TL;DR: A woman who married her husband very young and has been with him for years feels like she doesn’t know him anymore. Their marriage has never been very romantic, and she’s often felt unloved or like he doesn’t genuinely enjoy her company.
Now, after years of not being particularly religious, her husband has suddenly become a devout, born-again Christian. He’s changing his behavior, beliefs, and parenting approach, introducing prayer at family meals and insisting on raising their children in Christianity despite knowing she’s atheist/agnostic and uncomfortable with it.
When she expressed her concerns, he said God chose him to lead their children to Him and that he won’t stop praying with them, regardless of her objections.
She feels blindsided, alienated, and worried she’ll never be enough for him. She understands he has the right to change his beliefs, but she feels like the marriage and family dynamic she agreed to is disappearing, and she doesn’t know what to do.

I feel like I don’t know my husband anymore.
Backstory: My husband (34m) and I (32f) have been married since 2012. We got married when I was 18 for 6 days. He was 19. This isn’t the point of the story but it does drive the point home that we got married before we even truly knew who we were as individuals. We always said we were just growing up together. We now have a daughter (12) and a son (6) and while yes, we have been through many ups and downs throughout the years (deployments, infidelity, big arguments) we have just coexisted peacefully.
The one thing I’ve always noticed is how jealous I am when I see husbands doting over their wives. He has never been the romantic type, the sweet talker, or very extravagant in showing that he loves me. He just says he loves me. I have fried to him over the years telling him how I don’t even think he really enjoys me as a person, as he always seems annoyed or mad at me. He always says everything is fine. I’ve learned to accept that we will not have a romantic relationship unless he knows the end goal will be sex. I figured all guys are like this. I got married young, have been a stay at home mom most of this time and I realized this is my life now and there is nothing I can do about it. I made my bed now I must lie in it. I have a Cookie business and am getting more successful with that but for right now it’s not enough for me to survive on my own right now.

Fast forward to now. I need to start this off by saying I am agnostic/atheist. He is not. He knows this about me and has for many many years. Over the years we have dabbled in going to church. I mainly would only agree to make him happy and play along with the kids.
His parents raised him more religiously than mine raised me (for example: he went to a christian high school) but the whole time we have been together he has not been a practicing Christian. I’ve been happy with this. I curse, drink every now and then, and I guess you would say I “live a life of sin” because I don’t believe or follow the bible. (I don’t actually see it that way)

I’ve made the personal decision the past year or so to not attend church services on Sunday with my family. Since these two kids are his kids too- i told him he can feel free to take them on Sunday’s too. My daughter attends a youth group that she enjoys. My daughter and son both tell me (when their dad isn’t around) that they don’t want to go. My son goes as far as to say it’s confusing to him and he hates it and wants to stay home. I figured this is just normal kid talk because they don’t feel like getting ready lol.

Well… for a couple who has raised our children non-religiously for the past twelve years, all of the sudden my husband is bringing Christianity into our house against my wishes. He says it has been a gradual process, and sure, it has. But I am firm in my belief that I do not want to bring Christianity in our home all of the sudden and into how my house runs. I do not believe in God and, while I will not go into details on why I don’t want Christianity in my home, overall it is because it is my CHOICE.
We never say grace at the dinner table and my husband is thrusting that upon us and it is making me feel increasingly more uncomfortable. Because his prayers are becoming more and more extreme. Finally, this past Sunday, after he said grace at the table and made us all hold hands and he confessed how he wants us all to be closer to God, I shut off. I will say he has been a bit nicer and acts like he likes me more. But why? Because of god? Not because you actually even like me…

Why would he force this upon my household knowing this is the opposite of who I am?
I talked to him that night about how the sudden Christianity parenting is making my uncomfortable. While I expressed to him through tears that I thought we agreed to parent a certain way, It is not fair that he suddenly expects me to be okay with this and play along. I asked why the change? Why so extreme all of the sudden?

Also… I told him I respect his path but I ask that he doesn’t bring our kids along yet until they are old enough to choose on their own. He said no, as he believes the kids are too young to make decisions for themselves…

He said that he believes God has chosen him to teach our children about the word and to make our children disciples. He said he prays that I change and see God.
He said, no, he will not stop praying with the kids at the dinner table regardless of my opinion because he is a born again Christian.

What?? He has never spoken like this before. When just a month ago he would laugh at my jokes (vulgar a lot of the times), now he admits he doesn’t find the things i find funny anymore and won’t curse.

This change and unwillingness to change is not what i signed up for. This is the most unattractive I’ve ever been to him. I feel as if I will never be enough. I am not being mean to him right now but I can’t speak to him like I used to. He is a new person. That’s fine if that’s what he wants. But i didn’t sign up for this. Has anyone been in this situation and what do i do :( sorry it’s so rambly. Life is so busy with two kids I don’t have much time to proofread lol

Me (26M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been together for around a year we broke up about 5 months ago but got back together. While we were broke up she went on a night out with the work staff (we also work together) while she was out she ended up flirting with one of our coworkers and it ended up with her sat in his lap and he was kissing her neck. I wasn’t there but I was shown a picture and a video of it. This coworker flirts a lot but I did see them flirting while we were still together. She said that’s all that happened it didn’t go any further and I believe her but she also said it was just a bit of fun and isn’t attracted to him then proceeded to say that she doesn’t find black people attractive (the coworker in question is black and I am 3/4 white and 1/4 black so basically white) I challenged when she said that’s and stated that she wouldn’t flirt with him unless she was attracted to him. The other day I was on her phone and went to close the tab on the browser, I noticed that she had porn open on one of the tabs from a few days ago but it was a black guy and a white girl. I then went into her history and started looking at that and almost all the porn she watches is a black guy and white girl. Is this something I should be worried about. I am already insecure about this as I have gain a bit of weight and no longer look as good as I did when we first got together. I did ask her what type of porn she watches and she said that she doesn’t know and can’t remember the last time she watched porn. The history said the last time was 3 day prior.

Tl;dr my girlfriend says she is not attracted to black guys but watches porn with black guys should I be concerned.

We are still together.

I really need to hear your perspective on this because I want to be better. Together 2 years. My first relationship ever.

I broke up twice with him. Once at the very start. We talked and rekindled the same day (at his initiative).
The latest one, about three months ago, because I got scared of him (and I told him). It was more like a “break”. I said : we take time apart to work on our issues. Unfortunately a lot of context made it unjust and terrible and traumatic to him because he was thrown out of the country that we were currently living in. We are back together.

Now, he says that I manipulated him, and that he should have seen the ”signs before’” that he should never have accepted me disrespecting him so much and that those breakups were betrayals. For context, I expressed unease around him in our very early days, in a moment of emotional intimacy. Because he had “big emotions”, I said “you have anger in your eyes, and I am scared you will hurt me one day”. It was during a conversation about me experiencing violence I do not want to specify in the past. There is a lot more context around it, I am trying to make it as short as possible. He says me being scared of him is also unacceptable. He says I abandoned him and will do it again.

I understand his feelings of betrayal, of course, and that he feels abandoned as well. It is just that it is impossible for me to move forward as a couple if he does not even start to maybe consider that the second breakup at least was an attempt to break a cycle of misery, and that I did not know what else to do.

I have made a lot of mistakes in our relationship. I lied about my past, making things seem way worse than they actually were, because I felt ashamed or because they concerned things I didn’t want to talk about, but felt he should know about, and wanted him to reassure me about. And, I didn’t feel like “I can’t talk about this right now” or even “I want to keep this private” were answers he would accept. He told me a few times that those things were behind us. They happened right at the beginning of our relationship. But sometimes, during fights, those old wounds come back.

All this while, I am doing my best not to bring up my own grievances, including the reasons why I got scared of him, which I don’t want to get into here.

TL;DR: How can I help my partner heal from the hurt and sense of betrayal he experienced when I broke up with him (we are back together)?

I (28F) have been dating my partner (31M) for a year and we live together. Before we made things official, I was casually seeing him as well as another guy (30M)- I communicated this and they knew about each other! I quickly developed a HUGE crush on the other guy who’s not my current partner. Fast forward, this other guy isn’t coming around as much, and I start to date my now-partner monogamously. Recently the other guy reached out to me, and he apologized for not coming around as much and says he thinks about me often, and hopes to get a chance to be with me romantically again in the future if possible. Of course, I didn’t lead this on. But I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs!! I still have a little crush and I feel AWFUL. What do I do?

TL;DR: How do I handle this without blocking this guy? Am I an awful person?

Tl.dr: roommate says they’ll move out if partner is over more than once every few weeks what to do

Hey throw away cause idk if they have Reddit or not.

I (28f) and my roommate (31m) have lived together for 3 years with a few issues here and there but nothing too terrible. Ie. Him not helping with the cleaning or caretaking of the apartment, having loud parties whilst I was away etc.

Recently I have started a new relationship and it’s going really well, we’ve met up a handful of times mainly me going to his but it is an hour and 30 minutes away from my home and work place. I asked my roommate if it was possible to have my partner stay round after work, and I received a message that said (paraphrasing) “I’ll stay out of your way tonight, but if it starts happening too often then I’d prefer to move out”. I replied with “totally understandable” thinking he was meaning multiple times a week.

But after talking with him I learnt that he meant anything over once every few weeks was too much, I tried to reason saying “buddy, honestly once a week isn’t that bad” and he replied with “I’d just prefer to move out”. I might be the asshole on this part, but I said “okay that’s fine, I’ll put out for a new roommate”.

Like I completely understand if I was having him round for the most part of the week and he was semi moving in but like it’s no where near that in the slightest cause my guy is also at work 6 days a week. Just looking for advice/ seeing if I’m overreacting to this or not

i (20f) recently found out that my bf (20m) saves thirstraps of girls on TikTok. either thirstraps or normal videos of girls that have known scandals. i got genuinely hurt and lashed out and now we aren't talking.

trying to see his side, i rarely send intimate videos. we haven't done it yet. and i only give him head abt once a month.

i know that 20s is the peak of our hormones and horny-ness or whatever and i understand that he consumes "sexual" content. im not gonna be a hypocrite, i watch sexual videos too, videos of couples. i guess what hurts me is that i watch videos of couples while he watches other girls specifically. im hurt by the choice of videos.

i genuinely miss him but everytime i think about it, it just makes me hurt. and i'm also thinking that if we don't work out, the next guy is probably the same anyway so maybe i'll just tolerate this?

also, is it not like a giveaway that a guy is more likely to cheat?

TL;DR: bf saves vids of other girls on tiktok. should i tolerate or move on?

My (25F) girlfriend (23F) and I have been together for five years. We met when we were really young, and neither of us was looking for a serious relationship, but we fell in love and things just worked. We were long distance for the first three years and have been living together for the last two. We've always had a really happy, peaceful relationship and have talked a lot about our future together, including getting married.

From the beginning, my girlfriend was pretty clear that she'd never pictured herself settling down. She always imagined herself living an adventurous life, whereas I'd always assumed I'd eventually settle down and have a family. Over time, she realized she was happy in a committed relationship, and I realized I wanted more adventure out of life than I'd originally thought. I guess we both felt like we'd met somewhere in the middle.

The one thing we've always known we might disagree on is having kids. I've always wanted them, and she's never been sure. We've talked about it a lot over the years and agreed to give her time to figure out what she wants, with the understanding that we wouldn't get married until we knew whether we were on the same page.

We've always talked about the importance of having our own lives and not becoming a codependent couple, but we live in a city far away from everyone we know, and making friends has been hard. Somewhere along the way, I think we fell into a routine without really realizing it. We don't go out or try new things very often, and I know our mental health has played a big part in that. My anxiety has gotten worse, and she's been struggling with OCD spirals. I don't think either of us realized how much we'd slipped into survival mode and stopped doing things just for fun. Our lives have become pretty small, and I think we're both feeling the effects of that.

We recently had a long, difficult conversation about our future. She told me she doesn't think she wants to live like this forever and that she's been thinking more and more about all the experiences she might be missing out on by settling down so young. I think she was worried I wouldn't understand where she was coming from, but the truth is that I've been feeling a lot of the same things. I think we've both been so focused on getting through everyday life that we've lost sight of what we actually want our lives to look like.

We decided that before we start thinking about breaking up, we want to try to work on ourselves and our lives, both individually and together. We love each other so much, and neither of us feels like our relationship is necessarily the problem. It feels more like we're unhappy with the lives we've fallen into, and we want to see if we can change that before making any big decisions about our future.

I'm proud of us for having this conversation because I know we needed to have it, but I'm also really struggling with everything that's come up since. We've always felt so secure in our relationship, and now that the possibility of us not ending up together has been brought up, I don't know how to go back to normal. I find myself thinking about it constantly, and it's hard to just enjoy being with her when part of me is scared that we might not have a future together. At the same time, I don't want that fear to get in the way of us actually trying to work through things.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar, especially in a relationship where you still love each other and are happy together in a lot of ways, but you're starting to question whether the life you've built is really the life you want. Were you able to work through it together, or did you eventually realize you wanted different things? And how do you deal with the uncertainty in the meantime without letting it take over your relationship?

tl;dr we're going through a rough patch and i don't know how to deal with the uncertainty

Hi! My (f15) and my bf (m15) have been dating for about 1 year and 8 months abd i really do love him but recently I’ve been finding myself wanting more space.

for example, he wants to text a lot but sometimes I just don’t feel like it but I used to want to talk to him all time.

when we’re apart he tells me how much he misses me but to be honest alot of the time I don’t really miss him .

of course I still have moments when I really want to be with him but I don’t consistently miss him when we’re apart and I enjoy having time for my hobbies

is this a normal stage of relationships or something deeper?

please don’t comment about me being to young for love or about teen relationships not lasting as that’s not what I’m asking about and I have gotten comments like that on previous posts! Thanks!

tl;dr Don’t miss my bf as much anymore

Tl;dr he's giving mixed signals.

I, 26F moved away for MA in the Fall 2026. My partner, 26M is currently in a different city, preparing for GRE, and working as a TA. My field is Film Studies and his is Physics, he's still deciding on his narrowed stream.

After i moved away for graduate school few months back, i made him promise that he'll come and see me after his exams. His exams are supposed to finish by the end of this month. I'm kinda getting busy with my school work, and tbh, I don't even know if i can host him as I'm sharing the apartment with one more roommate.

On the flip side, he's been jokingly telling me that i should pay for his flight, when i clearly told him, I'm short on money as of my current situation as a graduate student. He hasn't bought tickets, and it seems he has no intention of showing up.

Now, my concern is that, I've never had a successful long term relationship. This is something both of us feel, we've shared a common sense that we don't feel affection for people and hard to care for someone who's not physically around. Therefore we are both on the same page that it's important to see each other, after few months gap. Otherwise it'll be hard to even feel anything for each other.

Now, I've told him bluntly that, I'm not forcing him, to come and see me, it's upto him. I know we can figure out something if he only intends to come. But i feel like I'm being a despo talking to him about this again and again.

I like this guy, we have a lot in common, but the uncertainty, and his non-chalant behavior towards this is bugging me. I try to be understanding that he has very important exams and all. But idk am i the problem?

We’ve been together for a year. We’ve kept our relationship casual but exclusive, so there’s not a huge expectation to spend the rest of our lives together, but we’re also not intending on making this a short term relationship. My anxiety has almost always been a point of tension. It’s not an every day issue, but it comes up every couple months and leads to a rather big disagreement and discussion.
It typically goes something like
I miscommunicate something due to overthinking or fear that an interaction can end poorly, so I communicate indirectly about something.
My boyfriend sees that I’m being indirect or feels like nothing he says or does is a right answer because I’m being so indirect.. he gets frustrated. I sense that he’s frustrated and I ask why. Then this leads to an argument.

Sometimes he really is in the wrong because he unnecessarily rude, and sometimes I’m in the wrong because I was communicating so poorly. He also has a tendency to get incredibly defensive which I think leads to me being indirect or careful with my words because I don’t want to put him on the defense, but then he says he’s on the defense because I’m so careful with my words and he can’t tell what I’m actually trying to communicate.

I won’t downplay this and say it’s not a big issue, because it is. But I will say 95% of the time we are very happy together, communicate well and have fun. It’s just every once in a while we have a point of miscommunication. But now my boyfriend says that he feels we’ve had the same conversation where he’s just asking me to be more direct and instead of trying to choose my words so carefully that I miscommunicate, too many times and it’s starting to exhaust him because he feels like he is constantly having to teach me how to communicate or reassure me that he actually cares about me (my concerns tend to be that I’ll communicate a need/want the wrong way and upset him. So he feels the need to defend that he’s not a mean or aggressive person… which he is not). He has been the absolute best partner I’ve ever had. He is very sweet, caring and supportive. He wants the best for me, and I want the best for him. We always take care of each other in any way we can and I want to put in all the effort I can to let this relationship thrive.

I’m in therapy, I’m on medication for my anxiety, I regularly take feedback he gives me and reflect and work on my communication with him and everyone in my life. But it’s getting to the point where it feels like that’s not enough for him, and I might lose him. I’m going to take what he’s told me, and try my best to be more direct but I fear it won’t be enough. I’m just not sure what to do.

TLDR: I overthink my communication with my boyfriend due to anxiety, this leads to indirect, miscommunication with my boyfriend (every few months, but not daily), and tension in my otherwise wonderful relationship. But due to repeated discussions of my boyfriend reassuring me of the same things, I fear that he may end things with me. I want to get ahold of my anxiety but I feel like I’m at a loss.

Long story short, me (23M) and my ex (21F) dated for 3 years, broke up cause of constant fighting, then were a situationship for another year, then as we were getting closer emotionally and just about to try again, she started talking to another guy, got with him, they were together for 1 year, left him ("couldnt get sexually, mentally, and all ways possible comfortable around him even though he was perfect towards her and good looking and they had so much in common") then 2 weeks later shes with another guy cause they worked together and hes a religious guy and she just never felt so happy talking to someone blah blah, and then they broke up 2 weeks later cause he was an overprotective narcissist not letting her do anyhting..

Now through all this shit she was always talking to me (but only periodically ofc, venting bout all the bad shit about her boyfriends, i prolly know more about them than their other ex gfs)

She would hug me, she would talk to me, she would call ME in difficult life situations...

Now she always said she never wants to lose me, that i mean a lot to her, but that she just doesnt see a future anymore with me because she always subconciously always sees our past fights in her head when we talk and she cant get over that.

Now i told her countless times, and showed it, that we could talk, we could work through it together, that we learned and nothing is the same. But no, one day she is just an angel, talking, calling, and the next 2 days i get ghosted.

Tbh i am sick and fucking tired of the games, but the thing is i cannot explain the level of love i feel for this girl, shit if shed stab me with a knife, id help her push it deeper.

What are your thoughts? Any advice?

Thank you all.

TLDR; In love with my ex of 5 years thats all over the place mentally, switched 2 bfs after me but doesnt want to let me go, but also cant see herself with me because the fight we had in our past always are on her mind when im with her, and she just shuts down. Any advice is much appreciated.

TL;DR: close male friend says i am just a friend but acts otherwise. he is sweet but this has become draining for me because i had feelings that he says he does not reciprocate. i want to ask him to please town down his romantic behavior, but am unsure how to do so without things getting awkward or risking the friendship.

hi r/relationships, looking for some advice. any input would be much appreciated. thank you!
i'm in a sticky situation with a friend right now, my male best friend, i guess you could call him. there has always been ~something~ there, i guess. our friends would comment on our great chemistry to me and say we would be a great couple. there has always been a special connection. he is aware of it, too given how he confides in me, most recently said i would be "the most understanding" about a setback he had.

now maybe i am misinterpreting, but i think, and my friends think he is a little extreme for "just a friend". he told me i am worth worshipping, sent me a "thought of u" text unprompted, constantly updates me about his family and tells me they would love me, had his sibling follow me on socials and none of his other friends, gets uneasy around other of my male friends and asked where one slept when he came to visit (???) while the friend in question sleeps in my bed when he visits, lets me call him a nickname only his family uses and gets joy when i do (or now "did", past tense), asked me what names i like for my children, said seeing places in my country with me (we are a flight away) was like a "dream come true", constantly sends me random life updates, and he is very sweet to me, like once he told me i would "look good with any haircut". there may be more i am forgetting. my friends say acting like a partner without the label. he always initiates, i have nothing to hide.

so here is where it gets tricky. he said he thinks of me as a friend. ALL of this happened before the turning point i am getting to. i wanted to be more, but ofc i respect his wishes. here is where i get to what is bugging me. we went no contact for two months because he came to see me during my bday weekend only to try to ditch me to hang out with another girl he had just met at a party we went to. naturally i got upset because i wanted to spend time with him...among other feelings. he did apologize, though not to my face, and i could tell he felt bad. after we start talking again, he says he got me a gift during his vacation and thought of me. oh, and he started volunteering for a cause similar to what i work in and tried to "name drop" me to people who definitely would not know me...ok.

we are talking and i really do value him. but ngl, i am frustrated. he recently said we should have me come to his hometown "for a night or two", and now he wants to come to my grad in a few months, invited himself. he cannot detach for some reason.

the problem is i think of him trying to leave me and i just feel so...disposable. and he is still acting a little "much" despite saying we are just friends and still feeling the need to confirm the relationship of every man i am around. i don't think that is necessary. he is not a player by any means and he is a nice person but i'm not a fan of this. he was giving mixed signals before he knew i liked him then they got even worse after he found out.

so. i really want to tell him to stop being overly sweet and speaking what i think is romantically coded language. it's honestly getting exhausting, and i don't think he reflected on my message for distance. the issue is i hate any form of confrontation, and i feel like i will just look obsessed or crazy if i bring it up given he said he thinks of me as a friend (despite the confusion). he said something along the lines of he wants to travel, party whatever before "settling down" so my brother thinks he doesn't want a relationship right now with anyone. i don't care to wait to find out though.

i think what i am looking for is both validation that 1) i am not acting irrational and 2) advice on how to approach him without things getting weird. grateful for any advice.

I 22F and my 24M boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half now and im just looking on advice if anyones dealt with a similar situation or just advice in general. Prior to me and my boyfriend dating he did try drugs once that he admitted to and I explained my boundary that drugs is a hard no/deal breaker and believed he understood as he told me of how they affected people in his family and him trying them the one time was from being in university and pressure from friends.

In January this year i found out from a close friend that he had been doing them throughout our relationship and she had heard from one of her friends who knew my boyfriend’s friends and assumed i was aware. Anyways after a week and a half of basically him swearing, promising and lying to my face etc he broke down and admitted to doing them unfortunately i had to lie and say i knew all the times he did which is why he admitted to doing them. It was and still is extremely difficult and i made the decision to say with him as he went to therapy told his family and moved back home and stopping drinking/going out with those friends who did drugs.

His admitted to doing drugs for the first 5 months on 5/6 separate occasions and i want to include that he lost his father in a really unfortunate and sudden work accident which he explained was his reason for doing drugs as he felt down did coke and forgot about the entire situation which i can sympathise with as i cannot imagine how he feels or begin to understand but it just hurts a lot as i was with him literally everyday and minute i could be during the period his father was hospitalised and there after and to sound selfish it feels upsetting to know he couldn’t turn to me when i had been there as much as i could be for him.

Anyways i decided to stay with him and otherwise prior to finding out he did drugs and now hes been an amazing boyfriend. Ive never had to ask for effort to be put in, he makes time, listens, plans dates knows what i like when it comes to smaller things. Literally except for this issue its been an entirely perfect relationship and we barely argue aside from this like genuinely this is where our current arguments tend to stem from whether directly or indirectly.

The reason for me posting this now is because I went through his phone which he has offered me to do i never did but i just decided to the other night which i have apologised to him for doing as its not right and its not something i believe in but I found evidence that he didn’t stop doing drugs in May 2025 like he said he did and was doing it up until December 2025. I found a text saved in his friends chat asking if they were getting drugs and a video of him holding a key (with nothing on it) to his friends nose and a photo after with both their pupils very very large.

I confronted him about it and he is staying firm on the fact he stopped doing drugs in May and his text asking if they were getting drugs was because he was the one who sorted his friends drugs which i told him doesn’t make sense as his friends had been doing drugs long before him as he said his first time was october 2024 which i know to be true as multiple of our mutual friends who do drugs mentioned him not doing them when we were first just talking and it wasn’t serious. These friends also didn’t know of my boundary of drugs. Anyways sorry it doesn’t make sense he would sort his friends drugs for them if he wasn’t doing them especially how the message was worded with a “we” getting drugs not “do u need drugs sorted for tonight”

I’m really just looking advice as after speaking to him we are currently taking space he has reached out and sent a couple of long messages of him reaffirming that he was telling the truth and he can’t remember that night to a T but he says he wasn’t on drugs and a lot of just saying he loves me and wants me to be happy and understands the hurt hes caused and wants to do whatever to fix it.

I just don’t know how to move forward because like I said the relationship otherwise if you forget about this issue is perfect from 2025-26 i was so unbelievably happy with him and now its just horrible. It feels everytime we make progress something happens and i just feel like i don’t know him anymore.

Thank you for reading, any advice is appreciated.

**TL;DR;** : boyfriend did drugs behind my back for first 5 months of relationship. Stayed with him believing that was true and he stopped after 5 months but recent evidence i found on his phone says otherwise and I don’t know how to move forward or even if we can.

TL;DR: I met a guy online, and we really clicked. We have a similar sense of humor, tease each other a lot, and live relatively close to each other, which is a huge plus. However, I'm scared that he might not find me attractive in real life, or that my personality and humor might sometimes be too much for him. I really like him, but I'm afraid of meeting him because I don't want to lose what we have. At the same time, I don't want my insecurities to ruin something that could turn into something really nice.
Hi! Recently, I met a guy online, and honestly, we really clicked. It's one of those situations where you just seem to get along with someone naturally. We have a pretty similar sense of humor, and we both love teasing each other and taking the piss out of one another. Our conversations are usually fun, and I genuinely enjoy talking to him. He also lives relatively close to me, which is a huge plus because it means that meeting up is actually a realistic possibility.
However, there's something that's been bothering me quite a lot lately.
I'm really scared of meeting him in real life because I'm worried that he might think I look different from my pictures and end up not liking me. I know that pictures don't always capture what someone looks like perfectly, and I know that people can have different expectations, but the thought of him seeing me in person and suddenly losing interest genuinely scares me. What if he likes talking to me online, but when we finally meet, something just doesn't click for him anymore?
I think the worst part is that I actually like him quite a lot already, and I don't want to lose what we have. I know that we haven't even met yet, so technically, I shouldn't get too attached, but it's difficult when you genuinely enjoy someone's company and start looking forward to talking to them. Part of me really wants to meet him and see where things go, while another part wants to avoid the whole situation because I'm scared of getting hurt. It's like I want things to move forward, but I'm also terrified of what might happen if they do.
I honestly don't know what to do about it. I don't want my insecurities to stop me from experiencing something that could turn out to be really nice, but I also can't just magically stop worrying about all the possible things that could go wrong.
There's also another thing I'm a little insecure about, and that's my personality.
I'm a pretty creative person, and my sense of humor can get a little... questionable sometimes. I like making freaky jokes, saying random stuff, and generally being a bit chaotic. It's just how I am, and I usually don't mean anything bad by it. He even calls me "Freaky Ricky" quite often, which I find pretty funny, but sometimes I wonder if I might be a little too much for him.
What if I occasionally make him uncomfortable without realizing it? What if he doesn't like certain jokes but just goes along with them because he doesn't want to make things awkward? I know I might be overthinking this, but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me, especially because I genuinely care about what he thinks and how he feels. I'd much rather know if I've crossed a line than accidentally make him uncomfortable without even noticing.
At the same time, I don't want to overanalyze every single thing I say. I don't want to feel like I have to filter my entire personality just to make sure he likes me. I want to be able to joke around, be weird, and act like myself without constantly worrying that I'm somehow doing too much.
We also have this ongoing argument about who's more dominant, and obviously, I insist that it's me, while he refuses to admit it. 🙄🙄 It's honestly pretty funny because neither of us seems willing to back down, and I think that's part of what makes our dynamic so entertaining.
Still, I sometimes wonder how he actually sees me and whether we're on the same page about everything. I know that playful teasing is a big part of our interactions, but I guess there's still a little voice in the back of my head asking whether he genuinely enjoys my personality as much as I enjoy his.
I think what makes all of this so confusing is that I really want to be myself around him, but I'm also scared that being myself might somehow make him lose interest. I want him to like me for who I am, including my weird humor and chaotic personality, but I'm afraid that I might be getting ahead of myself or that things could be different once we meet in person.
So, I guess my main questions are: How do I stop worrying so much about meeting him? How can I tell whether he's genuinely comfortable with my humor and personality? And how do I deal with the fear of losing someone I really like before I've even had the chance to meet them?
I know I probably can't predict how everything will turn out, but I'd really appreciate some advice because I genuinely don't know how to approach this situation.

I (27M) finally fell in love after years, but my girlfriend's (21F) busy schedule is making me feel lonely. Am I being unreasonable?

I've been dating my girlfriend for about two months, and things have been going really well between us. We fell in love pretty quickly, and I genuinely haven't felt this strongly about someone in years.

The problem is our schedules.

I work remotely from 10 AM to 6 PM, Monday to Friday, so I have most evenings free. She's a university student who also works six days a week, usually until 1–2 AM. On top of that, she has volleyball practice, friends, and other responsibilities.

Because of this, we usually see each other 2–3 times a week, often very late at night. Sometimes we barely get an hour together before falling asleep.

For example, yesterday was one of her rare days off. I drove her to volleyball practice, brought her pancakes, picked her up around 1 AM, and we went back to my place. We spent maybe an hour together before going to sleep. This morning, I drove her to university.

She has another day off today, but she's meeting friends tonight. I completely understand that, especially since she hasn't seen them in weeks. I'm genuinely not upset that she wants to see her friends.

What hurts is knowing that we probably won't get another proper evening together this week. We haven't even discussed when we'll see each other next.

To be fair to her, she does make an effort. She's often the one suggesting when we meet, she calls to tell me she misses me, and she sometimes comes over after exhausting shifts just to sleep next to me. I know she loves me, and I don't think she's intentionally neglecting our relationship.

But lately I've been feeling increasingly sad and lonely. Sometimes I wake up next to her and immediately start thinking about how little time we'll have together for the rest of the week.

I'm 27, and I'm at a point in my life where I want a serious relationship with someone I can share everyday life with. I want to cook together, spend evenings relaxing, go places, and just enjoy being around each other without constantly having to squeeze our relationship into whatever time is left.

Something I've also realized is that in my previous relationships, I was usually the busier partner. My ex-girlfriends sometimes complained about not spending enough time together, and honestly, I didn't always prioritize them as much as I should have. Now that I'm on the other side, I understand how they must have felt.

I've even started thinking about breaking up, not because I don't love her or because she's done something wrong, but because I want to escape the sadness and uncertainty. And that scares me because I've spent years looking for someone I genuinely connect with.

I haven't properly talked to her about these feelings yet. I'm planning to, but I don't want to make her feel like her efforts aren't appreciated.

Am I being unreasonable for wanting more time together? Is this something I need to work on within myself, or could our schedules genuinely make us incompatible despite loving each other?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who've been in relationships where one partner was significantly busier than the other.

TL;DR: My girlfriend (21F) and I (27M) are deeply in love, but between her university, work, and other commitments, we barely get quality time together. She genuinely makes an effort, but I'm starting to feel lonely and unhappy despite loving her. I'm even considering breaking up just to escape these feelings. Am I being unreasonable, or can incompatible schedules ruin an otherwise good relationship?

I am in my 40s and when my brother (42m) had his two kids ( both under 10,) I made a conscious choice to play an active role in their lives because we don’t really have anybody else but each other, family-wise. Over the years, I have babysat every time they have asked, including for trips, date nights, you name it. I’ve basically never said no because I absolutely love these kids and I know that I add a lot of value to their lives.

I’ve always gone above and beyond for the family because honestly that’s just my style. I enjoy bringing value to the lives of people in my family and community and this is just how I am with everyone.

Each time my brother and his wife have eagerly requested and accepted any help provided. I came to their house when their water broke with their first kid (their request) and cleaned up the whole house (my offer) so they could have one less thing to worry about. I came over in the middle of the night to stay with their oldest while their youngest was born.

I always make sure the children know that even though I am the fun auntie, their parents still set all the rules. I defer everything to the parents and don’t even spoil the kids.

During this past summer, I went to their house one day each weekend and played with the kids and my brother and his wife used that time to nap, do household chores, or to outside chores like shopping. I would even bring food for the day I was there so that there was one less thing for them to think about.

I don’t do any of this for any reason other than I care about contributing to my community. This world is a terrible place and we could all use a little more village.

A few months ago, a mutual friend told me that my sister-in-law had been complaining about me behind my back. I actually always really appreciate learning things like this because it allows me a chance to become a better person. My worst nightmare is somebody disliking me and me not knowing or having an opportunity to repair the relationship and improve myself.

But as I learned about the details of what seemed like pretty excessive complaining about me, I became really disheartened. My sister-in-law characterized me as intrusive. She said that my visits during the summer prevented them from taking the kids anywhere. The thing is, we live in a very hot climate and this was a brutal summer – leaving the house was borderline dangerous. However, each weekend I had actually checked in and asked if they would rather go somewhere and they always said no.

She complained about a recent time when I spent a long weekend at their house to help my brother watch the kids so that she could go on a girls trip (their request). I had brought house slippers to feel comfortable for all those days, and I had forgotten to take them with me and accidentally left them by the door where they put all their own shoes. She listed that as something intrusive.

She told my friend that she doesn’t wanna say anything to me because my help is beneficial. She has always said thank you anytime I’ve done something for them, and has outlined the ways that it was helpful. She says things like “I’m glad you’re here to play with the kids because I can take a break.”

She’s complained about me making food at her house, that I do it in a way that she doesn’t like, but has said to my face that she appreciates not having to cook for a day.

I’m not perfect in my actions - I have ADHD so sometimes I forget things. We have different personality types – I’m more outgoing and she’s more reserved and I can understand that there would naturally be some messy interactions.

But my whole heart broke when I found out she had been making all these complaints about me and never said anything to my face. Some of them just feel so blatantly unfair. Like after a whole long weekend of giving up my time to watch her kids, for her to notice nothing but an inconvenience of forgetting my slippers just honestly feels cruel.

Or complaining that I prevented them from taking the kids anywhere in the summer when I repeatedly asked and they always said no and it was too hot either way. She could’ve told me to not come over at any time and I would’ve been totally fine with it. I don’t even like being at their house that much. I just come for the kids because they ask about me.

I assume there are probably other things, but I had to stop listening at some point. I absolutely love to get feedback and have the opportunity to work and strengthen important relationships. I don’t even mind that she’s talking about me behind my back because everybody has a right to vent.

But I’m so devastated by the things she’s chosen to complain about, especially in the context of how much she directly has benefited from my labor. Even my poor brother doesn’t benefit from my help as much as she does. I wouldn’t have minded if she said hey I really appreciate your help, but could you do… instead?

I’ve worked for 15 years to build this relationship with her since the day she and my brother met. We’ve done lots of nice things for each each other over the years and we’ve worked hard to build our relationship even despite so many personality differences. We probably wouldn’t be close if we weren’t family, but I’ve never approached her with anything but respect. I would’ve changed any of my behavior in a heartbeat if she ever asked. And I would have ignored all of these complaints if she showed meaningful gratitude for me fulfilling any of the requests they’ve made to be there for the kids. It just seems unfair, considering all the circumstances.

I don’t even wanna share any more examples because I don’t wanna make her out to be a horrible person. I think she’s generally well-intentioned and has done a number of thoughtful things over the years.

The thing is, I can’t look at her in the same way again. I don’t wanna say anything because I don’t want to betray what our friend shared in confidence. And I don’t want her to not trust our friend either. The only reason I still interact is because she’s my brother‘s wife and I do love those kids. I took a short break from seeing them very much for a couple of months, saying I was busy with work. But the kids noticed my absence so much and I don’t wanna punish them for something that isn’t their fault.

Regardless, I have set a lot of boundaries and severely limited my time with them either way since finding out. Most of the time when I’m there, I’m with the kids anyway.

How do I continue to interact, knowing everything I know? Should I confront her and admit how I found this out? Should I do nothing but show humility and accept sole responsibility for the friction, even though I don’t think it’s a fair assessment? I don’t mind being shallow for the rest of our lives for the sake of the kids, but I’m just really heartbroken.

TLDR: My (45F) sister in law (38F) has been complaining about me behind my back for things that seem mean-spirited, considering how much time and labor I’ve dedicated to being there for her family and kids. I would like to experience some repair, but can’t admit how I learned this information because I don’t want to betray our mutual friend’s confidence for telling me. Not sure how to move forward.

Hi everyone idk how to even start this but I am so lost and I need help she is constantly getting upset with me for anything whether it is big or little on the big stuff I absolutely understand she’s mad I forgot she has work that day absolutely reasonable (she works full time and I’m working full time while in college) but then she gets just as mad/hurt on stuff where I go to sleep earlier than she does or take a while to respond to texts or even when I do things that I’ve done for years like asking how her day is and then asking more specific questions when she says idk or fine which I feel like is normal she’s constantly mad at me and just says she’s hurt and talking normally will never fix anything yet in the past just trying to apologize and talk to her helped but now when I apologize she gets mad says I don’t mean it and refuses to talk to me for a while. I don’t even know what to do at this point we’ve been together for just about 2 years and it feels like I can’t do anything right in the relationship anymore. Any help would be greatly appreciated and I apologize for the run on paragraph I didn’t know how else to say it
TL;Dr

I, (15F) have started to date a girl, (16F) and I’ve felt so many feelings in the past three days. Me and my junior friends went to Waffle House on Sunday morning at 2:00am and William, ( the girl I’m dating happened to be there. [ it’s a marching band tradition to Go out to Waffle House after state competition ] ) anyways, after me and my friends were done eating, she told me to follow her outside the waffle House and told me she liked me, and that she was trans. Her being trans is somewhat recent. Up until this point, I liked her for a year as a guy, and I told her I needed some time to process my feelings because I’m straight. I’ve been thinking real hard for two days, and my feelings are still the same. I still really really like her and can’t imagine not wanting to be closer to her. Yesterday, we met up at lunch and went outside in a somewhat secluded area. I said, “I know this might be corny, but I wrote you a card because I wanted to make sure I didn’t leave anything out.” After reading the card, she said “oh wow, I thought you would have rejected me” which is understandable. I thought I was straight too lol. We have a date planned for somewhere downtown before we make anything official, so we can get to know each other better.

Length of relationship: 1 day
some things that happened before I knew she liked me:

> she gave me her sweater when she knew I was cold

> she has sought me out just to say hi

> she left his sweater outside and so I picked it up, brought it home and the next morning I set out a chair in the trumpet section with it on it folded, and at the end of the day it was gone :)

( I don’t think she knows it was me I can’t wait to tell her )

one last thing, I am a little scared because this is my first relationship, but so far I’ve been really open and communicative.

tl:dr - I still like this girl that’s told me she’s trans and we’re going on a date soon before we make anything official

I’m 23F, and my boyfriend is 30M. We’ve been together for four months, and I’m looking for practical advice on improving how we handle disagreements.
Recently, we argued after I asked him to make me breakfast. I usually prepare breakfast and dinner for both of us, and I wanted him to make breakfast for me for a change.
He kept telling me to wait, so over the course of an hour, I playfully asked around six times when it would be ready. After he spent about 30 minutes in the kitchen, I checked and realized there was no breakfast. He got annoyed and said I was nagging him. He explained that he was doing his normal routine and would make it later.
I understand that repeatedly asking could be annoying, and I could have given him more space. I also wish he had communicated that he needed more time so I could make my own food.
Later, he touched my back, and I asked him to stop because I wanted to be left alone. He continued touching me and arguing. I called him dramatic, and he said I only cared about being right. I was trying to explain why I was frustrated, not win the argument.
During disagreements, he sometimes assumes I think negatively about him, saying things like, “You think I’m stupid,” even though I’ve never said that. He also sometimes says he’ll always be the bad guy.
During this argument, I called him manipulative and yelled at him, which escalated things. He then got close to me and yelled directly in my face. He told me to leave and said he wanted to break up. When I started crying, he told me to stop or he would call property management. I spent around two hours pleading with him to have a talk and to not to end the relationship heated. When I asked if he cared that I was crying, he said, “Yeah, but whatever.” Eventually, he calmed down, apologized, and listened to my side.
This was the first time he actually broke up with me, but the second time he brought up breaking up during an argument. He has also told me he has broken up with all his previous girlfriends.
I know I contributed to the argument and want to improve how I communicate when I’m frustrated. However, being yelled at in my face and having my request for space ignored has affected how secure I feel with him.
He’s a therapist, so I was surprised by how the argument unfolded. This was our fourth argument in four months of officially dating.
I care about him and want to understand how couples can change unhealthy conflict patterns. I’m especially struggling with how to address the fact that we sometimes interpret each other’s intentions negatively.

TL;DR: I’m 23F, and my boyfriend is 30M. We’ve been together for four months and have had four arguments. During our latest argument, I called him dramatic and manipulative and yelled at him. He then got close to me and yelled directly in my face, ignored my request to stop touching me, and threatened to break up with me. I spent two hours pleading with him not to end the relationship. He eventually apologized and listened to my side. He sometimes assumes I think negatively about him during disagreements, and I’m trying to understand how we can communicate better. I love him and want to work things out, but I feel less secure in our relationship. How can couples break unhealthy conflict patterns, establish boundaries, and rebuild trust?

\*\*For people who have worked through recurring conflict in relationships:\*\*

I’m looking for practical experiences and advice on approaching these conversations constructively.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6–7 months. He loves me a lot and treats me well, but recently, I’ve been feeling really differently about our relationship. I feel suffocated, and talking to him or saying “I love you” feels like a chore. Sometimes, I genuinely can’t stand hearing his voice, and we argue over little things.
The confusing part is that our relationship is good overall, and he genuinely loves me. I feel like I miss being single, but I’m also scared that if I leave him, I’ll miss him and regret my decision.
Part of me feels like these feelings are temporary and that I’ll eventually fall back in love with him, but another part of me feels like I genuinely don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
I’ve also recently been talking to someone else who has an interest in me, and I don’t know if that has anything to do with how I’m feeling.
I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend because he treats me well, but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship when I’m unsure about my feelings.
Should I give it time and see if my feelings come back, or should I end the relationship? Has anyone else experienced this and had their feelings return?
TDLR:My boyfriend and I have been together for 6–7 months, and although he loves me and treats me well, I’ve been feeling suffocated and have lost feelings for him. I miss being single, but I’m scared I’ll regret leaving him. I’ve also started talking to someone else who’s interested in me, and I’m unsure whether my feelings are temporary or if I genuinely want to be single. Should I stay and see if my feelings return or break up with him?

I've \[23M\] been feeling unhappy in my relationship for the last few months while I still love my girlfriend
\[21F\]. We've been arguing more, I often feel emotionally drained, and I've started preferring time alone or with friends. We had a serious conversation about it and agreed to try and make things work, but things still feel quite disconnected.

One thing that's adding to my confusion is that I've had on-and-off feelings for my best friend \[22F\] at different points over the years. Nothing has ever happened between us, bar saying we would give it a go if it happened naturally and I'd never cheat, but those feelings seem to have resurfaced recently. I can't tell if that's because my relationship is struggling, or if it's a sign that something deeper has been there all along.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you figure out whether you were experiencing a rough patch or whether the relationship had run its course?

TL;DR: I’ve been unhappy in my relationship for 6-7 weeks despite still loving my girlfriend. I’ve also had on-and-off feelings for my best friend of 5 years, and I’m struggling to work out whether I’m experiencing a rough patch or if the relationship has run its course.

Me (25f) and my bf (25m) have been together for over 2 years now. At the start he was alittle bit more lovey dovey but honestly he never has been super affectionate. He says it’s how he is and he isn’t a super emotional person and that he shows his love in acts of kindness, which is true. He does a lot for me and I’m always so grateful. When I brought it up to him that it makes me sad he said he would make an effort, which I appreciate but it’s still not really there. Most of the time I’m ok with it because he’s okay with me being affectionate and he shows his love in other ways like I said before. But sometimes I get so in my head about it. He never calls me beautiful, or sexy or hot. Just tells me I look nice every now and then. He follows some accounts for a hobby of his(motorcycles) that also will post models and when I brought it up he says he doesn’t follow them for that reason, but I get so in my head because I don’t look like these types of women, so I find myself thinking “well, if I looked like that would he call me beautiful or sexy?”

These things combined I get worried I’m not actually his type physically. It’s really been affecting my self esteem. I love him a lot, and honestly I am confident that he does love me as a person, I’m just not confident that he’s attracted to me fully, and now I’m constantly comparing myself to other women online and around me. Anytime I brought it up he reassures me I’m his type and that if he didn’t want to be with me he wouldn’t. I also feel like a burden whenever I bring it up and like it’s eventually going to push him away

Anyone who is in a similar situation, how do you not get insecure?

TL;DR bf isn’t affectionate and I’m feeling insecure and comparing myself to other women and don’t want it to ruin my relationship. Any advice helpful

Me and my boyfriend are long distance, and so our only means of communication are texting/over the phone. My boyfriend is also a gamer, and he is more often than not on the game. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against this and I understand it’s an escape for a lot of men, especially considering how young we are, and I did try get into it too and I bought a console and everything so I could play with him, but he almost never responds to texts in the day until 3/4 hours later and will only give dry responses due to him being on the game. We do call and FaceTime a lot but even then he’s on the game as we do and it doesn’t feel as if I really have his attention. I get that he’s young and it’s his way of winding down, but he’s constantly on the game and it leaves me feeling a bit ignored. He doesn’t get offline until 1, sometimes 2 in the morning, by which time I’ve normally gone to bed as I have things I need to be up for the following day. Honestly I’m just not sure what to do or how to approach the situation, I have brought it up in a lighthearted joking manner but he usually just brushes it off. Is this normal? Do any other women have this problem with their significant other who games? Or if you’re someone who games, how do you and your partner deal with this if you have the same problem? Please give me any advice you have on this situation, it’s much appreciated.

TL;DR my boyfriend is a gamer and it’s leaving me feeling very disconnected from him (to put it lightly)

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In the beginning of the relationship, everything happened fast. After a few months, she was living more in my house than hers, so she moved in. I thought it was too soon but didn't say anything because I was afraid of hurting her. I adopted the same attitude towards other things she did, and slowly, we both grew resentful.

At the same time, she's strong, very kind, and lovable. My family loves her; they have become very close to her, and she's more intimate with them than I am. She also helps me a lot emotionally. She's the one who helps me open up to people, and since I met her, my relationship with my family has become much better.

Unfortunately, she is very insecure and judgmental, to the point that her insecurities started to affect me too. I never had a problem with her appearance, but after months and months of hearing her talk about how ugly she is, and having every compliment I give her dismissed, I have now started to agree with her. That's fucked up!

She had a good, steady job where we lived. Then I had to move to a different city because of a job opportunity. We agreed we would be apart until necessary, but in the first month after I arrived, she took the first job she found and moved in. Her job sucks; she barely has any time and is always stressed out. This has deeply affected our relationship.

I feel more and more like leaving, but I don't know if I should. I truly value her, and we are both responsible for the current state of this relationship. She complains that I'm not affectionate and that I never initiate sex. I have slowly started to see sex more like a chore sometimes.

I'm afraid of leaving and losing the only person who values and loves me. She brings joy and light to my days, and I hate the thought of never hugging her again. Also, I can't break up now because she doesn't know anyone in this city, and she would have nowhere to go, nor the money to go back home.

I find myself fantasizing about other women, and I keep wishing we would break up. But that's very unfair to her because she loves me so much and has sacrificed a lot.

TL;DR: I love and value my girlfriend, but our relationship has become unhealthy, my attraction is fading, and I keep wishing we would break up. I feel trapped by guilt because she depends on me emotionally and financially and has nowhere else to go.