r/TwoXChromosomes • • Mar 06 '20

[MINI FAQ] Do I have to be a woman to participate here? What about the subreddit name? What about trans women? What are the rules, anyway?

1.7k Upvotes

Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.


For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.


Wow that's awesome! How do I volunteer to join the mod team?

FAQs and the application process can be found in our wiki. We're always looking for more volunteers.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • Aug 31 '26

Women only New Subreddit Post Flairs

285 Upvotes

Hi everyone,

We're rolling out new post flairs, and a new rule to go along with them.

Something that's clear to many of our members but less clear to many of our visitors is that this is a subreddit for women's perspectives. That's been enforced in the past under rule 4 (relevance) or rule 1 (respect) depending on the context, but when the rules were originally developed Reddit was different and more explicit rules weren't needed to keep the subreddit on track. These flairs will make it easier to report, easier to moderate, and most importantly easier for people to see immediately what's expected of themselves and of others.

Rule 6: Post Flair requires everyone commenting to obey the post flair. Please help us out in enforcing this new rule by reporting using "disobeys post flair" as the reason, and not responding to any comments you think don't obey this rule.

We have three new post flairs:

Women only - for women

No cis men - for anyone who isn't a cis man

Direct personal experience only - for direct personal experience, not your experience observing others go through something

Men may continue to comment in posts without flair, but only if their comments are relelvant and respectful, and do not simply dismiss, minimize or derail the comments of others (which is aligned with how they were always permitted to participate). This may be adjusted in the future.

There were many suggestions of gender flair for users and post flairs restricting who can participate, something that other subs have used successfully but make the sub less accessible to new or less technology-literate members. For now, we are going to explore whether this lighter touch (and lighter update to our existing moderator workload and automod) shifts things in the right direction.

Expect references to the rules to be updated to include Rule 6 over the next week or two because the rules are referenced in a variety of non-linked locations right now.

We'll set up a feedback post in two weeks. Until then please hold your feedback as we try out this update to allow others develop their own perspective of whether it's helping, unless something seems broken in which case please send us a modmail.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 7m ago

When you find out your severely developmentally disabled patient had kids…

• Upvotes

She is in her 60s and apparently has 2 kids. She is severely developmentally delayed. Can’t walk, eat herself and is contracted. She was born disabled. She has no idea what is going on.

Who had sex with her? Are they in prison? Probably not! This is infuriating.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 8h ago

Went on a second date with a guy I really liked, and he secretly recorded us having sex. What the actual fuck.

834 Upvotes

honestly don’t even know how to process what happened tonight, and I think I just need to talk about it somewhere.

I went on a second date tonight with a guy I met on a dating app. He seemed really great, we were having a good time, and we ended up back at my place having consensual sex.

Then, in the middle of having sex, while he was behind me, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. This man was holding his phone sideways and recording himself having sex with me. I had absolutely no idea he was doing it. I had not consented to being recorded. I was consenting to sex, not to being filmed.

I immediately confronted him and screamed at him to get out. I made him show me that he had deleted the video, but obviously I have no way of knowing what happened to it or whether there are other copies. I called the police, and they came to my apartment and took a report. They have since left, and I’m sitting here trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened to me.

I’m genuinely traumatized by this. I keep thinking about how normal the evening felt before that moment and how quickly everything changed. I trusted this person enough to invite him into my home and be intimate with him, and I never imagined I would have to worry about something like this happening.

I don’t even know what to call what happened. Sexual violation? Nonconsensual recording? I know I didn’t consent to being filmed, but I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that someone I was willingly having sex with would do this without my knowledge.

The timing of this is also awful because I’ve already been struggling so much with work and burnout. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get my life to a more sustainable place, and now this has happened on top of everything else. I can’t even think straight right now.

I don’t know how to tell people about this. It’s such an uncomfortable, intimate thing to have to explain, and I don’t want to have to manage everyone else’s reactions while I’m trying to process my own. I know I need support, and I’m reaching out to my therapist, but I feel so overwhelmed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you process it? How did you talk about it with friends or family without feeling like you had to explain every detail? And how did you deal with the uncertainty about whether the recording was actually deleted?

I don’t need anyone to tell me what I should have done differently. I did nothing wrong by trusting someone I was dating. I just genuinely don’t know what to do with all of this right now.
What the actual fuck.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 14h ago

Judge lets ‘bright lad’ who stabbed girl 10 times avoid jail

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2.5k Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 13h ago

Pregnant again

1.0k Upvotes

Just as the title states, I(31F) am pregnant again. Wouldn't be the biggest deal but this is my third pregnancy in the last 3 years. I've been on birth control since I was 16, I've never wanted children. My partner (35M) doesn't want children. I take my birth control at 9PM every night, I work at the pharmacy so I know I'm not getting the wrong stuff or my partner is "tampering" with it or anything like that. The first one was a miscarriage, the second I got an abortion. And now here I am again. I don't know why this keeps happening. I live in Texas, my GYN doesn't even know I had an abortion because I'm terrified to tell her. I'm so nervous to tell my partner because we haven't even been having sex a lot recently so it's like we had sex twice in September and boom I'm fucking pregnant. I don't know what to do and I literally have no one I can talk to about this


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 2h ago

Why do guys lose interest after a few months? What am i doing wrong (31F)

69 Upvotes

I’m 31F and I keep running into the same pattern in relationships. I’d love an honest perspective.

For example, I’m currently dating someone. At the start, he was very into me: flirty, complimenting me, always wanting to meet up. Around the 3-4 month mark, things shifted. He got colder and stopped complimenting me. He still initiates meetups, but he’s not as excited as before, he doesn’t seem very engaged however he doesn’t end things. I end up feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort emotionally.

It’s happened more than once, so I’m wondering if I’m doing something that contributes to it. For context, I’m very pretty (I’ve been told this many times, also by strangers on the street so I’m not just saying it), I’m caring, I like giving gifts and doing thoughtful things, and I’d describe myself as funny, smart and easygoing.

Those are the traits that attract guys to me in the first place, but somehow I can’t keep them interested long term. I’m wondering if I should be harder to get, keep some distance, or even play games. Or maybe the opposite: stay the way I am and see how things go. I honestly don’t know whether I’m doing something that pushes them away.

Right now I’m with a guy I really like. I just miss how he was in the first two months, and I’d love to get that energy back, but I don’t want to push him away more.

I’ve already tried talking to him. I asked if any thing was going on in his life, and he didn’t open up and said there’s nothing. I also told him I’d noticed the shift, and he said everything was the same and didn’t engage in the conversation. He’s just passive about it.

Should I give him space, let things play out, or pull back a little myself?


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 16h ago

Natalie Portman Says She Adopted a 'Good Girl' Image To Protect Herself From Sexualization as a Child Star

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728 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 16h ago

More than half of women feel unsafe exercising alone after dark

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524 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 2m ago

Female mayors face rape threats, harm wished on their kids. 'People calling me the C-word. People sometimes threatening violence.'

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• Upvotes

Misogyny seems to come with the job if you’re a female mayor in New Jersey. And often, so do threats of violence and graphic sexual harassment. That abuse has had a chilling and destabilizing effect on the most fundamental level of government. And in the most extreme cases, it can even push community leaders out of public service, imperiling democracy in the Garden State.

Berlin Township Mayor Phyllis Magazzu has lived it. So has Penns Grove Mayor La’Daena Londo. And Jackson Mayor Jennifer Kuhn knows it all too well.

They’re just a sampling of 12 female mayors who told NJ.com they have experienced everything from subtle sexist remarks and name-calling to alarming threats of rape and violence and even wishes of harm on their children — some requiring a police response and around-the-clock vigilance.

And that doesn’t include one mayor being stalked with AirTags affixed to her car. Another who won’t attend public events without a police presence. And a third who drives a block or so to council meetings because police asked that she no longer walk from home.

“It doesn’t stop me from doing my job, but it is unnerving,” said Cranford Mayor Kathleen Prunty.

Even mayors in their 70s aren’t immune.

“I got about 6 inches of meat for her and that cease and desist,” one local man wrote in a disturbing Facebook comment referring to Magazzu.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 1d ago

"Women talk more than men" - Perception of this myth in action example number 1 million

3.2k Upvotes

Last night was the Ballon D'or ceremony which is the biggest football (soccer) awards ceremony of the year. Think the Academy Awards but for football. There are various different awards but the two 'main' ones are Men's winner and Women's winner. This year Alexia Putellas won the women's award, with Harry Kane winning the men's.

The comments online about and during the acceptance speeches are STARK. Men online complaining about Alexia's speech being "too long" , "omg she won't shut up", "Ballon D'or for talking". When Harry Kane was speaking "YES HARRYYYY" .

She spoke for 6 minutes 50 seconds in 3 different languages
He spoke for 10 minutes 45 seconds in English

Yet Alexia is the gabby one.

Just a reminder that you can be voted as being literally the best in the world at what you do, be handed a golden trophy on a stage, only for men to still complain "omg she talks too much" when you're getting your moment to speak.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 8h ago

Direct personal experience only Lessons Ive Learned as A 35 year old Woman

74 Upvotes

​

The men I've known were not all bad, but the people who hurt me were mostly men.

You will never win the contest of being the hottest woman alive, and that should be a relief. I stopped trying and started wearing what satisfies me. In my experience, most people care far less about your clothes than you think.

Beautiful women get cheated on too. I learned that it says more about the person cheating than about how hard you try. Trying harder to look a certain way never protected me.

I used to believe that being desired was something I had to earn and keep. I now see that being wanted and being valued are two different things, and I stopped confusing them.

Learn what limerence is and how to recognize it. It can sneak up on you, and I wish I had known sooner.

Good people exist. I've met a few, and they are worth far more than the ones who made me work for scraps.

Be careful with your photos. If you ever share something private, assume it could be seen by more people than you intended. I wish someone had told me that.

After my pregnancy, I learned how much hormones and exhaustion change your body and your desires. I wish I had been more prepared for how much support I would need, and I recommend having a plan that does not depend on one person.

Trying to be what someone wanted never made them love me. It only left me feeling used. I stopped chasing approval from people who were never going to give it.

I learned that some people can lie convincingly and play a long game. Trust actions over words, and give it time.

Casual encounters left me feeling empty. That might not be true for everyone, but it was true for me, and I wish I had listened to myself sooner.

Everyone who ever hit me hit me again, more than once. If someone has hurt you, believe what they show you


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 15h ago

Women only Alexander brothers sentenced to 30 years in prison for sex trafficking

201 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 8h ago

Women only got butthurt after i refused to play chess with him

57 Upvotes

there is this junior of mine who is really good at chess like really good to the point he thinks he is above everybody. last year when I asked him if we could practice together for our sports meet, I couldn't win a single match against him and when i asked him if we could play together someday even after our sports meet, he straight up ignored me

now coming back to the current timeline, he reached out to me in chess.com and said he wanted to play with me. i haven't played as much as I used to but i said yes. but he was just trying to make a fool out of me. "try to play serious for once" "i can play without my queen" "you wouldn't be able to win even if i play without my queen" like he was just blatantly disrespectfu and was just messing around with me. i couldn't stand it and asked him why he was playing with someone like me in the first time if he knew I wasn't as good as him and you know what he said "i just want to practice how to checkmate with my rook and my king while playing with you" and that was it. i didn't want to be used like a prop for someone's hobby so i didn't accept any of his challenge req after that. i played for one whole hour and ignored his lame ass. and today he removed me as his friend as his fragile ego couldn't handle it lmao. what a fcking joke.

he is lucky that I've already graduated. men needs to stop with their god complex, you're not special.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 23h ago

Is my coworker acting inappropriate

786 Upvotes

I (F21), am fresh out of university and have just started my first serious office job.
During one of my first weeks an older guy (around 50) started talking to me. I thought he was just being friendly and it was just stuff like "how's your day". He works in a different department so I only really see him in the halls/during lunch.

All was fine until one day, during lunch, it was just me and him and he started asking a bunch of personal questions, including if I live alone and where. I thought that was odd but brushed it off until he started talking about how he hates talking to people and how the room we were in is one of the only ones without cameras and how my name is pretty, and I just got such a creepy feeling. After this I started to try and keep our conversations as short as possible.

Yesterday he came into the office space where I work while I was in a meeting with headphones on and started chatting, obviously I was busy and couldn't chat, he then left.

Fast forward to this morning, as I'm walking to my office I hear someone running up behind me and feel them grab my arm. I realise it's the same guy as he walks in front of me and stands incredibly close, blocking the door to my office. He starts saying how he's sorry that I'm mad (he thinks this because I didn't chat with him during my meeting) and grabs my arm again and tries to go in for a hug??? He then asks if I want to go somewhere to eat with him during lunch and this whole time there's noone else in the office and I just can't believe this random man twice my age tried to pull me in for a hug.

I feel so unnerved by this situation and I've only been working this job for 2 months and I have no idea if I'm overreacting or what but I've been feeling unwell the whole day. Until now all my colleagues have been women my age.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, English isn't my first language and I'm still feeling unwell.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 19m ago

Women only Slidell Woman, 47, Faces Life in Prison Over Alleged Cross-State Filmed Abuse of Toddler

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• Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 22h ago

Why are men I date always mean to me?

447 Upvotes

It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I’m in a new relationship of two months and it’s happening again. He is making fun of some things I say, calling me weird/autistic, and even making fun of the food I keep in my house. This always happens to me at some point. I never make fun of them. If you don’t like me anymore just break up with me. I just cannot do this anymore. Why are they so mean?


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 3h ago

Cervical biopsy pain

11 Upvotes

For the last 5-6 years, my pap smears have been positive for the HPV strain that can be linked to cancer. As a result, I have to get annual testing, go for a colposcopy, and usually have to get a cervical biopsy as well.

I had a LLETZ procedure one year, but have not needed to any other year.

Anyway, I find the biopsies painful. I have expressed this to the doctors, and even wrote to the health minister of our state about it, and that it's ludicrous pain relief isn't offered. It was suggested to me that I should take paracetamol.

I need to know that I'm not alone here. Do others also find them painful and the doctors are all just dismissing these claims (as usual)? Or am I just particularly sensitive?


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 17h ago

Women only Just moved into new home recently. Got catcalled by the neighbor who lives behind me. Confront them or no?

103 Upvotes

I was outside trying to figure out how to turn on my water heater when I heard a faint flirtatious whistling sound. You know, the classic "woo-woo" except, they weren't good at it. I turned around to where the sound was coming from and saw the neighbor in te window quickly duck out of sight. Creeped out I started walking back inside only to hear them do it again.

I didn't get a good look at the face, they moved away too fast. They could have been a teenager or a kid but they seemed adult height judging by where they were in the window.

I've heard the voices of a woman and little girl (probably a toddler) coming from that house before.

Whatever the case it made me really uncomfortable. I'm an adult woman but I'm 4'10" and I was wearing baggy clothes, I could have easily passed as a teenager from that far away which makes it even creepier.

What would you do in this situation? Confront them or hope it doesn't happen again?

Edit: I'm doubly uncomfortable because of the way the houses sit, this neighbor has direct line of sight into my kitchen and home. Now I feel like I have to be hypervigilant and keep my curtains closed all the time. ):


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 5h ago

BF can't make me finish... How do I change that?

9 Upvotes

I (23F) and my bf (28M) have been together for a few years now and despite what the title may say, our sex life is pretty amazing. Our libidos are pretty in sync, both of us love pleasuring the other but I just can't finish during sex unless I touch myself.

He would never shame me for that and he tells me he likes to watch me when I do it, but it's been a little bit frustrating that it's the only way I can actually reach an orgasm. And even for that I have to touch myself in a very specific way.

He touches me and stimulates my clitoris and gives me oral, and both of it feels amazing, but I just can't finish from it. Do I need to "rewire" my brain to get used to diffedent stimulation?


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 21h ago

I saw a surgeon today

180 Upvotes

I was diagnosed with lupus 12 years ago. I luckily have been in drug free remission for 2 years now. I live in a blue state, but a rural part of a blue state

However, the entire time I was sick and diagnosed, doctors told me I cannot get pregnant, its a 50/50 chance that lupus will get better or it will get worse. I have a blood clotting disorder with lupus, so anytime I had surgeries, it was an extra step to do even a gallbladder surgery (for example)

When I was in the throngs of my illness, I asked for sterilization. I saw multiple doctors in my 20s, and they all told me I was too young to make such a big decision (even tho I have an incredible disease, with added complications)

Now I'm 32 years old, Ive had ovarian cysts rupture 3 times since may, and Ive had cysts monitored since February (obviously theres pain, and other symptoms to go to the doctor/er)

I went to a surgeon today- he said its ridiculous Ive had to wait until Im older to get the tubal removal surgery, especially considering but also, the FDA didnt have long term info when they green lit IUD's they didnt look past 2 years- he told me many women around my age (early 30s) have had the same side effects and its frustrating to him, because he has to follow the guidelines (which i understand) but my surgeon said "youre basically a lab rat until they have enough information to change what theyre doing"

he went through past logs with me- one said "patient <25> has 50% chance of having pregnancy to completion, with complications, does not need sterilization because of age." i was denied any kind of surgeries ive asked for- and was given the IUD.

im thankful my surgeon is on the same page as me- he said because of the current commander in chief, i have to wait at least 30 days to get my sick reproductive organs taken out, because they require the woman to understand that its a permanent decision- he said if i was a man, id probably get in tomorrow- but now i have to go back to my primary doctor (who i just saw last week to get this referral) to do a pre-op appointment before the surgery thats in December to take out my sick reproductive parts.

ETA: im in a rural part of a well known always blue state


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 1d ago

Big Tech Accused of Amplifying Online Misogyny That Puts Women Journalists at Greater Risk

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549 Upvotes

r/TwoXChromosomes • • 1d ago

BED, losing weight, and bf unimpressed

652 Upvotes

I have lost 30lbs since mid May. Starting out I was at 335lbs and now I am 305lbs. I am trying to recover from my binge eating disorder and lose weight. I am working with a psychiatrist, bariatric doctor, and therapist. I was put on Metformin and Vyvanse to help and I have learned a lot within these months. I learned a lot about portions, what real hunger is, what life is like without constantly thinking about food and eating, I learned I don't need to finish a meal and I can throw it out, I became aware of emotional eating and my triggers behind it, I even stopped myself many times before binging, and I can no longer stomach what I used to eat and how much I ate. I think these are very valuable things to know.

But throughout those months there have been relapses and setbacks. Which honestly, I don't really have hard feelings for because the situations I was being put in were not good such as moving back in with parents and a lot of family issues.

My boyfriend seems unimpressed by my weight loss and thinks I should've lost more. He says I should've went to the gym and ate healthier. That I should've been meal prepping and weighing all my food. I was already nervous before telling him because I also thought that maybe I am making too slow progress with weight loss and this made me very sad. For a lot honestly. Because I feel I have made actually decent progress in terms of this eating disorder and I'm actually really happy that I binge way less and I feel I learned a lot and it's been entirely dismissed and he probably didn't even consider it. I don't know. I just feel this sucks in a way. Because he is right, but I also think I accomplished things...


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 1d ago

First Australian charged under deepfake pornography laws avoids jail

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1.0k Upvotes

TW: Deep fake, non-consensual, minor at time of incident.

I'm lost for words. I don't know what to say. The whole thing is just disgusting from the start to the finish and what the court ended up deciding is just the cherry on top of this horrible thing.

The girl's life is ruined. She is never going to fully recover from seeing what she saw. Of what he did.

I am so mad!

Not to mention neurodiversity was used as a reason to not sentence as harsh. That hurts every neurodiverse person, being on the spectrum it makes this whole thing even worse.


r/TwoXChromosomes • • 9h ago

Direct personal experience only 'The art of choosing wisely' - Is this a quality that can be learnt?

13 Upvotes

Some time back, one of my friends/ new acquaintance in my new city told me something that I could not shake off to this day. We were having a girls' sleepover and were playing drunk Truth & Dare, and I was having a blast meeting such cool people. During one of my turns, I chose Truth, and I got asked, 'What's your biggest fear in relationships?'

Now, I had been through some gut-wrenching similar experiences of being emotionally/physically betrayed, and so I answered, 'betrayal'. To which she asked me for more details in between just the 2 of us, and I, being under the influence of alcohol and good vibes, gave a brief of my dating history. After listening to me, she kinda derisively (I might be wrong, but that's how I felt) smiled and asked, 'So, why do you always choose such men?' I started feeling very vulnerable suddenly, as I didn't have an appropriate answer to her question cause honestly, why do I not see the signs? How can I fail at this every single time? She's a few years older than me and has been in a relationship from a very young age, almost a decade now, which is impressive from my pov. She obviously knows the art of choosing wisely, and idk, maybe she was trying to make me aware of my own actions, and probably it was said in good faith, but I cannot help but shake the feeling of being uncomfortable every time I see her ever since.

To date, I regret sharing the deets with her, but at the same time I cannot help but question myself-- what if she is right and it's kinda my fault that I choose the wrong people, as it's been proved time and again. Is there a way to learn how to choose wisely?
But I still cannot entirely digest her question cause it made me feel kinda accountable for failing at relationships, and also because she closed the conversation with the age-old, 'dw tho, yk it happens when you're least expecting it' in a very dismissive way, which again, I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt as said in good faith, but most women in LTR genuinely do not understand how annoying this phrase starts to sound to someone who has been burnt one too many times!