to make a very long story short, i was seeing a guy very casually in the beginning of the summer we started as friends. he asked to be exclusive and i reluctantly agreed about a week later; i wasn’t at the place where i wanted to commit but i wasn’t ready for our time to be over.
he would ask me if i could show him more affection in public and around our friends and i agreed although i reiterated im not his girlfriend. he often asked if i had feelings for his friend of 7 yrs i said no but he felt that his friend had feelings for me.
at the start of august, we were all drinking one night at my apt (minus the guy i was seeing) and his friend ended up sleeping over which was not uncommon since we live pretty far from each other. it was 6 am and his friend came into my room and we were talking about life and romantic relationships etc. eventually he asked me if we could hook up. i said no but i let him sleep in my bed. we ended up cuddling but i pushed him away but still let him sleep next to me. i even kissed him on the cheek. maybe i liked the attention maybe i didn’t like how suffocated i felt in my then current romantic situation thing. i don’t know. i regret it everyday.
i ended up keeping this to myself for about a month until i finally told him. he confronted his friend about 3 weeks after i told him and then shortly after broke it off with me even though we were both developing strong feelings for each other. i tried to be as honest as possible painting my self in a very realistic light and i think i took accountability. we are no longer speaking and i blew up our friend group. i feel so guilty and shameful and i don’t know if this even constitutes as cheating.
how can i forgive myself for causing so much pain and inner turmoil in someone else? his biggest fear ended up becoming kind of true. i’m not a perfect person and i’ve caused a lot of pain to others in the past too. i thought i was growing but after this, i actually don’t know who i am or how ive become someone capable of doing something like this.

im a teenager who had been stugling for year it all strate when i was in 6b grade and yeah im still like that sometime getting better nd sometimes worst i quietted sh for 1 year even if sometimes i felll the urge too do it i just try to stop myself im also a really slow person when im with a lot of people and always act innetentioally dumb im ussually phisically drained even if i didnt do anything im also sometimes get mad about random things im hated and yeah i also hate everyone in my school i dobt care about them or that wath i used to say as i mwntioned earlier idk if i did or not heh but earlier at the beggining of this everything starting felling a bit lighter but yeah it all dessised to turn down i also easly get humiliated and get akwrd quieckly im not sensitive im not sure about thagt but sometime i cannot even cry i cannot even fell emphaty . i usually felll brain fogged and numb and im soo fcking slow

when im happy and try to have fun (im not making fun of anyone i woish everyine a better life) i fucking look like a dumbass an illiterate its genuinly disgust me i also cant consentrqate its so hard for me soo it takes sm time for me and i soemtime cannot even describe wathim i felling please i relly need tips and if your here to write hate comment or make fun of me please dont

Long story short I made a big awful mistake reneging on my acceptance to join my dream employer. they are my dream employer because it Is a job with the state government that would’ve provided me with job security after I survive 6 month probation. They would've given me everything I wanted like work life balance, a pension, healthcare benefits that included IVF which would help me and my partner start a family, student loan forgiveness, you name it. And the salary range potential is exponential as I move up in the role (High 6 figures).

I got a job after applying multiple times over the years with them and they were always my dream place to go. i work in a very niche industry and there’s only a few places in the area that does that and this was always my end game, where I wanted to land. ultimately I don’t care if it’s this job but I planned my whole future for working at this employer.

In a moment of panic ,bad imposter syndrome and worry for my coworkers who would be left with all my stuff to do, I decided to accept the counteroffer (which is still lower than what the dream employer offered) and while I regretted it the same weekend, I felt like changing my mind again would burn the bridge at current employer so I messed up. I worried too much about failure and burning the bridge instead of the future this job could’ve given me. Now I’ve burned the bridge at where I always wanted to work and have lost sight of everything. I’ve effectively locked myself to my current employer and at a ceiling of the salary they gave me.

This gave me awful anxiety and depression and now I am on medication to help with that. Unfortunately, I don’t like my job because WLB is non-existent and I dread going to it, and this situation only made it worst. How do I survive this feeling while coping with the loss of the career path I wanted/ dream employer I wanted to work at? how do I forgive myself for crushing my own future?

After a learning experience at the age of 16 crushed my confidence to do so, I finally worked towards learning how to drive and I got my license.

I’m continuing to strength train for over a year now as well.

I’m in college, but honestly I don’t feel engaged with what I’m learning about and it feels so tedious and isolating. I don’t like how many teachers of mine are using ChatGPT to help format their lesson and the course plan. It’s usually just subscriptions to learn how to use software and I’m craving more challenging content and subjects. I’m a Data Analytics major so go figure, but I am not sure if making the technical tools my main thing is a good choice…

I enjoy health and wellness, psychology, learning about organizations and systems… what we can do to improve these things for everyone. So any advice there is much appreciated.

Also, any good podcasts pertaining to subjects about weight loss, health, science, philosophy, creativity and film, or personal development? I’d love any and all recommendations! Audiobooks are more than welcome!

Any fun horror / thriller stories too. I’ve been cutting off social media time and I’d love anything to learn and sink my mind into.

Hello, hope everybody is having a good day.

I graduated high school class of 2020 so the COVID pandemic hit right as I was supposed to be launching into the “real world”. I spent most of my childhood pretty isolated from living what I would call a “normal life” (elementary school was spent in a big city at a school well outside my neighbourhood and high school spent dealing with an alcoholic single parent 24/7) so to put it bluntly, I’m really unequipped when it comes to most essential skills. I can’t balance a budget, can’t really keep a clean house, can’t cook to save my life, etc.

On top of all of that, I’m diagnosed ADHD and OCD which makes it harder to get down to business on improvement. The OCD especially hijacked the lockdown years as it was so severe that I couldn’t leave the house barely at all for probably two years. I retreated very deeply into the internet and video games in a way that I still struggle to break out of.

I’m about to be 25 and I finally got it together and applied to university. I wanted to wait until after restrictions lifted at least but then after that happened I was too afraid to make any substantial changes to my life and didn’t get around to it until now. I’m very excited to take this step towards self improvement finally but after I accepted my offer today, this wave of complete terror just washed over me because I realized that I don’t know if I know how to go to school anymore.

All I’ve been doing for the past 5 years is going to work, coming home and going to social events but I haven’t had any kind of high stress, high effort commitment to keep track of since genuinely high school. I’m due to start in January.

I guess I’m just wondering if anybody has any tips on how I can, for lack of a better term, get my shit together between now and then. I can barely read anymore and I don’t think I can write very well either. Terrible at keeping a schedule and cannot save money worth a damn. I really really want this to work out so I’m kind of willing to try anything :(

To put it simply, I'm struggling quite a bit at the moment. I've been feeling extremely lonely, very insecure and have been feeling hopeless about my future. I'm asking this question because I'm unsure who to ask this to. I would love to hear from people who have been through this and got better.

I've struggled with making friends and being comfortable with people for as long as I can remember. I suffer with social anxiety and when I'm in situations where I feel judged or uncomfortable my heart races, my hands panic and shake and my body tenses. My brain goes blank or I start over analysing everything going through my head. I can't look people in the eye and act natural.

The worst thing is I want to be able to connect with people. Every day I meet interesting people and wish I could go up to them and have a natural conversation. Make them laugh and make real friends. I also meet people I'm interested in and wish I could talk to them, however I freeze up. I miss out on opportunities and start to wonder why I find it so difficult to do something so natural to others.

Sometimes I just freeze up and can't say anything. Other times I say silly jokes or come off as cringy or inappropriate without meaning to. I struggle with one to one conversations and often feel childish compared to others my age. Friends often make jokes about the way I act and tell me I need to be more socially aware. This makes me doubt myself. Is it my anxiety? Am I just not very socially aware? Or is there something about the way I act that needs to change? I'm losing confidence in myself.

Since starting work this has gotten so much worse. Often when I come home from work I feel extremely sad and hate how I act around people. Are they just not the right people for me? Am I always trying to shield myself from being judged? Or is this just how my adult life is going to be? It feels like everyone else knows how to act natural and I'm struggling with something that should be easy.

I'm also struggling with money and health issues within my family. Trying to create a career for myself and figuring out who I am is extremely tiring. I'm struggling to eat and sleep properly. Even the things I normally enjoy aren't helping me. Some days I really can't picture a happy future for myself.

What worries me the most is that I could work hard, create a good career for myself and be financially successful but still be left feeling lonely as I've never learnt how to connect with people. I want close friends, to fall in love with someone I truly care about, travel the world and enjoy my life. I want to make my family happy and feel comfortable being myself around people.

I don't want to watch others have the life I want.

I'm always wondering if I can change. I know I'm young (only 22) but sometimes I feel like I'm getting left behind in this area of my life.

I was thinking of going to therapy. Someone who understands social anxiety, communication issues, low self esteem and social skills. I'm willing to work on myself but I'm tired of feeling like there is something wrong with me.

If you have been through this:

Have you ever felt physical panic when around people? Heart racing, hands shaking and brain going blank?

Have you struggled with conversations, making friends and feeling childish?

Has therapy helped? Especially CBT or social skills?

How did you learn to act naturally when talking to people?

How did you stop seeing every cringy situation as people not liking you?

If you were once lonely, had social anxiety and were super insecure how did your life look once you started to get better?

I'm not looking for someone to tell me everything will be okay. I want genuine experiences and advice. I want to feel like there is hope that things can get better.

I don't want to give up on having a happy life but I'm struggling to see how I can get there.

Thankyou for reading this.

Have you ever felt like wanting to do something, like taking action to change things, but you are so mentally low that you cannot really take any action, even if you are willing to?
I am facing this same thing. I know I need to do things, I need to take action, but I just can’t. I can’t.
I am so disturbed that I just can’t think of anything positive. I don’t know if this is normal or not. Whatsoever. But I can’t think of a way out of this. I am not taking action, I am crying. I am just not trying to get myself into one. I don’t know what is happening.
I am just lying, thinking, not doing anything, when I know I should be doing things. I am not seeing anything with a positive side. I cry over every minute problem.
I am zoning out on every topic. No fun, nothing, nothing. My skin looks dehydrated. I have lost my spark.
And the worst part is, I know I need to take action towards my problems, and I even know the solutions, yet I am not.

I'm in my 30s and constantly anxious at work. I feel like I never know enough, freeze in calls when pushed or when topics come up, and can't say no to pushy people. I'm scared that if I open up, people will see I'm not good enough.
Outside work, I second-guess every decision and judge myself against an impossible "perfect man" standard.
Some weeks I feel fine, then it all comes back. I've tried counselling, CBT and breathing exercises, but nothing stuck.
Curious to know how and get insights on what helped ?

The flair of this post should be “Seeking Hope” icl.

I am 20, and for as long as I can remember I have been depressed. I went through a year long depressive episode recently and I can feel myself slipping away again lowkey, and falling into one again. I don’t want that to happen. I cannot remember so many years of my life, mainly the last few ones because I have been so depressed I don’t know what I have done ever during those. It is truly a sickness because I feel like my brain is infected at all times and no matter how I think or what I do, it ends up winning. Right now I’d say I am glad I am aware for once because I can finally describe how I feel : my brain feels like it’s in a thick fog, I cannot think clearly, I do not have any desire to see whatever my future is. I want to live though, and that’s the constant battle in my head. I feel hopeless basically at all times but I know I want more. I want to get better. I know this is something that is going to be with me forever, that’s okay I’ve accepted it (probably), I just want to learn how to live with it. I want to get better grades again, I want to live for what I personally believe my life’s purpose is. I want to stop feeling like everything is a catastrophe, like I cannot trust anyone.

If you have also been through very dark times, and now you are in a stable situation and could even consider yourself happy : how did you do it ? What changed you once and for all? I know there isn’t one answer for everyone, but I am wondering what really helped you in your journey of getting better.

Growing up, I was in a few relationships with men, and about 3 out of 5 boyfriends have cheated or done questionable things. I also cheated on one of my boyfriends. I am now married, and my husband (who was also cheated on) and I have agreed that cheating is one of the most horrible things someone can do. Recently, my sister mentioned that she thought her husband was cheating on her, however, after investigating we found out that he wasn't. My husband recently traveled a lot for work, which I pushed him to do because it would be good for his career. Now he's traveling again in a few weeks, and for the last 3 weeks my mind has been spiraling that he might be cheating as well. I am an anxious person, and I don't want this to become a self fulfilling prophecy. My husband is a good guy, and I haven't found any evidence either. Not sure how to snap out of this. Any advice is helpful. 

The title pretty much summarizes it. When I get a mean comment online I take it to heart and it bums me out for a while. I want to change this, because I'm learning to make indie games, and I need to be strong when I get negative reviews. Thanks in advance.

I’m 24 and honestly feel lost in life. I don’t know what career path to take, what my hobbies or interests are, or what I genuinely want to do with my life.

It’s affecting my confidence, happiness and relationship with my girlfriend. I feel like I should have things figured out by now, but I don’t even know where to start.

For anyone who has been through something similar, what helped you find your direction? What advice would you give your 24 year old self?

I’d genuinely appreciate any advice or personal experiences.