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My daughter who is a teen is upset with me because I can’t tell her who her dad is. I got pregnant with her after a one night stand with someone I met at a bar back in 2012. I never got the guy’s name and even though I know what he looks like I never saw him again.

When I found out that I was pregnant I was scared to tell my parents because they’d want to know who the guy was. When I couldn’t tell them who he was they got upset but they were supportive thought out my entire pregnancy. I worked in corporate at that time and I made a good salary so finance wise I was ok, but I knew as my daughter got older she’d start asking questions about her dad’s identity.

When she was 5 I quit my job in corporate and became a small business owner. My business grew years later and I got extremely busy. My daughter would ask and ask about her dad and I’d tell her that I don’t know who he was. She actually thought that I was lying.

I have an aunt who I don’t get along with and she somehow convinced my daughter that I know who her dad was and that he left me because I was a cheater. So my daughter thinks that I’m lying to her about her dad. It wasn’t until my parents sat her down and told her the truth that had realized that I wasn’t lying. I felt ashamed but I apologized to her and told her that maybe one day she’ll find out but she shouldn’t grieve over the fact that we don’t know who he is or if he’s alive or dead.

She hates me and says that it’s all my fault, after all that I’ve done for her. Playing the role of both parents and being present in her life. I was told by my mom to get both of us (my daughter and i) into therapy or counseling to help get some of this weight lifted off our shoulders. I just wish that she’d understand that I didn’t purposely go out and got knocked up and purposely did it to forget who the guy was.

Has anyone ever went through this ordeal especially mothers? If so how did you handle this? I’m trying to let my daughter know that I love her and I’d never stop loving her and that life goes on regardless of if she has a dad or not.

Hi all. My daughter is 12 and we live in the UK. She is on the waiting list for CBT therapy in relation to social anxiety and is on the waiting list for an autism assessment. This is all for info and context in the sense that we are trying to address areas already.

My daughter is a good kid, she's bright, doesn't get into trouble and is doing well in school, my concern lies in her obsession with the lead singer of a band.

She has thousands of photos on her phone of him, all appropriate ones, and will send them to me from time to time saying "look how cute my husband is" or "isn't he so cute". This all started at the beginning of the year as what appeared to be a harmless teen crush on a band member, as we've all had at one point in our lives, and has snowballed to what it is now.

My daughter knows everything about this man and talks about him a lot, she owns all of his music, both on vinyl and CD, which me and dad encouraged as music is a massive outlet for her and we were happy she'd connected with a genre of music we always grew up loving.

Now the reason I have come to reddit is because I just don't know what to do, she spends all of her spare time holed up in her bedroom, not wanting to do anything, she has lost interest in most things and will barely leave the house unless it's for school. She came to me tonight crying, I was worried as she can be quite guarded with her emotions, although will talk to me about any problems she may have, so to see her openly crying was a shock for me. She told me, after some coaxing, that she is so upset because of the singers wife, not because she's done anything, but simply because she exists.

I have no idea how to navigate this, I am at a loss of how to help her with these emotions, feelings and the obsession.

Extra info in case it comes up in comments, she has a smartphone, yes. She does not have access to social media, she has YouTube and Whatsapp, there are no groupchats where there may be bullying occuring, she has one best friend who she video calls with a lot and who comes over to the house frequently. She has time limits on the phone and it sits on my dresser from 9pm so she can wind down without it.

EDIT: I have received some amazing advice and wonderful insights here, thank you all so much. It's been great having this be a place for people to share their teen crushes and I've had a few laughs. I'll be doing some research into hyperfixation and ruminating and bring these up at her first CBT session.

I'll also add, as it's being asked a lot, the singer is Oli Sykes from Bring Me The Horizon, I know some people were annoyed I didn't add it in the original post, but I didn't think it was all that important to the advice I was seeking.

i am literally crying in my car right now and i don't even know what to do my life feels completely over.
i got accepted into my absolute dream college a few weeks ago. it is out of state and i have been working my butt off all through high school to get into this specific program. my older sister who is 21 goes to a local community college and she has always been really bitter and weird about me moving away, yesterday i logged into my college portal to check on my housing application and it said that my admission status was withdrawn. i literally started panicking and called the admissions office. the lady on the phone told me that they received a formal email from my account last week stating that i was declining the offer because i chose a different school.

i knew for a fact i didn't send that. then i remembered that my sister knows my laptop password because we share it sometimes. i went into my sent emails and looked at the trash folder. there it was. she literally logged into my email, sent the refusal, and then deleted the sent message and the acceptance emails so i wouldn't see the notifications.

when i confronted her she didn't even deny it. she just laughed and said she did me a favor because moving out of state is stupid and our family needs to stick together. my parents are completely useless and told me that she was just acting out of love because she is going to miss me and that i should just apply to the local school instead.

the admissions office said the class is full now and there is a massive waitlist so they can't just put me back in. i feel like my own family just ruined my entire future. how do i fix this? can i get her arrested for hacking my email or something?

Long story short my gf’s iCloud got hacked by someone and they got nudes of her boobs with her face in them and posted them online. I think it was either someone she knows or a phone repair store person stole them because she had gotten her phone fixed some time before. Someone sent the pictures to me and they’ve already been viral for months on 100s of sites. Is there anything we can do at this point?

My girlfriend (29F) and I (31M) have been living together for about six months in a high-cost-of-living city. I own a paid-off car that I use mostly to commute to work a few days a week. She doesn't own a car and usually relies on public transit or rideshares.

When we first moved in, I told her she was welcome to borrow the car for big grocery runs or occasional errands. In the beginning, it worked out well—she’d use it for household trips, which benefited both of us.

However, over the last few months, her usage has escalated significantly. She now takes the car almost every weekend for personal outings (brunch, visiting friends across town, solo errands) and sometimes during the week while I’m working from home. It’s reached a point where I often have to check if my own car is available before making weekend plans, and a few times she’s taken it without letting me know beforehand.

She replaces the gas she uses, but I cover all maintenance, insurance, registration, and wear-and-tear.

The issue is that I tried to address this last night, but I think I handled it poorly. Out of frustration, I told her the car was strictly off-limits moving forward unless it was a shared household task or a genuine emergency.

She was deeply hurt and accused me of being cold and transactional. She pointed out that she uses the car for shared household errands and brought up that when she was doing better financially last year, she covered a larger share of a joint vacation without tracking costs. She feels like I’m treating her like a temporary roommate rather than a partner we’re building a future with.

I realize now that I created this problem by being too passive at first and then jumping straight to a total ban rather than setting realistic rules earlier on. At the same time, I feel taken advantage of and need my space and property respected.

How can I walk back my total ban without backing down on my need for boundaries? What’s a fair way to structure car sharing with a partner so both people feel respected?

Hi this is so embarrassing but what’s not better than asking a bunch of strangers.
I’m in my late 20s and my boyfriend is in his early 30s. We are only a few years apart and he’s always out of town due to work. Like months at a time.

Well.. he’s coming home like today after not seeing him for awhile and I just started my period. And he’s only home for a few days 🙃 I could bury myself right now. I’m super self conscious when I’m on my period like I won’t even let him touch my butt 😂

Yes we’ve done it while on my period but it’s like on the shower you know? I’m so uncomfortable with myself when I’m on my period. He doesn’t care at all. But we do things my way to keep me comfortable.

I need advice, tips idk maybe Jesus?

I don’t want to just do it in the shower after him being gone for so long but I get so embarrassed. I had a bad experience in my early 20s and my boyfriend at the time told me I was disgusting because we did it while I was on my period and of course you can only imagine what it looked like after. But being called disgusting really stuck with me.

But a girl just needs to be brave.

If you’re a guy, would you care?
Of you’re a girl, what would you do?

EDIT: Thank you for the kind replies! Pls no furry hating, that is not the intention of this post. Thank you for the help!

I (23f) have this friend (21f) and from the beginning I knew she was a furry, and I made it clear that I’m happy for her and anyway that she wants to express herself is cool with me. I truly do not judge her for being a furry, and she often brings up she’s a furry whenever I bring her around other people. I have no problem with her openly vocalizing that information, that itself doesn’t embarrass me. That doesn’t change the fact I’m personally not really into furries, it just isn’t for me, but I would never want my friend to feel bad or like she can’t talk to me about her interests. I’m sure there’s things I’m into that others would look down upon or be confused by.

Recently I invited her to the local fair with me, and she asked if we could go with her boyfriend so me and him could finally meet. I said yes, because I was genuinely happy to finally meet him. After saying yes she then springs the question on me— “he’s thinking about going in full-fursuit, but doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable” Clearly baiting me to assure them and say yes (which I didn’t do, I just left it on delivered) I wouldn’t have agreed to go in the first place if I knew him being in full-fursuit was in the equation 😭

I kind of feel furry-trapped. 1) I say no and look like a jerk 2) I say yes and have an awful night… Being cool with her being a furry is very different from going with them while they’re in full fursuit + getting stared and laughed at by a bunch of teenagers! I don’t want to be stared at all night (we live in the DEEP SOUTH)! I was just trying to have a casual fun time. Am I embarrassed by her and her man being furries? No. But I am embarrassed to be seen in a tight public setting with full-fursuits on, I’ll admit it, and I don’t think that’s a crazy thing to feel. I would never say that to them though, because that is mean.

I tried to tell them in a nice way “I don’t like a lot of intention on me, but I also want you guys to have fun and dress however you want” and it seemed like she got the point up until she said— “I totally get it, he totally gets it—He probably won’t wear it” PROBABLY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROBABLY! I will be mortified honestly. How do I make it crystal clear, in the nicest non friendship destroying way that I don’t want to be around them full-fursuit?

I (F29), and my ex is 26M. We have a 7-year-old daughter together. We haven't been together for a while, but we've always tried to do what's best for her, and he's been an important part of her life.

A few days ago, he got into a serious motorcycle accident. I got the call and went straight to the hospital. When I got there, I found out he was in really bad shape. He's currently on life support, and the doctors aren't sure if he's going to make it.

Honestly, I still haven't really processed any of this. No matter how things ended between us, I never wanted anything bad to happen to him. He's only 26, and the thought of our daughter possibly losing her father is something I can't wrap my head around.

Our daughter knows her dad was in an accident, but she doesn't understand how serious it is. She keeps asking when he's coming home, and I don't know what to tell her. I've been telling her that he's in the hospital and the doctors are helping him, because I don't want to scare her. But I also don't want to keep giving her the impression that everything is going to be okay when I honestly don't know if it will be.

I want to let her see him, but he's hooked up to machines, and I'm worried about how she'll react. She's only seven. I don't want her to be frightened or have that be the image she remembers of her dad, but I also don't want to keep her away from him if there's a chance she could see him again.

His family has been at the hospital, and I've been trying to be there as much as possible while still taking care of our daughter. It's hard because I have to keep going about my day and make sure she's okay, even though I'm scared myself.

I never thought I'd be in this position. We aren't together anymore, but he's still someone I care about, and he's the father of my child. I don't want him to die. I don't want our daughter to grow up without him, and I don't even know how I'd begin to explain something like that to her.

I feel terrible even thinking about the possibility that he might not recover, but I can't help it. The doctors haven't given us any real answers yet, and waiting without knowing what's going to happen is probably the hardest part.

Would it be better to let her visit him in the hospital, or should I wait until we know more? And how do I prepare myself for the possibility of losing him while he's still fighting for his life?

My mom has four kids. Me (16), my sister (11), brother (9) and sister (8). Our dad died two years ago from an OD. He and my mom both had the same problem. My mom is kinda sober right now. At least I think she is. She got married a few weeks ago and has been living with her husband for over a year. He has five kids and three that live with him full time and they are (8, 7 and 5). The oldest and youngest are boys and the middle is a girl.

My mom and her husband are poor and they can only afford a two bedroom apartment to rent. The second bedroom is the kids room and we're all supposed to share a bed. I was never cool with that so since we have started living together I sleep on the couch. My mom doesn't like it and she has always told me to go to my actual bed and I always refuse. When she doesn't get her way she will yell and curse at me.

CPS were called because of her yelling and they know what the living situation is but they never helped. We're still stuck in the apartment. There are some nights I sleep at a friends house (where I am right now) and she doesn't like that either but will sometimes take it over me on the couch.

I'm tired of the same shit over and over but I'm not sure if I can do anything to fix it. I don't have extended family to turn to. My friends parents don't mind a sleepover but would never agree to anything more frequent than sometimes. I'm also behind on schoolwork so I'm staying up late at my friends house to work on that and posting here for advice while I can access it.

I don't know if anyone can give me advice but I wanted to check. I have a part time job and I have my own savings that my mom can't touch since I opened my own bank account recently. But I don't make enough to emancipate myself. And I don't see us moving while I'm still under 18. Sorry this is such a rambling mess.

hi people of reddit,

today i was in class- we have a ‘wellbeing’ type class that teaches us about like risk taking, don’t do drugs kids blah blah blah, and recently we have been looking at consent and sexual assault. today in class the teacher told us he would put a series of statements on the screen and we would choose a side of the classroom depending on our agreement or lack thereof

the first statement was something along the lines of ‘if a person gets drunk and is then sexually assaulted, it is their fault’ which is obviously not true so everyone went to the side of the class meant for disagree, apart from some boys that stayed in the middle.

instead of telling them that they were wrong, and that it is not the victims fault and that PEOPLE SHOULDNT BE SEXUALLY ASSAULTING PEOPLE IN GENERAL, the teacher turned it into a classroom discussion where he was of a neutral stance and it was myself and one of my friends (both female) arguing against these boys and trying our hardest to let them know that sexual assault is never okay. reminder, the teacher didn’t do shit

i don’t think this was an appropriate lesson layout as it is not something to be discussed and the teacher should not have had a neutral stance? i feel as though this perpetuating harmful beliefs in young people, is it not?? and as a student should i go to my class teacher, year advisor, wellbeing team, deputy, principal, who do i go to????? help im so lost

I’ve been living with my boyfriend for the past three years. He’s 13 years older than me, and until recently, it was just the two of us and our dog in a small apartment with one spare bedroom.
His daughter is married and has a two-year-old daughter of her own. Before all of this, she had never visited us—not even when her father was sick. So when he told me one morning that he was picking up his daughter and granddaughter to spend the weekend, I was genuinely excited.
But when they arrived with a big cart and about six suitcases, it looked more like they were moving in than visiting. That weekend turned into weeks, then months, and now they’ve been here for almost a year. Nobody has explained how long they plan to stay.
At first, I didn’t mind. He’s her father, and I understood her staying with him. But over time, the situation has become really difficult for me.
Her daughter is very strong-willed. She cries and stomps on the floor when she doesn’t get her way, sometimes so loudly that we’ve received noise complaints from our downstairs neighbors. I know she’s only two, but I’ve never had children, and I’m finding it overwhelming to live with this every day.
I love kids, and I’m happy to babysit for a few hours when I’ve agreed to it. But his daughter will knock on my bedroom door even when I’m asleep and ask me to watch her child, saying she’ll be right back. Sometimes she doesn’t return for 12 hours. Other times, she leaves her daughter with me and shuts herself in her room for the entire day. It’s started to feel like I’m expected to be available for childcare whenever she wants.
She has also told me that my dog is causing her daughter’s eczema and allergies. Meanwhile, she doesn’t take out the trash, which fills up mostly with diapers, wash dishes, or clean up after her child. Before I cook, I ask whether she and her daughter want anything, but she often doesn’t eat what I make, and the food ends up going to waste.
The apartment has become chaotic, and I no longer feel comfortable in my own home. Her daughter has ruined my makeup and shoes, and nobody steps in to stop her or address what happened.
I’m now thinking about moving out, but I’m afraid that speaking up will make me seem mean or unwelcoming. I don’t want to come between my boyfriend and his daughter, but I also never agreed to this living arrangement or to becoming a regular babysitter.
I genuinely thought they were coming for a weekend, especially since she has a husband and a home of her own. Almost a year later, I still don’t know when—or whether—they’re leaving.
Am I being mean for feeling this way? How do I bring this up with my boyfriend and set boundaries without making it seem like I’m asking him to choose between me and his family?

ive had severe depression for over 15 years and it's only gotten worse. having adhd doesn't help either. im heavily medicated for these things but honestly to no avail.
im in desperate need of motivation to do anything other than sleep and go to work. i have no idea how to help myself. i always tell myself today is the day i get it together but i go straight to bed the moment i come home from work. i am genuinely so exhausted physically and emotionally.
i have so many piles of clothes in my bedroom that either need to be put away or washed and while ive always been very slow to take care of laundry, it's probably been over a month since ive touched these clothes. the piles visually are stressing me out to the point where i cant get myself to take care of them.
i always tell myself im going to take a shower when i wake up in the morning but i just end up sleeping till the very moment i have to leave the house for work. i at least change my clothes and underwear and put on perfume and deodorant every day, but i probably have only showered five times this month. it's never ever been this bad in my life.
please i need motivation. i dont know how to motivate myself. im so tired and my medications are doing nothing.

I only really think of this because she’s lied about things I’ve done to her physically that were specifically meant for her; about a week ago I asked if she wanted a massage(not under the pretense that it would lead to sex she had been stressed to the point of tears and thought it’d be relaxing) I prefaced the massage by telling her when something hurt to say stop or tell me and she agreed. I got to a spot on her thigh with some very light pressure and had made about three or four passes along the muscle before I looked up at her just to see her biting her lip in discomfort, I apologized and asked why she’s didn’t tell me and she kind of smiled and said “I don’t know”. And in a more sexual context 2 months ago we got into a disagreement/argument and she confessed that she didn’t enjoy when I asked to or gave her oral, she said it felt like nothing and really only did it because I liked it. To give more of a scope of we had been having sex for 9 months by that point and had been giving her head as a part of our foreplay routine, she would moan and give other physical signifiers that she was enjoying it and if I asked if she liked it she would say yes.

I (19M) have been overthinking a little about me and my gf’s (19F) sex life. As the title says I’m worried that she’s only having sex with me for my sake but can’t tell; I’ve started to think this way because she has never had an orgasm with me. I understand it’s much harder for women to have an orgasm and I also may just be unskilled at sex but the thought of her having sex for the sole reason of me liking it makes me feel dirty.

So what I would like to know is there any signs that I can look for that may show she’s not truly into our sex or if not any advice on how to go about starting a conversation without being lied to? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm getting married early next year, and my fiance has always seemed so sweet and loving, I was always happy in our relationship. However, recently, I noticed how he'd always be at the gym and was always on his phone. I thought he was cheating, but got so confused when I looked through one of his group chats.

In the chat with some of his friends, they keep discussing about a girl at the gym and there's even photos of her (from the angle, they're secretly taken). I had no idea what the fuck was going on. The stuff they talk about is honestly so stupid too, it seemed like they were keeping track of when she goes to the gym and making fun of her.

I needed time to process and I wanted to investigate, so i started to head to the gym during that time too. I went during that time for 2 weeks and that girl is almost always there. Honestly, initially I thought she might be an attention seeker of some sort, but she was just there doing her own thing, modestly clothed, doesn't even talk to people. Most importantly, it doesnt seem like she even knows my fiance's friend group at all. I really wonder what the heck is going on.

What is even more unsettling was when I realized I was stalking the girl. (I completely stopped now, I apologize for this behavior) When i think about it, isn't this harassment? I am so off put by my own behaviour and the group chat, I've bottled it up to the point where I'm grossed out at the thought of having to marry him. I don't even know how to start a conversation about this. I feel like...this is so stupid, but this type of behavior might foster something even worse in the future. I know you guys might think this is a troll post, but this very unfortunately did happen and it sucks.

Any advice on how I should start this conversation with him?

My niece is from my brother's first marriage. Her mom died when she was 8. My brother remarried when she was 10. He has three children with his second wife. My niece's mom had a collection of stuffed animals that she gave to my niece before she died. My niece treasured them and my brother had this bright idea that my niece had to give each of her half siblings one of the stuffed animals. My niece refused and after a few years of back and forth he gave them to the other kids anyway and within three months those stuffed animals were no longer in good condition.

My niece found out and every resentment she had about her dad remarrying and the existence of her half siblings was multiplied by a thousand. She told her dad she wished her half siblings were never born and she didn't even love them or consider them siblings and she told him she wished he had died instead of her mom because he wasn't good for anything and he betrayed her mom and her. She was screaming for hours according to him and that's why he asked if she could stay with me for a weekend. This was four months ago.

When it was agreed she would stay longer term I got her therapy. She was glad to have therapy. But she has said time and time again she is done with her dad and wants nothing to do with her half siblings.

My brother wants to work on reconciling and he asked me to help him with that. But I don't think I should push the issue. If I do I will alienate her from me and I'm the only family she's close to. Her mom was an only child and her grandparents are both deceased too.

But I was talking to a friend who said I should really encourage the reconciliation because she shouldn't hate her dad this much or hate her siblings for existing and to think about how sad it would be if she hates them forever for something they did as children.

I truly would like advice. I will be speaking to her therapist too. But my gut is telling me not to push it.

I’m F19. My best friend M19 is going to the navy. I literally cried when he told me he’s leaving. He even wants me to write letters to him while he’s in training. Do I tell him I really wish he was more than a friend, even tho I know I won’t get to see him at all ever? is it worth possibly ruining a friendship? (but we go to pumpkin patches and skating and other date type things. We both have a deep connection and call till 2am every night since we’ve met) should I let it lie? pray about it? selfishly tell him that I love him and maybe he’ll pick a different branch?? I’m so heartbroken.

So I 23F do not have many friends and legitimately cannot make any. Soo for some background, I went to college in a city and had a lot of friends there, as well as my best friend and she introduced me to her brother, who I am now dating(she pushed for it, I promise). After a year, I moved in with him (which is 2 hours away from where I previously was). I did not know a single person besides my bf. It’s been a year and I still don’t have any good connections to anyone

All of my coworkers have kids and families so they are always busy. I legitimately have no outside connections to anyone besides work tho. I was very active in a OW discord server for a while up until like 3 months ago. I just couldn’t handle the owner of the server. She legitimately had it out for me just because I was a female and always made me feel unwanted. I just don’t want the drama. But it took away most of my online friends. So I’m just lonely lmao.

How does one make friends? I work full time 2nd shift. I did try bumble friends but it’s ngl a bunch of college students who never actually want to meet up and hang out. Like even online, I don’t even know how to find people. I only have my bf, who is wonderful, but I am just so fucking lonely

I live in a building and have 2 parking spaces allocated to my apartment.

They both used to be occupied by me and ex husband until our split last year. Ever since then, his spot (next to mine) has been vacant.

Over the past few weeks I’ve seen the same car park in the empty spot and I’m not sure which of my neighbors it is.

On one hand, I never ever use it and don’t have visitors often to need it. But on the other hand, why are they using it without my permission?

Should I say something or just let it go since I am not using it?

My brother M11 just showed me his favorite ranter, aka Quack on tiktok. And the first video I saw was about how Quack didn't feel remorse or empathy towards people that had gotten abused, kidnapped and killed to the point that he would support and even agree with mass murderers and others just because he could and the victims didn't affect him in any way. I went into the comments and there was so many people agreeing and whilst my brother said he didn't agree with this statement he continued to defend the people saying they agreed in the comments and became really angry at me when I blocked Quack.

I don't know what to do. Like, he has always trusted me with like insane things but him watching this and defending people like this? I just... I give up. I'm seriously considering breaking his iPad and computer 'on accident' just to try to protect him because talking with him doesn't work and he couldn't care less about what others say. I've already watched him go from one of the kindest people I know to an asshole and almost a bully, I refuse to watch it go further.

I am 34F. I met the grandson in a family I spend a lot of time with. He’s 24. He asked me to hang out and I went on a couple hikes with him. He now has a huge crush on me and is asking to hang out all the time.

I have a bit of a crush on him back, but I also just went through a breakup and am feeling some rebound energy. I’m finding myself wanting to spend time with him and I get a little flustered when he’s in the room.

This would all be fine, except his family talks, and they all know some of my friends. I know it would come out to all of them if I actually kissed him or had a fling with him. I can’t see myself in a serious relationship with him at all, so it would have to be established that this is a fling only… I’d be kind of embarrassed if everyone found out I had anything with him though, especially because I know I can’t be serious with him.

Should I just cut it off now?

Thinking of popping the question. She is on board with the idea. We have known each other for 4 years almost and have always gotten along great. We aren't experiencing the typical ushy gushy honeymoon phase at all, and tend to be candid with our thoughts. We have moved in together and signed a lease together, and things are going great. What do you guys think?

My little sister (15) has seemed to start seeing a guy (17) in high school that has been accused of sexual assault. She is currently a sophomore in high school and he is a senior at the same high school. My brother (17) is also a senior and when he found out, he got really concerned for her. His friends (all girls) have told my sister that she shouldn’t be seeing him and he is not a nice guy. My other sister (20) also knows of him and says he’s bad news as well. He is known to have sexually assaulted a girl his freshman year, and and her best friend has also reached out to my sister saying that she needs to be careful.
My sister is overall very kind, but has had trouble finding friends in high school and I think he has prayed on her with that. They eat lunch every day together and he drove her home yesterday without my parents knowing. When my parents found out, they were very concerned and upset, especially with what my brother had told them. They spoke with her about it in a pretty neutral tone saying that it’s not a good idea, and she should not pursue being with him. She specifically asked if they didn’t want her talking to him at all and they said they could be friends, but no further. They didn’t want to tell her no as that might make her go for it more.
Today, my brother‘s friends saw them cuddling during lunch, and now my family is very worried. I wanted to ask for advice in the situation. Is there anything specific that we could do to prevent her for pursuing him further? What actions should we take if any?

Ok. We probably see this a lot of this kinda thing on this platform but I 32(M) have developed an attraction to a woman in my department who is married (30). It has gotten to the point where I look forward to moments where we’re in the same office. I look out for when she’s in meetings and get disappointed when she’s in one because I know she won’t suddenly appear in my office or I won’t get a chance to go and see her. I get disappointed on days she’s not there and lose all sense of motivation and spirit.

Before people say ‘hey why don’t you see if she’s into me,’ I doubt that very much. She is married and happily so and I have no reason to believe otherwise. I find myself heading to her office often for any excuse to talk to her. Our conversations often end up going pretty quickly into the deep and meaningful which I appreciate because it takes a lot of trust to do that. I asked her recently who she feels like she knows best at work to which she replied me.

Why am I attracted to her? Even though it’s morally inexcusable, I find her refreshing, energising and she always has such engaging topics to discuss. She’s often such an optimist and smiles with this breath taking smile and there’s also a cheekiness about her that tells me not to take work so seriously. She’s so much fun to have around in the department. Often times, we’re alone in the office and I never want that time to end, just the two of us conversing alone, uninterrupted by the world. But before long that time is usually cut off by some unwelcome meeting.

Is this attraction based on physical appearance? Initially no. She started working with us only recently and I didn’t really look at her twice but since we’ve been working closer I have begun to notice that I’m getting very attracted by her appearance. I find it hard not looking at her when she’s in the room and I’m pretty sure my body language (which I’ve been super self conscious about) has given away that I either have feelings or I’m interested. I’m at the point that I notice what she’s wearing and can visualise what combination of clothing she’ll be wearing that day because I know her wardrobe by now.

I suppose my main reason for wanting advice is to see how I can move past this infatuation I have with her. We work in such close proximity it’s getting harder with developing feelings and i need to cut this out. I have no intention of home wrecking, this is purely one sided and I have no intention of telling her how I feel because I feel like that would be dishonourable.