Hi, I’m new to the sub, as a foreigner myself, I speak English as a second language, and I do my best to share my journey.

I always had health issues when I was a little kid. I was raised by my grandparents; they spent lots of time taking care of me. About many years ago, my health suddenly declined, and it got way worse. At the time, my grandparents were both in a bad position, and suddenly COVID happened; I lost my grandfather that year, and my grandmother passed away a year later. During all that time, I was trying my hardest to take care of them, while my mother was busy doing night shifts to support the family.

Long story short, my body is constantly having trouble, like Eczema, cold feet, cold hands, digestion problems, headaches, body shaking for no reason and lastly, I can’t even sleep. It’s like the entire body is out of order. I went to the doctor so many times and nothing has improved; all the medications are pretty much useless at this point.

I was introduced to meditation fairly young; my mother also had trouble sleeping and meditation does help her. I wasn’t into 
meditation mainly because of the religion stuff. In the Mandarin-speaking culture like ours, meditation is from Buddhism; basically, you have to go to a chapel (more like a meeting house actually) to learn. They even have classes from the beginner to the finest. I rejected it at first because I don’t like religion, which feels like a cult. I didn’t feel comfortable at the very beginning.

Eventually, I did give it a go, because what’s more to lose at this point? At the beginning of my journey, I’m sure like many people, I didn’t feel a significant difference, but my conscience kept telling me to stick to it. I do feel like my body is slowly improving, but I can’t explain it specifically. And a year or two had passed; suddenly one day, my head was struck by a beam of light, and it was hard to describe. I constantly have this weird vibration on the top of my head; the view from the head, when my eyes are closed does seem “brighter”, if that makes sense.

Another year later, I started doing Padmasana, which is cross-legged sitting but at a more difficult angle. This might be the most difficult thing I did in my life. Looking back on it now, I have no idea why I did it. Padmasana was frustratingly difficult; it’s painful and my entire body ached. I barely walked properly for like a month(worse to come later). Once again, my conscience kept telling me to try and I never gave up once.

At the very end of that year, during the meditation, something from my lower back snapped. I had the most painful experience EVER. I literally couldn’t walk at all. It’s like the body trying to reposition from the inside; sounds insanely freaky. I happened to locate a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor and helpes me improving my health. It appears to be my “Qi”(氣) trying to go through some certain areas; that explains the reason I suffered Eczema all these years along with cold hands/feet with dripping sweat. All the moisture was stuck from the inside; it’s like the pipes got clogged, no wonder the body was out of balance.

So far, at this point of my journey, it became insanely difficult, because every time I meditate, It’s like jumping into a pool; the whole body is soaking wet. I also felt the cloud on my shoulder just vaporise. This procedure didn’t just happen for a day or two; it’s been a month! Not to mention, now and then, other areas of my body could start to ache; it’s unpredictable. From the Chinese Medicine standpoint, the meridian of the body reflects the symptoms. If the organ has problems, certain meridians could ache. This is the sort of thing I have to deal with.

So far in 2026, I'm happy to say my body is doing fine but still isn’t perfect. Right now my middle finger hurts, which reflects that the heart/neck area could possibly have issues, and it’s recovering. The beam I mentioned earlier is the key to meditation. It’s helped you solve the problem both mentally and physically. Sometimes it will hurt and get uncomfortable but you need to make a breakthrough. From my personal experience, the cloud on the shoulder is very much the remains after the transformation. It’s like ashes after the fire went out; you need to clean those up; it’s all part of the purifying. 

As I’m sharing this, I’m sure many people won't believe what I've gone through. Some people might call it superstitious, because the 
stuff I mentioned isn't mostly physical and can't be seen or reached. But what I can say is this, meditation did save my life, and I can’t truly explain how. It guided me to a better lifestyle and helped me make better decisions. It's like every time you hit an obstacle, it will guide you to a better solution. Once again, I can't explain how but it does work. I’m truly grateful I’m here right now; there was a time I honestly didn't think I would make it. I’m very likely to run out of medication and die from total exhaustion. 

Thank you for reading.🙂

I had a really strange realization today. I feel like I suddenly became more connected to my actual senses instead of constantly reacting to everything through my thoughts and fear.
I watched a horror movie, and normally I would get caught up in the fear. But this time, I noticed the sensations and atmosphere without immediately becoming afraid. It felt like I detached from the reaction and simply observed what I was experiencing.
It almost feels like I tapped back into a more natural way of sensing things—being aware of the energy/feeling of an experience without automatically becoming it.
I don’t really know what to call this or what changed. Has anyone experienced something similar?

I’m thinking about starting hour-long meditation sessions, and I’m curious what people who meditate for that long actually experience. What does it feel like as you get deeper into the session? Do you notice changes in your awareness, thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or your sense of being present? I’m also curious about what people notice outside of meditation after practicing consistently for several weeks or longer—such as changes in stress, focus, emotional reactions, sleep, or their general sense of awareness. I’m not looking for anything mystical or a guaranteed outcome—I’m just curious what the experience can realistically be like over time and what I should expect as a beginner doing longer sessions.

Im interested to hear what your personal dos and donts are for meditating? For example “stop meditating if you can’t stay awake” “never meditate laying down” “never skip a day”

I’m also interested in what you allow yourself while meditating? Are you intent on keeping your focus on one thing and not having any other thoughts or do you allow yourself to go off into thought as long as you’re aware of it? Do you allow yourself to quit a session half way though and under what circumstances?

Anything else worth sharing along these lines?

I’ve been meditating as regularly as I can for 6 months now. This is at least 20 mins every single day. With the time constraints of a busy life, this is as much as I can do some nights and that’s okay. It’s been working for me.

Over the past few months I’ve seen some massive changes in myself and I just wanted to share them with you all, I’m hoping someone that might be struggling will see this and be motivated to meditate as well.
I never used to have the motivation to go to the gym consistently but I’ve been doing it for the past 4 months. My brain works a lot quicker, I’ve noticed this more at work. I’m just faster and more accurate. I don’t get as stressed out at work as I used. I’m reading a lot faster, my understanding of concepts I previously struggled with is a lot faster too.

I’m a lot less socially anxious, I don’t take most things personally especially when I mess up at work or have a disagreement with my friends. I feel more empathetic towards people, I actively try and understand things from another persons point of view instead of making snap judgments. I’m a lot kinder to myself as well, more forgiving when I mess up and as someone who used to deal with self hatred and low self esteem I think I genuinely love myself now.

I’m a lot happier too (not all the time, I still struggle with depression, feeling directionless, wanting to self isolate). I drink way less, I don’t feel the need to drink in social situations. I used to vape, I’ve cut that out completely and I can’t say it was a struggle.

Meditation has also changed my beliefs on the nature of our reality and how things truly are. Im still working it all out but im going in the direction of non-duality right now and it just feels right in my bones. Not sure how to explain it.

I think the only down side to meditation that I’m experiencing right now is feeling more comfortable in my own company. I find I prefer being alone, reading, knitting, working out which has put a bit of a strain on my social life. (Also having friends that like to drink a lot and not enjoying drinking anymore doesn’t help)

So if you’re reading this and need a reason to just start, please do! It’s genuinely life changing.

I have been spiritual for many years and have tried to meditate throughout my journey. Meditation has always been the hardest most challenging part of my spiritual development. I am going to share something very vulnerable that I haven’t really shared before.

What is interesting, is yes, I am diagnosed with OCD, but it does not affect my life nearly as much as it did when I was a kid. I am able to brush off my intrusive thoughts and go on with my life, even during other parts of my practice like divination and spell work, and the only thing I cannot shake is intrusive thoughts during meditation and visualization. As soon as I start meditating, it starts off alright, until about one minute in, I will be hit with either violent “vision” of my greatest fears ( hurting children, animals, the people I love) or voices saying “I am (insert horrible thing)” or names of evil demons and beings that I’ve heard in random conspiracy theory / religious videos when I was younger.

No, I do not believe I am being spiritually attacked. I know I am spiritually safe. But the fear of potentially summoning or invoking the names being repeated in my head or becoming the fears I see is what causes me to feel this extreme fear in my heart and jolts me awake from my trance and unable to keep trying.

I am posting this here because I feel called to, but also to see if anyone else has ever suffered with this, and how they overcome it, and anyone’s advice if they have it.

Thank you so much. Literally wouldn’t wish this hardship on my worst enemy.

i’ve always wanted to become a less stressed, more down to earth person who kinda lets life take them as they go. And i’ve always been this super anxious, over thinker who thinks every decision matters a little too much. With picking university stress and social stress i’m super wiped and nervous all the time.

I tried mediation a few months ago but i didn’t stick to it and now i really want to, but im not sure how.

I would always sit in my bed back against my headboard and wear noise canceling headphones with nature noises in the background and try to meditate for about 5 mins.

I don’t know if that’s the best strategy and i don’t know what the most effective way is for most, like what would happen with me is if feel super stressed the entire day, and only after i meditate at night i feel relaxed, then it repeats. I want to feel calm and less stressed throughout the entire day, but i have classes and a bunch of stuff.

If someone could just give me a routine or a simple way to start and actually stick to it that would be amazing!

I have a question about the connection between musical practice and meditation. I play classical guitar and practice around two hours a day. A lot of practice (at least when I'm doing it right) is repetition and intense focus on specific movements. E.g., Repetition of a right-hand finger pattern (arpeggio) while intensely focused on tone, dynamics, etc. Or repetition of an eight-note left hand movement while intensely focused on fingertip positioning relative to the string/frets and how the hand moves from one position to another. When I am practicing particularly well, I will "fall" into a flow state and lose track of time.

When I hear people talk about meditation, it seems like there are similar mental activities happening - concentration on a focal mantra/image/thought, ideally the exclusion of extraneous elements, and achieving an altered state of consciousness. Does any of this sound legit to you? Can musical practice be a form of meditation, or is there something that makes meditation uniquely different?

Thanks in advance.

Basically what the title said. This is very weird and disturbing, I'm curious if anyone has insight on this because I really can't find anything online.

I'm still mostly a beginner when it comes to meditation.

So, I quit alcohol 60 days ago. I am also living alone for the first time in the mountains lol. It is a brutal shift and the winter is coming. I also am newly single.

I haven't had depression in years, and it showed up, rightfully so, in this moment of my life.

It's quite honestly pretty intense - overall super low mood like the floor, my belly has a pit in it and i lose my appetite. I am seeing a therapist and a naturpathic doctor (I actually am a functional medicine practitioner so I obsessed over my levels and ultimately just have low norepinephrine output and my thyroid is out of range at the moment)

Regardless, I just started to run again and move my body. I am starting to sit in meditation again, but it is VERY challenging

Sometimes sitting alone with my thoughts makes the depression worse, because the thoughts are anxious and hopeless so my body will just immediately react.

However, I "got out" of this last time via meditation lol. I ultimately surrendered deeply to the sensations and feelings and just woke up normal one day and had a solid season of normalcy.

But it is back again and idk how do that again lol so looking for advice <3 Sometimes I think I should move or be somewhere warm, but some part of me feels that is wrong and not entirely true. I tend to look at depression as a spiritual experience, I know there is some deep work I have to do with myself at this time- I tend to attach to lots of things in the world and it felt very much my calling that I needed to spend some time alone.

P.S. I am not in any danger or concern

Around 20 min into meditation, my top leg will start to go numb in my foot and up to my shin. Around 25-30min, everywhere for my foot to my knee is completely numb. There were a couple of rare instances where the numbness went away, but this is not the norm. I sit in the position pretty comfortably everywhere else. I have been meditating for about a year now, but only started sitting in full lotus two weeks ago.

Before meditating, I take a hot shower, do a pigeon stretch on each leg for 40 sec , and do the butterfly pose with two books in between my feet for 60 sec. I have read that this numbness is harmless and that you can just sit with it, but I am not sure of this. Do any of you have advice on what I should do?

i've been doing this for years. i know lots of methods during practice. but it feels so boring now. i think i need to read some material to motivate myself. what books on meditation do you guys like?

I wonder if there are any podcasts for meditation that provide space sounds in the background. I want to feel like im floating in space or even sounds like a waterfall to give you the feeling of being in open nature. I love the idea of being out in nature with the sun shining in the morning with birds chirping and would like to know if there are any meditation pocasts that can replicate that feeling. Let me know if you have heard of this or something similar :))

So I've started to meditate recently (about 10days) So I use a timer usually(20min) But one day I decided to increase that by 5mins and just before the time was completed (about 2-3mins) I felt that some kind of waves are going through me, it felt good Now i am curious, what was that? Anyone else here feels same?

When we are in deep sleep, we feel relaxed. Meditation gives that same feeling. So if it just gives relaxation why is it that Siddhartha Buddha or Buddhists give so much respect to it and make it their life to just do meditation and chase that relaxed state?

My mind has been quite restless for the past few weeks. Been mindlessly consuming a lot of deep fried unhealthy food.

Has anybody overcome this with meditation? Please share your insights. I used to be someone who was super conscious of what I consume on a daily basis.

I am also slowly starting to get out of shape. I know this can be controlled by being on a calorie deficit diet and exercise but fighting the addiction and restless thoughts is what I want to get insights from the members of this sub.

What are the most effective meditation techniques for:

__Improving Concentration

__Reducing Anxiety

__Feeling Spiritual

__Feeling Euphoria

What techniques do you use, and what are you aiming to accomplish by practicing them?

I realize that in one you are trying to relax and in the other you want to stay alert. How does this relate to your thoughts? Can your goal of gently watching them fade away be similar?

How good an idea would it be to return to anapanasati for at least a few months?

I spent 4 days or 3 nights volunteering at a local cloister in exchange for overnight accomodations. It was my first time attending a cloister and doing a retreat (completely self-lead). The abbess was kind enough to accept my request that she take my phone for the duration of my stay so that I fully focus on my time there. In the span of 4 days, I completely changed. My ADHD symptoms (I am professionally diagnosed) were reduced by at least half. I spent long periods being able to read my book and do house chores, something I always failed to do longer than 5 minutes normally. I slept deeper. My meditation sessions easily extended up to 30 minutes with ease. I had many different thoughts but was easily able to observe them without getting wrapped up in them.

I returned 2 days ago and basically am back to where I was. I was stuck scrolling on Insta and TikTok yesterday for a couple hours, I am quite impulsive again, I am delaying doing things I want to get done, and I feel a bit scattered.

It's saddening but perhaps I need to take the step and get a smaller, less attractive and functional phone that won't grab my attention. Disappointed but happy to be learning.

This post is kinda long. Sorry. Unsure how to even TL;DR this.

Let me start off by saying I 100% believe meditation will help me. I'm stressed out (non-traditional grad student in a new city), I flip back and forth re: my self-esteem and self-love, I'm so angry and scared and reactive, I struggle with a treatment-resistant mental health condition (although haven't had an episode in years now, I adhere to a strict regimen including therapy and maintenance ECT). FWIW, my sleep hygeine is excellent, I drink a shitton of water, I don't exercise enough but I'm getting better about it, I eat like absolute garbage but start seeing a nutritionist soon, I'm trying actively to expand my social life, I have hobbies but don't always engage with them as often as I'd like. My life is fine mostly, I'm content enough. I'm just so unchill and it's exhausting.

Anyway, on-and-off I try to start meditation and immediately can't handle it or get so frustrated with it. Trying to pinpoint why, here's kinda where I'm at:

Firstly, I cry like a baby when I even think about sitting down and trying to settle. I'm crying reading the damn FAQ. I HATE crying-- I never feel better afterwards, it's a waste of time, and I associate it with depressive episodes even when it's an isolated incident, and it's terrifying to consider I am a fucking slave to my mental illness. This is a bigger issue than appropriate to address here, but it's one of those immediate roadblocks.

Second, I can't get past my own hang-ups with the practice, and I find that many types of meditation bring these up. Why on earth would I want to be MORE mindful of my body and how my feelings manifest?! How on earth can I treat my thoughts like passing clouds when they are ever-present and hang over me all day long? Why would I want to be in the present moment when the present moment fucking sucks?

Lastly, and maybe most importantly, it causes me to spiral. I get frustrated with the practice WHILE I practice, then I get mad that I can't seem to do it "right", then I say there is no "right", then I want to give up because what's the fucking point, then I feel like a loser, then I notice I'm judging myself, then I feel guilty that I'm judging myself, then I try to soothe the guilt and I just feel exhausted of treating myself like a fucking baby deer, then I feel discouraged, then I feel tired of always feeling discouraged, then I remind myself it'll pass and I'll feel okay again (I KNOW this is true!! It's ALWAYS true!), then I get so so so sad that I even have to remind myself of this and never seem to learn my lesson, then I get so so sad that I'm the type of person who never seems to learn my lesson, then I want to literally end my life because why would anyone be okay with living a life like that (never seriously considering this, just a thought I have), then I feel selfish, then I accept that selfishness is arguably something everyone feels, then I feel nihilistic, then I feel exhausted. These types of cycles happen so often, and never seem to change. Of course, this is a large reason I think meditation would help me, so what the fuck.

What might be right for me (maybe yoga instead of stuff related to thoughts and processing??)? Did anyone have these issues and get over them?

Hello everyone recently I feel I have been gaining the ability to really direct my attention properly but now I am faced with a weird obstacle

Whenever I start reaching really deep levels of focus, my eyes start darting around (even when closed), my body starts subtly shaking and I even when my mind is very well focused on my mental object it starts to feel “too strong to control” or “electric?”

I try to ease my focus by slightly turning down my focus on the object and shift to a body awareness to recover but when I come back to it, I face the same problem very soon

I would really like help on it

I’m looking for practical advice on dealing with impulsive anger that happens so quickly you react before you’ve had time to think. For example, snapping at someone, raising your voice or responding angrily before you’ve even consciously registered that you’re angry.
Most advice focuses on recognising the anger, taking a breath and choosing how to respond. But what can you do when the reaction happens before you have that opportunity? Can you train yourself to interrupt these automatic responses, or develop different reactions through repeated practice?
I’m looking for specific techniques, psychological research, books or personal experiences that address this particular problem, rather than general advice about mindfulness or taking deep breaths.

Is meditation means having no thoughts and staying blank or to be able to observe every thought and not reacting on it?