I’m 14 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy. It wasn’t planned. The father is a friend who I’ve had sex with occasionally. We get along great and are compatible sexually but I don’t think we’re necessarily meant to be in a relationship.

After finding out I was pregnant, we did a lot of talking and thinking about it and decided to have the baby and co-parent. We’ve become pretty happy about it, actually. It’s definitely not how either of us envisioned becoming parents but we’ve both decided we want the baby.

We’ve told our friends and families over the past 1.5 weeks or so. Most think it’s a bad decision. Some people are supportive, but I’d say that most of the people I’m closest to, like my immediate family, aren’t quite on board with the idea yet.

My family thinks I’ll be left alone with a baby once he finds somebody he wants to settle down with. He has t really been the settling down type up to now. He’s very loyal to friends and family and those who are important to him, so I don’t question him committing to a child. He’s just not been ready to settle down with one woman for very long yet.

He and I are 5 years apart. I’ll be 39 by the time the baby is here and he’ll be 34. I think a lot of people mistake his very free spirited attitude toward life as immaturity, and he tends to sort of just jump head first into everything, is the type to say yes to things way more than no. He just does what he wants and doesn’t care so much about what others expect of him. I love that about him. I want my child to be more like that than like me. I’m somebody who always makes decisions based on what’s expected or what will cause the least amount of drama. He can be responsible. He has 2 degrees. He can be serious when he needs to be.

His family seems to think I have some sort of ulterior motive, plus why would he want to have a baby with me, a woman who is nearly 40?

We think it’ll be a good thing. Each of us have important qualities we want in another parent for a potential child. We’ve talked about it. There’s no drama between us.

We’ll continue to maintain separate homes, although he’ll stay with me for a while immediately after the baby is born so he can be fully involved.

I know it’s unconventional. I always thought I’d have a baby within a committed relationship, likely a marriage. I’ve never felt certain about having a baby with any man I’ve ever been in a real committed relationship with, but I feel good about this now.

He’s much less bothered by everyone’s opinions. Of course he’d like his family to be completely on board, but he’s not about to let their opinions change his mind.

I know having a baby is a huge decision, and I’m not pretending that being friends automatically makes us good co-parents or that this will all be easy.

I do think the lines of our relationship have started to become more blurry though. I feel
like I am sometimes thinking of him as being more than a co-parent. I’m not saying I think I’m in love with him. I mean it more like I think I’m starting to depend on him and treat him like he’s more than a friend and co-parent. We continue to have sex, more now than before. For the health and safety of the baby, we are not having sex with others during the pregnancy.

I think maybe we need to have something ground rules or an agreement on expectations of how this will all work moving forward to prevent it from getting messy. I’m finally starting to realize it might not be as simple as I thought it would be, but I also think we’re not about to back out of our decision either.

How do we create a stable co-parenting arrangement when we plan to live separately but expect to share a lot of emotional and practical responsibility?

In the last few years there are long periods of peace and quiet and then something dramatic happens, which by now is clear pattern to me... And it happened again, only this time it was very extreme as we were already planning our wedding, when to have kids, where to move next year, etc.

Recently I had my 28th birthday. I invited my gf(with whom I have been together for 10 years) to my mom's apartment to celebrate. And at first it all went well. At some point my gf stood up, said she had "problems" and that she needed to go. WE begged her to stay, but she refused. I tried to ask her multiple times what had happened, etc, but it didnt work - instead she just spoke to me with an angry tone.

Fast forward 1 week later I land in this foreign country we both live in. She meets me at the airport and tells me immediately that we aren't together anymore, that she gave her notice for her work and the apartment we live in(we have 2 separate contracts as it is divided in two) and that one month from now she is going back to our hometown to live with her parents(we were planning to move back to our hometown to live together from early 2027 - even though she claims she doesn't remember...). I can understand ending a relationship normally, but not the way she did it. I asked her for a reason, because it all started since my birthday party and why we didn't even have a conversation about this. The reason is that my mother called her a "guest" two times and that the dogs are more playful than usual when it is just me and my mom, because there is another person there. "Calling me a guest is one of the worst things she could have said about me"??? I told her that she didn't mean it this way and that I myself am a guest. She also spoke to her mom, who told her to leave her job, apartment and me out of the blue to live with her...

Since 2022 she has had these mentally unstable moments. I helped her because I knew that after that she would come back and even if she had broken up with me, I knew it wasn't really... her. And that happened after about one month. But then it happened again in 2025. I again told myself, full of hope, that this too shall pass and we will be better prepared next time. And it did... again after about one month. But now it happens again and is more extreme. I again saw the signs of very little sleep and being tired all the time. The last two days it has gotten even worse as she has started doing strange stuff like clearing the apartment from evil spirits and energies, changing stories from the past to fit her narrative. I am doing my best to help her reduce her stress so she can hopefully sleep better.

But I need advice on how to get over this. I need to take care of me. Any similar experiences you can share with me or any steps you can suggest? It hurts a lot, because of the way and why she broke up with me. I know if she approaches me again whenever she is normal it will be hard for me to say no, but I guess this will be the best for me in the long-term. I just need to accept that despite my best efforts (and I feel like I have done much more than is expected of me) it just cannot work out in the long run. My brain says that it is a cycle, which will repeat and I have already done evreything I could and need to move on.

So we have been together for 13 years, married for 8. I know relationships have ups and downs, but lately I have noticed that my love for my husband is dying and I'm not sure how to fix it...

For context: I'm diagnosed with PTSD. I was in therapy and on medication for about 5 years. I stopped both due to financial reasons, and this month marks a year without it.

I had switched from a full time job working 60 hours a week to one where my pay goes up every 3-4 months. We spoke and he went back to full time at his job. He lost of job a couple months later due to perpetual tardiness, and I started my part time jobs again in addition to my main job to keep us afloat.

While he was searching for a new job, I saw him happier because he could focus on his hobbies, saddier as he coped with alcohol, and I got to hear the empty promises of what he planned to do in the future. He did get a new job and we're financially fine.

This year, I've started an independence journey. I've been working out more, losing weight, doing things around the house without help, volunteering, etc. My personality and interests have changed significantly.

I no longer need my husband. He was so supportive during my depression cycles, but they are becoming infrequent after I cut my mother out.

He has noticed the shift from me being clingy and kinda codependent over to who I am now. He's been making snide comments here and there... I think from his insecurity.

"Who are you getting hot for?" When I go on walks without him, he asks who I'm cheating on him with. It's 15 minutes, I'm not running to a lover's house and back.

I'm trying to keep seeing him as a good partner, but everytime he says he'll do something and doesn't, I internally started noting it. From "I'll do the dishes" but he goes to the gym instead. He waits until something is unavoidable to fix it. Like our car battery needing to be replaced. He waited a month to do it. So I was carless and stuck at home. He gets my car working and breaks his car key... so we have only one car again.

It's like he doesn't trust me anymore. He doesn't like me alone since losing 30 lb.

He's gotten short tempered with my sadness spirals. When I tell him something happy, he pokes holes in it. Makes me not want to talk to him at all.

I've been trying to be happier with him, but I've been making my own snide comments about his wreckless driving and conspiracy theories.

I told him I want to go to couple's counseling because I don't feel right with him any more, and he's taking it like I'm asking to split up. How can I talk him into going to therapy with me?

I've been crying every day for weeks. I miss being close to him. Like we still have sex 3 times a week. We still take care of each other. But I feel physically empty. I feel more like a broken toy than a partner.

And i feel so guilty about this, but I truly think I'd be happier living alone in an apartment with my cats than staying married to him another 50 years...

I don’t want to ramble on, but I’m not sure how else to go about this for the reader to get the full nuances without being too specific.

Husband (36M) and I (25F) met around the time I was 22, fresh out of an abusive relationship. (Less than two weeks post breaking up/ blocking my ex). We fell in love very quickly, and got engaged and married/ lived together by the end of year 2.

The problem arises in the fact that he is repeating the same mistakes as he made with his first wife, whom he “amicably” divorced with (she sought for divorce, he did not agree.)

Except for managing our incomes/ bills, I take care of everything else.

I had a breakdown eventually, working a full time job and taking care of full grown man, and things got better.

The problem herein lies that I let it go too far, and harbor too much resentment…

He is not the man I met. Or at least, I ignored all the red flags.

My main fear is this:
I don’t love him.
Yes, he gets better, and yes, he loads the dishwasher when I am literally at my breaking point. But I still have all these feelings, and I don’t know where to put them. I feel evil, I feel like i haven’t tried hard enough. I also feel lonely, and have been carrying this burden alone. We talked about it, and the conclusion was that I should communicate more and better than I have previously. (That is true, I have held things in too long)

But how to I walk these feelings back? How do we go back??

We’ve had a dead bedroom since before we married, but got significantly worse after. I often feel unwanted. The solution for that was for me to initiate, as the one who survived an abusive relationship…

I don’t think his incompetence is malicious. I don’t think he doesn’t want me- I just think I denied him too many times in my healing that he just can’t stand to be rejected, and thus doesn’t initiate. I make him feel good when he asks, and that is the extent of our sexual relationship unless we’re both drunk.

I defend him all day, and I curse him all day too. It’s been a war I’ve been fighting with myself- and I just feel like he keeps putting the responsibility on solely me to fix it. And it’s unfair..

TL;DR: Through his severe dependence on me, I have held in resentment towards my husband, which has corroded my feelings/ our marriage. My question is: how do we fix this? Can this be fixed? Should we get counseling involved? Etc, etc.

I am rushing to write all my feelings of years down before I have to be home- so sorry about any confusion.

I am a late child of two parents who formed a relationship out of rush rather than wanting the relationship. I was born when my dad was 44 and my mom was 36. Thank god I have a brother my age who helps my mom and we can share our resentment to our parents. My mom switched countries to marry my dad and after 30 years she did not learn a language of the country she is living in My mom hasn't work a day after she got married to my dad, all finances were solved by dad.. My dad is a huge liar who has started gambling with his businesses, took out a loan against the house and lost all the money. When I was 15 we were kicked out of our home and started renting some small places and living poorly. My grandma (from mom's side) sold her expensive house and bought 2 flats for the family. Long story short my mom and grandma are also getting kicked out of their homes because of long and tiring 10 years of courts it was dedided that both flats should cover the debts my dad has. Me and my brother do not own our own places, we are renting, our family has 0 property.

I became my grandma's legal guardian in order to win some time in court and put some stress out of her. Also my grandma is considered disabled and has lots of ilnesses. And now when my mom and grandma are on the verge of getting kicked out and i need to spend time writing to legal institutions to give them them some place to live in, I need to continue dealing with lawyers, looking for rent possibilities and most likely bear some financial burden after we start renting.

Now the main twist to this story is not the financial burden or legal actions I need to take. The main twist is that I resent my mom, because she has always emotionally neglected me, she never asks any questions about me, she hates the whole world, she is very negative, she hates her own mom, she calls my grandma ugly every single day, she laughts of the way my grandma moves, she humiliates my grandma and tells that her grandkids hate her, which is obviously not true, we love our grandma with my brother. But I got tired of telling my grandma that it is not true, I got tired telling by grandma that I love her, I got tired of my grandma apologizing for calling me, I got tired of my grandma being bullied every single day, but I can not stop my mom putting blame for all the world's problems on my grandma. I can not call police on my mom and I can not use physical strength on my mom to stop my grandma of being bulied every single day.

Recently I stopped answering phone calls of my mom and grandma, I don't want to hear anything from them, just seing their names calling me makes me feel sick and weak, I can not concentrate on work and I also have worst possible relationships with people around me now. My grandma doesn't deserve to be in this position, I am ashamed of myself for turning my back on my mom and grandma, and I know that in a few days I will start making calls to lawyers and helping my family I just feel like I was put in an emotional prison where I will feel shame every single day.

My wife and I have been together for over 7 years now and just got married this past March. We are both online nerds and have a huge friend group online. Her and her friend (I will refer to her as Roni) have had a sisterly-like friendship ever since the pair have attached themselves to the characters Jinx and Vi from Arcane. The two are really close and always game together or just generally hangout.

While I was okay with this considering I have slightly different interests and always thought it was just a roleplay scenario (we all like to write online), I can't help but feel like their relationship is just a bit strange to me the more I witness it.

To give a bit of background before I move on, my wife and I are currently staying in an apartment without another married couple who took us in and are family friends of my wife for the past 10+ years. We have a spare bedroom that we were originally going to make into a guest room for family and friends that visit.

We reached out to Roni to room with us to get her away from her abusive parents and to further her career after graduating college. After she graduated, she moved in with us and it was great. But the longer she has been with us physically, it includes her often coming into my wife and I's room either to hang out (which is fine) or to cuddle my wife and sleep in our bed when I'm at my computer (which is also in our bedroom). At first I was okay with it because she had recently come from a really bad situation with her family. But it's been 5-6 months now and it just feels weird to me.

Whenever we go out, Roni's always clinging to my wife by holding her arm or just being near her, and whenever I hold my wife's hand I always get this gut feeling that people might think we're a poly couple. Roni often refers to my wife as "sis" or outright says to people that they're sisters and the two still do their roleplaying in person to each other which is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable for me, personally.

I tried to talk to my wife about it privately but she just told me that she doesn't know what else to do and that "this is how my friends and i just show we care for each other". And it makes me feel bad for thinking anything else.

I know Roni doesn't have any romantic feelings towards my wife, but it just feels weird especially when we're in public that they end up looking more like a couple and my wife and I. Not even my wife's blood sister is like this and their relationship is almost the same between Roni and her.

I'm just not sure on what to do or if I can even do anything without coming off as a jerk. :/

I’m 25F, and my boyfriend (27M) and I have been together for six years. Overall, we have a good relationship, and we don’t have many serious issues between us. However, I’ve been having a lot of anxiety about his family lately, and a recent argument has left me questioning how we move forward.

About 2.5 years ago, I had a falling-out with his sister (32F) and her husband (35M) after his graduation party.

For context, my mom is a Muslim immigrant who doesn’t condone dating. At the time, I was living with her and financially dependent on her, so I wasn’t comfortable telling her the full extent of my relationship. She had met my boyfriend and had her suspicions, but I wasn’t ready to have that conversation. My mom can also be violent, so I had legitimate reasons for being cautious. His family knew some of this.

After the graduation party, I found out that his sister had been talking about my relationship with my mom to other people who were still there. She apparently described our relationship as being like a teenager’s relationship and questioned why my boyfriend didn’t stand up to my mom.

I was embarrassed and hurt because these were people I had just met, and I felt like something very personal was being discussed behind my back. I sent his sister and her husband a long message explaining how I felt and saying I would have preferred that they speak to me directly if they had concerns.

The situation escalated into a big argument. I can admit that I was emotional and could have handled things differently. I eventually apologized for my reaction, and they apologized as well, but I never felt like the original issue was fully resolved. Their apologies seemed more focused on how I reacted than on what had upset me in the first place.
Since then, things have been civil. I’ve visited their house a couple of times, and we can be around each other without an obvious issue, but I’ve never felt completely comfortable around them again.

There have also been smaller incidents over the years that have contributed to my discomfort, including jokes about me converting to Catholicism and comments about my relationship with my mom.

One year, they told me they had gotten me a birthday gift but couldn’t find it because they were moving. They said they would give it to me once they settled in, but I never received it, despite having given them both gifts that year. I realize this is minor in the grand scheme of things, but it’s one of several interactions that have stuck with me.
Fast-forward to this past weekend. I went back to New York, and my boyfriend’s sister and her husband announced that they were pregnant. I genuinely congratulated them and was happy for them. I was trying to move forward and put the past behind us.

We have a group chat that has existed for about a year and a half. We don’t use it constantly, but we had been talking in it that weekend. I went to send a message thanking everyone for the weekend and asking whether people had received an invitation to another family member’s upcoming wedding. That’s when I realized his sister had removed me from the group chat.

When he asked her about it, she said she had removed me because they were discussing dinner plans that didn’t involve me. She also claimed she had just added me on Sunday. However, the group chat had existed since October, so I pointed that out to him. He then got upset on my behalf and told her to apologize to me or her wouldn’t speak to her.

She tried calling me, but I didn’t want to talk at that moment. It was late, I was upset, and I had studying to do. I also remembered the previous phone conversation where I felt like she and her husband had ganged up on me. I told my boyfriend I wanted to wait until I had calmed down because I didn’t want another argument.

My boyfriend told me that his sister wanted to talk right away, so I eventually joined the call even though I didn’t feel ready. They were all together in person and I was on a call as I came back home just yesterday across the country for classes I needed to attend.

The conversation lasted about an hour. Whenever I brought up something that had bothered me, I felt like it was dismissed, denied, or explained away. Her husband is a therapist, and he repeatedly told me that he felt sorry for me because what I was describing wasn’t reality. He also allegedly made hand gestures while I was speaking that made me feel like he wasn’t taking me seriously. This was according to comments I heard from my boyfriend telling him to not do that in the background of the call and him defending himself saying he “talks with his hands”.

At one point, I told him not to gaslight me. He responded that he wasn’t gaslighting me and that this was simply how he talked. I eventually made a snarky comment that I felt sorry for his patients. I recognize that this was disrespectful and didn’t help the conversation.

The argument continued to escalate, and in the middle of everything, her husband apparently put his hands on my boyfriend and told him to shut the fuck up. At one point I don’t even remember because everything was just so emotionally driven by all parties, everyone was yelling, and I eventually couldn’t make out what people were saying, so I hung up.

What has stayed with me is that throughout the entire hour-long phone call, neither his sister nor her husband apologized to me once. I left feeling like I had spent an hour explaining why I was hurt without getting anywhere.

Afterward, I texted his sister and said I was willing to continue the conversation if we could speak calmly. I explained that I was willing to believe they hadn’t intended to hurt me, but there had been a pattern of things that bothered me, and I couldn’t keep ignoring how I felt. I also said that if our relationship changed as a result, I could accept that. We could be civil without being involved in each other’s lives.
She never responded.

My boyfriend later spoke with them. He defended me and said he understood why I felt the way I did, but he also said I should have answered their calls instead of avoiding the conversation. I understand his perspective, although I had specifically told him I wasn’t ready to talk and was worried about things escalating.

Her husband apologized for putting his hands on my boyfriend, but I haven’t heard an apology for how I was treated or for the concerns I raised.
Right now, I don’t want to have a relationship with either of them. I don’t want to call his sister to reconcile, and I would prefer to go no contact personally. I don’t want another cycle of trying to explain my feelings and leaving the conversation more upset than when I started.

The difficult part is that my boyfriend is in a complicated position. His mom has passed away, his dad is getting older, and his sister is essentially his only immediate family. I know how important she is to him, and I feel terrible that this situation is hurting him.

I don’t think I can reasonably expect him to cut off his sister. However, I also don’t want him to maintain a friendship with her husband after what happened. They sometimes golf together when we’re back in New York, and the thought of that continuing bothers me.

I’m also worried about how this will affect my relationship with the extended family. I’m not married to my boyfriend yet, and I worry that his sister and her husband will share their version of events and that other relatives will see me as the girlfriend who is causing problems or trying to separate him from his family.

This has made me question what our future would look like. I’m 25, and I want to get married and have children someday. I think about holidays, birthdays, family gatherings, and whether I’ll always feel like an outsider. I imagine my future kids having an aunt and uncle with whom I have a strained or nonexistent relationship, and I wonder how that would affect our family dynamic.

Part of me thinks I could find someone whose family genuinely welcomed me and avoid this stress. Another part of me feels guilty for even thinking that way because my boyfriend hasn’t created this situation, and our relationship is otherwise good. I love him, and I believe he can support me and respect my boundaries. I don’t want him to lose his only sister, especially after losing his mom.

I also know I haven’t handled everything perfectly. I can be emotional when I’m hurt, my original message years ago was probably longer than it needed to be, and my comment about her husband’s patients was unnecessary. I’m willing to acknowledge my part, but I don’t know how to move forward when I feel like the underlying issues have never been resolved.

I’m not expecting everyone in a family to get along perfectly, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life dreading family gatherings or feeling like I have to defend myself.

I’m hoping to hear from people who have navigated difficult in-law relationships or been in a similar position.

How do you establish boundaries with a partner’s family without putting your partner in the middle? How do you handle it when you want distance from someone your partner considers immediate family? And how do you decide whether a family conflict is something you can work around long term or something that could eventually affect your relationship?

I’m trying to figure out what a healthy way forward would look like for both of us, because I love my boyfriend, but I’m struggling to picture what our future would look like with this unresolved tension.

TL;DR: My boyfriend (27M) and I (25F) have been together for six years, but I’ve had a strained relationship with his sister (32F) and her husband (35M) for about 2.5 years. After a recent disagreement about being removed from a family group chat, we had an hour-long phone call where I felt repeatedly dismissed, and neither of them apologized to me. During the argument, her husband put his hands on my boyfriend. I admittedly made a snarky comment that I could have handled better, but I left the conversation feeling like nothing was resolved. I now want to go no contact with both of them, but my boyfriend’s mom has passed away, his dad is getting older, and his sister is essentially his only immediate family. I don’t want to ask him to cut off his sister, but I also don’t want him maintaining a friendship with her husband. I love my boyfriend and our relationship is otherwise good, but I’m worried about what this means for marriage, future kids, and family gatherings. How do we navigate this without putting our relationship in the middle of a family conflict?

My wife and I have been married for four years, and we’ve been together for almost ten years in total. Before getting married, we discussed having children, and it was something we both wanted. However, now she says that she doesn’t want to have kids and that it’s her body and her choice.
I feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot and made many compromises for our relationship, and now I’m struggling to process the possibility that one of the biggest things I’ve dreamed of in life may never happen. After spending almost ten years together and building a life around our shared plans for the future, I feel lost, disappointed, and hopeless. I don’t know what to do or how to move forward, because I love her, but I also have dreams and hopes for my own future that matter to me.

Should we part our ways because it’s a deal breaker for me?

To start of: my best friend and I are long distance, a short flight away from each other.

My best friend has been together with her husband for much longer than I've known her. He's been her rock through most of her life, he's been a great and patient partner and last summer they got married.

Now, a little over a year later, the last month he's very suddenly become a completely different person.

He's become dismissive of her feelings and puts other people before her. He gets annoyed with her easily over her depression or her being burnt out from work. Almost every day do they have fights over small things that don't matter in the long run.

I don't know the details for most of the small fights, but I do know that the main issue my best friend (A) has been having is that her husband (B) has become oddly close with one of their mutual friends (C).

A originally became friends with C through a mutual hobby, in person, 4 or so months ago. Eventually B got involved in this hobby and became part of the friend group. B and C have a lot more in common than A and C; hobbies, music, style, etc. B and C a few nights ago had a hangout without A, though she was invited she did not care to join.

During this meetup there were some odd comments made by C: "I understand why people whose partners work for example at an oil rig for 6 months would go and cheat on them", as C's partner was away for work for a few weeks.

It's comments like these, and comments from B to C as well that make A uncomfortable and jealous. Comments that are borderline flirting, but could still be seen as harmless. A has made very clear to B that she's uncomfortable with it but B doesn't want to make any changes to his friendship with C.

B has commented many times he finds this jealousy of A "repulsive" during their fights and refuses to make clear boundaries in his friendship with C to help ease A's jealousy.

I believe C is the reason B's personality has changed so much over the last month. I don't want to claim he is or will cheat on my best friend, but he isn't doing anything to prove that he would never cheat on her. At the end of the day I don't understand that suddenly this new friendship of maximum 2 months is somehow more important than his marriage and relationship of 9 years.

As we're long distance best friends, what is my best course of action to take here? We talk daily, and if worst would come to worst I'd fly her out to stay with me for as long as she'd need, but right now I'm struggling watching her suffer daily in a relationship that used to be so good for her.

I've been in a training program for almost two months, and a situation with one of my female classmates is starting to get on my nerves. I'd like some outside perspectives because I don't know how to handle this without making things awkward for everyone.

When we first started, we were a pretty small group. One girl started talking to everyone, and we gradually got to know each other better. We talked about our career plans, personal goals, hobbies, and shared interests.

At some point, she asked if we could take our breaks together. I said yes because she was nice and we got along well. We started grabbing coffee, occasionally getting a beer after training, and even going for walks together on some Sundays. Sometimes I'd suggest hanging out, sometimes she would.

For context, I don't really have much of a social circle at the moment, so I was genuinely happy to meet someone I could hang out with. I thought I'd simply made a new friend.

Then a few things happened that made me wonder whether she might see our relationship differently.

One day, I noticed what seemed like suggestive looks between us in an elevator. I didn't make a move or flirt back. A few hours later, she mentioned that she had a boyfriend. Honestly, I was relieved because I had no interest in getting involved in a complicated situation.

Less than a week later, she started telling me that things weren't going well with her boyfriend and that their relationship was complicated. I told her I hoped they could work things out, then immediately changed the subject. I didn't want to become the guy she leaned on emotionally while dealing with problems in her relationship.

There was also a morning when we were having breakfast together. I was a little lost in my thoughts while she kept talking, and at one point she told me that I occupied her thoughts. I jokingly replied, "Oh really? I hope it's for positive reasons," and changed the subject.

I'm not claiming to know what she meant, but these things made me wonder whether she might be attracted to me.

So I started taking a step back. I simply wanted some personal space and the chance to get to know other people in the training program.

Except things haven't exactly worked out that way.

Whenever I want to grab coffee alone, she follows me. If I want to eat lunch by myself, she comes looking for me. If I don't immediately join her, she'll sometimes call out to me loudly in front of everyone.

And to be clear, I'm not just expecting her to read my mind. I've explicitly told her that I sometimes want to be alone and have some time to myself. Yet nothing really changes.

The most uncomfortable part is what happens when I'm talking to other classmates, especially other women. She sometimes comes over and completely takes over the conversation. She talks loudly, interrupts people, and barely gives anyone else a chance to speak.

There was even a situation where another girl sat next to us during a break, and my classmate acted as if that seat belonged to her and the other girl should move.

It's incredibly awkward. I've even started feeling like some people are avoiding us, or at least avoiding situations where we're together.

And that's exactly what bothers me. I want to get to know other people, have normal conversations, grab coffee alone when I feel like it, and enjoy my training without feeling like I'm permanently attached to the same person.

I don't hate her. I genuinely enjoyed our friendship at first, and I have no desire to embarrass her or create a conflict. But I also don't want to sacrifice my personal space just because I'm trying not to hurt someone's feelings.

How would you handle this situation?

Would you have a very direct conversation with her to clear things up once and for all, or would you set boundaries as things happen, addressing each behavior individually?

And, more importantly, how do you keep things from becoming unbearable when you still have to see this person every day during training?

I'm genuinely looking for practical advice, especially from people who've dealt with something similar. I'm also open to hearing if you think I'm handling part of this badly.

Me (30F) and my partner (29M) have been dating for about a year. In that time, it has been a stressful year on both of us and we were doing long distance from Nov until September (him living an hour away, seeing me on the weekends, extra days, then him leaving over the summer on his internship and flying up a couple of times to visit me).

The sex at first was phenomenal. He was so caring, passionate, and felt loving. Even if I talked about sex with him he would correct me that it was more love-making thsn just sex (sorry if TMI lol), clearly there was a connection. We would do some wild stuff, and he would always finish and made sure I finished quickly, too.

Since coming back home, we ended up moving in together about an hour away. Even on his couple of summer visits I noticed he either didn't want to have sex with me, or couldn't stay hard with me, and I questioned him about it. He told me many years ago he had a messed up surgery in the military near his genitals and said it 'messed him up,' which I assumed means he has ED. When we had great sex, he had cock rings and was taking these things called honey packs?

Now, I can hardly get him to kiss me. I am lucky if we have sex once a week and, if we do, he goes soft with me. But what's weird is that any time he jerks off, he can finish himself off just fine in under a minute. I am not new to sex or anything, and don't consider myself bad in bed or unsexy by any means. But I have voiced to him several times that it makes me feel less desirable knowing that I can't finish him off anymore like I used to, and he would rather jerk off than have me do anything at all. I'm just like something to look st now while he does it alone instead, which takes away all romance and connection for me. It's hard being in the middle of something that feels phenomenal to me, only to have to abruptly stop because he went soft. I feel kind of shameful, and it makes me wonder that maybe it would be different if I had more of a pornstar body, or knew how to do like hotter moves. Every time we try something new, I enjoy it, but then he goes soft again.

Are there any tips you guys can give me? Is it maybe something about my appearance, or maybe I'm not trying enough different things with him? I am always super into it, and also may think that maybe me being too into it turns him off or something. We've talked about it, but it's always the same answer. Yet I'm getting a different outcome than months ago?

Sorry if this sounds stupid. I really adore him and just want help. I might be overthinking things, but sex is a really important connection to me, and I feel less valued to him now.

EDITED TO ADD because I was embarrassed to say: I am also 14 weeks pregnant with his child. The idea of us being sexually incompatible now sounds terrifying. I would if possible rather find solutions for this.

We are both new to the team, she joined a few weeks before I did. There was no intention in my end to hit on her, I just wanted to be friendly with everyone in the workplace, it just so happened that she was one of the ones that I vibed with the best. As time progressed, I started to see her as someone that I can date and I believe the feeling is mutual (her hints aren’t that subtle lol). I won’t be staying at this job forever and neither is she, so my initial plan was to ride it out and keep a safe distance until one of us decides to leave. Once we aren’t on the same company and team anymore I’d then ask her out if I’m still interested at that point.

Lately though it feels like its been harder to keep that safe distance. I feel like she’s been crossing the line and being more than a friendly colleague and honestly I am not doing the best job of resisting (partly cz I dont rly want to). Dating in the workplace seems like a polarizing topic and I don’t want to make this a discussion of that, so I’ll just say that this is a can of worms that I do not want to open, I am not entertaining dating in the workplace. As long as we work together, we cannot be together because this is a boundary I am not comfortable crossing. I do like her and if one of us leaves then I’ll ask her out, but only till then.

How do I have this conversation with her? I do not want to hurt her feelings or sound like I’m leading her on. I feel like I have to let her know that the feeling is mutual because if not that’ll hurt her feelings (and I wont be completely honest if I keep that), but at the same time I don’t want to end up leading her on or have her hoping that it happens in the future if I tell her that the feeling is mutual.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 3. We have two boys, a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old, and lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m even still in love with him.
To start off, we are basically financially broke. He never seems to have money for gas, a car wash, or even regular car maintenance. Somehow, I always end up having to figure it out, whether that means using my credit cards or reselling things to get the money. I feel like I’m constantly trying to find ways to make things work financially, and it’s exhausting.
He also doesn’t really help much around the house. To give him credit, he does help with the kids when he’s home, but I still feel like most of the responsibility falls on me.
We haven’t slept in the same bed since our youngest was born. He has to wake up really early for work, and the baby was waking up constantly throughout the night, so I started cosleeping with both of our kids. Now, we have this whole separate sleeping arrangement, and I feel like we’ve become more distant in general.
Another thing that worries me is that I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him anymore. Honestly, I haven’t had much sexual desire at all since having my second baby. I don’t know how much of that is postpartum changes, exhaustion, having two little kids, or how I feel about our relationship. I just know that the thought of being intimate with him doesn’t appeal to me right now.
I’m currently a SAHM, but I’m in the process of applying for some really good job opportunities. Part of me feels like once I start working again, become financially independent, and have something of my own outside of motherhood, my feelings might change. But another part of me worries that I’ll become even more detached from him.
I feel like his mindset around money and life is holding me back. I want to grow, build a better future for myself and my kids, and stop constantly struggling. I don’t want to feel like I’m dragging someone along who doesn’t have the same drive or mentality that I do. I want a partner I can build a life with, not feel like I have to carry everything myself.
At the same time, we have two young children, and I don’t want to make a decision I’ll regret. I don’t know if I’m falling out of love with him, if I’m overwhelmed and exhausted from motherhood, or if I’ve just reached a point where I’m starting to see our relationship differently.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did your feelings change once you went back to work and regained some independence? Were you able to rebuild attraction and connection with your husband, or did you eventually realize the relationship had run its course?
I’m genuinely confused and looking for honest advice. I don’t want to throw away my marriage if this is something we can work through, but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship just because we have children together.

I (36/f) was in what I thought was a healthy two plus year relationship with my now ex bf (37/m), we broke up 6ish weeks ago. We discussed marriage and kids and a future life but somewhere around the 1 year mark (we lived together) it just felt like we were stuck, he never wanted to push the relationship any forward and didn't want to start to take any steps to invest in it. I gave him patience and time as he always blamed his unpredictable work life for the lack of clarity on our future. He did all the "things" in the beginning of our relationship to get me but he stopped wanting to do anything to keep me, in hindsight he wanted access to a loving good person but didn't want the responsibility of what an actual future entailed. He avoided heavy or deep conversations and when I would bring up boundaries in our relationship he would shut down and tend to want to sweep everything under the rug. He initially tried to blame our break up on "not wanting the same future anymore" but long story short, over the summer he was cheating on me- first emotionally and at the end physically with his co-worker. The co-worker knows about me and is convinced he was "unhappy" and decided to stay with him because they have "chemistry", "so much in common" and an "undeniable connection" (her words not mine). People keep saying I dodged a bullet, but it feels like I haven't. I got shot in the heart and then the back and I'm bleeding while he gets to run off into the sunset with a clean slate with someone else. The most hurtful part is that we have haven't communicated since and he didn't even fight to try and salvage our relationship. When he admitted everything to me, he said I was the healthiest relationship he ever had, that he still loved me in spite of what he did, and that he ruins every good thing in his life. He said he was ashamed and broken and I deserved a better man. He literally left the breakup talk to go over to her house and spend the night (she told me this). I cracked and looked at socials and he already hard launched her and doing all these things with her that he stopped doing for me at the end. He taking her on dates and doing things he isn't even interested in. It makes me feel like she's going to get the better man and he's learned his lesson from what he did to me. Emotionally I'm sick and can't detach from the idea that I am the wound/lesson and he gets to live happily ever after on a foundation built on my tears. Having trouble letting detaching, advice is welcomed.

TLDR: Ex bf (37/m), cheated on me (36/f) and stayed with the woman he cheated on me with. He seems like he's moved on with no consequences and I'm over here suffering and having trouble detaching. Advice is needed on how to move on.

Please, I'm at my wits end. Let me preface by saying I'm extremely grateful to live home. I have my own room. I am currently in a graduate program before applying to professional school (medical school) so I'm trying to save money for applications and expenses. This is why I'm living home. I can't move out.

This past year my uncle and his girlfriend moved states and faced financial troubles so they moved into my grandmas room. (My grandmas always lived with us, she helps because my mom is frequently sick). Thats three adults in my grandmas room with all their stuff so the room is VERY messy. They smoke cigarettes (outside only) and me and my mom both have asthma but when they come inside the smell follows them and makes downstairs unpleasant. my sister and uncle don't get along and have gotten into arguments many times.

My sister (I love my sisters but they are alot) goes through alot and drinks and is suicidal. My mom thought it would be a good idea to get her a small little dog. Not from the shelter, a $400 dog. Mind you (I am a bit annoyed and resentful for this), our phone bill was merged this year as well and our phones were off cause they didn't have the money for it. I had to cover my grandmas side of the phone bill. I don't have a job currently and the only money I have is from my refund and savings. My sister did not have her portion, but doordashes food almost everyday and just bought a designer purse.

The dog is very cute but my my already have a dog and a cat (which my other sister doesn't not adequately clean his litter box as she should). As puppies do he is messy, chews stuff and has been using the bathroom in front of my room frequently. Or before I go to class he goes in the middle of the living room and the entire downstairs smells. But my mom and sister are at work and don't clean it until they get back home. My sister knows this and tries to keep him in his cage all day every day. I was against the dog but I understand my mom thought it would be a good idea with my sisters mental health problems. But, in a house where barely anyone cleans up after themselves on top of our overcrowded home and now my 7 year old cousin is here more now (got expelled from school) and he has behavioral issues himself and is extremely disrespectful.

This environment is very anxiety inducing. I'm not happy to go home, I get anxiety from waking up in the morning to see if there's pee in front of my door or downstairs and smelling it while I pack my lunch. I understand my mom is going through alot and she genuinely tries to help. She is an amazing mother. But I believe her need to help everyone and put so much on her plate has allowed so much to fall apart. Please. I cant move out, I can't afford it. I wrote this in a state of unease so it's very haphazard.

When we first got together our sex life was incredible. Multiple days a week, sometimes multiple times a day. He always made sure to be attentive to me & was participating emotionally & physically. He would do anything & everything with me with a lot of enjoyment & enthusiasm. He wrote me poetry, complimented my looks, my personality, my actions. He treated me the way I always dreamed someone would. He was such a romantic. After about a year together I experienced a very traumatic situation that involved me being sexually assaulted. Ever since our relationship has crumbled. From him there is No more compliments, no more romance or flirting, no more staring at me with love or adoration, he stopped initiating sex entirely. The only times he does are when he’s sleepwalking, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until he wakes up & half the time then he rolls over & goes right back to sleep. When we do have sex he never gives oral anymore. I tried to ask why & he said he doesn’t like it, he has to put all his effort into not gagging. I’ve walked in on him watching porn to get off twice, when I asked him why he would do that instead of having sex with me when I’m literally right there he told me it was because he was hard & it was annoying him, he just wanted it to go away & sex was a lot of effort. I understand he’s under a lot of stress with work, finances, my health conditions but I feel like the love from him is dead & it’s crushing me. I’m disabled & can only work part time jobs at the moment but on my good days I try to get as much done at home as possible. I wash his laundry, do the dishes, clean the house, I know I don’t keep up with it as well as I need to or would like to but on the days I’m able I clean all day until I can’t anymore. Anytime I make any money I use all of it for bills or I just send it to him & let him take care of where it needs to go. I know he didn’t sign up to be a caretaker, I’m trying my best to get my health better so I can be better. I miss being loved & wanted, I miss being important & adored…I still compliment him all the time on his achievements, his looks, everything he does. He doesn’t seek out quality time. We don’t go on dates or do things together unless I ask. The only thing that seems to be routine is watching anime together while we eat. He works night shift so I wake up when he gets home just to spend time with him but it often just leads to an argument or uncomfortable atmosphere. What can I do to earn his love again? He’s the only man I’ve ever loved or dreamed of having a future or family with. Seeing his love for me go from a raging wildfire to a lukewarm coal is agonizing.

I (25F) have been with my partner (26M) for about 10 months, and things haven't been going very well lately. We haven't been very intimate, and I think part of the reason is that I'm not as physically attracted to him anymore. However, I'm not sure whether the lack of attraction is a result of the constant arguments we've been having, or whether the arguments are a symptom of deeper issues in the relationship.

I recently started a new job and met a colleague (30M) who has a very similar personality to mine. My coworkers often joke that we banter like siblings. We both know we're not interested in each other romantically for various reasons (I hate smokers, and he smokes, for one, and he also has someone he hasn't gotten over). We're both pretty immature in the sense that we enjoy the same brainrot humour, which is quite different from the rest of our team. I genuinely see him as a friend, and our interactions aren't any different from how I interact with my other friends.

About a month ago, I was between projects, and this colleague told me he missed having me on the project. I interpreted this as him missing having someone to banter with, rather than anything romantic, although I understand how it might sound to someone else.

My partner saw that message and got quite upset. He felt that colleagues shouldn't be sending each other Instagram reels or texting on Telegram outside of work. The reels were mostly brainrot-related, while our Telegram conversations were mainly about our coworkers and how some of them weren't pulling their weight. There was nothing flirtatious about the conversations from my perspective.

We argued about this a few times, and my partner told me he was losing sleep because he kept overthinking about me and my colleague. I felt that he was worrying unnecessarily, but I could also understand where his insecurity was coming from. To avoid causing further issues, I stopped responding to my colleague's reels and stopped sending him any as well, as a way of establishing some boundaries.

At the same time, my partner and I have also been arguing about how much time we spend together. I currently work two jobs, although I plan to quit one in November, and I also spend a significant amount of time on my hobby. It's something I've loved since childhood and have always wanted to pursue seriously.

My partner feels that I don't prioritise him enough. I told him that I don't rely on him to make me happy because I believe my happiness should come from within myself. I also explained that, with work and my hobby, I barely have a single day to myself, and lately, I've felt like I have to walk on eggshells when talking to him.

As bad as this might sound, I've also found myself thinking about my ex recently. I'm not sure whether it's just hormonal or whether it means something deeper. My ex was someone I genuinely saw a future with, but towards the end of that relationship, we experienced similar issues: a lack of intimacy, frequent arguments, and me not wanting to spend as much time with him. I think I might have an avoidant tendency when it comes to relationships, so I'm wondering whether I'm repeating the same pattern.

All of this has made my current relationship pretty unhappy. We have a lack of intimacy, we argue frequently, and I struggle to prioritise spending time with him. If I'm being completely honest, I've also become annoyed by the way he communicates with me sometimes, particularly when he replies passive-aggressively about how he hasn't been getting enough sleep because of his worries about me and my colleague because we're staffed on the same project team again, with the same team members. More generally, I don't enjoy hanging out with him as much as I used to.

For context, we usually meet about twice a week, and in these 10 months, we've only been on around three actual dates. I've brought up before that I feel he doesn't really plan things for us to do together, so I sometimes wonder why we need to meet as often as we do if we're not really doing anything meaningful together.

At this point, I'm struggling to figure out whether our relationship is genuinely salvageable or whether I'm simply holding on to something that no longer makes me happy.

I don't know if I'm pushing myself towards a breakup for no good reason, or if the fact that I'm constantly questioning the relationship is already telling me something. I also don't know how much of this comes down to my own avoidant tendencies and how much comes down to genuine incompatibility between us.

We're currently on a two-week break, and I'm honestly tired of having to think about all of this.

For those who have been in similar situations, how did you know whether a relationship was worth saving or whether it was time to let go? How do you distinguish between normal relationship struggles that can be worked through and a relationship that just isn't right for you anymore?

Hi!

My (33F) last serious relationship was 8 years ago and I've always been a bit particular about relationships in general. I'm someone who greatly enjoys spending time alone, doing my own things, and I can easily feel suffocated in romantic relationships.

I've had a great time being single over the last 8 years (even hook ups and casual things I didn't have anything for the last 6 years too) and focusing on myself, but recently I met someone on Hinge that made me actually want to go on a date and get to know them.

He (32M) is great. We get along really well, we have a lot of things in common, he makes me laugh, he's very sweet, etc. The problem is me!

Ever since our first date, things have progressed really well to the point where we've actually made things official. The problem is, I feel like we spend too much time together and I didn't realize we did until I was away for a long weekend and then got sick and realized I reeeally missed being alone.

Suddenly, 1 month and a half later, it was like the illusion shattered and I realized how many things I missed doing. I was barely reading (I've always read a lot), writing, not really having the time to do anything in my free time. For context I also work a lot because I'm in a senior management role, and so after work I'm either catching up on chores, seeing friends (1-2x a week) or being with my boyfriend.

To make things worse, he always wants to be with me - we had a conversation early on in our relationship where I explained I haven't dated anyone for a long time and I really enjoy my time alone, and he said he completely understood and he was the exact same, but this is not what I see. If I say we can't be together one night he'll be messaging me telling me misses me already and that he really wants to just come and see me anyway; when I was sick he kept messaging me trying to understand when I'd be feeling better so we could see each other again, which I ended up telling him was not cool because I was feeling a little overwhelmed while sick and uncomfortable and just wanting to feel better.

I realize there's something wrong with me and I plan to talk about it in my next therapy session, but the thing is, I'm not sure how to keep my relationship going until then lol sudddenly I feel so detached and I don't know why because nothing changed other than me finally getting to spend some more time alone. I like him a lot but now I barely feel like being with him, and I feel terrible about it. He likes me so much, but I worry I don't like him enough to want to actually change my habits.

I do plan on speaking to him tonight and telling him I want us to see each other less, but on the other hand all I want to do is break up.

I suppose my question is: when do you know it's time to break up vs keeping a relationship going and potentially making things worse later on?

Thank you in advance.

Hi, I live in a house with three guy roommates, and a few houses down, a group of girls live, including a girl I've gotten close with. We all hang out in a big friend group.

I’ve started to catch feelings for this girl over the last week and a half or so. Last weekend we went out and got drunk, flirted a lot, holding hands, grabbing arms. A couple days later we were studying together and she asked if I remembered that night, and we both agreed we had fun. Next day (today), I asked if she wanted to grab food after class, she said yes.

Right before dinner, we talked in the car. She said we should address this, and I basically said, "Yes, this is a date." Don’t know why I was so upfront about that but anyways, we both agreed we were nervous because we don't want to make things messy with our roommates and agreed to just see where it goes for now.

She asked how long I'd had feelings for her. For some dumb reason, I panicked and lied, saying I'd liked her for a few weeks/months, assuming that she had like me longer, and I didn’t want to make her feel weird.

Her reaction instantly made me regret it. She said, "Oh, that makes me a little scared, because I only realized I liked you last week." She explained she was worried about the pressure.

I tried to backtrack and truthfully said there's zero pressure, and she agreed we're on the same page, but the rest of dinner I couldn’t help but feel weird, like there was this pressure we were both feeling. It ended well, we started to open back up as time went on. I really think we were both just nervous but I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

I want to talk to her, clear up to my nervous panic, and tell her the truth (that I started catching feelings about a week and a half ago, just like her) so there's no weird pressure. I truly didn’t mean to be all intense about it and just completely fumbled that conversation.

How do I fix this without making it a huge deal? Or is this even worth clearing up in the first place?

So me and my partner have been together for about 5 years. I live abroad (in his home country) and he was working when I met him. As soon as we started dating, he decided to quit working to study for a government exam and I didn’t care. But then he moved in with me a year later and I realized that he wasn’t studying at all and would just waste his time all day. I waited for about 1 year and gave him an ultimatum if he wanted to waste his time i wouldn’t continue staying with him. Meanwhile i was taking care of both of us (i had school during the day and would work part time all night and would sleep only 3/4 hours) a day. So he quit studying and got a job where he worked for a year and half and quit (2025 august) because they weren’t increasing his pay. In 2025 November he got another job and quit it in January because the company was making him overwork. Then he got another job in April and quit it again in September because his boss was a bully. I am so exhausted of him quitting his jobs constantly. I feel like i have no financial stability and as a foreigner in his country its even harder for me to get a job. I just graduated and will start job hunting but i need advice on what to do in this situation? I dont want to constantly nag at him but i also am very anxious about finances in general and this is making it worse. Its making me feel like I cannot ever rely on my partner and I dont want to live with somebody like that. But I also need to know if im being too judgemental? Idk pls help me out. Give me advice

Hey guys, I recently started dating a girl I've known for quite some time. I always had a bit of a crush on her, but we never really talked much, we'd just run into each other from time to time. Somehow things finally worked out, and we found out we'd both been looking at each other for years but neither of us ever made a move. I ended my previous relationship about two months ago (and honestly, I'm glad I did), and she'd been single for quite a while. From there things moved pretty naturally. A few dates later I ended up at her place, we had a great time, she's lovely, and overall everything between us feels really good. Now here's the problem. The first time we got intimate, things didn't go quite as expected. I lost my erection while she was giving me head. We were both nervous, it was our first time together, so I thought it was just a hiccup. Everything ended well, we both had a great time, and I didn't think much of it. The next time we tried having sex, I lost it again. The third time I came way too quickly. Since then it's been kind of a mix between the two. Sometimes I struggle to stay hard, sometimes I finish much sooner than I'd like. What's weird is that this has never really been an issue for me before. Sure, everyone has an off day once in a while, but never regularly. In previous relationships I could last forever if I wanted to, and I could stay hard even if the sex wasn't exactly mind-blowing. She's beautiful, I get excited just thinking about her, I love touching her, being around her, all of it. But as soon as we get down to business my body suddenly decides to do its own thing. She's taking it really well so far, which honestly makes me feel even worse because I feel like I'm letting her down. I always make sure she enjoys herself and she's satisfied at the end, but I'd really like to get my confidence and performance back. The only thing I can think of is that sometimes my mind seems to wander during sex. Not in the sense that I'm bored, quite the opposite. I start thinking stuff like "don't lose it this time" or "don't finish too quickly" or just something that happened during the day/random stuff, "why the hell is there a spot on the ceiling" and "why are my toes cold." Has anyone experienced something similar, especially when starting a relationship with someone you genuinely really liked? I'd appreciate any advice.

I don't drink alcohol. No medications. I'm in decent shape and don't have any known health problems.

TLDR: My thing had no problem working in mediocre situations, but now that I've met an amazing woman it suddenly forgets its job. 30M, healthy, no sex issues outside of sex with her. Anyone been there?

I (28F) have recently started dating my bf (28M). We've been together for just 3 months, but he's my first serious boyfriend, and it's the first time I fall in love and actually like someone a lot so all of this is new to me.

I have realized that I am a bit too obsessed with him in the sense that I think about him allll day and am always waiting for his message (we are long distance so we can't see each other much at all). Ofc I want to think about him, I love him, but I feel like I should decenter him and not be obsessed thinking when he's gonna reply to my messages all day!!! I have my hobbies, my job, I live alone so I take care of the house by myself - I'm busy, but idk how I can do this?