Today is our 8 year anniversary, we got each other gifts around 2 weeks ago and already gave them to each other. I got him two new pairs of shoes and he got me a ring I wanted. Let me preface by saying I am totally cool with that, I love my ring and I’m happy with that being my only real gift.
Because we already exchanged gifts, I felt like I still needed something to give him on the day of so I got him a card and made him this cute picture frame with a bunch of pictures of us over the years in it. He loved it.
It wasn’t much, we typically don’t go all out or anything. So I expected to at least come home to a card, flowers, some kind of candy or sweet treat, something. Anything.
I came home to nothing. Idk, I’m just a little disappointed? I don’t have super high expectations, but I still figured he would come home with something. I’m sure in his mind, we already got gifts done and out of the way so he didn’t feel he needed to do anything else.
Am I being realistic, or am I being high maintenance with high expectations? I don’t need a bunch of gifts or anything, I guess I just wanted to feel loved and appreciated, like I attempted to do for him with the picture frame.

This feels dumb. I’m crying alone in bed as I write this. I’m going to try to make it as SFW as possible so I don’t break any rules.

My partner and I of nearly 10 years have recently started trying for a baby and, to be blunt, it’s been sending my horemoans into over drive. All I want is to have sex with my partner and I want it to be loving sex that takes it’s time. But every time we have sex it’s quick and really only takes care of him. We’ve had issue’s like this before and i’ll have to, like, remind him that I’d like to get off every now and then too. Normally after we have that conversation he goes back to reciprocating.

Lately? It just won’t happen.

I’ve tried talking with hjm and he says “oh sorry i’ll be better” but then he isn’t. He doesnt try. And part of me is really worried that he’s not attracted to me anymore. I work from home so i’m in my sweats a lot, i’ve always been on the bigger side ( 5’4 and 210). I think the worst part is I just turned 29 and i feel like i’m starting to look old.

He also isn’t very affectionate outside of bed. I initiate kisses, I have to go to him if I want a hug or a kiss, and forget about cuddling.

I don’t even know why i’m writing this. It’s almost impossible for anyone to give me solid advice because there could be a plethora of reasons, but i’m kind of desperate. I miss feeling loved - and if we’re already experiencing bed death now, what’s gonna happen when we have a baby?

so for some context, my uncle is a wine maker and his wine is really expensive. even though he's my uncle it's super rare for me to get a case of wine from him, so when i graduated college in May I got a case of wine.

in May there were 6 bottles of wine leftover from when my mom came, and in August on our anniversary there were 4.

yesterday i went to lay down on the couch while they went to their treatment meeting and i noticed an empty bottle of wine by the couch, as if it had just evaporated. like it was fully put together except the cork was the wrong way.

i genuinely have no idea how to react to this, like they have taken alcohol from me before, but they drank at least $1k worth of booze. idk i mainly just want to find a way to tell them this in a way that makes it clear I'm not mad or going to leave, i just feel really disappointed in them and upset

I’m 14 weeks pregnant. This is my first pregnancy. It wasn’t planned. The father is a friend who I’ve had sex with occasionally. We get along great and are compatible sexually but I don’t think we’re necessarily meant to be in a relationship.

After finding out I was pregnant, we did a lot of talking and thinking about it and decided to have the baby and co-parent. We’ve become pretty happy about it, actually. It’s definitely not how either of us envisioned becoming parents but we’ve both decided we want the baby.

We’ve told our friends and families over the past 1.5 weeks or so. Most think it’s a bad decision. Some people are supportive, but I’d say that most of the people I’m closest to, like my immediate family, aren’t quite on board with the idea yet.

My family thinks I’ll be left alone with a baby once he finds somebody he wants to settle down with. He has t really been the settling down type up to now. He’s very loyal to friends and family and those who are important to him, so I don’t question him committing to a child. He’s just not been ready to settle down with one woman for very long yet.

He and I are 5 years apart. I’ll be 39 by the time the baby is here and he’ll be 34. I think a lot of people mistake his very free spirited attitude toward life as immaturity, and he tends to sort of just jump head first into everything, is the type to say yes to things way more than no. He just does what he wants and doesn’t care so much about what others expect of him. I love that about him. I want my child to be more like that than like me. I’m somebody who always makes decisions based on what’s expected or what will cause the least amount of drama. He can be responsible. He has 2 degrees. He can be serious when he needs to be.

His family seems to think I have some sort of ulterior motive, plus why would he want to have a baby with me, a woman who is nearly 40?

We think it’ll be a good thing. Each of us have important qualities we want in another parent for a potential child. We’ve talked about it. There’s no drama between us.

We’ll continue to maintain separate homes, although he’ll stay with me for a while immediately after the baby is born so he can be fully involved.

I know it’s unconventional. I always thought I’d have a baby within a committed relationship, likely a marriage. I’ve never felt certain about having a baby with any man I’ve ever been in a real committed relationship with, but I feel good about this now.

He’s much less bothered by everyone’s opinions. Of course he’d like his family to be completely on board, but he’s not about to let their opinions change his mind.

I know having a baby is a huge decision, and I’m not pretending that being friends automatically makes us good co-parents or that this will all be easy.

I do think the lines of our relationship have started to become more blurry though. I feel
like I am sometimes thinking of him as being more than a co-parent. I’m not saying I think I’m in love with him. I mean it more like I think I’m starting to depend on him and treat him like he’s more than a friend and co-parent. We continue to have sex, more now than before. For the health and safety of the baby, we are not having sex with others during the pregnancy.

I think maybe we need to have something ground rules or an agreement on expectations of how this will all work moving forward to prevent it from getting messy. I’m finally starting to realize it might not be as simple as I thought it would be, but I also think we’re not about to back out of our decision either.

How do we create a stable co-parenting arrangement when we plan to live separately but expect to share a lot of emotional and practical responsibility?

My wife and I have been married for four years, and we’ve been together for almost ten years in total. Before getting married, we discussed having children, and it was something we both wanted. However, now she says that she doesn’t want to have kids and that it’s her body and her choice.
I feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot and made many compromises for our relationship, and now I’m struggling to process the possibility that one of the biggest things I’ve dreamed of in life may never happen. After spending almost ten years together and building a life around our shared plans for the future, I feel lost, disappointed, and hopeless. I don’t know what to do or how to move forward, because I love her, but I also have dreams and hopes for my own future that matter to me.

Should we part our ways because it’s a deal breaker for me?

I don’t want to ramble on, but I’m not sure how else to go about this for the reader to get the full nuances without being too specific.

Husband (36M) and I (25F) met around the time I was 22, fresh out of an abusive relationship. (Less than two weeks post breaking up/ blocking my ex). We fell in love very quickly, and got engaged and married/ lived together by the end of year 2.

The problem arises in the fact that he is repeating the same mistakes as he made with his first wife, whom he “amicably” divorced with (she sought for divorce, he did not agree.)

Except for managing our incomes/ bills, I take care of everything else.

I had a breakdown eventually, working a full time job and taking care of full grown man, and things got better.

The problem herein lies that I let it go too far, and harbor too much resentment…

He is not the man I met. Or at least, I ignored all the red flags.

My main fear is this:
I don’t love him.
Yes, he gets better, and yes, he loads the dishwasher when I am literally at my breaking point. But I still have all these feelings, and I don’t know where to put them. I feel evil, I feel like i haven’t tried hard enough. I also feel lonely, and have been carrying this burden alone. We talked about it, and the conclusion was that I should communicate more and better than I have previously. (That is true, I have held things in too long)

But how to I walk these feelings back? How do we go back??

We’ve had a dead bedroom since before we married, but got significantly worse after. I often feel unwanted. The solution for that was for me to initiate, as the one who survived an abusive relationship…

I don’t think his incompetence is malicious. I don’t think he doesn’t want me- I just think I denied him too many times in my healing that he just can’t stand to be rejected, and thus doesn’t initiate. I make him feel good when he asks, and that is the extent of our sexual relationship unless we’re both drunk.

I defend him all day, and I curse him all day too. It’s been a war I’ve been fighting with myself- and I just feel like he keeps putting the responsibility on solely me to fix it. And it’s unfair..

TL;DR: Through his severe dependence on me, I have held in resentment towards my husband, which has corroded my feelings/ our marriage. My question is: how do we fix this? Can this be fixed? Should we get counseling involved? Etc, etc.

I am rushing to write all my feelings of years down before I have to be home- so sorry about any confusion.

My boyfriend of 7 years (25M) has backed out for the third separate time on moving in together with me (25F) and I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

We're both university students and actually currently live together in dorms, we live with 2 other roomates and overall things go great. We both enjoy it but are also kinda over sharing a space when we could find somewhere for the two of us. The problem however is that we only live together 8 months out of the year and the other 4 when not in uni are spent with our respective families.

Spending the 4 months apart sucks and it gets messy and we usually fight WAY more when were apart due to external familial reasons and contrainsts on not being able to see each other much. In my mind it would be nicer to move out together and live together full time in our own place (not dorms) while attending school. Theres some financial questions about it that would need to be sorted out but also its totally possible we could end up saving money compared to the cost of dorms.

The problem is that my Bf keeps saying he wants to live together but once i actually bring it up and try to plan with him he always back tracks saying he isnt ready and wants to spend more time with his family and take care of his father. His father isnt sick or anything, he's retired and lives alone so my bf worries about him and ends up refusing to commit to any concrete plans. Last summer he had promised was the last summer at home and we could then look at living somewhere together.

Ive been talking about it tons especially since september and now hes backed out again, i feel beyond heart broken and i dont want to make an ultimatum but i also graduate next year and this is starting to feel like a deal breaker to me despite how hard i try not to make it that. Im afraid he'll just want to live with his dad until he passed away which will be 30+ years and i cant do that. I love my boyfriend more than anything and feel so sad that he cant commit to me this way, i dont know what to do anymore.

Do i just wait it out feeling like theres a looming expiration date above our relationship while trying to salvage what i can and enjoy the time i do have with him? Ive told him it isnt fair if i was to make him choose and dont want to issue an ultimatum but im also feeling like maybe this is the end of our relationship and i really dont want to break up, weve been together for so long i cant imagine my life without him.

TL;DR : Boyfriend (25M) wont move in with me over not being willing to move out of his childhood home for the 4 months out of 12 in a year and I'm feeling like im at my breaking point? How can i salvage the relationship

I recently ended a nine-year relationship. The last year had been really difficult, and although I tried everything I could to make things work, I eventually reached a point where I had lost hope and knew I needed to move on. I found it really hard to let go, but I feel like I had already grieved the relationship while I was still in it, and my therapist agrees.

It's only been four days since the breakup, so I'm obviously sad, but I also feel relieved. The situation had become painful for both of us, and we seemed to be stuck in a place where nothing was changing and we weren't moving forward in any direction. As much as it hurts to end a relationship after so long, I think part of me is relieved that we're no longer stuck in that cycle.

We got together when I was 19, so I've never really experienced adult life outside of a relationship. I've never been with anyone else or had sex with anyone else, and now I'm curious about exploring that side of life.

I'm not necessarily looking for another relationship right now. I think I'd like to meet new people, experience new things, and figure out what I like and want outside of the relationship I've been in for so long. But I honestly have no idea where to start or how to navigate dating and casual relationships, especially after being with the same person for so many years.

I'd love to hear from people who've been in a similar situation. How did you approach dating or exploring your sexuality after a long-term relationship? Did you find it better to take some time for yourself first, or did you just put yourself out there and see what happened? I know there's no right or wrong way to do this, but I'd really appreciate hearing about other people's experiences and advice.

We started seeing each other almost a month ago and really hit it off. We used to see each other 2 times a week until a couple of weeks go when he started to make excuses about not seeing me. Today he confessed to me that he has lost his job and he saw it coming but did not tell me because he felt ashamed about it. He said that finding a job is his priority right now and he does not know when we will see each other again. He is still very interested in being with me but just does not know when he will see me in person again. We still text for hours. I just do not understand what him losing his job has to do with us meeting in person. Half of my friends feel like I am being strung along and other half feels like he just genuinely is ashamed.

He also told me he feels shame around not being a provider. But on my end I have made sure to tell him that his job/financial status does not matter to me and I rather prefer us hanging out at home which he finds assuring but he has still not given me a concrete answer on when we will see each other the first time. Why does he not want to see me in person?

This is an uncomfortable conversation no matter how you slice it. I'm just going to be brutally honest with the circumstances around my situation and would hope that I get some brutally honest responses.

I'm not looking to out anyone, so I'm gonna be a little vague. But ultimately, I've been seeing this girl for about 8 months. In that time, her period has always come around the 23rd of the month, give ir take 3-4 days.

I'm not like tracking this or anything, but my job has a lot to do with working on dates so I kind of naturally noticed a pattern... I know how that sounds so I want to get it out of the way.

Now, tomorrow is the 28th and she hasn't had her period yet and I kind of want to ask her. My reasons are: 1) I'm kind of scared, which I hope you can understand. 2) We've been a little lax on safety as of late. 3) She's been experiencing a lot of mood swings, significantly more than a typical "cycle." 4) We've kinda started talking about baby stuff lately... 5) Idk, I just wanna reiterate that I'm scared. I know she has more information about her own body that could reduce my fears, but I don't know how to appropriately extract that information.

Look, I'm just a little worried and want to have a very open and vulnerable conversation with the person that I love. But I'm afraid I'll come off as being creepy or pushy. Any advice is totally welcomed but I would really like to hear the best way to make this conversation feel as safe as possible for the both of us, preferably from another woman. I don't want her to feel any type of way and I would like to avoid as much embarrassment as possible on my end should this be a false alarm, though I do accept that I'll have a liitle egg on my face either way should this be a total non-issue.

I have had a FWB for a long time. I love him as a FWB, and there’s something incredibly perfect about sex with him.

We’ve always explored things that at some level add a psychological dimension, and it has made the relationship fascinating and exciting.

But in the latest twist: he suggests that I pay him. We tried it once - the amount was more symbolic than anything else and it added a psychological twist to the night. We teased each other about the situation before meeting and it was fun.

He said some things that I didn’t know how to interpret really, like “now I can finally love you like I’ve always wanted to.” I guess he was being facetious and it didn’t come out right, so I just ignored it. He has never been interested in a relationship with me. But there was something about his tone and demeanor that had an element of sincerity.

Now he wants to keep doing this, and to increase the price to something that actually hits my budget a bit, and to get together at my house which we never did before. I don’t know how to feel about it.

In a way it makes me feel more relaxed - I get to enjoy the night without “performing” as much because I’m paying for it. And he’s never been to my house before - I get to host for the evening which I enjoy. It’s more relaxing than what we’ve been doing.

But there’s fundamentally something insulting about saying I have to pay. I have thousands of likes on dating apps - I can find other sex partners. But yeah I do specifically want him.

I don’t know if this is actually money driven or more psychological. He is high earning but does have a lot of expenses so I’m not sure if he cares about the actual money or not. He says he likes how it makes him feel. I think maybe it’s more of a domme-sub kind of thing. I don’t know how to think about it.

So basically I met this girl a few weeks ago and she is an amazing person, very sociable and energetic and kind etc... but I didn't really have feelings for her cause she just isn't my type (she is still attractive, just not someone I would normally personally like) and we really didn't talk much the couple times we went out in groups.

And then last week me, her, and some other friends were all out drinking and partying and we all got a fair bit drunk and this girl ended up absolutely "love bombing" me. She's sitting on my lap and complimenting me and saying we're meant to be together and apparently she talked about me to her friends, it was like 0 to 100 very quickly and kind of out of nowhere.

This night really freaked me out, I had no idea what to say or think or how to react. It's also very important to mention I've never been in a relationship or had a girl say they liked me or anything, so you can see how surprised I would be when she's doing that stuff.

I did start to develop a small crush on her as we started hanging out, cause she is an amazing person. But all I have is a small crush I think, and this is like maybe the 3rd girl in my life I've had a crush on, so again I'm very new to all of this.

We have hung out since, she wasn't as flirty but it's still obvious she likes me and it's been causing me a lot of stress. How do I know if I like a girl the same way she likes me, and when do we have that conversation? I really don't want to be bad and like string her along by flirting with her and then turning around later and saying I didn't like her that much, so I really want some advice on how I can go about this.

I 28F am having a hard time with not annoying my partner right now 30M He’s got a lot going on in his life and we both can shut down sometimes. But when life gets busy for him he can’t always text me 24/7 and it makes my mind wonder and makes me become anxious and overly annoying to deal with. I called him over 5 times in one day just to chat with him. He answered every call but I could tell he was getting super annoyed throughout the day. I know what I do can be annoying but I can’t help but to keep bothering him.

We have broken up in the past and actually didn’t speak for 6 months as we were surely done with this cycle. We would argue all the time because he wouldn’t text me often and i become too anxious and unfortunately for both of us it’s super exhausting to deal with. He recently reached back out and we started talking again.

We have been super good for 3 months but my mind has started to get the best of me. He does reassure me and kiss me and tells me he loves me when we are together. I just can’t be without him and want him to text me all the time or my mind goes CRAZY. I make up scenarios I become depressed. I don’t want to be this way anymore.

Does anyone have any good advice on how to help me learn to be less anxiously attached to him? I appreciate all the advice. Including letting me know how exhausting it is to deal with someone like me. I don’t want what I do to be fed into I want to learn to change. For my mental health and for our relationship.

I (25M) am in an amazing relationship with my girlfriend (27F) other than one big issue that is having cascading effects. She has a MUCH lower sex drive, close to non existent, than I do to the point that I am always the one initiating and we have sex at best once a week sometimes only once every 2 weeks. This personally does not meet my needs, which of course causes issues in other aspects of the relationship (resentment, etc.).

We have had several very serious and intentional conversations about this to try and fix the issue, and it all boils down to her meds leaving her with a very small sex drive/not thinking that way really at all which causes me to feel constantly denied when I initiate and in general not desired. She says all the right things, how she’s attracted to me and all that, but it doesn’t feel that way because it’s not backed by action.

We live together and both live very far from home so we don’t have a huge social circle to fall back on and spend most of our time together, she is definitely my best friend out here. Point is, I don’t want to just up and leave over this one very obvious incompatibility. I’ve had enough relationships to understand not every girl/dynamic is 100% perfect, there is always something that needs to be worked through with communication, but trying to communicate through this has been a dead end.

Any advice or similar experiences?

Edit: these are mental health meds, she refuses to try different meds/brands/dosages because they have dramatically changed her life, and I entirely understand that.

i f22 am in a new relationship with m23. i really like him a lot and he is everything i could ask for and more. we have taken things slow on the physical intimacy side and he briefly mentioned how many people he slept with. he has a significantly lower number of partners than me. he didn't ask me how many men i have been with, but i am worried if he knew that he would reject me.

any advice on if he ever asks? or if i should volunteer the info? i don't really want to tell him. i have thought about making up a number.

not all of the sexual experiences in my past were positive and they all lead to more hurt and heartache than i wanted. some "looking for love in all the wrong places" and some where i was taken advantage of.

i am just worried if he knew, he wouldn't want anything to do with me and be disgusted by me. i also know that is all in my past and it doesn't define me.

edit: i literally feel nauseous about it. it's not like ive cheated on him or been unfaithful or anything of the sort. i didn't even go on a date with anyone else once he popped up on my radar. it's just in the past and i can't change it, and feel so awful and guilty.

My current gf, who I'll refer to as A, is my first and only gf I've ever had. We've been together since high school, but around 2 years ago I broke up with her because I felt I wasn't able to match her emotional needs. Around 5 months after the breakup, I kind of had a crush on somebody else from college. It wasn't anything big nor did it lead to anything really. However, it was big enough of a crush for me to start telling my (our) friends about it. During this time, I had no contact with A, we weren't speaking at all and I barely saw her since she was in a different city. Fast forward to a year after our breakup, we started talking again, only as friends at first, but one thing led to another and we started dating. It was honestly going really well until our common friend accidentally told her that I had a crush on somebody else during the time we broke up. She got very upset by it and was crying saying that she feels she was replaceable or that she didn't have an impact on me. Of course, I keep reassuring her how special she is, how I love her, and how she's the one I'm in a relationship with rn, but I honestly kind of feel frustrated, in a sense? We had a conversation about it, but what I expected to end in a night somehow got extended over to 3 days now. I really don't want to invalidate how she feels, but I also feel like it wasn't really a crime to have a crush on someone else, especially when we weren't in a relationship then. I feel really drained because this is all we've been talking about for the past 3 days, and I don't know when it'll stop. I don't know how to tell her how I feel about this situation, or if I even should. I also don't know if what I'm feeling itself is valid, and I'm scared that this is something she'll keep bringing up in the future. I really want us to work this time, but I'm scared I'm not comforting her enough or that we have put very different weights on topics like this. Please tell me how I should go about this or give me some clarity about the situation?

Please, I'm at my wits end. Let me preface by saying I'm extremely grateful to live home. I have my own room. I am currently in a graduate program before applying to professional school (medical school) so I'm trying to save money for applications and expenses. This is why I'm living home. I can't move out.

This past year my uncle and his girlfriend moved states and faced financial troubles so they moved into my grandmas room. (My grandmas always lived with us, she helps because my mom is frequently sick). Thats three adults in my grandmas room with all their stuff so the room is VERY messy. They smoke cigarettes (outside only) and me and my mom both have asthma but when they come inside the smell follows them and makes downstairs unpleasant. my sister and uncle don't get along and have gotten into arguments many times.

My sister (I love my sisters but they are alot) goes through alot and drinks and is suicidal. My mom thought it would be a good idea to get her a small little dog. Not from the shelter, a $400 dog. Mind you (I am a bit annoyed and resentful for this), our phone bill was merged this year as well and our phones were off cause they didn't have the money for it. I had to cover my grandmas side of the phone bill. I don't have a job currently and the only money I have is from my refund and savings. My sister did not have her portion, but doordashes food almost everyday and just bought a designer purse.

The dog is very cute but my my already have a dog and a cat (which my other sister doesn't not adequately clean his litter box as she should). As puppies do he is messy, chews stuff and has been using the bathroom in front of my room frequently. Or before I go to class he goes in the middle of the living room and the entire downstairs smells. But my mom and sister are at work and don't clean it until they get back home. My sister knows this and tries to keep him in his cage all day every day. I was against the dog but I understand my mom thought it would be a good idea with my sisters mental health problems. But, in a house where barely anyone cleans up after themselves on top of our overcrowded home and now my 7 year old cousin is here more now (got expelled from school) and he has behavioral issues himself and is extremely disrespectful.

This environment is very anxiety inducing. I'm not happy to go home, I get anxiety from waking up in the morning to see if there's pee in front of my door or downstairs and smelling it while I pack my lunch. I understand my mom is going through alot and she genuinely tries to help. She is an amazing mother. But I believe her need to help everyone and put so much on her plate has allowed so much to fall apart. Please. I cant move out, I can't afford it. I wrote this in a state of unease so it's very haphazard.

I have been dating my partner for four months. We see each other a week per month, and have a few calls planned per week, in total maybe 6-7 hours. We barely text -- he is not into that.

He is very busy with work, which I am too by the way, but I created a healthy routine to have a relationship while he clearly struggles. When he is present and focused, he is absolutely fantastic. But when he is not, meaning all day when he works and half of the time we have left because it takes time for him to settle down and focus on us, I feel abandoned and annoyed.

I feel that this is maybe a maturity gap. He says he wants to settle and build something, but seeing each other in presence 9 hours a month does not allow to build anything. When we have relationship conversations, that I bring up, we talk for an hour and then he is tired and nothing comes out of this.

We are extremely compatible, and he is constantly complimenting me, always hearing what I say and apologizing, but nothing much comes out of it. The last straw is today : it is his birthday. He woke up at 6, ignored me all day, we ate together 30 minutes and then that was it. We ate pasta ketchup because I did not want to do all the cooking. Often I do all the nice things.

I am feeling hurt and alone. I do not understand how he can repeat that he wants to build something when he only gives me nine hours of focus time per month. I feel lied to and disrespected, but when he is focused, he is adorable and mature. I can feel that all these aborted relationship discussion are bringing us down.

I am posting this on a throwaway because some people have access to my main reddit username.. I am 24, my ex is 30 I believe. maybe 31. We dated for about 3 months. Obviously he is older, so i'm not ignoring the idea that maybe he just thinks differently because he is older than me.

anyways, the issue is that, during our 3 month relationship like 8 months ago, he kept asking to sleep together but i was not ready. he kept pushing for it, maybe for the same reason that he always says he thinks i am "playing with him." like, playing games. i said tonight (because he reached out to me 12 days ago, 6 months after i left the job we shared and maybe 9 months after we dated. timeline is a bit fuzzy, sorry. I said a bit irritated, that I was not playing with him and its unfair of him to act like i was playing games with him and his feelings when the truth is, i was just not ready for or comfortable with what he wanted from me at that time. he also said tonight on call, was saying sexual stuff. again, i did not want to turn on my camera to my face or anything else he was asking for.

let me be honest. I am not at the size I want to be at, and despite efforts my attempts to reach it have not worked out. I'm quite far away from my ideal weight, i am plus size. I have been trying for a while but I struggle with an ED so its not easy. I told him today (closest ive ever been to being honest about why I didnt sleep with him or anyone yet in my life) that the reason i dont want to pick up the call is bc i look crazy, my hair is a mess and i have no makeup on.

he said I am beautiful and dont need makeup. I said i look crazy. he said it again and that guys dont need makeup referring to himself but saying i dont either. I think the problem is, he does not get the depth of my insecurity, lol. He said "if we get together again will you not be too shy to sleep with me?" the way I see myself, i am 'not ready to be seen.' im not at the weight I want to be yet, I have been struggling with an ED since i was 14 years old. over 10 years now. I am literally not skinny. I am i think, 238 lbs right now? like 5'9.

I think, if i were to let anyone see me at this size for my first time with someone I would feel like a failiure. because, I have been trying to lose weight for so long and it doesn't work. I just binge and then puke sometimes. and then cycle between that, extended water fasting, drinking alot of alc and eating whatever i want, etc, on and on. I have binged for months on end, done multiple 10-14 day water fasts, purged for weeks, tried a healthy diet but been unable to stick to it...

I do like him alot, but I don't know how to give him what he wants from me. we wanted the same things at one point, to be together and get married and have kids. I want a family of my own. but my hatred for my own body has extended for years that I don't know how to move past it. Literally just cry about it but I can't fix it.

Everything I couldve had with him was everything I wanted for myself in life by age 25, and my birthday is next month. I will turn 25 and I am failing. And it feels unfair, like pressure from him, to want what he wants from me when I know im not comfortable enough to give it. I think maybe I have been insecure about my body for so long that I don't know how to move past it without losing weight. So i just stay inside my apartment, I binge, puke sometimes, fast, drink, and refuse to let anyone see me. What can I even do. I couldve had the life I wanted with him. I feel really sad about it but I don't think I can fix how i feel without losing weight but im so sick of trying its making me depressed. Sorry for my shitty grammar if its kind of bad, im drinking rn. Also had to post this on a throwaway acc bc it told me to, idk

So for context, i don’t mean major mistakes, i mean simple misunderstanding mistakes or similar. As this is both of ours first healthy relationship, and in my past whenever i had made a small mistake or got emotional around ex’s, they ended up leaving. I had a girlfriend that when breaking up with me blame everything on me, for example that i asked too much of her, despite only ever asking to see her at least once a week and to get complimented by her after 2 months she never did. And then a talking stage/almost dating after i ended up being emotional around her at one point she stated everything was okay, and then proceeded to ghost me for 3 days, and then blamed me for not talking to her anymore. Now with my current girlfriend, i feel like anything i do is going to cause her to leave even after she tells me everything is okay and she wants to help me work through it, but i just don’t know how to work on this. Does anyone have any advice that could help me?

We're in a long distance relationship and this is my first ever relationship, so I am taking the obvious lack of experience into consideration because he was also a virgin before this relationship.

We've met up a handful of times and we have a good relationship overall. I enjoy sex with him, but it's been 2 whole years and still, I've never come during sex, or after, or before, from his touch. He often complains that I take too long, and he's kind of right about that, I can literally take 40 minutes to finish, but I can also finish in under 5, it just depends on the foreplay and stimulation and I think that's pretty normal.

He has tried to get me off, but he doesn't know how to touch me right, and I try to tell him how or guide his fingers, but he still doesn't understand. He also focuses way too much on my pussy and not a lot on my clit. There's also not a lot of foreplay other than kissing.

So what happens when we have sex is minimal foreplay, kissing sometimes, fingering, and he does touch my clit for like 2 minutes sometimes and then we have sex. I'm still not really that turned on so it always hurts at first, and then afterwards he goes to clean up and then I clean up and we cuddle. There's no attempt on his part to get me off afterwards.

Another thing, I've tried to talk to him about it multiple times, I've told him that I can't finish solely from penetration, I've asked for more foreplay and touching before he touches me down there, and I've asked him to research things he doesn't understand if my explanation isn't enough.

Last time I visited him, after we did it I told him that I felt hurt that he just goes off and doesn't try to get me off afterwards, and that I don't like how minimal the touch is on my clit.

He said that he doesn't think about it and that it's difficult for him to wrap is head around the fact that I experience pleasure differently than he does and differently to how he thought women enjoyed sex. But he's trying.

I don't see where the trying is coming from, I really don't understand how in 2 years, he still doesn't get it. I feel like I really don't need to try any harder to get him to understand because I feel like I've already said everything that needs to be said and there's been no progress. I really do feel hurt because he's also said that there's something wrong with me bc I take so long.

I just don't know what to say to him anymore. I need some advice on what to do and what to say to him.

(Edit, important context that I agree should've been added from the start: I am only able to provide one side of the story, and that's always going to be biased. He's a massive sweetheart, is fantastic in every other category of our relationship and I think I need to give both of us a little bit more time before I determine that he's being negligent of my needs on purpose bc he doesn't care. If you want to call both of us idiots still, completely fair, I'm 20, so I'm definitely an idiot lmao.)

When we first got together our sex life was incredible. Multiple days a week, sometimes multiple times a day. He always made sure to be attentive to me & was participating emotionally & physically. He would do anything & everything with me with a lot of enjoyment & enthusiasm. He wrote me poetry, complimented my looks, my personality, my actions. He treated me the way I always dreamed someone would. He was such a romantic. After about a year together I experienced a very traumatic situation that involved me being sexually assaulted. Ever since our relationship has crumbled. From him there is No more compliments, no more romance or flirting, no more staring at me with love or adoration, he stopped initiating sex entirely. The only times he does are when he’s sleepwalking, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until he wakes up & half the time then he rolls over & goes right back to sleep. When we do have sex he never gives oral anymore. I tried to ask why & he said he doesn’t like it, he has to put all his effort into not gagging. I’ve walked in on him watching porn to get off twice, when I asked him why he would do that instead of having sex with me when I’m literally right there he told me it was because he was hard & it was annoying him, he just wanted it to go away & sex was a lot of effort. I understand he’s under a lot of stress with work, finances, my health conditions but I feel like the love from him is dead & it’s crushing me. I’m disabled & can only work part time jobs at the moment but on my good days I try to get as much done at home as possible. I wash his laundry, do the dishes, clean the house, I know I don’t keep up with it as well as I need to or would like to but on the days I’m able I clean all day until I can’t anymore. Anytime I make any money I use all of it for bills or I just send it to him & let him take care of where it needs to go. I know he didn’t sign up to be a caretaker, I’m trying my best to get my health better so I can be better. I miss being loved & wanted, I miss being important & adored…I still compliment him all the time on his achievements, his looks, everything he does. He doesn’t seek out quality time. We don’t go on dates or do things together unless I ask. The only thing that seems to be routine is watching anime together while we eat. He works night shift so I wake up when he gets home just to spend time with him but it often just leads to an argument or uncomfortable atmosphere. What can I do to earn his love again? He’s the only man I’ve ever loved or dreamed of having a future or family with. Seeing his love for me go from a raging wildfire to a lukewarm coal is agonizing.

First time poster here. I recently started seeing someone (M22) who’s been nothing but perfect. It’s been about a month, however, I have known him since May and have liked him since then. He’s been so sweet, genuine, kind and supportive of me. It feels like I have finally found someone that I could have a relationship with (never been in a relationship before)

There is only one issue. I am a Catholic Italian-Australian and he is Muslim, born in an Islamic country but moved here over 10 years ago. He doesn’t follow the Islamic faith but on paper is Muslim.

When i initially started seeing him I had a massive fight with my parents (who I live with) about this fact. They think he’s going to whisk me away overseas and revert to Islam, which is simply not the case. My parents let it go for a few weeks, probably thinking that I would end up breaking things off with him, but now that we’ve been seeing each other more and more, they’ve decided to step in and make me end things with him.

Before anyone says anything, I can’t ignore my parents. My family and I are very close and their approval in both my life and relationships means a lot to me. I can’t cut off my parents or date M22 in secret because that’s not what I’m capable of. I don’t have the means to move out.

I know that the only thing I can do is end things with him. I really don’t want to. But my dad is strict in his beliefs and I could never date someone that they couldn’t accept.

How do I tell him that the reason I can’t see him is because of something he had no control over?

Contains explicit info; I’ll try to keep it appropriate but for the younger crowd, proceed with caution pls.

TLDR; partner has been struggling with satisfying me during sex for months, turns out he’s been secretly fapping to other women for a long time and i’m unsure how to proceed forward.

Long read, my partner (M27) and I (F26) have been together for almost 8 years, we have a child together, school aged. For the past almost year, he’s been struggling with keeping himself erect. This is very disappointing, because we were both SEEMINGLY really excited for our kiddo to start kinder this year so that we’d have more time alone with each other.
That being said; he was struggling with lasting longer than a minute through our first round, and after that he would only be semi-erect, sort of just jamming it against me until he’s hard enough again. This could take up to 10 minutes, and it’s very disheartening, it kills the mood and is a bit of a confidence killer. Sometimes that doesn’t happen and i just get that first quick half-assed round.
Together we discussed it a few months ago, he was worried that it was a medical issue. After lots of pestering from me, he went and got checked out and he is completely fine. So I went out of my way to work on bettering his diet, feeding him things that help with blood circulation and encouraging him to exercise more. He complained that it may be because he is so tired and stressed from working so much, so I even picked up a second part-time job back in August. I regularly work 16 hour days between both jobs.
Now, yesterday morning was my first full off day in about ~2 weeks, between two jobs. I intended to sleep in, but instead i was woken up repeatedly at 6am by him getting out of bed, back in bed, sitting up, laying down; and finally when the love seat in our room began creaking rhythmically, i took a deep breath and started to just wake up. I was only a little irritated, but what threw me was the immediate locking of his phone and shoving it away. It was dark in the room, my prescription glasses are -4.75, and i did NOT have my glasses on yet. For those of you who don’t wear glasses; that means I could NOT see shit. I’m also usually very disoriented when i wake up, it just takes me a minute to put my brain back in my skull.

Anyways, later that morning, he lets me know he hadn’t slept all night and because of that; he did not want to have sex. This was sort of reasonable but also sort of confusing to me, because why are you up all night and what are you doing?
He’s made it a habit the past couple of weeks to stay up all night; and sleep once I’m awake leaving me with getting the kid to school, housework etc, on my days off. I really try not to complain about it, but all he does is go to work, come home, game; and sleep so I’m thinking, what could you possibly be SO tired from? I ask him, he says “i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i just can’t stay asleep.” He also LOVES when we have sex before he goes to sleep. Says it makes him sleep better when I put him to sleep, opposed to him to just falling asleep. So curiosity got the best of me.

I went through his phone. I haven’t gone through it in a very long time, but the answers he’s given me were not making sense, and some of my questions he couldn’t even answer.
So his browser history was clear, his search history in every app was clear, and that was even more suspicious, because i’m on his phone pretty regularly and i know he can’t close an internet tab to save his life, plus he doesn’t clear his searches, usually everything he’s been doing on his phone is in plain sight for me to see if i go looking for it, but it’s like his phone was wiped CLEAN before he went to sleep this morning.
There was a point in time when safari on his phone had like 77 open tabs? Probably up until yesterday, when i noticed it was clear.
My last check was facebook, and his search was clear but his algorithm was NOT. Full of girls naked, or in lingerie, videos of them teasing the camera and promoting their onlyfans. I navigate to his link history and it’s even worse; he’s clicking these links and watching their full length videos. All of them are time stamped for having been posted while I’m at work, or sleeping, and he visits their pages and watches every single video on their page. I’m also positive that he was fapping to a girl on facebook lying right next to me in bed yesterday until i woke up. And then he’s clearing it all up, I guess he doesn’t know about the reels watch history or the link history tab though. He was really cranky when I woke up, almost questioning why I was up at 6am when I’m usually up at 5am for work, so that also kind of confirmed my suspicions.

I guess my issue here is the secrecy, and then not finding any satisfaction in our sex life because he’s busy jerking to other girls. To make it worse, he has an entire album dedicated to pictures and videos of ME like that. It’s sort of a slap in the face, I feel disgusted with him and I don’t even want him touching me right now. I don’t feel special anymore, i feel like just another woman he lusts over. He used to have a bad porn addiction when we first got together, and I’d catch him using secret browsing apps to watch porn so that I wouldn’t see it while I was on his phone.
This is something he claimed to have worked on, and i chose to trust and believe him without confirming. This could’ve been going on this entire year, for all I know, and maybe he’s just kicked it up a notch.
I just want to know if this is normal.. we’ve been together for a while already and our lives are so entwined, but i just don’t know if this is something that I’ll deal with regardless of if it’s him or someone else. I understand other people are attractive, but i also think that if you have a partner at home, you should not be masturbating if you can’t also make sure your partner is satisfied.
I also want to note; I never had an issue with him watching porn or masturbating. The issue is him partaking in these things so much that I get left out, and discarded, plus he frowns upon me when I masturbate.

Anyways, thanks for reading, I’d love to hear your thoughts even if they are harsh and judgmental.

The reason I am a virgin is that I grew up in a cult where everything was forbidden and I was constantly being watched; as a result, I spent a large part of my adolescence living in fear of failing within that cult.

The only relationship that I ever had was during my time in inside the cult, but we never even kissed due to the abusive people who watched us.

Fortunately, I left that cult a few years ago and was able to process and overcome what I experienced there, but since then I haven't had any relationships.

I consider myself an average but attractive guy, and I know of a few girls who have been attracted to me, but until now, I hadn’t really felt like pursuing a relationship.

A few weeks ago, I met a girl at the gym and I liked her; we talked many times at the gym, and then I asked for her IG. So far, everything is going well, and I think she’s interested in me, but I’m not sure what the next step should be; I've never gotten this far since my time in that hideous cult.

If this potential relationship progresses, what can I do?

Honestly, I’m worried that she might expect me to take the next steps but I don’t know how, and I’m afraid that she sees me as a weird dude just because I’ve never had my first kiss.

I feel like everyone but me is very experienced when it comes to relationships, and I don’t want to end up paralyzed just because I’m starting late.