Finally met after 8 months of video calls.

Definitely worth the wait

It’s my birthday. I told him I was free all day until dinner time. I asked for a couple hours of his time to be with me, play a game together or hang out, and he disappears and messages back hours later “I fell asleep” “sowwy” like what???? And when I tell him im upset and sad that we didn’t get to spend time together, I said this is like the one day a year where it’s really shitty to fall asleep when you should be with your partner, he says “Ok next time I’ll peel my fucking eyes open” and hasn’t comforted me or felt nice to me at all. I’ve spent the day crying and trying to be happy around my family but this feels so horrible

Met her last year during a trip. I have to go back to France and now I definitely move in Malaysia so we can stay together! 6 months feels sooo long. The distance is so hard and so many challenges. I was so afraid that we would lose this spark that I ended up coding a little shared voice alarm app just so we could wake each other up

Keep your hopes up, guys!

my boyfriend (M29) and I (F28) have been doing long distance for over 3 years. almost a year and a half in different continents, and 2 years in the same country but different cities. we finally both have jobs in the same city, in a third country for both of us, and just moved in together. here’s our first night together meal :)
i’m over the moon! it still feels unreal🥹 so here’s some happy story that it’s possible to survive long distance, and it’s possible to make it happen even in a country where neither is native. moments like this are worth every part of the struggle ❤️

I am F24 and I am finally meeting my boyfriend after many months because he was away for business and I am so happy but I keep on seeing these couple videos once in a while where women post stuff like "A day before meeting my boyfriend, wish me luck" and she shows a whole bunch of skincare, body care and even shows body waxing appointments, get their nails done, you get the whole idea.

Do all of you do this?

I am conflicted because on one hand my man has seen me in my absolute disgusting self and still loves me but also other part of me sees this as a good excuse to pamper myself and plus point is something little extra treat for him because even my man does the same.

Before meeting me he also does the whole nine yards of skincare, nail care everything you name it.

The thing is that him and I both do self care before meeting each other but his routine is more intense than mine, he says he wants to look best for me, which is cute but makes me think should I up my self-care game as well?

Do men also do this or is this more of just women doing this stuff? When I talked to my friends irl about how my man also does the same they were shocked and said "My man doesn't even wash his face, you are so lucky!"

Is over the top self care necessary to keep the spark in long distance relationship alive?

...distance is honestly the hardest part of loving someone deeply. Every single day, I wish I could wrap my arms around you after a long day, kiss your forehead without needing a screen between us, hold your hand while we walk with no destination, and just stare into your eyes while forgetting about the rest of the world.

I miss hearing your real laugh in person instead of through a phone speaker, and I miss seeing your smile right in front of me instead of through photos and videos. There are nights when I wish I could simply sit next to you in silence, because even silence feels peaceful when it's shared with the person you love.

No matter how many miles separate us, my heart still chooses you every single time. You are the place where I feel safe, understood, loved, and complete. Even from far away, you still feel like home to me. And no matter how difficult this distance becomes, my love for you only grows stronger because loving you is the most real feeling I have ever known.

Yes we have an age gap but most days don’t feel it. I’m not here to exactly discuss age, but moreso the distance aspect maybe or general relationship. We love each other deeply and naturally click and all that. We have the same values and religion and home country, yet are both progressive free thinkers.

We’re both bonded in that way where you feel you’re both on another plane and the rest of the world is kinda somewhere below. Like a creative or cerebral bond? Anyway, point is we gel. As enriching as our relationship is, we’re both not rich and are struggling to find a way to actually come together.

I went through a simultaneous divorce and career transition a couple years ago and have since been trying to do something more creative instead of 9-5, while he moved countries for higher education. We aren’t established and now after 2 years of long distance it’s starting to turn stale or depressing. I tend to whine and complain more often than him while he holds it down since he’s naturally just more stable. He has started criticizing me like never before over nothing in particular.

It’s not that I can’t handle him being moody. I just don’t know what’s happening. He can’t exactly tell me because he barely understands himself because…. He’s 25? He doesn’t reflect on himself much.
I don’t know if he’s lonely and can’t say it. If he sees hot girls in the new country and wants to hook up. If he’s mad at my work schedule. He thinks he isn’t rocking the boat but I’m the boat is sinking.

I’ve been pretty pessimistic about our relationship because I want a future and real partner and full life. Ldr is exhausting and sometimes I wonder if I’m just hiding or something. I do really love the guy but don’t know if it’s a good idea to consider him as husband material. Plus trying to be together just looks like such a huge struggle and I learned long ago that the struggle story is a myth. It can be easy if you want it to be, just pick someone that meets your criteria.

This was a rebound connection after my marriage fell through but it became much more along the way. What now? I’m pretty attached to this and we both still show up everyday. But we’re not really talking anymore it’s really painful and depressing being on the phone with him. He’s checked out shortly after being in the new country. I want to understand but don’t want to be stuck in that horrible dynamic of overgiving and raising someone who’s supposed to be my man.

I’m still not where I want to be in life and need the support. I’m not sure what I’ll do without my person.

I finally had the courage to remove my situationship of 7 months off my friend list after 20 days of no contact…
It’s a wired feeling even tho he made me feel so confused at the end and i was like “I’m better off alone” but now that i ended it i kinda miss the honeymoon phase 🥲
but if we were meant to be together it would’ve happen no matter what and I don’t want my days to pass by waiting for his message and him trying to actually do something other than apologizing over and over again every time.

I have been in this ldr relationship with my Girlfriend for a 1 month now and its been going really bad she always disappears on me and leave me hanging and her excuses is that she is busy with family and I know she is not cheating but she says everything will be fixed when she returns to live alone and im scared of what if it doesnt change and im trapping myself in this relationship

And the more I stay the harder it is to break up but I also say to myself what if it will actually get better when she lives alone again like when we first met

Hi guys! First time poster here
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we have always lived 30 mins away from each other. In a few weeks he is moving to Hawaii with his best friend. For context his best friend is moving bc his gf lives down there and my bf wants to follow along as he is in his mid twenties and honestly feels stuck in life. He wants something different and he always tells me how much he loves Hawaii since he grew up traveling there often with his family. I am supportive as I am a person who believes you should travel in your twenties and I would do the same right now if I wasn’t in school. I was originally worried abt the potential thoughts of girls and him being weird since I tend to overthink but then knowing him he never had that pursue tendencies as we have bonded a lot over that as I am the same. This next year of his life is his version of living through Anthony Bourdain. We both love his show and have read his book so I can see how he wants to travel. But I feel selfish for feeling sad that he’s leaving as the closest thing we’ve done to long distance was when I went on a month long family trip to my homeland where there was a bigger time difference than Hawaii and we did fine back then. For travel wise-I have no issues traveling and want to plan as soon as possible but right now he has me on pause for it as he isn’t there yet but also he doesn’t know what job he will end up getting and how their hours will be and finances will look. I just want to know is it okay to feel sad that he’s leaving for a while and that I am worried about our relationship but I’m also looking for overall advice,anything is greatly appreciated 🩶 thank you all🦋

Hey everyone! So, I'm about to meet my girlfriend this weekend after a long time, and we've been talking about and looking forward to finally getting that moment together. I'm honestly really excited but also kinda nervous because, well, it's a first for us, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect haha.

I've been curious about this for a while, so I'd love to hear how it was for you guys!

For those of you who had your first kiss during or after long distance, how did it actually happen? Was it something you planned beforehand, or did it just happen naturally in the moment? Who made the first move? Was it awkward at first, or did it feel natural?

And more than just how it happened, I'm really curious about how it felt. Like, what was going through your mind right before it happened? What did it physically and emotionally feel like in that moment? Did it feel surreal after spending so much time apart and finally getting to be together in person? What was it like immediately afterward? Did you get shy, laugh, hug each other, or just sit there taking it all in? Did it change anything between you two, or was it just a sweet moment that you kept thinking about afterward?

I know everyone's experience is different, but I'd genuinely love to hear the little details too, even the awkward or unexpected ones. I guess I'm just trying to get a glimpse of what that moment might be like for us.

So yeah, tell me your stories! I'm all ears :))

I’ve(16F) been talking for this guy(16M) for about 3 months now with plans to meet him in person in december. in the beginning, things were obviously super warm and fun— we’d talk for hours otp unless we had somewhere to be, played games together, flirted, slept otp together. i never really felt interested enough in a guy to be committed as my past experiences were disappointing but he’s really something special.

before i started actually liking him, i always spoke spontaneously without thinking. we’d laugh a lot and talk about anything there was to talk about. he told his mom about me pretty early on, naturally i told my mom as well because i felt this was a connection that could turn serious. ive talked to his closest friends otp, even playing games with them. few of his closer family members know about me. i felt special.
i started to actually like him a lot as the days went by. he wasn’t shy about communicating his feelings and needs, he’d constantly tell me about how beautiful i was, how excited he was to see me, etc.

i feel like the more i leaned into him, the more self concious i got with what i conversed about. i found my head would go blank during regular conversation wondering if i was interesting enough or being too much, id subconsciously change the subject on personal topics then regret not saying anything more later on. sometimes we’d irritate eachother but those moments were something we could easily get past. i feel bad because within the months he’s done most of the facetiming, propping me up while he eats or plays with his animals. i’ve facetimed him twice but after that it’s been mostly my ceiling icl, i usually wear makeup and rarely show my bare face to people so it’s a bit uncomfortable although i know someday its inevitable and it’s better to get it over with

slowly, the silence in our calls were longer, conversations were less than surface level, the compliments stopped, the texts slowed.

recently he brought to my attention how he thinks we should stop talking for a month, and when we reconnect we’ll figure out if we really want to meet. it hurt me, but i understood because i knew i wasn’t myself. he mentioned how although i didn’t do anything truly wrong, he felt there was no chemistry between our personalities, no intellectual intimacy, stale humor, and so on. i accepted, i was kind of defeated, really. i couldn’t combat the way he felt.
then the same night he texted me, asking if i wanted to call while he did homework, i declined (i would’ve said yes if we weren’t in that current situation) saying there was something i wanted to do, we talked about some things we did within our day as if nothing happened, he’d even mentioned how he was thinking about me. when the conversation died i asked him about the whole 1 month thing again since he texted me out of nowhere. he reiterated that he does think it’s best we stop talking, and how texting me was out of habit. i told him that while i was happy to hear from him, he can’t just go back on his word, because it really confused me. we apologized and that was that. we haven’t spoken in days and i’ve been thinking a lot. i wish i asked better questions and wasn’t so scared to be vulnerable with him. i’m at a loss on what to do

i’ve reflected and although i want to reach out to him to talk about it, i can’t help but wonder if he really needs this space and i’d just be digging a deeper grave for myself by texting him. i know id regret not reaching out earlier but i can’t decide what i should do because it really felt like he was no longer romantically interested in me in the first messages.
what do i do? i miss him dearly, even the annoying parts

I don't know how to address to my partner that having alone time is a good thing for both of us yanno? That it's important to spend some time apart to have time to miss each other. And we've had conversations like this before and she said she understood but lately it feels like she's forgotten about those conversations or forgetting how to understand/respect my alone time. Every time I leave the phone call it gets awkward or silent afterwards. She replies to my messages with periods and posts weird subliminals on her Instagram notes. Very passive aggressive. And that makes me feel uncomfortable and like I can't enjoy my alone time. I know that she misses me I do, I miss her too. But lately it's getting harder to because we're on the phone all of the time, we sleep on the phone every night and I don't get any time for myself or to speak to my friends (my other people). And I love her I really do. I think we either have really different definitions of alone time or she's just very anxiously attached and I don't know how many more conversations we can have that'll help heal that. I know healing doesn't happen overnight but just recently she knew that I had to go to bed early because I had to be somewhere in the morning and she was upset because I was "gonna leave and I won't get to talk to you until later." I tell her I'll be back and she still points out the fact that I'm gonna leave. So she stayed sad and cried about it for a bit. All I could do is watch her cry and try to comfort her with "I'll be back love, it's okay. I'll call you when I get home." I don't know what to do because what if I did want to spend some time alone when I got home. Would that be a crime? I'd feel awful for it now. Like is the fact that I'm leaving is an issue for her? Or maybe not an issue but it's triggering something in her? I'm not sure but whatever it is I can't help if she won't acknowledge it, and I also need my time to be respected and accepted. Because if we can't have our own autonomy and personalities in our relationship then idk how much longer it's gonna work. Does anyone have any advice for me? Maybe how to word this better for a conversation? I don't want her to think that I hate her cause I don't, but is this normal and I'm just awful?

I (34f) have been talking with this guy (30m) since the beginning part of May. It quickly became flirtatious and we have what feels like a genuine connection. We met up and spent about 5 days incredibly days together that in many ways kinda makes the distance feel worse than it did before. We’ve talked about being exclusive and we talk literally almost every minute of every day. However when I ask where we kinda are he says he doesn’t see the point in labels because of that distance (I’m in Wyoming and he’s in Florida) Is this something that I should be concerned about. Is this normal. I’ve never done long distance before and honestly I just got out of an 18 year relationship so I feel a lot like a fish out of water with all of it 😅

Hello there! This post may be long, but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it & give their thoughts, opinions or advice! :)

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now, things have been great between us but at the same time other circumstances have been very difficult to handle making me question our future together or the reality of everything. For context she’s in the US and I am in Canada, we are both 26 years old.

A few months into dating, when she was flying to visit me the first time her mother had asked for my phone number for safety reasons, while my girlfriend was on the flight and had no reception, her mother called me and started interrogating me/ swearing at me trying to scare me away. It continued into texting after she had hung up on me out of anger and in those texts continued to call me rude names. Some of those include, a monkey(cause of my brown skin colour), ugly, parasite, predator, loser etc. She essentially hated me right from the get go because of her racism and how judgemental she is, her biggest issue is that I don’t have a degree because I chose to go the entrepreneur route, and I’m still figuring my life out. Like excuse me? What other 26 year old has things figured out especially in this current economy? Needless to say she did all this without ever giving it a chance to meet me or get to know me at all. I was nothing but respectful towards her the entire time and eventually ended it with saying “I won’t be responding going forward as I won’t tolerate the harassment and I don’t need to keep defending myself to you, take care”. Since then we’ve never spoken and I don’t ever intend to.

My girlfriend and I had a discussion about it and she’s aware how her parents are racist, judgmental and unstable and the conclusion was it’s her own life and she still chooses me and loves me. Over the course of our relationship she has continued to fight with her parents especially everytime she has come to visit.

We had also made the decision early on that she would come to Canada rather than me going there, for a few reasons but mainly it makes financial sense for the both of us. In Canada she stays with me and my family, we are able to cook and are able to freely do things as we please. Whereas because of the conflict with her family not liking me, if I go to the US we have to spend money on hotels and constantly pay for every meal out, that racks up expenses pretty quickly.

Now here are where all the problems come into play. Over the course of the year and a half, with her living at home and her constant fear of her parents having something to say, she’s very secretive about our relationship which from my end makes it feel like highschool and is very childish. She rarely FaceTimes me when she’s at home, the only times she will are; once her parents have gone to sleep or they aren’t home. So our main communication is texting and we only get to FaceTime in the morning for 30 minutes while she drives to work and again 30 minutes on her drive home in the evening which isn’t the right environment for any proper communication, or conversation of depth because she’s obviously driving at the same time and tired by the end of her shift. This already makes things very hard to feel a connection when we are apart cause we don’t get enough time to talk. She doesn’t seem to feel bothered by it cause to her “it is what it is, just go with the flow” but to me I don’t feel like I’m getting my needs met but it gets worse…

Her family goes on vacation a lot, and next month they are going to Mexico for 2 weeks and that entire time we will only be able to text because again the conflict with her family doesn’t allow her to freely talk to me cause a part of her is scared and fears them. This is gonna happen again for a week in December and then again multiple times next year where there’s phases where we can only text. And presumably forever while we are long distance or she can separate herself from them.

Anyways we’ve had a discussion about this a few months ago where this constant feeling of disconnection while we are apart takes a toll on us and isn’t easy but she was committed to making it work and promised changes in her communication and that she was going to try to move out or get a travel contract so she can move elsewhere and be away from her toxic, manipulative family. And at the same time allow me to go visit her in the US too. So she had started looking to buy a house and move out with her sister, yet and behold it never happened because her parents guilt tripped them into staying, weren’t supportive and they both feared upsetting them more. Coming now into the present the family proposed the idea of them buying a house, the parents giving them a downpayment and the parents living with them instead until they move out of the country which the parents plan to do in a few years. So this doesn’t solve any of our problems and just cements this into being the reality for us for the foreseeable future. I’m obviously extremely happy for her since this is a huge accomplishment but at the same time it’s frustrating knowing this is how it’s gonna be for our relationship. Knowing she has a house now, she’ll likely be visiting less as she has more bills to pay and has more responsibilities now. I still won’t ever be able to go visit her and stay in her house because of course the parents live with her and the constant lack of communication making us feel disconnected from each other will continue to put a strain on our relationship. I tried to bring up my concerns about how this affects the future of our relationship and how this decision directly affects us being able to build a life together and practically makes it impossible, but when I tried she didn’t wanna talk about it and said “it is what it is, go with the flow, you’re overthinking too much” so I didn’t end up voicing anything. The worst part is she made the decision to sign and buy this house without discussing it with me on what this means for us going forward.

I’m at the point now where I am struggling to see a viable future together and wondering if all this hardship is worth it when long distance is hard but ours is 10x harder without properly being able to communicate/ connect on a deep level. On top of that, the issue of her parents in the way for the foreseeable future and arguably the rest of our lives, for example problems at the wedding, problems if we decide to have kids, problems at holidays or family get together (where I’d end up staying alone cause I can’t join) etc.

Obviously the pros of our relationship are we get along great, always laugh together and are practically the same person! We share a lot of love for each other and I know she loves me more than anyone she’s ever dated, and same goes for me. She gets along with my family, supports me, believes in me and is basically everything I’d want in a woman.

I’ve got a big decision to make whether this is still worth it to keep going and fighting for our love or if I should end it and move on being the future is very hard to visualize a happy life or one that I’d want to live.

Thank you in advance for any input ! :)

We started out meeting and rapidly moving in together, things went good, then went very poor very rapidly and we both thought we made mistakes but agreed to take a break with one of us moving back to a different city many states over. Since then, we text daily, but have struggled to find phone time. It's also been very complex, as my partner has professed a desire to be away and have private time and freedom, and i also unfortunately know that they lie to me directly and frequently about where they are and what they are doing. Yes, big red flag, but there is nuance that isn't worth getting into. I'm not trying to assess the health of this dynamic, but instead a component of it.

My partner told me they loved me while drunk and confessed they were confused why i hadn't said it yet. I just wasn't ready. I felt it building, but my timeline was slower. Now we've been living apart for many months, and the magic feels like it is disappearing, but there is also difficulty in discerning if a text is mechanical or heartfelt. I believe the relationship is over in my partners eyes, but I will fight and hold on for hope. It's who I am

I have left several emotional voice notes in the past, as we struggle to connect for phone time or in person time, but as we approach a december/january return period, I can feel this sense that maybe we're not completely dead but close, and the time apart has made me finally realize that raw emotion, and i feel the need to tell her I love her. It feels awkward saying it out loud on a voice note, but it really seems the best way to get their attention with how much they have happening in their lives. It feels like they and I are reaching a fork in the road, one way towards reconciliation, another towards permanent good byes. I feel the need now I just need to say it so I can be at peace that i have shared exactly how i feel. But with out disjointed calendars, it feels weird. I always wanted to say it out loud in person, or at least on the phone. Now a voice note? I'm going to miss their reaction, but i am less concerned about capturing the impact of that statement and their reaction, and more concerned with just confidently asserting that I truly feel that way.

Any advice? is it just a god awful to share that specific 3 letter string of words through a voice note, and should I keep pushing for a moment to talk on the phone? Or is it just the time, I have to communicate it whatever ways I have available, and voice note is better than text or never at all or definitively too late. The only other benefit of a voice note is it lets me set the tone for why I am professing this, as there are some milestones that are harder to bring up in a lighter phone call if we have limited time

Any advice/suggestions welcome. TIA

How many have unconventional pet names? And what are they? I've tried calling my bf "Babe" but it always made me feel gross because my ex kept calling me babe up until 2 years after we broke up. The pet names I use are Love, Handsome, kumquat and dork.

Kumquat - well, it's just a funny name for a fruit and well the nickname kind of stuck because it's super random.

Dork - I use it in place of *adorable* It became a cute way to say you're adorable when I'm blushing, happy or whatever.

I, 26F moved away for MA in the Fall 2026. My partner, 26M is currently in a different city, preparing for GRE, and working as a TA. My field is Film Studies and his is Physics, he's still deciding on his narrowed stream.

After i moved away for graduate school few months back, i made him promise that he'll come and see me after his exams. His exams are supposed to finish by the end of thus month. I kinda getting busy woth my school wirk, and tbh, I don't even know if i can host him as I'm sharing the apartment with one more roommate.

On the flip side, he's been jokingly telling me that i should pay for his flight, when i clearly told him, I'm short on money as of my current situation as a graduate student. He hasn't bought tickets, and it seems he has no intention of showing up.

Now, my concern is that, I've never had a successful lobg term relationship. This is something both of us feel, we've shared a common sense that we don't feel affection for people and hard to care for someone who's not physically around. Therefore we are both on the same page that it's important to see each other, after few months gap. Otherwise it'll be gard to even feel anything for each other.

Now, I've told him bluntly that, I'm not forcing him, to come and see me, it's upto him. I know we xan figure out something if he only intends to come. But i feel like I'm being a despo talking to him about this again and again.

I loke thus guy, we have a lot in common, but the uncertainty, and non-chalant behavior towards this is bugging me. I try to be understanding that he has very important exams and all. But idk am i the problem?

My bf and I met more almost two years ago online, in our respective home countries, right before I left for college in a third country. And now all three countries are involved in the logistics of our travels, and they are all about 8, 20, or 24 hours away by plane depending where we leave from and go to.

Anybody was in / is currently in a similar situation? What has your experience been and where do you plan to move to?

he was gonna come see me and we were gonna go to disneyland but they denied any pto for the remainder of the year :( his job works him a lot but jobs are important so i understand its just really frustrating i havent seen him at all this semester.