Why is having a job treated as it's more important than our health or our lives? If you can't work while in excruciating pain, everybody looks down on you.

This is an update regarding the survivors who survived the horrible shooting which took place in a special education classroom at Silver Rail Elementary School in Bend, Oregon on October 15th. 3 children and a teacher unfortunately lost their lives, and this girl and another teacher were left in critical condition.

The girl who survived is Saylor Graham who has a brain condition known as CASK which has given her physical and cognitive challenges, that's why she has to use a wheelchair at times and was in special ed. When the shooting happened, she wasn't able to escape because of her physical limitations and that psycho took advantage of that to shoot her in the face leaving her in critical condition.

Saylor was taken to the ICU after the shooter and spent the last 2 weeks under that care while her family was praying for her. Fortunately her family has now given an update regarding her condition, and she's now out of the ICU doing better, but she still has a long recovery to go because that shot she suffered is something traumatic.

Saylor is a warrior. I'll continue praying for her and her family.

I also saw some reports that the teacher(Becky Drury) who survived, apparently used her body to shield Saylor, and then she played dead so the shooter would go away. I pray for the teacher's recovery as well.

Incidents like this break my heart as a teacher. Teachers and children should never have to worry about school shootings. Teachers have to worry about helping their students learn, and children should only worry about doing well in school. We shouldn't live in fear of a shooting happening in a place that is supposed to be for learning. And as a disabled teacher, I'm even more terrified of school shootings because I wouldn't be able to easily escape in my wheelchair.

School shooters are evil, and people who hurt children or disabled people are more than just evil. There are just not enough words to describe how evil this shooter was. Thankfully the shooter is now gone because an armed father stopped him.

Why do people say this? Like I haven't? Like they magically cure you in a snap? I hate people.

Just need to vent, debrief and share.

I just got disability shamed by a Christian church leader.

I had approached for help with accommodation, he had linked me to a lady looking for a lodger. We were not a good fit, the room was tiny, the place was infested with mice and mould, the floor was caving in, it stank of mould and smoke.

I accepted another two places. One fell through because the person googled my disability and didn’t want a tenant with disability. The next fell through last minute because I asked for a rent agreement and the woman, who lives in a mansion by today’s standards, doesn’t want social security to know her income.

I reached out to the pastor and asked if he would consider leasing a property for people with disabilities to share together as I’m tired of 99% of landlords rejecting disabled applicants leaving only these last resort places. He was initially open to that.

Three days later he calls me out of the blue and demands to know why I haven’t taken the room in the place full of mice. He then said that because I haven’t, that I’m untrustworthy so won’t look at leasing.

I don’t know whats triggered it - whether he’s having a bad day. But he was very rude to me and some days it feels like everyone wants to pick on, and take a piece out of, people with disability.

The whole reason I’m looking for a place is that instead of having kind and accepting family I have highly abusive family who treat me badly for having disability.

They try to control my life and put me down and judge me and blame me.

I DIDNT need more of the same from a church at this time - especially after two places fell through.

People are being untrustworthy to ME because I have disability and they see that as an opportunity for all their bad behaviours to have full play. To control, manipulate, blame and disrespect then deny it and victim blame.

I’m so tired of the widespread prejudice, exploitation, control and abuse of people with disability.

Do you have any comfort shows with disabled characters?

Does anyone know any with characters with systemic illnesses like lupus? or any with gastrointestinal ones?

I feel like I have so many disabilities and they all combat each other.

When my brain is bored and wants to do things, my body is too tired and achey.

When I'm tired, I can't get physically comfortable and my brain won't slow down enough to let me rest.

When I'm finally rested and have the energy to do things, I can't focus enough on any one thing to be productive.

I have a combination of neurodivergences (ADHD, OCD, anxiety, possible autism) and physical disabilities (spinal cord disease, musculoskeletal disorders, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, hypermobility, gastrointestinal issues)...

...and I just feel like I'm always being pushed and pulled between them.

I can never just have a good day.

Anyone else with multiple disabilities able to relate and have some general tips for pacing yourself, managing your bodymind's conflicting needs, taking advantage of the better days, and balancing it all?

After 3 rounds of different oral antibiotics one round of iv antibiotics and a tube change I am still dealing with this fuck ass infection. I feel like shit but am stable so non of the dr are doing anything and idk what to do now since this is basically how every day goes “Wake up, Through on clothing (most likely pjs since i can’t tolerate anything else), Get food (which makes me nauseous and causes regeneration),Attempt to be productive Fail and fall asleep (not by choice I literally can’t keep my eyes open), Wake up, get food (wich makes me nauseous and causes regeneration)
Attempt to be productive again, Try to go to bed but can’t for a while due to pain), fall asleep rinse and repeat.” The only reason i have been able to consistently get food Is due to living on a college campus and having a smart drive attachment to my wheelchair, which I’m basically by now using as an electric wheelchair chair haven’t been able to go to class consistently I barely am able to hang out with my friends and if I do it’s study session, I haven’t been able to do my dishes Landry or shower in the last like week and a half due to pain and or fatigue I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do anymore and feel stuck in the uncanny valley of to sick to function not sick enough to get help if anyone has any advice that would be greatly appreciated

I have hypermobile ehlers danlos and I notice lately I tend to prefer sleeping on the couch. I like the structure and how I can sleep almost sitting up, but not completely. I don't think a bed provides that support. Looking for any and all recommendations.

-my bed cannot be placed in the corner due to the structure of the apartment

-I already have a wedge pillow and a pregnancy pillow

Not because non disabled people treat me badly, that happens to everyone with disabilities. Of course it sucks(to say lightly), but it's not really a special experience.

Something I see talked about less, is being treated badly by officially diagnosed high functioning and or masking autistic adults. I hold no hatred for them for being more functional than me, what I hate is the fact they always treat me like I'm lying about being disabled by my autism. They often act like their autism is the only autism that a speaking adult could have. That any type of autism that could seriously affect one's life, must leave them to be a stereotypically level three person.

This belief has harmed me in trying to get disability support. I have nothing and I suffer severely every single day. Autism is my main disability and I am also officially diagnosed. I struggle heavily with working, driving, social interaction and self care. I have terrible meltdowns when I work and have burnouts so badly I often can't care for myself.

They often talk in a way that ignores people like me completely even if the spaces are general autism spaces and not, spaces made just for higher functioning folks. I'm tired of the disgust and the disrespect I get for having traits of my disability. I'm tired of being looked at like a failure because I cannot push through my burnout. That's not an option for me, if it comes down to having to push through or being homeless. I will sadly become homeless. I have an average IQ so not intellectual disabilities either. Why can't people just believe me that autism sucks?

It affects my life daily, throughout all parts. The lack of disability support because "level 1 isn't a disability, we can work just fine!" The idea that a lot of level 1 people push is genuinely killing me. I wake up everyday scared and frustrated because people never take me seriously that I need help. Even medical professionals genuinely treat me like I am not disabled and that I'm just fucking quirky. Despite my symptoms being documented and very well known autism symptoms. Not things I just pulled out of my ass or off of tik tok.

I don't hold hatred towards anyone, I just wish people who weren't disabled wouldn't speak for all of us. I just wish they would understand when it goes from "I'm not personally disabled by my autism", to "level 1 autism isn't really a disability". That shit genuinely hurts people like me, not just our feelings. Our wellbeing, it hurts our likelihood to get work, disability, food, medical support.ect

(screenshot from yt reels)

So, last year I moved to Europe for studies. In the winter it snows. Not like Russian Siberia but it snows enough that it causes issue for my electric wheelchair.

I have 'EZ Lite Cruiser Standard' model from the US. What are some ways I can modify my wheelchair so it becomes snow friendly? Like I have to go to a class and grocery store. Otherwise, I don't go out in snow.

I looked into snow chains and skis attachment but those are Not feasible for my wheelchair.

Thanks for interesting ideas!

Ok sweet, when I find a remote that doesn't need lots of experience then sure. Of course a disabled person, would be able to shine above all the other non disabled people and get the job(sarcasm ).

Telling people to get a remote job isn't disability advice, in fact I frankly think it's talking to disabled people like they're stupid. Most of us here, who need remote jobs. Have begged for them then have been told we're not entitled to them. That remote jobs should only be for the best of the best.

Which is it? That disabled people should get remote jobs as an out for not being on disability. Or that remote jobs are highly sought after, so the chances they'll choose a disabled person are very very slim. Unless your skill set is simply too high to deny.

I've always wanted to be a humanitarian/global health person. Imagined myself going about helping run emergency responses to disasters and working with local communities to improve disaster preparedness. Then I found out I need to live the rest of my life in places where I can easily get ambulance services, and poof goes that dream lol.

I got into medical school after Bachelor's and everyone congratulated me and I know it's a big achievement. But to me it just feels not enough. It's not that I'm not interested in or stimulated by medicine, but I just don't feel the burning passion inside me. I get close when I think about being a clinical academic who focuses on promoting equitable medicine/medical research, or about going into public health training (I'm in the UK), but then I'm hit with immense sadness that I'm here doing this because I can't do that.

The worst thing is my disability around mobility doesn't affect me every single day. I get occasional flare ups and a massively increased risks of accidents that would immobilise me instead. So when I don't feel any symptoms, I can't stop thinking well what if I'm in the field. What if I'm lucky and it doesn't happen. What if... And then I have to cut myself off because I know I'd be a liability in the field.

It's been a few years like this making it impossible to make career decisions. I feel like I need to really process this. If anyone could share any experience, self-help resources or therapists I'd be so grateful!

I am 25F, work part-time in early education, have a spotless record, and have Lupus.

This week I was pulled into an abrupt meeting with my 2 supervisors and our HR toward the end of my day. I was told that I had disclosed a qualifying disability and after 3 instances of this disability being brought up I was being offered accommodations.

This is red flags for me, though I know for most this could sound like an employer actually listening to them. For context, over the last 2 years, since our new HR started, 2 people with known health issues have been let go shortly after starting the accommodations process. So naturally I'm on edge, especially being employed in an 'At-Will' state.

The 3 instances they mentioned are when I 1.) disclosed my medications that could potentially pop on a drug test when our new policy was first rolled out. 2.) Mentioned a few months ago at a luncheon that I was getting a puppy in hopes of training him for service work. And finally 3.) I called out last week due to pain.

Now, my Lupus doesn't effect me greatly, though I do have the occasional flare-up that usually results in me calling out due to a fever or the inability to move my hands. I have been bounced from rheumatologist to rheumatologist due to insurance changes, disagreements in treatment, and doctors relocating. Currently I'm in the " Your appointment is in a week but the rheumatologist is going on a spontaneous trip so we need to reschedule you again 3 months from now" stage of seeing a new doctor.

Theres a plethora of details I could add but I don't feel like they'll add to the main question I have: Am I an asshole/stupid for not wanting the accommodations I didn't ask for?

I don't want to be labeled a problem employee, nor do I want them to be able to say my disability isn't something they can accommodate due to the nature of the job. Any advice would be great...

I have joint pain and flat feet and always wear sneakers. Last winter I tried surviving with sneakers only, as most boots make my feet and legs hurt. It didn't work well though (my feet go so cold and wet all of the time). Do you have recommendations for boots or warm shoes that aren't very heavy or stiff and support the feet? Thank you!

We have kitchen knives that are each made of one piece of stainless steel, as others tend to come apart after a while, so is there anything you can recommend that I can put on the handle to make it more grippable, that my kids can take off when they want to use the knives?

So for context I am allergic to the cold, so I have extreme limitations to the outside world from October to May. It makes it hard to go out and do anything, not impossible, but hard, and typically it is only safe for me to do things with people like my mom who understand exactly how I need to be accommodated. Because of my condition I spend significant amounts of time indoors, in my room.

One of my bestfriends has been amazing in understanding my condition and my limitations, and is okay with almost always meeting me at my level for hangouts, aka hanging out at my dorm room, because transportation is an issue for me. The thing is though is that even though its amazing that she is willing and happy to meet me at my level, I get so fucking sick of being trapped indoors in one place all the time. It makes me angry that we always have to hangout at my room because anything else is difficult for me. I see her go out and do fun things with other friends and go on trips, and I desperately want to do fun things like that with them too but most of the time I can't.

So it's like I'm so grateful she is happy meeting me at my level, but for her, hanging out in my room is temporary, and when she leaves she gets to go back to her friends who can do more than I can, and I don't have that option, I'm just fucking stuck here.

I'm just so frustrated and I know she is going to notice that something is wrong, but I dont know how to explain this feeling😭

I have spinal/joint issues, lately these are especially an impediment to me maintaining my apartment. I moved recently so there is a lot of unpacking to do, lots of items in boxes on the ground that need to be sorted through. Also lots of my storage are in cupboards or units that are low to the ground, so I need to get low to sort through a box, move to another location, and get often low again to put it away.

Unfortunately bending/lifting and repeatedly getting up and down hugely upset my pain. Ive been slowly unpacking a bit each day but it’s very slow and painful and usually upsets my body for the rest of the day.

I’m looking for some kind of mobility aid to help me with this. I’m considering a walker with a seat or a wheelchair, but these might be difficult to maneuver around my apartment and would be a big investment. Maybe a rolling seat could work if I can easily move it around?

Curious if anyone has suggestions for aids I haven’t thought of.

I wish it was easier to find someone to take care of you while going on a date. I have a lot of issues and I don’t want my caregiver to come with

Anyone know if this works? Vital FlexCore

https://offer.buyyourvitalflexcore.com/info/int/1/images/features_section_pc2.gif

My caretaker just fed me. It is my first and only meal of the day. For time reference I am Eastern Standard. So, even though I said I was hungry hours ago, and everyone in the house has eaten at least twice before now, dinner time 7:58pm. This is my first and only meal for the day. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t a regular occurrence.
Some days I am lucky enough to get breakfast but most days, it’s just dinner. I guess in hindsight, I should be thankful because their are some people who don’t even get that. (And this is the thought process that has kept me in these jacked up conditions for years.
I think it may be time to blow up my life.