I've since middle school had a weird tendency to soft punch myself or hit myself on the head. Does anyone else relate?

Does anyone have any good or bad experience with these medications?

I am obsessed with Vancouver in Canada. I absolutely love the place and I wish I could talk to someone about the place who actually is interested. Someone who actually cares.

I want to tell them about Bruno Mars visiting a Vietnamese restaurant there or about the life of a university student at UBC (the main university there).

In school I make as many projects as possible about it. For example recently in Media we were given the task to create a 5 minute lesson where we teach an audience something and of course I chose Vancouver. Specifically a brief history of the place. 5 minutes is so short though. It was difficult to make it so concise. History is hard to shorten because so much is relevant and important. But I mainly stuck to the points of its initial colonisation in 1886, Expo 86 in 1986 celebrating Vancouver's centennial and the music and film industry in the 21st century as Vancouver is known as Hollywood North. It has the 3rd best film industry just after New York and Los Angeles.

I just wish someone would listen rather than me almost having to force someone to listen with me making all my projects about it.

Also slightly off topic but I also wish there was more merch that I could get for Vancouver. Either it's the most basic stuff like a cheap mug with the word Vancouver on it or it's something that won't ship to my country. Also I should mention that I don't actually live in Vancouver. Actually nowhere near it.

I just wish I wasn't judged for liking the city. I wish I didn't have to explain to every new person why I like it.

Sorry if this is weirdly written I was originally gonna post in the rant subreddit but I got kinda scared cos they can be mean over there so I just copied and pasted here

The reason I say this is because Ive seen quite a bit of discourse recently on tiktok - lots of autistic people make posts about how difficult it is to constantly be expected to adhere to the social rules and standards that have been created by allistic people and also posts along the lines of 'allistic people hate autistic people for just being autistic.'

Non autistic people in turn lash back with statements along the lines of "we don't hate you because you're autistic we hate you because you're rude," or, "when autistic people complain about not understanding social rules but they're just being rude"

The problem here isn't that either side is wrong. Both sides make good points. The problem is non autistic people just absolutely fail to consider the fact that their brains are entirely different to autistic peoples. Autistic people do not think or function in the same way as non autistic people so obviously what's common sense to non autistic people just isn't to autistic people.

The definition of "not being rude" to both parties can be entirely different, the only thing is on the neurotypical definition of what's 'not rude' is the socially acceptable one and therefore autistic people have to learn to adapt to that - which doesn't come easily to them. Therefore they will make mistakes and come across as rude or unkind sometimes but because neurotypical people haven't grasped that someone could possibly think in the same way, instead of ever politely correcting the autistic person, they'll simply decide they're a bad person. From the autistic person's perspective, they haven't done anything wrong at all so the only explanation to them is that this non autistic person has just started hating them 'for no reason'.

An example of this is that I saw someone complaining about an autistic person who told them that their curly hair was 'frizzy and ugly'. To neurotypical people, this is obviously rude. As an autistic person who is learning to adapt to the neurotypical perspective on the world, this is obviously rude. However, to a less socially aware autistic person, this genuinely might not come across as being rude - which can be mind blowing to non autistic people. The autistic part of me argues that it would actually be ruder to not tell somebody the objective truth about what they look like - I myself have had to hold back saying unkind things to people in the past because I know it'll be rude in their head, but not in mine. And I get genuinely offended when people give me fake compliments, but I understand that that's just what's polite to them.

That's not to say that I think neurotypical people don't have a right to be offended when a socially unaware autistic person hurts their feelings, but I wish they'd just acknowledge that the social standards and rules are common sense only to them and just give people with differently developed brains a chance to adapt to that. Especially considering that adhering to social rules and standards can be genuinely exhausting for autistic people because it doesn't come naturally to them at all, so there will always be slip ups. Even something as simple as showing emotions might not come naturally to autistic people and has to be almost a show in order for allistic people to not be offended.

I'm autistic, nearly 40, can't drive, sex repulsed, work part time, live with my family, no friends in this city.

All that is just too many big things wrong with me.

I am actually somewhat attractive, kind, and relatively intelligent so it sometimes surprises people I cant form a relationship (they dont know all of the big flaws). I can get matches online but it fizzles out when I say muy living situation.

I had a few romantic relationships years ago when I did live independently and I was younger so women saw past not driving and stuff when aged in my twenties.

Its hard to make peace with. Is anyone going through a similar feeling?

I do feel like I'm a decent human and worthy of love but I also know that my flaws slare deal breakers to most 40 year old women

A lot of people love to say that they're supportive of autistic people and that they don't judge us for the unusual things that we think, say, or do. People love to act supportive. But as soon as I mention issues with hygeine, or sex, or having taboo special interests, even in autism-friendly places like this subreddit, I get criticized, downvoted, reported, etc. for sharing my experience. And it's very frustrating because like every disability, autism has a side that's hidden from view that can make people feel isolated, or like they're wrong for feeling the way they do.

I just wish that people weren't so quick to demonize everything they personally don't understand.

I have kept mine despite no longer being a child. My older sibling thinks it's childish but they don't have autism so they don't get it. My soft toys bring me comfort.

I've asked him why and he has no logical reason. He says it's empty (it's not) and wastes electricity. I've explained that it uses very little electricity and keeps the cat calm (cat used to attack the windows when he would see a cat outside). I asked him to stop unplugging it but he keeps unplugging it. I don't understand why. Any thoughts? He's 26, level 2.

I'm so mad right now. There's this girl at school who used to literally make fun of me for how I do certain things. Now that autism is 'trending' on TikTok, she's claiming to be autistic. All of her interests are based on TikTok, and I don't mind when someone's interests are trendy. I just mind when they used to make fun of me for an interest, and now they're the ones liking it! And they claim it to be niche. No, dude, Vocaloid is not niche. Creepypasta is not niche. Not everything is niche. She's just performative as hell and it just makes me angry. Sensory problems can be separated from autism; it's just that most autistic people have sensory problems, but not everyone with SPD has ASD! The reason why I say this is because she claims to have sensory issues, but honestly, that's all the things that makes her feel she's autistic (and her 'rare niche unusual weird' interests that neurotypical people would never like (and they would like it she just thinks she’s different) ). It makes me angry!! Honestly, I might even stop calling myself autistic even though I actually am, just so that I'm not associated with this girl! 
She will never understand the struggles that I went through. I masked for two years straight and now I'm incapable of masking. Even though I wouldn't say my interests are rare, I still get made fun of. I feel like everything I do is wrong and I feel like an alien. 
But she was blessed. She had friends. She was popular. Like, dude. And most importantly, she fit in. 🙂 
It's ok to want to be unique, but forcing it isn't cool. I'm upset because I feel belittled. 🙃

I'm 15kg/33lbs overweight and that number is increasing every week so I'm seeking insight here as a last ditch effort before it spirals completely out of my control.

I have this stupid idea in my head that I can either eat nothing or in crazy excess (no in between), and the former rarely happens so I'm just constantly eating in a 3k/4k calorie surplus.

I need extreme quantities of flavours to be satiated or it feels as though I haven't eaten at all. That means using half a jar of nutella to smother on top of weetabix instead of a couple tablespoons, or absolutely drowning whatever it is in chilli sauce to the extent where there's more sauce than actual food

I think the above has contributed to the all-or-nothing mindset because my meals become so calorie dense in the first place that it's impossible eat even one of them without overeating for the day, so I 'fuck it I'm a lost cause anyways' to gorging myself till I feel sick.

On top of that, my ultimate safe food within budget is chicken burgers and fries so that's not exactly ideal.

I'm completely sedentary too because I don't have the energy to shower twice a day instead of once which would be necessary if I was doing exercise (even light forms like 10k steps). I can't use the treadmill at home due to it making too much noise and I can't leave the house because I have a rule where I HAVE to shower beforehand even if I'm relatively clean and going to have to after regardless. Not to mention being outside is really difficult for me to begin with.

Just as I write this I've downed a whole bag of 450g of almonds post eating weetabix and nutella it's actually over bro. My thyroids messed up too so it's even more hopeless.

I feel so disgusting, lost and defeated and forcing starvation feels like the only way out of becoming morbidly obese before I'm 20 (I'm 17).

I wrote this post to highlight how autism is such a debilitating disability that it takes being rich just to make the condition livable. I’m also curious how others are coping with autism, so please leave a comment.

Wealth doesn’t fix the crippling social awkwardness, anxiety, or exhaustion, but it does the following:

• Dating locally was nearly impossible for me as an autistic man, so I paid for a foreign dating service where I met my Philippine wife. She’s my rock and I can’t imagine my life without her.
• I work in a machine shop 10 hours a day not because I have to but because I want to. I can’t imagine the stress of being forced to work or facing homelessness.
• I have 2x doggos who make my every day 10x better. I can’t imagine my life if I couldn’t afford these expensive brats.
• I went through a period in my 20s struggling with executive dysfunction, which I treated with psychedelic treatments. I’d probably be dead (suicide) if I couldn’t afford those treatments.
• Going on trips and out on the town with my wife helps me clear my head and get unstuck mentally. I can’t imagine my life if I couldn’t afford to get out.
• I visit her family and my family regularly, which helps keep everyone close. I can’t imagine my life if I couldn’t afford to visit family.
• Having my wife in my life gives me the energy and motivation to cook, clean, do laundry, do the dishes, get groceries, and other chores. My life was absolutely miserable lacking energy before I met her. 

How are you dealing with autism? How do you fill your time? How do you avoid feeling stuck in a life situation you can’t get out of? Leave a comment.

I, at almost 33 years old, got diagnosed last week with Level 1 ASD after working with my psychiatrist over what I thought would be a different diagnosis. I am still reckoning with what this means for my life.

I told my best friend about it, knowing that she has a kid who is also working through her own kid’s diagnosis. We share everything so I didn’t think much of it to share my news when we met up today, as we’re also coworkers who finally found time to connect.

Within 10 minutes, she started making comments about education, saying “As you know, schools typically put people with these diagnoses in the lower level or special classes and I want my kid to be in the academic classes”. Then, later tonight, she sent me a poster for an “adult summer camp for improving social skills”, saying I should look into this.

She knows I’m in grad school and had zero academic problems. I know she has her own experience with ASD with her kid but I feel like her perception of me has changed so quickly and that I’m now viewed as “less than” in her life.

Is this what it’s like now? You share your ASD with anyone and you then can’t be taken seriously?

I was telling my dad I got a 4th date this year today. I said naturally I was excited. This should be a fairly pleasant normal moment for most young adult and parent conversations. He screamed at me and said I was misleading woman. Naturally I was confused so I showed him the photos I put up which were all legit (nice photos but everyone does that on apps and I showed all unedited body and face pictures).

So then he said no your photos are fine but you are misleading them because you are obviously mentally disabled in person and can't hide it. I said well maybe it's not that bad and he kept yelling at me on how it is and how most of them probably went "what the fuck" after.

I want to cry I never chose to be mentally disabled and it's not like NT people disclose all their perceived negative personality traits on apps. So how is me not saying I'm autistic on the app not comparable. It's such bullshit I don't think I'm a bad dishonest person. I wish I could not be disabled.

Sometimes I have Moments that I replay over and over.

Like in videos - a hand movement or a specific way of saying something. I replay those videos again and again because it weirdly scratches my brain.

Today I had it in real life. Just a look. I was looking at my colleague for reassurance, she nodded and we went on with the work.

Its not like theres still a question of "did I do something wrong?" Or "is she judging me?"

Nothing like that. I just replay the rhythm of the moment and her nod. Its on repeat!!!

Does anyone know what i mean? I read about "stimming" - can it be something similar? Is there a word for it?

I feel crazy when that happens...

My girlfriend left me over a year ago, she was my first serious relationship and possibly the second most trusted person in my life after my best friend. I do not have a problem with the fact she broke up with me, nor do I feel any bitterness or resentment. Additionally, I do not miss her in the sense that I do not think of her directly, but I do miss having a partner – even though I do not intend to get into a relationship for the near future as I am moving from the UK to Switzerland. However, the break-up resulted in me becoming severely depressed and for other comorbidities to reemerge, thus requiring mental health support (therapy etc.) and medication. I am posting here because I am diagnosed with autism, and I do not have any friends who share the same diagnosis.

Effectively, not more than 45 minutes ago, I was sat on the second floor of one of my university’s libraries and I saw her walking in to the building out of the window. The moment my brain percieved she was there, I started to feel my heart drop, my hands become clammy and to feel a sense of fear – like exestential fear. So bad, in fact, that I immediately collected my things and speed-walked out of the library, through Liverpool, and to the station, where I am now on a train home about four hours earlier than I originally intended. My movement through the city felt compulsive, and I do not have any dark thoughts, but my heart is pounding through my chest still, to the point that I feel a little light-headed.

The only time I have felt something similar is when I downloaded Hinge and I saw her profile, and it brought me down to tears and scared me off the app. This was ca. 3 months ago. It was so bad that during my job over the summer, I would see in my vision the profile and the phrase ‘kurzfristige Beheizungen’ as if it was superimposed over what I was looking at when I entered one bedroom flats, and would feel a deep sense of sorrow. I will reiterate, I do not have a problem with her doing what she likes, but I have a problem with my reaction to it, as with what happened today.

My concern is that my physical reactions to seeing my ex will put me totally off relationships all together, and will not put me in good stead as I move on with my life. I have declined entering relationships when offered for the last year, and cancelled subsequent dates because I am justifying it with that I do not want to commit to something which will end on a fixed date, but I fear that when I am over in Switzerland I will continue to keep myself closed off. I fear also that if I was to enter a relationship and it was to end, and I was not to be moving 1000 km from where they frequented, that I would not be able to cope with seeing them or being around them. As it should be obvious, this does not satisfy what would be reasonably be expected of an adult – autistic or otherwise.

I am posting this because I want to ask: is this overwhelming physical and emotional reaction a common experience, and if so, does it get better?

Does anyone else relate? Anyone have any tips?

When I go out I always feel physically and emotionally and mentally EXHAUSTED.

For example this morning I went to a community shop and I was there less than an hour. I felt uncomfortable there but I coped, I talked to people and made eye contact and I coped fine in the moment even if I did feel uncomfortable. But as soon as I'm home I feel like I've been swimming for hours. My body feels like jelly I feel almost achy and so so tired. I feel like crying and going to bed. I feel just like everything was so overwhelming and now I feel like I cannot cope with any other stimulation now. I want to just be in silence.

Does anyone else relate to this?

I'm diagnosed as autistic and this just seems to be my life, anytime I go out this happens and it's so exhausting. Does anyone have any tips??

Hello, everyone!

I work within the autism community and we are currently developing a mascot to have at events.

The mascot is a cat and we are trying to name her. We are considering Chili, Pepper, or Spice. What do you think of those names? Or should we go with another name entirely?

I'm a 31 years old autistic Canadian who been living in Ontario since I was born.

I had volunteered at a cat shelter, did two high school co-ops as a jantior, did two newspaper delivery, and spent five years working in retail.

Now idk what to do as work. I want a job that pays good and doesn't need math(I only have made to grade 11 math when graduating).

Because rent here in Ontario is very pricey and disability income isn't eoungh to live off of.

I don't have many friends which means I will struggle to find a roommate I turst.

Hopefully I will find a job that can pay the rent.

Hi there
I’m autistic and ADHD but feel like over the years while going through a few abusive relationships and being in survival mode all the time, I’ve lost some kind of spark in myself that I’m desperately trying to rebuild.
I was recently invited to a PowerPoint party where everyone talks about a special interest and while preparing for it and brainstorming what to talk about, my brain went blank. It’s not like I don’t have special interests, I just genuinely don’t know how to talk about them or get excited about them around other people. I freeze up.

I’m expressive in some ways that feel comfy like fun fashion, but I have a hard time infodumping without getting frozen or clamming up. Maybe it’s years of invalidation or people with fragile egos trying to put me down for being knowledgeable about something? I always feel like an imposter or like I’m not good enough at something to talk about it.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you break out of the insecurity?
I’m spending more time on affirmations and also just letting myself enjoy things that I like in my own time instead of zoning out as much. Anything else?

“You’re a grown-up, act like one.”

You probably have been told this or similar by others, especially us older folks. Well it so happens that there are system requirements that need to be met before this particular brain program can run. I just found this out in my 40’s, so essentially I was trying to act as an adult while running child.exe.

I just found this out today and I figured out what my unmet dependency was a few days ago. Well my brain did, I won’t go into details because it would be different for everyone, but the brain can gain new abilities even when you’re old. I gained two the past year, it’s related to sound and music, and it’s an innate ability.

This explains why we never “grow up” even when the physical self ages. And also why as adults you can lose childhood interests. They are distinct programs that runs on the brain, for NTs it’s a seamless (not really) transition but for some of us the program errored out, so we’re stuck running a more primitive program.

It also explains why burnout happens, your Brain OS isn’t running the correct program. You compensate by masking which can sorta work until you hit the burnout cycle after major life events. Autistic burnout is the end result, myself included, because you’re expected to act in a way different than what is the default setting.

TL;dr: You’re a Pichu in a Raichu body because the evolution wasn’t completed properly, and everyone expects you to do Raichu skills.

Hi everyone! I (23 M) have been living by a new set of rules the past couple months and it truly has changed my life in a positive way. I’m sure many of you have heard of the trend looksmaxxing, which I think is quite dumb, but as a sort of inside joke with myself, I have been calling what I have been doing lately comfortmaxxing.

As an autistic person, I had gotten used to putting other people’s comfort above my own as well as sacrificing my own comfort for the approval of others. I understand better now that I have different needs from most of my peers, family, co-workers, etc. We are highly sensitive people and that’s okay. We are prone to excessive stress and burnout and it is important that we take care of ourselves to protect against our vulnerabilities.

To give some examples of what I do to comfortmaxx, here is a list of changes I have made in my life that have brought me joy, physical comfort, mental comfort, and relaxation:

• Started using satin sheets and pillowcases on my bed (it’s healthier for your skin and hair plus it isn’t a sensory nightmare compared to other materials).
• Keeping a skincare routine (I already did this, but I have been sticking to it a little harder and have done more relaxing treats for myself like using face masks now and then).
• Lighting scented candles (awesome sensory experience and lavender scent is super relaxing).
• Started moisturizing my body (especially my feet, this has minimized feelings of dryness which were often uncomfortable and sometimes even painful because my skin would get so dry that it would crack and split open).
• Started carrying around my earplugs and ear defenders wherever I go (has saved me on more than one occasion).
• Bought a weighted lap pad and a weighted blanket (it is a very pleasant feeling and I feel that it helps me sleep better).
• Bought a blackout sleeping mask (feels super comfortable on my face and doesn’t cause any sensory issues, in fact I like the slight pressure and padding, plus I am a night shifter so I sleep during the day and this makes it a lot easier to stay asleep).
• Started wearing comfortable socks (got myself a few pairs of cozy socks and several types of compression socks).
• Started wearing compression gear and braces where I need it (autism and hypermobility go hand in hand, so it is important to take care of your joints).
• Making an effort to combine style and comfortable clothing, while prioritizing comfort over how I think people will perceive my outfits (I donated all of my clothing that I don’t frequently wear, mostly because of sensory aversions and preferring to wear oversized clothing, I try to dress nice but I always put my comfort first so I have stopped caring if my outfit looks weird by average standards).
• Cleaning living spaces (when you have the mental capacity and energy to do so of course, but having a clean living space relieved so much stress that had been building up on me).
• Having a stuffed animal with you (I kept stuffies well into my late teenage years before I wanted to try and fit in and seem more “adult” by having a plain bed, I find that having something cute and soft to cuddle relieves a lot of stress and I like to even take one with me if I am hanging out with a friend or am in an environment where I know I won’t be judged for carrying a stuffie with me, bonus points if it is a weighted or scented stuffie).
• Eat what makes you happy (I already do this because food and eating is a big part of my culture, but I feel like a lot of people need to hear this: have that sweet treat even if there is no nutritional value, have that candy bar or get yourself that pint of ice cream and don’t feel guilty about it, Yes, it’s extremely important to get all the nutrients you need but food should be something that brings you joy as well, ARFID is very common among autistics so don’t feel bad about eating the same comfort foods time after time or day after day, as long as your health is not in danger— eat what makes you truly happy).
• Reading (helps your mind escape, plus I have been reading autism self-advocacy books and have been learning A LOT and subsequently how to put my comfort first as an autistic person).

The question for this sub:

Now I want to know from others in the comments, what do you do, whether intentionally or not, to comfortmaxx as an autistic person?

I have a long lasting special interest, that really behaves more like a hyperfixation (I am completely obsessed with it, I only want to talk about it and work with it) but it is some that is not just taboo, but also unknown of. I wish I was into dinosaurs or trains or a cringe cartoon or something.. but instead my special interest is the rape and sexual harassment of German soldiers under WWII(1939 - 1935). I wish I was kidding. I can’t even speak with it to a historian, because even a historian won’t know of it. That is how bad it is. But I only want to engage with it SO BADLY and despite having the interest since 2015 it’s not going away and it doesn’t regulate me at all, it just makes me crazy because I can’t talk about it.

The tags aren't quite accurate because we're mainly sharing experiences, But there was a time when I was really into putting things in my pocket, like on my back, just casually. And lately I've been into wearing headphones, sometimes I don't even listen to anything, I just like it because it feels strangely good. Has anyone else experienced this? And I'd also appreciate recommendations for things that don't cause these kinds of physical problems.