I'm just curious!!! Does anyone else identify as pansexual and bisexual?

Am I restricting my girlfriend?

I am a lesbian with a bisexual partner. I wholeheartedly support lesbian for lesbian,but I personally go for anybody who experiences attraction towards women regardless of the label(lesbian,bisexual,pansexual,omnisexual,ect). I’m open to all experiences.

My girlfriend and I have always spoken openly about our experiences with our romantic and sexual orrientation.
I often send her videos of women who I find pretty,and *on occasion* men—I can recognize aesthetic beauty without feeling anything. She does the very same and I have fun discussing what we find enticing in the attractive people in question.
However,the videos she sends have pivoted towards exclusively men. I had no problem with that,she experiences attraction towards men and women and is entitled to express that as she pleases. But,it is just getting exhausting and repetitive. It has been weeks on end. While I hate to be selfish,I feel a tad insecure and can’t help but believe that her attraction towards men may hinder our relationship.
I discussed this with her recently and it was quite the event. It was my fault,since the opening statement was a suspiciously cautious "Are you straight?". I tend to be blunt and rush straight to the point,but I find that this was out of hand. She began telling me that she thought I accepted her as she was and that I didn’t have to lie about it. I never lied about that,I just noticed quite the drastic change and pointed it out. She brought back conversations from the past where I had innocently asked her how strong her preference towards men was(since she is male pref). I had never minded it,it was a question to understand her experience. A question that I had not known would later become an accusation of biphobia. She told me that she might as well call me bisexual because of the very few times that I complimented men. Now,this especially got to me since this was used against me very frequently all of the time and still is today. She knows this,but I will give her the benefit of the doubt that she had forgotten in the heat of the moment. I told her that if she wanted to express her preference towards men,she very well could,but the countless videos of shirtless men devoid of any woman in sight simply made me uncomfortable in excess. She told me that I was restricting her. Which is true,but I feel like I have somewhat of a valid reason to do so.

I am not telling her to not find men attractive or not view those videos,she can do as she pleases. But,it is simply not my thing in excess. I also worry I have unintentionally reinforced a fear or insecurity in her bisexuality,like the assumption that bisexual women are simply straight or not queer enough,which I do not believe it. Of course,it all relies on how it landed on her. I’ve reopened the conversation since then and clarified my intent behind the question,as well as appologized for my blunt opening statement. She says that it was hurtful,but is largely fine at the moment and advises we communicate better. I feel like she is lying,though I’m probably projecting my own unforgiving and sensitive nature. I feel like I have broken something that can never be repaired. I know how sensitive the topic is for both of us and triggering that makes me uncomfortable.

Hola! Soy nueva en reddit pero tengo una pregunta que he querido a hacerle a muchas personas pero soy muy timida para preguntar en persona..

Esta pregunta va dirigida a cualquier persona que guste responder:

Como persona que alguna vez estuvo casada con alguien del género opuesto (hetero), y luego de estar casad@ descubrió que le gustaba gente de su mismo género.

¿Creen que eso era algo que siempre estuvo en ustedes, talvez reprimido, o creen que nació de un momento a otro?

Espero nada de lo que dije fuera ofensivo... si es así porfa véanse en la libertad de corregirme.

hello. 23 F here! sorry if my wording is horrible. i'm very much in distress over this (and english isn't my first language)

i've had this thought for a while. i think it's always sitting in the back of my mind, and every so often it comes out. i want to explore my attraction to women. i've only ever had one girlfriend, when i was a teen. that relationship only lasted a few months (less than half a year). other than that, i've only had boyfriends. now i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years.

i'm fairly sure i'm bi. that label feels right for me, and i've identified as bi since i discovered what being queer was. but i feel unhappy with my queerness. i feel like something is missing?? i feel like i haven't experienced being with a woman enough to be comfortable with my identity (i hope that makes sense). this has gotten so bad that i question if i'm actually bi or if i'm a lesbian. this questioning and "unfulfilled-ness" has been going on for years (before i even met my boyfriend). i've had this thought before with my ex-boyfriends, but i thought it was because i was unhappy with them (due to them being toxic, etc.).

i'm genuinely just so confused??? what do i do? i don't want to break up with my boyfriend. but i feel like if i don't explore more, this will bother me for the rest of my life. and no, cheating is NOT an option. i've had some conversations with my boyfriend about having an open relationship, but he's always been against it. i really am lost right now. i've read every reddit post with a similar experience and i still don't know what to do.

again, sorry if this doesn't make sense lol. its almost 5am where i am, so this is very much keeping me up.

any thoughts or advice would be appreciated greatly!

This is a throw away account cuz my family follows me on my main account.

I (22m) often fantasize about men and imagine myself romantically with a man. When I watch porn, I’m more focused on the man than the woman, and thinking about pleasing him. I’m attracted to men, all my celebrity crushes are on men, but when I imagine myself in a gay relationship, I’m disgusted by the very thought. I don’t wanna be in a gay relationship, I just wanna be in a normal relationship where we’re both men. I get grossed out whenever I see two men kissing, I can’t watch gay porn for the same reason, and when I hear a man mention his boyfriend, I feel jealous but also cringe at the same time. I get so jealous when I hear women talk about their celebrity crushes, I wanna chime in and agree with them or mention mine, but then they are gonna be perceiving me as gay and I don’t like that. I would strictly be a bottom and side cuz for some reason it feels more normal for me. If I top a man, it makes me feel really guilty and self conscious and disgusted. I like women too, but I feel more like that’s what I’m supposed to want, knowing my parents want me to have a wife and kids and do the whole American dream thing, but that feels so limiting to me. If I were a woman, I’d be the straightest woman you’ve ever met, and I wouldn’t have to feel guilty about my attractions.
Thanks if you read my rant, any advice is appreciated.

Any advice for a woman in a "straight" relationship going to an LGBT party? Organizers say they are straight friendly, but their event is titled in a way that mentions only gays, lesbians, trans people... And I guess the straights 😂 Bi people subtly left out once again. I know no one there is the orientation police, but some people there know me as a married woman. No one ever says anything, it's just the way I feel inside I guess. Seeking support...

Hola! Quería contarles algo porque hace un tiempo vengo teniendo dudas sobre mi sexualidad y me gustaría leer experiencias de otras personas.
Siempre me gustaron los hombres, pero también hay mujeres que me parecen demasiado lindas hasta el punto que me hicieron dudar jeje, el tema es que nunca estuve con una mujer, aunque sí me di besos con amigas, y no sé bien cómo identificar mi orientación sexual.
Me gustaría estar con una mujer para descubrir qué siento, pero al mismo tiempo me cuesta imaginarme en una relación con una. No sé si soy bisexual o si todavía estoy descubriendo lo que me gusta.

My husband of 10+ years came out to me as bi. I’m a straight female. He’s never been with a guy and for religious reasons suppressed this for years. He’s been depressed and going to therapy and I didn’t know why, until I found messages with a guy on his phone he was befriending. The messages seemed intense and even though there was no official line crossing, the whole exchange was a red flag for me and I brought it up and he came out. Turns out he was working toward telling me. I honestly don’t care if he’s bi because we’ve had great intimacy, both initiate, and he says all of that was real for him.
My worry is that I found out he’s hidden things for our entire relationship, like gay porn, going to the gym so he could get a glimpse of someone, being on this friendship app to get validation. He’s never cheated, but the most recent messages I found were the verge of an emotional affair, and he was purposefully hiding it.

He says he doesn’t know what he wants, because he wants me and our life but he also wants these other things.

I’m sad, mad, confused, all the things, cause I love this man and I’m terrified he’ll choose a different life. He says he doesn’t trust himself because he’s hidden for so long.

Do you think we can make it as a mixed orientation couple? Great communication, great intimacy, great life together…. I just don’t know if I can give him what he actually wants.

EDIT I should have added the faith element here - we are practicing Christians and have kids. Even though I am open and feel genuinely accepting of his sexuality as long as he’s being honest about our attraction to each other, I don’t think he feels there are lots of options when it comes to fulfilling these desires. It feels like a lose lose for him. He loses us or he loses this part of him. I think we can celebrate both but it’s confusing in the religious context.

After getting to the age of 60 I can honestly say a girl/woman's looks didn't matter at all, as long as we got on well that's all that counted but since 60 I have been meeting guys.

We chat online for ages, swap body pics everything going swimmingly until they send a face pic then suddenly it's,

"Oh no I couldnt", I totally understand I'm not going to meet George Michael everytime but I'm a "No", to 19 out of 20.

Is this a common thing or just me being a fussy sod?.

As a bisexual trans girl (maybe, not sure yet)

Is it ok to prefer heterosexual relationships?

Been wondering that for a bit

Hi everyone! I need some advice on this.

So basically I’m 18 and I’ve always called my self bisexual. I’ve never been in a relationship with a man or woman.

So I thought I was bisexual because when I was about 15 I had a massive crush on this girl that I was friends with and I felt like I loved her (even though it was just a crush) and after this I had small crushes on other girls.

But as I’ve gotten older I haven’t really had any crushes or feelings for women. I do see some women and I might feel something about them but I think it’s more from a place of admiration? than attraction.

Just now I feel like I’m exclusively attracted to men.

m17, a giugno circa mi sono innamorato follemente di un uomo(con cui non è andata bene, ma sono ancora innamorato di lui), pur essendo sempre stato attratto da donne, e da circa 1/2 mesi mi sento attratto anche dagli uomini, solo che avvolte mi chiedo se questa attrazione sia reale o se sia solo perché mi sono innamorato di un singolo uomo e mi sia in qualche modo convinto di essere bisessuale, questo mi succede soprattutto quando vedo una donna per cui provo attrazione, mi domando appunto se la mia attrazione per gli uomini sia "vera", secondo voi perché?

I’m a 35yo Male, I’m had my fair share of guys over the years. I found myself watching straight porn and managed to get aroused finished myself off!! I don’t look at a females in that way. Oh idk 🤷‍♂️

Like i either feel a straight girl when i fantasize about men or gay when i fantasize about women.

Like i imagine a completely different future when i think about guys or when i think of women.

It honestly confuses my mind cause I feel romantic and sexual attraction very intensely.(I have ADHD)

Sometimes I kinda want a girlfriend and boyfriend tbh

But not sure if i can actually date two people i am very insecure and untrusting of people

Do you feel the same way?

So my only friend is Christian, im not judging him for it I'm pretty neutral abt religion, and even though he thankfully respects me and my sexually (atleast I hope) he does tend to always try to "recommend" me converting to being Christian

Now I don't want to flat out tell him to stop, I believe that's kinda his way of caring for me, and I'm afraid of if I did tell him to stop he'd stop being my friend (doesn't make sense but I've lost friends for less), and he's literally my only friend

So I just wanted to ask, how do yall deal with friends, or other people, that try converting you to their religion?

I won't really answer comments, I rarely do, but I might I don't know I gotta go.

Edit: just in case, he isn't pressuring me to convert, it's like mentioning small things like "ask me anything about god" or "im here if you need to seek god" or other things I can't describe well, best I can describe it is "slight recommendations"

Hey all, if this matters I’m a bi woman whos in love with a good friend, also a woman. Please don’t come after me idk if I’m posting in the right sub but yea

The past 2 years I’ve been in love with my friend I think😭😭 and it’s hard to tell if she feels the same because she’s naturally touchy and loves giving words of affirmations, so she’s always very lovey with me language and action wise which obviously confuses me. By touchy I mean she would “hold my waist while we’re walking around and touch my inner thighs while we’re under the cover” touchy btw Obvsly friends don’t do this, or any straight female wouldn’t enjoy this or do it right????? Or do they???? Also a few friends have commented on how “gay” we act together, idk if that’s a sign or anyth. A friend even came up to me to ask if we’re dating because we’re just that close

Now she’s overseas for a long period of time so the below happened via text:
And it got ramped up even more recently, we would send reels to eo that’s wlw coded like sending vids of girls kissing, or wlw jokes like scissoring or whatever. And she always calls me pet names (only me) and texts me stuff like ily and baby and whenever I tell her that she’s just playing with me, or whatever she wld always answer ambiguously that she has never said that, basically she doesn’t deny it directly. I do know she tells other friends she loves them so, maybe I’m just thinking too much 🤡

I got tired so the past few days I’ve been building up to asking her directly if she likes me more than a friend. Initially when I was being indirect by asking stuff like if she’s kidding she wld say noooo but I asked more directly after awhile if she likes me more than a friend, and she said no.

I’m srsly hurt and can’t take these games anym, i don’t wanna be pining for someone who might not even like me, and I guess I should also distance myself from her???? But idk how to do that because we’ve literally been besties for 2 years now. Btw I’m not out and 24, so I do feel like time is ticking for me. I do wanna find my person soon and I just feel like her confirming yesterday that she doesn’t like me romantically is a sign I should take. I know she probably might not mean to play me, maybe she just thought our dynamic was close friends dynamics, and perhaps it’s my fault too because sometimes I do mask myself as liking men exclusively only, but that’s also because I’m not out of the closet and ts defo not safe for me to do so (even though ik my friends would be supportive).

Idrk what to expect from this post, I’m just venting. But yea oh wells.

i’m 22F and recently came out as bisexual, because i'm dating a girl for the first time, she is 26F. i am so happy and crazy in love.

my dad was pretty chill and mostly just wanted to make sure i was okay. my mom has taken it really badly, which honestly caught me off guard. we’re not religious, and neither of my parents had ever shown any issue with queer people. we have several LGBTQ+ family members and friends, including my mother's goddaughter (my cousin, whom she loves and accepts so deeply), so i never expected things to be this different when it was me.

she’s told me she put all her happiness in me and now her life is over. she keeps asking where her little girl went and saying she doesn’t recognize me anymore. she says she accepts and respects me, but then tells me how sad she is and how the future she imagined for me is gone, no marriage, no nice boy, no grandkids (although i did say these things can in fact come along).

i’m still here. i’m still her daughter, regardless. i don’t know how to respond when she talks like she’s lost me, because from my side it feels like i’m losing my relationship with her just for being honest.

we are extremely close, and i’m really sad. i love her and want her in my life. i know i can’t give her a timeline or make her accept this, but right now i could really use some hope that it won’t always feel like this. it's been one week and one day.

she doesn’t want to talk to me, and when she does, she either yells at me in person or sends me messages in all caps. i don’t know how to reach her when every attempt to talk seems to make things worse.

my girlfriend has been incredibly supportive, and so have my friends and my dad. he and i don’t really talk much, but i know i can count on him. i’m grateful for all of them, but i still miss my mom. i miss how we were before i told her. now, when she looks at me, all i can see is anger and what feels like hatred.

if your parents reacted similarly and eventually came around, how long did it take? what did “coming around” actually look like? was there anything that helped, or did they mostly need time? and how did you get through that period without feeling guilty for their unhappiness? are there any books i could read or any resources i could share with her?

Original post

It’s been roughly two and a half weeks since I last posted. Since then, my friend and I have gotten really close again. We would FaceTime almost every night and text occasionally throughout the day, even though she lives 9 hours ahead of me and her time zone is 1 hour ahead.

However, starting last Friday, I noticed that she became pretty distant with me. Yesterday, she texted me and told me that she was seeing a guy.

Of course, it absolutely wrecked me. I knew that eventually we would have to go our separate ways, but I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, especially when things between us had been going so well.

I love her so much, and I genuinely want her to be happy, even if that means she ends up loving someone else. I'm scared that our friendship is slowly going to fade away, and I just miss how things used to be.

Has anyone else ever experienced something like this with a close friend? Or am I just overthinking this whole thing??

I'm mostly posting this curious if anyone else has had a similar experience.

I (M) have had the wonderful privilege of marrying my best friend (F) over 10+ years ago. We both grew up in a fundamentalist Christian religion (cult?) that we have both left.

About a year and a half ago, my wife came out to me as bi. I didn't think much of it. She assured me that our monogamous marriage was working for her, but she wanted to come out to me first, because we are best friends and confidants.

Well, personally, I've always thought I've had odd... Questions and feelings from time to time. With a kind of distant, odd thought that "well, maybe I'm bi." Kind of a distant idea. Growing up in a repressive environment, it can be hard later in life to figure things out; the childhood experience really doesn't allow for natural self discovery and development. I have known since I was a boy I liked women, so I just felt like maybe it never occurred to me to check?

Recently I had an evening all to myself and blessing better to do on a Monday, I thought I might "get to the bottom" of my sexuality. I felt a bit like a 7th grader again, googling "cute boys kissing."

Well, after having the space to do so, I have come to the conclusion that, yes, I am a bisexual man. And honestly, of all the things I've had to accept about myself, this really didn't feel bad at all.

What I did not expect, was that all of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, I would start noticing men. Like, arms at the gym, or how some men's eyes light up when interacting with other people or the things they are interested in... Before this, it's as if I had a mental blindspot about looking too closely at men. Almost as if I have been subconsciously avoiding it, and then as I was able to accept myself the blindspot suddenly is gone?

It's been a very surreal. Not something I had on my bingo card. Though in retrospect it does seem kind of obvious. I'm grateful to have a spouse that is in the exact same boat, and she reported similar experiences after coming out as well.

Anyway, I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience, especially those who have come out in midlife or later. I'm really glad I'm at a point in my life where something like this is a fun development, and not a scary one. I suspect religious trauma likely plays a role, I'm sure when I was younger it's not that it didn't occur to me to check, I was likely just way too scared.

Oh man here it goes…this is gotten kinda…idk not hard but, confusing?

My whole life I would identify as straight. Not that I actively identified as straight, I was mostly just meh whatevs about it. But in the last few years I’ve begun to feel curious. Like…I noticed that very feminine guys seem to catch my eye. At first I thought it was cuz they just stood out from the crowd (live in a conservative-leaning area) of most men. But now I’m wondering if they are catching my eye cuz they are standing out. I still predominantly find women sexually attractive, and have been with my current GF for nearly 10 years. I don’t plan on that changing. We very much love each other and our relationship is great.

But sometimes….I find myself fantasizing. About femenine men. And me wanting to…ahem…gawd I can’t even bring myself to say it out of self consciousness. But yeah, it def gives me some feels that I didn’t feel before. Masculinity is not something that I have ever found sexually appealing. And I wouldn’t say that I am all that masculine either, but def. Not feminine. But am I fooling/gaslighting myself? Does this mean something bad for my relationship? is it normal to feel this way? I would never cheat on my partner, but I imagine if things, god forbid, didn’t work out, I’d like to try being with a guy. If nothing else to know for sure.
Why did it wait till I was in the midst of adulthood to start? Or was this something that was always there?
Can you be bi if you don’t have a 50/50 split of attraction to males and females? is it normal to have a type? To be picky?
Like if I only find a certain type of person attractive, does that actually make me bi? Or just…not bi?

So like….I’m bisexual….aren’t I? I’m afraid to tell anyone, not because of like people lashing out, out of bigotry, but because people would accuse me of just making it up. I really don’t think I give off a vibe that states I’m anything but hetero, so it would really catch people off guard. I’m afraid people will think less of me for whatever reason. And while my gf and I are both allies of LGBTQ causes, I’m still afraid to tell her as idk if it would risk our relationship.

I’m over thinking this aren’t I?

I’ve never gone through anything like this before….so yeah….I think I’m bisexual. What do I do? Do I do anything?

Good morning all, having a hard time at work and not sure how to best deal with it.

Background: I work in a male dominated company with colleagues old and young, many of whom I would describe as bigoted and ignorant to lgbt+ as a whole. Small family business with around 20 staff, only three of which are female and office based only.

I work with my best friend, he and only one other know that I am bi. Last year the other colleague started dating a bisexual woman, which he saw as a big plus with the usual fantasies men have about threesomes etc.

For some reason, this gave the other guy reason to out me to everyone else in the company.
I came in one morning to a tirade of queer jokes. Not knowing how to handle this I brushed them off without retaliating. The jibes and gossip went on for months, I isolated myself from most of them and carried on working as normal.

A year on, the person who outed me still acts as if we’re friends, i keep my distance. I think he is totally oblivious to how outing me has made me feel and affected my work life. I no longer enjoy my job, which is a shame because I’m good at it and the company treat me well.
Today I have to work with him and I feel as if I can’t.

My question is, do I have it out with him? I know he will not be sorry for it, and most likely spread the conversation to the others for a laugh at my expense. The boss and his family are old fashioned and have not previously dealt with any LGBT+ issues in the past, so I don’t know how that would go.

Has anyone else been outed in this way? How did you go forward from it?

Sorry for the long read, and thank you all in advance.

After much debate and process, I think I’m going to stop stressing about putting a label on my sexuality.

I’m starting to realize there is a chance I could be a comphet lesbian, but I could also very much be a bisexual with a preference for women. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I think trying to unpack all of that would be a mess and very time consuming, so I think I’m just going to go with the flow and go where my heart leads.

I don’t know if any other bisexuals have been struggling with labels but if you also are having similar issues to me pls comment down below as it’d be nice to know I’m not the only one who is still figuring things out at 25 years old lol.

I heard my coworker talking about Chrishell Straus being Bisexual and she said "pick a lane sweetheart, it's not that hard" like people think when you're bisexual you're just indecisive or something. It kinda pissed me off. I don't want to pick a lane, I don't have to pick a lane, I like both lanes 🛣️