Any adoption experience in india for indian residents, kindly share the process experience.

My husband and I just hit the 6 month mark of waiting for a Domestic Infant Adoption. When we started this process we said if it didn’t happen in 2 years we would not continue the process for a few reasons , our ages as well as having to pay more to the adoption agency if you don’t get matched in 2 years.

Two years seemed like a long time at the start but now being a quarter of the way through it seems like this will go by incredibly fast and I’m starting to have serious doubts we will get matched in 2 years. We are getting case opportunities once every few months. It’s got me thinking and I’d love to hear from people who have waited longer than 2 years as well as people who never got matched at all and decided to step away from the process and what that journey was like for you. Just trying to prepare my mind and heart in a process where there is little else I can prepare for .

EDIT: If you have negative comments to make about adoption in general or trying to push your agenda on anything other than the post, please make your own post - not sure why people hijack others posts - feels cowardly to me. And thank you so much to the people with genuine responses you have no idea how helpful they are to me.

Me and my wife live in Cyprus and basically the population is too small to offer options for adoption.

A quick chat with Gemini says adopting in Europe is generally a hard and lengthy process.

I was wondering if that is true and if there other options, maybe outside Europe, maybe Asia, where the process would be easy and fast so we wouldn't have to go back and forth for years.

What is the reality.of the situation?

For Parents of Adopted Children:

Does anyone see the same anti-adoption stance as the ones in the r/Adopted reddit in real life or with your own adopted children. I started reading r/Adopted to hear and understand adoptee voices (postive and negative).

I noticed alot of negative and equating adoption to human trafficking. I also noted that alot of the post are themes of feeling of unloved and unprotected, disregulation, advocacy against any intervention or adoption, and unhinged takes.

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Hi everyone,

We have just started the application + home study process to hopefully adopt an infant. I mentioned to a group that I want to announce our intention to adopt to our immediate families soon so they can help us be a part of the preparation. Upon asking if any adoptive parents had done something like this and had any recommendations, I had a few adoptees comment on my post that I was being entirely insensitive to the future child's loss of their bio family by celebrating adoption.

For reference, we are going through an adoption agency that only does open adoptions, is not religiously affiliated, and who's birth mothers are often victims of SA or are pregnant teens who don't feel as though they can raise the baby on their own. We loved this agency because of the amount of support they provide the birth parents, helping them find resources, therapy, potentially jobs or housing if needed.

We of course are new to this world, and by no means are claiming to know everything or that we are going to be perfect adoptive parents. We've talked in depth with other adoptive parents, adoptees, and social workers about the emotional and traumatic complexities adoption brings for children of all ages, even newborns.

Are we being insensitive in trying to do a small announcement to our families? We aren't trying to downplay the loss that comes with adoption, but we are trying to celebrate bringing a new child into our family, especially since we may never have bio children.

*edit to add: we're talking announcing strictly to immediate support system, not social media.

My 16 year old daughter has dealt with anxiety and adhd since I’ve known her. She came to us through foster care at the age of 9 and was adopted at 10. We waited a couple of years before meds to see if things would level out after adoption which some things did, but these underlying challenges were still present. She started ADHD meds at 12 and they have helped. Recently her doctor suggested SSRI’s for anxiety. We tried two kinds and they did seem to be working for anxiety but had other side effects so we stopped them. There are so many other meds we could try of course but I’m not sure about going down this road. Of course we have done therapy on and off and could start that up again. I know it’s a process and she has been through a lot. I’m just not sure what the best route is at this point. She hopes to reconnect with her birth mother after she is 18 so I think I’m always trying to help her the best way I can now to face that. I have no idea how she might deal with that if that doesn’t go well which is a real possibility.

Any suggestions?

Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to even begin with the process. Any suggestions where to start? I live in NJ if that helps at all.

We are doing our second adoption, will be a biological sibling to our current child. We live on the east coast, will be adopting on the west coast. Already know there will be a NICU stay and lots of stress when the child is born. First child was in NICU for 20 days, total time on west coast was 25 days.

Any advice on what to do with our current child who will be 2-Bring her with us? do one of us. stay home and other travel? Not sure how to think this through. We all want to be together but also know that if one of us needs to be in the hospital constantly, may be easier to not have to worry about parenting the other child.

I've been sober for years, but my medical records still say "alcoholic" as current disorders. I'm assuming that fostering requires disclosure of past or current substance use disorders, but it's been completely under control. My boyfriend and I are talking marriage and he wants to foster to adopt at some point ad well as having our own children.

My question is, what is the process? Do I have to disclose something that is a non-issue? How far back do they require medical records, if they do at all?

Hi there,

I am reaching out on this sub to ask about the specific differences and examples of what it means when people say raising an adopted child is completely different than raising a biological child. I understand the idea of helping them grieve, mourn, process the trauma and potential loss or seperation of their birth family. I understand nurturing identity, culture (if it is different, physical/mental disabilities if they develop them, and disciplining differently. But other some of those major things, what specifically is the huge difference everyone is talking about?

Are they saying you feel differently about the child/don’t love them the same?

My question doesn’t come through arrogance, it comes through genuinely wanting to learn as someone who is considering private domestic adoption.

I read often on the adoption subreddit, but it feels like a lot of accusations and not examples of what to be prepared for.

Thank you!

I’m posting to check in with others who are currently in the waiting process! Everyone always says that the wait is so hard, so I’d like to offer everyone a chance to connect & ask questions with others in the same part of the process.

How’s your wait? How long have you been waiting? What’s something that inspired hope in your life this last week? Have you heard anything new from your agency?

Very specific but we are both Syrian, born and raised in Canada. Syria is not on the list of restricted countries. Thanks.

hello! my wife and I are a lesbian couple residing in Kentucky who are attempting to start our adoption journey.

We are feeling very overwhelmed trying to even find an agency… it seems majority of the “agencies” I find aren’t even actual agencies. They are marketing or consultants, or if they are an agency they don’t work with LGBTQ families/in our state… we did meet with Adoption Information Services and enjoyed what they had to say, but they’re a consultant vs an agency. however, if anyone has experience with them we’d love to hear it too.

Can anyone give recommendations/their experience (good or bad!) on actual agencies they worked with? please bear in mind they MUST be LGBTQ friendly, which typically removes religious agency.

We are open to experiences working with attorneys - but I’ll be honest the idea of doing a lot of that process by ourselves does make us nervous just because we feel so lost in what to do.

thank you in advance!

Hi all,

Several weeks ago, we adopted our perfect baby through an open, baby-born adoption. We finally got their medical records and their birth records differ greatly from what we were told. (We were told they were born at 38 weeks—they were born at over 41 weeks. This is the most trivial/minor of the inconsistencies.) Our comfort zone feels like it was a little bit violated. I don’t know where the inconsistent information came from.

It feels silly to be overwhelmed since baby is fine and growing like a weed, but I just was curious if there was anyone else who’s experienced this? I know adoption is uncertain in a lot of ways by nature, so I guess I’m just trying to figure out whether I should be concerned about even more misinformation in the future (ex: regarding health history, or biological familial structure). TIA :)

Hello, I hope people will be impartial and kind as possible. I've had mental health challenges prior to my son's birthday for many years and was prescribed multiple types of medication which had no impact. I have also been hoapitalised for mental health issues in the past. I am an older mother, in my mid-forties when I had my son, and I am a single mother. Since my son's birth in January this year, I have been getting increasingly unwell. I have been engaging with perinatal mental health services but to no avail. I feel worse than I did when my son was born. I have been taking medication - in this case, Mirtazapine, that again, like the previous medication, have not had any impact. I really can not go on. I live in a two-room apartment and can't move out because my income comes from sick leave. I can't see any alternative but to put my child up for adoption because my mental health is so bad and the psychiatrist I have been talking to does not know in wjich direction to take my treatment. I hope adoption is better in Europe than in the U.S. because I know most of the comments from adoptees on r/Adoption are very scathing of adoption. Does anyone have any experience of adoption in Europe, notably in France? I want the best for my baby.

Hi there! My husband and I found out we cannot have children two years ago. We are beginning our journey to adoption through research and have spoken to one Agency in Northern California recently. We received an overload of information! Based on what we’ve learned so far, I had a few questions:

- I was curious if anyone can recommend agencies they liked working with? Or had success with?
- did you just use one agency or work w multiple?
- did you use a consultant (to help pass around your application and help along the adoption process) and if so was that worth it / necessary?
- I’ve been told on average it’s takes about 18 months until a placement is made. Is that accurate to your experience?
- lastly, any grants you used or applied for?

Many thanks for all your help!

I definitely came to adoption from a savior complex-y place. I was a teenager who would say things like, “It’s selfish to have your own kids when there are so many babies out there who need good homes!” (There are not.)

I also have a history, in my youth, of getting way too invested in both friendships and romantic relationships with people who are deeply mentally ill. I think in many ways these things came from the same place.

Of course, by the time I was ready to actually adopt, it very quickly became clear that there were not a lot of babies who were in need of homes, or rather, that there were many homes ready to accept them. I also just had this very sudden epiphany that I was being really arrogant to think that even if there were millions of babies who needed homes that I was somehow the one who should save them. It’s also deeply selfish in the sense that it very much came from my desire to feel better about myself and my place in the world.

My wife and I decided to adopt anyway, for a variety of reasons that aren’t relevant to this question. In my opinion, that does not make me morally superior or inferior to people who have kids “the old fashioned way,” or people who come to adoption through infertility.

By then, we did not feel entitled to our children, nor did we feel that we were their saviors. We often discuss how if we’d been facing as much as our children’s birth parents were, we likely would have done worse than they would have, and it really is systemic inequities that led to us being in the position that we are.

Also, I find that I am able to be a lot more boundaried in my relationships with people who are really struggling. I think there’s still a deep part of me that wants to feel better about myself through helping others, but I kind of “know my place” more now.

And so I have a lot of empathy for people who say savior complex things when they’re talking about adoption. That goes double for really young people. Obviously it can be harmful for adoptees when people go into adoption without examining that in themselves, but I also think the process itself can be really humbling in that way.

I was talking to another adoptive mom in real life yesterday and she described also having a savior complex, but then being humbled through becoming an adoptive parent. I was wondering if there were other people who had a similar experience or felt the same way.

Celebrate is in quotes because it isn't the right word, but I am not sure of a better one.

We are in the process of adopting our son. He has been with us since February and we have a court date set to finalize. He was just under 12 months when he came to us and is currently 20 months, so he has a limited understanding of it all. Biologically he is our nephew (wife's side of the family) and neither bio parent has any interest in being involved.

We would like to do a little something for him on the day. Ideally something we can make a tradition and do every year with all of our kids. We also have an 11 year old, 9 year old, and 3 month old. It doesn't have to be major but we would like something that he can look back on and see how happy we were to become his parents in the legal sense.