Well, it happened fellow dads. After 20 years and one buyout five years ago, I was laid off today without warning. "Organizational realignment," I was told. Let this not distract your from the fact that had organizational realignment last November right before Thanksgiving and last March when all four of my managers were laid off.

So, here I am. 43, married, with a 15, 13, and 8 year old and now unemployed. We'll tell the kids tomorrow as they have an early dismissal. I hope this doesn't derail my oldest, who is currently competing in marching band to win States this weekend and hopefully Nationals in two weeks.

Never thought it would be me, but corporations suck ass. Capitalism can go fuck itself.

Me (39) and my wife (38) have always wanted 2 babies, 1 boy and 1 girl, since we started dating years ago. That's been the dream! We had our first child (boy, now 1) last year after infertility issues and having to do IUI. Due to our age we didn't want to wait too long to try for baby 2, so we started trying a few months back, and after deciding to wait until next year to do IUI again, BOOM we were surprised with baby number 2.

Or so we thought. Went in for our first ultrasound, and not only were we getting baby number 2, but also baby number 3. Healthy heartbeats and over 9 weeks along.

So happy, nervous, scared... thinking about the accommodations we're going to have to make... all the emotions right now. 3 under 2 is going to be pretty rough for a while. And no guarantees we're even getting a girl 😆

Pray for me, laugh at me, do what you will with this info

Context: my 7 year old son has a hard time with social cues and making friends. He's level 1 autistic and has adhd. He told my wife this morning that he has a girlfriend at school. She asked him how he knows she's his girlfriend? He said, "well, she plays with me a lot during recess." She asked him what the girls name is. He says, " I don't know, I just call her my girlfriend." Lol

It hurt our soul every time he'd come home crying and tell us, "nobody wants to be my friend." And now my boy is out there making his way. I'm proud of him.

Hello. Dad here who doesn’t really post and only logs on to comment or lurk. Now in a predicament. Found this in my teenager’s car. Empty and still somewhat maintains shape, so I know it’s recent. She is 16 turning 17 in less than a week. She’s been with her boyfriend since the start of this year. I went to my wife first and we spoke about it, we are gonna speak to her. Probably time for a birth control appointment too (we’ve had sex talks, birth control talks, etc many times prior.) Obviously in my head I want to chase the boyfriend down the street lol. I’m also a little upset they somehow got past me, I’ve been watching them like a hawk. I know that’s a little unrealistic though to think it can be stopped. So.. Apart from the chat we’re going to have: where do we go from here? What rules or boundaries need to be set now (or altered?) We already had a few to begin with.

Boys I fucking crushed it today. Its 11:15 and I’ve been up since 6:30. I got the kids up, made lunch, made coffee for me and tea for the lady, and did drop off. Came home and worked all day, even closed some new business (just gotta write it up) until I picked up the kids from school. I made dinner from some frozen leftovers I strategically made extra of earlier in the week... creamy chicken penne then frozen to a casserole type dish that all I had to do was microwave, another brilliant forethought… served along with some fresh Caesar salad. Then I let the kids watch Forbidden Planet while I did a serious clean on the bathroom because of my wife’s brother coming into town on Thursday. Got the kids down and then gave my wife a back rub until she fell asleep. Got up and made protein blueberry pancakes for the family to pop in the toaster in the morning AND made their Bentgo lunchboxes for tomorrow while I was at it. I gotta be out the door early tomorrow and so all I gotta do I turn the kettle on and make our coffee/tea, get dressed and leave. I also started a new book today and am about 5 chapters in, gonna read some more right now until I fall asleep.

Some days suck ass… and some days you absolutely make the day your fuckin bitch. Strive for the latter, boys.

We tried to take a picture, but he was taking his role as The Flash very seriously.

She's been into creepy stuff and horror since she was tiny; she's 14 now and dying for a "real" scary movie.

She's seen It, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, Cabin in the Woods, World War Z, 28 Days/ Months/ Years Later ... but she's looking to be completely freaked out/ hit with jump scares.

I just watched Patton Oswalt's new special "Tea and Scotch" and his story about showing his daughter Night of the Living Dead ... and her laughing her face off is exactly what I want to avoid... as hilarious as it'd be ...

I would love your thoughts on how to melt her face off. Thankya 🤘🏼

EDIT - To clarify, I'm looking for scary / horror, NOT disturbing / psychologically fucked up.

Ghosts ghouls monsters demons? Sure!

The darkest depths of human depravity? Noooooo thankya.

​

A few of you asked for a village tour, so I finally put together a short video showing a little of life here. Took the video yesterday

🎥 https://youtu.be/O2uIdbcpSko?si=4P9AS_OMdrxQ9o0f

This morning, I took my son to a nearby farm where they were harvesting sugarcane. He got to see how the cane is cut and loaded onto a tractor. Yesterday, he was asking how the sugarcane gets up there, so it was cool for him to see the process in person. Sugarcane farming is one of the main sources of income around here.

I wish I’d filmed the harvesting, but we had a power blackout overnight and my phone was dead. I’ll have to take you guys along next time!

Meanwhile, the boys have been playing football, and the ball is already feeling it

On the dad side of things, I also completed my 5K ruck bodyweight workout today and have been feeling great both physically and mentally

Hope you dads are having a good week.

Use a hacksaw blade wrapped in electrical tape instead! Saws well thru pumpkin meat, teeth are too tiny to cause major injuries, flexes well for rounding curves, $6.99 for a 10-pack at your local Harbor Freight.

My boy, 11, has a good core of 4 friends. A new kid has joined and has gotten 1 of the friends in the group to tease him a lot. The other 3 will join in sometimes, but my son doesn't mind them doing it as much, probably because it is more lighthearted and not as constant. My son is not the type to just ignore it or pretend it doesn't bother him, so the kid always succeeds in getting a reaction out of him. This started as typical boys making fun of each other behavior but I fear it is going in a bad direction. I'm really happy that he is sharing this with me and I told him I would think about it and we would come up with a plan together for how to deal with it.

I've already suggested pretending it doesn't bug him, branching out to other kids, tring to talk to his friend or freezing out the problematic kid, but he didn't like any of those suggestions and he is genuinely afraid that he will end up losing all of his friends.

Any ideas?

The emails will be constant. Pediatrician, daycare, other appointments, birthday party evites, and even non-parenting joint errands.

My wife had this idea and it’s been so helpful so neither of us are out of the loop on something because we forgot to forward an email. And it’s also functioned as a joint calendar which we use to organize our endless baby appointments

Make your email something like momanddad@email.com or something and it’s been a life saver

My 6 year old son has almost daily #2 accidents. It started 6-8 months ago and I'm losing my freaking mind over it.

Yes I've taken him to a doctor, it's not encopresis. Yes he's in therapy. His therapist doesn't believe he's on the spectrum or any form of disabled.

It started with moderate to large accidents. I can't say there's been NO progress but it's a fucking snails pace. He just won't or can't listen to his body. It's always when he's distracted.

I set up bathroom breaks for him, make him go at certain times (when we get home, after meals, etc) but if I miss them the chance of an accident skyrockets. He might go 2-3 weeks of daily accidents if I don't remind him. Then he might go 3-4 days of no accidents. Then he will have 3-4 the next day.

Where before it was BIG accidents now it's like "slips" most of the time with an occasional bigger one. Again it's always during distractions: video games, TV, playing with others, fishing trips. Video games are cut out unless he goes an extended time with no accidents. TV gets cut out sometimes too with the same rules.

He used to not even notice it happened he'd just REEK. Now most of the time he notices and cleans himself/changes before we notice. Sometimes he secludes himself if it happens, but most of the time he notices now. So I guess that's improvement.

I really don't want to hurt his self esteem or make him feel guilty about it but I'm getting to the point where I want to drive my head through a wall every time it happens.

What the fuck guys. I don't know what's wrong with my boy. I'm going fucking insane here. I don't know what's wrong with my boy.

Edit: I also want to add we do positive reinforcement as well. He has a reward chart and if he goes take a dump without a grown up telling him to he gets a sticker. So many stickers get prizes.

Edit 2: only happens at home. No accidents at school or other places

Ten years ago, I started my sobriety journey because I was facing some legal issues. I was stupid, high on Xanax and keyboard cleaner. I had graduated high school just a year prior, and I found myself in the federal justice system.
I found a regeneration program up in the mountains of Georgia, where I spent 26 months total: 13 months receiving support and another 13 months choosing to stay on as a mentor to the newcomers. The 20/21-year-old version of me had no idea what he had in store for him in the future.
I found myself in private prison during the summer of love in 2020. On May 5, 2020, I made my second attempt at sobriety, and I’ve been sober for six years now.
Looking back at rehab, my time incarcerated, and the friends I’ve lost to addiction, I know I don’t want to go back.
I watched my father die, and instead of drinking the pain away, I called a friend, and he helped me. I’m still sober.
I’m thankful for my sobriety now more than ever because my younger cousins lost their dad to addiction. I stepped up to be a father figure for them.
Last year, the kiddos wanted to go trick-or-treating, but we had just buried my dad. This year, I’m glad to say I’m taking the kids out. I got their costumes, and I’m taking my dad’s final birthday present to my mom. We restored a ’95 Nissan pickup together. It was one of the final projects he painted.
I take that truck to car shows to display my dad’s talent. Man, I miss that guy.
If you’re on the fence about jumping on the wagon, take the leap. Others will thank you for doing it.
As for me, I wouldn’t have been able to step into my dad’s role in his business if I were still actively using.
Six years sober, and I’m still here. Still showing up. Still carrying on what my dad built.
And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Hey guys, I had one if those moments last week. It was awesome and sad at the same time.

Me, my wife and my 2 kids (M13 and F7) were on vacation in the Dominican Republic. We were at a resort that has a kids area with waterslides, lazy river, palm trees, lounge chairs etc. You get the visual.

Typically my daughter is attached to me and my son is with my wife. That does not bother me, we all have good relationships with each other.

Anyway, I am doing water slides with my daughter and she says she wants to go do one by herself so I could see her splash at the bottom. She walks away and goes up the stairs. She stops on a landing, looks down on me through the palm trees and waves at me with such excitement and joy. Her little goggles on and a big grin. I smile, look to my right and there is my wife and son sitting on the chairs talking and laughing and wave at me.

This moment is one if the happiest moments I have ever felt and knew at that moment it was an adult "core memory." But I also know as the kids get older, these moments change and become fewer.

It also made me think how many other moments did I miss because I was on my phone, or distracted with something inconsequential.

In summary guys, enjoy the moments, put the phone down and dont let those times past.

My partner and I have a 10-month-old son, and we keep arguing about me wanting to spend time alone with him.

My mum is an alcoholic, although she’s currently not drinking. Because of this, my partner doesn’t allow me to take our son out alone in case I take him to see my parents without her there.

I’m told I should be happy that I can have him to myself in the lounge while she’s cooking, but she actively makes sure I can’t do things like take him for a pram walk, just the two of us. Even when she goes to a fitness class, I have to take him to meet her there rather than have him at home with me.
I completely understand there need to be boundaries around my mum, such as never leaving her unsupervised with our son and leaving if there’s any suspicion she’s been drinking. My dad is very responsible and wouldn’t allow my mum to be involved if she’d been drinking.

My partner tells me I’m a brilliant dad and have a great relationship with our son, but uses this to argue that I don’t need father-son bonding time. Her view is that we should do everything as a family of three, and she doesn’t understand why I’d want to do things alone with him.

I find this really hurtful. I’d always imagined being able to take my son for walks, to the park and do everyday things together, and I don’t think wanting that is unreasonable.

Looking ahead, I also struggle to see how this would work if we had another child, or as our commitments change. I don’t feel I should be considered incapable of spending time alone with my own son because my mum is an alcoholic.

Am I being unreasonable, or is it fair to expect some independence as a father while still respecting sensible boundaries around my mum?

My son is 5.5yo and very interested in everything fantasy, we're past Hobbit, past Lightfall and getting into Talisman and Redwall.

I've came up with a silly small scenario loosely based on D&D, we invited Mom and a younger brother to it as well. She is a Druid (strategic placement, so she can keep his ideas and stuff in check without me interfering as a DM) and the brother is a toddler sorcerer (works surprisingly well, he just doesn't talk, but throws dice a lot to wonderfully chaotic results).

So far we covered the basics like stats, why we roll dice, speech checks, some fun dice rolls for skill checks in the world - didn't touch actual combat yet, because I'm still trying to find a best way to introduce it without too much details (initiative, AC checks, etc).

What worked for you? I guess I am just looking for inspirations, tips or just anecdotes - anything!

Ever since our two year old was born, my partner and I have fought about feeding.

She refused to give her formula, preferring to breast feed and didn’t like to pump. This has basically meant I’ve not been able to put her to sleep and missed out on all of that intimacy.

I’ve also worked full time while she took a year off and now only works part time so have had significantly less time with our daughter.

She still uses the breast to help put her to sleep and comfort her, and if anything this has shown no signs of slowing down.

Ive suggested her I think things would be different if we weaned but she point blank refuses to do so believing its best for the child. She just believes it will happen naturally at some point.

I understand breastfeeding is good for the child but it seems to have created a huge split in our family and I’m frankly getting fed up.

I’ll be on paternity from November to January. I’m looking to buy minimal equipment to put in the house while I watch my son. Any tips or advice?

My current workout is chest, quads, back and shoulders, hammies and glutes, and full upper days.

I was thinking of a bench and a set of adjustable dumbbells.

We're getting absolutely smoked this half term. All of us are unwell. It's really difficult to keep up with everything (I'm absolutely failing to do so) and frankly it's depressing. Anyone else in a similar situation?

My 3.5 year old draws these things daily at daycare and my truck floor is piling up with them. My wife gives my crap if she sees me toss them out like they’re some memory I’m tossing away. Am I the only one?

https://youtu.be/aOEYoglP7zI?is=zbMom_SEkAvsYglH

This is going to be the last Saturday Halloween for 11 years so I want to make it VERY special for my 4 and 8 yo boys. We are going to get donuts in the morning and special drinks from Dutch Bros. We have a bunch of fun stuff planned for later in the day but I'm not sure what to fill in the rest with. Especially since my kids get up at 6 AM so from like 8AM until 3-4 PM I'm lacking any ideas. Any and all suggestions are appreciated :). We already carved pumpkins btw so that is off the table.

(Tagging this as Discussion because there's no humor flair)

Currently standing in my kitchen making ramen at 10pm because I was too busy making the kid's dinner to eat myself, haven't had time to go to the store to get groceries for the rest of the week and am not sure I can afford them without maxing out my credit card, and have 4 weeks of laundry sitting in my room waiting to be folded afterwards I finish eating.

How are your Tuesdays going?

I took my 4 year old son to a pumpkin patch/theme park, and we had a fantastic time eating, playing, getting scared, everything you could want from such a place.

Well, he particularly loved these- I guess they're called Spun Chairs- and kept going back to play on them some more. One time, they were all in use, and we waited as these 2 women were playing around on one. One rolled off backwards, laughing, before standing and walking off with her friend.

My son ran up to her chair, grabbed something out of it, and took off. I saw that it was a phone in his hand, and before I could say anything, he reached the two women, handed it back to them, and turned to go back to the chairs.

I was stunned. He did this without hesitation, without needing instruction. I bought him ice cream and, for the rest of the night, couldn't stop telling him how proud of him I was. We watched the fireworks from those chairs.

What a powerful feeling.

How is your romantic relationship with your wife/partner after kids? After 1, 5, 10+ years?