My 6 year old wants to be a teacher when he grows up (at the moment, anyway), and last night while in the bath tub he came up with a brilliant idea:

“When I’m a teacher I’m going to put piñatas all over my classroom and I’ll tell my students ‘there’s fun surprises in there!’ but then when they break open the piñatas, homework will come out.”

We were at an outdoor event on saturday, and it's the UK so naturally it was pissing with rain. My I brought my 10yr old daughter and my sister and we had camp chairs and were sitting in the rain watching people racing on the track.

I had this bright Idea of moving to warm up so I stand up and start doing squats to get some blood flowing to my legs while chatting with them, and there was another dad with his two sons behind me also watching the track action but I'm behind them so not disturbing them.

My daughter just looks at me and says "you're twerking at those kids"

Needless to say, I stopped.

Reposting my post here for the laughs

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Looking back, our parents were basically psychological warfare experts.

When we were kids, they’d spin the most unhinged, high-stakes fairy tales just to stop us from doing completely normal kid things.

My personal favorite? If I swallowed a single fruit seed, an entire oak tree was going to sprout and burst right out of my belly. 💀

I mean, I never actually believed it (okay, maybe once after eating a watermelon), but I know you guys heard way worse.

Drop the wildest, most absurd lies your parents told you so we can heal together. What's the best one you got?

So, I took my 4yo niece to the park today. As we were walking home, I thought we could take a little bit of a shortcut. When I tell my niece this, she asks if we are going to the hair store(salon) because she doesn't want her hair cut short.

The dad jokes, starting so young; it really makes an auntie proud.

I wish I would’ve written down everything my son said.. some of the things he said were so dang cute and hilarious.

Share yours! Maybe it will help strike my memory

Hi! I’m Leila, and I have a little girl with a big imagination! Luckily, I’ve written down some of the amazing things she says or invents.

Once at lunch, she put a piece of prosciutto on her tongue and announced, completely seriously: “I am training to be a chameleon.” 😂

I love getting these little glimpses into how she sees the world.

What about your children? I’d love to hear something they’ve said that made you laugh or surprised you.

https://youtube.com/shorts/yIYLeUG4KwQ?feature=shared

My kids were listening to their playlist in the car, when all of a sudden my oldest yells “WAIT PAUSE THE SONG!”

I did, and then she said:

“And down came the good fairy and she said…” (from Little Bunny Foo Foo)

Then there was an awkward pause, but I figured she wanted me to hit play.

“I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT”.

The kids roared with laughter, and a new game was born. Now in between songs or randomly in the middle of songs, we have to pause the music to hear what the silly good fairy is about to say.

I had to document this while it's still fresh..

Occasionally, I like to play this video game on my iPad, using a game controller. Sometimes, I would screen mirror to a TV for a bigger view. I left the iPad charging, while it mirrored to a TV in an upstairs bedroom. My 5 year-old could see the game on the iPad, but I was nowhere to be found. When he found me he says, "Wow! How are you playing this when your iPad is downstairs?" I answer, "I know, right? Technology has come a long way." He replies, "Yeah, all the way upstairs."

Kids are smarter than we think.

Today my toddler walked in the bathroom while I was on the toilet and said "Whatchu peein' Mama?"

Don't know if this counts since they weren't MY kids but today, I had to explain to 2 young girls that them working a shift in the store in exchange for squishies, would probably be breaking every labor law that has ever been written. 😅

I left her dad when she was a few months old.

She wants to have a sibling and in the past year she found out that in order for her to have a sibling, either her dad or I will need to have a kid. And I told her I'm not having another kid until I'm married-- if I get married. And so she is deadset on me getting married now lol.

Tonight, she decided to give me dating advice.

"Mom, marry someone who is nice to you.

And gives kisses.

And hugs.

And loves you."

and TBH- that's pretty solid advice lol. Just a sweet little moment.

My 8 year old daughter has just had her 1st look through my feed here and asked me this question. Do you prefer a door that opens inward or outward and why.

Apologies, i posted this elsewhere and it was removed, thanks to the excellent people who engaged.