Hi I'm Niklas and my best female Friend is currently on her transition journey. (MTF)

I try to always help her with her problems and her fears.

Like she knows that it is a safe space if she needs a place to crash or if she has mental load to put off.

We talk a lot and very open about our problems or the fun stuff, when we are around.

But, and that's the point I'm trying to make, I am not a Transperson myself I can only imagine what kind of problems she has and what she is going through.

And sometimes I think that, while she says I'm doing the best I can, it's not enough.

Has anyone an idea to help me with?

Or is it a thing I can't every truly grasp?

I want her to feel even more safe and that i can help her overcome her fears.

So yeah, thanks for reading this ramble I guess.

I hope you can help me out. And thank you.

Hey I’m 20 years old. I’ve been lurking here for a little while and doing a lot of reflecting, and I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a trans girl. I'm currently pre-HRT and still very much at the beginning of my journey, figuring things out day by day.

One thing I'm really missing right now is community. I would love to connect with some online friends to chat with about life, transition stuff, hobbies, or just random daily things.

If anyone else is around my stage or just wants a new friend to talk to, feel free to drop a comment or shoot me a DM. It’s so nice to meet you all! 🏳️‍⚧️✨

So I recently got a GP referral to the above and was wondering what people’s experiences of it have been? I know the wait times are long and I will likely head down the private route to get myself started. I am NB so I plan not to conform to a solid this or that in my presentation, though I am seeking feminising HRT in terms of how I need my body to look and feel.

I started estrogen a day ago, I take the spray specifically.

I have to do 2 sprays per 12 hours, so twice a day to be exact. I have this odd feeling of feeling...a bit more bigger on the stomach? It's like noticeably slighter more bigger.

When does it stop becoming bloated? How do I make it normal again? I'm starting to drink a good amount of water and eat potassium foods such as banana.

Hopefully I didnt do a mistake. I'm starting to panic a bit. 😵‍💫

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Hi, I want to share something I’m dealing with. My roommate is outing me to people in the asylum center as gossip.

All three of us (me, my roommate, and the other guy) are asylum seekers. I’m 23M, my roommate is 27M, and the other guy is 42M.

A guy on my floor messaged me on Grindr. I ignored him because I’m not interested, and I didn’t block him because I was afraid he’d confront me in person. 

Then my roommate told this guy that I like him, “as a joke.” I don’t.

My roommate also outed me as trans to him, even though I had asked him not to out me to anyone.

After that, the guy told my roommate that since I am very young and small, sex is going to be very good. He also asked for my number from him.

The next morning I asked my roommate, and he said he hadn’t told anyone. But that night he admitted he told him. I think he told others too. He lies a lot, then says he’s joking.

He apologized a few days later, but then said he sometimes calls himself trans, and posted a WhatsApp story titled “Trans.” He says outing is not a big deal, and that he’s not a real trans person, he just likes to call himself that sometimes. I feel like he is mocking my gender identity. He calls himself trans to make it look like I am being a bad person here.

Am I overreacting? What would you do?

Im so glad to change to them on Friday. Got so tired of gel, it was always such a hassle 😭

Im still a bit scared of starting them but anything to be a bit more free. Like i dont have to remind myself to apply it (shots are done by the doctors every few months in my country)

“I hate gay Halloween” this “Gay Halloween that”

What about trans Halloween. Every year I work on a costume just to have to scrap it day of or make it less cool, just because I’m suddenly dysphoric. And it’s not like the new costume is going to be any better I’m still going to feel shity just unshity enough to go outside. This happens every year. Back up costumes don’t even work because I always end up hating that one too. God I hate trans Halloween.

(Idk if this is just a me issue or not)

This is moreso a copy from the r/lgbtq subreddit because i already posted this there. Im posting it here too, i guess im just hoping someone comments sooner. I dont want any of you to go over there or anything, just wanted to post this here too.

Heres the rest:

I told my family I'm trans. I feel so much dread. I need help to calm down.

Apologies in advance. Im just very distressed. I want someone with more experience with this stuff to help me.

I wanted to add a content flair but i dont know how to edit them, so HUGE trigger warning:

Confessing the want to transition and it not going well.

Basically, yesturday i finally burst after 20 years on this earth and confessed i am probably a trans man. If you look at my past posts I usually potray myself as a woman, but thats not entirely true. I never felt like one.

I made two posts on a few lgbtq+ and ftm subreddits but i deleted them for some privacy reasons.

My dad doesnt know (thank god) but my mom and brother know everything now. My brother said he would support me.

He told me that i dont know what its like to be a man and that he will help me. He said he'd help get me a job with some manual work so i can get the idea of being a man and, after 3 working years, if i still wanted to transition, he would support me and go with me to appointments if im scared. Ive never been more greatful for him in my life. Im so unbelievably happy for that.

Im not happy about my mother. For her it went badly. She wouldn't believe me, she doesn't understand.

She kept talking about how i have 'complexes' in my head and how she doesnt understand becaude im a 'healthy girl as god made me.'

She first tried to push that i had 'complexes' in my head.

Then called it deranged.

Then told me i was wrong.

Then she told me she felt like she was sgonna keel over (she has a lot of health and heart problems so this isn't that unusual)

Then said she hoped i go through with a transition just so i will regret it later. (I cried hardest at that)

Then cried and went "where did i go wrong?"

My brother calmed her down and told her that its not the end of the world and how 'she(aka me) didn't confess she was a drug dealer or anything'.

After that she started asking me questions, if i was 'sure', to i guess understand how i felt. Then she started doing hypotheticals.

"What if we went to a psychiatrist and he told you this is because of your complexes?"

"What if we went there and he told you to take girl hormones instead?" (English is not either of our first language. You get the picture)

"I know you said you denied it thinking youre a masculine woman, i want you to deny it saying youre a WOMAN, period. It might work"

I got upset and begged her to stop and accept that what im saying might be true. She got mad and told me i wasnt accepting the possibility that it might not be because i have a 'huge ego' and 'always push for me-me-me'.

I will admit, i do have a huge ego. Im as stubborn as a mule. But im tired of this. I can see it in her eyes that shes desperately begging for this to be a phase, for this to just be because of my hormone imbalance. Ive felt this way as far as i can remember and i highly doubt it. I will admit shes right about everything else, but not this. This is a hill i will die on.

I slept beside her that night (my dad works night shifts) because she was stressed and i didnt want her to be alone. She only slept two hours and she said she was fine, but i doubt it.

I thought i would finally feel relief telling her. I know she loves me and i know shes just worried, but i feel nothing but dread.

As im typing this, and for the last few minutes, ive just been pacing around the room. I want my big brother here but hes at work. I havent eaten anything and i dont have the appetite to. I dont know what to do. I feel such a sense of dread and doom and dispair, even knowing that my confession went over a lot better than other peoples confessions would have.

Please someone help me or comfort me or do something. I dont know if this is the sub for this. I just feel so alone right now. Im a recluse but now i feel such a strong urge to leave the house and never return, but i know thats stupid.

I know that it may sound so strange but the fact that I realised that I am a girl, and started planning my future as one makes me feel happy, despite the fact that I haven't come out of the closet yet. Have you experienced the same thing?

One of my friends convinced me to transition online first due to my real life situation (explained in my previous post). I want to do that, I know my friends wont mind, but it just feels strange? I guess, im not sure how to properly word it. I feel like I want to be a woman, not that I currently am I woman. I really want to transition and I know starting online is best for me, but, I dont know. I just wanted to know if anyone else felt like this and has some advice

I don’t know how to say it or who to talk to, but I’m ready to admit to myself that I am not the man I’ve been pretending to be my whole life. I’ve had to copy men for years and imitate their styles and habits. I’ve masked for so long it feels like it’s too late. The only place I allowed myself to be me was in video games, I always chose a female character and would use every excuse under the book, smaller hit box, nicer avatar to look at, etc. But I’m tired of hiding and pretending to be anything that I’m not. I’m a woman and I want to begin HRT and become the woman that I’ve always had hiding within.

So my mom asked me after a long day at work so I was already exhausted if I was going to vote, im not big on politics (dont ask which side I am I dont care) and asked her what believes the sides have, she said some things but the thing that still stuck was trans was a mental illness, so later I in the night I made a list on experiments I did to see if i was trans or not, I like to feel data when doing things, if I dont see data I dont believe so I listed put my experiments, like skirt, bras, breast forms, pronouns, etc, i have no idea if ill need to use it, but ill add more, and to be fair ill try to make a list on whu in not trams (there are none, why i dont know normal emotions, adhd, autism, and repression), just needed it out, also my mom is the same person who said no judgment when she found my panties, so theres slightly confusing messages, alright, have a good night you pretty and handsome people

So, this is a tough post to write. I’m 25, officially graduated from college and was in the midst of learning how to be trans outside of the safety net of the college bubble where I felt I was in a environment of acceptance with other trans folks. I have my own apartment and was excited and finally learning how to be independent in a really fun queer-friendly city.

However, my mom has Multiple Myeloma (a blood cancer) and is at a point where she is choosing to go into hospice. I have a complex relationship with her, the older I get the more I understand her choices and fears regarding my identity and she has done so much for me especially as a single mother. But she has also said a lot of things throughout the years that have hurt me deeply and I tried to have a conversation with her to help her be able to see me for who I am, especially considering the circumstance. But, she‘s informed me she’s never changing her mind.

She has days to weeks to live. I know I just need to give her as much support and comfort as possible. I shouldn’t have even brought it up, considering everything. She wants me to break my lease and move back home to be her caregiver along with my stepdad. Considering my current financial situation, it would be a huge relief. My student loans are through the roof and I can’t even afford health insurance.

But through it all both her and my stepdad are deadnaming and misgendering me. I also will have to get rid of my cat as she doesn’t get along with my childhood cats and if I can’t afford her, it’s better for her to be with someone who can take care of her. I know I need to grow up and take on these responsibilities, mostly because I still love my mom so much. She can still be so kind as she’s offering to take on the finances of helping get out of my apartment. But, I’m afraid of the environment I’ll inherit once she’s gone. it’ll just be me and my stepdad of 2 years who I barely know in this house once she’s gone. I want to be there for her and my own issues feel a little selfish, I need this chance to be able to get back on my feet financially and I want to remain true to myself through it all. I just hate how complicated this all is.

TLDR; How do you deal with caring for and still loving a transphobic parent who’s dying?

I was talking to a friend who said that her company moved her from sales to a pre sales support role after her transition. She suspects it's because of her transition and that many of the company's clients are based in the Middle East or conservative Asian countries.

Her role was client facing, meeting face to face, going on teams calls with the camera on. The reduced role is an indication that they want her to leave. So she's been searching for a way to get out but without much luck.

I'm just thinking back like we see trans girls in internal/support/non delivery roles like HR, Payroll, Compliance, Project support, IT but it's rare to hear about them being the ones travelling in business class to drive client engagement or securing deals.

It’s been a rough few days and I’m not feeling great. Is there any way yall could give me some ggd or just use fem pronouns? (Emma)
Love you

I 18m. Am planning on expirementing with my gender and whatnot and I'm probably some variation of trans fem or nonbinary or gender fluid or something. I just told my sister and as she's like the one person I could go to to help with this sort of thing (my mom is conservative Christian) and I'm not sure how to ask. I just got off the phone with my sister and I wanted to ask but also was worried? She accepted me of course but also I just don't know how to ask her for help.

So im not at a weight that I want to be at and iv been losing weight almost 30lbs now. But Im realizing that this probably going against some of the hrt stuff I want like breast growth? I keep seeing general advice for boob growth to be eat protein rich and fatty foods while on prog. And like makes sense but like I cant do that often when being in a cal deficit. So like would my best course of action to be getting down to what first then doing that kind of advice??

I despise romance so much, being trans makes it so hard. Okay, so, there’s this boy I like, and all my friends think he likes me back. I’ll call him Koala for the sake of the story. He texts me back and talks to me at school and stuff, but I’m always the first to text. I’m just scared that I’m creeping him out, or annoying him. I’ve liked him since 1st Semester last year, and I actually asked him out last year, and he never confirmed wether or not he liked me (he just said “our relationship isn’t progressing romantically“). Since then, we’ve talked and such over the summer (I confessed the week before school ended) but ever since this new school year started and I figured out he’s in my AP HuGeo class, I’ve started liking him again. God damn it. He’s been giving me signs, I guess? Looking at me, smiling at me, we talked at HOCO and he texted me about it. But I’m usually the one initiating the conversation. Tonight I didn’t text him and tried seeing what would happen, and he ofc didn’t text first. I’m trying not to overthink the whole thing, and I’m so upset at myself for worrying. I need constant signs and validation, and to know I’m not annoying him, and I don’t have that. I really don’t want to scare him off, but I also don’t want to loose my chance like last year. According to his friends, he liked me last year, but lost feelings and wasn’t ready for a relationship. I just didn’t do it right, apparently, and it wasn't the right time either. The thing is, even if he does like me back, I‘m trans, and he’s straight (never got confirmation on that, but I heavily believe based on signs). If he sees me as a girl, I can’t really date him because I’m lying to myself. But if he sees me as a boy, he then obviously doesn’t like me. I’m confused, and hurt, and really upset. Being trans is hard, and so is romance, and I think I’m just an annoying person he dislikes.

So I’ve known for quite a while that I was pretty sure I was trans. Like around 2019 or so, when I was 20ish I knew I was at least nonbinary. Hell, I was thinking about talking about it with people in my life, and then my older sister came out as nonbinary(then trans a year or so later). And that made me say “I can’t come out. At least now. Maybe ever.” My sister is 20 years older than me, but in so many ways I was out in a real like following similar to her. Mostly because of being nerdy and into similar things, but I got in my own head about it and used it as an excuse to put things off.

In that mental nonbinary circling I realized pretty well I was fairly certain I was trans. I mean like, I had been saying I wanted to be a girl since I was like 5, ultimately, just no one listened or knew what trans stuff was around me so yknow lol.

I then delayed telling anyone, and denied it for all kinds of reasons. My dad wouldn’t be accepting (I no longer talk to him. It’s a nonfactor now). Maybe I’m not trans and have dysphoria, I’m just fat and have dysmorphia(still a worry kinda) and should wait to actually grapple with this until I lose weight (I haven’t. I’ve only gotten more depressed and gained more weight lol). I should wait until I get my 4 year degree and get a job in that field (graduated with a CS degree into post covid layoffs and AI hell, so no decent job to build some security). My mother, while very accepting of my sister, also grapples with the fact that transitioning has changed my sister’s behaviors, in some ways for the worst in her opinion (lot of selfish stuff from my sister, but also the stuff that comes from my sister grappling with a second puberty in her mid to late 40s and being very emotional. Our mother struggles with that stuff a lot and privately to me talked about her issues with my sister’s behavior) and unlike my sister, I live with my mother and kinda rely on her as my safety net currently.

And so I kept pushing it down putting and pushing it off. And I don’t think I can keep it down anymore.

But I don’t have a body for it, I don’t have a look for it. If I come out I’m just gonna still be a guy for whoever knows how long until I can make changes or they start happening or whatever. I’ve tried the delayed thing of “wait to lose weight” and it didn’t work I just ended up more depressed even when I tried and was losing weight.

No matter what I do it’s gonna be time and I know that. But it also makes it worse. Every second of delay makes me feel worse. Maybe I’m just hoping this is the secret key to all of my problems.

I live in CT and am fairly certain I can get hormones through insurance if I try. But is that right? Should I wait on hormones? I feel like I can’t wait, I feel like I can’t sit here trying to socially transition or something as I am now.

I know my steps are:come out to my mother, get hormones???, be closeted to most people until I feel comfortable and figure it out from there
But I feel wrong about it like I just shouldn’t even bother
I dunno, I’m just grappling with a lot right now lol

(M?23)

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pretending to be Trans just so I can feel special or maybe I'm just a perv because I wish I could fit into certain clothes. I can't confidently say I'm trans to others because I don't look nor have I voiced frustration and discomfort about it. I'm technically a male since that's what my family got and wanted me to be a best example of a man ever, but I'm changing. I feel like I always had a niche for wanting to be another person, someone beautiful and cute, but I don't pass as such.

I don't know enough people who are trans to help me, and I rather not mention this phase with my friends and family who might mistake me for delusional.

I could be crazy, maybe stupid for trying. I have weight I need to drop; I’m not incredibly fat but still chubby I can't fit into anything feminine. I don't put enough effort to shave and even managing my body, besides the gym. I can't consider HRT out of fear and non-negotiable circumstances. I do wanna come off as spelling disaster, just I'm confused with myself and my feelings.

I've kinda been spiraling for the past few months, I guess I need some advice on, y'know what it's like out there as a trans masc. I know I grew up with a lot of the signs, like wanting short hair, and not wearing dresses (and not giving a shit about my appearance or clothing for a very long time) and hating the idea of makeup. But at the same time I don't actually have a problem with being female, or perceived as such? I actually really like it, and I'm terrified a physical transition would change so much about how I'm perceived, and social interaction.

Still I hate having a chest, my stupid high pitched voice, having wide hips, (I stg if this doesn't change) periods!!! I think I'd be way less miserable if I were in a man's body. I mean I'd guess most people who feel like this probably consider themselves non-binary but I really just dont want to exist like that...y'know with the whole obvious pronoun thing that doesn't even validate something I care about.

I don't really want to be a guy, but I don't want to be the something in-between that has to explain herself all the time. I'm tired of wearing boring clothing and having a short haircut just to perform masculinity so I can feel more androgynous, when being a guy with long hair and fun clothes sounds so much better. Is it crazy to start hormones and everything and completely transition for that? I know no matter what ends up happening I'm getting top surgery, but does the rest of it sound like something I would find worth it?

I know it's said all the time you don't have to have physical dysphoria to be trans, but can you be trans and not have social dysphoria? I know it's a big no-no, but if anyone has felt similar, can you tell me what the heck I am?

I've always been around and very close to the queer community, but I don't know if I've ever fully identified with it, and I think I might be scared to? I don't know. I guess I've thought I'm probably aroace as well and that never actually felt like being queer, just...lacking something. This is kinda similar. I don't feel resonant with the transmasc experience, but I think I want something to change?

Anyway, this was really long, so sorry. Thank you for getting this far, I hope you have a really lovely day <3

My biggest problem is everything doesnt suck i have good grades, friends, family but i still feel so empty every night. I know if i come out theyll still love me but i can never bring myself to say it. Ive made plans around coming out ive tried talking to people, texting them, writing a letter but i can never bring myself to actually do it and i dont know why. The worst part is ive known i was trans for years but never really had dysphoria until recently and its constant and in my dreams im a girl when i imagine my future im a girl i cant see myself ever being someones husband but its like theres a wall i just cant get through. I know my parents would support me and i know our insurance would cover hrt, i know my friends would still be my friends but its like theres this wall and i cant get through it and i dont know why.

I am AMAB. Whenever I wear female items (dress/heels), I feel sexually excited.
I have a similar reaction when I see females wearing heels/dresses that I would find nice to wear.
On social media, whenever I see certain body shapes (ex: slim arms,etc) that I don’t have, I really wish I had them.
I also would want to act like a girl (ex: feminine behaviors) in a social setting but I don’t want to be that forever? IDK.