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Hi, I want to share something I’m dealing with. My roommate is outing me to people in the asylum center as gossip.

All three of us (me, my roommate, and the other guy) are asylum seekers. I’m 23M, my roommate is 27M, and the other guy is 42M.

A guy on my floor messaged me on Grindr. I ignored him because I’m not interested, and I didn’t block him because I was afraid he’d confront me in person. 

Then my roommate told this guy that I like him, “as a joke.” I don’t.

My roommate also outed me as trans to him, even though I had asked him not to out me to anyone.

After that, the guy told my roommate that since I am very young and small, sex is going to be very good. He also asked for my number from him.

The next morning I asked my roommate, and he said he hadn’t told anyone. But that night he admitted he told him. I think he told others too. He lies a lot, then says he’s joking.

He apologized a few days later, but then said he sometimes calls himself trans, and posted a WhatsApp story titled “Trans.” He says outing is not a big deal, and that he’s not a real trans person, he just likes to call himself that sometimes. I feel like he is mocking my gender identity. He calls himself trans to make it look like I am being a bad person here.

Am I overreacting? What would you do?

I have never been able to necessarily grow the kind of boobs that fill out any bra, but I realized something that happened right under my nose. My boobs disappeared on me. They’re just gone.

I’m a small person. I’m 5’0 and range anywhere between 103lbs and 111lbs depending on how much I’ve eaten in a short few days.

Back in August, I recognized breast growth after a long while. I have been on HRT for 6 years now and never had the best luck with anything besides buds, so I was excited to have finally gotten something. I have pictures saved in my phone for reference. I was around 109-110 pounds at that point. I wasn’t eating as much as I do now, but I weighed more. I currently weigh around 104lbs.

I mention weight because that’s the only thing I can think of, but I wouldn’t take losing less than 10 pounds because of the kind of natural fluctuations that happen at this size, to be the thing that completely robbed me of breasts that took years to even show up.

I literally just put it together after feeling frustrated that my bras are just empty now. I remembered back to when I could fill them out two months ago.

Is there something I’m missing, something I need to do to get them back? I can assure you that I eat as much as my body allows me. It’s one big meal a day, I don’t know if my brain is just broken, I just can’t eat as much as other people say they do. I just know my diet wasn’t different in any significant way when I did grow breasts.

Any help is appreciated. Thank you. :3

I came out to my family probably about 4-5 years ago now, and it didn't go particularly well. My dad and two sisters were "accepting" in that their reaction wasn't explicitly transphobic, but nobody really bothered learning my new name and pronouns. My mom's reaction was the worst though. She's very very religious, right wing, prone to conspiracy theories, etc. I'm sure you all can imagine. Her reaction to my coming out was extremely negative and more or less soured our relationship to the point where we don't really talk much anymore. She has never once referred to me as a woman, nor does she know the name that everyone in my life barring my family calls me.

Yesterday, I had the first productive conversation with my father about my transition basically since I came out, and he thinks it would be a good idea to write my mom a letter and just lay it all on the table. I haven't put a ton of thought into it yet, but I was kind of planning on just writing about my experience being trans, why it makes me happy, and I'm also planning on including all the ways in which her negative reaction to my coming out hurt me. To be honest though, I'm struggling to think of what else I should say. Has anyone else done this? What would you say? Is this even worth doing?

To add more context, I'm a grown adult and do not live with or even near my parents, so writing this letter will not jeopardize my safety or living situation

I'm a FTM 17 and I came out to my friends last week. Not my parents yet because they reacted weirdly when I came one the first time then I tried to be a girl for them but anyway.

When me and my friends were talking, they commented about me getting bottom surgery ( when I looked it up and I wanted to see the imagery as I am very curious not trying to sound weird I was genuinely curious). Anyway I got uncomfortable as I'm not dysphoric about that so I said I didn't want to and they made jokes about it, but since then lately I've been curious about what makes a true masc.

If people have advice that would be great thanks

Also this is my first post and sorry for the bad English and layout 😭

Edit:

If you give advice, and if I don't reply don't see it as I don't see you, I do. I just don't know how to say thanks for the support without repeating myself but if you do thanks a lot and I appreciate the support 🤭

Hi
26 F
Been transitioning for 6 years (3 years DIY) (1 year post op)
Due to inconsistent finances over the years my dosage has also been inconsistent from time to time.

For the first 3ish years, I was under the care of an endo, I had very low levels of E, as well as been prescribed utrogestan for breast development
Edit: utrogestan is a brand of progesterone

After a while I became dissatisfied with the care I was receiving and went DIY, and now my E is within a normal range
There have been periods of time where I lost access to HRT however.

But my fear is that the periods of low E and being prescribed an utrogeston for breast development would be negative in the long run, as I heard of you start utrogeston too soon in your transition it can limit breast growth overall?

I hadn’t started utrogeston again after I went DIY but I would like to help with my breasts developing more, I hope I haven’t hit a ceiling on it.

I really enjoy painting my nails, I like the look, the color choices, the feminine expression, and it makes me happy to see them. One time a girl at my job asked me to see them and was talking with me saying this is how girls talk about their nails. I really liked that experience and I wondered why it made me happy to be told that. I’m now currently really wanting to paint them a lot more and have been questioning if I have been experiencing gender euphoria through them. The possibility that I will not be allowed to paint them soon scares me and makes me incredibly sad.

My son is trans. He came out around age 11. I don't have a problem with that, in fact I was the one who suggested he transition. He told me that he didn't feel like a girl, and I told him to just try out living as a boy and if it didn't feel right he could just go back to how he was. He picked a new name, and that was that.

The thing I'm wondering about is that I have advised my son not to seek gender reaffirming care. To be clear, he has the final say in this. If he was like "I can't take this, I need gender reaffirming care" we would do it. But I'm terrified for the current political situation in the United States where we live. The Trump administration has already requested the medical records of every child in my state receiver gender reaffirming care. The state refused to provide it, but with the current supreme court I have no faith that if push came to shove the records could be kept from them. We live in one of the most progressive cities in a very progressive state, so while we haven't officially changed his name most of the institutions he has to deal with use his new name and not his dead name. I'm less worried about that, but procedures that produce medical records create a paper trail that I'm afraid will be harder to hide.

His gender identity seems to be more fluid (he prefers he/they pronouns) so thus far it hasn't been a big issue. That said I know that there are things he would like to change about his body. He hates his breasts, women in my family tend to have very large breasts and boy did he ever get that gene. When he first came out that wasn't even an option because he was so young, but he is 17 now so it's something that could happen. Same deal with hormone therapy, at the start of this when Biden was in office we did go to a gender clinic to talk about getting gender reaffirming care. He is scared of needles so he didn't want to do injections, and none of us were confident that he could use the gel options responsibly and regularly - so he decided that he wouldn't seek hormone therapy.

My son is autistic and has ADHD. The autism isn't severe, but at 17 he probably has the maturity of a 14 year old. He usually can't do more than 4 hours out in the world before he needs to hide in his room to recharge his social battery. He is highly dependent on me, if the fascists in charge of our country right now took him away he would not survive. I want him to be his authentic self - but I'm so scared that he will be hurt.

So my question - am I doing the right thing? I know that visibility is important, and that being out supports the community as a whole, but I just don't think he is strong enough to face that on his own without me to support him - and there has been plenty of talk on the right of taking trans kids away from their supportive parents. What I told my son is that right now we need to do what queer people have done since the beginning - hide. I hate it, but I feel like that's the reality we are in right now. He is 17, so in a year he will be making his own decisions - but I feel like he will still look to me for guidance. I just want to get the perspective of the trans community, because I don't know what is right anymore.

My entire state has had a shortage for half of the year, and I’m completely out of my reserves. I use injections because I’m allergic to the patches and the oral isn’t strong enough. I still have Spiro and Progesterone aplenty, so I was wondering if I should continue taking those and essentially having no hormones in my system for the next few weeks, or if having T in my system would be fine and not cause adverse effects.

For context, I’ve been on HRT for 5 years, and my pharmacy said they should be getting more Estradiol sometime in the next two weeks.

I have also never tried DIY, but I would be open to it if there’s an easy method of getting liquid Estradiol.

So I'm FtM 22 (23 on 11/30) and prior to HRT, I didn't really shed very much. I do now though. Like, excessively. My hair is extremely short and it genuinely feels as if there is no end! I have really sensory issues with things being on my hands/around my fingers so washing my hair is a nightmare. I can brush my hair for 30 minutes until it looks smooth as butter, but then I run my hand through my hair less than 5 minutes later to style it and my hand is COVERED in loose hair! I'm at my wits end and I am terrified this may be a medical thing but I can't see my primary before I move on the 30th and due to how far I am moving, I will need to get a new primary doctor. Any advice and tips or really anything is appreciated. Thank you!

Did you notice anything and how long after starting HRT did that start to happen?

Hello everyone,

Since we are closing in on the midterms, I (28m) have been inundated by ads (as I’m sure everyone else has as well). Seemingly the biggest issue in all of the Republican ads I have to sit through is about Gender Reassignment Surgery on minors. The ads are obviously ridiculous and hyperbolic, almost to the point of caricature, but it made me realize that I do not actually know what the general view of the Trans community is on Gender Reassignment Surgery and minors. Is it generally viewed as something that should not be done before the age of 18, or is it something that should be readily available as an option? Is there a more nuanced position regarding this? I have read truly wonderful accounts of people who go through the procedure and feel complete happiness/satisfaction afterwards, and have thought that this could be something that could truly help many minors that are trans, but at the same time, it does seem like quite a big decision to make, and I know that at least for myself I would not be comfortable with my younger self making such a big decision. I am curious as to what the general community thinks of these things.

I’m sure that I could find these answers by looking it up, but I enjoy dialogue with people that have experienced/lived something that I have not. I hope that this post comes across as respectful, and that the questions I have raised are in good faith. If I have made any statements that are hurtful or appear to be in bad faith, please let me know. Thanks and I hope you have a wonderful day!

So, it’s been around five days since I “came out” as genderfluid. I put that in quotation marks because it wasn’t really intentional or expected. It kind of came out of nowhere. It was really late and I was having a bit of a gender crisis, so I texted my boyfriend. He offered to call me a few different prounouns, and I gave a hesitant yes. Turns out I feel about as fine with she/her as I do he/him, although the one I prefer comes in waves. It was rather melodramatic, really, I came back to school Monday and not much changed. At least on the outside.

I’ve always been a bit uncomfortable with my own confused identity, so this has kind of been rocking my world. I have ADHD, and this has given me a much more peaceful feeling inside than usual. But at the same time, it’s extremely stressful to have to look inward and sift through my confused self to find what gender I am in the moment. And the easy solution to this would be just use they/them, but I don’t feel like a they/them, and never have.

To help myself with this new identity, I carry a hoodie around and swap between them - when I feel like a man I wear it, when I don’t I take it off. But I don’t exactly switch consistently or in long intervals, so that becomes annoying. And, on top of that, it feels like I’m pretending to be trans because the rest of my friend group is some kind of queer.

Obviously, my boyfriend is super nice and affirming and lovely to me, as he’s a trans man and can very much relate to how I feel. But he can only do so much before my own self doubt creeps in.

What do I even do about this?

I was offered some very huge financial aid to go to school in boston (Fisher College) and i wanted to know how the enviornment is for transfems, and what things about the area should i know before hand

I've recently come to terms with the fact that I am trans in some shape or form. I have only come out to one of my friends because I needed advice about what to do about my straight partner. I guess my main question is where am I supposed to start with this stuff?

I'm sure that's subjective and I'll have to work it out by myself but I really need to speak to someone about this right now and while I'm yet to tell my partner I can't talk to any of my friends as they are mostly mutuals. I have a very supportive family and friend network I'm not worried about them being angry or dismissive of me, more that I feel so much shame and embarrassment at the thought of making any outward physical steps.

I feel as though I've lied to all my friends for the entirety of my life. I knew I was trans as a teenager but I pushed it away in order to continue the relationship with the love of my life, ever since I've ignored it. She left a few months ago to travel for a while and it left me alone to confront it all, I feel like I've been cheating on her for years by keeping this to myself even though I wasn't actively doing so, I just think my brain refused to entertain the idea.

Anyway I feel like I'm rambling because I'm lost as fuck right now, idk what to do but I feel like while she's still away I should be exploring how I feel more so I have some concrete things to say to her when we see eachother in a month. How do I start?

Hello everyone! I’d love to hear from other trans women who choose not to disclose their trans status online (living "stealth" or just blending in as cis women). What has your experience been like, and what advice would you give to others?

I am a trans woman myself, and I mostly stay low-profile about my identity online. Lately, I've been asking myself: is it actually worth it? Would it be better for my mental health to just stop hiding and be openly trans?

The main reason I stay stealth is that I absolutely cannot stand the casual transphobia that is everywhere online. At the same time, carrying this secret and constantly filtering myself is becoming incredibly exhausting. I just want to stop hiding.

How do you balance the peace of mind that comes with anonymity against the exhaustion of keeping a secret? I appreciate any insights or personal stories.

Thank you!

Hi everyone,

I'm a young man from India, and I'm looking for genuine advice about something personal that I've been struggling to understand.

I'm in a relationship with a woman who is around 15–16 years older than me. I care about her and want to continue our relationship. I've also thought seriously about having a future together and possibly getting married.

But there's another side of me that I've been trying to understand.

Since I was around 12 years old, I've had recurring feelings about wanting to be a girl and living life as a female. For years, I tried to ignore these feelings, and sometimes they became less intense. However, lately they've been coming back more strongly, and I'm starting to wonder whether becoming a girl is something I genuinely want.

I'm not sure what these feelings mean for my future. I don't know whether I'll eventually want to transition, whether these feelings will become clearer with time, or how my relationship might fit into all of this.

I care about my partner, and I don't want to hurt her or make promises about our future without understanding myself better. At the same time, I don't want to suppress an important part of myself just because I'm afraid of what might happen.

I'm especially interested in hearing from people in India because family expectations, social judgement, marriage and transgender acceptance can make these decisions complicated.

I'd really appreciate advice on a few questions:

1. Has anyone experienced both a committed relationship with a woman and a recurring desire to become a girl or transition?

2. How did you understand your feelings over time? What helped you figure out what you genuinely wanted?

3. Is it possible to maintain a loving relationship while exploring your gender identity? How did you communicate with your partner?

4. If you were in my position, how would you approach an honest conversation with your partner without rushing into a decision?

5. Are there any Indian people or couples who have navigated a similar situation? What challenges did they face?

6. Would you recommend speaking with a gender-informed counsellor before making any major decisions?

I'm not asking strangers to decide my identity or tell me whether I should stay in my relationship. I'm hoping to learn from people who have been through something similar so I can understand myself, respect my partner's feelings and make thoughtful decisions about both our futures.

Please be kind. I'm sharing something personal, and honest advice without judgement would mean a lot to me.

Thank you for reading.

hii all (:

I'm about to social transition after almost an year of HRT due to a procedure that i believe will help break most of my mental blockers. which is funny cause this isnt a FFS. so i will still not pass but will fell comfy enough to "come out"

i currently hide myself with layers when i need to go out, or avoid social interactions and this is killing me i just want to live and meet ppl and do stuff even if i don't really pass. like i really can't live in a cocoon anymore i'm super frustrated with this

so basically i am a bit terrified 😅 and anxious with this coming out process. obviously i wont be using dresses or super feminine stuff day one, but i will be showing off and not hiding my figure anymore.

wanted to read some experiences, if you may share. also any tips you have on this would be helpful <3

I have a friend who said that even after they transitioned medically, they still dream of a pre-transition version of themselves. But then I have an older trans friend who says that they don’t dream that they are their older self. And I’m just curious what to expect when it comes to dreaming, as somebody who is starting their transition process soon.

Hi, my partner recently came out as trans, hasn’t told many people and I of course don’t want to out her. We live in her parents home and she doesn’t want to start using her new name and pronouns until after she starts HRT. For context her parents are not safe to tell and she wants to wait until we move out (either together or separately, unsure yet but will likely take 6 months or more)

I initially came across as unsupportive by accident but I am starting to get on board with everything that is going to change and I’m starting to feel really excited for her and our future together. Shes told me the name she wants to use. I’m worried that if I start using her name and pronouns that I may slip up in front of someone who doesn’t know. I really don’t want to out her or take any part of her journey away from her.

Is this a normal fear? Is it just anxiety? Should I ask her if I can keep using her deadname until we are somewhere safe?

I also just feel really uncomfortable using her deadname now. Is that normal at the start?

For a little bit of context, i recently realized im nonbinary transmac (im AFAB).

I have 4 siblings whom I know are really open minded so I started thinking about coming out to them.

I tried to mention the topic of gender identity with one of my sister and she started talking about how genders are made up anyway and people should stop trying to feel "something" and just be themselves outside of labels.

I mentioned it with another one of my sister and I asked her how she thought our mom would react and she said that my mom also think that genders are bs anyway and we should just feel like ourselves because it didn't make sense "if you feel like a man does it means that you are going to start wearing blue?".

Some days ago I saw a post saying the same thing, that genders are a made up things and that its all stereotypes so you can't "feel like" a man because what we call a man is all stereotypes so why not just be yourself without a label.

I can "kinda" see what they are trying to say but it makes me feel a bit invalidating like I can't be trans and that if I wanna be more masculine "why dont you just dress/act more masculine without having to call yourself a guy bcs that's like saying you have to be a guy to be masculine and girls cant".

The truth is even if im a masculine girl I'll still be a girl to society and that's what I dislike. In fact I do like feminine things, its really the "being a girl" part that I dislike.

Im all about people dressing and being who they want but in this society isn't it a bit complicated to be your true self without no label at all?

Im not saying unlabeled people don't exist (they do and they are totally valid) but you can't dismiss someone gender identity bcs "genders are all made up anyway".

I don't know if what I said even makes sense or what I even want from yall ( probably just reassurance and validation tbh 😅) but I needed to vent to someone since apparently no one around me believes in labels....

I am a teen girl, and I love being a teen girl, but I would give anything to be a boy. I have had gender dysphoria my whole life and feel absolutely awful every time I get reminded of being a girl.
But I am not at a place in my life where I can transition and I am not really interested in it. I have a very religious family and a promising future in ballet. I do not want to transition, but I need to get rid of my gender dysphoria ASAP. I really can’t continue like this and I don’t know what to do