I'm at a point with weed where i smoke it to feel good BUT i do it so often that I'm starting to get concerned. While that hasn't really affected how much i enjoy getting high, I'm starting to want to just be consistently happy and not rely on weed as a pick me up all the time.

it concerned me the most when i tried to go without it for a day or two and it felt impossible to see my life without weed. i Realize this is a problem in itself but my biggest concern is...

WILL i be able to be happy regularly after becoming so reliant on marijuana?

Like i do it right after i get off work, right after im done getting ready in the morning on my days off AND im smoking all day on the days im off.

I'm confused because i want to believe that I'm "just one of those people that weed works for" but at the same time i think people that tell themselves that are lying to themselves because they're deep in addiction.

i still enjoy smoking it but i think my potential is being snubbed becuase im smoking it.

but at the same time im worried that ill still be the same person after i stop smoking.

so im finding it hard to tell if i should quit or not.

I'm so disappointed and my good mood is entirely killed. One google for you, 1 hour total traveling time for me. Why would she even ask me that, come on you've had a computer for 20+ years. She said she removed the shortcut from the desktop. Seriously how bad can it be?

Yes, it's good to know what you're saying, and Yes, you're always learning, Yes the mind isn't a cup that has a limit of filling .

But, if you find you feel you've searched to what you could, you've done your research, etc etc.. no one says you can't deep dive, something fun. Do a full plot outline of family tree in Harry Potter.. something.

It means, not ignoring the little twinkle or twinge, saying.. I wonder if.. Look that up. Find out. Don't have to do research about serious things, 100% of the time.. why are some eggs brown, others are white ?

Obvious answer might be, different chicken breed but You might've not known that.. look it up. No ones chastising your search history ..you can Google whatever, and not look like an idiot ..no one looks at that, except maybe your friendly neighborhood cia agent. But even then, he's probably bored half the time. Look up something interesting ! .. but not too concerning like, bombs, etc. And now I've used both cia And bombs, I'm on a watch list. If you never hear from me you know I'll be abducted. Thank you .

What actually makes someone a bad person? I often wonder this about myself, because I easily get frustrated and can often be an angry loser. I often feel alone and often berate myself for such mistakes as my goal in life is to be a good person.

So I know what is to be done to be good, but I am lazy and fail to correct my mistakes despite knowing what must be corrected. Impulse and general unhappiness and loneliness stops it every time. Sometimes it isn’t even that, it’s just adrenaline. So, using myself as an example, does that make me bad as a person? Or just lame and shitty?

On the other hand, i have met people who have committed horrible crimes, who have lied to extreme extents and who have cheated on their partners.

I have also met people who are so kind and loving, but who also have intense gossipy streaks and extremely judgemental personalities. I have met people who constantly put others down for their own enjoyment (I’ve been on the end of that a good few times), but also hugely kind and encouraging people who have had incredible bursts of anger and have ruined relationships with it.

I guess I’m having a nit of a crisis of personality myself, as my anger and impulsive behaviour is being worsened by loneliness and is pulling people away from me. But what actually DOES make someone a bad person? Because it’s so grey for me, and some people who I love have been deemed bad despite me thinking that they are alright. It’s just something that is very complicated for me, and I would like to understand further. Morality is a strange concept.

37 year old male from US. Removed from what the yoots are listening to. So what are you listening to? Not just asking zoomers but that’s what I’m most clueless on.

I’m surprised when young people I work with put on the music I grew up with, but at their age I was also jamming to 1970s music my dad grew up with.

I “listen to everything” but mostly bass music now. The Mountain Goats are my favorite band and I will bump anything Talib Kweli or Kendrick.

Edit: you all have better taste than me.

I'm moving back to Sweden soon. All my obligations over here in Japan are over, and so is the adventure. I can't afford doing any small side trips.

It feels like I'm in a liminal space of time, like a hallway before going to the official room. It feels incredibly strange.

No more tournaments or anything to train for (not that I've won any), no more upcoming trips, nothing.

There may be somewhat of a somber feeling since I came here to move here, and my life goal will go unfulfilled. But no matter.

I just applied to this factory CNC operator position that has hours I really like. I love manufacturing work, and I've been super excited for this job. Today was my interview, and I thought I was totally ready. Usually I crush interviews. I think I've only ever had one job interview that I didn't get. I've gotten to where I don't feel nervous or bother to prepare at all. I just walk in confident and make it work. I've even had three different interviews where I went off on random tangents about world politics and I still got the job. (It helps that I've only ever applied for entry level meathead jobs.)

So I didn't think this was going to be any different. I walked into the interview room, shook their hands, and then they said "So tell us about yourself."

Nobody told me that that was going to be the whole interview. In all my entry level meathead interview experience, they always ask you questions like "What would you say are your strengths?" or "What would you do if the building caught on fire?" or "Why did you decide to apply for this job in particular?"

So I ask them "Uh. . . What do you want to know?" and they're just like "Whatever you think is important." So I just sort of explain that I enjoy working in factories before vaguely trailing off and mentioning that I recently took a trip to Japan. I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST ASKING ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF BUT ACTING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT IT. After I trailed off they just asked me why I left my last job and then what salary I expect, AND I DECIDED TO HIGHBALL THEM BY A DOLLAR.

I walked out feeling vaguely confused about the whole thing, and like 20 minutes later I thought of something I should've said and I was like "Oh man, I should've mentioned that when they asked about, uh. . . about. . . Did they ask me any questions? Wait, was I supposed to bring this up when they asked me to talk about myself!?"

Fortunately I managed to slip in a few positives about myself when they asked why I left my last job. Like I mentioned that I had a former manager seek me out and headhunt me into a different company to be his assistant manager. I can't imagine if they're going to read that as "Some idiot with a single unlikely story," or "Some competent guy who's profoundly terrible at selling himself."

I wish I could just walk back into the office and be like "No wait, I get it now. You wanted me to talk about myself. Yeah, it's a tough question. Took me a bit to wrap my head around it, but let me tell you about myself." At this point I'm just hoping that anybody else who applied is an even bigger meathead.

Lately I've been completely unable to function at my current job. I came to the conclusion that I hated it, so I found something new. Now, I'll be working somewhere with less flexibility but that is closer to what I have done for the majority of my career.

The thing is I constantly experience mental distress as a result of various experiences that are difficult to explain. I could tell you about the portal in the back of my head and how the entity sends me messages through synchronicities, but he's not doing that right now because he wants to convince me I'm imagining it. It makes it very difficult to believe my diagnosis.

I indicated on my pre-hire paperwork that I am disabled but I don't know how to broach the subject with my new employer because I'm not even sure what kind of accommodations I can reasonably request or even need.

I want to be functional and people think I'm doing well, all things considered, but I don't feel well or functional. I just hide it and downplay things because I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy. But I also know they won't believe me.

I really want to do well at this new job, but I'm afraid. I hope I haven't destroyed my life by giving up a job that was accommodating but that I hated and made me deeply unhappy.

Now the music is talking to me. What just came on Spotify. I swear it talks to me and it's talking to me now and that's exactly what I mean. Each of these lyrics is spot-on and I can't stop moving. I am losing my train of thought. See it's only just worse even then when I think I'm trying.

"It's not in my head. It's in my blood." like it's taking my blood and wants it. It's told me that before too. Or should I say He. I use both for him/it.

I'm so sorry. I don't know how to talk about it. I don't know what to do with anything but I just hope I haven't made a mistake and that I can do it.

A: the second you turn up the music when it was just quiet, someone has to take an important call for 20+ min so you need to turn down the music.

Or B: someone has to pee so bad their bladder is about to pop every 30 minutes.

Cause it was both for me this road trip.

As it was time to fix our clocks a few nights ago, it felt like I was given a new start. I get why many people prefer summer saving time and the change is mostly in my head in my case, but there's just something about it. I'm ready to welcome fall while I brace myself for the winter.

That's really all I wanted to say. Have a peaceful fall season, everyone <3

I (f21, if that matters) made out with a guy about a week and a half ago. The guy himself was a pretty shitty romantic interest, but we made out, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Not because I miss him, although I will admit that he was physically very smooth. He was confident, and I liked that.

My issue is that when he first kissed me, I couldn’t help but pull my head away because I was so shy. I had no confidence. He mostly had to coax it out of me, not verbally, but physically. Obviously, that probably made for better flirtation between us, but after we were done, I felt really embarrassed. Even though he knew I wasn’t exactly experienced (at least not as much as him) I felt like he had the upper hand, and I think that stroked his ego. I don’t think anything else could have stroked it quite as much.

(24M) I graduated in july, this year, but couldn't find any decent jobs on my area. This fact let me severely depressed, so i decided to take an attitude. I decided to study for an exam for a Tech School. These last seven weeks, or so, i've been on the "cave mode". I barely leave my room, studying Math, Physics, subjects that are not my jolly ranchers. When i'm overwhelmed, i read a book i like or watch a movie, to rest my mind. I cut the contact with all my friends, including a girl i was dating, because i couldn't waste a single hour. The exam is at december 13th. I had other hobbies that i, unfortunately, also had to cut for a while, or else i couldn't dedicate myself enough.

The fact is that i'm not with energy. I'm bittered about my situation. It was a huge disappointment i had from life. I was defeated, and feeling like a loser. I'm fighting back and trying to overcome, or else i feel i'll be a loser forever, and i don't want it. All my family and friends are worried about me, because they noticed i'm quieter and absent. I cannot organize myself enough to have all this energy to do multiple activities at time. I feel easily overwhelmed. I'm also worried about my isolation, but i feel there is no way to succeed. My parents say "everyone has a lot of things going on , you need to leave your room for a while and socialize". They are not wrong, but i'm also feeling too tired and too much into my head to socialize. I would like to know how people can do multiple things at the same time.

Picture this: 25 years old, almost 300 pounds, low self-esteem, and low ambition, in the tech field, which requires continuous learning, a drive to upskill, learn new technologies, and earn certifications.

That's me. I don't have the drive to roll out of bed; the only thing that gets me up is needing a job to live and a cat who needs to eat. I honestly think this stems from me being diagnosed with Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) five years ago, having my life turned upside down, and being told all the stuff you've been doing, like working out, boxing, powerlifting, and drinking tea, can end your life; it makes you not want to do anything at all. At 22, I got an ICD implanted in my chest in case anything would happen, and my limits became stricter; I wasn't allowed to lift more than 5 pounds, and the most I could do for cardio was a brisk walk, being told that broke me. I fully gave up and started eating fast food pretty much every day and spent my time playing video games and watching porn. Even though I had a girlfriend who wanted to have sex with me, I didn't feel like she should have sex with someone who's a slob and has given up on themselves.

At 25, I underwent open-heart surgery, and they cut out the thickness within the left side of my heart, which meant I was no longer under any restrictions and I could do whatever I wanted. But I've been living life as if I was gonna die anyway so I didn't care about my financial issues, health, or general self-care. I didn't think I would make it this far, and now I feel these bad habits and mentality have been rooted inside me, and I don't know what to do to break free of this cycle.

I want to get healthier; I want to get back in the gym; I want to get back into boxing and powerlifting, but I can't bring myself to do it now. I still don't have the drive to get myself a better job, even though I know exactly what I need to do to get one. These bad habits have ruined so much of myself, I hate it so much and I want to fix all of this.

I am dumb. Extremely dumb. My parents are dumb too and horrible academically so naturally I am extremely dumb. But my parent have this insane delusion that I am really smart (I’m not). I fully admit I am dumb and while it is hard to be dumb I’m not ashamed to say this anymore and I refuse to let anyone convince me otherwise.

My entire high school, they kept telling me I was so smart despite there was so much evidence to the contrary. I hated school. The classes that everyone said were easy As gave me nightmares and I stayed up late doing work for them. I studied hard but I couldn’t grasp the concepts because I am mentally challenged. No amount of studying will make general chemistry or the most basic biology or 10th grade maths possible for me, let alone AP classes. I was failing multiple classes.

The entire time, my parents kept saying I was so smart and blamed me for just not trying harder (I was trying extremely hard with tutors and studying but I was exhausted). Whether I tried a lot or didn’t, the result was the same. I got horrible grades. They thought I was lazy and just didn’t apply myself which caused a lot of arguments. But I did try but it doesn’t mattter, because at the end of the day, studying won’t make me do much better. I tried literally everything. My teachers lied straight to my face, telling me that I am smart. And I believed those lies, so I tried to challenge myself in difficult classes. Well, that was a fucking fail.

I felt a lot of pressure to be smart because it’s seen as a desirable thing and well, people kept lying to my face saying I am smart so I felt that I needed to prove it. Those people lied straight to my face and I resent them for making me think I am smart.

After having awful grades for 3 years straight, a friend told me the truth: that I am mentally challenged and I need to be strategic. I saw the light. I am dumb, and very much so. So I started taking some super easy classes. I chose classes based on the teachers, the ones that give out As to everyone. I had an excellent academic performance in my senior year, not because I am smart, but because I just chose the right teachers who threw me a bone. I didn’t try harder or change how I studied. In fact, choosing these teachers was even less work and made my life so much easier. I didn’t do the readings or the homework but still got As. In college, I used ratemyprofessor to see which professors gave out free As. I had excellent grades because I chose an easy major and literally all of my profs were the nice ones who gave out free As.

To the outside eye, it looks like I started applying myself and taking advantage of my intelligence. The truth is, I have very little intelligence. I thank my friend so much for making me realize how utterly mentally challenged I am and it has made my life so much easier. When I was under the impression that I am smart, I was constantly failing and wondering why and trying harder and having meltdowns. Until I realized that I am truly dumb, and that doing well in those harder classes isn’t possible for someone like me. The only As I could get are the ones that are handed to me.

And no, this isn’t imposter syndrome. I’m telling you exactly how I got my As: they were free. I didn’t work for them. I’m not some secretly smart person feeling dumb. It’s easy to diagnose me with imposter syndrome because of my good grades now, but the truth is that all those As did not require any intelligence or effort.

In the end, I’ve realized that I am truly and utterly dumb, and this has epiphany has changed my life for the better. I will never let anybody convince me that I am smart again, because that mistake has given me endless meltdowns and sent me into so many spirals. It makes me beyond furious when people try to tell me I am smart even when I keep giving them reasons why I am not. When I am practically begging them to listen to me but they keep refusing my evidence that I’ve lived and collected firsthand and still for some insane reason insisting that “you are so smart!!!!! You just don’t see it!!” it makes me beyond furious to hear people try to lie like that.

I don't have anyone else to talk about this so here it goes. I am Turkish and in Turkey there is the yearly University exam. I took the exam three times and finally got into university. I was aiming for a really good engineering but my ranking wasn't good enough for one of the truly great engineering tracks in the really good schools so i kinda gave up on myself and got into medicinne instead, but now i feel like a failure. How do i defeat this feeling?

i've noticed people get weirdly defensive when you try something and then decide it's just not for you. like someone will suggest a game or show and if you don't vibe with it after giving it a fair shot, they act like you committed a crime. when did casual interest become an all-or-nothing thing? is it just me or does everyone around you assume that trying something means you're committed to loving it forever?

So I am stuck in the middle of nowhere Indiana. The only real jobs here are blue collar jobs and with 3 open heart surgeries, those jobs are not an option for me. No real white collar jobs or those that are there, barely pay $20 an hour. The closest city with white collar jobs is an hour commute and thats in good weather. While the hour commute each way doesn't actually bother me, the price of fuel would destroy me. The healthcare in this state is so disastrous that when I went to the states level 1 trauma center for cardiac issue due to inability to get my heart meds, they could not even be bothered to consult with a cardiologist. I had to figure out what was going on and figure out the treatment myself and the ER doc just went "ok" gave me the meds and sent me on my way.

The local hospital is only a Critical Access Hospital, a Franciscan network hospital, and I have to get my INR testing done there but they are so poorly run they are not able to do the simple finger print test that diabetics and people on blood thinners like me use. They have to do a full blood draw. I asked them if they could do my blood pressure (the cause of the ER visit) and they told me theyd have to admit me to the ER for me to get my blood pressure. ER... because they couldnt do the blood pressure otherwise because the automated machine was only found there.

I can't move because I have no resources to do so. I have worked as a business analyst, logistics analyst, and a quality control engineer but the QC job messed up my knees and hips. But remote positions are in free fall in terms of availability. The closest doctors that are familiar with my condition (Loeys-Dietz) are in chicago, about 3 hours away.

To make matters worse above all else, I tried using the states vocational rehab service but as soon as I was admitted into VR, I found out federally mandated services were not offered anywhere in the state. The only services that are offered are ones the state contractors can milk for money without needing to put in much actual work. They made federal compliance optional and have been exploiting the disabled since 2015, I even got them under oath in OALP court to testify to fabricating the data they submit to the federal government for funding which is passed along to the contractors. Every state official I took this too kicked it right back to the exact individual I have under oath testifying to defrauding the federal government. They have done this to 80K-120K (rough estimate based on # of clients per year x 10) hoosiers over the last 10 years.

I am at my absolute limits with this and this all likely to cost me my life...

Idk what other problems I’d be complaining about in the next few months but it certainly wouldn’t be any of the ones I’m suffering with now including chronic loneliness.

I used to work with my aunt and our family owned restaurant. I always found my aunts management style to be very unorganized and bizarre at times. She often let her staff come and go as they wished and never punished anyone for being late or anything. I worked there as a server and would be the only one who’d come in on time and consistently but often times, this meant I had to take on most of the work.

This created issues at times and I often butted headed with my aunt. I was also the account holder for the tv and internet service we had so often times when we got into an argument, her standard defense was to tell me to “cancel the tv and internet.”

This often happened when we’d argue about things completely not related to the tv or internet. I’d often argue with her about staffing issues and how she takes off too much work and how it was upsetting customers since it would take longer for them to get their food. I’d also constantly tell her that the cooks were not following local health codes and anytime she got frustrated with me, she’d tell me to cancel the tv and internet.

“If you don’t want to piss off your customers then stop taking on more than you can handle.” I said.

“Ok fine. Then cancel the tv and internet.” She’d say.

“What does that have to do with this?” I’d ask.

“I don’t know. Just cancel it.” She’d respond. Was this suppose to upset me? I never understood why she would say this but it makes me believe that her was her way to finding any reason to win an argument.

I’ve come to learn when someone brings up non related issues, it normally means that you’re winning the argument.

Any thoughts?

Weird question, I had an active reddit profile for years and suddenly when I tried entering my profile it asked me for my email, I of course log in with it and it logged me in as if I was creating a new profile and every trace of that profile was gone (I even entered old notification emails and they just showed error), I didn't had like a sentimental connection with that profile so I was too lazy to contact support and just continue with this new one haja, im just wondering if this happened to anyone else at some point?

Seriously, Why must I always feel alone? I have zero friends, nor do I have a girl to love. I'm EIGHTEEN years old, and I'm a virgin. Love has been on my mind every day for this entire year, yet I never had a speck of it, while other men my age are soaking it up. I can't go outside without seeing a couple, and feeling envious. Even my eighteenth birthday was spent alone, aside from going out to dinner with my family. There are so many men I see who are having sex... And I'm still a virgin; I've never kissed a girl. I feel unhappy everyday.

And the men... My envy towards them has only worsened. I can't step outside my house, read, or watch anything without seeing what I've always wanted, but am incapable of getting. Let's say we go in the 1900s-2000s, and men have had lots of love and sex. This has expanded into the 2010s up until now. And I'm a virgin. It has been very torturous.

I'm eighteen and I'm young, yes, but I'm reaching the end of hope. I'm feeling utterly inferior compared to other men my age I see...the hyper-masculine, animalistic men who magnetize girls. I can only imagine how good their sex lives must feel. They must be such a stallion in bed, complete with a stallion's penis and all.

I have good qualities for myself: I'm intelligent, sophisticated, learning German, have a passion for writing, and most importantly, I only desire to treat a girl with love, care, and companionship. Just thinking of all those men simply makes me want to cry.

I'm dizzy with anguish. Something must be done about those men, but how? And what? It seems this is how I've always been viewed-inferior. I've always seemed to be inferior to boys my age, and so girls seemed to care about me not, for other boys my age were better than me. Why am I always alone? Why must I always be unhappy? Someone make sense of something so ludicrous. I've tried what must be a dozen dating apps, and I've received no results, and social anxiety makes it hard in real life.

I am not trying to sound like some edgelord, it genuinely bothers me. I dont get scared or entertained by horror movies, when people tell crazy gross stories on the internet it doesnt baffle me or make me react, when horrible things happen to people that I know irl, or online, Im kind of just like "damn," but i dont have any strong feelings. I don't frequently watch porn and havent in a while, but not a single porn category/ video phases me (Im morally "grossed out" by things like ageplay, raceplay etc, but even so, Im just kind of like "ah hm thats strange" and i move on) It genuinely upsets me so much because I feel like I will never have a strong visceral reaction to anything ever again and it kind of makes me feel left out or something?? I dont know why this is occurring I don't feel like ive witnessed THAT horrible of events. The horror movie thing upsets me the most lol, I genuinely wanted to enjoy "Obsession" so damn bad but I was bored almost the whole time.
Anyways I hope some people can relate or maybe offer solutions or something idk.

Not all romani were gypsies, not al gypsies were romani. They sprawled across many countries Including Ireland where they weren't romani..

so I have No idea what to call the nomadic people that dressed like witch hippies since its sprawled across different nationalities, and ancestry .. and there is technically Not a name for that specific demographic ..outside, Nomads , that some find offensive. It Don't exist . You say Nomads, you don't think that Specific. Bc there were so many types, including jews at the time.. So WTF Do I call That Clothing Style? It Ain't Romani!! Romani s Many Things .. not Just gypsy, which is many nationalities, ancestry across Multiple places that Are Not that ..

There ain't a name for that ..it don't exist. So How Tf do I talk about that, when it's not ONE people.

Romani =/= gypsy, gypsy =/=romani. There were Irish gypsies As Well .. How do I talk about it. What do I call ancient traveling witch hippies that everyone gets what it is when I say one name .

I'm 31 and work as a maintenance planner in an industrial setting for the last year and 1/2. Great pay, great team and leader, somewhat in town, and off the tools… so seems like the perfect job.
But Lately I've been struggling with motivation, procrastination, feeling burned out and long time cannabis addiction, yes addiction for me bud.

I constantly feel behind. I'll put off difficult tasks, do easier ones instead, spend too much time on my phone, and often stay up later than I should watching YouTube, gaming, or smoking weed. I had to delete all socials to get off my phone more.
Last night I avoided meal prep, mind you I did have a busy afternoon with another event. But it’s been the same shit over and over. Wake up, either go back to bed or be late for work. Convince myself I’ll figure it out, waste majority of the work day. Then go home and start it all over again. Counting down the hours till the next day, wanting to get every second out of the night before tomorrow.

The thing I'm wrestling with is whether this is primarily burnout/stress, or whether I'm just not putting in enough effort. I also think it has to do with my values and realizing I’ve been faking it for so long about caring about my industry and work. Now I can’t just push through anymore, what use to get me out of bed can’t. And I’m not well off so I can’t just take a bunch of time off comfortably.

On one hand, I feel mentally exhausted and overwhelmed much of the time. On the other hand, when I'm honest with myself, there are definitely times when I choose short-term comfort over doing things that would help me long-term.
I don't feel completely lazy because I still show up to work, get some things done, and “care” about doing a good job.. meaning afraid of doing a bad job. But I also don't feel like I'm giving my best effort, and I’m slowing becoming someone I hate. I truly hate the the person I am becoming. Because I am slowly giving up.

Has anyone been in a situation where both things were true? Where burnout was real, but so was a lack of discipline or effort? How did you tell the difference, and what actually helped?

Sorry for the novel. I’m looking into short term disability but I’m Avoiding starting.. how dumb aha. But for now im quiet quiting, which I don’t think I deserve to do considering my team and leadership.
That’s my Ted talk. Thanks for reading.

Summary. Lazy, burnt out, addition, career miss match. Looking for inspiration or just straight up truth.

That is all.