Why do people self harm?

i think that is already pretty obvious but people only think of cutting when mentioned SH, which, makes sense yeah im sure most people who label it as SH cut usually. But people dont realise self harm is not about permanently scarring yourself w burning/cutting.

i had my friend say they hit themselves when angry and i know i would be more worried if it was cutting, it is such a harmful way of thinking. i personally cut and bite but i know no one freaks out to biting as much as they do to cutting.

i hate that they donr care about us harming ourselves but they only care about us cutting ourselves. idk if it make full sense i just wanted to say something about it.

Months ago, my parents found out I used to cut myself on my left shoulder, they talked to me about it and I started palpitating, heart beats stronger and heavier. They said "Please don't do it again" then a kiss on the forehead and we go on about our day. I'm currently thinking about it and it felt like it just passed by, like it didn't matter much to them but I do doubt that, I know that maybe lots of things are going on through their heads when they found out. Now, I relapsed because I'm failing my college course that I chose for myself. I'm failing them and losing their love.

What a great son I am to them. 19 years of bullshit.

So for context, i do sh but only occasionally. Whenever I have some problems I would rant to my teacher but I feel guilty for wasting his time and making him listen to me rant so I stopped. Im ranting to him cuz he's the ONLY person Ive openly admitted doing sh to. One thing ive completely forgotten abt is that he had a friend who died to suicide so I feel like my behaviour is bothering him more.

I dont want to admit to my friends that I sh. I dont want them to change the way they see me. I hate my family so I cant open up to them. You can say im rather estranged from them.

Who else can I talk to? School's counselor is a HUGE no cuz they will contact my parents and make EVERYTHING WORSE.

PLS HELP i feel so guilty. He says he doesnt mind and that he can ' handle' these ( cuz im someone who's quite sensitive or empathetic?? And i could lit FEEL someone's emotions when Im near them. So i could feel loadsss of negativity from him and i cld feel that he's pissed and frusrated over something so I brought that up to him) so i feel rlyyyy guilty for adding more negativity onto someone else esp if these arent their problems.

Idkk i hate opening up but i feel comfortable enough to open up to my tch cuz he was giving me fatherly ( or rather nice old grandpa vibes) BUT THIS GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE 😭😭😭

Who else can I talk to? How can I fix my problems? Im too young to get therapy without a legal guardian's signature and I def dont have the money to do so too.

This is pissing me offf soooo muchhh

I've been struggling with self harm for 5yrs and was sh free for 3yrs but recently fell back down the bad ways. I feel like I crave tending after my fresh wounds more than the act of cutting itself. I was wondering if anyone had an explanation or a way to cope. I have tried and got so many piercings since it seemed like a way to tend after a wound without making my family panic, but it's getting expensive and seems to not be enough anymore.

I'm so truly fucked up that regularly cutting is my best option for harm reduction right now because if I don't cut I start scratching myself till I have large (like 15 centimeter lenght) bleeding wounds all over my body (which are a bitch to keep clean and dry so they are a massive infection risk) or hitting myself hard enough to actually do damage, on the bad days I start dislocating my own fingers and on the really really dark days I dislocate my own fucking shoulders just to feel something.

So at this point it's actually the healthiest option for me to keep and use blades because then I set a couple surface level cuts on my tighs that heal in a week or so and don't do anything that either takes weeks or months to heal or will have permanent consequences. And the annoying thing is, everything I need for the "bad" selfharm (yes all selfharm is bad but not the point) is my own body while responsible cutting needs infrastructure (a clean blade, something to disinfect the skin, woundcare products...) and spoons I could really use for other things.

So recently ive been hiding my blades in a paper then folding them to put in my wallet, ive been noticing them moisting, reccomend some hiding spots to not make them rust? i dont want my family to see them and ask me what are they for. please post comments

This started recently, before I could keep myself sleep deprived starve and that would work but now that I've started to c u t, it's more like I forget why I even started do it and the only thought I have in my mind is that I want to see my blood.

Like sometimes you're pissed off, have a bad day or urge so you do it, but when I am doing it it all slips away from my mind and the only thing I can think of is that I want to see my own blood because I feel like if it doesn't bl e e d, it won't 'register' as a cut. Not like I go around telling people about it but that's just how it is. Also does anyone else feel like sh is evil? Idk why I randomly started to feel like it's evil even though ik it's related to mental health and stuff and is sensitive.

i’ve started using a hair tie on my wrist and it’s helping but it’s leaving my arm all bruised. i don’t know if i’m doing it too hardly or what. does anyone know anything similar enough to the hair tie method that i could try? i really don’t want to walk around covered in bruises lol.

I'm so unsatisfied with my pathetic cuts. Im tired of having to hold back in order to keep it a secret. Its really not enough. It was enough at first, but of course I crave more damage, more cuts, more severe scars. I dont want to hold back anymore. But I dont want to deal with the consequences of getting caught either. Im completely at my emotional capacity. I cant process any more stress or emotional pain. Im constantly thinking about hurting myself how I really want to. And getting closer. I can picture exactly what I want to do. I want to hurt, i want to make nice neat rows, i want them to be deep, i want to feel the sting under my clothes while i go about my life. I know it would satisfy me to go all out. I want it so badly. I worry that once im alone tonight, I'll do some damage that my partner will clearly notice. Even though he's oblivious to everything. I feel so alone. Like I'll never crawl out of this hole. I only dig myself deeper.

it's weird. its like I feel like im not addicted and I can stop whenever I want. but yet I still find myself doing it in the middle of the night when i'm in tears and feel helpless. im sure i'd never want to kill myself but I don't know when the line stops. every time i get deeper I feel more satisfied if that makes sense. It makes me feel more validated the more I bleed. Yet I don't want ANYONE seeing these wounds because it's hella embarrassing. I guess I do it as a sense of control and a punishment to myself. because damn my life is no where close to where I wanted it to be. and yet, I believe that I don't want to die. so why do i hurt myself???

Hi, I don’t use reddit often and I haven’t opened this subreddit in years. I. Don’t really know what I’m doing lol. But I don’t have anyone I can really talk to.
Right off the bat-
I’m not sure if any of this skirts the line of glorifying self harm, so I’ve got to say. I’m a freak and self harm isn’t cool. Do not think I’m pro hurting yourself. I’m just weird.

Anyways, that is to say that I’ve started cutting again and I’ve never felt more excited.
I ‘quit’ years ago. For most of my life- frankly I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t hurting myself somehow- I’ve been off and on self harming, but a few years ago I kinda stopped. My parents got fed up with me and I started taking anatomy and got suddenly kinda paranoid about infections and getting sick. I’ve always been kind of a nerd about diseases- and that’s kind of it actually. I’ve always been weird about this sort of stuff. Diseases, major injuries, scars- I think they’re really cool to learn about but I also think they’re just. Really cool. I think I started hurting myself when I was in like pre school cause I’d get angry and lash out, and I got in less trouble when i hurt myself then when i hurt other kids. But now I’m really just doing it for the scars.

It feels really stupid, I don’t have a good excuse and I don’t know what I’ll say when my folks inevitably find out again. But i just. Really missed it. I never really committed to being clean anyways, it was always like “yeah sure I won’t do it now- but never again? Not even once? Surely you jest.” You know? I’m kinda just waiting till I can move out so I won’t have to hide them anymore.

Lately tho- and this is the confession glorifying bullshit that i actually started typing this about- I’ve been haunted. Like tormented. By this idea. I have a small patch of little scars on the side of my thigh. It’s like a solid square of a bunch of small overlapping scars. And I’ve been thinking about- what if I extended that out? So it was like a stripe of scars down my whole leg? Just this big long stripe of little scars, kinda like a scar tissue mosaic from my hip to my foot-

I can’t stop thinking about it- and last night I put a bunch of scars up to my hip and it was fucking phenomenal- again I really do not at all encourage self harm, this is horrible and bad. But I felt on cloud nine about it. I don’t even know how to explain it- but it was the best I’d felt in awhile. And like I’ve tried healthier coping stuff- I’ve made art about it, written stories about it, tried to distract myself- all that shit. But self harm isn’t really a coping mechanism for me (cutting at least isn’t- I do still hit and bite myself when I’m really upset) so it’s not like I can just replace it with another coping mechanism or whatever. It’s just. Something i want to do. Because I like it.

I don’t know what to do- I don’t even know what I hope to get out of posting this. I don’t think I’m gonna stop, I really want to do these scars. I don’t know what I’ll do when people find out again- hopefully they won’t but. Honestly I think I might just have to tell them the truth this time. Idk.

I just needed to get this off my chest I think. So. Sorry for the big long rant. I hope you have a good day. Uh thanks for reading. :)

I don’t know if there is anyone else here who can relate. I started about 4 years ago when i started cutting and each time i think it’s going to be the last one but it never is. And i never seek real support because of that. Also i don’t really do it because i want to harm myself, i just don’t know how to cope with anger/frustration. I went through a period in which i wasn’t cutting but i would hit my chest very hard in these moments because they were frequent and, truly, i didn’t know how to cope.

I am afraid that seeking support means something is going to happen to me.

I am feeling so angry right now. I tried to download a rage room game to calm myself down but it does not work. I’m trying SO HARD. I’m going to get a piece of chocolate and put on some youtube but my brain is literally begging me.

I'm having a really hard time lately. I want to cut so bad. I feel really alone. I feel worthless. Kinda like I'm taking up too much space. Im 20 I stopped going to school in 9th grade so I don't really have any friends. I use to be all about my family but lately I've been so impatient and bitter. They all hate and I mean like really hate me. They just say I'm being a bitch while I'm genuinely fighting for my life. I just don't really know what I should do.

i keep trying not to do it, but i get back to my house every night, and sh. it started as like a few minutes but it’s become hours a day. i don’t really know what to do bc it keeps getting worse. i kinda just wanna chat with people who understand it and relate to it.

I really wanna do it less regularely and am looking for ways to distract myself even just for a little bit.

So id like to know if you guys have any advice or tips that have helped you that isnt just the rubber bands or ice cubes like common advice thrown around.

I specifically struggle with wanting scars and feeling unsatisfied when the wounds arent deep enough in my eyes.

So yeah im hoping anyone has something helpfull to share <3

(Im not asking for life changing advice, but just for tips that ad even just a few hours to my clean streak)

Hi I've never had this happen before and wanted to ask if anyone else has had this.

I've cut for a while on and off. Last night I did it again. I made several cuts on the front of my upper thigh It bled a bit but I didn't go especially deep. I'm talking a couple of trickles of blood as long as a finger, not heaps of blood loss. But I woke up in the night several hours later and felt really nauseated and light headed to the point my vision started to go fuzzy and narrowed (sometimes I've had this happen when doing a blood test but obviously didn't lose nearly they much and that's usually when I've fasted). Lay down, had some water, checked my temperature which was okay even though I felt hot and sweaty then went back to bed. The rest of the night I slept fine, better than usual honestly.

This morning I woke up feeling fine and since then I've eaten and drunk water but started feeling nauseated and light headed again. It's about 12-13 hours later The pain isn't too bad though I can feel it every now and then. It feels like it's related but I'm not sure why as I've never had this happen before. Heart rate and temperature are still fine. Am I just projecting? Maybe something else is going on and I'm just free associating I really don't know. Thank you.

I’m getting sick of living. Obviously I have to go on. I can’t give up now. Me dying would hurt too many people and I’ve already done enough… But I’m still sick of living. I’ve been just really numb and depressed for weeks now, everything is getting less and less fun. It’s hard to get through every day, and the urge to sh gets harder and harder every day. I cant even get professional help because they’d hust send me to a mental hospital and then boom I’d be behind a year in college, because I can’t even miss a few weeks here.

j just want it to get easier but it won’t. A lot of my professors here have warned us students that if we think now is stressful, real adult life is worse. You mean to tell me it just gets worse and worse?? After all the suffering I went through, it’s gonna get worse? I’d have thought what I went through would be the wkrst times of my life because that was already hell but it just gets worse and worse apparently. I’ve been through every type of abuse, neglected, bullied, burned, have been in a car accident, stalked, betrayed- and that’s caused me enough suffering only to be told time and time again that what I’m feeling now wont compare to adult life and I’ll feel 10x worse then

Wouldn’t death be peace for me then??? Instead of having to go on living? I already hurt so bad now it’s like im walking in hell, and it’s just gonna get worse. I hate that I have to stay alive. I hate it. Because itll just get worse and I’ll suffer more

I’m 25F and I did it a couple of weeks ago for the first time. I am in my lows of my bipolar disorder and I’ve been depressed. I’m ashamed,embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I did tell my therapist. I have been wearing long sleeves as I’m so embarrassed but I’m glad I told my therapist. I feel so ashamed and guilty.

Anyone else out there struggling with the same thing? I finally let someone in my life and I they ended up breaking things off with me last night. It was super confusing and I just feel so numb and also everything all at once?? I just keep thinking about reaching for that blade. Opened up to my siblings about it a bit because I’m just so tired.

Hi people I work as a swimming instructor on Sundays so I have to go into the pool.

What's the best way to treat (and maybe cover) cuts for the pool?

It's Tuesday night where I am now and I work on Sunday the whole day so maybe about 4 days and something till then.

The cuts are fresh and quite light, all on the back of my left arm so fairly visible.

Thanks for the help!

I am in an abusive household where everything is seen as transactional. Nothing that I own is truly mine, not my clothes, not my underwear, not my period pads, not even my gifts. They all “belong” to my mother, because she says she paid for them with time, effort and money.

She says the same extent about my body. She was disgusted when she found out I was harming myself and tried to claim that it harmed her more than me because “she gave birth to me, and I’ll never understand that unless I become a parent.” She claims it is disrespectful to the sacrifices and hardships she had to go through to give birth to me, as my self-harm is a destruction of it all.

She dares claim that my body belongs to her. She was appalled and horrified when I mentioned wanting to medically transition because I’m “destroying the body” and argued that doing that is worse than me cutting myself and leaving permanent scars on my body.

She’s the kind of person who uses blood as a way to connect family. Even if I forsake her or go no contact, I will always be her “daughter” because my blood comes from her.

I view self-harm as a way for me to claim my own body for myself. Even if it hurts, even if the marks I leave on my body are ugly and disgusting, at least it’s proof that my body is mine and nobody else’s. Seeing blood when I cut is both cathartic and a cruel reminder to me: it’s like seeing all proof of my mother’s blood leaving me and that thought fills me with joy but at the same time I hate it because I can never truly distance myself from her, as there would always be her blood within me.

She recently took away the only other safe haven I had, my journal, by reading it behind my back and taunting me with my private thoughts. Not even my own writing is mine anymore. I feel like self-harm is the only thing I have left that belongs to me and I can’t even do that anymore unless I want her to kick me out when she’ll inevitably do another strip check.

I have a recent cut healing, and it's been going well but it's not dounzheoring to a point where it's full skin. Tomorrow I have to go to a doctor who will be able to see the scars. Includinh that cut I have fairly noticeable scars.

My other doctor never gave a damn about my previous visible scars, but this is a different doctor I've never seen before, and including that I have a fresh cut healing that might be a challenging visit. My dad might also be there. So that's not something I'm happy about. I use a plaster but exploring a plaster would be challenging as of it's an area that basically has never seen any real damage,mostly superficial