So recently ive been hiding my blades in a paper then folding them to put in my wallet, ive been noticing them moisting, reccomend some hiding spots to not make them rust? i dont want my family to see them and ask me what are they for. please post comments

My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I asked him if there was anything I could do to save our relationship and he said we could maybe think on things, and that he wants to try. We're spending time apart for now.

This has been really hard on me, and I've returned to self harming. In a moment of distress I cut my forearm, which I haven't done since I was 14 (I'm 20 now). He knows about my self harming habits but I don't think he realizes that I picked it back up when I was 17 because of our relationship, and most of it has been because of our relationship (I think I might have BPD, it isn't his fault).

The main reason my boyfriend broke up with me is because he said he was overwhelmed with worrying about me. And I haven't made it easy for him with my constant overreacting and insecurity.

We have a class together tomorrow and I'm so scared he's gonna see the cuts and see it as more reason we should be permanently separated. I can't hide it with a long sleeve shirt because it's gonna be 70° and I'm really heat sensitive. I could blame it on my cat but I feel like it would still be suspicious. I don't know what to do. I think I'd rather drop the class than ruin my chances with him.

Any advice?

I'm so truly fucked up that regularly cutting is my best option for harm reduction right now because if I don't cut I start scratching myself till I have large (like 15 centimeter lenght) bleeding wounds all over my body (which are a bitch to keep clean and dry so they are a massive infection risk) or hitting myself hard enough to actually do damage, on the bad days I start dislocating my own fingers and on the really really dark days I dislocate my own fucking shoulders just to feel something.

So at this point it's actually the healthiest option for me to keep and use blades because then I set a couple surface level cuts on my tighs that heal in a week or so and don't do anything that either takes weeks or months to heal or will have permanent consequences. And the annoying thing is, everything I need for the "bad" selfharm (yes all selfharm is bad but not the point) is my own body while responsible cutting needs infrastructure (a clean blade, something to disinfect the skin, woundcare products...) and spoons I could really use for other things.

Basically the title. I had to go to Urgent Care for antibiotics. I'm so goddamn embarrassed but I can't help but laugh at the irony. I have carved all sorts of stuff into my skin, but "attention whore" is what gets infected and ends up needing looked at by a medical professional.

When I first started cutting my wrist, it was out of frustration, deep sadness, and/or anger. A way to let my emotions out. But now, a couple of years in, cutting my wrist has been on and off. I know it's wrong, and I've been able to stay sober, but the last couple of times, I feel I've taken it too far with where and why I do it. I don't know why I do it anymore; I just like the feeling. Seeing my scars makes me feel something. I don't know how to describe it. I now have a standout X marking on my forearm and my co worker who I looked up to asked if it was out of "Sadness, or a body mod?". And all I could tell them was that it was accidental scratches that so happened to make that shape. But reflecting on that comment more, why did I do that? It wasn't sadness or a major feeling. I just wanted to be able to see my scars more easily, so I made that shape. But I'm not proud of it; I wouldn't call it a body mod. Am I alone in this thought or feeling?

soy una adolescente,llevo bastante tiempo de este año buscando maneras de seguir limpia del sh,empece a los 9 años y estuve limpia hasta este años,donde recai varias veces,tengo atencion psicologica pero es horrible estar limpia,para que podais comprenderme mejor os contare mi situacion

en casa no tengo el mejor ambiente,mis padres todas las veces que eh recaido pues me han agredido de maneras fuertes,la ultima vez mi padre dio golpes a mi cabeza contra los azulejos de la cocina y luego intento ahogarme,en la primera recaida mi madre me arrastro del pelo por casa gritandome lo egoista que era

y en clases me es otro infierno el ser siempre un posive objetivo de acoso

claro,y si recaigo probablemente vuelvan los golpes y me encierren en casa (sin salir con mis amigos en las tardes los cuales son los unicos que me apoyan para poderme sentir bien),lo cual seria un infierno

a ver,yo si fuera por mi recaeria,pero todos esos factores me aterran,¿teneis algun consejo sobre que hacer (ya sea maneras de esconder cortes sin que sospechen o de como no hacerlo)

I don't want to continue this life, or any life to be honest. I get it, I have time where I am very happy, I have memories that I would cherish forever in my heart, I have ones I love that I will do anything for. But I'm just so tired of everything. I don't want to be stuck in a loop of studying, sleeping at 3, waking up, going to school, coming home and then studying. I'm so tired. I lost all motivation and time to persuade my hobbies, especially when grades mean everything to me, and to be honest. I fucking suck at all the things I like doing, and I feel like grades are the only part of my life now that there is a boundary to what makes me good, what makes me special and what makes me loveable. But keeping this up is so tiring. I feel like ripping my hair out whenever I get stuck on a question, I get a low grade or I see others better than me. I know I have a very toxic mindset but I just can't help it. I panic a lot, when I think of everyone else doing good and I'm falling behind, or when I see exams piling up, I start to panic really bad to the point where I would experience panic attacks and basically claw at my own arm. I keep relapsing on my thighs because I don't want my parents to find out I'm getting worse again. I don't think I deserve to feel worse. And I feel like despite the happy moments, the loop of suffering never ends. Even if I do well in this exam, what about the next one? Then what about the next grade? Then what about university? What about work? It never ends. I'm so tired I want to cry so badly. I don't want an increase in medicine dosage because it'll just make me gain weight and I've spent so much effort to lose weight back then, it makes me feel like shit if I were to gain weight again due to my mental health. I'm sorry if I sound toxic/ self destructive but Im just so lost. I feel so overwhelmed. I can't bring myself to end it because of all the happy memories but I don't think I can do this anymore.

I’ve been clean for months now, something I couldn’t imagine a year or two ago. Looking at the healed scars still does bring the urge to relapse, but I somehow managed to fight it.
The mixed feelings come from the fact that I didn’t choose to be clean. I didn’t wake up one day and decided I wanted to stop and become better. I simply just don’t have the energy to cut.
It feels nice to be able to wear shorts sleeves again and to not be questioned about every injury I might’ve gotten. Still, I find myself craving the attention it brought. I know self harm can bring those feelings up, but when it comes to me, I feel incredibly selfish and pathetic.
Most of my self worth came from the perverse rush of being tended over, especially when it came to my family. I feel angry at myself for having been the cause of a lot of their problems as a result of my mental health yet still wanting to continue.
Since I turned 18 this year, it feels like no one cares about how I might be doing recently. My family had chalked up my depression to teenage hormones, and now that I was legally an adult, I was expected to act like one.
A part of me agrees, so desperately wanting to heal. My biggest fear as a kid was to become exactly like the person I am today and I’m terrified to let my problems consume me.
I know I’m still young and I have many years ahead of me—but I had the idea of sticking to the plan my parents made for me drilled into my head since I was little. Straying away from that path and disappointing them has been the only thing that truly made me feel helpless. :’)

For context, i’ve struggled with social anxiety and panic disorder for a long time. Consciously i know these are real problems i have (i’m going to therapy and taking meds for christ’s sake), however some part of my issues makes me mental-gymnastics my way into thinking that nothings wrong and im just pathetic and etc, etc, etc. So i started cutting because i feel like that self harm crosses a line where i can subconsciously accept that i really do have mental health issues and am not just bad.
Im being careful so it shouldn’t be a medical concern.
I feel bad because i’ve cut once previously because i was in incredible distress, so feeling relatively okay while cutting makes me feel fake and manipulative.
I’ve had some experience with self harm before, when i was young i would gnaw at myself when i felt guilty for doing something wrong, as an adult i would hit myself when i got mad at a game, because I feel like getting mad is morally wrong somehow. I also have a bad habit of watching gore, i don’t know if this counts, but i fucking hate it, it makes me feel awful, and flashes of it come to mind in my day to day from certain stimuli (like driving next to a semi truck or picking up a boxcutter), so i felt like mentioning it.

Months ago, my parents found out I used to cut myself on my left shoulder, they talked to me about it and I started palpitating, heart beats stronger and heavier. They said "Please don't do it again" then a kiss on the forehead and we go on about our day. I'm currently thinking about it and it felt like it just passed by, like it didn't matter much to them but I do doubt that, I know that maybe lots of things are going on through their heads when they found out. Now, I relapsed because I'm failing my college course that I chose for myself. I'm failing them and losing their love.

What a great son I am to them. 19 years of bullshit.

So for context, i do sh but only occasionally. Whenever I have some problems I would rant to my teacher but I feel guilty for wasting his time and making him listen to me rant so I stopped. Im ranting to him cuz he's the ONLY person Ive openly admitted doing sh to. One thing ive completely forgotten abt is that he had a friend who died to suicide so I feel like my behaviour is bothering him more.

I dont want to admit to my friends that I sh. I dont want them to change the way they see me. I hate my family so I cant open up to them. You can say im rather estranged from them.

Who else can I talk to? School's counselor is a HUGE no cuz they will contact my parents and make EVERYTHING WORSE.

PLS HELP i feel so guilty. He says he doesnt mind and that he can ' handle' these ( cuz im someone who's quite sensitive or empathetic?? And i could lit FEEL someone's emotions when Im near them. So i could feel loadsss of negativity from him and i cld feel that he's pissed and frusrated over something so I brought that up to him) so i feel rlyyyy guilty for adding more negativity onto someone else esp if these arent their problems.

Idkk i hate opening up but i feel comfortable enough to open up to my tch cuz he was giving me fatherly ( or rather nice old grandpa vibes) BUT THIS GUILT IS EATING ME ALIVE 😭😭😭

Who else can I talk to? How can I fix my problems? Im too young to get therapy without a legal guardian's signature and I def dont have the money to do so too.

This is pissing me offf soooo muchhh

I've been struggling with self harm for 5yrs and was sh free for 3yrs but recently fell back down the bad ways. I feel like I crave tending after my fresh wounds more than the act of cutting itself. I was wondering if anyone had an explanation or a way to cope. I have tried and got so many piercings since it seemed like a way to tend after a wound without making my family panic, but it's getting expensive and seems to not be enough anymore.

i’ve started using a hair tie on my wrist and it’s helping but it’s leaving my arm all bruised. i don’t know if i’m doing it too hardly or what. does anyone know anything similar enough to the hair tie method that i could try? i really don’t want to walk around covered in bruises lol.

Hi, I don’t use reddit often and I haven’t opened this subreddit in years. I. Don’t really know what I’m doing lol. But I don’t have anyone I can really talk to.
Right off the bat-
I’m not sure if any of this skirts the line of glorifying self harm, so I’ve got to say. I’m a freak and self harm isn’t cool. Do not think I’m pro hurting yourself. I’m just weird.

Anyways, that is to say that I’ve started cutting again and I’ve never felt more excited.
I ‘quit’ years ago. For most of my life- frankly I can’t remember a time where I wasn’t hurting myself somehow- I’ve been off and on self harming, but a few years ago I kinda stopped. My parents got fed up with me and I started taking anatomy and got suddenly kinda paranoid about infections and getting sick. I’ve always been kind of a nerd about diseases- and that’s kind of it actually. I’ve always been weird about this sort of stuff. Diseases, major injuries, scars- I think they’re really cool to learn about but I also think they’re just. Really cool. I think I started hurting myself when I was in like pre school cause I’d get angry and lash out, and I got in less trouble when i hurt myself then when i hurt other kids. But now I’m really just doing it for the scars.

It feels really stupid, I don’t have a good excuse and I don’t know what I’ll say when my folks inevitably find out again. But i just. Really missed it. I never really committed to being clean anyways, it was always like “yeah sure I won’t do it now- but never again? Not even once? Surely you jest.” You know? I’m kinda just waiting till I can move out so I won’t have to hide them anymore.

Lately tho- and this is the confession glorifying bullshit that i actually started typing this about- I’ve been haunted. Like tormented. By this idea. I have a small patch of little scars on the side of my thigh. It’s like a solid square of a bunch of small overlapping scars. And I’ve been thinking about- what if I extended that out? So it was like a stripe of scars down my whole leg? Just this big long stripe of little scars, kinda like a scar tissue mosaic from my hip to my foot-

I can’t stop thinking about it- and last night I put a bunch of scars up to my hip and it was fucking phenomenal- again I really do not at all encourage self harm, this is horrible and bad. But I felt on cloud nine about it. I don’t even know how to explain it- but it was the best I’d felt in awhile. And like I’ve tried healthier coping stuff- I’ve made art about it, written stories about it, tried to distract myself- all that shit. But self harm isn’t really a coping mechanism for me (cutting at least isn’t- I do still hit and bite myself when I’m really upset) so it’s not like I can just replace it with another coping mechanism or whatever. It’s just. Something i want to do. Because I like it.

I don’t know what to do- I don’t even know what I hope to get out of posting this. I don’t think I’m gonna stop, I really want to do these scars. I don’t know what I’ll do when people find out again- hopefully they won’t but. Honestly I think I might just have to tell them the truth this time. Idk.

I just needed to get this off my chest I think. So. Sorry for the big long rant. I hope you have a good day. Uh thanks for reading. :)

I'm having a really hard time lately. I want to cut so bad. I feel really alone. I feel worthless. Kinda like I'm taking up too much space. Im 20 I stopped going to school in 9th grade so I don't really have any friends. I use to be all about my family but lately I've been so impatient and bitter. They all hate and I mean like really hate me. They just say I'm being a bitch while I'm genuinely fighting for my life. I just don't really know what I should do.

i keep trying not to do it, but i get back to my house every night, and sh. it started as like a few minutes but it’s become hours a day. i don’t really know what to do bc it keeps getting worse. i kinda just wanna chat with people who understand it and relate to it.

I'm so unsatisfied with my pathetic cuts. Im tired of having to hold back in order to keep it a secret. Its really not enough. It was enough at first, but of course I crave more damage, more cuts, more severe scars. I dont want to hold back anymore. But I dont want to deal with the consequences of getting caught either. Im completely at my emotional capacity. I cant process any more stress or emotional pain. Im constantly thinking about hurting myself how I really want to. And getting closer. I can picture exactly what I want to do. I want to hurt, i want to make nice neat rows, i want them to be deep, i want to feel the sting under my clothes while i go about my life. I know it would satisfy me to go all out. I want it so badly. I worry that once im alone tonight, I'll do some damage that my partner will clearly notice. Even though he's oblivious to everything. I feel so alone. Like I'll never crawl out of this hole. I only dig myself deeper.

I’m 25F and I did it a couple of weeks ago for the first time. I am in my lows of my bipolar disorder and I’ve been depressed. I’m ashamed,embarrassed and disgusted with myself. I did tell my therapist. I have been wearing long sleeves as I’m so embarrassed but I’m glad I told my therapist. I feel so ashamed and guilty.

Hi I've never had this happen before and wanted to ask if anyone else has had this.

I've cut for a while on and off. Last night I did it again. I made several cuts on the front of my upper thigh It bled a bit but I didn't go especially deep. I'm talking a couple of trickles of blood as long as a finger, not heaps of blood loss. But I woke up in the night several hours later and felt really nauseated and light headed to the point my vision started to go fuzzy and narrowed (sometimes I've had this happen when doing a blood test but obviously didn't lose nearly they much and that's usually when I've fasted). Lay down, had some water, checked my temperature which was okay even though I felt hot and sweaty then went back to bed. The rest of the night I slept fine, better than usual honestly.

This morning I woke up feeling fine and since then I've eaten and drunk water but started feeling nauseated and light headed again. It's about 12-13 hours later The pain isn't too bad though I can feel it every now and then. It feels like it's related but I'm not sure why as I've never had this happen before. Heart rate and temperature are still fine. Am I just projecting? Maybe something else is going on and I'm just free associating I really don't know. Thank you.

it's weird. its like I feel like im not addicted and I can stop whenever I want. but yet I still find myself doing it in the middle of the night when i'm in tears and feel helpless. im sure i'd never want to kill myself but I don't know when the line stops. every time i get deeper I feel more satisfied if that makes sense. It makes me feel more validated the more I bleed. Yet I don't want ANYONE seeing these wounds because it's hella embarrassing. I guess I do it as a sense of control and a punishment to myself. because damn my life is no where close to where I wanted it to be. and yet, I believe that I don't want to die. so why do i hurt myself???

I don’t know if there is anyone else here who can relate. I started about 4 years ago when i started cutting and each time i think it’s going to be the last one but it never is. And i never seek real support because of that. Also i don’t really do it because i want to harm myself, i just don’t know how to cope with anger/frustration. I went through a period in which i wasn’t cutting but i would hit my chest very hard in these moments because they were frequent and, truly, i didn’t know how to cope.

I am afraid that seeking support means something is going to happen to me.

I am feeling so angry right now. I tried to download a rage room game to calm myself down but it does not work. I’m trying SO HARD. I’m going to get a piece of chocolate and put on some youtube but my brain is literally begging me.

Hi people I work as a swimming instructor on Sundays so I have to go into the pool.

What's the best way to treat (and maybe cover) cuts for the pool?

It's Tuesday night where I am now and I work on Sunday the whole day so maybe about 4 days and something till then.

The cuts are fresh and quite light, all on the back of my left arm so fairly visible.

Thanks for the help!