I hosted my daughter's preschool classmates for a fall play date at our home. We did pumpkin painting. I provided all the art supplies and everyone had to bring their own pumpkins. I also provided food and drinks (chicken fil a minis, fruit, crackers, cheese, egg bites, coffee, and juice) A few other moms brought dessert as well. I also rented a bounce house for the kids. I was expecting 15 kids and I knew a bounce house would fit them all. The kids had so much fun. But towards the end... one mom said this was more than what she was expecting and gave me $20. I still have mixed feelings about this. I understand she was trying to be considerate but I wasn't expecting anything in return. I love to host and I have the privilege to host as well. It's not like she has less than. We both live in the same upscale suburb.

It's wild because I've heard of other moms asking for money for play dates. And I'm over here doing the most and just want everyone to have a good time.

How would you have handled this?

EDIT: I didn't realize the term play date/party mattered. My invitation stated party. I wrote play date on here. I guess as a mom I am extra. What I do for other people isn't my expectation back. If you want to have a party, play date, gathering, or event... just do it! I love this group of moms and kids I hosted so I didn't give it a second thought.

Anyone else not like bringing their kids to their family’s houses because they aren’t childproofed and they know they will be the only one chasing their kids around the entire time they are there?

What’s worse is when said family says, “you have your hands full” or “mom you’re no fun” as you’re trying to prevent your child(ren) from breaking things in their home and/or hurting themselves.

Kids are under 3 for reference.

I had two kids at 34 and 36 (1st spontaneous, 2nd IUI), then went through years of IVF and ultimately had a third child using an egg donor at 41. I was completely happy with three kids.

My husband and I were not as careful as we should have been thinking there was no way I could get pregnant spontaneously. Well, I tested positive today at almost 43-years-old. I honestly think it won't be viable. My eggs were already poor quality three years ago. I don't even necessarily want another child. I'm just looking for perspectives.

I get the cuteness and the snuggles but I feel so damn guilty at the end of the night when bed time routine was rough or I was waiting for nap time all day.

1. Am I going to regret or feel guilty for feeling like I’m in survival mode most days?
   
2. Any advice for a mom with kids under 5 🥺

Mine just washed the dishes and wiped the counters without being asked after having a huge blowout fight. Makes me think I should pick a fight just to get the house cleaned now and then!

In a conversation with my husband he mentioned that he would really love for me to look into developing a hobby. He has many, he likes to golf and game and build things and I don’t share a love for any of those (lol) but I can’t keep doomscrolling for the rest of my life and I too would love to have a nice hobby to unwind to or do in my spare time. The downside is, I am a very artsy girl. It’s a downside for me because anything related does the opposite of relax me. Painting, crafting, sewing, pottery all sounds nice in theory but the moment I start I become very particular and often end up stressed out about it not being perfect etc. I also really enjoy writing and have put writing my novel on the back burner but I’m not ready to write yet because, again, it’s not relaxing for me. It feels like a thing I’m doing to get an outcome/result out of. I have a newborn and a 4 year old so leaving the house isn’t in my cards right now but I’m curious to know if anyone has low stim hobbies they could recommend.

Husband announced after 20 years of marriage that we are to be separated and his dating other women.
He said, he does not care what I think or feel.
We were on the outs for a while, I stopped doing wifey duties as he refused to spend time with me, children or doing household duties. He just spent time on work, gym, hobbies daily. Ignored me asking for help even though working overtime for months.
His on steroids and like a personality switch so selfish and self centred. His moving in a few weeks and I have been civil as have children at home and his accusing me of being in mood and saying we should still be friends.
Have not informed children yet and his asking eldest today if she dislikes him as she don’t talk to him.
Why would she, when his ignored her for months.
He makes me feel like I should be acting like besties and I am wrong for not.
The audacity makes me feel sick.

My niece is turning 16 soon. She just got her first car and I wanted to make her a bag she could keep in the glove box for emergencies like mints, pads, chapstick, stain remover etc. What would yall want in a bag like that? (Im sure her parents have given her things for real emergencies, just looking for things to make her life easier)

I was about to throw away the Halloween bucket my daughters happy meal came in since I don’t like accumulating junk, then I remembered reading here that some moms use designated bowls or small buckets when their kiddos get sick. So much easier than trying to race to the toilet and pray they make it.

Very vulnerable post so I’d appreciate if we could keep the snarky comments to a minimum 😆

My (40F) partner (35M) and I have been together 9 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Since she’s been born, it has been nonstop stress and traumatic events. His grandmother passed away, my father passed away, I had to close my father’s business, partner had a falling out with half of his family, we bought a house, car broke down, just literally one battle after another.

We have both been running on empty it seems, and our relationship hasn’t been a priority. We are perfectly cordial with each other, still have love and respect for one another but it’s been difficult to get our relationship back to a partnership rather than just cohabitating.

I thought moving would help, and it has in a way, but with moving comes a whole new slew of problems. It seems like every time we think we can catch a breath, something else breaks or needs immediate attention.

I’ve taken on all of the household chores for now, my partner takes care of the outside chores, and we both split the evening childcare duties. Our daughter is in daycare 5 days a week so that definitely helps. But, by the time she’s in bed, dishes are washed, tools put away, whatever it is, it’s late and we’re both exhausted (we both work full time as well). We’ve been trying to divide and conquer, but it seems like we’ve just been dividing with no conquering at all.

All that being said, I can’t even remember the last time we were intimate. We’ve been in the new place around 3 months, and it’s definitely been before then. There are days when I’m like “ok tonight’s the night” but by the time night rolls around, we both just end up falling asleep on the couch. It’s a pretty pathetic situation 🥲

Before my daughter was born, we had a very active and wonderful sex life. After I gave birth, I feel almost bashful trying to initiate or bring it up. I’m sure PPD has at least a little to do with it, but I’m past that point now. I just feel so awkward and I don’t know why!

Has anyone been through an extreme dry spell and able to bounce back? I’m not willing to throw away this life we built because we are out of groove right now. I really would love some advice on how to get out of this funk.

TLDR: relationship and sex life has hit a dry period. How do we get back on track?

The title is dramatic, but honestly I feel this way...
I don't know where to start, but I absolutely love and adore my toddler, 2.5. Things have gotten rough as she's grown and I've had to adapt and change so much, but it's really my circumstances outside of motherhood that make things so hard for me.

I'm a 26yo mom, still living at home, with currently no job or income since my benefits case closed about a month ago. I just feel literally incapable of being a mom. I literally can't take care of my own child without the help of my mom or her dad and we have such a toxic relationship...
I'm struggling to keep my head on straight and having such a hard time staying grounded.

My daughter recently started school and even with that I find it so hard to get up in the morning , get lunch ready , get us out the door. My toddler is still nursing and the mornings are tough transitioning especially because she's so used to slow mornings where we kind of just wake up and vibe.

I feel like I can't even take care of myself. I don't brush my teeth , do my hair , take showers most days. My life revolves around taking care of my daughter and im just struggling mentally. Toddlerhood brought it to a whole different level. My daughter honestly overall has an amazing temper , I feel. She doesn't throw long tantrums, she's pretty reasonable and understanding , but it's still So different from taking care of a baby, obviously. Everything is a negotiation. EVERYTHING. Getting dressed has been the hardest lately, and the fact that she still nurses just makes everything slow. She wants to nurse at the slightest upset and inconveniences anytime she's frustrated which makes it so hard for me to follow through on anything. I ALWAYS give in.

And I just want to say this is all my fault. I honestly feel heartbroken whenever she cries so I always give in. I'm a really responsive parent, so I spend so much time and energy interacting with her. But I feel like I made her "high needs" I don't feel like I can do anything with her at home. I can't clean up , do anything for myself , but getting her to school is so anxiety inducing. Not to mention she chipped her tooth and got a bloody mouth on her 3rd day. So then I just kept her home for 1.5 weeks. She's had a runny nose so I don't want to be "that parent" that sends their kid to school sick, but we haven't been consistently which I feel like has made the school and teachers less than fond of me. Then yesterday she comes home and reenacts an interaction between her and a teacher. She's VERY intentional, in tune with her feelings and expressive. During dinner she asked me to come closer and put her hands out for my face. I was hesitant at first with her salmon fingers , but I did it. She put one hand on top one hand underneath and said "im not hurting you" then she asked me to turn my head to the side and whispered gibberish into my ear. I asked questions happily so that I could asses the situation and I even threw trick questions in to make sure she was answering factually and not just being silly. She said it was a teacher but couldn't tell me which one. (Although I suspect a certain one) then she said it happened inside the classroom. I figured maybe the teacher was trying to wipe her nose, but when I asked if she was wiping her belly and feet she answered yes to those questions as well so I didn't want to rely on that answer. I asked her if she was hurt or scared and she said no. But honestly for it to have stuck with her enough to re enact it , I felt like the situation may have been emotionally charged for her.... idk

I'm losing my mind. It feels like my life is falling apart. I wanted this school thing for her so I could go back too and hopefully get a job , get in a routine and start building toward something, but now I feel like I'm back at square one...

I'm losing it. Between my own mental health struggles , toddlerhood itself, my relationship issues, home issues (slightly crowded and mice droppings found everywhere even on her table , the couch , her play kitchen , soft play, book shelf, even after bleaching I find them somewhere weird every morning) I don't know what to do. I just feel like I shouldn't have become a mom. I cant handle basic life. I can't even get it together for the both of us. I feel helpless , paralyzed , and like I just want to disappear and rot away. I know it's all my fault. I should've thought about all of this before having a child, but I was dumb and naive. I was clueless. I just don't know what to do, but I don't want my daughter to be impacted by my decisions and mistakes. She deserves the best.

We started our 2yo in daycare earlier this month and it has been a hard transition for him. He has been going to a babysitter for about six months and does great with her. She takes really good care of him. Our budget doesn't allow for us to send him to her full time. There was a transition when we started with her but not as bad as daycare. She did a really great job of settling him, distracting him , and comforting him. Now when we pick him up he doesn't want to leave. The daycare only had a spot for two days a week, so that's what we signed up for until more became available. Before all this he was staying home with me while I WFH. It was really hard and I was losing my mind.

I have two older kids who also had a hard time transitioning to daycare. They eventually got used to it and were fine after a few weeks. I know that could be the case with my toddler, but I asked the teacher how he did today and she let me know he did a little better around nap time. She also told me that most of the time they put him in the playhouse in the corner and tell him he can't come out until he stops crying. That immediately made my heart hurt for him. Is this normal? It doesn't seem like a normal thing to me. She was saying that if they don't do that he just follows them around crying for me. I understand they have other kids to take care of but it just seems cruel to make him sit in a corner crying by himself.

Just wondering how other moms spend their time with their toddler. Mine it’s 14 months old. We do chores around the house together and go to the park a few times a week, and playing with bubbles in the patio.

he also comes to the store with me but he just wants to walk and be free, so the store isn’t the best.. Any other nice/cool ideas to spend time with a toddler?

Thank you.

My daughter’s daycare places all food brought from home in the fridge. Normally I use an insulated thermos, but that doesn’t really work for certain foods. Has anyone come across a tray or bento box type lunch container that is also insulated as well as the thermos is? Thanks!

Are we doing that?

Some of my favorite childhood Christmas memories are sitting by the tree, listening to Christmas music, and watching movies with my family.

I've got three kids (7, 5, and 3), and the older two are already asking what we're doing for Christmas Eve this year. We usually watch a Christmas movie together and leave cookies out for Santa.

My kids have been really into Frozen lately, so I'm thinking about doing a blue and white theme for the tree this year, maybe with some snowflake decorations. My youngest loves just watching the lights, and I'd like to get all three involved in decorating this year.

What do your kids usually like to do on Christmas Eve? Any ideas for something all three of mine could enjoy together? Frozen ideas are welcome too!

Not much to say just venting to others moms who GET IT.

4 month old is just being a baby and wakes up 2x a night to eat. 2.5 year old is a ball of energy that needs to be expended. Problem though.

Mom has no energy to go outside or go to a park. I do try to get her running around several times a week but I feel like she needs it daily while I’m struggling to just be awake.

This also makes me terrified to have more kids. My heart wants 1 or 2 more but idk how I can handle the infant stages again with toddlers😅

Please give me positive stories about how you eventually got sleep again, and ways to help out a mom who needs to run a toddler ragged while operating on 4 hours of sleep??

my sweet 10 month old son has croup for the third time in five months the last two times we had to take him to the ER and they gave him a steroid medication. They gave us a prescription for the medication and said next time he has symptoms just give him the medication at home last night. We gave him the medication because he had the same croup symptoms before he slept a little bit and seems to be doing better but still has the barking cough and some wheezing. I wanted to stay home, but I am a teacher and today is parent teacher conference conferences. I have 22 students. That's all I was thinking about as I was holding my son. He was sleeping on my chest in bed with us and I was crying because I don't wanna go to work but I know it's such an important day but I actually get fired for not coming. No I have a contract and a union thankfully but I also have immense teacher guilt because I work with young student students with special needs and these conferences are really important. Tomorrow is another conference day. I'm seriously considering not coming in tomorrow. If my son still is sick, thankfully he is with his grandma. We do not send him to daycare. mostly I wanted to vent and ask if any other teacher moms were working. Moms in general have had a similar situation ever since I had my son. I really don't care about Work anymore, even though I got into this profession obviously for my love for helping children and working with children with disabilities and their families, but I literally just don't care anymore. I'm doing the bare minimum and I wanna leave this profession immediately. Not sure if this is just hormones or postpartum whatever or if it will get better, but I seriously cannot continue working with young children every day while having a son at home it just doesn't feel right. It's way too emotionally. Taxing any advice for jobs that don't need any emotions for someone with a masters degree and special education, and 10 years of experience lol?

Used talk to text so sorry for grammar or whatever also I am crying.

I am looking at applying to jobs but don’t want to get a job without childcare. And don’t want to secure paid childcare without actually having a job yet. My parents work full time and my husbands mom is states away. It would only be part time for me so daycare makes less sense than a nanny so I’m not paying for a whole week and not using it. I have no idea how long it takes to find a reliable and trustworthy nanny in my area?? I’m struggling, halp

I’m not looking for financial help or help finding a nanny. Just need help with the timeline and how to go about this.

Because of the different time zones and our 14-hour layover, our baby's first birthday will span around 33 hours as we travel across three countries.

Honestly, I always imagined celebrating her first birthday with a big cake and all the little things I’ve been dreaming of doing for her. 🥹 I had so many ideas planned, but due to certain constraints, we had to book our travel for that day. So we will basically be spending her bday in three airports.

I still want to make the day special for her in whatever little ways we can, even if we’re spending most of it in airports and on flights.
I’d love some simple, creative ideas for a little birthday photoshoot, decorations we could carry, or ways to make the day memorable as a family of three.

Hi everyone,
My beautiful son is almost 6 months. I returned to work at the end of September and started struggling a couple weeks in. My son has never been a good sleeper and the accumulated sleep deprivation was making it difficult to function. I was crying at work, struggling to complete tasks, and fell asleep at a stop light. After having a panic attack I reached out to my physician and was given a medical note for extended leave (2-3 weeks). I met with my supervisor and she was supportive but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m letting everyone down. I was only back at work for a few weeks before burning out. It’s hard not to compare myself to other people who seem to be “handling” work and postpartum better.

In the past week my son has finally started sleeping longer stretches at night, (from 10+ wake-ups to 2!) so I’ve started getting more sleep. Any folks who have dealt with similar feelings? I like my job and want to feel like I can work and parent.

I’m a FTM to a 7mo little boy whom I love and adore. About a month ago, I injured my back terribly. I was in so much pain for about 3 weeks that I couldn’t care for him at all, my mom had to step in to help my husband who works long hours while I was largely bedridden.

Then I had my surgery and I noticed my baby stopped calling me “mom” and didn’t want me holding or touching him. It’s now been 2 weeks since my surgery and my baby still hardly smiles or makes eye contact with me but does with others around me. If others are in the room with us, I don’t even exist to him anymore. He also seems so irritated by me, no matter how hard I try to smile at and interact with him.

It’s honestly breaking my heart and I have another 6 weeks of recovery in front of me before I can pick him up and care for him normally again. I’m concerned that our bond may have been broken and I’m at a loss as to how I can rebuild it when he screams if I try to cuddle him and ignores me if I look at/speak to him.

Title. Idk what to do anymore. This used to not happen, she would pretty much fall asleep easily at night, but now she is crying a lot and for so long even tho she's fed, changed and rocked to sleep. It only ever happens at night too. After she falls asleep (towards midnight), she pretty much sleeps until 5-7am. She doesn't have colic as far I know, so I feel discouraged. She's breastfed and gets maybe 2-3 bottles of formula maximum.

I’m really struggling with a daycare decision and would love some outside perspectives, especially from parents who have switched daycares.
My almost 2-year-old currently attends a daycare that’s literally 3 minutes from our house. She’s adjusted well, knows the other kids, is familiar with the environment, and knows some of her teachers (although there has been some staff turnover).
My concerns with her current daycare:
- The washroom setup bothers me. There are two washrooms in a common area shared by all the classes, and they’re in a location where parents picking up their kids or visitors touring the facility can see the children using them. I’m not comfortable with the lack of privacy.
- Daily reports are generally sparse, and communication hasn’t been great.
- She rarely eats the lunches I pack for her and the reports back had been abysmal until i brought it up. Sometimes they would also throw the food out so I would have no idea how much she eate
- I’ve been getting an “off” feeling lately. She’s been crankier than usual in the evenings, although she’s also been sick on and off for the past 3–4 weeks, so I can’t necessarily attribute that to daycare. But the last few mornings she’s sleeping in longer, pretends to sleep so she can miss school or begs us to not send her.

That said, I don’t have a concrete reason to believe she’s unhappy or not being cared for. Whenever we pick her up, including at random times during the day, she’s usually happily playing or seems perfectly fine.

Now the dilemma is -
We’ve just been offered a spot at another daycare (BrightPath), and I need to decide by tomorrow.
Pros of switching:
Communication seems significantly better, with more detailed daily updates.
They provide meals and snacks, which would take some pressure off me and potentially help with her eating.
We’d have the opportunity to get priority for a transfer to my desired location, which is actually our preferred daycare long-term.
Overall, I feel a little more reassured by their systems and processes.
Cons of switching:
It’s about a 10-minute drive versus our current 3-minute commute. Doesn’t sound like much, but it involves a major road, and Calgary winter weather and rush-hour traffic could make it significantly longer.
The building is a quite dated.
She’d have to adjust to a completely new environment, teachers, and kids.
I’m heading into an extremely busy period at work, so the extra commute and potential adjustment difficulties could be stressful for the whole family.
If we eventually move her to my desired location , that would mean another daycare transition.
I keep going back and forth because I don’t want to uproot her from somewhere she’s comfortable just because I have a vague uneasy feeling. But I also don’t want to ignore my instincts or settle for a daycare I’m not entirely comfortable with simply because it’s convenient.