This morning, my wife got a notification that her heart rate dropped below 50 overnight from her FitBit Versa Four. She has been postpartum for six days. She felt completely fine but out of an abundance of caution we went to the pharmacy and got a blood pressure cuff. Sure enough, her blood pressure was about 40 points higher than it normally is and was in the hypertensive range. We called her doctor (who also saved her life during an emergency c-section, but that’s a story for another day) and she told us to go straight to the hospital, they would be expecting us. Her blood pressure remained high for a couple of hours, but then dropped. We were optimistic to go home and were on track to do so. They took one more pressure before she was going to get discharged and it spiked again. Then again. Doctors orders, immediately admitted and administered magnesium sulfate (I think that’s the name of it. Please be graceful with me as this is stressful, my brain is clogged from restless nights with a newborn, and I’m obviously concerned for my fam). She has gotten some HBP medication and has been stable since. It’s going to be a long night, but all signs are pointing to a full recovery as of right now. I’m buying a Fitbit as soon as we are out of here. Whoever made this technology very well could have saved my wife’s life and kept my son from being without his mom. Idk who you are, but I owe you one, at the very least I’m going to be your next customer.

Tl;dr: wife has a Fitbit that gave her a notification that her heart rate was low postpartum. Got a high blood pressure reading and doctor got us to the hospital for preeclampsia treatment and she is on the up and up.

I'm a FTM almost 10 weeks pp and an overproducer, pumping 6-8 times a day on average. I just spent two days with the most excruciating clogged duct. My left breast had swollen to almost twice the size of my right, so painful and full that even a loose cotton t shirt grazing against my nipple made me wince. I couldn't lie on my left side, let alone nurse comfortably. My baby was getting frustrated trying to feed, and after trying sunflower lecithin, Advil, ice packs and pumping with no relief, I was seriously considering urgent care because I was worried about mastitis.

Well, this morning my husband offered to try sucking on it himself to unclog the duct. I was initially embarrassed but I was so desperate that I agreed, and within about a minute milk started flowing. I immediately felt the pressure releasing and after two pumping sessions, my breast eventually softened and returned to its normal size. I literally cried from relief!

Postpartum is a crazy time. Never thought I'd be able to say my husband has tried my breast milk, but here we are

Straggly, greasy hair. Haunted eyes. Constantly hunched over and whispering. Covered in goop (milk? Puke? Poop? Sweat? Who knows?)

Yet still obsessed with my precioussss baby.

That is all.

My daughter was born in January ‘25. So last year she had all of her first holidays. And they were all quite terrible.

Easter, my close family member had a bit of a mental episode and it threw off the whole day (they’re ok.) Halloween, my daughter and I had COVID. The only photo I have of her is in a second hand costume and she is Screaming. Thanksgiving so much ridiculous family drama went down with my siblings and we just wanted to leave. Christmas we went to my in-laws and stayed in a hotel and our girl cut her first tooth and it was all around bad.

All this say. At the end of that holiday season I felt fully defeated. I was disappointed and sad and just felt bad about it all. And 99% of it was fully out of my control, but what was in my control were my own expectations of how it would go. I really should’ve lowered my expectations.

And this year, she’s almost two and I’m already SO much more at ease and know things won’t go to plan but I’m anticipating that.

Anyhow I’ll get off my soapbox.

But, I do hope everyone’s full holiday season this year is wonderful and if it’s not it’s ok. They’re not going to remember being sick on Halloween or their aunt causing drama at Thanksgiving. They’re going to look back on the pictures on day and you can tell them the little moments of joy you found in that year’s holiday season. And they’re a part of it all and that’s what matters.

I am so upset. My baby was crying hard this morning and I checked the Nanit cam because my husband was in there with her to feed and change her and I was curious if she was eating or not. She was on the floor so he could make a bottle and then I saw him lean down and grab the front of the sleep sack to pick her up and he did it FAST. No head support. No butt support. Just picked her up by the sleep sack fabric (a thin one at that). I ran into that room and was really upset. He kept saying "the sleep sack was supporting her". Absolutely not. Not her head! She is 3 months now and gaining better head control but isn't that strong with it. I told him to imagine that happening at a daycare and seeing the video. Idk what to do. I am just shocked and upset he would do that.. He's not the abusive type or concerning in that regard but like... why would he do something so stupid? And why do I have to tell him this? He has been very lax about the baby in terms of safety/positioning.. It seems abusive to me whether he believes it or not. He said he won't do it again but I am just so sad he'd treat our baby that way.

So my baby gave me a good stretch of sleep for three days, I was shocked and thought I was seeing things each time. I managed to sleep anywhere from 6-7.5 hours straight! However, I felt really tired still, like exhausted, as if I had brain fog. I'm dragging my legs everywhere. It's very discouraging.

I'm currently 3 months postpartum for context, my hair hasn't started shedding, I don't think I have post partum depression but I don't feel completely myself yet either. I don't think I have post partum anxiety, but I do at times get down or feel anxious, it's just not constant or extreme. (Not enough to disturb my sleep or day).

Is there a reason why my sleep quality sucks? I feel almost just as exhausted as if baby woke up all night long, minus the frustration.

which companies repeat the same pattern(s) each year, so I just have to rebuy the kid sizes and not the adult?

Sharing in case this hack works for anyone else. Has been miracle for me.

Not To debate whether or not to sleep train (I was against it but when we moved her into her own room at 8.5 months it was a nightmare of being up with her at least half the night and sleeping on the floor at times…) but just to share what ended up working for us.

For background up until about 7 or 8 months I was very type B With her. We slowly started observing wake windows vs just letting her nap when tired and go to sleep closer when we went to bed. She slept in her own sleep space in our room and I was always happy to pick her up and hold her back to sleep or feed her. I didn’t mind and she loved it. The only real “routine “ was that I would play the same bedtime playlist most nights.

When we moved her to her room everything broke. I couldn’t immediately comfort her like before in the night so she would cry and wake repeatedly every 1 to 2 hours all night. Putting her down was still working as I held her to sleep but everything else was a mess. Most nights I would give up and end up holding her to sleep in her nursery. if I didn’t she would cry until she was in distress.

My husband had (of course) had friends tell him she just needed to cry. I was adamant not only that it was cruel but also that it wouldn’t work. if you have used Ferber yourself you will recognize that since I was always in the room and always holding her to sleep it was never going to work.

eventually I gave in and did 3 nights of Ferber. it was brutal and while she did eventually sleep it felt awful and there wasn’t much progress night to night.

the 4th night was the game changer. I put the playlist at the heart of the plan. I had read about “postive routine” but didn’t want to do bath, book, rocking every night from now until eternity. we do baths a couple times a week and books in the afternoon. Bedtime is wind down and snuggles and I wanted to try something that fit for us. I started by singing along with the first song while I held her, then moving her to crib and singing the second song while patting and holding / hugging her with her in the crib (never taking her out But comforting her as much as possible) and then leaving the playlist on and playing when I said “goodnight” and left the room.
the first time honestly wasn’t that much better. Lots of crying still but she did stop before the first check in on her own!

the second night she stopped crying in about 6 mins after I left.

the last two nights? It’s insane. She knows the drill now and it seems like she is embracing it vs fighting! I put her in after first song and she lays HERSELF down for second song and is asleep already when I leave.

it seems to also be translating into the middle of the night. Still some bad nights, but past two nights she has woken up, soothed herself within a min or two and gone back to bed!!!

it’s seriously amazing. Some may say it’s just that Ferber needed more time but I know my baby -it was the association with the music. When the first song comes on she KNOWs we are on our way to bed. When the next song starts and I put her down in the crib, I can see her accept its sleep time and get herself settled.

I do leave the phone in there with the playlist on for another 10 mins or so (or until Led Zep Rain Song is playing 😁) and then I get my phone back and she is OUT cold.

has anyone else done this ? Is this an obvious hack I missed because I thought “routine” had to be bath, book, rocking ?

if anyone else tries it let me know if it also works for you! 🤘

I brought our 4mo downstairs this morning to see that my husband had filled all my water bottles and placed them strategically around the living room. It made me feel so loved.

What are some small ways your partner makes your life easier?

I am a SAHM with a 10 month old so we get out of the house as often as we can. Every time that I go to one of these “mom groups” I always feel like I’m an outsider breaking into an exclusive club. The one we went to today is specifically to get new moms together so they can talk and socialize and their babies can play together. There was six other moms and the organizer of the event I was the only one that nobody talk to. It felt like everybody else had already had made all these connections and I was the new kid. I’m sad for myself but I’m also sad for my baby that he is not getting the socialization.

What the title says. As a FTM I’ve been so worried about her getting sick and we’ve had the no kissing rule since she was born. Shes almost 6 months and is going to be around family more with the holidays coming up and I was hoping to continue minimizing germ sharing like that but my baby’s started to put her hands in other people’s mouths and now I’m sure she’s going to do it to anyone holding her 😂 so what’s the point?

Anyone been in a similar position? I’m thinking we pretty much say screw it and if she gets sick, she gets sick but I’d love to hear some advice!

We have an easy baby 6m, but like most babies she is only happy playing for a bit before she gets bored. She chews on everything so what toys I can leave her with is limited. She always slept on the lowest side of charts so there isn’t much time in a day when she sleeps. She has also been waking up every two hours at night for three months now.

I honestly don’t know where to get the energy to sit with her and play and chat all day long. I am so tired. Where do people get the energy or what is it that they do when they are thriving baby caring?

In a couple of weeks, I will be leaving my 2m old overnight. No more than 24 hours, I’m sure. Am I crazy for that? I’ll be 2.5 hours away. My husband will be taking care of her. She eats breastmilk from a bottle and I have plenty stocked up already. He’s not exactly thrilled about doing it so I am feeling mom guilt. She’s a little on the fussy side but it’s gotten better. Sometimes she sleeps through the night and sometimes she doesn’t. She can be hard to settle too but she always settles. Anyway, am I crazy? She’ll be 5 days shy of 3 months old. Shouldn’t I get to have fun too? I know I’m a mom now but I’m also just a girl, an individual, a friend. I need words of support and encouragement 😭 and similar stories!!

Mamas who breastfeed, what pacifier worked for your baby? I’ve tried MAM, Avent Soothie, and NUK, but my little one refuses them all!

I’m looking for a paci that might help with soothing because every time I lay my baby down, they will wake up and want to latch onto the boob, but they’re not actually hungry. They’ll latch on and fall asleep within seconds!

My baby is 3 months old and has not been gaining enough weight for the past month. She only weights 10.4 lbs.

Today we had a follow up doctor appointment and he told us we would have to switch her to formula entirely. She was pretty much exclusively breastfed except for a bottle once in a while when we were out of the house.

She was taking the bottle well until a month ago, then we went a few weeks without giving her one. We happened to try giving her a bottle Friday and she wouldn’t take it at all, she gags when I put the bottle in her mouth and she screams and cries. Saturday my husband tried giving her one and same thing happened. Sunday my dad tried with a different bottle and same. Now today I learn that we have no choice but to switch to bottles only.

Has anyone else been through this? Does anyone have tips for how to try switching her to bottles?

I’m really sad that I can’t breastfeed anymore I haven’t stopped crying since we came back from the doctor. :(

Having an elective c-section with my 2nd in a few weeks due to having a 3b tear with my first. I’m terrified of the surgery and potential complications that come with that.

For those that have had a c-section, what’s something others don’t typically know? What is your best advice for avoiding complications (blood clots and infection (sepsis) terrify me)? What are some products to go ahead and purchase to be prepared?

Also, if you have stairs in your home, how did you manage them? Kitchen is on bottom floor and all bedrooms are on 2nd.

My daughter is 6 months old, and OH MY GOD. This shit is so fucking hard, I don’t know how anyone does this. All she does is cry and scream ALL DAY. Bath time, screams and cries. Getting dressed, screams and cries. Eating, screams and cries. Chilling, screams and cries. Going out in public, screams and cries. DOING LITERALLY FUCKING ANYTHING, screams and cries. How does literally anyone do this?!! I’m so tired, I’m so defeated, I’m so exhausted, I’m constantly angry, sad, drained, anxious. I cannot do this anymore. The pediatrician says she’s teething, but at this point, is it really supposed to be this miserable this has been the “reason” given from the pediatrician since she was 4 month, and not a single tooth has come in. We give Tylenol, Orajel, tablets, Camila drops, wet washcloths, green onion, celery, every teether ever made. Nothing ever works, I’ve taken her to the ER, they checked her ears, mouth, nose, lungs and nothing is wrong. She was always a good baby, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old, now she wakes up 4-5 times a night. She refuses a bottle often and sometimes will only eat 10oz a day. So then she wakes up hungry in the middle of the night. She refuses to nap, she’ll take 10-15 min naps twice a day, and she’ll be so exhausted but won’t sleep. We can’t even walk in the room or get into bed without her waking from the creek of the bed or the sound of footsteps. I’m so tired and I feel like such a piece of shit mom because I’m so angry and defeated that she won’t stop crying. I often just cry with her cause I don’t know what else to do. Please has anyone else gone through similar? What did you do to help. I want to help her cause I hate seeing her cry, I’m trying my hardest and I just feel like a failure. I see women with many kids and I think to myself “am I just a bad mom?” “Do I not have what it takes?”

Today was my LOs first day of daycare. My daycare doesn't have cameras in the room that I can access and instead they send updates by app. I showed up to do a drop in on my lunch break and it was terrible.

My baby was propped in a bouncer next to another bouncer baby just sitting there staring at nothing. She was screeching (not crying) like I've never heard before, looking so overwhelmed and bored and sad.

There was another baby on the floor being propped up to sit with cushion blocks all alone (she looked far too young to even be sitting).

Two other babies were crying and not being tended to.

Then if all of that wasn't overwhelming enough there was another baby <6 months asleep in a bouncer. I don't know how long they had been sleeping but they were not moved for the 5 ish min I was visiting and a sound machine had been moved next to them. I was devastated because I had asked so many questions about safe sleep beforehand and was assured that they follow the guidelines and if a baby falls asleep anywhere they will be moved to the crib as soon as they notice.

I left to go back to work and called my husband crying to go get her.

Im just so sad. I couldn't find one bad review of this place when we were researching daycares, even friends of friends said they loved it and everything about it just seemed great. The sleeping bouncer really got to me. Is that something that I should report/to who?

I'm not trying to be dramatic but as a FTM with gnarly PPA I feel traumatized, I really don't think I can do daycare anymore

I am sorry if this gets asked a lot, but I am curious how only children felt growing up. Were you lonely? Did you wish you had siblings? I ask because my husband and I would like to adopt our next child, but it's expensive. In the event we can't afford it, I don't know if I am willing to go through another pregnancy.

how important is crawling? my baby pulled to stand and cruised from like 9-11 months. he started to hitch crawl from 11-13.5 months & then moved on to walking. he walks perfectly normal & has always been super steady. will this affect his development, like reading and stuff? is that true?

i tried sooo hard to get him to crawl normally. he’s 17 months now

My cousin is getting married mid-November in Cleveland. I’m really torn on bringing our 4 month old daughter there from nyc - we’re flying. initially was going to bring her but pediatrician said she wouldn’t recommend bc of measles in Ohio - but it’s really not in Cleveland proper. So then the plan was to leave baby with my in-laws (they would stay at our place) which I don’t love just because she’s so little. I am back to thinking maybe we will bring her to Cleveland (would love for her to meet some of that side of the family) but really struggling to decide if it’s too risky. she can’t get MMR vaccine until six months. meanwhile it feels like everyone I know is bringing their baby on planes and taking the risk, so am I being overly cautious?
Edit: to be clear, I’m very close to my cousin and definitely going! Question is should I bring our baby girl and already appreciate the advice folks are sharing!

Basically the title. I have an 8 month old boy, and generally we have been feeding him puréed/mashed food about twice a day (1-2tablespoons each time). For example, lunch may be mashed butternut squash and dinner may include some infant cereal. This seems like a low amount already compared to what others are feeding (shared online), yet he seems to be too full to drink much milk after. He may take at most 2oz after. He’s not getting enough milk it seems based on the recommended 24oz minimum a day for his age.

any thoughts on whether we are feeding him enough purées/mashed foods and why he might not drink milk after?

It’s so strange, it’s like I crashed as soon as my baby started consistently sleeping through the night about a month ago. I should be feeling better but it’s like the adrenaline and everything wore off and I’ve been starting to feel easily overstimulated, feelings of extreme distress and just wanting to break down every time she gets into a crying fit. Like right now she wouldn’t go down for her nap and kept crying and crying and I wanted to cry while trying to comfort her. This age just feels really difficult with the separation anxiety, starting to see some tantrums, big feelings, everything’s a battle. It’s becoming difficult to cope.

I had really bad anxiety and panic attacks the first month or so PP, and got it under control with a great postpartum therapist. I thought I was cruising along until recently. Last week I finally got a prescription for Zoloft from my doctor but I’m just so terrified to take it because I’ve never been on an SSRI before. I feel scared to admit that I might need it. I’ve always been someone who’s prided herself on healthy habits - strength training, taking supplements, healthy eating, getting outdoors. I’m still doing all those things but it’s just…not helping. I got my bloodwork done and my iron is low so I’m taking supplements for that but everything else is fine.

I’d love some words of comfort and positive experiences with taking an SSRI later in postpartum.