The babies are 5.5 months old (4.5 adjusted) and my oldest is 4. The oldest has always been a handful, but since adding in our twins, the constantly being outnumbered, the demand, the attention, the stimulation, the nonstop crying/fussing/whining from all 3 (literally someone is usually upset), the overwhelming anxiety, etc.

I snapped today over a string cheese. I had the day from hell taking care of one twin that’s had an ear infection. I had to take off work the last 2 days (dad doesn’t have any to take), and I’ve been getting bombarded with emails from work, so I’ve got that on my mind. My sick twin would not let me out of his sight today. Then, it was just one thing after another. A blowout. I forgot the carseat, and I was out of time to leave to pick up my oldest from school, so he rode illegally in the car with a seatbelt (we only live 8 minutes away), and I literally went in my nightgown. Then, I had to go back to the house to change, put in the car seat, and feed my sick twin who had refused to eat big bottles all day because he finally decided he was hungry, all before we could all load up again and go get my girl twin at daycare. Then, come home, and more work and screaming and crying.

So, when my son interrupted me headed to the garage to put his carseat in, asking if I could open his string cheese (he’s fully capable), I literally just screamed and grabbed my head before I could catch myself. Not at him, in response to yet another demand on my burnt-out person. I feel terrible. This is not who I am. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of raising my voice and not being able to handle the fussing and crying and whining. It grates on my nerves and causes anxiety like no other. My husband feels the same way. We are struggling. All 3 of them cannot be happy for long. Someone is always fussing.

I take Lexapro 20mg, and I have for years. I’ve tried other anxiety/depression meds with no luck (Prozac and Wellbutrin). At this point, I’m wondering if I should speak up about the rage this anxiety and stress gives me. I just feel hopeless - like who am I? I am not the kind of person who tells their kid if they don’t stop what I’ve asked him to stop doing with his toy for the 5th time now, I will stomp his toy to pieces. That is not me, and yet, those words came out of my mouth.

I don’t know how we keep going. It is misery. I don’t like the rage, the frustration, the exhaustion. I didn’t ask for this. I don’t know why this is what I was given, if I can’t even do it without morphing into a person I can’t even stand to look at.

Just had to share with someone. This has never happened. One of the fastest showers of my life, to be fair. But a shower ALONE nonetheless. Also somehow had the time and energy to clean our whole room yesterday, I’ve never felt so put together

How much are y’all paying to hold your kids’ spots in daycare? We are due with twins this coming March/April and want to start them in daycare of January 2028 (we did a similar timeline with our toddler but she was born in May). Our daycare just informed us that they are raising their guaranteed placement fee from $25/week to $100/week PER CHILD. So we have to pay $200 per week starting Jan 2027 just to hold their spots. On top of that, they told us that since we are “voluntarily delaying” their start date (daycare’s next available spots are September 2027 and November 2027 – unclear whether they want us to start one twin in Sept and the other in Nov) we will have to start paying full tuition when their respective start date begins to continue to “hold” the spots.

50% of the placement fee is credited towards tuition, but seriously, this feels like extortion.

My husband and I are extremely lucky to both have amazing maternity and paternity leaves, plus grandparents on both sides to help out, so we want to take advantage of that and keep them out of daycare as long as possible. It feels like we’re being punished for our timeline not perfectly aligning with daycare’s. Is this normal?

Considering.

My twin a was just referred for a helmet. I’m devastated. I knew at 4 months he had a flat spot on his favoring side. Pediatrician downplayed my concerns saying it’s not bad and he will grow hair. I hate myself for not pushing more. I knew he needed PT, he wasn’t moving around as much as my twin b. Anytime I said this, I was dismissed as babies have their own timing. Just because b is progressing more doesn’t mean a wont do the same.

He is now 6 months and it’s not resolved, obviously. I purposely made an appointment with a different pediatrician at this practice. I push the other pediatrician about it, voicing my concerns for his head shape and my son not touching his toes. His body is tight. Finally get a referral for him. Pt immediately says he needs a helmet. Get the evaluation and sure as shit he needs a helmet.

I’m embarrassed admittedly. The judgement that is passed on kids with helmets feels overwhelming right now. I have a lot of insecurity as a mother, my twins are my first kids. I already feel like I’m failing daily with the amount of pressure it’s been since they were born. I feel like I have to hide away in the house until this is all over. What a shitty thing to even think, I know.

I’m pissed at myself for not pushing at the four month appointment. I feel like a failure for allowing this to happen to my son. I stressed myself daily repositioning him, picking him up, timing tummy time, and it wasn’t enough. I failed him as a mother and he’s only been alive 6 months.

Hey so my girls turn 4 next week. And since they got to maybe 3.5 3.8 yo its just been constant boundary pushing. Sometimes talking to them in like talking to a wall. They do not register anything , boundaries we've had forever are still an issue ( like no jumping on the big couch or no rough housing )

They could watch you dead in the eye or go hide and do the thing we just told them not to do. Every evening at least one of them end up in time out or we have to separate them and ask them to play alone. Because when they play together they play rough and one of them ends up hurting the other.

We dont have screen time during the week. Only 1 movie friday night and then maybe a movie saturday / sunday depending on our activities. But its getting rough

Lately I've been doing crafts with them and its pretty cool althoug its just a matter of time before I have a hard day at work and have no energy do entertain them and they have to play " alone "

I'd like to hear people's experiences in going through divorce with twins (or other multiples) while they are young. Looking for non-extreme examples so not indefinitely or abuse, but more from incompatibility.

- How old were your twins?

- What was your co-parenting arrangement?

- What was the hardest part?

- What made it easier or were your lessons learned?

- How did your twins adjust?

TIA!

I work at a non-profit fair and rodeo where being an "over-achiever" is the baseline standard. When I returned from maternity leave, I asked for a little flexibility for having 3mo twins. I was met with the old, "I didn't get any Showtime accommodation when my singleton was 6mo old and it was Showtime" and the gut piercing, "I will review your proposal but I better not hear people are looking for you and you are home with the babies". This is from my late 40's female, mom of two teenage boys, Chief. I had an opportunity to switch jobs. I knew my boss would be less than stellar but the pay was more and my Showtime responsibilities were/are less. So, I took it. I knew it wouldn't be a great switch but something I needed to bear through while the twins were young.

Here I am 10, almost 11mo later, and I am ready to leave the industry and the only job(employer) I ever wanted. I've been at my place of employment for 10yrs. A seasonal employee before that, a volunteer, and a youth exhibitors before that. This place is a part of my past, my present, and what I thought was my future.

I am finding that as a first-time, new mom to 13mo old twins, I don't have an over-achieveing bone left. I want to do and work well. But that hustle, that drive to make the job my all is not there anymore. My priority is my twins.

If I am going to be treated as I was, and am, I will no longer kill myself for a job nor sacrifice my time with my twins for people who dont value me.

Maybe you're reading this and thinking how naive I must be or been. Or maybe I'm weak. Or maybe I'm just not strong enough to be a working mom. Maybe you're right, maybe you're not. All I know is that my twins are their age only once, and I dont want to spend all my time at work - missing dinner nightly, 30-days straight in a hotel away from my family, trips in the off season, night-time meetings, and weekend fundraisers.

Maybe being a working mom isnt for me. But the sad truth is, we need the money and insurance coverage.

Rant over. Sorry for being whiney. Yes, I am looking for employment elsewhere. So this isn't 100% complaining without action.

Did anyone change their mind on the amount of children they wanted after twins? Specifically, did you want more and then only have your twins? Our twin girls are our first children and before them my husband and I were in between have 3-4 kids. We are now reconsidering just keeping it to them. This isn’t because they’ve been hard, in fact we think it’s been far easier than expected, more that it might be nice to keep our family unit tight. I should note because it’s a common factor, finances aren’t a deciding factor for our family. Anyone experience anything similar? If so, what were your influencing factors? Did you end up having more?

There are 1000 variations of this same question (and answers) out there but I feel our position in this group is slightly different so I’m keen to hear thoughts.

Created this account just to post this really as I’m mortified at the possibility of having another set of triplets or more.

My triplets are three years old but they were born as quadruplets. We sadly lost their brother due to a complication during pregnancy and then birth and he’ll be forever four months old.

I just found out I’m pregnant again despite my husband having had a vasectomy and I’m terrified. I must be 10 weeks along already as this is really the only option given our dates when we had intercourse.

Please reassure me that this could be a singleton. I cannot go from three kiddos to seven.

I’m in third trimester with twins as a FTM. I want to EBF these babies but I can’t figure out if I will nurse or pump/bottle feed them. Perhaps this is something I can’t plan for until the babies arrive but then how do I prepare? Do i buy a twin nursing pillow? Do I buy a breast pump and lots of bottles and a bottle washer? Do people buy all the things and see what gets used? I feel nursing must be so much cheaper since pumping needs so much equipment (bottle, pump, pump parts) but nursing sounds so exhausting. Can others share how they prepared before babies came?

I am usually an attachment oriented parent and try hard to speak to my girls in age appropriate and respectful language. Lately, I feel like I have no patience and have resorted to saying things like if you dont stop, I am going to throw xyz away or telling them to just stop screaming. I feel sick typing that out. I think it’s a combo of being a solo parent, having a high stress job and having high energy toddlers.

Any words of wisdom? I feel Ike a monster and really care deeply about my kids and want to be more patient. Especially around bed time and train rides.

Hi! I just found out I am pregnant with twins and am in shock. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. This pregnancy was a bit of a surprise but my husband and I had been on the fence about going from 2-3 and thought it was just decided for us!

Well I just had my first ultrasound and extra surprise, there are two in there! I am in SHOCK. Has this happened to anyone else? Of course I know all twins are a surprise but going from 2 to 4 seems extra jarring. Can someone share some encouraging words?? I know this is a blessing but right now I’m terrified!

This is funny in hindsight (not so funny in the moment), and I thought you all might get a kick out of it.

To set the stage, we have a 2.5 yr old singleton boy and 2 month adjusted twin boys.

My husband has adult-onset Type 1 Diabetes (technically Type 1.5, aka Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults or LADA, but semantics); he has a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) connected to an app. I have the accompaniment app, so I get notified when his blood sugar goes too high or low. Honestly, his CGM is probably why the monitors didn’t bother me so much in the NICU; I’m used to hearing monitors go off constantly anyway…

Last Sunday, we went to a pumpkin patch with all the kids and my parents. We had promised our toddler we’d get him a green pumpkin from a pumpkin patch, which we successfully procured (he actually got two green pumpkins! 🥳) Afterwards, we all went out to lunch together at a really awesome Mexican restaurant near the patch.

My husband has never really drank much, but he especially doesn’t after his diagnosis about a years and a half ago. Alcohol can do unpredictable things to a diabetic’s blood sugar, so he’s really cautious about it.

He opted to have one margarita with lunch. He claims that the restaurant was heavy handed with the tequila; I contend his alcohol tolerance has gone down a lot after his diagnosis since he rarely drinks now (last time was before the twins were born about four months ago). Either way, he immediately got tipsy. So, he started eating more food to help sober up.

If you know anything about Mexican food, it is quite carbohydrate heavy, so subsequently, his blood sugar went through the roof to 300, and he left the restaurant to do laps around the building to bring it down (after having to inject himself with more insulin).

While he’s outside of the restaurant, Twin B has a reflux episode, my dad rescues him, and he’s screaming his head off. I end up very awkwardly trying to breastfeed Twin B to calm him down, which fortunately works.

Twin A then decides it’s his time to shine, and then he too starts screaming his butt off, so I breastfeed him too, with unfortunately less success.

We manage to calm Twin A with formula, and we top off Twin B too (I’m an undersupplier, so the breastfeeding wouldn’t be sufficient, generally speaking).

Meanwhile, we’re all doing the best we can to corral the toddler, who is getting super restless and also decided that high chairs/boosters are the devil and refuses to eat unless he’s on a regular chair.

My husband returns, and we corral all the kids into the car, having to change each one of them (toddler still in diapers) and install the toddler car seat along the way (toddler was staying with my parents before we went to the patch).

Then, we drove home with the toddler screaming his head off most of the way home (overtired and angry at being confined), my husband’s low blood sugar alarm went off (we took desserts to go, because they’re tasty but also anticipating this outcome, so that was fortunately quickly corrected), and the babies slept like baby angels.

Then the twins decided to witching hour at home for a few hours while we tried to wrangle the overtired toddler down to bed.

Does anyone else here face this policy? They changed the contract on us for this year. Since the three we have in day care alternate getting sick, I keep having to pay for day care for healthy kids that they are just refusing to watch when one of the three either never gets sick or is better a day or two before the other two. Very frustrated, but is this normal elsewhere?

Hello ! Is there anyone that managed to make their babies sleep through the night or at least most of the night and if so how? Is there a specific method ? My newborn twins are two months old and up until now i just go with the flow, they decide the schedule and it's quite chaotic, each night is different but at night they have short naps and cluster feed for hours (it's been weeks) and during the day they have a long stretch of sleep, timing changes a lot, they definitely don't tell day and night even though i try to let sunlight in I give up some days because of sleep deprivation i had some days where i took my breakfast at 5pm. I feel like I should be the one "forcing" the schedule but I don't know how I'm a first-time mom and can't wake them up or force them to eat so what's the solution, do I have to make them somehow or do I have to wait for them to naturally have a schedule? Thank you!

Would love to hear what other multiples are going as this Halloween!

I am expecting identical twins and doctors predict they will be born around 35-36 weeks.
I already bought a set of bottles, but unsure about the teat - some sources say to choose the extra slow flow (1/5), while others claim to choose slow or medium (2/5 or 3/5) as newborns get too tired to eat from the extra slow teats.
Can you please share your experience/ advice?

The team: 2.5-year-old boy and 9-month-old twin boys

Adults on board: We will have at least one family member helping us on every leg except one 15-hour flight with just my wife and I. That one will be rough.

Airline: Japan Airlines, 4 flights, one connection each way.

Number of seats for our family of five: 3 guaranteed, we may get lucky with additional space.

Bassinets: We have reserved two bassinets on every flight, except there was only one available on the flight where my wife and I will be alone (of course).

Why are we doing this to ourselves? My wife is from another country and we have committed to visiting from time to time. We're also fortunate to have help for most of the trip.

Past experience: We did this exact flight 2 years ago on Japan Airlines when our older son was the same age as the twins. We also visited Japan with him for 5 days en route. It went well. Japan Airlines staff is absurdly professional and accommodating.

What we need: The best possible products to make this minimally painful. Things to entertain our older son other than a phone. Something that converts a plane seat into a small bed for him. Something that allows us to comfortably hold the twins hands-free. Anything that makes traveling with such young kids just a tiny bit easier.

Also helpful: Travel hacks that could increase our comfort/help us save money along the way. We're taking full advantage of the twins getting free plane tickets. We may be able to sweet-talk our way into business class, especially on that one hell flight. Maybe we have some memberships that could get us travel perks that we're overlooking?

Any and all advice appreciated. Thank you in advance!

Kinda at a lot our twins K1 and K2 are 20months they were delayed with a lot of milestones such as crawling pointing and walking etc they just started walking at 19ish months. K2 the smaller and “younger” twin has been the first to do everything. K1 has always showed little to no interest. We are at a point where K1 loves to be with older brother (4yr) and play and interact with us such as pretending to eat toy food making audible sounds to mimic Eating and other fun things… K1 has never showed much interest in playing with us and tends to just play by himself and gets upset when we try to get involved. We have a little bridge for them to climb on and a slide they can use. K2 loves to play with it and weave in and out of it while being chased. K1 just stands at the top and doesn’t want to be bothered as much as we try to get him to Play with us he just throws a fit and refuses. Any advice would prove very Useful as we are kind of at a loss with getting engagement out of him.

ALSO: K2 talks a lot more like saying hi bye help here and other small words. K1 will make growls and noises and occasionally says Dadda and Momma but it’s very rare we know he can he’s just chooses not too.

Looking for advice on bedroom arrangements. We have a 3-year-old boy and 1-year-old boy/girl twins. We’re considering moving the boys into a room together and giving our daughter her own room when they’re around 4 & 2ish (maybe closer to 5 & 3).

We have enough space for all three to have their own rooms, but would prefer to keep our guest room for now.

For those who’ve been in a similar situation, what worked best for your family? Did you keep your twins together or have siblings share instead? Would love to hear your experiences, especially long-term!

My boys are 25 months & one of them is going through a chewing phase. He uses pacifiers to sleep & chews on them & bottle nipples until they are falling apart & dangerous. Are there brands that can hold up longer to a chewy baby? We currently go through a lot of Dr Brown nipples & pacis.

& before I get the comments about still using bottles…I KNOW. They need to move to sippy cups & we are TRYING.

I’m 32 weeks today, I have gestational diabetes that’s controlled with insulin and meds. At our growth scan twin a is measuring 4lbs and 2 oz and twin b is 3lbs and 10 oz. They are di/di twins. So far they look healthy and okay. I went to the Monday and let me know if the growth restriction for twin b. I know there’s nothing I can do about it. I was told it was common in twins. I’m trying to prepare mentally for what about to happen but I’m not too sure what is going to happen. If moms could let me know their experiences and how the growth restricted twin turned out? Im trying not to stress and worry. Im now scheduled for weekly scans to check cord flow/ breathing.