Finally met after 8 months of video calls.

Definitely worth the wait

It’s my birthday. I told him I was free all day until dinner time. I asked for a couple hours of his time to be with me, play a game together or hang out, and he disappears and messages back hours later “I fell asleep” “sowwy” like what???? And when I tell him im upset and sad that we didn’t get to spend time together, I said this is like the one day a year where it’s really shitty to fall asleep when you should be with your partner, he says “Ok next time I’ll peel my fucking eyes open” and hasn’t comforted me or felt nice to me at all. I’ve spent the day crying and trying to be happy around my family but this feels so horrible

Editing to add: I’ve read all your comments and they mean so much to me and I truly thank you. There is definitely going to be a conversation about this.

Met her last year during a trip. I have to go back to France and now I definitely move in Malaysia so we can stay together! 6 months feels sooo long. The distance is so hard and so many challenges. I was so afraid that we would lose this spark that I ended up coding a little shared voice alarm app just so we could wake each other up

Keep your hopes up, guys!

my boyfriend (M29) and I (F28) have been doing long distance for over 3 years. almost a year and a half in different continents, and 2 years in the same country but different cities. we finally both have jobs in the same city, in a third country for both of us, and just moved in together. here’s our first night together meal :)
i’m over the moon! it still feels unreal🥹 so here’s some happy story that it’s possible to survive long distance, and it’s possible to make it happen even in a country where neither is native. moments like this are worth every part of the struggle ❤️

I 26f have been dating (long distance) my 29m bf for 3.5 years now. We live in different continents but have met 4 times before. Lately since 4 months he has been extremely depressed to the point he ghosts me for days or weeks and a month. It's a very weird situation because we are basically engaged.
We were planning to marry in Denmark last year for legal and visa related reason but I was refused to enter his country. I am form a 3rd world country and my passport is very weak...
We planned to apply for another visa but for that I need some documents from him. We had planned what we were going to handle this.
Everything was going ok but suddenly his depression hit all time high(he had always been a depressed person but never ghosted me. Infact he would get terrified if I didn't text him back within a day).
He sends me money even when he is ghosting me and last time we talk I asked him if he still loves me and wants a family with me to which he said yes but that he needs time.
The thing is, this is all taking a toll on my health, I have lost multiple kgs and my my hair is falling like never before because of stress. My parents know something is wrong but they can't tell and I can't tell them because they won't approve of this relationship and probably take away all my freedom if they knew.
We had planned our lives together and we love each other, this happened so suddenly. Idk what to do.
I hate that I have a weak passport and I hate that I am poor.
Depression sucks

I finally had the courage to remove my situationship of 7 months off my friend list after 20 days of no contact…
It’s a wired feeling even tho he made me feel so confused at the end and i was like “I’m better off alone” but now that i ended it i kinda miss the honeymoon phase 🥲
but if we were meant to be together it would’ve happen no matter what and I don’t want my days to pass by waiting for his message and him trying to actually do something other than apologizing over and over again every time.

I am F24 and I am finally meeting my boyfriend after many months because he was away for business and I am so happy but I keep on seeing these couple videos once in a while where women post stuff like "A day before meeting my boyfriend, wish me luck" and she shows a whole bunch of skincare, body care and even shows body waxing appointments, get their nails done, you get the whole idea.

Do all of you do this?

I am conflicted because on one hand my man has seen me in my absolute disgusting self and still loves me but also other part of me sees this as a good excuse to pamper myself and plus point is something little extra treat for him because even my man does the same.

Before meeting me he also does the whole nine yards of skincare, nail care everything you name it.

The thing is that him and I both do self care before meeting each other but his routine is more intense than mine, he says he wants to look best for me, which is cute but makes me think should I up my self-care game as well?

Do men also do this or is this more of just women doing this stuff? When I talked to my friends irl about how my man also does the same they were shocked and said "My man doesn't even wash his face, you are so lucky!"

Is over the top self care necessary to keep the spark in long distance relationship alive?

its been 2 days since i left my baby at the airport and oh my god i feel so miserable 😞.we cried together before i had to go and it was such a painful experience

i cried the while time at the airport and seeing the flight taking off and seeing the city that my baby is in being further away js breaks my heart.how do you guys navigate this?

...distance is honestly the hardest part of loving someone deeply. Every single day, I wish I could wrap my arms around you after a long day, kiss your forehead without needing a screen between us, hold your hand while we walk with no destination, and just stare into your eyes while forgetting about the rest of the world.

I miss hearing your real laugh in person instead of through a phone speaker, and I miss seeing your smile right in front of me instead of through photos and videos. There are nights when I wish I could simply sit next to you in silence, because even silence feels peaceful when it's shared with the person you love.

No matter how many miles separate us, my heart still chooses you every single time. You are the place where I feel safe, understood, loved, and complete. Even from far away, you still feel like home to me. And no matter how difficult this distance becomes, my love for you only grows stronger because loving you is the most real feeling I have ever known.

I have been with my LDP for nearly 2 years now, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me and tick every box I ever had. However, we live 4.5 hours away from each other and both have young children.

Initially, she was going to move to me, as she prefers the area but her child’s other parent said that they wouldn’t be willing to move or have the child move without them and so that put pay to that idea.

So the only way the gap could now close is if I move, this initially didn’t look possible due to my child’s other parent being very involved in their life and not being able to take them away from that however, in the last 3 months, my child’s other parent has had a change of heart and has agreed to move to my LDPs location with us. Which will allow us to close the gap, which is amazing news.

The issue I keep getting stuck on, is taking my child away from their very involved grandparents, they are going to be devastated, and the relationship will be different between them all and honestly I feel so guilty about it. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being so selfish, but at the same time, this is an opportunity to have the life I’ve always wanted and my partner is amazing with my child and he loves them so much.

At the moment, I see my LDP probably 3 weekends a month, we do the drive often, so I know I can keep up regular visits to grandparents, but it won’t be the same as it is right now.

The prospects work wise and school wise are better where my partner lives, and the house we can afford is larger. I just keep coming back to the guilt.

HELP - would you make the move?

TLDR : when I want to break up with my gf her passed away is this a good time or not?

For context I(25M) is talking to a girl(21F) for more than a year and we officially became bf and gf after few months of talking. But ever since after that I'm having difficulties cuz we are in different countries and time zones are different that made our communication difficult and she responds me whenever she wants but expects me in a seconds even tho I'm in uni and studying. Cherry on top she talks with a guy-friend which I hate absolutely ( he proposed to her even tho he knows that she is already in relationship ). Not only this there are some incidents happened which lead me to the decision of break-up with her but when it's time to break-up with her father passed away 4 days ago. I wonder is this the good time to break up with her or not? I don't know what to do cuz I'm position where I can't leave her in a position like or stay in this relationship.

I'm a 22 yo man from California. She's a 19 year old woman from Austria.

8 months.

And I know, it isn't long as some others here. But it was my first real relationship, my first relationship as an adult, and the first time I can confidently say I have deeply loved someone and felt at home.

We had a talk about 2 weeks ago concerning the sustainability of the relationship. She's 19, but still lives with her parents, which AFAIK is fairly common in Europe. But, her mother and oldest brother aren't exactly good people, and neither of her parents really believe in mental health issues. If she even dares oversleep or spend a day off to decompress, her mom gets mad at her.

So, our relationship was already somewhat strained by external factors beyond just us. I had hope it would work out, since she spoke about heading off to university and getting a dorm.

This would not materialize, pushing her plans for schooling out to next year. This also made the distance more unbearable since she desperately wanted someone to turn to, but couldn't.

We met in person back at the end of July, up to the middle of August. It was a 15 day stay if you count arrival and departure dates.

And maybe I'm too young to be saying this, but so far, those days were among some of the happiest in my life. In general the months we were together were some of the happiest.

When she was telling me about her decision to end things yesterday night, she told me that she was grateful to have met me, and that she agrees that those experiences and memories we shared were things that made her immensely happy.

She still thinks we are "soulmates" in the sense of how compatible we are as people. It was mostly her desire to focus on herself and put herself as priority that pushed her to make the decision she did, in addition to the conditions in which our relationship took place. And she wishes to stay in contact as friends if possible. I am fully intending to give it time for both of us to heal before we give being friends a shot. I still enjoy her company and her as a person, and we both agree that we don't want to lose each other.

There is still a chance, years down the line, that we could reconnect. But she doesn't want long distance. How I'd manage that isn't something I know of yet. Unless any of you have ideas. It isn't a guarantee though, and I plan to best focus on myself in the coming years.

Maybe it's just because she was my first love. But I believe that it was a case of meeting the right person at the wrong time. And part of me wonders if I'd meet someone else who is right for me, even when the circumstances are ideal.

She's smart, even if she doesn't see it. She's a big dreamer, and is true to her heart. And she's really funny.

I just want to share this with someone. Breakups are hard. And ever since she made her decision official, I have felt this near constant pit in my stomach.

And yet, I still believe that for a moment, I was home.

Yes we have an age gap but most days don’t feel it. I’m not here to exactly discuss age, but moreso the distance aspect maybe or general relationship. We love each other deeply and naturally click and all that. We have the same values and religion and home country, yet are both progressive free thinkers.

We’re both bonded in that way where you feel you’re both on another plane and the rest of the world is kinda somewhere below. Like a creative or cerebral bond? Anyway, point is we gel. As enriching as our relationship is, we’re both not rich and are struggling to find a way to actually come together.

I went through a simultaneous divorce and career transition a couple years ago and have since been trying to do something more creative instead of 9-5, while he moved countries for higher education. We aren’t established and now after 2 years of long distance it’s starting to turn stale or depressing. I tend to whine and complain more often than him while he holds it down since he’s naturally just more stable. He has started criticizing me like never before over nothing in particular.

It’s not that I can’t handle him being moody. I just don’t know what’s happening. He can’t exactly tell me because he barely understands himself because…. He’s 25? He doesn’t reflect on himself much.
I don’t know if he’s lonely and can’t say it. If he sees hot girls in the new country and wants to hook up. If he’s mad at my work schedule. He thinks he isn’t rocking the boat but I’m the boat is sinking.

I’ve been pretty pessimistic about our relationship because I want a future and real partner and full life. Ldr is exhausting and sometimes I wonder if I’m just hiding or something. I do really love the guy but don’t know if it’s a good idea to consider him as husband material. Plus trying to be together just looks like such a huge struggle and I learned long ago that the struggle story is a myth. It can be easy if you want it to be, just pick someone that meets your criteria.

This was a rebound connection after my marriage fell through but it became much more along the way. What now? I’m pretty attached to this and we both still show up everyday. But we’re not really talking anymore it’s really painful and depressing being on the phone with him. He’s checked out shortly after being in the new country. I want to understand but don’t want to be stuck in that horrible dynamic of overgiving and raising someone who’s supposed to be my man.

I’m still not where I want to be in life and need the support. I’m not sure what I’ll do without my person.

so for context me and my bf have been dating for around 8 months and we are long distance.
for the past couple of months, like in the past 2/3 months, hes been acting super different and dry, he doesn't reply to the ily and hes just dry in everything we do, i keep being the same, im a jealous girl and the distance doesnt make it better but i always try to keep my jealousy for myself, but lately hes being overly sensitive about it. i know i might be too much sometimes but ive been already trying to stop. i know i might be the problem sometimes but every time when we talk it through it he always says that its fine, its nothing, that he doesn't care. hes not reacting to anything like some of our spicy jokes, inside jokes and stuff like that. idk what to do i love him so much but i dont think he loves me

I didn’t want to bother with screenshots so transcript below. Some context, this has been on going issue for a few months.

I’m 31/F and he’s 30/M

We are in a LDR. We’ve met irl once and I have tickets to see him again in February.

He’s got a chronic illness (undiagnosed) and often has episodes of bad pain and when it starts to settle he has been known to be offline for half a day or more trying to sleep. Fine. Typically he’s clingy and wants to b on call 24/7 with me when he doesn’t feel great. I love being his support. But when I’m having my own symptoms and I’m struggling with my mental health I will ask him for a call or I’ll tell him how I’m feeling. But whenever I ask for a call when I’m upset he tells me he’s busy. He thinks texting is enough but for me it’s not. We’ve been together almost a year. He’s got avoidant tendencies but doesn’t think he does. Yes I’ve communicated a lot. He never comes back with a counteroffer. Like for example if I asked for a call but he’s busy, he could offer to call when he’s done with x or in x amount of time for x amount of time. Like 5 mins would have meant the world of a difference to me but instead of trying to compromise he just basically told me no.

After the below conversations, it’s been over 24hrs since I’ve heard from him. I don’t want to be the first to message and I hate playing games but I’ve carried this relationship a lot emotionally and it’s affecting me. I really love him and want to find a way to make things work for both of us but he doesn’t seem to understand how to compromise.

Is there anymore I could have done? Was I not clear enough? Or is ball really in his court?

Prior to this convo below. I had already told him at the start of the day before he got online:

“Been really struggling the last few days mentally and I wish you were around for support…but I understand why you haven’t been and i do want you to rest. I don’t want to make you feel guilty for being exhausted and in pain. Just feel like I’m going through it alone again.. and it sucks. sigh I love being your support when you’re having a bad storm and your mind is trying to storm too… I just sometimes wish I could receive some of that support back when I’m lowest. I know it’s a monthly thing and timing sucks, and I’m sure it’s exhausting to talk to me when I’m anxious….ofc I manage myself the best I can but… I selfishly want you take care of me :(“

—-

Me:
Could you keep me company tonight? I want to hear your voice
I'm so tired

Him:
tbh i think i might not be that good company, kinda trying to be everywhere at once atm but at least got my lamps changed above the stove xD got lucky that i had correct ones in the closet
and yeah you said that you didnt really get good sleep last night, it sux because it feels like then whole day dont have that energy
on friday you got that event so thats nice \^\^ have you got it all figured out or does something need to be done stil

Me:
Is it that you don't think you will be good company because you are multitasking or is it because you don't want it be on call?
I haven't had energy this whole weekend baby
And yeah. Idk. We will see how the event goes. Nothing needs to be done for it

Him:
yeah same x) and well thats good its all ready then \^\^ but sorry i dont understand the question :D

Me:
I'm asking for you to call me because I've been lonely and upset and your presence makes me feel better. I'm offering you a way to be my support. So is it cuz you're too busy for me. Or is it because you don't want to be on call with me?
Can I be a priority for a little bit?
You can be honest.

Him:
when you type it like that it makes it sound like im avoiding you x) no, i'm not just good company atm since last week wasnt the most productive so got things to do around house so not on PC at all time

**Me:**
But you are
Are those things time sensitive?
Is changing a light bulb more important than comforting your partner? Youve told me to tell you when I really need you. Because before you don't always know. Then when I do it seems You are asleep or busy. It doesn't feel like You are making space for me. When you told me your always reachable when your awake is not true.

Him:
i have been keeping you company ever since i woke up.. just because we are not having a call on 24/7 it doesnt mean i dont care, and that light bulb question was just silly that i dont even bother to answer that

After that I was very upset and frustrated so I said okay fine goodnight.

😮‍💨😣

Does anyone know if a product that's dedicated to facetiming with decent or better quality?

Hi everyone

I'm sorry for my English but I'm not English native tongue.

I'm a 26M and my girlfriend F24. We were in a long-distance relationship until a month ago (we lived in two different cities, about two hours apart). I'm a doctor, and after graduating, I decided to start my residency in her city rather than mine so that we could close the distance and being close each other. So, I moved here.

We don't live together at the moment because she isn't working, and she has told me that she'd rather wait until she's financially independent before moving in together, even though I've assured her that I would be able to support both of us financially.

Anyway, apart from my girlfriend, I don't know anyone here. I'm really, really happy that we finally closed the distance but, when 'ìm not with her, I'm basically very lonely. My entire family, along with all my friends and acquaintances, are back in my hometown. On top of that, I find this city quite depressing, and I really miss the places and landscapes I've always been surrounded by. When I don't see her, I feel very sad, because i don't have any friends, relative or people dear to me exept my gf of course. I'm trying to make new friends here but it's not easy at all.

Do you think it would be reasonable for me to go back to my hometown one weekend a month? Would that be too much?

I'd do it not only to see my family, but also to spend time with all my friends back home and maintain those friendships, which I'm really afraid of losing now that I've moved away.

For various personal reasons, my girlfriend might not always be able to come with me when I visit my hometown, so sometimes I'd have to go on my own.

Do you think spending one weekend a month back home would be too much?

Thanks so much

any advice really really appreciated!

I have been in this ldr relationship with my Girlfriend for a 1 month now and its been going really bad she always disappears on me and leave me hanging and her excuses is that she is busy with family and I know she is not cheating but she says everything will be fixed when she returns to live alone and im scared of what if it doesnt change and im trapping myself in this relationship

And the more I stay the harder it is to break up but I also say to myself what if it will actually get better when she lives alone again like when we first met

My bf and I are LD (11 months) and have been in an argument for like 4 days now, we are unable to resolve it because everytime we try he does something or says something that makes me wonder if he truly understands or just wants to close the argument. without real repair. He also keeps working on his laptop whilst I’m trying to solve it with him.

We had an argument and without going into the details, I spent my whole Saturday crying. He said his apology but also in the same breath said I’m blowing things way out of proportion which made my feelings feel silly and the apology not sincere. He also keeps saying that I should know his intentions and give him some good faith. Eventually, he did give a very long heartfelt apology and I truly did feel happy and at peace.

However…the next day i had a horrible sadness all day and realised there were a few things I never got to say to him about how I felt, so I wanted to bring this up to him, it wasn’t my intention to open it up again but rather just share my feelings, get it off my mind etc…when I tried to explain to him what was still in my mind, He seemed reluctant to discuss. When I try to talk to him he is distracted by working or gets out his laptop to work mid convo. he asked “do you really wanted to go over everything again.” In an annoyed way. I felt like a burden although I get he he may have been feeling exhausted too. He said he feels I am beating him with a stick for what’s already happened. Which was hurtful to hear since I was just sharing my feelings.

I know we love eachother so much, I know he also never would intentionally make me feel this way, but I’ve spent so much time crying over this and I feel anxious to bring something up to him in the future. He’s usually so good at making things better after an argument, and the most romantic bf ever, but for some reason he’s not working with me on this and thinks I just want to keep dragging things out on purpose. The things that upsets me the fear that he sees me differently and will fall out of love with me.

I guess I also want to know, has anyone else ever still felt that things were unresolved even after an apology has been said?