Has anyone really young been able to close the distance between US and UK?

Me and my partner are looking to close the gap after 3 years, but it’s been super difficult because we’re young.

For context, he’s 21 and i’m 23. I’m currently working 2 jobs in the U.S. just to pay rent and get by. He’s currently unemployed and trying to figure out what type of career he wants after quitting his job about a week ago.

We aren’t established in our careers, I currently split an apartment with my brother and my partner lives with his dad.

We qualify for the unmarried partner visa to the UK since we’ve dated for long, i’ve brought him a ticket before to come meet my family in my home country, and we have so much proof basically that we constantly visit each other etc.

But he doesn’t make 29k and never has which is what he needs in order for us to close the gap on this visa, the reason mainly being he’s SO young. I don’t really know anyone making 29k at 21 there, especially in his city (Edinburgh, Scotland). He also doesn’t have a university degree, so he’s limited in what he can apply to.

We feel kinda discouraged and he’s been finding it hard to talk about closing the gap for these reasons. I’ve looked at some success stories here but it’s usually people in their 30’s or very late 20’s who achieve it. We met a few years back while I was studying abroad and then continued to date but we REALLY want to just be together already :(.

So I guess, has anyone had a similar situation? We want to close the gap by next year, but this is the issue. In February, we would try to save up the most we could and he would try to get a full time job but even then, minimum wage isn’t livable and does not make 29k so it’s rough without qualifications. If he were to an apprenticeship or college or anything, it would mean multiple more years to wait!!

I wish I could help more but I can’t. I have a degree, but even then I’m still working 2 part time jobs because it’s been difficult to get anything full-time over here too.

Because he lives with his dad, we would stay there and save up for a year or two which I wouldn’t mind since he lives in a nicely sized house and it’s just him and I who would live there other than his dad. But even though we would be able to afford living at his dads and have definitely been able to finance ourselves as we’ve traveled a lot and such, the government still wouldn’t let us bypass that strict income requirement :(.

Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts

So guys I went to Delhi to meet him and he was very excited just the night before, I was gonna arrive there at 3 in the morning so I msg him and he wasn't replying so kept on messaging, he replied saying "it's over, we can't meet" and I started having anxiety attacks, like I was alone in that city where I was travelling for the first time and he ditched me like nothing?

Dumb me still went after him telling him that it's fine we can restart mistakes happen and shi, but I'm just really frustrated coz this is being repeated everytime there's a meetup planned. He simply doesn't show up, or makes lame excuses or starts a fight just to avoid the meetups.

I (21F) am from Serbia and I want to meet my boyfriend (20M) from Egypt who I have been with for a year. We are both still full time students which means we are not in the best financial situation (only worked the odd summer job), plus we are not from first world countries. The original plan was for him to visit me, however after doing the math and logistics we realized that for him to visit me he needs a visa and it would all be much more expensive. First I suggested helping him with the costs but for the visa they check bank statements and even if I help out they might not approve it because he doesnt have a stable monthly income, and it would cost two times as much for him to come here, where as if i visit him where i only need a cheap e-visa. So our option is either wait a few years until he finishes school and gets a job, or just me visit him first until he has the funds to visit me. We decided I can pay for the flight, we can split the hotel and he will pay for all the food and activates so it is fair.

Now, I have the funds to visit but I live in a typical balkan household where I live with my conservative parents (it's normal to live with your parents until you get married) and I know they would never understand and be rightfully worried and would 100% be against it, and i cant go fully against them as I financially rely on them. All my friends know about this relationship, they also know his face, his address and legal name, so i'm thinking of not telling my parents but still being constantly in contact with my friends in case of any danger, as well as not going to his house but booking a hotel for extra safety. I plan to go to Hurghada, which is a tourist city as I also know not all of Egypt is safe and after doing research it seemed the most solo-traveller friendly.

My question is are there any more tips on being safe and is what i am doing stupid? If i lived alone and was fully independent i would tell my parents the truth, but in this case i know they would not approve and would forbid it. Is it enough for my friends to know my true location at all times or am i being stupid?

hi everyone. my partner (22m) and i (22f) are both pursuing graduate degrees, with me pursing a phd in chem and him pursuing his md. weve been friends for years but started dating in around april and started long distance in july. we were on the phone not too long ago doing one of those stupid “is your partner allowed to do…” tiktoks. one of the questions was: “is your boyfriend allowed to go to parties that his ex attends” and i said no, since it is my personal opinion that exes should not be friends. his response to that was “well, [town he is in] is small.”

i inquired more about whether or not he would tell me if he did happen to go to a larger gathering where his ex would be, since i know he mentioned how small his hometown and how intertwined friend groups could be. he said he already had attended such gatherings and didn’t mention it to be since i told him i was not interested in the nature of his relationships with his exes. his reasoning behind this was that when we first started dating, i personally was not a fan of the ex talk since i felt like the more i knew, the more insecure it would make me feel about myself. then on top of that, he tells me they are attending the same medical school. i know md programs are extremely competitive and you’d want to go to the best program you get into but hearing this months after he started school instead of immediately was a huge slap in the face for me. i know i mentioned i was iffy about the ex talk but i think that it’s important for me to know regardless and it would’ve been easier for me to process months ago as opposed to 5 months into their school year.

they were still together when they were applying to med school and it makes me feel insecure and as if i am intruding on a decision they probably made together. i understand that medical school is a huge commitment and that he shouldn’t have to compromise his education or career because of a past relationship. i would never expect him to do that. however, i can’t help but feel uncomfortable knowing that they are now experiencing something they potentially envisioned doing together while they were still in a relationship.

i think what bothers me the most is that i wasn’t given the opportunity to process this information when we first started dating. i understand that i initially expressed discomfort with discussing exes, but i feel like there’s a difference between knowing the intimate details of a past relationship and knowing that your partner is going to be attending the same medical school as someone he was with for two years, especially considering how they broke up a few months before we started dating.

i also recognize that some of my feelings are rooted in insecurity, and i don’t want to project that onto him or make him feel like he’s done something wrong simply for attending the same school as his ex. at the same time, i feel like this is something that should have been communicated regardless of whether or not i initially wanted to discuss past relationships.

being long distance already requires an immense amount of trust, and finding this out so unexpectedly has made me question how much i actually know about his day-to-day life. i don’t want to spend the next four years feeling anxious about the possibility of them interacting, but i also don’t want to throw away a relationship with someone i genuinely love over something that may ultimately mean nothing.

i’m honestly just struggling to reconcile the fact that someone who was such a significant part of his life is still going to be physically present throughout such a formative period, while i’m hundreds of miles away. i know that their relationship is over, but emotionally, it’s difficult not to feel like i’m on the outside looking in.

i guess i’m wondering whether i’m being unreasonable for feeling hurt that he didn’t disclose this sooner, especially given my initial reluctance to discuss exes. he’s been trying to reassure me but due to the shock of it all, i’m honestly really struggling to even hear him out without getting overwhelmed by my own emotions. i also don’t want to be unfair to him or spend the next four years of my life feeling insecure about my relationship. before this, i really felt like this relationship could be something that could last a really long time and i hate that im starting to second guess that now.

additionally, from an outside perspective, is it possible for me to move on from this given that we have an otherwise healthy relationship? i don’t want to just convince myself im okay with something even though im really not.

tldr: my long distance bf recently revealed that he attends the same medical school as his ex of 2 years, whom he broke up with shortly before we started dating. they were still together when applying to medical school, and I only found out by accident during a TikTok couples game. he’s also attended gatherings where she’s been present without mentioning it. although I initially told him I didn’t want to discuss exes, I feel like this was important information to disclose. hes been reassuring me, but I’m struggling with the insecurity of knowing they’ll spend the next 4 years in the same environment while I’m hundreds of miles away. am i unreasonable for being upset that he didn’t tell me sooner, and how do I move past this?

TLDR : when I want to break up with my gf her passed away is this a good time or not?

For context I(25M) is talking to a girl(21F) for more than a year and we officially became bf and gf after few months of talking. But ever since after that I'm having difficulties cuz we are in different countries and time zones are different that made our communication difficult and she responds me whenever she wants but expects me in a seconds even tho I'm in uni and studying. Cherry on top she talks with a guy-friend which I hate absolutely ( he proposed to her even tho he knows that she is already in relationship ). Not only this there are some incidents happened which lead me to the decision of break-up with her but when it's time to break-up with her father passed away 4 days ago. I wonder is this the good time to break up with her or not? I don't know what to do cuz I'm position where I can't leave her in a position like or stay in this relationship.

Yes we have an age gap but most days don’t feel it. I’m not here to exactly discuss age, but moreso the distance aspect maybe or general relationship. We love each other deeply and naturally click and all that. We have the same values and religion and home country, yet are both progressive free thinkers.

We’re both bonded in that way where you feel you’re both on another plane and the rest of the world is kinda somewhere below. Like a creative or cerebral bond? Anyway, point is we gel. As enriching as our relationship is, we’re both not rich and are struggling to find a way to actually come together.

I went through a simultaneous divorce and career transition a couple years ago and have since been trying to do something more creative instead of 9-5, while he moved countries for higher education. We aren’t established and now after 2 years of long distance it’s starting to turn stale or depressing. I tend to whine and complain more often than him while he holds it down since he’s naturally just more stable. He has started criticizing me like never before over nothing in particular.

It’s not that I can’t handle him being moody. I just don’t know what’s happening. He can’t exactly tell me because he barely understands himself because…. He’s 25? He doesn’t reflect on himself much.
I don’t know if he’s lonely and can’t say it. If he sees hot girls in the new country and wants to hook up. If he’s mad at my work schedule. He thinks he isn’t rocking the boat but I’m the boat is sinking.

I’ve been pretty pessimistic about our relationship because I want a future and real partner and full life. Ldr is exhausting and sometimes I wonder if I’m just hiding or something. I do really love the guy but don’t know if it’s a good idea to consider him as husband material. Plus trying to be together just looks like such a huge struggle and I learned long ago that the struggle story is a myth. It can be easy if you want it to be, just pick someone that meets your criteria.

This was a rebound connection after my marriage fell through but it became much more along the way. What now? I’m pretty attached to this and we both still show up everyday. But we’re not really talking anymore it’s really painful and depressing being on the phone with him. He’s checked out shortly after being in the new country. I want to understand but don’t want to be stuck in that horrible dynamic of overgiving and raising someone who’s supposed to be my man.

I’m still not where I want to be in life and need the support. I’m not sure what I’ll do without my person.

I like to make daily little videos for my partner who I can't be in contact with at the moment (personal circumstances I can't get into) and upload them to an unlisted youtube playlist he has the link to, it somehow makes me feel connected to him and looking forward to when he can see them all since I cant share my days with him right now like i used to. Picked up the insta360 go 3s yesterday and the automatic interval video feature is so handy. Our circumstance is a little unique but just wanted to share here for anyone else who for whatever reason has limited contact with your loved ones (deployment etc).

I’m (M20) years old, and recently my girlfriend(f20) and I broke up after being together for about a year. This was my first relationship, and honestly, I’m struggling a lot with losing her.
We’re both Indian, but she moved to the US when she was 10 years old, while I live in India. We were in a long-distance relationship. We had talked about our future, and my plan was to move to the US eventually. She once told me she would never leave me, so I genuinely believed we would find a way to make things work.
She was my first love, and I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love her. Losing her has been incredibly painful because I genuinely thought she was the person I would build my future with.
What went wrong?
We had different opinions about certain things, and I enjoyed discussing and debating different perspectives. I always thought that having differences in a relationship was normal. To me, two people didn’t have to agree on everything to love each other or have a successful relationship. I believed we could understand each other’s perspectives, respect our differences, and find ways to work through disagreements together.
However, she seemed to see things differently. From what I understood, these differences were more than just normal disagreements to her. They were things she felt made us incompatible, and she questioned whether our differences in opinions would affect our future together, including how we might raise children.
Looking back, I realise that we didn’t know how to communicate about our differences in a way that worked for both of us. Over time, our disagreements and differences in opinions contributed to resentment on her side.
I didn’t know she had been building up this resentment while we were together. Because we were in a long-distance relationship, I wasn’t aware of how much certain things were affecting her emotionally. I only found out when she eventually told me about the resentment she had been carrying.
After she explained this to me, I told her that I didn’t want her to bottle up her feelings and that I wanted her to tell me when something was bothering her. I genuinely wanted us to communicate openly so we could understand each other and work through our problems.
When she explained her feelings and asked me about certain things I’d said, I would explain my reasoning and what I meant. I thought explaining my intentions would help her understand my perspective and resolve the disagreement.
But looking back, I realise that explaining why I said something didn’t necessarily address the emotional hurt my words had caused her. I was concentrating on helping her understand what I meant, while she also needed me to understand how my words had affected her.
I think this was one of the problems in our communication. I didn’t always recognise the emotional impact of my words, and she had accumulated resentment that I hadn’t known about until she told me.
She told me she had tried many times to explain these issues to me, but I failed to understand her. She also told me she doesn’t believe me when I say I can change.
That hurts because I genuinely want to improve. I can see things now that I didn’t fully understand when we were together. I know that recognising these things after the breakup doesn’t undo how she felt, and I understand why she might not trust my promises anymore.
I wish I’d understood her sooner, when she was still trying to make things work.
At the same time, our relationship wasn’t entirely bad. We loved and cared about each other, shared good moments, and had a lot that I genuinely valued. That’s part of why I’m finding this so difficult to accept.

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I'm a 25yo Japanese woman, and I've been talking to a 22yo Russian guy I met on a language exchange app for about 5–6 months.

We started off as friends, but somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for him. And honestly, I think he feels the same way.

Neither of us has explicitly confessed our feelings, but there's definitely something more than friendship between us.

He's genuinely sweet, a little weird in the most endearing way, and I really enjoy having him in my life.

The thing is, we've never met in person.

He's told me multiple times that he wants to come to Japan specifically to see me. However, because of some complicated circumstances involving travel restrictions and money, he hasn't been able to make any concrete plans yet.

I know he's trying. He's even looking for extra work to save money for the trip, and I really appreciate that. I don't want to pressure him or make him feel guilty about things he can't control.

And I think that's what makes this so difficult.

I like him enough to wait, but I don't know what exactly I'm waiting for.

I've always believed that you can't truly know someone romantically until you've met them in person. So even though I have feelings for him, I don't want to rush into a relationship or make promises before we've actually spent time together.

At the same time, I'm planning some major changes in my life.

I'm planning to leave my current job next year, and I'm considering going to Europe on a working holiday. I want to experience life abroad, improve my English, and figure out what I really want to do with my future.

If I were planning to stay in Japan and continue living the same life, I honestly think I could wait much longer.

But my life isn't going to stay the same.

I don't expect him to promise me a relationship, and I don't need him to make a decision about us right now.

I just wish I knew whether we'll actually get the chance to meet, and roughly when.

What's really bothering me is the uncertainty.

I don't know where these feelings are going. I don't know if we'll ever meet, whether something real could develop between us, or if we'll eventually just drift apart without ever finding out.

Sometimes I want to tell him how I feel and explain why this uncertainty is difficult for me.

But I'm afraid that doing so might make him feel pressured, especially when I know he's already doing his best.

And part of me wonders whether I should just accept that some things are beyond our control and focus on my own future instead.

I don't want to give up on someone I genuinely like just because the timing is complicated.

But I also don't want to put my own life on hold for something that might never happen.

What would you do in my situation?

Would you tell him how you feel and explain your situation? Would you give it more time? Or would you gradually let go?

I'd really appreciate some honest, outside perspectives⋮(งˋ͈ᵔˊ͈ⱴ)⋮

I like to think I'm relatively financially smart, but I feel like long-distance relationships don't always fit the normal financial rules.

My boyfriend and I are trying to figure out how to close the distance. Ideally, he would find a job and get a work visa. If that happens, great, we'll figure out how to split expenses and move forward like a normal couple.

The problem is that he won't find a job that will sponsor him and the partner visa route is uncertain, so we're also looking at student visas. This is where I'm struggling.

Under normal circumstances, I would never pay a boyfriend's tuition fees. However, the only reason he would be studying is to move here and be with me. If we weren't in a relationship, he wouldn't be attending this program at all. Because of that, part of me feels responsible for covering the costs. Full or half.

The thing is, both of us can technically afford it, but it would mean using our sabings. On top of tuition, I would be covering all living expenses and giving him 'pocket money' so can't build up savings as quickly.

Financially, it feels like a terrible idea on paper. But emotionally, if it helps us finally live in the same country, it also feels worth it. We are also at an age where we have to start family quite quickly so emptying savings, him being a student and me on maternity leave sounds very worrying.

How have you handled finances in these situations?

Edit: I'm finnish. He is british. We are aged mid 30's to 40's. We have been together 10+ years. I didn't bring this up cause I was genuinly curious how people handled these situation in general. More than in my specific situation. I figured that people who have closed the distance in an international LDR have had to go throug this thinking process.

Just a vent. My so lives in Italy - their clocks change for daylight savings time like 2 weeks or sometimes before or after - I’m not sure if it’s a fixed date I should just google it lol

But it’s hell when like he always calls me when he gets up to go to work and we spend a little bit of time together and it’s right around midnight-

But his clock/time changes either two or three weeks before or after — And now I have to wait till 1 o’clock, and I can’t do it some nights

And then our normal phone calls is usually when he is done with work and I’m done with everything else so usually we talk for an hour and a half or so during the day

But my God does daylight savings time screw that up for a while until we are back in sync

I’m just curious, do you guys suffer during this time as well?

Why isn’t the whole world on the same daylight savings time thing?

I feel even worse for people that have to work around places that don’t change their time and their time changes and they have to adjust twice a year

I know what this isn’t a huge issue

but it irritates me a tiny bit I just want to talk about it because nobody else understands

to preface, sorry for the long ass post, but genuinely at my wits end and i need someone to ask besides just repeatedly asking my mom about it.

i’m kind of losing my mind over the whole situation and i really want some outside perspectives, especially from people who’ve experienced something similar. my girlfriend and i have been in a long-distance relationship for over a year. we live in different countries (much like everyone here lol), but we were extremely close. we talked pretty much every day for a long time, shared so much of ourselves, and even got involved with each other’s families. she talked about me to her family (though she’s not out to her family), and she initiated asking to meet my mom over video call (which we ended up doing).

one thing that made our relationship especially meaningful was that she initiated a pact with me that we’d always be together, regardless of what happened. and i mean literally forever. she clarified that she meant until death. she told me she’d never made a pact like that with anyone else before.
she also said that even if we somehow lost romantic feelings, she’d still want me as her lifelong companion. she always talked about how different our connection was from her previous relationships, how comfortable she felt with me, how she’d never connected with anyone quite like me, etc. and i feel the exact same way, she’s GENUINELY my best friend, not just my girlfriend.

but this isn’t really a new thing! she has a history of disappearing when she’s emotionally overwhelmed. she admitted that she had ghosted pretty much every friend she’d ever had, but always emphasized that i was different.
back in august 2025, she disappeared for about five days and then came back extremely apologetic. she was genuinely distressed because she thought she’d ruined our relationship. she explained that she had a habit of withdrawing when overwhelmed, but that she never intended to leave me.
we worked through it. and she even brought it up** **that incident again and apologized for it. she specifically acknowledged that she should’ve at least warned me before going MIA.
so she KNEW how much unexplained silence affected me. there would be sporadic 2 weeks or a few days of silence in late 2025. but this year, we were basically talking everyday…. which leads me to the next part.

fast forward to july 2026. she was dealing with a lot of personal changes and stress, including moving away from her family. her communication started getting inconsistent, and she disappeared for around 10 days before returning on july 23. she apologized, explained she’d been extremely tired and unable to interact, and mentioned that she’d started therapy.
but she was still affectionate toward me. she was complimenting me, joking around, and explicitly referring to us as being in a relationship.
then on july 27th, she sent me a completely normal, playful message about being productive that day.
and that was it. nothing since.
so now it’s been THREE months.
i did reach out to her mother in september, who told me she was okay (i mean i was starting to think she was dead at some point), which was reassuring regarding her wellbeing. but i still haven’t heard anything directly from my girlfriend.
i’ve sent messages expressing that i understand if she needs space (we’re both very introverted), but that i just want some kind of communication. most recently, i explained that i couldn’t keep obsessively checking her accounts and that she could reach me directly whenever she was ready.
i’m not necessarily even expecting her to immediately resume our relationship. i just genuinely cannot understand the idea of her permanently disappearing without ever saying another word. i also have OCD (ironically we both do but mine functions differently ), which makes the uncertainty especially difficult. i’ve caught myself rereading conversations and trying to find some kind of explanation in everything she said. it’s exhausting.

so i guess my questions are:
- has anyone experienced a partner withdrawing for months because of personal difficulties or avoidance, and eventually coming back?
- would you consider three months of silence an unspoken breakup, even if there was no indication of wanting to leave beforehand?
- how would you handle this situation without constantly waiting for an answer?

TLDR: my long-distance girlfriend of over a year suddenly stopped responding 3 months ago, despite being extremely committed to our relationship and initiating a pact that we’d be together forever. she has a history of withdrawing when overwhelmed, but always insisted i was different. she’d previously disappeared, returned apologetically, and even acknowledged months later that she should’ve warned me. she was still affectionate right before disappearing this time, with no indication of wanting to break up. her mom confirmed she’s okay, but i haven’t heard anything directly from her. i’m struggling to understand whether this is another period of emotional withdrawal or if i’m genuinely being ghosted permanently. has anyone experienced something similar?

I’ve(16F) been talking for this guy(16M) for about 3 months now with plans to meet him in person in december. in the beginning, things were obviously super warm and fun— we’d talk for hours otp unless we had somewhere to be, played games together, flirted, slept otp together. i never really felt interested enough in a guy to be committed as my past experiences were disappointing but he’s really something special.

before i started actually liking him, i always spoke spontaneously without thinking. we’d laugh a lot and talk about anything there was to talk about. he told his mom about me pretty early on, naturally i told my mom as well because i felt this was a connection that could turn serious. ive talked to his closest friends otp, even playing games with them. few of his closer family members know about me. i felt special.
i started to actually like him a lot as the days went by. he wasn’t shy about communicating his feelings and needs, he’d constantly tell me about how beautiful i was, how excited he was to see me, etc.

i feel like the more i leaned into him, the more self concious i got with what i conversed about. i found my head would go blank during regular conversation wondering if i was interesting enough or being too much, id subconsciously change the subject on personal topics then regret not saying anything more later on. sometimes we’d irritate eachother but those moments were something we could easily get past. i feel bad because within the months he’s done most of the facetiming, propping me up while he eats or plays with his animals. i’ve facetimed him twice but after that it’s been mostly my ceiling icl, i usually wear makeup and rarely show my bare face to people so it’s a bit uncomfortable although i know someday its inevitable and it’s better to get it over with

slowly, the silence in our calls were longer, conversations were less than surface level, the compliments stopped, the texts slowed.

recently he brought to my attention how he thinks we should stop talking for a month, and when we reconnect we’ll figure out if we really want to meet. it hurt me, but i understood because i knew i wasn’t myself. he mentioned how although i didn’t do anything truly wrong, he felt there was no chemistry between our personalities, no intellectual intimacy, stale humor, and so on. i accepted, i was kind of defeated, really. i couldn’t combat the way he felt.
then the same night he texted me, asking if i wanted to call while he did homework, i declined (i would’ve said yes if we weren’t in that current situation) saying there was something i wanted to do, we talked about some things we did within our day as if nothing happened, he’d even mentioned how he was thinking about me. when the conversation died i asked him about the whole 1 month thing again since he texted me out of nowhere. he reiterated that he does think it’s best we stop talking, and how texting me was out of habit. i told him that while i was happy to hear from him, he can’t just go back on his word, because it really confused me. we apologized and that was that. we haven’t spoken in days and i’ve been thinking a lot. i wish i asked better questions and wasn’t so scared to be vulnerable with him. i’m at a loss on what to do

i’ve reflected and although i want to reach out to him to talk about it, i can’t help but wonder if he really needs this space and i’d just be digging a deeper grave for myself by texting him. i know id regret not reaching out earlier but i can’t decide what i should do because it really felt like he was no longer romantically interested in me in the first messages.
what do i do? i miss him dearly, even the annoying parts

What a habit or a routine that you have with your ldr partner that changed the game for you?

Hi guys! First time poster here
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we have always lived 30 mins away from each other. In a few weeks he is moving to Hawaii with his best friend. For context his best friend is moving bc his gf lives down there and my bf wants to follow along as he is in his mid twenties and honestly feels stuck in life. He wants something different and he always tells me how much he loves Hawaii since he grew up traveling there often with his family. I am supportive as I am a person who believes you should travel in your twenties and I would do the same right now if I wasn’t in school. I was originally worried abt the potential thoughts of girls and him being weird since I tend to overthink but then knowing him he never had that pursue tendencies as we have bonded a lot over that as I am the same. This next year of his life is his version of living through Anthony Bourdain. We both love his show and have read his book so I can see how he wants to travel. But I feel selfish for feeling sad that he’s leaving as the closest thing we’ve done to long distance was when I went on a month long family trip to my homeland where there was a bigger time difference than Hawaii and we did fine back then. For travel wise-I have no issues traveling and want to plan as soon as possible but right now he has me on pause for it as he isn’t there yet but also he doesn’t know what job he will end up getting and how their hours will be and finances will look. I just want to know is it okay to feel sad that he’s leaving for a while and that I am worried about our relationship but I’m also looking for overall advice,anything is greatly appreciated 🩶 thank you all🦋

I have been with my LDP for nearly 2 years now, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me and tick every box I ever had. However, we live 4.5 hours away from each other and both have young children.

Initially, she was going to move to me, as she prefers the area but her child’s other parent said that they wouldn’t be willing to move or have the child move without them and so that put pay to that idea.

So the only way the gap could now close is if I move, this initially didn’t look possible due to my child’s other parent being very involved in their life and not being able to take them away from that however, in the last 3 months, my child’s other parent has had a change of heart and has agreed to move to my LDPs location with us. Which will allow us to close the gap, which is amazing news.

The issue I keep getting stuck on, is taking my child away from their very involved grandparents, they are going to be devastated, and the relationship will be different between them all and honestly I feel so guilty about it. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being so selfish, but at the same time, this is an opportunity to have the life I’ve always wanted and my partner is amazing with my child and he loves them so much.

At the moment, I see my LDP probably 3 weekends a month, we do the drive often, so I know I can keep up regular visits to grandparents, but it won’t be the same as it is right now.

The prospects work wise and school wise are better where my partner lives, and the house we can afford is larger. I just keep coming back to the guilt.

HELP - would you make the move?

he was gonna come see me and we were gonna go to disneyland but they denied any pto for the remainder of the year :( his job works him a lot but jobs are important so i understand its just really frustrating i havent seen him at all this semester.

I live in America and my girlfriend lives in Lithuania. Currently she’s in college studying and I’m in America just working. We’ve talked about her moving here in the past so our relationship doesn’t stay long distance. She has 3 years and she told me the other day that she’s been having doubts about moving here and leaving everything behind and I totally understand that. She asked what realistically can happen she likes to have a plan and well if I move to Lithuania it’d only have to happen from work because we are both women and same sex marriage isn’t legal in Lithuania. I don’t want us having to split up be our only option I believe that we have time to discuss this and ik I want to build a future with her still. Idk how realistic it would be for me to move to Lithuania. 💔

So for those of you who don't know, the cozy couple app is a cute way to keep up with your long distance partner. One of the features on the app is setting your mood. For example, sleepy, happy, flirty, stuff like that. Me 22f and my boyfriend 24m have been using for a few days now. I realized that there's a way to display your partners mood on the Lock Screen, sorta like some people do with the weather.
Super cool!! Cause it's a way to keep up with how they're doing without even going into the app. I set mine to show me my bfs mood obviously, but when I told him to set his, he REFUSED. He said he'd feel
"uncomfortable" doing that. For context he goes to school out of state away from family, and has his own apartment. He also told me that he told some of his classmates about our relationship. After arguing back and forth, he stood firm on his decision. He says it's "not weird for me to keep that stuff private". I kept asking who has access to his phone and he says that "anyone can see it at anytime", BUT SO WHAT. Is there something suspicious going on or am I just being sensitive? It almost feels like he's ashamed or embarrassed of me. OR simply hiding something. Pls let me know what yall think and thank you for taking the time to read <3

It’s my birthday. I told him I was free all day until dinner time. I asked for a couple hours of his time to be with me, play a game together or hang out, and he disappears and messages back hours later “I fell asleep” “sowwy” like what???? And when I tell him im upset and sad that we didn’t get to spend time together, I said this is like the one day a year where it’s really shitty to fall asleep when you should be with your partner, he says “Ok next time I’ll peel my fucking eyes open” and hasn’t comforted me or felt nice to me at all. I’ve spent the day crying and trying to be happy around my family but this feels so horrible

Editing to add: I’ve read all your comments and they mean so much to me and I truly thank you. There is definitely going to be a conversation about this.

Hello my long distance people!

What do you guys think about sharing locations in a long-distance relationship? Personally, I feel like I’d end up obsessively checking their location all the time, and I don’t want to put myself in a position where I feel the need to constantly monitor what my partner is doing or where they are. That’s why we’ve opted not to share locations. I feel like part of being in an LDR is learning to trust each other even when you can’t physically see what the other person is doing. I’d rather practice trusting my partner without having access to their every move than rely on their location to feel reassured. What do you guys think?

Finally met after 8 months of video calls.

Definitely worth the wait