I’m 32F and he’s 31M I went to Canada from US to see him. We met on discord almost 2 years ago. Life is great c: he makes me happy

Hi, in just about 12 hours ago I broke things off with my long distance girlfriend in Philippines of 21 months.

Summarize, I met her when I was broke traveler 20 years old with no job, and little college experience when visiting family in Philippines for the first time. Then I met her, loving, family-oriented, her playing a guitar and singing to me late at night, the karaoke dates, food dates, love of film and walking down the local roads early in the morning terrified that I was gonna get mugged (haha) I was even being welcomed by her family as a Filipino-American and even doing group hangouts with her siblings and their significant others. It was time to leave to head back to US and with my 1-2 months with her, plus her history and her telling me I was her first real love after she had an abusive boyfriend who god-forbid if I were ever to see him, pointed a gun at her and only used her. With everything I told myself “I’d do anything to be with this girl, I need to find a way.” It was also my first real relationship and first time experiencing love.

I ended up joining the military, now almost halfway of a four year contract, thinking of it for a while to not only plan for me financially, educationally, and as a stepping stone, but to hopefully plan how we can close the gap. She stuck by me when doing paperwork to apply, during boot camp, and even during training and schooling, and now in which it did test our relationship which ended. She applied to college and took on a different job in her hopes to see me again. Throughout the time from early 2025 to now there were a lot of things we learned about eachother and ourselves. Things such as porn use, navigating time gaps and long hours, making the boundary that taking a break is breaking up, weeks without facetime, among other normal LDR things.

I ended up seeing her again in summer 2026 Philippines in which there were definitely changes. Compared to before I had been shaped by a whole new different culture, with her also being on summer break from College, but still a working student. We were different, but I had brought my own issues such as lust and tendency to shut down when ignoring problem in a relationship that i eventually overcame, but did affect the visit. But the biggest notable issue was compatibility, I knew about distance in LDR, I knew about honeymoon phases in LDR, I did not take into account logistics, apathy, or compatability. When one of my family was giving her a heart to heart and asked her straight up when I was next to her “do you want to move to the US.” In which we did talk prior and she said yes, but in front of my family member she said no. In which was surprise to me that ended up having both of us leave the party later on and us almost breaking up that night when we addressed our communication issues in which we learned from afterwards, but i’ll get to that later. I talked with her and we nearly broke up that night. We stayed together due to attachment moving forward since I was bound to leave so we stayed together with us even sharing a kiss, hug, and long hours at the airport before I left.

I overcame my communication issues, my lust, my unfair comparisons, but the compatability and logistics is what affected us the most. I ended up making a detailed roadmap of what I want in life after we got moved to my hometown in which I realized I don’t want to do another contract and I’d rather rebuild my life as a civilian since military is actively dulling who I am as a person. I made investments, saving money, seeing what hobbies I like, what careers I like in which I am a very fast-paced person that loves things like surfing, snowboarding, travel videography, raves/parties on a responsible level. Whereas my girlfriend is my Philippines-oriented, working, college student who doesnt have the capacity to think about closing the gap in which I couldn’t blame her, it happens. But then questions got brought up for me throughout the months. How does she feel about wanting kids? How does she feem about marriage? How does she feel about moving to the US? And would she even be happy if she did so?

As the man in the relationship, I really wanted to keep planning for us. Thats where I found my security. Where with her she plans day to day. In which this is where the logistics and compatability issues came up. I asked her if she ever thought about how we’d close the gap and how and she was still unsure in which I did feel hurt. I did not blame her for it though, nor did i resent it. I’d be leaving military in summer of 2029, and she wouldn’t be done with college until maybe 2030 and she mentioned still figuring out her life.

I cant ask her or have her ask me to move to each others country’s at this time and if we did, we’d resent each other.

I wanted to live a life full of fun, security, and use the finances that I saved to fund hobbies, education, or goals in the US and hopefully get her here. She wanted to take life day by day, already dealing with her life responsibilities, plus a relationship with a 12+ hr time gap.

After those topics dropped we tried talking more kind of for the next two weeks I mentioned that I still felt down and that I was genuinely happy shes doing college, in which she responded shes not trying to avoid it or try ignoring it but be more normal in text rather than being cold. She was putting more effort into trying to text

For me it just felt like I grown apathetic in the relationship as days gone which hurt that it didn’t hurt me because she can tell that I was obviously pulling back. To me it felt hard to fathom still being in LDR by the time i was 25-26, and her 24-25.

(I hate that even though its recent some things are a blur because I feel like the bad guy even though I broke things off. I had to take a second to just try to remember why we broke up.)

I wanted a life with her in the US. She wanted a life with me but was ultimately tied down to Philippines, college, her career, and finding herself, shes not a big traveler, and with my hobbies I feel like I shouldve instead asked her “Would you love to do these hobbies with me?” rather than “Would she be able to keep up?”

I called her and broke things off but we felt a weight off our shoulders but at the same time, maybe I don’t know if I broke things off prematurely. She had to leave 10 mins for college during our facetime in which I left off saying “I love you” with her being surprised and said “Huh?” In a jokingly funny way and me saying “You know what I mean” in which she left if off with “I love you more.” and us waving back to eachother. We are or were a strange relationship, we liked making jokes about situations that were too real sometimes.

I don’t know, I never had plans in mind to visit Philippines anytime soon but maybe I shouldnt have ended things off when there was no real pressure, or maybe ask myself if I should have questioned my apathy more.

Unsure of what to do. Theres probably a bit more details but right now I’m a bit all over the place.

Love is beautiful 🩷

Traveled from Texas -> Ireland

Ive been here about a week now and its just been perfect, everything i could've dreamed of and more. He treats me like such a princess its unbelievable! I love him with all my heart

What a habit or a routine that you have with your ldr partner that changed the game for you?

My ex (27M) broke up with me (29F) on September 2, after almost three years together. We've been in complete no contact ever since, and lately I've been wondering whether I should reach out.

For some context, we were in a long-distance relationship from the beginning. I moved to a different country for my career around the time we started dating, while he remained in my home country. Despite the distance, we were serious about each other, discussed marriage, and had plans for a future together.

Our relationship wasn't perfect, but I genuinely loved him and invested a lot in making it work.

One recurring issue was that we had different expectations regarding boundaries, priorities, and what was acceptable in a committed relationship. Certain things he did, particularly involving drinking, partying, and interactions with other women, made me uncomfortable. He generally considered these activities harmless and felt I was trying to restrict his freedom. From my perspective, I wasn't asking him to stop enjoying his life. I wanted him to acknowledge my feelings and occasionally make compromises, just as I was willing to do for him.

Over time, I increasingly felt that I was the one making adjustments to preserve the relationship. He would often say that I was prioritizing my own happiness over his, while I felt that my emotional needs were becoming less and less important.

Things became particularly difficult during the weeks leading up to his breakup with me.

On September 1, I wanted to have an important conversation with him. He told me he would talk after dinner, playing PUBG for a couple of hours, and sleeping. I ended up waiting for around two and a half hours, only to be met with a rather dismissive response when we finally spoke.

The following day, he decided to end the relationship.

He told me that our differences were irreconcilable, that he didn't believe we could build a happy life together, and that he didn't want relationship problems interfering with his upcoming professional examinations and career.

During our final video call, I cried, pleaded, and tried to convince him that we could work things out. I even told him I was willing to make changes. But he remained firm in his decision.

Eventually, while I was still crying, he said he needed to sleep and that we could talk the following day if I had anything more to say.

I never called him again.

Instead, I sent him a final message saying that I would respect his decision and wouldn't contact him unless he initiated communication.

He had also told me during our last conversation that I could reach out if I ever needed to talk to him. I don't remember the exact wording, but that was the essence of what he said.

And that's where things have remained.

It's now been almost two months of complete no contact.

Neither of us has reached out.

What makes this more confusing is his behavior after the breakup.

Within approximately a week, he returned to Instagram and started posting again, including photographs from an older vacation. A few weeks later, he removed the photographs of us from his profile, despite previously saying he would keep them.

He didn't wish me on my birthday, which was just two weeks after the breakup, although he continued publicly wishing other people on their birthdays.

I know social media doesn't necessarily reflect someone's emotional state, and I'm not claiming that any of his posts are directed at me. But seeing him resume his life while we've become complete strangers after almost three years together has been a strange experience.

Here's my dilemma.

Part of me wonders whether I should text him, especially because he explicitly left that door open by saying I could reach out if I needed to.

I also wonder whether he might be expecting me to initiate contact, considering that during previous disagreements, I was often the one who tried to repair things.

So I want to ask people here, particularly those who have been the dumper or have experienced something similar:

\- When someone breaks up with you but says you can reach out if you need to, is that a genuine invitation to communicate, or simply something people say to soften the breakup?

\- After almost two months of complete silence, is there any point in the dumpee reaching out when they already tried everything during the breakup?

\- Have any of you reached out after a prolonged period of no contact? Did it bring clarity, or did you regret it?

\- Is it possible that a dumper who previously relied on their partner to repair conflicts might be waiting for them to make the first move again?

I'm not necessarily asking whether we'll reconcile. I'm trying to understand whether initiating a conversation at this point would serve any meaningful purpose.

I'd genuinely appreciate different perspectives, including from people who initiated their breakups.

TL;DR: My ex dumped me after almost three years together, citing incompatibility and recurring conflicts. I pleaded during our final call but ultimately respected his decision and have maintained no contact for almost two months. He said I could reach out if I needed to, but hasn't contacted me himself. He's since resumed posting actively on social media and removed our photos. I'm torn between reaching out for a conversation and accepting that I've already done everything I could.

I’m an 19 year old male my gf lives in another country I’m thinking of ending the relationship but I’m not sure about it, the main reason is me having trust issues and overthinking the distance really kills me it has really affected my daily life I don’t think I can continue living like this my gf is not necessarily the problem we both love each other but I don’t know if I should end it and how.

So my girlfriend and I (both 18) are currently in high school and have been dating for about a year. We will be leaving our hometown for college in a few months’ time. When we started dating, we told ourselves that we won't let a future probability of not working out as a couple ruin what we can have in the present but as that reality inches closer, there are serious considerations to be made. I believe that a long distance relationship might work out between us, but she doesn't think so. I have always been confident and optimistic about our future while she remains a little bit more sceptical and in her words “realistic”. 

She says that statistically LDRs don't work; proximity is important in a relationship; we will grow apart and get busy with our own lives, engrossed in our academics, extracurriculars, internships, friends, and just in navigating a brand new city for both of us; eventually building resentment and hate. She says that she's seen her friends’ relationships fall apart after they moved out to college. Tbf, she isn't entirely wrong in thinking this way. A very close friend of mine had been dating this guy since high school and even did a year of LDR. She was dumped by him during their second year of LDR and the manner in which he did it made it feel like it came from a place of disdain, frustration, and bitterness built over the years. 

She said that she isn't willing to sacrifice her sanity over this relationship if it ends up going into an LDR, and does not want to lose herself over it and I fully respect that mindset.

This one time, a few months back, we were high on marijuana and she ended up blabbering to me about breaking up to “enjoy our college lives”. When I asked her about this once we were sober, she told me to ignore what she said and that what she had said in an intoxicated stupor was bullshit and didn't mean anything. I had forgotten about that until today when we had this conversation about our future and us being together or not. 

We have always handled conflict in a mature and smart manner. She is brilliant and I love her with every fiber of my being. I respect her and her decisions and I am really proud of the way we've handled problems in the past. We have never felt insecure about the other being unfaithful and have trusted each other since the day we got together. She is really special to me. Being with her, I've learnt and grown so much as a person. I've never been as close to someone as I am with her, be it emotionally or physically. The way she's shown me affection and respect is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. She has gone out of her way to make me feel loved and cared for. She's handled criticism that I've given her and she's also grown since we've got together and continues to improve and strives to be a better person and pushes me to do the same. We're truly perfect for each other but I feel like it's coming to an end. 

Now, we still have a few months before we actually move out and there is still a probability, albeit a rather infinitesimal one, that we end up in the same city. She says that we should enjoy the months that we are together at the same place and even if we end up in an LDR she is going to try to make it work with me. However, I can't seem to shake off all the things she said to me and considering what she's said to me as well as her slightly avoidant nature, that it's not going to work. I remain heavily optimistic however, pragmatically speaking, I don't think it's going far. I’d absolutely hate to be clinging on to something that probably won't exist in the near future and hold her back from being happy. I am facing an internal turmoil in my mind at 3:00am and can't fall asleep, hence this post. 

What should I do? I want to make the most out of these last few months together but the thought of breaking up terrifies me and stops me from doing so. Am I being too optimistic and not rational enough? How do I deal with this? 

Please feel free to ask me further questions for further clarity on my end and I'll answer them if I'm comfortable enough in doing so. 

A few days back I made a post about ending a LDR I had for around 2 years.

During last week I told her how angry and upset it made me feel how she keeps ghosting me and expecting me to stay checked in and committed throughout.

I can't cope because her last message to me was 9 days ago. She didn't even respond to my messages telling her how I felt.

That makes me even more upset and angry, it's like I meant nothing to her whatsoever.

I don't know if I can even cope with this. It's two years of my life wasted for someone else's fantasy. I feel so sick to the stomach that I meant so little to her after this much time.

I told her my feelings are justified, we had been "together" for two years not two weeks. And she has just gone..poof... vanished. What the actual fuck.

I know she hasn't blocked me because my messages to her are still two ticking on WhatsApp. She is just collecting my messages to her.

We've been dating for about 2 months now. Our original plan was for her to come to me in February since we thought that was the only time we would both be free. But then last week we realised we would both be free during autumn break. The problem was that she didn't have her passport so she couldn't travel yet but I remember id traveled outside of Europe a few years ago and luckily my passport was still valid. So now I'm going to see her in 6 days and I can't wait to hug her >//<

Hi all! I’m (24f) Currently in an LDR with my boyfriend (28m) for almost a year.

I live/work in the UK and he used to live here before moving back to our home country just before we met.

We had another long sit down conversation as to how we will eventually close the gap. The issue is he doesn’t want to come back to London because he didn’t like his time here. He visits me often but cannot see himself living here.

I don’t want to move back our home country because in the line of work I do, I would have to do extra years of schooling and would never be able to achieve as much as I have done here.

We have both decided to move to America in about 2/3 years as the idea agreed with us both. We both have familiar/ friendship ties there and hold citizenship there by birth so no visa issues or anything. I don’t think either of us would struggle to get decent jobs, at least ones to get us in our feet.

We have both often visited there but neither have ever lived there for a substantial amount of time.

All of this to ask, if you and your LDR partner closed the gap by moving to a new place/country for you both, how did you find it? What worked/didnt work?

Just looking for any advice as it’s a scary jump!

Thank you all in advance

we began the long distance relationship because i had to go to the university in different cities, leaving my family and my girlfriend.

in the first month, it was great. we call all the time, texting all the time and in general it was nothing. but things took a turn when she had to do an orientation program. In my country, orientation programs could last for a month or even more than that. In my girlfriend's case, it lasted for 3 months. At that time, she was barely texting me because she was busy which i could take it but as more time went on, I felt like she was losing interest in me. we never get into video call or even voice call and we barely even chatting and that is what makes me feel depressed because i feel like she's just not liking me anymore.

now a little backstory, when we were in high school. i was the one who unbothered about these kind of things and she was the one who felt like it was an Armageddon if i hadn't text her at that time. but now, it's the exact opposite. i was the one who felt like its the end of the world if we hadn't texted or she was slow respond about it or just ignoring me because she had other things to do. My girlfriend on the other hand, is actually not really care at all. if we had a text or not, its fine. if we had a call or not, its fine. if she / me slow respond, its also fine too. so now the feelings of this relationship is kinda flipped i guess.

im feeling depressed here because i feel like I'm kinda wasting my opportunity to make my relationship better when we were still in high school when she's still care all about these things. idk, maybe i wanted her version of caring again not some "ok you're not texting me, aight then" . i want the version of "babe why aren't you texting me, i was worried/miss you".

what should i do now (pls dont give me advice to break up)

need an advice

My bf (21M) is gonna move to brasil next year which is good bc we are gonna be closer since he’s from europe and im from Peru. I already went to his country to saw him last August (it was the first time). Now that he’s moving, he was expecting that i’ll go to see him in Brasil first and the. we can go to my country. i told him that for me it doesn’t feel fair, since i already move to see him. When i proposed that he comes to me first, he said that it’s frustrating because he’s moving to Brasil with a purpose that it’s training and he wants to settle down and organize his stuff there. I understand him, but i feel like maybe there’s no commitment by his side. And even that we talked about this and try to find a solution, i’m just keep thinking about this and also because he’s 3 years younger than me. I am thinking of leaving him just because i don’t feel considerate, but im not sure…

I am friends with a girl, and honestly it started okay as a new server member, we shared interests on studying and coding, and we were talking and interracing. At some point it seems like she gets ignored, after she was less active as usual. I figured out that she had problems in her life based on only that, i went in her DM and told her my thoughts and i just said that if you want, you can tell me what happened and I'll just listen, she said that was nice of me and i told her that i am serious, and then she opened up to me and said everything, i kind of relate to her after i heard everything and we talked it out, she just started her second year in university and she's exhausted from people and life in general, at the same time she's a leader of a club so she is expected to look strong and stuff. I gave her some tips that i think it will reduce her stress but i still want to help her. I shared my face reveal with her and after we talk even more on weekend, also i keep reminding her that I am here whenever you feel like telling me something, she also said that she didn't want to drag me in her life because she was scared that I might be broken after that, but i insisted that I will stay on her side and from the looks of it she liked that. On school day she's busy and exhausted as usual, sometimes she doesn't have energy to talk. I relate to her very much because I am introvert, very very introvert and I don't like socialising. In this process i feel some connection from me to her, and i don't know if I should call it love or not, but what I can say is that I have the savior complex. The concept of dating didn't occur to me because I oppose to it (relationships tend to end badly) I have bever been in a relationship and I intend to stay friends. I don't really know how to comfort her and I don't want to let go of her because I want to help her.

I’m looking for some honest advice and support because I’m really struggling with my relationship at the moment, and I feel like I’ve reached a point where I don’t know how to move forward.

My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over four years. He’s in the US and I’m in the UK. He’s not just my partner, he’s my best friend, and I’ve always imagined us eventually closing the distance and building a life together.

Things have been difficult recently, and we now haven’t properly spoken for over a week. When we do speak, the conversations are painful, and he has started threatening to end the relationship.

He keeps saying that relationships shouldn’t be this hard and that things used to be easy between us. I understand what he means to an extent. I miss when things felt effortless, too. I miss laughing together, feeling close, and not worrying about where we stand. But I also feel like relationships inevitably go through difficult periods, especially when you’re long-distance and trying to work towards a future together. I don’t think the answer is that things should never be hard; I think it’s about whether both people are willing to work through the hard parts together.

The original disagreement was about communication. He was going to be late, and I was hurt that he didn’t let me know. He basically was 5 hours late and I was worried about him and he didn’t communicate with me at all. For me, it wasn’t about needing constant updates or controlling what he does. It was about consideration and a quick message when plans change.

When I tried to explain why it upset me, I felt the conversation became about whether he’d done anything wrong and whether my feelings were justified, rather than trying to understand each other. This is something I’ve been struggling with for a while. I often feel that when I raise something that’s hurt me, the conversation turns into a defence of his intentions, and I end up feeling unheard.

I sent him a video that explained a relationship dynamic I felt I could relate to, where someone focuses on defending themselves rather than understanding the impact their actions have had. He responded by saying the person in the video was completely wrong and that my interpretation of him wasn’t accurate.

I understand that he might disagree with the video. I wasn’t trying to label him or tell him he’s a bad person. I was trying to find a way to explain how I’ve been feeling because I was struggling to put it into words myself.

Another thing that has really upset me is that he has said I have mood swings and that he tracks my mood using ChatGPT. I don’t fully understand what he means by tracking my mood or exactly what he’s doing, but hearing that my boyfriend is keeping track of my moods in this way has made me uncomfortable and hurt.

I can understand wanting to recognise patterns in a relationship or trying to make sense of difficult conversations. I’m not saying he’s not allowed to have his own feelings or talk through his experiences. But the way it was presented to me made me feel as though I was being monitored or analysed, rather than spoken to as a partner. Being told I have mood swings also feels quite hurtful when I’m trying to explain that I’m upset about something specific.

He doesn’t seem to understand why either of these things upset me. I feel like I’m constantly trying to explain not just what I’m feeling, but why I’m allowed to feel that way in the first place.

I know I’m not perfect. I can get upset, anxious and frustrated, particularly when I feel disconnected from him or uncertain about our future. I’m willing to reflect on my own behaviour and acknowledge where I could do better. But I don’t think having emotions or raising concerns should automatically mean that I’m being unreasonable.

Now, whenever we speak, I feel like the relationship itself is hanging over my head. He’s saying things shouldn’t be this difficult and bringing up ending things, and I’m left feeling frightened that the person I love most is going to walk away.

I don’t know whether he’s genuinely decided he doesn’t want this anymore, whether he’s overwhelmed, or whether we’re both stuck in a cycle that neither of us knows how to break. I don’t want to assume I know what’s going on in his head.

I just know that I want to fix things. I want to understand his feelings and frustrations, and I want him to understand mine. I want us to be able to disagree without it turning into a threat to the entire relationship. I want to feel like we’re on the same team again.

But I’m exhausted from trying to explain myself in different ways and hoping he’ll understand. I can’t fix our relationship on my own, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep trying when I don’t feel we’re making any progress together.

I’m not really sure what to do at this point and I have felt awful for over a week now…

Hey everyone, I’m in a long-distance relationship, and I’m getting really worried about my girlfriend.

Two days ago, she told me, “I’ll explain some thing later,” but since then, she hasn’t responded to any of my messages, and her phone is switched off. I don’t know what’s happening, and the uncertainty is making me anxious.

What makes this harder is that today is our 1-year anniversary. I was looking forward to this day, hoping we could spend some time together, even if it was just through a call or messages.

Being in different countries makes this so difficult because I can’t physically check on her. I keep wondering if she’s okay, and I just wish I could hear from her.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions or assume anything bad about her. I just miss her and hope she’s safe.

Has anyone experienced something similar? I could really use some advice really. Im really worried rn.

Update - she came just now, but told me that her mom beat her cause she talked back and took her phone. Now she's having s*cidal thoughts.

I met my ex a year ago while working during summer. We worked together again this summer and spent around three months together. Our relationship became serious, and he was always the one talking about our future and making plans. He showed me his world, introduced me to his family and people close to him, and let me become part of his life. I wanted to do the same for him. I wanted to show him my world and build something meaningful with him. After everything we experienced together, I genuinely imagined a future with him.
After summer, we returned to our separate lives, with an eight-hour time difference between us. For the first month, things were relatively good, but after more than a month apart, his behaviour suddenly changed. He became cold and distant, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was under a lot of pressure because of university, assignments and other responsibilities, but he never really told me how difficult things had become for him. I didn’t realise how overwhelmed he was, so I kept pushing for more communication and asking for video calls.
Sometimes, when I asked to call, he would simply say, “No, I’m gaming.” This hurt because I felt like he had time for other things but not for me. We started arguing because I felt I was the one trying to maintain our connection.
Looking back, I wonder if I made things worse by pressuring him for contact when he was already overwhelmed. Maybe he felt suffocated. I keep blaming myself and wondering whether I wasn’t enough for him or whether I expected too much. If I had known how much pressure he was under, perhaps I would have approached things differently. But he never really explained how difficult things were for him, so I was left confused by his sudden change.
Eventually, he told me he couldn’t handle a long-distance relationship anymore, and we broke up. Initially, he didn’t want to stay in contact.
During our most recent conversation after the breakup, things were surprisingly calm. We agreed on many things, and he told me he loves me. However, he also said that I had hurt him with some of my comments during our relationship.
I understand that I may have hurt him, and I don’t want to ignore his feelings. At the same time, I was also hurting because I felt him pulling away without understanding why.
What I struggle to understand is how someone who was always talking about our future, making plans and showing me his life and the people closest to him could suddenly become so cold.
I wasn’t just attached to our summer together. I wanted to build a real life with him. I wanted him to know my family, my friends and the things that matter to me. I wanted us to become part of each other’s worlds, even when we weren’t physically together.
I’m now considering flying to see him so we can talk face to face and get some clarity about what happened between us. I feel like there are still things I don’t fully understand, and I would rather have an honest conversation in person than keep trying to make sense of everything from a distance. I know that meeting him doesn’t necessarily mean we will get back together, but I feel the need to understand what happened.
Part of me hopes that talking in person will help us understand each other better. Another part of me is afraid that I’m holding on to the person he was during the summer and struggling to accept that things have changed.
I keep asking myself whether I contributed to the breakup by putting too much pressure on him, whether he simply became overwhelmed, or whether his feelings changed.
Can someone genuinely love you but still decide to walk away because the relationship becomes too difficult? Is it possible that he still loves me but felt emotionally overwhelmed? And would meeting face to face help bring clarity, or am I just looking for answers that might not change anything?
I’d appreciate honest opinions. I’m not looking for people to automatically take my side. I want to understand the situation from an outside perspective because right now, I find myself blaming myself and wondering if I could have done something differently.

I’m a 26F and have been with my boyfriend (26M) for about three years. Ever since we met I’ve had the idea of moving to his country. At first, it was like a dream of mine and he just happened to come into the picture.

A couple years later and we’re still together. It has always made sense in every possible way that I’m the one who moves (and he has made it clear he is not ready to do that or could do anything in my country due to his profession). But for some reason, now that we’re looking into the visa process, I find myself questioning over and over if I will truly be happy there.

I love a lot of his country. I have had the pleasure of visiting it many times now, but I have also seen and heard a lot of stories of people moving there and their struggle to find housing, jobs, friends, etc. and for once, I truly like my life in my own country/city.

If you had given me the option to move 2-4 years ago, I would’ve done it in a heartbeat. But now… I’m not so sure. The thing is, part of me has always had that dream to live abroad. Yet, I’m soooo scared right now. I wonder if I’ll ever feel TRULY ready or if I have to do it despite not feeling ready.

I also know if tomorrow I woke up and I told him that I’m not ready (and I wouldn’t be in a couple of years) then I’d be seriously damaging the relationship. We’re both so tired of the distance. And I do want a life with him, it’s just the thought of me having to change every single aspect of my life to have that, that it’s not doing it for me right now.

I wanna hear your experiences and advice.

I (16F) need advice for teenagers (16F, 17M) who are having struggles of maintaining relationsship. Having a relationship with only talking is hard, but we've been together for a year and half and i really want this to work out so i need advice on how to handle such relationships when the only thing you can do is talking and sometimes playing games together? How did you manage to stay so long in LDR?

I met my ex a year ago while working at a summer camp. We worked together again this summer and spent around three months together. Our relationship became serious, and he was always the one talking about our future and making plans. He showed me his world, introduced me to his family and people close to him, and let me become part of his life. I wanted to do the same for him. I wanted to show him my world, introduce him to the people who matter to me, and let him become part of my life, too. After everything we experienced together, I genuinely dreamed of building something lasting with him.
After summer, we returned to our separate lives, with an eight-hour time difference between us. For the first month, things were relatively good, but after more than a month apart, his behaviour suddenly changed. He became cold and distant, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was under a lot of pressure because of university, assignments and other responsibilities, but he never really told me how difficult things had become for him. I didn’t realise how overwhelmed he was, so I kept pushing for more communication and asking for video calls.
Sometimes, when I asked to call, he would simply say, “No, I’m gaming.” This hurt because I felt like he had time for other things but not for me. We started arguing because I felt I was the one trying to maintain our connection.
Looking back, I realise that I might have added to his stress by pushing for contact when he was already struggling. However, I didn’t know what he was going through because he didn’t communicate that to me either. I just noticed that the person who had once been so enthusiastic about our future suddenly seemed uninterested in maintaining our relationship.
Eventually, he told me he couldn’t handle a long-distance relationship anymore, and we broke up. Initially, he didn’t want to stay in contact.
During our most recent conversation after the breakup, things were surprisingly calm. We agreed on many things, and he told me he loves me. However, he also said that I had hurt him with some of my comments during our relationship.
I understand that I may have hurt him, and I acknowledge that I could have handled things differently if I had understood how much pressure he was under. At the same time, I was hurt and confused by how suddenly he changed towards me.
What I struggle to understand is how someone who was always the one planning our future, talking about being together long-term and showing me his life and the people closest to him could suddenly become so cold.
I wasn’t just attached to the time we spent together during the summer. I wanted to continue building our relationship in the real world. I wanted him to know my family, my friends and the things that make up my life. I wanted us to be part of each other’s worlds, even when we weren’t physically together. After everything we shared, I genuinely imagined a future with him.
Can someone genuinely love you but become so overwhelmed by life and relationship difficulties that they decide to walk away? Or does such a sudden change usually mean their feelings have changed, too?
I’d appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have experienced something similar. I’m trying to understand what happened rather than simply blame him or myself. I’m in so much pain.

I do not see many posts where people talk about one or both partners having children from a previous relationship. I have two adult children and one child who is 11 years old, and he has one adult child. I take my son with me when I visit where he lives, and sometimes when it is my weekend with my son, I take him along for a long weekend. What does everyone else do? We are long-distance because I cannot move with my son right now. My son absolutely loves the adventures and even has a room at his house for which we let him pick out the paint colors and bedding to make it feel like his space.

Has anyone really young been able to close the distance between US and UK?

Me and my partner are looking to close the gap after 3 years, but it’s been super difficult because we’re young.

For context, he’s 21 and i’m 23. I’m currently working 2 jobs in the U.S. just to pay rent and get by. He’s currently unemployed and trying to figure out what type of career he wants after quitting his job about a week ago.

We aren’t established in our careers, I currently split an apartment with my brother and my partner lives with his dad.

We qualify for the unmarried partner visa to the UK since we’ve dated for long, i’ve brought him a ticket before to come meet my family in my home country, and we have so much proof basically that we constantly visit each other etc.

But he doesn’t make 29k and never has which is what he needs in order for us to close the gap on this visa, the reason mainly being he’s SO young. I don’t really know anyone making 29k at 21 there, especially in his city (Edinburgh, Scotland). He also doesn’t have a university degree, so he’s limited in what he can apply to.

We feel kinda discouraged and he’s been finding it hard to talk about closing the gap for these reasons. I’ve looked at some success stories here but it’s usually people in their 30’s or very late 20’s who achieve it. We met a few years back while I was studying abroad and then continued to date but we REALLY want to just be together already :(.

So I guess, has anyone had a similar situation? We want to close the gap by next year, but this is the issue. In February, we would try to save up the most we could and he would try to get a full time job but even then, minimum wage isn’t livable and does not make 29k so it’s rough without qualifications. If he were to an apprenticeship or college or anything, it would mean multiple more years to wait!!

I wish I could help more but I can’t. I have a degree, but even then I’m still working 2 part time jobs because it’s been difficult to get anything full-time over here too.

Because he lives with his dad, we would stay there and save up for a year or two which I wouldn’t mind since he lives in a nicely sized house and it’s just him and I who would live there other than his dad. But even though we would be able to afford living at his dads and have definitely been able to finance ourselves as we’ve traveled a lot and such, the government still wouldn’t let us bypass that strict income requirement :(.

Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts

Hi everyone!

I'd really appreciate some advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.

I'm 24F from Italy, and my boyfriend is 21M from the UK.

We've been together for 2 years, although we've known each other for 3. We started out as online friends, and after a year, we met in person and decided to pursue a relationship.

So far, things have been going really well.

Since we're both university students and I don't have mandatory attendance, I've been the one travelling most of the time. I've even stayed at his house for up to 3 weeks at a time! For the past two years, we've generally managed to see each other every 2 months.

Unfortunately, things are changing.

I'm in the final year of my degree, and due to the costs of travelling, I'll only be able to afford visiting him every 4 months from now on.

I don't want to keep relying on my parents financially, so this is something I'll have to accept for the time being.

We both love each other very much and want to build a future together once we've finished university.

My boyfriend is quite optimistic about the situation because he sees it as temporary: once he finishes university, he plans to help me move to the UK so we can finally live together.

I want to be able to look at things the same way, but honestly, I'm struggling with the thought of going 4 months without seeing him.

Even though we talk every day and our relationship is otherwise healthy, I'm worried that such long gaps between visits might eventually affect our connection or make us feel more distant.

For those of you in long-distance relationships who only get to see your partner rarely, how do you cope with it?

Does having such long gaps between visits affect your bond over time, or have you found ways to maintain the same level of closeness?

I'd also love to hear from couples who used to see each other more frequently but had to reduce their visits because of university, finances, or other circumstances.

I know every relationship is different, but hearing about other people's experiences would really help me feel less anxious about this. ❤️