Or at least taken into account, you know?

Not talking about the FA community here, but the people in my "real life". The FA subs and the FAW Discord are literally the only places in which I have found people who don't outright dismiss my feelings or belittle my expriences. Naturally, because people in these places know - you know, dear reader and fellow FAW - what it's like.

Offline it's completely different. What I would give for these people to not immediately jump into judging me, shaming me, trying to shut me up, making it all about themselves, or spouting platitudes? What if they just nodded and said emphatetically:

"I hear you. Yes, your situation sucks and you have the right to feel bad and grieve. You don't have to pretend to be happy and that everything is OK."

Just writing this out makes my eyes watery, because I know I'll never hear such words coming out of their mouths.

I'm honestly not even surprised at this point. I was at a marathon expo two weekends ago and I stopped to check out one of the booths. I did notice a cute guy there promoting the brand but I didn't bother thinking anything more about it. Surprisingly, he actually started talking to me first, asking about what event I was running in and what city I'm from. We chatted for a while and he asked me questions about my background (I'm kind of ethnically ambiguous) and what I do for work. I wanted to try the product, which was a heated back pad with a belt, so he even got really close to put it around my waist.

Before I left, he asked me for my Instagram and we followed each other. The next day he messaged me to ask if we could get a drink together. I think I either responded too quickly or he saw something he didn't like on my Instagram. I do have a few barefaced (no makeup) photos. Anyway, we exchanged only 3-4 messages back and forth without setting a date and he just stopped responding.

I should be used to it by now but I thought this time would be different because we met in person and not on an app. But I've come to realize that it's not easy to escape FA status and after 27 years I should probably just accept it and stop getting my hopes up.

No matter how hard I try to gaslight myself into thinking that maybe its okay, lots of other women go through this too, I have to be real with myself because its NOT. Most women do not have to work extremely hard to the extent that I do for someone to be interested in them and ask them out.

They can go to events, make friends, meet new people, and at least one of them will show interest. They can go to the store, just be browsing things, and a conversation with a stranger will turn into something more. They can start new hobbies and go and do them and people will be drawn to them. They can literally just go to the gym, and someone will develop a gym crush and ask them out.

They do not need to weaponize dating, build strategies for it, force themselves to put themselves out there in weird and random ways to be seen by new people, and work extremely hard for it. Its just something that comes naturally as they go about their daily lives. Sometimes to the point where they have to constantly be beating away others with a stick because they already have an SO

I even stumbled across a post where these women were discussing how they often cannot keep male friends because it always develops into the friend wanting them romantically. Some of them even saying how it has never not happened with male friends because they always have ulterior motives or humblebragging that they're jealous of women who this never happens to and stuff.

I mean, I understand that it must be frustrating to try to make a friend and they all just want to date you, but imagine things from my perspective. I have ZERO male friends. At least not irl. I have a few I met here on reddit, but most dont really know what I look like since the few that did see what I looked like ghosted promptly afterwards. (I also don't really have any female friends but that's another story).

But anyways, I've gone to tons of events throughout the years in high school, undergrad, and now as currently a grad student. I've done tons of things to meet guys via volunteering, classes, social events, leadership opportunities, etc. I used to be extremely invovled too because at one point I wanted to go to medical school which is very selective, so I was trying to build up my resume and do a lot of activities to be a top candidate to get in. And ALL of them either have zero interest in even treating me like a human being right off the bat, and the few who are nice, talk to me and then ghost as soon as the class or whatever is over. Some have even platonically given me their numbers, and when I try to reach out EVERY single one, and I mean ALL of them, have ghosted. Immediately. Not even one reply back so I know I messaged the right number. Just instantly nothing. If I were pretty, they'd be sitting around their phones waiting, maybe even excitedly or even obsessively, waiting for me to talk to them.

On dating apps, I get maybe 3-5 likes, sometimes less depending on the app, and all of them either dont reply at all, ghost after one message, or give one word responses. Meanwhile, I hear of other women getting 50-100+ and guys immediately taking the reigns and being even pushy when they don't get fast responses because they're so interested and hopeful. No one is interested and hopeful in talking to me when there's a cute blonde they could be talking to instead

It's just frustrating because I don't really feel like a woman due to all of this. More like an alien watching from the sidelines as everyone else has fun.

TW/:Mentions of self harm

I’m (25) and absolutely pathetic… 25 years old barely any dating experience while my friend who is 21 already on her 3rd casual relationship with another the 3rd co-worker at our job… like how does one not even kill themselves st this point…

We’re close friends and I saw this from a mile away with how close she was getting to the co-worker (despite what she was saying about said co workers looks) I just didn’t expect everything to transpire in the 3 weeks I took from work. Now I come back and she’s in her 3rd casual relationship and I can’t even get a man to consider me as a girlfriend let alone pretty enough to look at.

It’s pathetic and I’m disgusting and pathetic fawning over this dude I can’t even have for the 2nd fucking time and she’s already on her 3rd causal relationship. Like it just gets to a point where one has to accept they’re the clown in their friendship or something I don’t even know.

What does on even do at this point and how does one not even blow their shit clean off at this point?

Do you feel comfortable getting close to people? Physically and mentally. Are you direct? Do you say yes a lot to new experiences? Are you avoidant? No? Do you go out of your way to seek people out? Do you go out of your way to avoid them? Question everything. Now, do you truly put yourself in positions to say yes to fun things as much as possible? and I don’t mean at work. Do you like/love the way you look? Are you shamelessly yourself? Highlight your assets. Are you in a place where you’re accepted? If not do everything you can to find it. Do you accept yourself first? Master detachment with others, but make an effort/attempt. Do you accept yourself? I had the opportunity to ask a random guy shamelessly everything he noticed about me and how I interacted with the world one night. He said I went for people who were safe. I don’t know what that means but yeah. This is everything he told me above, so from me to all of us. Key words and phrases to know, limerence, love bombing, knowing exactly what you want, trying out new things.

Running to a guy for me is running from my problems. Anyways he gave me advice for a crush I had on someone. He said I’d know if he likes me, but I have to make some sort of move. So wish me luck. This is going to be the 2nd longest crush of my life because we hardly see each other so unless I’m hella direct I don’t know if it’ll work. Hopefully this helps! Still proudly FAW because we’re avoiding a lot of b.s not going to lie, but being wanted is cool but only in addition to a fulfilled life. My take. I just want to be either liked back or rejected I hate waiting more than rejection.

Like shows where there’s most male main characters that aren’t human (TMNT, Biker Mice From Mars) and there always the “cool girl” who one of the guys is crushing on or she’s just attractive to all of them to a certain degree(brother, sister dynamic). And it annoys me to see how head over heels the male character is for her. And of course she’s too cool to worry about their attraction to her. Shes just so chill and denies the guy, which makes her sexier and him want her even more. Like she doesn’t even deserve him all the tender passionate emotion he gives her and she just takes it for granted because “she’s different.”

It’s like i see that in real life all the time and it just reminds me of crushes id have but i was never their type but it especially reminds me of my recent crush where he obviously liked “cool” girls and im not that “cool” or pretty. I get triggered and it’s fucking irritates me when I want to get into the show but that trope just reminds me that I’ll never be the one guys want.

As for songs, i feel like I can never see myself in the music I listen to because the guys are obviously talking about a size 6, not 16. Someone they can obviously carry around and pick up and love on unconditionally.

It sucks and I feel like I can’t enjoy anything nowadays.

There was a comment or two that I saw elsewhere on Reddit how making friends is not a concern for them anymore since they have their family. That makes me feel like roadkill. It means that people like me are not important once they have their family. If that is the case, how can single people expect to meet anyone if people don't want to be friends with them?

so i am a virgin and single since birth, for some context and I started using dating apps.

but I discovered most men on there are so low effort! or is it my problem? like I’ve gone on 8-9dates with different people, and they either want something casual or didn’t want to pay for anything like split bills…idk is that normal?

like yesterday I met a dude, he asked me out and he was 30 minutes late at least…and no plans and we just walked around, then find a place for coffee. he asked me do you want me to pay for your coffee? and I said no I’m okay. i am quite angry about this and I am wondering if I should delete him. and the last dude paid for drinks but ask if I want to go to his house…

I don’t know if it’s like considered normal behaviour these days, or it’s just I met lousy people. I am not socially active and most of my friends are single, so it’s hard for me to meet people in real life.

I am going to quit dating now. it‘s so disappointing

I just deleted bumble this morning. A guy asked me if I want to hangout and have dinner. The conversation is going okay, and he said he never let girls pay for stuff. Which is sweet right? Then he said he want something causal and asked if I want to go to his hotel. (I haven’t met him yet what the fuck).

I’m literally doing nothing. No plans whatsoever. I have to work on Halloween. I thought about buying a costume because my job lets us wear costumes for Halloween. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to. Idk what I want to be. It’s probably too late now. If I buy a costume online it will most likely get here after Halloween. I have an old Wednesday Adam’s costume from last year. But that’s not who I really want to be. Maybe I’ll just watch a few horror movies and that’s it.

I wish I had a friend group that I could hang out with. We would all wear costumes together and just mess around in the neighborhood. Or go to an actual house party. The only parties I go to are for church on youth nights.

always having to have my shields up in case i see anything related to love or companionship nonstop coping, i just feel so tired from it all, tired of trying to socialize tired of the endless power dynamics, perpetual introductions and meaningless tests. i would even like to honestly try few more times but i feel like i cant the baggage is too heavy on my shoulders, i gave everything i had now im hollow, and there is no break to it. atp im really convinced i should not exist at all like its anomaly in universe that im here.

i repulse people mentally and physicially, walking life alone is really such a burden. i just wanna brake from it all and go somewhere far away but there is no hiding entire globe run on love, there is no escape besides you know.

and its soon gonna be another year that passed testing my limits and my depths

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

No amount of scrolling could ever help me remove this desire for human connection.

I was listening to a song where the singer was talking about his ex and describing her in the most incredible, extravagant terms. He compared her to “a creature that wasn’t even human” because she was supposedly so enchanting and captivating. Wow. I’m genuinely stunned by the power some women seem to have over men.

And I can’t even rationalize it by telling myself, “Well, it’s not all women,” because even my own best friend in middle school used to show me the poems her boyfriend wrote for her, comparing her to the sun and the moon.
I barely have to scroll through two TikToks before I come across a woman showing off the enormous bouquet of roses and love letter she received from a man she’s only known for a few days, yet who is already showering her with affection.

Sometimes, when I read the things men say about certain women, all those incredibly romantic compliments and grand declarations, I feel almost dizzy. It’s like women are works of art, beings who inspire admiration and love so effortlessly. Everyone loves women, everyone’s eyes are on women. It feels as though so many women have this incredibly powerful magnetic pull, with countless people orbiting around them and looking up to them.

I feel like I’m not even the same species as these women. I don’t feel like a woman. Nothing about the general female experience resonates with my own life. And it hurts so much.
There was a girl in high school whom I was always jealous of. Three separate times, we were interested in the same guys, and all three times, they chose her over me.
We had the same general physical type: brunette with blue eyes, which is probably why we attracted the same guys. But I was just the girl they added on Instagram and occasionally talked to, nothing more. Meanwhile, I would develop genuine crushes on them in silence.
She, on the other hand, was the FIRST LOVE of all THREE of them.
One of those guys even played me a song he had written about her after they broke up.
My heart was shattered forever.
How can you possibly doubt yourself when you’ve been three different boys’ first love, when all three were deeply in love with you, and one of them literally wrote a SONG about you?!
We’re genuinely not living in the same reality.
And it makes me so angry when girls like that get praised for their “self-confidence.” LOL. What self-confidence are we even talking about? When you’ve been loved your entire life, confidence comes naturally. You don’t need to “work on yourself” or follow some personal development strategy or whatever.
Self-confidence comes naturally from the positive reinforcement you receive when you’ve been loved and desired from a young age.
Life is unfair.

So, right now I'm in grad school and I'm lucky enough to be able to live in an apartment with my brother who attends the same university. That hasn't been bad since he's currently single due to focusing on his work and trying to graduate. But it was pretty shit when he used to be dating and would have his gf over and stuff. But rn he's focused on being done with his degree so he can get a job afterwards, so thankfully, he doesn't really bring many people over. Although I do feel really shitty since he's constantly going fun places with his friends/classmates while I have zero friends, but that's another story.

Anyways, hes graduating soon and I'll have to find a new apartment or place to live in since I can't afford to rent a place myself. And I'll have to go back to how it was before I started living with my brother. And I HATED living with other girls since they'd always have bfs while I had no one. And it would be so awkward when I'd walk in the door and one of their bfs was there, or I could hear them outside my room and I'd have to wait until they went away before I could do anything like leave my room. Especially when having multiple roommates, and literally ALL of them would have a SO, and I'd always be the only single one and it made me feel horrible. Wishing I could just be normal like them. Hearing them giggling and talking in the kitchen or watching a movie in the living room while I was alone and had no one. And I can't believe I'll have to go back that.

If I were normal and was dating someone, then I could just split rent with him and I'd be fine. But NOPE, I'm too undesirable and unwanted for that to happen, so I'm just going to either have to a) deal with being the ugly roommate again and watch as those I live with have happy lives I'll never have or b) try to scrape up the money and try to find somewhere to live alone. But option b will still be hard since I'll have to go home every day to an empty dark apartment with no one there.

How do you guys feel about glow ups? I’m always in between :

"okay I can’t spend the rest of my life hating myself"

and

"what if it’s all useless and I fail, then im still undesirable + extra broke?"

Skincare : expensive
Working out: time consuming and the WORST OF IT ALL : temporary!!!!!

Nobody talks about how when you’re born with a shitty body you have to subscribe to the gym for ever.
if I could afford plastic surgery i’d get that ASAP!

Im always doing what it takes, but whenever results take their sweet time coming in, I always think of it probably being all for nothing… :(

Because again, workouts and skincare only get you so far, you still have the same body type and face.

So I wonder if my "natural maximum" is still ugly, I guess I’ll have to reach it to know, while others can be born with fantastic looks and never worry about this shit.

I'm not sure if this belongs more in the social anxiety sub, but I feel more comfortable posting here.

Does anyone else in their mid-thirties feel like people react more negatively to their social anxiety the older they get?

Like when you're younger being shy or socially awkward seems to be more acceptable, maybe even seen as "quirky"? But as you get older people seem to have less patience for it?

Especially if you're also unattractive.

I've had a really rough 2026. Literally everyone in my immediate family except for me and my nephews has been in the hospital at some point this year. I've developed insomnia and can't sleep without medication anymore. My weight has been fluctuating and I'm currently dealing with stress related hair loss. My face looks tired, bloated and just... old. I feel like I've aged several years in a matter of months.

I've had a couple of medical appointments recently and literally every single one of them has been a bad experience.

I know I'm a very awkward person. I talk too fast when I'm nervous, sometimes miss social cues or give answers that don't quite fit the question. And I feel like it's only gotten worse lately.

It doesn't help that these appointments were about a very sensitive and personal issue. I'm trying to have a scarred area removed, but I keep hitting walls.

My last appointment was probably the worst. For the first time a doctor kept steering the conversation toward therapy instead of discussing the actual treatment options. All because of something that happened once 17 years ago.

I could practically feel the moment he decided that what I really needed was therapy to learn to accept the scars rather than a discussion about whether removing them was possible. After that it felt like he wasn't interested in discussing it any further.

That's just one example, but lately I've increasingly felt like the older I get the less seriously people take me. As if being socially awkward becomes less forgivable with age, especially when you don't have the looks to make up for it.

I feel like I'm becoming more off-putting to people just by existing the way I do.

Maybe this is just a vent. I don't even know what I'm hoping to achieve by posting this. But I guess it would be a bit of a relief to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Has anyone else noticed something similar as they've gotten older?

I think I've ranted about this before a while back. It just gets to a point 🥲 I try to empathize with my friends but it feels like a jab in the heart every time I hear one of them say "I've been single for months" or "I'm gonna die alone" when they've literally been in several relationships. They act so miserable the moment they get broken up with and treat their singleness like a life sentence right in front of my face. I know they don't mean anything by it but it rubs off on me the wrong way when they know I've literally never been in a relationship before. And this current friend of mine keeps talking about all his online talking stages while crying about being single after getting out of a 3-year relationship. It's kinda driving me nuts especially since that's all he talks to me about

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

I had a woman 48 years old whom I chatted with daily for two months. She was single but has been in several relationships and married before. She told me she was looking for a partner because she doesn't want to work (well she wasn't working anyways because she lived with parents).

But she has found someone now and sends one word replies once in awhile and when I asked her how come we can't talk any more just because you found someone? She called me clingy and rude and blocked me. I guess there's no difference because she wasn't talking anyways but damn. That stung.

I’m tired of being so hideous. I’m tired of being so ugly that I can’t even feel okay about myself. I’m tired of being single. I want someone in my life. It’s so much harder when you’re ugly. Relationships between men and women feel impossible. I’m too mentally unwell to manage to find someone in real life.

I have a degree, but I’m disabled. I’ve been officially recognized as disabled, and I can’t work. I’d like to work, but I’m so bored. I’m tired of not having a man in my life and of thinking I’m ugly whenever I look in the mirror. I hate mirrors. I feel miserable.

I told a woman today that I'm struggling with motivation because I don't have friends. She said, and I quote, I'm in the exact same situation. I have a husband and kids but I only see my friends once or twice a week, so I'm very isolated. I mean I'm sure she would like to see her friends more, but how is that the same as not having friends at all?

My entire life, I’ve always had friends who were NEVER and when I say never it’s NEVER, single. AND when I say my whole life I mean since PRIMARY SCHOOL!!!

I guess I just attract girls who attract boys, lol.

Anyway, I think my perception of life is just so different because the women who surrounded me were always in relationships, so naturally, My life was in a way built around the lack of it.

I’m so jealous of anybody with FAW friends, venting sessions must be awesome, lol.

I think if I had grown up around women who didn’t constantly center men and replaced me for them, I wouldn’t have bothered too much looking for my own “center of gravity and friend replacer” boyfriend.

How many times have I seen a thread in which the OP has lamented how they haven't been on a date, haven't kissed, haven't been in a relationship, or haven't been married, and the answer is,

-Don't worry, I didn't get married until I was 35!

-I was late too! I didn't have my first BF until I was 21!

-I hear you! My first date was when I was 30!

-I'm a latecomer too! I didn't have a first kiss until 25!

I'm like...15 to 20 years OLDER than most of those people and I have had NONE of those things.

It's STILL OK, however, to feel the way you do even if you are one of those ages. However, it's so hard to describe how it feels when you are miles beyond what those people's ages are.