does ryan murphy think old men banging barely legal twinks are iconic??? Nobody but perverts were laughing at that scene.

We've seen references to every other season. Have those 2 been referenced or have I missed it? I would say if there's no need for the story, don't bother, but they might as well, because nothing in this season makes any damn sense anyway

A lot of fans have said you need to "switch your brain off" to enjoy the season. I'm sorry, but that approach doesn't work for me. I would much rather grasp for elaborate fan-theories than simply accept that continuity doesn't matter. I realise it's probably not worth the effort of trying to plug gaping plotholes, but I much prefer it to both enjoying something brainlessly, and to being angry that nothing makes sense. And hey, maybe the finale clears some things up, but I'm not counting on it.

So, what fan-theories have you encountered or come up with to try and make sense of the nonsense that is 13?

Here's one: Fionna and Constance aged up supernaturally while they were very young, like other Satanspawn we've seen. In Fionna's case, the Coven covered it up - her birthyear of 1950 probably comes from a forged birth certificate. She also probably aged up twice, the first time being to about the age of 8-years old, the apparent "age" she was when her (adoptive) mother gave her the necklace, and the second time to the young adult she was before becoming Supreme (she became Supreme in 1971, at the apparent age of 21, but the actual age of between 5-7, around the same true age as Michael in Apocalypse. Youngest ever Supreme indeed.). The most horrifying consequence of this aging up scenario lies with Constance, as she (some time after aging up) had her first child at like 5.

Another one: the surviving gay male member of SCUM stole the Zodiac suit and continued the murders as a copycat killer. It's him in the Devil's Night club, not Butchy May (who originally wore the suit in Cult).

And another: Mallory's time travelling changed the paths of some characters, most notably Richard Ramirez, who formerly died in prison, but who in the new timeline escaped and became imprisoned at Camp Redwood instead. However, on Halloweens Satan delayed his continual resurrection for a day, allowing him to visit the Hotel Cortez as a ghost. Then, around when Satan resurrected the other Devil’s Night members, Ramirez escaped from Camp Redwood (possibly with the help of March and the other resurrected killers).

And one more: the demon that possessed Sister Mary was not in fact Satan himself, but a lesser demon sent by Satan. This would probably be a retcon.

Was it properly explained? I've struggled to pay attention this season so I could of missed it.

As in, why couldn't they just use a knife or a gun on his sleeping old body and he'd lose the bet with god? or teleport into his room with a grenade then yeet outta there. If the bet was that his mortal body needs to live till 100 years old, that would imply he has flesh and blood, same as every other human.

Or are the witches attempting to properly neutralise him by keeping him an eternal baby because he'll just go back to his regular 9 to 5 after dying as a human?

The whole "he'll rule hell, heaven, and earth if he lives to 100" feels like killing a human body ASAP should be priority number one instead of fucking around. Also why would the baby thing work? If the devil can show up as his handsome immortal self while an incapacitated old man, could he still theoriatically do that as a baby?

Also, I feel like destroying the devil, maybe in a philosophical sense, is a bad idea because the earth needs balance of good and evil. But I guess we don't know the ramifications of what killing the devil means in this universe.

Anyways, please let me know if I've missed some context.

Season 13 has just been bullshit and I just can’t follow along anymore. Bring on Kim K and whatever crappy nepo baby actor they can find, I quit.

I’ve been rewatching the show and this season has become my most rewatched I love it so much and find it pretty underrated. Has my favorite Evan Peters role in ahs

And I'm gonna do it by posting my personal rankings of the season. My divine Aries Energy is making an appearance tonight. On a scale: S+ for my number one favorite, S for close second places, A I loved, B is good, C is ehhh, D is nooooot great, and U for unfinished because reasons. Feel free to @ me so I can defend my position more fully. I will follow the letter grades with what I enjoyed, and what needed to be left behind.

Murder House: D. It's one of few I can say I genuinely didn't enjoy, and I attribute that to being the first season of a show that's the first of its kind. For my preferences, too often horror takes a backseat to drama, and an uninspired family drama where everyone hates each other at that. Setting was beautiful however.

Asylum: C. I loved Lana, the incomparable Ms Paulson really got to shine as a main character here. It's just... emotionally difficult to watch. It's bleak, sucking hopelessness, and just not something I personally can casually enjoy. I also feel it gets a pass on certain things that Hotel doesn't. Very unfair.

Coven: B. A nearly all female cast is something interesting, I think it passes that feminist test thingy. You have mother daughter relationships, sisters in arms, rivals, it's very stocked. I'll also say that (for a show made in 2013), it tackled racism to the best of its ability. The only reason it's not higher is because I've seen this season the most, and familiarity breeds contempt.

Freakshow: S. This show really skyrockets here. I'm not a crier, I don't just love characters casually, but this season was amazing. No notes.

Hotel: S. I said what I said. Yea, it's messy. It's convoluted and nearly all aesthetic, lots of style with very little substance. But it's a TV show, it's allowed to do that if it wants.

Roanoke: U. I had the flu and was watching it in bed, and I stopped watching when I got better. I do despise those shows it's trying to parody, but I liked what I saw.

Cult: C. It gets a bad rap, it's not terrible. It's engaging enough. It's also rare because basically every event is just people being people.

Apocalypse: B. Also a bad rap. But Cody Fern chewed up the scenery and spat it in our mouths. It. Was. Glorious. My only gripe is the bunker scenes take a while to connect.

1984: A. Very fun, very campy. A true love letter to the slasher genre.

Red Tide: D. I disliked it for two reasons: 1, it wasn't the sirens that we were baited with. I love mermaids and I don't fuck around. 2, it felt like a rehash of vampires because Hotel isn't as beloved as the creators wanted. It DID however have a haunting premise with the pills. D is for derivative.

Death Valley: U. It's four episodes stemming from the most uninteresting part of Asylum. We could have gotten more and better. Plus, body horror freaks me out. I'll wait till my stomach is stronger to handle The Thing having offspring.

NYC: S+. Not just horror. But gay horror. It was everything I dreamed of in those two words alone. Gino & Patrick are a much more engaging couple than Ben & Vivian. A metric ton of queer actors in a wide variety of roles. I was living.

Delicate: U. I'll give it another shot purely because everyone hates Kim K in it, and she makes me laugh. I will say what I've seen is a bit of a drag. I feel like Mr Murphy can do better than just a rehash of Rosemary's Baby. But I'd try it again.

13: U. Of course nobody's finished it yet. Mr Pollari was a snore at first. But hey, evil men are hot, I have a type. It is... confusing. I'm not fond of the AI allegations, or that I can believe them. But everyone hated Apocalypse when it came out, and look where we are.

Future season guessing: I'm really hoping for the sirens. And werewolves that run a speakeasy in 1931. Maybe a season about the horsemen if we have to have another world ending.

I just stopped watching after Cult. I knew it was over for me with Hotel (which had great atmosphere, characters, story but was just too damned slow. It was like being in purgatory myself). I stuck around for two more seasons hoping against hopes (I didn't enjoy Cult or Roanoke both of which were massive missed opportunities).

But 13 is actually pretty enjoyable. Jessica Lange, Angela Bassett, Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson all doing great work (most of the cast is excellent). Joey Polari (what a name to have as a gay man) is milquetoast but I suppose that's what he's meant to be. He's not very interesting to watch, doesn't have much range). Papa Legba is a huge disappointment (small role I know, but it's the sprinkles that make the dessert) RIP Lance Riddick, you legend!

And did I forget to mention what an absolute phenomenon Jessica Lange is... but then again she could do a toothpaste commercial and be mesmerising. How she manages to play each woman so differently and yet there's the same anguish, loneliness, regret tying them all together. It's a masterclass that can't be taught.

The main disappointment is the short episodes. Hotel was too slow, this is too rushed. The conversation between Fiona and Cordelia after her resurrection was just spellbinding. Real magic without special effects. The show needed a lot more of that. The messy human stuff in-between the magic and camp and special effects.

Finally, Lucifer... it's the most boring, understated, bland interpretation I've ever seen. With that small role you could scene steal from even Ms Lange. It's actually begging for it in the "here's what I want the world to look like Mr Satan" scene. He could have gone so many ways with it, camp, menacing, cruel, dominating seductive, ham... or all of the above. There are plenty of models that have made decent actors. Couldn't they have found just one?

But overall, this is the AHS that I've been waiting to come back.

Knotty Pine forever!!!!

I must say despite weeks of bad acting, many plot holes and absolutely zero story development for the most part, I'm actually looking forward to seeing John Waters and all i need is for it to be revealed he's the true villain or something

The man is such Gold in everything he does. One of the few positives I can actually think of in season 13

Ok so they killed Richard Ramirez in this season? lol
like how does that work if he came back in Hotel during devils night? currently on EP 4 and i was shocked to see Jingles kill him.

I really wanted to see more of her, I actually think she gave pretty good performance for little time she had and I really felt so terrible for her, Elizabeth Short "Black Dahlia" case was always horrible to me and always felt so bad for this poor woman, because of the awful way some monster killed her and profaned her body after but also because of how media painted her in such a disgusting, fake, unethical, and fabricated way. I actually thought before the season premiered, that they gonna actually give more spotlight to her and Mena this time and of course like with every other "13" thing, it was a dissapointment, though I did like at least a little more screen time she had and she made me feel genuinely sad and heartbroken for her. I really wish Mena got bigger role in some future season, she is genuinely such a good actress, I LOVED HER in American Beauty (with also phenomenal Wes Bentley performance) and in couple of others really good and fun roles!

So if Madison gets a warlock for IVF, why didn't Cecelia have one in "Coven"? AND what timeline are we in? Because the "devils son" started apocalypse. But now we have a different one that seems to take place after "Apocalypse"?! Anyway, the best scene(s) thus far is Myrtle, and I did enjoy the monologue from Madison/Emma Roberts about us being in our 30s now....

Michael was born in 2011 (when murder house was released) and apocalypse is in 2018, if Michael grew normally he'd be seven years old. They let the seven year old become one of the leaders during nuclear apocalypse. Okay.

Yeah, season 2 is the best season! I’m currently on episode 7, I’ve seen this season maybe 4-5 times already, and I just can’t get enough of it. The acting, the storylines, how it’s filmed! You actually feel bad for all the people who get tortured and killed, you are disgusted by the killers and their actions. Even the intro is on another level.
I’ve seen people complain that aliens don’t make sense, but I completely disagree! I think aliens play huge roles in the story, and we didn’t need full on explanation about why they were doing it.

Everyone’s acting is so good, but Lily Rabe is my favorite, she is fantastic as devil!

Mark my words: I’m convinced this entire new season is just one terrible John Waters movie. That would explain why everyone’s acting is so ridiculously over the top, why everyone’s somehow related (like some trashy soap opera), and why the storylines are full of plot holes and loose ends. It also explains that god-awful lighting filter and all those painfully forced meme catch-phrases and callbacks to previous seasons.

So this season has been utter dogshit (and if you like it, fine. Just don’t reply with your reasoning bc idgaf).

I’ve watched every season since the first and can confidently say 13 will be my last (unless 14 gets insanely high praise). I spent some time outlining how I would’ve handled this season and I’m just curious to know what y’all think.

AHS: ARMAGEDDON

The season would be inspired by Stephen King’s The Stand. It would take place across the USA and revisit/acknowledge every season since Murder House. This would follow the events of Apocalypse (implying all the dead witches are back). Satan would be the main villain.

• Cordelia gets a disturbing vision from Fiona in Hell, warning her about Satan’s arrival. Cordelia finds out the rest of the Coven have had the same disturbing vision, except for Mallory. Cordelia decides to take Queenie, Madison, Myrtle, and Mallory to Roanoke in order to communicate with Scathach, the First Supreme. They leave Misty Day, Nan, and Zoe behind with the rest of the Coven.

• Cordelia and her gang arrive at the Roanoke house and use a spell to communicate with Scathach (they purposefully go when the Blood moon is inactive, knowing what happens). Scathach tells them that Satan is pissed bc all his offspring keep getting murdered. She also shows them the future, in which Hell takes over Earth. Scathach states that the only way to prevent this is to close all the Hellmouths in America and sever Satan’s connection to the world. This will make him mortal and powerless.

• Constance Langdon (who is not dead here) meets the new Murder House resident: Mr. Nas, a handsome and charming gentleman. Curiously, none of the spirits in MH bother him, leading Constance to wonder why. That’s when he shows her his true identity as Satan and even proves it by escorting ALL (not just Tate and Addy) of her children out of the Murder House. She and her family pledge their loyalty.

• Mallory makes a confession. Ever since she killed Michael in Apocalypse, she’s been using her time travel powers to go back and murder any and all Antichrists that have ever been born (including the one introduced at the end of Apocalypse). She didn’t realize that Satan knew of all this as time travel doesn’t erase his memories.

• Cordelia and her gang work to close the Hellmouth at Roanoke. Satan gets wind of this and, angered, forces a Blood Moon to occur. The Roanoke spirits come out and attack the Coven, along with Scathach, who goes feral during the Blood Moon. They lose Mallory and her OP powers.

• Satan, feeling salty, sends James Patrick March, Twisty, The Ten Commandments Killer, Margaret Atwood, and Bloodyface to attack Miss Robicheaux’s Academy while Cordelia is away. They massacre everyone except Misty and Zoe by the time Cordelia and the others return.

• The Coven split up across America to visit and seal each Hellmouth. Meanwhile, Satan wants to unlock all the Hellmouths.

• There would be two factions: The Coven and its supporters, and Satan and his followers. They race to the Hellmouths.

• Meanwhile, chaos erupts all over California as Satan has forced open the Murder House, Hotel Cortez, and Camp Redwood Hellmouths, letting the spirits run amok.

• Halfway through the season, it seems that the Coven may win. That is until Satan infiltrates a White House Press Meeting discussing the California chaos, interrupting the President. He reveals to the world that he is Satan and that Paradise is coming to those that pledge their allegiance to him. He then causes the President’s head to explode on live TV, effectively taking over the White House.

• Cordelia and the witches reveal their existence worldwide in order to fight against Satan, against the Warlock’s wishes. The Warlocks pledge to Satan.

• Satan gains power not just from the Hellmouths, but from faith and fear. The more people believe and fear him, the more powerful he becomes. Civil war erupts across America, now wrestling with the fact that Satan is real and what to do about it.

• Plot twist with Fiona: Turns out her own warning caused this mess in the first place. She knew that Cordelia messing with the Hellmouths would piss Satan off, along with the death of all his offspring, and that Hell would be unleashed. She did this so that she would be freed from Hell and not have to look at Knotty Pine ever again.

-

This is what I got so far, sorry if it’s too long. I DID NOT USE AI, I just took an edible and felt the need to write this out. Curious to know what others think.

I’ve been watching American Horror Story since Murder House, and I genuinely cannot believe how far this franchise has fallen. Season 13 might be one of the laziest, most creatively bankrupt installments Ryan Murphy has ever produced.

Let’s be clear: bringing back Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, and other beloved cast members doesn’t automatically make something good. Nostalgia is not a substitute for competent storytelling.

The pacing is atrocious. The episodes are ridiculously short, yet somehow manage to feel painfully long. The dialogue is repetitive, the plot is unnecessarily convoluted, and the constant callbacks to previous seasons feel like desperate attempts to distract viewers from the fact that there’s barely a coherent story underneath.

And can we talk about how utterly wasted this cast feels? You have some genuinely phenomenal actors returning to roles that helped define this franchise, only to give them material that feels like mediocre fan fiction.

What makes this especially frustrating is that earlier seasons actually understood how to build suspense, develop characters, and create genuinely disturbing atmospheres. Now we get endless cameos, recycled ideas, and the expectation that audiences will applaud simply because someone familiar walks onto the screen.

Ryan Murphy seems more interested in reminding us how great AHS used to be than actually making it great again.

At this point, Season 13 feels less like a celebration of the franchise and more like an expensive reminder that its creative glory days are behind it.

The finale hasn’t even aired yet, but I seriously doubt one episode can rescue this mess.

Am I the only one who thinks Season 13 is genuinely awful, or are people just afraid to criticize it because Jessica Lange is back?

like in season 13, she keep talking about how that spectacle was bad and that she came back for nothing, and it sounds like it's what real Jessica Lange would think while acting for the season.

Especially after having to character assassinate her characters for money, like she probably doesn't care but I'm glad she protected Elsa, her favorite character from the character assassination at the very least.

this is SHITE !!!

The good thing about 13 is Hotel was NOT dragged into this mess

Technically JPM and devil’s night (and Sally!) was in it but the main thing is for the most part Hotel has not had anything within the season ruined (like Constance and Fiona being twins changes their backstories and personalities when watching Murder House or Coven, but Sally dying in 13 doesn’t really change anything about her character in Hotel) When 13 was being promoted and they were rolling out the casting announcements I was begging for a return to the Cortez just so I could see that gorgeous hotel again and revisit all my fav characters. When I saw not only March but Sally was also returning I was super excited because I thought maybe we would have some Hotel episodes kinda like Return to Murder House

Now I’m so happy they didn’t bring it back. I can’t imagine seeing Liz Taylor and Iris come back just to be told they’re actually reincarnated supremes or some shit. Same with the Countess, I was praying for a Lady Gaga cameo but I’m so fucking relieved they didn’t go back and ruin everything.

What they did mess with pissed me off (Sally’s fate, and March’s to an extent, but Fiona’s episode was the only good thing to come out of this so I guess it was a necessary sacrifice). The devil’s night episodes were good but not enough for me to accept that March is outside of the hotel forever now (if he was actually killed by Fiona I’m not sure how that whole thing worked)

Freakshow is another fav of mine and by pure luck Elsa Mars was the only Jessica Lange character to be spared from this family reunion nonsense. But with how things are going I wouldn’t be suprised if in the finale we find out Elsa Mars is the one who adopted Constance or whatever

There are some scenes in 13 I find entertaining but I cannot believe this is what got rolled out. I was defending it up until these most recent 2 episodes, but I genuinely don’t have any hope for a good finale anymore. I just hope they stick to their current plot/characters without dragging anything else down

Seriously, what was the point of these two being in this season along with Twisty and Piggy Man? We got one episode left and they have done nothing the whole entire season besides taking Elizabeth Short down to the Hellmouth. We don’t even get to see them interact with young Mr. Nas at all and they basically just stood there whilst historical people were getting thrown into Hell 😭.

No mention of the fact that Kai murdered his sister which was set up by Ally, and Winter just seems to be okay with being around Kai? Also neither one ever mention Ally at all, despite her being the reason why both of them died in Cult. And Kai has his infamous blue hair back despite being shaved when Beverly killed him in Cult’s finale episode. This is what’s starting to make me think this season is an alternate universe or something too.

Sorry to be criticizing this season so much, but a lot of stuff about this season is starting to not make sense to me after looking deeper into this season. And I feel like there’s going to be A LOT of unanswered questions after the finale because we haven’t seen Kai, Winter, Twisty, and Piggy Man since earlier in the season. Not even Addie or Tate, Tate just constantly wears that damn rubber suit. It’s like what’s the point of these characters being here if they’re not going to do anything besides stand around and talk to each other whilst repeating once iconic lines, you know 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Season 13/low hanging fruit aside, are there scenes you simply cannot watch throughout the series (sans 13) for various reasons? Here are mine:

S3/Cult:

Madison’s assault at the frat house

the scenes with Kyle and his mom

Honorable mention to Delphine’s cruelty scenes

S4/Freak Show:

Meep being cornered in the jail cell

Ma Petite

S5/Hotel:

The scene with Jasper the dog and Holden

S6/Roanoke:

Certain scenes involving Lee with the Polk family

The influencer/podcasters scene on the poles

S7/Cult:

Nail gun

S8/Apocalypse:

Evan and Billy as Dumb and Dumber with robot Ms. Mead is so cringe I can’t bear to watch

We got 20 minutes left to explain the plot of this season. Why are Kai and Winter there, what about Twisty, will Constance get powers? Those 20 minute episodes were a mess. It only started getting interesting at episode 9 or something. I don't even care what will happen in the finale but it certainly won't fix this mess, unless Satan has a 10 minutes long monologue explaining everything

Credit: Liya (TikTok)

Guys, this is my theory on what’s actually happening after that Episode 12 ("Sisters in Arms") cliffhanger. I don't buy for a second that the Coven was actually defeated at The Apollyon—the ending and Marie Laveau’s entire plan were a total setup. Earlier in the episode, Madison specifically warned Ben DeSoto that if he could hear Satan's thoughts, Satan could probably hear his thoughts, too. Knowing Ben was an open channel to the Devil, Marie, Fiona, and Cordelia intentionally fed Ben a fake, overly straightforward ritual—the "reverse-aging soul-split" using Queenie's hands—fully expecting Satan (Mr. Nas), Tate, and Phibes to catch wind of it and spring an ambush. Cordelia and Queenie didn't fail; they willingly allowed themselves to "die" during that fight because dying was the only way to bypass Nas’s earthly defenses and launch a direct spiritual invasion into the Hellpit. Cordelia and Queenie are descending into Hell to rescue and unite with the 13 leading ladies who were sacrificed in Episode 4, assembling an ethereal army to attack Satan’s core power from the inside while his guard is completely down. Meanwhile, the de-aging magic wasn't meant to keep Satan as an eternal baby in a crib; it was secretly designed to force his primordial essence into the single viable egg Madison Montgomery harvested. As seen in the finale teaser where Madison is screaming in labor, she is actually giving birth to Satan's trapped, mortal vessel—leaving him stripped of his cosmic authority, locked into human infant form, and completely under the Coven’s control while Cordelia’s squad dismantles his underworld empire from below!