I am 34F. I met the grandson in a family I spend a lot of time with. He’s 24. He asked me to hang out and I went on a couple hikes with him. He now has a huge crush on me and is asking to hang out all the time.

I have a bit of a crush on him back, but I also just went through a breakup and am feeling some rebound energy. I’m finding myself wanting to spend time with him and I get a little flustered when he’s in the room.

This would all be fine, except his family talks, and they all know some of my friends. I know it would come out to all of them if I actually kissed him or had a fling with him. I can’t see myself in a serious relationship with him at all, so it would have to be established that this is a fling only… I’d be kind of embarrassed if everyone found out I had anything with him though, especially because I know I can’t be serious with him.

Should I just cut it off now?

I need help. I had a convo relating to this and she said to leave me if this happens but it makes me feel bad. However, she continuously talks about these topics which makes me feel bad. What do I do ?
I know we are young but still I just need help

Edit: I saw all of the comments and I want to say thank you to all. I don’t like the idea of marriage because most marriages in my family aren’t of love from love or anything but I will try to get a new outlook on marriage but I hope to stay with her because I’m too attached. Thank you to all of you random strangers on the internet

Sorry in advance for the long post. This is my first time posting.
My boyfriend and I will have been together for six years this December, and honestly, I don’t even know where to begin.
Some background on our sex life:
My boyfriend has struggled with his weight his entire life, and because of physical difficulties, sex has essentially been taken off the table. His explanation has always been that “his shit doesn’t work.”
At the beginning of our relationship, we tried to have sex, but it never really worked. He’s not particularly well-endowed, and between that and his difficulty maintaining an erection, things just weren’t happening. He thought he was succeeding at first, and I went along with it because I didn’t know how to handle the situation.
Eventually, we settled into foreplay, but even that fizzled out over time. As much as I love foreplay, sometimes you want the real thing. And putting in all that effort when things never went anywhere wasn’t exactly a fulfilling sex life.
I genuinely can’t remember the last time we had any meaningful physical intimacy. Occasionally, we’ll shower together and he’ll rub himself against my ass, but his erection doesn’t last long enough for anything to happen.
So, for the most part, our sex life has been nonexistent for years.
Now, some background on trust.
My ex-husband cheated on me constantly, starting right from the beginning of our relationship. Because of that history, I struggle with trust and can spiral when something doesn’t feel right.
I know that my past can affect how I interpret situations, and I’m not saying my current boyfriend is automatically guilty of anything because of what my ex did. But there have been a few situations in this relationship that have made it difficult for me to feel secure.
The first is how he acts around other women. He’s extremely flirty when we’re out, although he doesn’t seem to recognize it. We once went on a bingo date, and he spent practically the entire time flirting with another woman while I sat there feeling like I barely existed.
The second involves his ex-wife.
They ended their relationship on good terms and consider themselves good friends. She lives about five hours away, and he occasionally goes there to help with things.
One of the first times he visited, he stayed at her house. I had to fight every anxious thought in my head to be okay with that. The frustrating part is that he would never allow me the same freedom to visit my stepchildren from my previous marriage, let alone stay at my ex-husband’s house.
But I tried to trust him and respect their friendship.
After one of those visits, I eventually discovered that his ex-wife had become pregnant and subsequently lost the pregnancy. He had known about it for months but hadn’t told me. I only found out when he was spending a lot of time on his phone consoling her.
Considering that he had previously told me they wanted a baby but couldn’t have one, I found the whole situation difficult to process, especially given the timing and the fact that he had kept it from me.
Then there was another incident where we had a brief argument and broke up for about an hour. He was already sexting another woman. He had added her on Snapchat a few weeks before our argument.
All of these things have affected my ability to trust him, even though he doesn’t believe he’s done anything to warrant my concerns.
Our relationship also has very little room for me to express my feelings without him becoming defensive. That brings me to what happened most recently.
The toilet seat incident. Yes, you read that correctly.
My boyfriend had just returned from a six-day trip to visit his ex-wife and uncle. He was doing some paid work for both of them while he’s off work on leave.
When he got home, he told me he’d done something stupid and asked me to look at a mark near his penis.
He then proceeded to tell me that he’d squished his penis in a toilet seat and had sex with it.
A fucking toilet seat.
At first, I chuckled and asked if he’d done this at his uncle’s house.
Nope.
His ex-wife’s house.
My stomach immediately dropped. I swear I stopped breathing for a second. I just sat there trying to process what he’d told me.
Why a toilet seat? Why at her house? Where was she? How did this even happen?
I made a comment about the fact that it happened at his ex-wife’s house and tried to explain how uncomfortable it made me feel. Naturally, he became defensive.
His explanation was that he’d seen a woman with big boobs in a video, got horny, watched porn, and decided to have sex with a toilet seat.
I’m sorry, WHAT?
Even writing this, my stomach is in knots. I’ve barely slept since he told me.
And before anyone asks, no, I don’t understand the mechanics of how this worked, either. I’m still stuck on the fact that this happened at his ex-wife’s house.
But what hurts me most isn’t even the toilet seat itself.
It’s the fact that he struggles to maintain an erection with me, but apparently porn was enough to get him going for a fucking toilet.
I’ve tried suggesting that we watch porn together in the hope that it might help us reconnect sexually. That hasn’t worked.
He tells me that touching my boobs gets him hard. Okay, but it doesn’t last. And apparently, even a big truck with air brakes can get a reaction out of him.
Meanwhile, I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely desired by my own boyfriend.
I’m not the biggest woman in the world, but I’m certainly not a woman with huge breasts, either. And after years of having virtually no sex life, watching him apparently manage this with porn and a toilet has left me questioning myself in ways I really don’t want to.
I know an erection isn’t always a straightforward indicator of attraction. I understand that weight, physical health, psychological factors, and other issues can affect sexual function.
But how am I supposed to make sense of this when I’ve spent years feeling sexually rejected, and this is what I find out?
It’s humiliating, confusing, and incredibly hurtful.
And the worst part is that I can’t even talk to him about it.
If I try to explain how I feel, he’ll get defensive. Somehow, the conversation will turn into me blaming him for everything, and I’ll end up consoling him instead of having my own feelings acknowledged.
I’m exhausted by that cycle.
I do the housework, look after the animals, handle the responsibilities around our property, and take care of the things that need doing. I do the traditionally “wife” duties, as well as plenty of the traditionally “husband” duties.
He likes having a traditional wife, and although I’ve never been particularly traditional, I’ve tried to find a middle ground that works for us.
But sometimes I feel like that’s all I’m here for.
To cook, clean, keep everything running, look after the animals, and make his life easier.
Where is the affection? Where is the intimacy? Where are the compliments, the dates, the feeling that your partner genuinely wants to be with you?
I can’t remember the last time he spontaneously told me I looked beautiful or made me feel appreciated without me having to ask for it.
When I ask him what he loves about me, he can’t seem to give me an answer that makes me feel loved or valued.
I don’t feel desired. I don’t feel appreciated. And I don’t feel like I can communicate with him about any of it without paying for it emotionally afterward.
There are also double standards throughout our relationship. He can visit his ex-wife, but I can’t comfortably visit my own family without worrying about his reaction or threats involving our animals.
I’m constantly trying to keep the peace, and I’m getting to the point where I don’t even know what I’m trying to preserve anymore.
So why am I still here?
That’s the question I keep asking myself.
It’s not because I’m unaware that our relationship has serious problems. I’ve been through years of therapy. I’ve even been advised to consider a women’s shelter.
I’m not stupid, and I know I can’t make him change. I can’t force him to communicate with me, make him acknowledge how his actions affect me, or make his penis work.
But I’ve built a life here.
We have chickens, turkeys, ducks, dogs, and a cat. This is my home, and I don’t want to give up my animals or move into town just to get away from the situation.
I don’t want to lose the life I’ve built because my relationship isn’t working.
At the same time, I don’t know how much longer I can live like this.
I feel stuck between wanting to be loved by the person I’m with and knowing that I can’t make someone give me the love, affection, intimacy, and respect I need.
I don’t know whether I’m overreacting to the toilet seat incident because of my past, whether my concerns about his ex-wife are justified, or whether I’m finally reaching the point where years of unresolved hurt are catching up with me.
I just know that I’m exhausted, hurt, and confused.
Has anyone else been in a relationship where you feel like you’ve become more of a caretaker than a partner? How do you figure out whether there’s anything left to save when communication doesn’t work and you feel like you’ve already lost yourself in the process?
I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me to leave. I know that’s an option, and I know people will probably suggest it.
I’m trying to understand why I’m still holding on to a relationship where I feel so unloved, and how to figure out what to do next without giving up the entire life I’ve worked so hard to build.

I cant work and once i get disablity she’s gonna want most of the money from my checks for rent. I cant move out my health is too bad i’m 20F. I’m considering ceasing all healthcare so i never have to stress again

Hi, I’m 27 years old, and I’ve been married for six years. After experiencing two miscarriages before the eighth week of pregnancy during that time, I’m now 30 weeks pregnant.

My husband and I work for the same company. He works in operations, while I work in administration. Yesterday, I happened to catch a glimpse of a chat between him and our boss. She was telling him that his absence authorization form was ready and only needed to be signed.

At our company, we use a time clock to record our attendance. We both have our own vehicles because his job requires him to travel outside the office, while I work in the administrative department.

Two things immediately struck me as odd. First, why did he need an authorization for an unexcused absence? In other words, he hadn’t clocked in that day. Second, why had he asked our boss for this document when processing these types of requests is actually one of my responsibilities? I had even handled this paperwork for him before. These types of absences are limited each year.

Naturally, this made me overthink everything, so I checked his phone. Yes, I know that wasn’t right, but I think married women will understand that sometimes your peace of mind depends on not finding anything suspicious.

That’s when I discovered that all his conversations from Thursday—the day he had requested the absence authorization—had been deleted.

I felt a knot in my stomach, but I kept looking. I found a deleted message that said, “Don’t mention anything to \(my name\).”

I continued searching and came across a legal agreement in which he acknowledged that he had been involved in a car accident on Thursday morning and agreed to pay for all the damages sustained by the other person involved.

I felt like crying. On one hand, I understand that he might have done this because he didn’t want to worry me. But on the other hand, he has been acting extremely secretive and deliberately deleting conversations.

What hurts me is that just a month ago, I was the one who had a car accident, and the first thing I did was call him. So I can’t understand why he is going to such lengths to keep me from finding out what happened.

For context, he came home on Thursday in an Uber and told me that his car was at the repair shop because of a sensor issue. However, based on what I read, the car is actually a total loss.

It’s not about the material damage or the car itself. It’s about the fact that being involved in such a serious accident is not something I believe you should hide from your wife.

And honestly, he has done such a good job of keeping this from me that I can’t help wondering: if he was able to hide something this serious, what else could he have done without me ever knowing?

Hey all life is feeling bleak.

I used to dabble in so many hobbies and loved trying creative things but these past couple years I have no drive left in the tank.

And the root cause of all my feelings is AI at the moment.

It's undoubtedly the next step in technology but holy cow do I wish it never existed.

I'll give some examples -

I used to write a lot of songs with my guitar. And of course we as people love sharing stuff like that with others. But even if it is a truly authentic piece I wrote, there will always be a non zero chance somebody would think I used AI to help me write it :/ and that's a really shitty feeling.

I like writing too. Short stories mainly. A lot of times stuff I thought of in dreams I would write down before I forgot but I stopped doing that too recently. Things like text or writing is so easy to generate at the click of the button.

To add to the writing thing I stopped reading books too. (Especially with new books) I'm terrified at the thought that a random author I find turns out to be a bot and I'm just reading generative text instead of a person's imagination coming alive. How saddening. Seriously.

I tried my hand at coding and always thought a little side project of creating a game would be cool but lets state the obvious, there's not really a point in learning all that jargon when an AI is coding at light speeds. Why even pursue that anymore.

So lately I've been feeling a bit forced but am exploring more real tangible things I can do. Something I can put my mark on. I bought a camera recently and am trying out photography. I also thought of trying to paint.

Are there any other hobbies that people can't just say I possibly AI generated? This just sucks all around.

So for context me (17f) started talking to this person (23m) and I need advice because this is a weird age gap and I've been told it's illegal. I looked up online that it isn't illegal because the age of consent is 16 in my state, but it can look really frowned upon. So what do I do here.

Z

More than 10 years ago, my girlfriend from university left me for another guy.

After we broke up, we both moved on and dated other people. She stayed with that guy, eventually married him and had a daughter.

For me, I dated several women over the years, Some relationships lasted longer than others, but honestly I never felt anything as strong as what I felt for her.

I kept changing relationships, not because I wanted to hurt anyone, but because I just couldn't really fall in love with anyone the same way again.

I never married, no kid. I focus on my career as a data engineer and built a financially stable with comfortable life.

But the truth is, I never completely stopped loving her

Recently she contacted me again. She's divorced now and have a 1 year old daughter. She told me she want to get back together.

From what she told me, her ex husband was irresponsible and took advantage of her financially many times. Her financial situation is not really good right now and this is what makes me scare.

I still love her so much. But I keep thinking, why now ? why after everything went wrong with the guy she chose over me ??

Does she really love me or I'm just the safe option now because I have a stable life ?

And there's another thing I feel really bad to say. I hate her ex husband. Like seriously hate him

He's the guy she left me for. His face is probably one of the face I hate most in this world.

Her daughter is only 1 year old, and sometimes when I look at her, from certain angles she looks more like her dad than her mom and I hate that it reminds me of him.

I know its not the little girl's fault she did nothing wrong and I dont hate her. But I'm scared that I might never be able to seperate my feelings about her father from her.

Also if we get back together, her ex husband will probably still be in our life for many years because of their daughter. I dont know if I can handle that.

I'm worried about money too. I worked hard for my freedom and stable life. I dont want to end up paying for everything that her ex husband should be responsible for.

And honestly I'm afraid my family or friends will think I'm stupid. The guy who got dumped, and now taking her back and raising the other guy's child.

I already told her no many times to get off.

But everytime she contacts me, I become soft again. It's so hard to say no to someone you still love. My heart keeps telling me she's the one. My brain keeps telling me No

I'm so confused right now. I love her but I really dont want to be a stepfather. Especially when the child's father is someone I hate so much.

I dont know if I'm being selfish or just trying to protect myself.

So I want to ask people here

1.) Anyone ever got back with ex who left you for another guy ? Did you regret it later ?

2.) How do I know if she really loves me or just want financial security ?

3.) Can you really be a good stepfather if the child sometimes remind you of someone you hate ?

4.) How do people deal with their partner's ex husband when you hate him so much but still have to deal with him because of the child ?

5.) Has anyone been in this situation and actually ended up happy ?

6.) If I love her but I dont want to raise her daughter, should I just walk away?

I'm not blaming the kid. I know she deserves love and a good family. I just don't know if I can be that person for her.

I really dont know what to do anymore. I already rejected her many times but I keep changing my mind.

I feel like whatever I choose, I'm going to regret something.

TLDR:My first love left me for another guy over 10 years ago. We both moved on, but even after dating several women I never really loved anyone the same way. She married him, had a daughter (1year old) and now divorced. She's struggling financially and wants me back. I'm still single, financially stable and still love her. But I hate her ex husband, and sometimes her daughter looks just like him. I dont want to be a stepfather but I also cant let her go. My heart says yes, brain says no. I'm completely lost.

My work place recently had a pumpkin decorating contest for a Halloween event. This year I made slinky dog and was super proud of it.
My co-teacher and I won first place. My co-teacher did not help me with this, but it is still a win for our classroom. I am incredibly upset because we are getting $40 to the merch store.
An average shirt cost $24 and a hoodie/ sweatshirt around $60. What makes me most upset is that second place is getting FIVE extra hours on their paychecks and third place is getting a pizza party. They get at least $100+ plus and I get $40 | can only use in one place. I feel like a $40 gift card to anywhere would've been a little bit better. It feels like a slap in the face and like management is doing this to target me for some reason. I honestly don’t know what to do. I will say I’ve been in a low point in my mental health. I don’t know if it’s because of that and I’m just latching onto it. It feels silly to be upset about some pumpkins, but I was really proud of myself. It just hurts my feelings so bad. I feel bad for complaining because my friend is the one whose class is getting the pizza party. It feels completely ridiculous to be 22 years old upset about something so many people would say is not a big deal. Should I bring this up with my management ladies or not say anything about it? Should I also bring this up with my therapist to see if it’s part of something bigger?

My parents recently moved from the White Mountains down near the Smoky Mountains and I’d love more than anything to spend the holidays with them as they’re getting older and I haven’t spend the holidays with my family for a few years now as we’ve all moved away from each other and life has been life-ing. My bf (27M) and I (28M) have been together for 10+ years and have never officially & purposefully spent a meaningful holiday together; no integrated family Christmas or Thanksgivings, no quick visits for Easter or Independence Day, so now that my parents are much MUCH further than where my family, BF & I grew up, we have a lot more planning to do than just a day trip or two. My parents extended an invite to me and BF for any dates we so choose whether it’s for Thanksgiving, Christmas or later. After looking at our options it seems like it’d be the most affordable to rent a car, drive down and back. However my BF isn’t so intent on visiting my parents and I don’t blame him; without getting into it, I get it and I don’t want to force him. However throughout our entire relationship we’ve never spent a holiday with either of our families. This would be a huge deal for me and for him as well as my parents (holidays aren’t a big deal to my family aside from the excuse to spend time together) and it wouldn’t be extended family; just the four of us, my parents, me and BF. So how do I go about convincing him to come down to my parents with me? I know he’ll enjoy himself. We’ll have a rental car so we wouldn’t be dependent on my parents for day trips and we can make as many stops as we need on the way (which isn’t an issue just a bonus) I just know he’ll feel opposition towards going for an extended period of time where it’s not just a couple days up to the mountains but rather likely a week 800 miles south…in the mountains… lol. Spending the holidays without him won’t hurt as much as people might think since it’s been our norm for a decade, but it wouldn’t be very nice and I’m dying to show him around my parents new neighborhood; it’s nothing like either of us have experienced before, plus since it’s south it’ll be nice to have a warm holiday season (but that’s my opinion lol) any ideas? I’m not trying to sway him against staying home but I’d love if he could come and would actually WANT TO come with me.

I am going through a strange mental state. First of all, I never had any intention of looking at a mobile phone, buying into the past, or anything like that. It was just a normal routine activity where, as husband and wife, we look at each other's phones because we know each other's passwords and are right in front of each other, so I never thought or intended to spy on each other. There was nothing like that.
So anyway, my wife's old phone—which she hadn't turned on even once since our marriage, and it has been seven months since we got married—she happened to open it herself today for some work because she needed some data from it. Just out of curiosity, I looked at her Snapchat and opened it. There were no chats or anything; it was just her own chat, like how we message ourselves on WhatsApp. She had her own pictures there, so I was looking at that.
Suddenly, right in the middle, I saw an old memory-type photo—a small reel—where she was in a video with some boy, a young guy, you could say. It was just an ordinary, random video from somewhere in Lahore. Ever since then, my heart has felt so heavy, wondering who that person was, what kind of relationship she had with him in the past, whether there was one or not, and to what extent it was.
Her relationship with me is very good; we have a lot of mutual understanding, love, and affection, and I have never felt anything like this before. But somehow, Satan showed me that thing from somewhere, and now a mental agony is going on inside me. I don't understand what I should do. It's not like this is a recent event or something that happened after marriage; this photo, or video you could call it, was from two or three years ago.
So now, should I discuss this with her, or should I just ignore it, practice patience, try not to think about it too much, or how can I bring myself to mental peace and reassure myself that there is nothing to it?

Hi, just need to vent and also some advice, this is pretty sensitive, so please be kind. Sorry it's a long read.

I went out to the city about 4 weeks ago. I was out alone at this bar/ lounge, I ordered myself a drink and was just listening to the music and enjoying the vibe. As I'm standing there, this guy comes up to the bar and looks like he's looking to order a drink. We make brief eye contact, so I smile politely and just sip my drink. He does a double take at me and then starts up a conversation. It was nice, on the surface talk and I liked that we realized we were both the same age (late 30s) though he assumed i was younger. (Don't know if that was a red flag) So as we're just chit-chatting and drinking our drinks, he gets closer to my face, closer and first attempts to kiss me and when I lean back slightly, he actually kisses me. I was very nervous but I just kissed him back. That made me feel nervous at first but then a little relaxed like maybe this is a good thing. So in the midst of our dancing and drinking, we kissed a few more times and we're laughing it up, we're going on our 3rd drink and I say I have to use the restroom. He says I have a room upstairs, you can just use it there. (The lounge was connected to a hotel) I didn't feel comfortable with that, so I said "It's okay, I'll just use it downstairs" where the lounge bathroom was. He said, "Well they'll be long lines." I said, "No worries, it's okay. " I told him I wouldn't be long and went. I left my drink there without thinking. I use the restroom quickly and head back. He's still there and we resume as normal. I then say I have to use the restroom again after some time, and he says let's just go upstairs. I said I wanted to order another drink and he says, I have a full bar, no problem, just use the bathroom upstairs and if I want to come back down, fine. I was feeling a bit unsteady at this point, so I just said okay.

Once I get up to his room, I don't even get a chance to use the bathroom, I just sit down for a second and pass out. I wake up hours later, on my stomach and my skirt is gone. My boots are off and he laying down next to me. I get scared and ask him where am I. He just laughs and rolls back over and says, you're on birth control right? I say no because I hadn't be sexually active in awhile and I was just out of a long term, extremely abusive relationship of 4 years prior. He was kinda cold towards me after and I was so disoriented, I just tried to get dress and leave. We exchange numbers and he walked me down, then handed me money to get a emergency contraceptive pill. As soon as I get home, I make a appt with Planned Parenthood that morning. I went there and told them what happened and I would just like the pill to be safe. I also want STI testing. They said my insurance would cover both but I couldn't do them both in the same day. I said okay, well I'll like the pill first. I started crying out of no where, telling the nurse and she said I'm so sorry, would you like to talk to someone? I politely declined. So they gave me a prescription that was sent to Walgreens. I wait for them to fill my prescription, just to receive a notice that it was temporarily out of stock and they'll let me know when it's filled. The next day it was filled but I couldn't get there that day, so I went the following day. I also went that day back to Planned parenthood to get STI testing, which thankfully was all negative, though they suggest coming back in 3 months to be sure.

The guy contacts me over a day later asking if I got home okay. I was still trying to piece the night together and understand what happened and I didn't like that he waited over a day to check on me but I figured, let me just put it behind me and just move on, I'm making a big deal of nothing and i can't be sure what really happened. He and I were talking briefly here and there every day up until last Friday, he asked me did I want to hang out on Wednesday. I was very apprehensive but I said okay. He doesn't talk to me that whole weekend and I didn't think anything of it until Wednesday comes, and he says I have to cancel. I say okay, no problem and took it as a sign that maybe God was trying to protect me.

So I go out two weeks ago to a BB game, and while driving, this guy runs a red light and totals my car. I have to go to the hospital to be evaluated and there after drawing my blood, they tell me I'm pregnant. I'm totally devastated and have a full breakdown while they're trying to remove my clothes because I'm in a neck brace. They stop and say, are you okay, did something happen to you? I said I just don't want them yanking on my pants. They were understanding and kind to me and respected my wishes. But then they sent in a sexual assult counselor and doctor to talk to me. They asked me what happened and when I told them, they said they think I may have been drugged and assaulted. I told them that they're saying I'm pregnant, but I took the pill. They tell me it's up to me but they have my statement if I want to press charges. And that there are options about the pregnancy as well. I'm just so lost at this point and devastated. I haven't spoken to the guy since that Wednesday and had no plans to, through I don't know if I should tell him about the pregnancy. I was able to find a little more information on him but that didn't put me at ease. I'm just scared, sad, hurt and now dealing with the car accident. What should I do? He didn't seem like a bad guy but I don't know if he purposely hurt me and if I should have a baby with a stranger. I was sexually assaulted before in the military, so i feel helpless going through this again.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I appreciate any advice.

Every day it seems more and more people give in to AI which is just what the AI companies wanted. Many of us still hate it and don't want to be a part of it, but are being pushed into it in many ways.

How do you live in a world that simply isn't the world you knew anymore, where its values are opposite of your own? Everything in life that makes me happy is being devalued and deprioritized more and more by AI. Am I supposed to just give up on all of it?

EDIT: Thank you for the kind replies! Pls no furry hating, that is not the intention of this post. Thank you for the help!

I (23f) have this friend (21f) and from the beginning I knew she was a furry, and I made it clear that I’m happy for her and anyway that she wants to express herself is cool with me. I truly do not judge her for being a furry, and she often brings up she’s a furry whenever I bring her around other people. I have no problem with her openly vocalizing that information, that itself doesn’t embarrass me. That doesn’t change the fact I’m personally not really into furries, it just isn’t for me, but I would never want my friend to feel bad or like she can’t talk to me about her interests. I’m sure there’s things I’m into that others would look down upon or be confused by.

Recently I invited her to the local fair with me, and she asked if we could go with her boyfriend so me and him could finally meet. I said yes, because I was genuinely happy to finally meet him. After saying yes she then springs the question on me— “he’s thinking about going in full-fursuit, but doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable” Clearly baiting me to assure them and say yes (which I didn’t do, I just left it on delivered) I wouldn’t have agreed to go in the first place if I knew him being in full-fursuit was in the equation 😭

I kind of feel furry-trapped. 1) I say no and look like a jerk 2) I say yes and have an awful night… Being cool with her being a furry is very different from going with them while they’re in full fursuit + getting stared and laughed at by a bunch of teenagers! I don’t want to be stared at all night (we live in the DEEP SOUTH)! I was just trying to have a casual fun time. Am I embarrassed by her and her man being furries? No. But I am embarrassed to be seen in a tight public setting with full-fursuits on, I’ll admit it, and I don’t think that’s a crazy thing to feel. I would never say that to them though, because that is mean.

I tried to tell them in a nice way “I don’t like a lot of intention on me, but I also want you guys to have fun and dress however you want” and it seemed like she got the point up until she said— “I totally get it, he totally gets it—He probably won’t wear it” PROBABLY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN PROBABLY! I will be mortified honestly. How do I make it crystal clear, in the nicest non friendship destroying way that I don’t want to be around them full-fursuit?

I am a Lesbian / Tomboy and have long had an attraction for pre-op MTF. So, exactly what community and what label or identity to give myself. And, more importantly, are there others with similar feelings and desires? Who is MY community and please tell me how to connect. Thanks for any feedback.

So I’m (15m) and I just got told by the 5th girl in a row that I’ve talked with, hung out with, almost dated you know, that they aren’t ready for a relationship or too busy for one. The exact same thing. Every time. 1-2.5 weeks long, acts super interested, we talk every night, and then they switch up one day. What am I doing wrong? I don’t act any different, other than like naturally progressing and getting more comfortable. How do I find someone who doesn’t do stuff like this. I’m just baffled, I don’t know what to do. Also, it was a pretty even amount of chasing/being chased, but both of us were usually interested in about the same amount.

My girlfriend (29F) and I (31M) have been living together for about six months in a high-cost-of-living city. I own a paid-off car that I use mostly to commute to work a few days a week. She doesn't own a car and usually relies on public transit or rideshares.

When we first moved in, I told her she was welcome to borrow the car for big grocery runs or occasional errands. In the beginning, it worked out well—she’d use it for household trips, which benefited both of us.

However, over the last few months, her usage has escalated significantly. She now takes the car almost every weekend for personal outings (brunch, visiting friends across town, solo errands) and sometimes during the week while I’m working from home. It’s reached a point where I often have to check if my own car is available before making weekend plans, and a few times she’s taken it without letting me know beforehand.

She replaces the gas she uses, but I cover all maintenance, insurance, registration, and wear-and-tear.

The issue is that I tried to address this last night, but I think I handled it poorly. Out of frustration, I told her the car was strictly off-limits moving forward unless it was a shared household task or a genuine emergency.

She was deeply hurt and accused me of being cold and transactional. She pointed out that she uses the car for shared household errands and brought up that when she was doing better financially last year, she covered a larger share of a joint vacation without tracking costs. She feels like I’m treating her like a temporary roommate rather than a partner we’re building a future with.

I realize now that I created this problem by being too passive at first and then jumping straight to a total ban rather than setting realistic rules earlier on. At the same time, I feel taken advantage of and need my space and property respected.

How can I walk back my total ban without backing down on my need for boundaries? What’s a fair way to structure car sharing with a partner so both people feel respected?

Im 21F my bf is 19M…we’ve been together a little over a year and everytime we call he does this thing where he asks me what im wearing so I can turn my camera on. It was fine at first, but then it got really annoying and I found myself responding with attitude when he’d ask that. I mean like why are u talking like a random creep online who asks girls what they’re wearing 24/7…ygm??? So uuuh.. do I say something I don’t wanna be mean about it.

they both finished fast regardless but its like they are so against it when they clearly enjoy it just as much?

Backstory
I am M22, I had a girlfriend in high school I was very deeply involved with me and her dated from grade 10 to 12 and then 1 year out of school.
She fell pregnant by me and was at 6 months since she had a miscarriage. We ended things due to her not coping with it well as it was an unplanned pregnancy and it caused a lot of drama. She cut me off and stopped taking to me due to the feeling she had associated with me.

Four Years Later
Currently it’s 4 years since this happened and I have not stopped missing her since. I always Hoped she would come back to me and we will make up and somehow we will be together, to be honest it kept me going.

How I Met My Friend
During this time I was in university where I met a guy and me and him became friends. Not very close but he was a “talk to someone every odd day online or in person” sort of friend. Very chill and cool guy.

The Wedding Invitation
He randomly texted me saying he is getting married and I am invited and so are my other friends etc. I am happy to go and I’m cheering, until I asked who the girl was.
Yep it was my ex who I still have feelings for.
She was dating this guy I met at university for the past 2 years and I never even asked. To be noted she hasn’t been in contact with me for the past 4 years.

How I Feel About This
Now I know I feel like I’m dragging this one sided love on for too long man, but I can’t help but feel devastated and sick to my stomach thinking about her being with this guy.
Crazy thing is she doesn’t even know that I am her future husbands friend.
Am I being too childish this has been fucking with me ever since I found out and I’m so devastated. I’d be devastated seeing her marry him in front of me.

What My Friend Doesn’t Know
Also to be noted my friend didn’t know until I told him I she was my talking stage nothing serious.
I had to cover up for her because if my friend finds out we were intimate and had a past he would lose his mind and def leave her.
I know she hasn’t told him about what happened because he won’t be able to bear it. She specially told me she would never tell any of her partners about this.

The Main Question: Do I Tell Him?
Now do I tell him but if I do a marriage that is taking place next month is going to break and everyone is already invited. I’d ruin it for both of them.
I can’t get my self to tell my friend.

So long story short my grandparents have raised me since i was 12 but both of my parents are back in my life now. I (20 F) have been with my trans boyfriend (21) for 4 years. 2 years ago i told my super christian conservative grandparents that we were dating but did not tell them he was trans… so they believe we are lesbians. They do not like it or support it but they said they love me no matter what and they can’t judge me only god can. This year my boyfriend started T and the changes are becoming noticeable. I plan to tell them this weekend but I am so so scared. Family is everything to me and the thought of losing them is my worst nightmare. My grandpa is currently helping me financially through college but i don’t really care about that, i just want them to still love me. Me and my boyfriend agreed that they don’t have to support or want him around as long as they stay respectful and support me. Does anyone have any advice or their own stories to share? I am FREAKING OUT and don’t know how to cope.

most of the people around me (16NB) are transphobic, but my friend and younger sister seem different. my friend is really chill and slightly left-leaning in politics, and my sister has been expressing her acceptance of the community lately. they arent suuuper supportive, but theyre absolutely accepting and i feel like they would be more supportive if they knew i was queer.

they are both into plenty of queer artists and stand up for lgbtq+ people, even though they are both christians.

i want to let them know i trust them and it's so much nicer to be out of the closet, but im also a little bit scared they won't take me seriously. any thoughts?

I am 19 and my boyfriend is also 19. We started dating a little over a year ago. We are in a very happy relationship and both of us are on the same page about everything (values, politics, maturity, future plans, religion, etc) and we know we will be getting married, most likely after college. A few months into our relationship we started having sex. It was great for us. We were safe but it was a really special way to bond. We had only ever had sex with each other, so it was really special. However, about 6 months ago, we decided to stop having sex and wait until marriage. I know this may seem weird that we started and then stopped for religious reasons. My boyfriend originally had some conflict has he grew up a bit more religious than me, but we had been on the same page about if you really really love someone than sex is ok. We later decided that we should stop having sex, to preserve that biological/physical connection as much as we could for after we continue to strengthen our emotional connection to one another. It started off feeling doable, but as more and more time passes and the thought of having to wait years to have sex with each other again feels a bit unbearable. We both deal with urges, and I was wondering if someone could give us both advice on how to deal with the urges and maybe where to redirect that energy in a healthy way. And just to be clear, we don’t want to have sex with anyone else and are completely willing to wait, we both just are having a hard time adjusting haha. Thanks in advance!