I’ve lived in my loft for 6+ years. I’ve always had neighbors on both sides, and noise has always been an issue to some extent, usually bass vibrations from music and TV. The layout of our lofts seems to amplify everything because sound echoes and bounces around, and even ordinary noises feel louder than they should. Usually, the noise stops at night, which I’m thankful for.
Recently, my next door neighbor’s boyfriend and his dog moved in. My neighbor is a good friend of mine, and I love her, so I really don’t want this to become an issue between us. Unfortunately, I’ve been woken up almost every morning by doors and cabinets slamming, and sometimes music and the dog barking. All of their cabinets are along the wall we share, so every time they open or close them, I hear it. Between that, barking, and other noise, it’s been really difficult to get consistent sleep.
I’ve mentioned noise to her kindly over the years, and she knows I’m sensitive to sound. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I can’t say anything else. I understand people need to go about their mornings and live normally in their homes. I worry that asking them to be more mindful of how loudly they close things would come across as annoying or unreasonable. I don’t want them to feel like they have to tiptoe around their own home, but I also feel like I should be able to sleep in mine.
I’m a very anxious, hypersensitive person, and I feel like my body no longer fully relaxes when I go to sleep. I almost anticipate being woken up and feel like I can’t truly settle in. I’ve had some really awful experiences with neighbors in the past, including someone I shared a wall with, came home drunk at 2 am, and played piano for hours. I think those experiences have made me especially sensitive to this now.
I need 8 hours of sleep to function, and adjusting my schedule to match theirs isn’t realistic. I own my condo and am on a waitlist to rent it out, but that will take some time.
Even if I do move out, I don’t know where I’d go. I’m paranoid I’ll have the same problem anywhere I live that isn’t a standalone house. At the same time, I’m not sure I’m ready to live in or buy a house on my own. The idea of having to make such a big decision just to feel comfortable sleeping in my own home feels overwhelming.
I’m desperate for solutions, both practical and mental. I have a white noise machine, but feel like it doesn’t help with the vibrations. I’ve been researching brown noise because I’m wondering if it might help more with that.
For anyone who’s dealt with something similar:
- Are there particular sound machines, earplugs, or other products that have made a real difference?
- Is there anything I can do to reduce noise coming through a shared wall, especially when cabinets are against it?
- Has anyone successfully dealt with anxiety of anticipating noise or becoming hyperaware of every little sound? How did you learn to relax in your own home again?
- Is there anything specific I should bring up with my therapist to help with this?
- If you’ve moved because of noise, did you find that living somewhere else actually helped? Have you found condos or apartments where noise wasn’t a constant issue?
I’m not expecting complete silence. I’m just trying to find a way to get consistent sleep and stop feeling on edge in my own home.
Please be kind. I’m already hard on myself about being sensitive to noise. Comments like “you shouldn’t live in the city” or “you knew what you signed up for when you bought a loft” aren’t helpful. Thank you!