Hi everyone!

The temperature where we live dropped sharply recently, and with the heating running non-stop at home, our house is bone dry. My wife and I wake up every morning with dry throats, but it’s worst for our two little ones (our 3-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter). They wake up frequently in the middle of the night, their breathing sounds very congested, and my son's lips were even dry to the point of bleeding.

I consulted an online pediatrician, and they recommended getting a humidifier, but didn't give specific brand recommendations—just some precautions (like regular cleaning) and things like that.

After doing some research on my own, I’m leaning toward a warm mist/steam humidifier because boiling the water first to sanitize it feels cleaner. Evaporative humidifiers seem fine too, but taking care of two little kids leaves me exhausted, and I honestly don't have the time or energy to constantly clean or replace filters.

I’m currently torn between two options:

Vicks Warm Mist Humidifier: Very affordable and simple, but the water tank looks a bit small. Will I need to get up at 3 AM to refill it? It seems like it needs to be placed on a nightstand or inhaled at close distance to relieve dryness.

Y&O Smart Warm Mist Humidifier: The 10L large capacity can run all night and cover large rooms. It cools the steam before release (no burn risks, which is crucial for my playful kid) and has a child lock. However, it's a bit pricier.

I'd love to ask fellow dads:

Has anyone used either of these two humidifiers? Or do you have other best humidifier recommendations?

Aside from humidifiers, do you have any tips or things to avoid when keeping kids moisturized during the heating season?

Thanks in advance for everyone's advice!

Alright dads, this one was playing on my mind in the shower this morning - I’ve always been a “I need food immediately” type on waking, and my small family were the same.

I remember in my 20s I had an ex who had a big family (4 siblings) and being surprised when we did a visit to her folks that everyone had to be fully dressed and showered before breakfast - the waiting was torture and it felt super formal.

Is this just a big family thing? I guess it makes sense if you have 5 kids to wrangle - bribe em with bacon!

I’m 19 and having a kid in 5 months, which comes with a ton of stress. It wasn’t planned, but I have the important things figured out. I’ve locked down 2 jobs, one with good benefits, and I'm doing my best to save money and prepare.

Lately, my anxiety has been through the roof. Today I had a panic attack for the first time in years, and I have felt nauseous all day. I’m guessing the stress of everything is catching up to me.

I’ve always wanted to work in the fire department or law enforcement, and I was planning to start working toward that before finding out I was going to be a dad. Now, the thought of dying scares me more than ever. I know I’m only 19 and have a lot of life ahead of me, but now I feel like a scared kid again, dealing with panic attacks and irrational thoughts I believed I had learned to manage a long time ago.

It’s been on my mind all day, and I’m not sure how to change my mindset. I feel like I don’t have time to be stressed or feel down because I have so much to do and prepare for.

I guess I’m just wondering if it’s normal to feel this way with everything going on and if it gets better. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this.

Turn that shit up to 11 and possibly even play it a second time round

Boys I fucking crushed it today. Its 11:15 and I’ve been up since 6:30. I got the kids up, made lunch, made coffee for me and tea for the lady, and did drop off. Came home and worked all day, even closed some new business (just gotta write it up) until I picked up the kids from school. I made dinner from some frozen leftovers I strategically made extra of earlier in the week... creamy chicken penne then frozen to a casserole type dish that all I had to do was microwave, another brilliant forethought… served along with some fresh Caesar salad. Then I let the kids watch Forbidden Planet while I did a serious clean on the bathroom because of my wife’s brother coming into town on Thursday. Got the kids down and then gave my wife a back rub until she fell asleep. Got up and made protein blueberry pancakes for the family to pop in the toaster in the morning AND made their Bentgo lunchboxes for tomorrow while I was at it. I gotta be out the door early tomorrow and so all I gotta do I turn the kettle on and make our coffee/tea, get dressed and leave. I also started a new book today and am about 5 chapters in, gonna read some more right now until I fall asleep.

Some days suck ass… and some days you absolutely make the day your fuckin bitch. Strive for the latter, boys.

Our son used to be pretty open to eating whatever we made but so for some reason he's gotten incredibly picky over the last few months to the point where we are worried he's not eating enough. He always says he's full after a few bites when we know it's because he's just being picky. Do we cut out snacks and treats altogether? I don't want to punish him for NOT eating but rather motivate him to eat more ACTUAL food other than cookies and crackers and cheese sticks.

Son has to get his tonsils out in a few weeks so any tips or food suggestions for after is appreciated. Kid hates mashed potatoes and cant think of anything else besides that and pudding. Any other tips or suggestions or a heads up are also appreciated.

We tried to take a picture, but he was taking his role as The Flash very seriously.

(Tagging this as Discussion because there's no humor flair)

Currently standing in my kitchen making ramen at 10pm because I was too busy making the kid's dinner to eat myself, haven't had time to go to the store to get groceries for the rest of the week and am not sure I can afford them without maxing out my credit card, and have 4 weeks of laundry sitting in my room waiting to be folded afterwards I finish eating.

How are your Tuesdays going?

Was helping my kids put their jack o lanterns on the porch. They've got the little tealights inside and my son's wasn't working, so I had to mess with it to get it lit back up. Told him it was loose. Then I thought, heh... it is, in fact, luz.

Hey dads, I'd love to solicit some support. My wife has been dealing with a cluster of health problems that got bad about 3 years ago, though they started well before that. We've recently come to understand it probably isn't going away, and started to recognize it as chronic illness, and not just a series of unexplained episodes. We have a couple of partial diagnoses, but a lot of unexplained symptoms remain. It looks partly autoimmune but includes joint pain, GI, and endocrine issues, and it often flattens her with fatigue. She also has ADHD. Our kids are 5 and 7, and she's a stay-at-home mom. I'm very fortunate to be able to WFH in a stable role.

The hardest part is the unpredictability. Much of the time she manages to do the things she enjoys and we split responsibilities pretty equitably. Then symptoms hit, sometimes as full-blown flares, rarely with any rhyme or reason. She can be fine for weeks or months, then laid out for days, or just powering through the pain for weeks at a time.

That means we'll plan an activity, she crashes, and I'm on the hook with the kids when maybe I wasn't prepared to manage it all solo. She'll say she'll handle something and then isn't able to follow through. She means well, but she isn't realistic about her limits, so we can't fully count on her plans, and I end up quietly building a backup for everything.

I work hard to cover as much of the family routines and chores as I can, and when a flare hits, I step in to manage everything I can, really entering survival mode and carrying out mechanical routines. Our kids aren't the hardest, but our youngest pushes boundaries constantly and needs a lot of active management, which just adds to the energy cost of life. We have almost no backup: her parents are gone and mine aren't particularly helpful.

My intention isn't to complain. I know she's the one suffering and I really do my best to support her in every way I'm able. But I'm worn down, and a few things make it harder:

• My time off isn't really off. She's supportive of me taking a break, say on a Sunday when we don't have plans, but I'm always braced for the bottom to drop out, so I never fully switch off.

• She needs a partner, and I'm tapped out. Especially when she's feeling vulnerable, she wants me present and supportive, and by the time I've dealt with the active crises and routine upkeep, there's little left for her.

• I can't show I'm struggling. She reacts badly to any hint that I'm unhappy or burdened. I assume it's guilt and fear, but it leaves me with nowhere to put it.

• She's very sensitive to perceived criticism. Even a small ask, like a dishes-related request, can blow up, and when she's flooded by her limitations she can get controlling. I get that she's frustrated by her lack of control and agency, but it means I end up quietly absorbing a lot that I don't feel I can share back.

A small example from this week: I used to love elaborate Halloween costumes and decorations, and I just can't find the energy for it anymore. It still matters a lot to my wife, and she's pouring herself into making custom decorations, potentially to the point of burning out and making her symptoms worse. I admire that she cares about making things beautiful, and I'm glad she's spent the time. But I'm over here doing routine chores and chipping away at a backlog of deferred maintenance, and I miss being the person who was excited to put together something goofy for the holidays.

We're in couples counseling, which helps. I'm reading The Invisible Kingdom, a great book about chronic illness. I'd love to find resources aimed at spouses and partners, since most of what I find is for the patient.

What I'd love to hear from other dads in this situation:

1. How do you actually recharge, not just "take time," when you're always on call mentally?

2. How do you plan family life when your partner's capacity is unpredictable and her plans don't always hold?

3. How do you stay emotionally available to a partner who needs you when you're already depleted?

4. How do you make requests or set boundaries with a partner who's sensitive to perceived criticism, without adding to her guilt?

5. Any books, communities, or groups for spouses of chronically ill partners?

I know a lot of you have lived some version of this, and I'd appreciate hearing any wisdom you have. Thanks for reading, I know this one is long.

My 6 year old son has almost daily #2 accidents. It started 6-8 months ago and I'm losing my freaking mind over it.

Yes I've taken him to a doctor, it's not encopresis. Yes he's in therapy. His therapist doesn't believe he's on the spectrum or any form of disabled.

It started with moderate to large accidents. I can't say there's been NO progress but it's a fucking snails pace. He just won't or can't listen to his body. It's always when he's distracted.

I set up bathroom breaks for him, make him go at certain times (when we get home, after meals, etc) but if I miss them the chance of an accident skyrockets. He might go 2-3 weeks of daily accidents if I don't remind him. Then he might go 3-4 days of no accidents. Then he will have 3-4 the next day.

Where before it was BIG accidents now it's like "slips" most of the time with an occasional bigger one. Again it's always during distractions: video games, TV, playing with others, fishing trips. Video games are cut out unless he goes an extended time with no accidents. TV gets cut out sometimes too with the same rules.

He used to not even notice it happened he'd just REEK. Now most of the time he notices and cleans himself/changes before we notice. Sometimes he secludes himself if it happens, but most of the time he notices now. So I guess that's improvement.

I really don't want to hurt his self esteem or make him feel guilty about it but I'm getting to the point where I want to drive my head through a wall every time it happens.

What the fuck guys. I don't know what's wrong with my boy. I'm going fucking insane here. I don't know what's wrong with my boy.

Edit: I also want to add we do positive reinforcement as well. He has a reward chart and if he goes take a dump without a grown up telling him to he gets a sticker. So many stickers get prizes.

Edit 2: only happens at home. No accidents at school or other places

My 3.5 year old draws these things daily at daycare and my truck floor is piling up with them. My wife gives my crap if she sees me toss them out like they’re some memory I’m tossing away. Am I the only one?

https://youtu.be/aOEYoglP7zI?is=zbMom_SEkAvsYglH

My 9 yo wanted to go as Hercules. So I made her a bow out of PVC (bent using a heat gun). Was a fun project. What else is being made out there?

My son is a 5th grader and has his set of friends. He asked if some of his friends can sleepover and go bowling instead of t/t because it's going to rain anyway. I'm fine with it, but I can't tolerate how much some of three of these kids stink because they don't use deodorant. I have NO clue how their parents can be so clueless about this. I can be rather blunt because I care and I want my point to get across. I don't want my request to have your son wear deodorant be taken the wrong way when I would totally understand if the roles were reversed.

Hey guys (English isn't my first language so I don't know the most precisely words) but I would like to know your experience if you have stayed at home caring for the kids while your wife brings the money. I would like to do this with my girlfriend, we're pretending to have kids. But she doesn't want to be a house wife. I wouldn't care not working, I really want to be father and maybe working from home. So, if you had this experience tell me here.

About 3 months ago, I posted this story about playing a narrative storytelling game with Roleplay elements with my 6yo daughter. I'm a veteran RPG and tabletop player and GM and wanted to share the fun of these games with her.

Fast forward to today: For the past 3 months my daughter and I have been doing this on the regular: at least once a week when I have the time and brain-space (usually on the weekends). She loves it and she's been coming up with her own storytelling ideas that we use when we play together. It's been a great way to spend Daddy/daughter time together.

Well, I came home from work today and my wife handed me her latest report card from her school (1st grade). Her reading comprehension is one of the highest in her grade, and she's been moved to the advanced reading group. This is because, according to her teacher, she has been coming up with fantastic stories and has been using what we've been doing as the basis: characters, setting, problem, and solution for a complete start-to-finish story. I couldn’t be prouder, and I just wanted to share!

we used huckleberry with our first mostly to log naps and feeds. the sweetspot suggestions were hit or miss, so after a while i stopped looking at them and just used it as a diary.

curious what other dads actually get out of these apps long term. do you follow the predicted windows, or do you end up ignoring them and just tracking by hand?

not looking for a product rec, more what stuck for you after a few months.

Ten years ago, I started my sobriety journey because I was facing some legal issues. I was stupid, high on Xanax and keyboard cleaner. I had graduated high school just a year prior, and I found myself in the federal justice system.
I found a regeneration program up in the mountains of Georgia, where I spent 26 months total: 13 months receiving support and another 13 months choosing to stay on as a mentor to the newcomers. The 20/21-year-old version of me had no idea what he had in store for him in the future.
I found myself in private prison during the summer of love in 2020. On May 5, 2020, I made my second attempt at sobriety, and I’ve been sober for six years now.
Looking back at rehab, my time incarcerated, and the friends I’ve lost to addiction, I know I don’t want to go back.
I watched my father die, and instead of drinking the pain away, I called a friend, and he helped me. I’m still sober.
I’m thankful for my sobriety now more than ever because my younger cousins lost their dad to addiction. I stepped up to be a father figure for them.
Last year, the kiddos wanted to go trick-or-treating, but we had just buried my dad. This year, I’m glad to say I’m taking the kids out. I got their costumes, and I’m taking my dad’s final birthday present to my mom. We restored a ’95 Nissan pickup together. It was one of the final projects he painted.
I take that truck to car shows to display my dad’s talent. Man, I miss that guy.
If you’re on the fence about jumping on the wagon, take the leap. Others will thank you for doing it.
As for me, I wouldn’t have been able to step into my dad’s role in his business if I were still actively using.
Six years sober, and I’m still here. Still showing up. Still carrying on what my dad built.
And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Daughter has been dealing with some constipation issues that had made her regress a bit on the potty training when it comes to poop.

She constantly holds her groin and looks like she’s in discomfort but then doesn’t need to poop and doesn’t pee. We tried feeding her a bunch of broccoli, prunes, water, everything to help. Now it’s coming out loose so I think she doesn’t feel it and she has an accident (small one, streaks, not a turd).

She’ll say she’s itchy so we took her in for a UTI screen and she came back clear. Doctor said to give it a few more days, maybe a little miralax, but it doesn’t seem to be letting up. We don’t know what to do!

Do we keep softening the stool so she poops but then more accidents? Do we try to go back to normal diet so she has a solid poo and not a runny one? Could it be something other than a UTI?

Any thoughts??

My husband will do paternity leave from when my LO turns 7 months to 1.5 years.

Dads who have taken paternity leave, how did you fine it? When do you think is the optimal age for dad to take over in an ideal world to make it less painful for the dad?

How did you make it work with your wife, when did she spend time with the kid, how did you divide labour?

And what do you wish / recommend your wife did to make the transition / the leave easier for you?

I don’t know if this post needs any warnings but as the title suggests, it will include talk of alcohol and drug addiction.

My son is 8 years old. my brother (20) has lived with us since my son was born. We’ll call him L. L is unfortunately deep in both drug and alcohol addiction and has been for about 6 months. Me and my partner have tried multiple times to get him to accept treatment, but he has no interest in getting better and I can’t force him to do so.

Throughout the past few months, L has been in and out of the house. Staying with us for a few nights then leaving for days to weeks at a time. This cycle has been really rough on everyone in the house and his behavior has gotten to the point where I don’t want him around my son. So last week I asked him to not come home until he’s ready to get help. I don’t know if this was the right decision because I worry so much for his safety, but I need to protect my son from watching L destroy himself and his life.

I explained to my son, “L is sick right now and his sickness is making him do dangerous things. To keep you and everyone in the house safe, L needs to live somewhere else for now.”

Naturally, my son has lots of questions about this. How long will he be sick for? Where is he going? Is he coming back? Etc. and he is really missing L. He talks about him nonstop and it breaks my heart. I don’t have answers to any of his questions and I don’t want to give him more information than he’s ready to process.

I’ve watched multiple family members destroy their life with substance abuse and I can’t let my son grow up around the same thing I did. But he deserves to know what’s happening in a way he can understand and deal with. This situation is extremely hard on all of us and I want more than anything else for L to accept help and come home for his sake and our sake, but I can’t make that happen.

Any advice on how to answer my son’s questions or talk to him about the situation is much appreciated.

…your kid spits up all down the front of your sweatshirt and, instead of it going straight into the laundry, you give it a few swipes with a towel and say to yourself, “I could wear that again!”

What else?

I got my daughter the illustrated edition of The Hobbit pictured above for Christmas and it's been an incredible success, we're currently halfway through our 3rd read through. Her birthday is coming up and I was wondering if you all had any suggestions on something similar, a grand adventure with decent/somewhat frequent illustrations? Also fwiw, I can't recommend that edition of The Hobbit enough it's really wonderful

Edit: I forgot to mention, she's turning 6