Disclaimer- this is not about me, I have never had a c-section. I have two close friends who have, one very recently. The fact that she was discharged TWO DAYS after major surgery to do the massive task of caring for a newborn fills me with rage (I'm in the US, obviously). In what world is this allowed?? It's hard enough after an uncomplicated vaginal delivery, but you are just supposed to recover from being sliced open while learning how to feed your baby and not get any sleep?? It's inhumane and grotesque. I don't understand how we got here as a society. Women deserve so much better.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant due on March 30. I saw my OB today and she said she needed to do an IE or a cervical check to see if I'm dilated as standard procedure since I've been feeling increasing pain on my lower back in the past 2 days. IEs are still widely used in my country. If I'm 4cm, she would've admitted me today. But I can't take the pain of an IE. In my 30 years of life, I've established that I have low pain tolerance. My dentist has to inject anesthesia to my gums for a simple tooth cleaning for Christ's sake.

I ended up not having the IE because it was too painful. My OB very kindly but firmly sat me down and talked about the possibility of an elective CS. She said that if I cannot take the pain of an IE, it's highly likely that I will suffer very much from labor, even if I intend to have an epidural. Here, an epidural is only given at 4cm so I need to bear that 0cm to 4cm labor pains. I'm going to see her again in 4 days and my mind will have to be made up by then.

My mind has been made up since the beginning of my pregnancy that I will have a vaginal delivery with epidural since I'm low risk and no complications. I also did some research and really want my baby to get the benefits of a vaginal delivery.

Now, I'm devastated. My due date is coming up and these are all becoming so real to me. I told myself I will try to have a vaginal delivery unless the baby is in danger, in which case an emergency CS will be done. I'm extremely concerned about the postpartum recovery for a c-section. I read online that some women find it hard to bend over to get their babies from the crib/bassinet. There are so many more complications that can happen, and the postpartum recovery is so much more painful. My mom is also saying that labor is a different kind of beast, she knows my pain tolerance, and has been gently nudging me since January to do start thinking about a CS instead of vaginal delivery.

I will have to go back to work on May 11, so there's that to consider as well. I guess a pain benchmark would be the tummy liposuction that I had 3 years ago. I couldn't lie down or stand up on my own for a few weeks when that happened. Is CS worse? How much worse?

I'm looking for some thoughts and advise, and I guess recovery stories for those with low pain tolerance. :( Thank you all

What year was it? (and if you don't mind sharing, what insurance/what sate?)

I didn't have to pay anything the first time, but if we decided to have a second I think we'd end up having to pay, so curious what the cost would end up being.

Thanks!

I remember so vividly with my first c section the most emotional, hardest part was when my baby would cry at night and I wasn’t physically able to get up and get him out of the bassinet. The nurses were too busy to come quickly to the call bell and my husband was dead asleep and no help. I remember bawling in my bed while my baby cried in the bassinet.

Is there a trick to this? Do you physically get out of bed, pick baby up and go back into bed everytime baby cries? Do you bring an air horn to wake dad?

I was having a conversation with my mom about my c-section, and how scared I was. I never wanted one, but LO was breech. My dad decided to join in and said “yeah, but you got the easy way out. You didn’t need to give birth naturally.”

I was like “excuse me I didn’t realize having major abdominal surgery was the easy way out. Recovery was a bitch.”

I hate how people, especially boomers, still think a c-section is easy. There is nothing easy about giving birth. Wether it be vaginally or a c-section. It just makes me feel like I didn’t actually give birth, or that I’m less of a mother. I hate this outlook on c-sections.

Hello! Has anyone elected to have their tubes removed during their c-section? I found a couple posts but they were a bit older, so wanted to ask anew.

I’m pregnant with my second kid and, unless my placenta previa clears up, I’ll have to have a c-section (which I don’t love personally but it is what it is). I’ll know for sure in a few weeks (re-scan at 32 weeks).

Edit: I’ll be freshly 34 at the time of the c section.

Anyway, I figured while they’re in there if that’s what happens, I want my tubes out—both for birth control and for the risk reduction of ovarian cancer.

For those of you that went that route, how was it? Do you feel like it extended recovery time? Any regrets?

Obviously I’ll talk with my OB about the medical implications and such, but just wanted to hear your experiences too!

Moms that have only had c-sections and never vaginal deliveries, how did you cope? I had my daughter via emergency c-section 2 months ago. My doctor told me if I get pregnant in the future it would be a scheduled c-section. Basically, I’ll never have a vaginal delivery & no hope for VBAC. Of course I’m glad my daughter is safe and if I have any future children I want them safe as well. But I am very bummed out about the fact that my first child was born via c-section and any future children would be as well. I struggle with the fact that I will never get to be in labor again, and I’ll never experience a natural, unmediated birth the way I wanted to. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m really struggling already. I’m not sure I even want another child, but the thought of going through another c-section and the horrible, painful, agonizing recovery makes me for sure never want to have another.

edit to add: I had a c-section because baby’s heart rate dropped. I remained stable.

Just need to vent. I had a very traumatic birth experience with my first that resulted in an emergency c-section under anesthesia. I won’t get into that story.

I’m pregnant with my second and when I often get asked about what I plan to do with my second, the amount of “looks” and judgement I have been getting when I say I’m doing an elective c-section this time really caught me off guard. “You don’t want to at least TRY for a VBAC?” No…I don’t and my reasons aren’t your business.

Maybe I just happen to be surrounded by judgy women, but last I checked you don’t get a medal for a vaginal birth and you aren’t less than for having a c-section. I don’t know why it is controversial? Now I don’t want to share anything about my pregnancy with anyone who asks me. This mostly comes from women I work with. I’ve never felt the need to form opinions on someone else’s very personal birth experience. Weird.

My daughter was born yesterday and I chose an elective c-section due purely to my anxiety to go through labor. The c-section itself was heavenly, was very fast and my baby was perfect and is having an wonderful and chill beginning of life. I, on the other hand, never felt so much pain in my life. Of course I was expecting pain, but not this kind of pain. This is 10/10 and I have to say that my pain tolerance is high. I cannot move in bed, get up or walk without howling with pain and crying, even with help. Medication seems to do little (i'm getting infused paracetamol and tramadol - opioid). I don't understand why I am having so much pain. I have read so many reports here on Reddit about c-sections and although of course pain is part of it, it seems to be a 6/10 type of pain and people are walking the same day. My hole belly hurts and not particularly the incision site. I cannot take care of my daughter and breastfeeding her has been a challenge because the positions I can tolerate are not the most suited to her. I just feel so stupid for choosing doing this to myself. I much rather have dealt with labor pains for a few hours than this. This is hell. Has anyone here experienced such a painful recovery? Any tips dealing with this are very welcomed.

Update: Thank you so much for all your responses. I'm now 1 week pp and I am not able to answer you all individually, so I thought of making this update. The day after the c section, they started me on ibuprofen and paracetamol and by the third day I was much better and by the 5th I was back to normal life to the point of being able to sit up from bed without having to turn to the side and was also able to go for a walk with only a minor discomfort. I still regret the c section. My milk didn't come in and my girl lost a lot of weight and struggled with bad jaundice, we had a very rough week because of that, had to start formula and I am making too little milk and she gets frustrated. I'm afraid we've lost the opportunity of a lovely mother daughter bond.

As the title says. Recently my doctor told me that it would be unwise to have anymore kids. I just had my 2nd and really wanted three, so my heart is shattered. My second c-section didn't go well. It took two hours to finish because there were several complications. Apparently my uturus was really close to rupturing and I could've lost my baby. (They didn't know this until they got in there.) Has anyone else gotten news like this? How do you cope? Did you go ahead and do it anyway? I can't see risking my life for another when I already have two beautiful children that need me. I just needed to get this off my chest to some friendly strangers.

Okay, I am 2 months postpartum after an unplanned c-section for my first. Baby's big head & Mommy's narrow/android pelvis just did not work out. But I've noticed that multiple people seem to, upon learning I had a c-section, react almost like it's bad news. They go, "Oh...I'm sorry" or "Oh jeez" or something along those lines. And...it's really not necessary? Even my midwife, when I was actively laboring and started to get concerned that I had been pushing for a long time (2+ hours) and suggested that maybe I might need a c-section, reacted by saying "Oh no honey, you don't want that, trust me." And it really threw me. Even after the birth, I got resources that talked about dealing with "c-section guilt." And now I'm thinking, "SHOULD I feel bad about this?" FWIW, I just accept that my daughter was not going to make it through my pelvis on her own and surgery was the best option to deliver her safely. I never stopped to think it would be an occasion to feel bad.

Has anybody else encountered this? Is there some kind of expectation now that we should feel bad or sad if we don't get the "natural" experience of pushing the baby out? Personally, I read the stories about vaginal tearing, pelvis floor dysfunction, hemorrhoids, the swelling, the frozen maxi pads...and I don't regret missing out on that stuff. I made it out with some very sore and and a scar - I almost feel like I got off a bit easy! It's just very jarring to run into the expectation that I feel bad, cheated, guilty, etc. How do you all feel about your c-section if you had one? Does it change things if it was emergency, unplanned, traumatic, scary, etc.? How do you respond to people who assume you feel bad about it?

I want to qualify that I am not trying to invalidate anybody who does feel negative emotions about a c-section. I'm being critical of the assumption. I know it's different for everyone, especially if you were coerced/guilted/shamed into it or didn't really need it (those still happen). I'm talking about a specific circumstance, just to clarify.

I am SOOOO close to cutting my sister off but, I need to know if i’m overreacting here or not. SO. I just gave birth last week to my first daughter 🥹 Anywho, I had to have an emergency c-section which was literally one of the most TERRIFYING moments of my life.

This is where I think it started as my sister really wanted to see her niece be born but, unfortunately since I was emergency circumstances, they kinda rushed me out of my room and of course, nobody was allowed in the other room with me.

Long story short, Rain is here and she’s healthy but, my sister texted me today asking to see her, I put the camera on her face, she talks to her for a minute, whatever. Then, she proceeds to tell me how disappointed she was that she missed her birth and really wanted to get me a “push gift” but, “can’t” now since I didn’t “actually” give birth and had her “cut out of me” instead.

I was floored and literally just hung up and cried. I don’t even know what to say to her. I wanted to experience pushing so bad, i’ve already felt bad about my c-section. She’s a mom of two. One natural delivery, One csection. What do I do?

hello, I am 12 weeks pregnant and my friend is due in May.

whenever we talk, she kept referring to vaginal delivery as “normal” and how we can achieve it.

I don’t want to initiate a discussion with her as I don’t think it’s my business, so I didn't say anything.

But I once told her my parents shamed my sister in law when she had to go through a C section, and that’s why I am not comfortable having them around whether I have it or not. My friend kind of defended them and said I should give them another chance.

It frustrates me so much that a friend I admired since we were is now thinking this. it shattered my illusion of hers.

I’ve just found out that up to 25% of women feel pain, numbness or discomfort after their c section even a year or two later. Is this actually true because that’s such a large percentage? Please tell me it isn’t? A bit of a random post but honestly so scary and I just want to know because I’m really worried now

I only have one baby, and I had him through an uncomplicated c-section. My dream is to have 4 children. But I keep hearing about how you’re not supposed to have more than 3 c-sections and the idea of a VBAC scares the crap out of me.

Anyone have some knowledge or experience to share with me about multiple c-sections?

The guidelines on conceiving again after cesarean say something like minimum wait period of 12 months to 24 months after delivery before you can TTC due to risk of uterine rupture.

That said, I can’t imagine that it never happens despite the guidelines. Has anyone here gotten pregnant sooner than the recommended parameters (how long specifically?) and what happened?

TLDR: Be totally honest with me. How many of yall actually just sat for 2-4 weeks? Or actually did minimal movement? Especially those with other kids.

I just gave birth to the most beautiful little boy 11 days ago via planned C. It all went well and according to plan. Recovery in hospital went well. Baby & mom very healthy, run of the mill csection (and yes I know how lucky I am!).

Here I am 11 days later & i have shit to do! Sitting still isn’t an option as we have a 7 year old, also, who is in sports/afterschool activities & is hyperactive as all get out (and is acting out a bit since baby bro came home). We have house to clean, bottles to wash (EFF), dinners to cook, 2 bed times to do, an oldest to spend alone time with so that he doesn’t feel pushed to the side… I mean hell. I’m even actively considering getting out of the house to go to my son’s practice tonight. -no one will be holding baby- then I google and it’s telling me that I’m not supposed to be moving basically period (5-10 min spurts, walk from room to room). My partner is incredible and will do ANYTHING we need. I’m the problem.

I’m mostly off pain meds (taking Tylenol & ibuprofen as needed) though by the end of the day, I’m exhausted and not feeling super hot (meds have usually worn completely off by then). I use ice and pop another Tylenol and pass out while my husband takes the 11-4:30-5 night shift - so I’m getting okayyyyyy sleep. My bleeding has been intermittent- comes & goes. Have never filled a pad, even since day of csection. Idk. Just gotta see what the common census is out there. TY!!!!

During my first birth over 2 years ago, I had a 4th degree tear from a vacuum assisted birth. I’m now pregnant with my 2nd and the doctor suggested that I get a c-section for this birth due to the previous tear. At my 6 week check up they said I healed beautifully and all looked good. I haven’t dealt with incontinence or any issues and felt like I was decently healed by that 6 week time frame.

Has anyone experienced that level of tear and gone on to do a vaginal birth? If so, what was the outcome 2nd time?

I’m terrified to tear again and the long term implications so leaning towards a c-section but that also scares me.

I recently had an unplanned C-section for arrest/failure of descent and I’m still trying to understand whether things realistically could have gone differently.

I was unexpectedly induced at 37 weeks for gestational hypertension. I made it to 10 cm/100%/+1 and pushed for a little over an hour. Baby was OT, had a 95th percentile head, and wasn’t descending despite pushing and position changes. My OB tried manually rotating him a few times but couldn’t get him rotate. I was contracting every 2–3 minutes with an epidural and couldn’t really feel the contractions.

Eventually they recommended a C-section for arrest of descent. I agreed, but afterward I’ve struggled with feeling like I “gave up” too quickly because I hear about people pushing for 2–4 hours. I keep wondering whether I should have advocated to keep pushing longer.

For OBs/L&D nurses or anyone who had something similar — does the lack of descent + persistent OT position + failed attempts at rotation make it unlikely that another hour or two of pushing would have changed the outcome? Or could I realistically have had a vaginal delivery if I’d kept going?

I was talking to a coworker about how my C-section with my daughter went, and she told me that she'd ended up needing C-sections for both her kids and that the pressure she was warned about was AWFUL. I realized that even though I got that same warning, I don't remember the pressure at all. Did anyone else manage to get past that? The only thing I can think of is that I had the same anesthesiologist who did my epidural the night before, so he knew my weight and time frame and could make sure I was plenty numbed up.

Edit - thanks for your comments everyone! I was strapped down and had barely slept overnight and I could feel myself drifting, so I guess that's why I wasn't noticing anything. I even remember thinking "Holy fuck, that was quick!" when they got my girl out of me.

I will be having a scheduled csection next week.

What pain meds did you use after? My Dr says ibuprofen and acetaminophen is sufficient, but women in my family seem to think otherwise.

ALSO, what stool softener / laxative do you reccomend? I need to buy something but I've never used them before.

Thank you 🙏🙌

I’m looking for a hospital in the US that has a nursery for when I have my next baby, after my AWFUL experience this past year upon delivering my son. However, I can’t find a single hospital that ISN’T certified “baby friendly” (meaning they don’t have a nursery under any circumstances and only do strict rooming in, and push breastfeeding/strongly discourage formula, among other things). My experience after delivery was awful—I had a c-section, and was up for 48 hours straight with no sleep. I was delirious with exhaustion and pain, and COMPLETELY alone in hospital with my newborn. The nurses could see that I kept falling asleep with baby in my bed because I couldn’t reach the bassinet due to surgery/anesthesia still partially paralyzing me, yet offered no alternative solution or help. One nurse even woke me up from a doze and said, “I’m worried you’re compromising his airway”, from the way he was slumped over when I fell asleep. Then she left the room and didn’t come back for hours! I literally broke down in tears in front of another nurse because I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m legitimately shocked no one at the hospital stepped in to help in any way. I am so relieved he survived, TBH, and I get so scared thinking back. So my question is, did anyone in the US deliver in a hospital that offers a nursery upon request? Did anyone send their baby to nursery so they could rest for a bit? I really truly think nurseries have their place, and if you Google it, there are many articles in huge publications from OB/GYNs/other doctors who think that getting rid of nurseries is unsafe, and that the baby-friendly initiative has increased infant mortality and doesn’t take mothers into account at all. Interested in all of y’all’s takes on this. Edit: to be clear, I asked the nurses if they could take the baby for a bit. They said no, and they weren’t “allowed” to separate mother and baby due to the rooming-in policy-_-.

Could you feel all the tugging and jostling around in/on your abdomen during it?

I could, and I was NOT expecting that, but I have brought it up to a couple other people who had C-sections and they looked at me like I was crazy? (I didn’t have an epidural beforehand, so maybe that’s the difference?)

It didn’t hurt at all, but I could clearly feel things being moved and tugged the entire time. I couldn’t tell what exactly (skin, etc), but I felt it the whole time — when they were cutting me open, pulling the baby out, and stitching me up.

Other people experienced this, right? I think it was super cool, but at the time it was the worst feeling to be lying there experiencing it.

I had a fantastic planned c-section a few days ago. But you're not supposed to eat for 6 hours before surgery, I didn't fancy waking up at 2am for a meal so the last time I ate was about 8pm the day before, I imagine the other ladies in the room were in a similar position.

It was about 1pm and there was me and 2 other couples waiting for the surgery. I think they were running a little behind schedule as there were a few emergencies. So we were all excited to meet our babies and also rather hungry. One of the partners left to pick up a mcdonalds delivery and brought it into the room of hungry women (and my partner who was also refusing to eat for no reason other than solidarity). I think we all collectively hated that guy! Eat it in the perfectly good outside waiting area!!