r/beyondthebump • • 4h ago

Advice Leaving 2m old overnight

0 Upvotes

In a couple of weeks, I will be leaving my 2m old overnight. No more than 24 hours, I’m sure. Am I crazy for that? I’ll be 2.5 hours away. My husband will be taking care of her. She eats breastmilk from a bottle and I have plenty stocked up already. He’s not exactly thrilled about doing it so I am feeling mom guilt. She’s a little on the fussy side but it’s gotten better. Sometimes she sleeps through the night and sometimes she doesn’t. She can be hard to settle too but she always settles. Anyway, am I crazy? She’ll be 5 days shy of 3 months old. Shouldn’t I get to have fun too? I know I’m a mom now but I’m also just a girl, an individual, a friend. I need words of support and encouragement 😭 and similar stories!!


r/beyondthebump • • 21h ago

Relationship Husband picked up 3 month old by front of her sleep sack FAST

201 Upvotes

I am so upset. My baby was crying hard this morning and I checked the Nanit cam because my husband was in there with her to feed and change her and I was curious if she was eating or not. She was on the floor so he could make a bottle and then I saw him lean down and grab the front of the sleep sack to pick her up and he did it FAST. No head support. No butt support. Just picked her up by the sleep sack fabric (a thin one at that). I ran into that room and was really upset. He kept saying "the sleep sack was supporting her". Absolutely not. Not her head! She is 3 months now and gaining better head control but isn't that strong with it. I told him to imagine that happening at a daycare and seeing the video. Idk what to do. I am just shocked and upset he would do that.. He's not the abusive type or concerning in that regard but like... why would he do something so stupid? And why do I have to tell him this? He has been very lax about the baby in terms of safety/positioning.. It seems abusive to me whether he believes it or not. He said he won't do it again but I am just so sad he'd treat our baby that way.


r/beyondthebump • • 16h ago

Nursing & Pumping My husband ended up breastfeeding because our baby couldn't

223 Upvotes

I'm a FTM almost 10 weeks pp and an overproducer, pumping 6-8 times a day on average. I just spent two days with the most excruciating clogged duct. My left breast had swollen to almost twice the size of my right, so painful and full that even a loose cotton t shirt grazing against my nipple made me wince. I couldn't lie on my left side, let alone nurse comfortably. My baby was getting frustrated trying to feed, and after trying sunflower lecithin, Advil, ice packs and pumping with no relief, I was seriously considering urgent care because I was worried about mastitis.

Well, this morning my husband offered to try sucking on it himself to unclog the duct. I was initially embarrassed but I was so desperate that I agreed, and within about a minute milk started flowing. I immediately felt the pressure releasing and after two pumping sessions, my breast eventually softened and returned to its normal size. I literally cried from relief!

Postpartum is a crazy time. Never thought I'd be able to say my husband has tried my breast milk, but here we are


r/beyondthebump • • 5h ago

Advice What would you do re: travel during the age of measles

1 Upvotes

My cousin is getting married mid-November in Cleveland. I’m really torn on bringing our 4 month old daughter there from nyc - we’re flying. initially was going to bring her but pediatrician said she wouldn’t recommend bc of measles in Ohio - but it’s really not in Cleveland proper. So then the plan was to leave baby with my in-laws (they would stay at our place) which I don’t love just because she’s so little. I am back to thinking maybe we will bring her to Cleveland (would love for her to meet some of that side of the family) but really struggling to decide if it’s too risky. she can’t get MMR vaccine until six months. meanwhile it feels like everyone I know is bringing their baby on planes and taking the risk, so am I being overly cautious?
Edit: to be clear, I’m very close to my cousin and definitely going! Question is should I bring our baby girl and already appreciate the advice folks are sharing!


r/beyondthebump • • 6h ago

Baby Sleep - all input welcomed The Power of a Playlist for “Sleep Training”

6 Upvotes

Sharing in case this hack works for anyone else. Has been miracle for me.

Not To debate whether or not to sleep train (I was against it but when we moved her into her own room at 8.5 months it was a nightmare of being up with her at least half the night and sleeping on the floor at times…) but just to share what ended up working for us.

For background up until about 7 or 8 months I was very type B With her. We slowly started observing wake windows vs just letting her nap when tired and go to sleep closer when we went to bed. She slept in her own sleep space in our room and I was always happy to pick her up and hold her back to sleep or feed her. I didn’t mind and she loved it. The only real “routine “ was that I would play the same bedtime playlist most nights.

When we moved her to her room everything broke. I couldn’t immediately comfort her like before in the night so she would cry and wake repeatedly every 1 to 2 hours all night. Putting her down was still working as I held her to sleep but everything else was a mess. Most nights I would give up and end up holding her to sleep in her nursery. if I didn’t she would cry until she was in distress.

My husband had (of course) had friends tell him she just needed to cry. I was adamant not only that it was cruel but also that it wouldn’t work. if you have used Ferber yourself you will recognize that since I was always in the room and always holding her to sleep it was never going to work.

eventually I gave in and did 3 nights of Ferber. it was brutal and while she did eventually sleep it felt awful and there wasn’t much progress night to night.

the 4th night was the game changer. I put the playlist at the heart of the plan. I had read about “postive routine” but didn’t want to do bath, book, rocking every night from now until eternity. we do baths a couple times a week and books in the afternoon. Bedtime is wind down and snuggles and I wanted to try something that fit for us. I started by singing along with the first song while I held her, then moving her to crib and singing the second song while patting and holding / hugging her with her in the crib (never taking her out But comforting her as much as possible) and then leaving the playlist on and playing when I said “goodnight” and left the room.
the first time honestly wasn’t that much better. Lots of crying still but she did stop before the first check in on her own!

the second night she stopped crying in about 6 mins after I left.

the last two nights? It’s insane. She knows the drill now and it seems like she is embracing it vs fighting! I put her in after first song and she lays HERSELF down for second song and is asleep already when I leave.

it seems to also be translating into the middle of the night. Still some bad nights, but past two nights she has woken up, soothed herself within a min or two and gone back to bed!!!

it’s seriously amazing. Some may say it’s just that Ferber needed more time but I know my baby -it was the association with the music. When the first song comes on she KNOWs we are on our way to bed. When the next song starts and I put her down in the crib, I can see her accept its sleep time and get herself settled.

I do leave the phone in there with the playlist on for another 10 mins or so (or until Led Zep Rain Song is playing 😁) and then I get my phone back and she is OUT cold.

has anyone else done this ? Is this an obvious hack I missed because I thought “routine” had to be bath, book, rocking ?

if anyone else tries it let me know if it also works for you! 🤘


r/beyondthebump • • 49m ago

Diapering Question for the experienced boy mums

• Upvotes

How do you stop them grabbing their privates during nappy changes???

I have a 7mo who immediately reaches down and grabs as soon as the nappy comes off. I know at this age it's just curiosity or comfort seeking, but a lot of the time he's so fast I don't have time to actually clean him up before his little hands get into all the mess, not to mention my hands are already entirely busy - one hand keeping him from rolling and wriggling away, and the other trying to wipe as damn fast as I can.

Any advice??


r/beyondthebump • • 9h ago

Discussion Breastfeeding on vacation?

0 Upvotes

Want to know if anyones ever gone on vacation while they were breastfeeding?

My son just turned 5 months old and I’m starting to consider weaning him off. I always worry about my supply and if its enough for him, or if I’ll have enough milk to let my husband give him a bottle at night or have a grandparent help out if I want to take my toddler out. I’m quickly burning through my freezer supply.

We’re supposed to go on a vacation as a family of 4 the second week of January and I’m not sure if I should wean him before or after. We’re going to the caribbean so I’m just not sure the logistics of being all hot/sweaty/sunscreened up and having to nurse him on the beach out in the open, and if its “easier” to be able to nurse him, or have formula instead?


r/beyondthebump • • 16h ago

Advice Struggling to have baby #2

2 Upvotes

My first pregnancy was a surprise baby. We weren’t trying and got pregnant right away! We are now trying for a 2nd baby 2 years later, and it has been a rough journey.

It seems I’m very good at getting pregnant — we’ve only been trying for 2 cycles, and I’ve gotten pregnant both times — but not so good at staying pregnant. My first loss was at 4.5 weeks and my 2nd was at 5 weeks. They were back to back. Both started with spotting that then turned into heavy bleeding.

I’ve been brought in for bloodwork both times and seen a doctor but they keep assuring me everything about me looks normal and healthy and my levels are good. The only message I’ve gotten was to keep trying — that this is “normal” and happens more often with second pregnancies. I just feel heartbroken… I really wanted a big family and this whole situation has been so discouraging so far. It’s a lot of getting my hopes up, just to be let down. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Any words of wisdom or advice?


r/beyondthebump • • 13h ago

Discussion What’s the point of the no kissing rule when baby is just going to put her hands in other people’s mouths anyways?

17 Upvotes

What the title says. As a FTM I’ve been so worried about her getting sick and we’ve had the no kissing rule since she was born. Shes almost 6 months and is going to be around family more with the holidays coming up and I was hoping to continue minimizing germ sharing like that but my baby’s started to put her hands in other people’s mouths and now I’m sure she’s going to do it to anyone holding her 😂 so what’s the point?

Anyone been in a similar position? I’m thinking we pretty much say screw it and if she gets sick, she gets sick but I’d love to hear some advice!


r/beyondthebump • • 2h ago

Advice PediaSure

0 Upvotes

Was anyone told to give their child pediasure at like 14 months?

I have not been told to, but I personally don't feel like my child is gaining enough and all she does is eat. So I'm wondering if anyone was advised by a doctor to, and did they tell you to do the whole drink or what?

I am considering this as an option, I'm just asking around for now but I will talk to her doctor about it too.

The child literally eats more than me a day and she's 14 months and 20lbs. She's tall and is getting too big for her infant seat now but still not in line with most weight requirements for car seats. And I'm just overall feeling like she doesn't gain enough for how much she eats.

I know that technically she is within normal range. But i feel the amount she eats she should be gaining more. And I don't want her to not gain. So I'm contemplating pediasure

Edit::
I don't currently have the money to just switch car seats. A lot of the ones I should be able to get soon are not right for her. Car seats aren't my worries right now. It was just a statement for her weight. Her infant car seat weight limit is 38lbs. Her height is over 30 inches. She is tall and skinny. My only concern is her weight, my slight concern is getting a car seat in which she will not be 100% safe in due to the vast difference in weight and height


r/beyondthebump • • 17h ago

Rant/Rave AIO?

1 Upvotes

i’m 2 weeks pp and partner wants to go to the gym multiple times a week for an hour and a half. is that reasonable? i don’t know if i’m overreacting. i wanted to get out of the house the other day and i was RUSHING to drop off something at the goodwill that’s like under 10 mins from our home. when i got back my partner needed to go to the grocery store for us and told me that he wanted to go to the grocery store that was further away so he could go for a drive. that made me upset because i’m over here rushing to get home and he’s trying to spend more time out of the house. he encourages me to get out more but i’m honestly so tired and sore from childbirth that i can only do so much out of the house as much as i would love to get out. i’m ranting now but i just feel like an hour and a half at the gym multiple times a week is crazy right now. i know that’s the only thing keeping him sane so i feel bad thinking this. if he timed it right after a feed i could probably handle it but it’s still a long time to be out of the house!


r/beyondthebump • • 18h ago

Baby Sleep - supportive/no cry suggestions only I guess we’ll be sleeping with her forever…

1 Upvotes

Hey mommas, I was curious everyone’s thoughts on this. My LO is 11.5 months old and always has been a bit of a Velcro baby. She sleep amazing starting at 2 months she slept through the night but then 6 months we transitioned her to her own room/crib and she started teething. Ever since then she has not slept well at all… we have tried sleep training (chair, Ferber, gentle) nothing worked! She worked herself up to a point she would throw up every single time… it was traumatic for both of us, so we stopped…my husband and I were getting so exhausted we reverted to bed sharing at 10 months after months of waking up multiple times a night trying to get her back to sleep. I know it’s controversial to bed share and before we had her I always said we will never bed share/cosleep because I know how dangerous it can be (we have a large bed so we have plenty of space and we’ve made it safe for her, no pillows or blankets anywhere near her). I just worry that we’ll never be able to get her to sleep independently at this point….but it’s the only way we can all sleep right now. Any advice or thoughts from you all?


r/beyondthebump • • 18h ago

Discussion Question for Only Children

15 Upvotes

I am sorry if this gets asked a lot, but I am curious how only children felt growing up. Were you lonely? Did you wish you had siblings? I ask because my husband and I would like to adopt our next child, but it's expensive. In the event we can't afford it, I don't know if I am willing to go through another pregnancy.


r/beyondthebump • • 17h ago

Discussion Frustrated about mom groups.

28 Upvotes

I am a SAHM with a 10 month old so we get out of the house as often as we can. Every time that I go to one of these “mom groups” I always feel like I’m an outsider breaking into an exclusive club. The one we went to today is specifically to get new moms together so they can talk and socialize and their babies can play together. There was six other moms and the organizer of the event I was the only one that nobody talk to. It felt like everybody else had already had made all these connections and I was the new kid. I’m sad for myself but I’m also sad for my baby that he is not getting the socialization.


r/beyondthebump • • 17h ago

Discussion How do people have the energy to keep baby entertained 24/7?

25 Upvotes

We have an easy baby 6m, but like most babies she is only happy playing for a bit before she gets bored. She chews on everything so what toys I can leave her with is limited. She always slept on the lowest side of charts so there isn’t much time in a day when she sleeps. She has also been waking up every two hours at night for three months now.

I honestly don’t know where to get the energy to sit with her and play and chat all day long. I am so tired. Where do people get the energy or what is it that they do when they are thriving baby caring?


r/beyondthebump • • 12h ago

Advice Baby is not gaining enough weight so doctor told us to switch to formula… but my baby refuses to take the bottle

7 Upvotes

My baby is 3 months old and has not been gaining enough weight for the past month. She only weights 10.4 lbs.

Today we had a follow up doctor appointment and he told us we would have to switch her to formula entirely. She was pretty much exclusively breastfed except for a bottle once in a while when we were out of the house.

She was taking the bottle well until a month ago, then we went a few weeks without giving her one. We happened to try giving her a bottle Friday and she wouldn’t take it at all, she gags when I put the bottle in her mouth and she screams and cries. Saturday my husband tried giving her one and same thing happened. Sunday my dad tried with a different bottle and same. Now today I learn that we have no choice but to switch to bottles only.

Has anyone else been through this? Does anyone have tips for how to try switching her to bottles?

I’m really sad that I can’t breastfeed anymore I haven’t stopped crying since we came back from the doctor. :(


r/beyondthebump • • 10h ago

Advice If this season is your babies first holidays-it might be a disappointment and that’s ok.

34 Upvotes

My daughter was born in January ‘25. So last year she had all of her first holidays. And they were all quite terrible.

Easter, my close family member had a bit of a mental episode and it threw off the whole day (they’re ok.) Halloween, my daughter and I had COVID. The only photo I have of her is in a second hand costume and she is Screaming. Thanksgiving so much ridiculous family drama went down with my siblings and we just wanted to leave. Christmas we went to my in-laws and stayed in a hotel and our girl cut her first tooth and it was all around bad.

All this say. At the end of that holiday season I felt fully defeated. I was disappointed and sad and just felt bad about it all. And 99% of it was fully out of my control, but what was in my control were my own expectations of how it would go. I really should’ve lowered my expectations.

And this year, she’s almost two and I’m already SO much more at ease and know things won’t go to plan but I’m anticipating that.

Anyhow I’ll get off my soapbox.

But, I do hope everyone’s full holiday season this year is wonderful and if it’s not it’s ok. They’re not going to remember being sick on Halloween or their aunt causing drama at Thanksgiving. They’re going to look back on the pictures on day and you can tell them the little moments of joy you found in that year’s holiday season. And they’re a part of it all and that’s what matters.


r/beyondthebump • • 20h ago

Recommendations Matching Christmas PJ’s w/ same prints offered each year

85 Upvotes

which companies repeat the same pattern(s) each year, so I just have to rebuy the kid sizes and not the adult?


r/beyondthebump • • 8h ago

Postpartum Recovery Fitbit Saved my Wife’s Life from Preeclampsia

288 Upvotes

This morning, my wife got a notification that her heart rate dropped below 50 overnight from her FitBit Versa Four. She has been postpartum for six days. She felt completely fine but out of an abundance of caution we went to the pharmacy and got a blood pressure cuff. Sure enough, her blood pressure was about 40 points higher than it normally is and was in the hypertensive range. We called her doctor (who also saved her life during an emergency c-section, but that’s a story for another day) and she told us to go straight to the hospital, they would be expecting us. Her blood pressure remained high for a couple of hours, but then dropped. We were optimistic to go home and were on track to do so. They took one more pressure before she was going to get discharged and it spiked again. Then again. Doctors orders, immediately admitted and administered magnesium sulfate (I think that’s the name of it. Please be graceful with me as this is stressful, my brain is clogged from restless nights with a newborn, and I’m obviously concerned for my fam). She has gotten some HBP medication and has been stable since. It’s going to be a long night, but all signs are pointing to a full recovery as of right now. I’m buying a Fitbit as soon as we are out of here. Whoever made this technology very well could have saved my wife’s life and kept my son from being without his mom. Idk who you are, but I owe you one, at the very least I’m going to be your next customer.

Tl;dr: wife has a Fitbit that gave her a notification that her heart rate was low postpartum. Got a high blood pressure reading and doctor got us to the hospital for preeclampsia treatment and she is on the up and up.


r/beyondthebump • • 8m left

Happy! How lucky I feel to be so needed by a tiny human

• Upvotes

1:30 am and I haven’t slept a bit because my little dude decided he wanted to sleep in my arms. Any time I put him down he cries, but he falls right asleep as soon as I pick him up. I’ll try again after his next feed to put him in his bassinet but these days go too fast for me to feel anything but love and happiness to be so sleep deprived because I’m needed by this tiny human


r/beyondthebump • • 31m ago

Advice Best ways to be supportive to my postpartum sister

• Upvotes

Hi everyone, my sister is 5 months pp and honestly has been so amazing taking on her new role as a first time mom. In the past she has struggled with body image issues so I knew that this would probably become an issue again at some point.

She is so hard on herself, never wants to be in pictures or go outside. I think she looks great for being 5 months postpartum and tell her all the time but she disagrees, I explained breastfeeding is not a miracle weight loss solution and I worry about her taking care of herself due to her negative view of her body. I want to encourage her to do more light exercise with me (walks and stretching) very easy things we can do together since we are super close and could be helpful with someone. Wanted to prevent her pulling muscles which has been happening a lot as well. I want to be very considerate of her feelings because in the past even suggesting a walk around the block was viewed as me judging her body and weight.

Looking for ways to be encouraging without it being an attack and make her feel as beautiful and amazed by what her body created, which in my opinion was a perfect baby boy! 😊 Tips, words of advice are all appreciated.


r/beyondthebump • • 1h ago

Baby Sleep - all input welcomed Rolling WHILE swaddled???

• Upvotes

I have an almost 10 week old baby. I’ve noticed that when he’s swaddled in his bassinet sleeping I find him rolled onto his side. It worries me because I’m wondering if I should stop swaddling. But he’s just over 2 months and most people say their babies don’t start rolling until 3 or 4 months. I am wondering if it is the way he’s swaddled? Because when he is not swaddled in his bassinet this does not happen. He also does not show any other signs of rolling on a regular day. I just want to make sure he’s safe when sleeping at night and if that means he needs to stop being swaddled then I will no longer.


r/beyondthebump • • 3h ago

Baby Sleep - all input welcomed My 2 month old has to rage-cry before falling asleep at night.

2 Upvotes

Title. Idk what to do anymore. This used to not happen, she would pretty much fall asleep easily at night, but now she is crying a lot and for so long even tho she's fed, changed and rocked to sleep. It only ever happens at night too. After she falls asleep (towards midnight), she pretty much sleeps until 5-7am. She doesn't have colic as far I know, so I feel discouraged. She's breastfed and gets also 2-3 bottles of formula per day given by my family to help me out.


r/beyondthebump • • 5h ago

Recommendations Breastfeeding Pacifiers?

3 Upvotes

Mamas who breastfeed, what pacifier worked for your baby? I’ve tried MAM, Avent Soothie, and NUK, but my little one refuses them all!

I’m looking for a paci that might help with soothing because every time I lay my baby down, they will wake up and want to latch onto the boob, but they’re not actually hungry. They’ll latch on and fall asleep within seconds!


r/beyondthebump • • 5h ago

Discussion 5 months pp. l am Gollum.

37 Upvotes

Straggly, greasy hair. Haunted eyes. Constantly hunched over and whispering. Covered in goop (milk? Puke? Poop? Sweat? Who knows?)

Yet still obsessed with my precioussss baby.

That is all.