I'm in my 30s and work in a relatively senior job on good money, my wife pretty similar situation but working 3 days a week. We've got a one year old. Our parents are lovely but nowhere near us.

I'm committed to being a 50% parent, so do half the drop-offs/pick-ups and make it back home for dinner every weekday. I tend to do bedtime most nights, and do more than half the childcare in the weekend to give my wife a proper break from her childcare days, and of course to hang out with the little guy.

But this set-up puts me in such a tight spot for overtime. I can squeeze in an earlier start some morning, and can usually work after 8pm when little one is asleep. But given he is bolt upright by 6am, working after 9:30pm starts to knacker me out if it's more than 1-2 evenings. I hate working weekends but there's no time now even if I had to.

I'm responsible for a lot of stuff at work, and given my job is client-facing, it's not fully predictable and deadlines are firm. I feel like I am going insane as I am constantly behind, and am rushing through my tasks during the day. I'm also finding it hard to do more strategic tasks at work as I have little flexibility to make time for thinking.

International work trips are also carnage... although I have started shipping my mum in to our house while I'm out, which seems to work.

I told my boss I'd like to go down to 4 days in a few months and she looked ashen and I realised that with the way things are set up right now it is going to be very hard to make it work. My boss/clients are mostly reasonable, don't chase me between 5-8pm etc, but I feel the role they need from me is a 10+hr/day affair and to do that AND be there for my family is really costing me sanity. And cutting corners to avoid the extra time is also stressful.

Is this just what professional parents have to deal with? I'm pretty stumped about what to do, other than finding whatever efficiencies I can to get things done in 9-5, working out what other tasks I can delegate.

TL;DR Professional in high pressure job realises that child adds extra pressure

Hello! We've read to our baby since birth, or tried to at least. He has no patience for stories - he'll listen to a page or two and that's it. He's 12mo.

On the plus side, he does love simple books where he can turn the pages. He turns the pages on the 'that's not my' books, and even joins in with feeling the textures sometimes.

I want to check - this is normal for a lot of children, isn't it?? I've heard other parents say "well, my baby loves books because we read to them since birth" and I find it frustrating, I did too!!! It doesn't mean they automatically love books!

Hi all, I’m in a bit of a pickle… my partner is working nights and I have landed a zero hour contract job where when I’m at the job my partner has to stay awake looking after the little one. This is obviously taking a toll on him as he’s so tired.

Little one has the funded childcare (15 hours) but it starts in January, we are trying to get a place in a nursery but they’re all currently on half term.

So until then I need to find a baby sitter - hopefully someone in a position to be able to come to our home and look after toddler whilst my partner is sleeping.

Does anyone know any reputable websites that are free to look for someone.

Unfortunately we have no village - partners parents are deceased, mine are poorly.

I’m really struggling and would appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced something similar.

My little boy is 14 months old and, before he got ill, he was generally a good sleeper. Since his first illness around two months ago, his sleep has been awful.
He wakes during the night and can be awake for around an hour at a time, screaming almost constantly. He’s fully awake and seems genuinely distressed.

We try to comfort him, but he screams even when we’re holding him. As soon as we put him back down in his cot, he starts screaming again. We end up going round in circles for ages trying to get him back to sleep. He’s generally fine during the day and eats normally, which makes it difficult to understand what’s going on.

We’re now two months into this, and I’m exhausted. I know sleep regressions happen, but is it normal for one to last this long and involve this much screaming?

Has anyone else’s toddler experienced something similar after an illness? Did it eventually improve, and was there anything that helped?

I’m planning to get him checked by the GP because I don’t want to assume it’s just a sleep regression, but I’d really appreciate hearing other people’s experiences. Please be kind, I’m really struggling at the moment.

Been thinking about this recently, and I've got a few.

I want to teach my child obscure colour names, that a 4 year old shouldn't know. Just for fun really, but a reception child blurting out burnt umber sounds quite funny to me.

I also want to teach her to read an analogue clock with hands, cos I think it's a very useful skill.

Third thing, is mine and my husband's phone numbers off by heart.

What about you?

I could very well be overthinking this so just wanted to get some more opinions on some Christmas logistics.

We have 2 kids - daughter is 5 and in reception and son will be almost 2 at Christmas.

My wife is working a 12 hour shift on Christmas day. This is not the first Christmas she has been working and previously we have just done our Christmas day on another day. So our first thought was to just push it back a day and celebrate on the 26th. Our 5yo is generally trusting of what we tell her so on one hand I think this shouldn't be too much of a problem but she also notices and remembers EVERYTHING so I fear this could go badly.

I think I've got 2 main points where we may come unstuck.

1. The advent calendar

2. Finding something to occupy both kids on 25th when everything is closed. I fear if we do any of our usual walks/parks then we will bump into other kids excited about what santa has brought when he won't have been to our house yet.

I'd like to preserve as much of the magic as possible but I also don't want to be trying to think up excuses on the spot if she starts to get suspicious.

Would you be upfront and say that santa is coming a day later because mummy is working? Or try to fool them that it isn't Christmas day until 26th (it has to be 26th this year)?

Has anyone got any thoughts or tips on what has worked in your family?

We have a daughter who is soon to be 11 months old and have had major issues with her sleep pretty much since birth. From a very early age, she has slept terribly both for her naps and overnight. She would cry loudly, writhe in pain, and arch her back. After several long weeks, we found the only method to get her to sleep was to bounce on an exercise ball while singing until she eventually stopped crying and dropped off.

We made several trips to the GP regarding this, but we were dismissed and told it was likely colic. At around 4–5 months old, we were finally referred to a paediatrician who took one look at her severe cradle cap and, based on her symptoms, diagnosed a cows' milk protein allergy (CMPA). After switching her diet, the writhing in pain settled, and we breathed a sigh of relief.

Eventually, we phased out the exercise ball around 6 months, but she still struggles massively and has never been able to sleep independently. For all naps, she must be held and often rocked to sleep, and then held for the duration. If transferred to the cot, she wakes up immediately.

At night, she must be held, sung to, and rocked. We hold her for 20 minutes to ensure she is in a deep sleep before transferring her. Even then, we get "false starts" anywhere from 10 to 90 minutes later. She wakes up crying hysterically, crawling, or standing in her cot until we pick her up and repeat the 20-minute hold.

We usually get 2 or 3 false starts before a longer stretch. She wakes between 11pm and 1am for a bottle, goes back down, and then either sleeps a couple of hours or wakes instantly. Out of pure exhaustion, anytime between 2am and 4am, we bring her into our bed to co-sleep so she can make it to 6am–7am. We know co-sleeping isn't ideal, but after 11 months of severe sleep deprivation, we just need to survive.

What we have tried that hasn't worked:

• Shush-patting: She just cries harder until picked up.

• Drowsy but awake: She just crawls, stands up, or cries. If we apply gentle pressure to keep her settled, she gets highly upset.

• Pick up, put down: She cries hysterically the moment she hits the mattress, and it takes 10–15 minutes to calm her down again.

• Other sleep locations: She will sleep in the car seat for an hour max, but absolutely refuses the pram or carrier.

We are both completely exhausted and haven't had a full night's sleep since she was born. We desperately need to find a way to help her sleep independently and for longer stretches, especially since my wife's maternity leave ends in a couple of weeks.

Would be eternally grateful if anyone has had similar experiences or any advice on how to improve her sleep!

TL;DR: 11-month-old had severe CMPA (now managed), but early pain created massive sleep associations. She must be held/rocked for all naps and bedtime, suffers multiple false starts a night, and we end up co-sleeping at 2am out of pure survival. Gentle sleep training methods have failed. Help!

Hi my little one (10 months) is very attached to a specific soft toy which he cuddles a lot and brings around with him!
I’ve found a back up hard to source but finally tracked a couple down on Vinted, it turns out it’s from B&M.

Just wondering if I should get one back up or a couple? He starts nursery soon so I think at least one more is vital - also for washing!

Also anyone know how long this phase could last?

Just is it worth getting 1 or 2 back ups? Thank you

Writing this out of sheer desperation at this point (currently 4.45am).

My recently turned 3 year old girl has started waking in the night every single night. Usually 3-4am. Screams the house down until she falls back asleep. I can’t understand why. Tonight she’s screamed, gotten out of her bed and demanded to go to her grandparents house! I’ve tried reasoning with her, getting in her bed with her, giving her a drink, taking her for a wee etc but she won’t give in until about 30-40 minutes after waking. I also have a 5 month old who doesn’t nap well in the day so to say I’m wrecked is an understatement.

She goes to the childminder 3 days a week which she loves, has a consistent routine. Up at 7am, doesn’t nap. She takes forever to go to bed at night, usually falling asleep by 9pm. At a minimum she is awake for 13 hours, most of the time 14 hours.

I just can’t understand what I’m doing wrong. She’s due to start sharing a room with her brother soon as he’s growing out of his next to me cot and we do not have room for a cot in our room so I’m just stumped on what to do

Having party at a pub in function room with a dj . I wanted to do a cake to mark the occasion as it is his 18th but his dad (who isnt really part of his life not for my wanting btw. Telling you this to add a little context not to be emotive ) says that a cake is a waste of time as he’s not 6 . What do people think ?? Am I being an embarrassing mum having a cake?
It will be something simple like cream colour with black and gold decs

My second child is 3 in February. He’s been a bad sleeper for quite a while but it’s really ramping up and I’m struggling big time. My sleep has never been good and once woken up I’m pretty much unable to fall asleep again.

Bedtime takes an hour of messing around with him eventually falling asleep around 9pm. He then wakes somewhere between 1am and 4am. And is fully awake for at least an hour. During this time he will come to my room, kick me, scream and cry until I get up with him and take him downstairs. After an hour or two he seems sleepy again so I can get him down by taking him back to my bed and lying with him (though usually this still takes 30 minutes). He then sleeps till 7.

I’m dead on my feet. I have a demanding 5 year old who needs a lot of attention and energy or he plays up badly. I have a full time job, and I’m currently decorating the house when I have time/energy.

This morning he woke me at 3am and fell asleep again at 4:30. I haven’t been able to get back to sleep.

Yesterday was better, he woke at 5am.

Monday morning he woke at 1am. I was unable to sleep again.

Sunday he woke at 5am.

A similar pattern for all of October and September.

Combined with the late bedtime he’s just absolutely squeezing me. I have about an hour to myself after bedtime to unwind (either TV or diy/painting) then I go to sleep before 11pm. There’s almost no other time in the day to utilise. Even if I take a day off work I’ll struggle to nap, and it’s not a lasting fix.

He still naps, but I cut this to max 1 hour to help bedtime. Occasional he drops it, but generally he needs it to not be a miserable prick.

I’m not sure how much longer I can do this for. Should I be reprimanding him? Keeping him awake longer in the evening? Wake him up at 6am? Dropping the nap entirely?

My older boy was nothing like this. Sure I was tired, but this feels like a whole new level - especially when they demand so much of me during the day. I’m starting to resent him because “no, I can’t chase you and play games with you because you won’t let me rest”.

Any constructive feedback very welcome. Don’t slag me off, I’m not in the mood, but I’m genuinely open to trying anything.

My son is pretty much potty trained at home but has no interest outside of the house. Dragging him to the toilet hourly kicking and screaming seems to be the only way to keep him dry but even that isn’t guaranteed. How do you deal with accidents outside of the house? We generally are keeping to kid friendly places but even then feel a little embarrassed with puddles on the floor.

It’s been a rough few months with sickness on all sides, travel, temporary accomodation and a holiday and I took the easy parenting road and placeted life with snacks

Now my already fussy 4yr old is asking for snacks 24/7 and I’m about to go cold turkey on it 🤣 Plan is a set “snack“ when he’s home from school (aka fruit and veggie sticks) then we’re waiting for dinner. Dinner is already a struggle but hoping if he’s hungrier he’ll also be more open to trying things again

I predict several very tedious days of whining and complaining and pray this too shall pass

Our 6month (tomorrow) sleeps to techno and EDM. Some random weird choices from Spotify recommendations, and not the baby techno as that is just weird.

I am wondering if it matches her heartbeat more, or the strong beat does it. I put classical and relaxing on for reading time and gentle play, but that definitely does not have the same effect. My drum teacher from when I was at school, I remember him saying he used to play big band drummers to get his baby asleep, like Buddy Rich and Gene Krupa.

Fourintheback and a napping baby, currently Red Alert by Basement Jaxx playing on the TV, I think the last sone was Blade?

My daughter 2.5 was referred literally a week ago by the HV to community paediatrics to go on the waiting list for an asd assessment, I’ve just had a phonecall off a nurse wanting to come and play with/observe her at home, which is absolutely fine by me, but it’s also not what I expected ? My son is autistic and was diagnosed 8 years ago now granted, but there was nothing like this, he just went to see the consultant at paediatrics once, I was given forms for nursery to fill in, then I had to go another day, answer lots of questions and he was diagnosed at the end of that appointment. I think I’m just shocked we’re already having someone come out to see us as I expected to be waiting a very long time before we saw anyone. I do have anxiety quite bad aswell (also autistic) and will work myself up thinking there is some ulterior motive to coming and seeing us at home rather than nursery… I know not rational but that’s just the way my brain works for some reason !

I did ask the nurse what will happen now and she said once this has been done, she will feed back to paediatrics and then I’ll be sent an appointment to go and see them, and they will then make a plan with me.
Any idea what this plan may be?!

Will be travelling around Green Park South Kensington area tomorrow with my son on public transport. Should I use a pram? He’s walking but sometimes he likes to wonder off on his own as well.

Bit random but won a couple tickets to a Halloween disco type thing for the kids but I can’t take mine today because my mom has something already booked for them so would hate for them to go to waste. It’s called the party peeps Halloween party and it’s at the Pittville Pump room.

Edit - wow, I was only asking a question. I know it doesn't all revolve around me and just because my child goes to bed at 7, it doesn't mean I don't like spending time with him. I just wondered why there weren't earlier ones for people with younger children/children who like going to bed earlier for whatever reason.

I understand people work, of course I get that! And perhaps I'll feel different next year when my child might be going to bed later. But at 3, it's lights out at 7 and I'd happily have him stay up, but he gets tired and grumpy and it's not like there's one where we live so we'd have to travel 15 mins by car.

Obviously it's not a big deal, he doesn't know he's missing out and it'll be cold and probably raining anyway. But it's dark by 5 o clock, why always wait till 7?! Why not 6?

I just wanted to find out whether this policy applies at anyone elses nursery or whether ours is particularly strict.
Basically if one of my children is unable to attend nursery due to illness the nursery asks that all my other children stay at home as well, even if they never get the same illness. I assume this is because of the incubation period of whatever illness the first child might have and the other ones potentially being contagious without symptoms but they obviously wouldn’t ask the same of another family whose children don’t attend the same nursery as they just wouldn’t know.

It’s becoming incredibly frustrating and is starting to affect my work as I’m constantly having to take time off. For example one of my children might have a fever that never develops into anything else but all the other children then have to stay home too, just in case. Of course I’m still paying for all their nursery places on those days.

Is this standard practice?

Hello, I am a mother to two - one 15 year old and one 12 year old, both boys. Recently my eldest had been invited to a Halloween party. He has never been to a party before. He assures me that he will be very careful, not drink too much, be home on time etc but I still have my reservations about letting him out of my sight in a place where there will be alcohol, possibly other substances, and little to no adult supervision. My son is quite sensible and I don't want him feeling left out or excluded by his peers, so I have given him permission to go providing he follows a strict curfew and stays relatively sober, but I am still extremely anxious. Does anybody have any advice? Or any ideas of things I can do to keep him safe without embarrassing him?

Edit: he has drank a little before, once in our house with a few friends when I was at home and supervising (not in the room but nearby and aware of what was going on), and once at a friend's house in a similar situation. He has never been overly drunk before and I have plenty of trust that he won't take it too far but it's the situation which alarms me.

My 2.5 yo has recently decided that EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE SHOUTED. Asking him to be quieter predictably just makes him louder. Ignoring him just makes him repeat himself over and over. He’ll interrupt conversations with shouting to be heard. I’m aware this is all typical twos behaviour but wondering how to introduce and reinforce concept of indoor voice at this age? The volume level in the house just goes up and up as my husband starts raising his voice to be heard too and then everyone is shouting and it’s absolutely driving me mad!

Anyone know what nursery rhyme this is supposed to be? It’s four numbered bags hanging from a tree, not sure if the tree is relevant or not to be perfectly honest. Have posted it on the parent group chat and everyone is stumped!

Others we’ve found on the trail have been things like:
Incy wincy
Row row row your boat
Humpty Dumpty
Dingle dangle scarecrow
Miss Polly had a dolly
Little Bo Peep
Mary Mary quite contrary
Baa Baa black sheep
Hickory dickory
Hot cross buns