Just as the title states, I(31F) am pregnant again. Wouldn't be the biggest deal but this is my third pregnancy in the last 3 years. I've been on birth control since I was 16, I've never wanted children. My partner (35M) doesn't want children. I take my birth control at 9PM every night, I work at the pharmacy so I know I'm not getting the wrong stuff or my partner is "tampering" with it or anything like that. The first one was a miscarriage, the second I got an abortion. And now here I am again. I don't know why this keeps happening. I live in Texas, my GYN doesn't even know I had an abortion because I'm terrified to tell her. I'm so nervous to tell my partner because we haven't even been having sex a lot recently so it's like we had sex twice in September and boom I'm fucking pregnant. I don't know what to do and I literally have no one I can talk to about this

honestly don’t even know how to process what happened tonight, and I think I just need to talk about it somewhere.

I went on a second date tonight with a guy I met on a dating app. He seemed really great, we were having a good time, and we ended up back at my place having consensual sex.

Then, in the middle of having sex, while he was behind me, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. This man was holding his phone sideways and recording himself having sex with me. I had absolutely no idea he was doing it. I had not consented to being recorded. I was consenting to sex, not to being filmed.

I immediately confronted him and screamed at him to get out. I made him show me that he had deleted the video, but obviously I have no way of knowing what happened to it or whether there are other copies. I called the police, and they came to my apartment and took a report. They have since left, and I’m sitting here trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened to me.

I’m genuinely traumatized by this. I keep thinking about how normal the evening felt before that moment and how quickly everything changed. I trusted this person enough to invite him into my home and be intimate with him, and I never imagined I would have to worry about something like this happening.

I don’t even know what to call what happened. Sexual violation? Nonconsensual recording? I know I didn’t consent to being filmed, but I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that someone I was willingly having sex with would do this without my knowledge.

The timing of this is also awful because I’ve already been struggling so much with work and burnout. I’ve been trying to figure out how to get my life to a more sustainable place, and now this has happened on top of everything else. I can’t even think straight right now.

I don’t know how to tell people about this. It’s such an uncomfortable, intimate thing to have to explain, and I don’t want to have to manage everyone else’s reactions while I’m trying to process my own. I know I need support, and I’m reaching out to my therapist, but I feel so overwhelmed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you process it? How did you talk about it with friends or family without feeling like you had to explain every detail? And how did you deal with the uncertainty about whether the recording was actually deleted?

I don’t need anyone to tell me what I should have done differently. I did nothing wrong by trusting someone I was dating. I just genuinely don’t know what to do with all of this right now.
What the actual fuck.

She is in her 60s and apparently has 2 kids. She is severely developmentally delayed. Can’t walk, eat herself and is contracted. She was born disabled. She has no idea what is going on.

Who had sex with her? Are they in prison? Probably not! This is infuriating.

It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. I’m in a new relationship of two months and it’s happening again. He is making fun of some things I say, calling me weird/autistic, and even making fun of the food I keep in my house. This always happens to me at some point. I never make fun of them. If you don’t like me anymore just break up with me. I just cannot do this anymore. Why are they so mean?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/alexander-brothers-sentenced-sex-trafficking/

I was diagnosed with lupus 12 years ago. I luckily have been in drug free remission for 2 years now. I live in a blue state, but a rural part of a blue state

However, the entire time I was sick and diagnosed, doctors told me I cannot get pregnant, its a 50/50 chance that lupus will get better or it will get worse. I have a blood clotting disorder with lupus, so anytime I had surgeries, it was an extra step to do even a gallbladder surgery (for example)

When I was in the throngs of my illness, I asked for sterilization. I saw multiple doctors in my 20s, and they all told me I was too young to make such a big decision (even tho I have an incredible disease, with added complications)

Now I'm 32 years old, Ive had ovarian cysts rupture 3 times since may, and Ive had cysts monitored since February (obviously theres pain, and other symptoms to go to the doctor/er)

I went to a surgeon today- he said its ridiculous Ive had to wait until Im older to get the tubal removal surgery, especially considering but also, the FDA didnt have long term info when they green lit IUD's they didnt look past 2 years- he told me many women around my age (early 30s) have had the same side effects and its frustrating to him, because he has to follow the guidelines (which i understand) but my surgeon said "youre basically a lab rat until they have enough information to change what theyre doing"

he went through past logs with me- one said "patient <25> has 50% chance of having pregnancy to completion, with complications, does not need sterilization because of age." i was denied any kind of surgeries ive asked for- and was given the IUD.

im thankful my surgeon is on the same page as me- he said because of the current commander in chief, i have to wait at least 30 days to get my sick reproductive organs taken out, because they require the woman to understand that its a permanent decision- he said if i was a man, id probably get in tomorrow- but now i have to go back to my primary doctor (who i just saw last week to get this referral) to do a pre-op appointment before the surgery thats in December to take out my sick reproductive parts.

ETA: im in a rural part of a well known always blue state

I was outside trying to figure out how to turn on my water heater when I heard a faint flirtatious whistling sound. You know, the classic "woo-woo" except, they weren't good at it. I turned around to where the sound was coming from and saw the neighbor in te window quickly duck out of sight. Creeped out I started walking back inside only to hear them do it again.

I didn't get a good look at the face, they moved away too fast. They could have been a teenager or a kid but they seemed adult height judging by where they were in the window.

I've heard the voices of a woman and little girl (probably a toddler) coming from that house before.

Whatever the case it made me really uncomfortable. I'm an adult woman but I'm 4'10" and I was wearing baggy clothes, I could have easily passed as a teenager from that far away which makes it even creepier.

What would you do in this situation? Confront them or hope it doesn't happen again?

Edit: I'm doubly uncomfortable because of the way the houses sit, this neighbor has direct line of sight into my kitchen and home. Now I feel like I have to be hypervigilant and keep my curtains closed all the time. ):

Misogyny seems to come with the job if you’re a female mayor in New Jersey. And often, so do threats of violence and graphic sexual harassment. That abuse has had a chilling and destabilizing effect on the most fundamental level of government. And in the most extreme cases, it can even push community leaders out of public service, imperiling democracy in the Garden State.

Berlin Township Mayor Phyllis Magazzu has lived it. So has Penns Grove Mayor La’Daena Londo. And Jackson Mayor Jennifer Kuhn knows it all too well.

They’re just a sampling of 12 female mayors who told NJ.com they have experienced everything from subtle sexist remarks and name-calling to alarming threats of rape and violence and even wishes of harm on their children — some requiring a police response and around-the-clock vigilance.

And that doesn’t include one mayor being stalked with AirTags affixed to her car. Another who won’t attend public events without a police presence. And a third who drives a block or so to council meetings because police asked that she no longer walk from home.

“It doesn’t stop me from doing my job, but it is unnerving,” said Cranford Mayor Kathleen Prunty.

Even mayors in their 70s aren’t immune.

“I got about 6 inches of meat for her and that cease and desist,” one local man wrote in a disturbing Facebook comment referring to Magazzu.

​

The men I've known were not all bad, but the people who hurt me were mostly men.

You will never win the contest of being the hottest woman alive, and that should be a relief. I stopped trying and started wearing what satisfies me. In my experience, most people care far less about your clothes than you think.

Beautiful women get cheated on too. I learned that it says more about the person cheating than about how hard you try. Trying harder to look a certain way never protected me.

I used to believe that being desired was something I had to earn and keep. I now see that being wanted and being valued are two different things, and I stopped confusing them.

Learn what limerence is and how to recognize it. It can sneak up on you, and I wish I had known sooner.

Good people exist. I've met a few, and they are worth far more than the ones who made me work for scraps.

Be careful with your photos. If you ever share something private, assume it could be seen by more people than you intended. I wish someone had told me that.

After my pregnancy, I learned how much hormones and exhaustion change your body and your desires. I wish I had been more prepared for how much support I would need, and I recommend having a plan that does not depend on one person.

Trying to be what someone wanted never made them love me. It only left me feeling used. I stopped chasing approval from people who were never going to give it.

I learned that some people can lie convincingly and play a long game. Trust actions over words, and give it time.

Casual encounters left me feeling empty. That might not be true for everyone, but it was true for me, and I wish I had listened to myself sooner.

Everyone who ever hit me hit me again, more than once. If someone has hurt you, believe what they show you

I’m 31F and I keep running into the same pattern in relationships. I’d love an honest perspective.

For example, I’m currently dating someone. At the start, he was very into me: flirty, complimenting me, always wanting to meet up. Around the 3-4 month mark, things shifted. He got colder and stopped complimenting me. He still initiates meetups, but he’s not as excited as before, he doesn’t seem very engaged however he doesn’t end things. I end up feeling like I’m the only one putting in effort emotionally.

It’s happened more than once, so I’m wondering if I’m doing something that contributes to it. For context, I’m very pretty (I’ve been told this many times, also by strangers on the street so I’m not just saying it), I’m caring, I like giving gifts and doing thoughtful things, and I’d describe myself as funny, smart and easygoing.

Those are the traits that attract guys to me in the first place, but somehow I can’t keep them interested long term. I’m wondering if I should be harder to get, keep some distance, or even play games. Or maybe the opposite: stay the way I am and see how things go. I honestly don’t know whether I’m doing something that pushes them away.

Right now I’m with a guy I really like. I just miss how he was in the first two months, and I’d love to get that energy back, but I don’t want to push him away more.

I’ve already tried talking to him. I asked if any thing was going on in his life, and he didn’t open up and said there’s nothing. I also told him I’d noticed the shift, and he said everything was the same and didn’t engage in the conversation. He’s just passive about it.

Should I give him space, let things play out, or pull back a little myself?

there is this junior of mine who is really good at chess like really good to the point he thinks he is above everybody. last year when I asked him if we could practice together for our sports meet, I couldn't win a single match against him and when i asked him if we could play together someday even after our sports meet, he straight up ignored me

now coming back to the current timeline, he reached out to me in chess.com and said he wanted to play with me. i haven't played as much as I used to but i said yes. but he was just trying to make a fool out of me. "try to play serious for once" "i can play without my queen" "you wouldn't be able to win even if i play without my queen" like he was just blatantly disrespectfu and was just messing around with me. i couldn't stand it and asked him why he was playing with someone like me in the first time if he knew I wasn't as good as him and you know what he said "i just want to practice how to checkmate with my rook and my king while playing with you" and that was it. i didn't want to be used like a prop for someone's hobby so i didn't accept any of his challenge req after that. i played for one whole hour and ignored his lame ass. and today he removed me as his friend as his fragile ego couldn't handle it lmao. what a fcking joke.

he is lucky that I've already graduated. men needs to stop with their god complex, you're not special.

My first colonoscopy prep starts tomorrow, and I’m wondering what to expect and when to expect it. How soon will things start moving once I’ve taken my pills and how long will it last? I live in a tiny apartment so I’m pretty close to the bathroom, but should I lay a sheet or something down on the sofa just in case? I’ve been following the low-residue diet since Monday. Thanks and sorry for the TMI. EDIT: THANK YOU to everyone I haven’t gotten to! I feel much better about tomorrow.

I am a natural night owl. However I found that I enjoy morning walks and getting my morning coffee. It’s such a motivating factor in my day.

Anyway my sleep schedule has been awful these past few months. I work a regular 9-5 but I’m able to sleep in if I don’t have anything due or any meetings and sometimes I find myself working past 10 just to catch up since I also thrive at night it works well.

I also work from home 70% of the time. I need to push myself to go into work more often but it’s hard given that I’m always sleeping in the morning and fall asleep at 1 am.

I’m so tired of feeling sleepy.

On weekends since I don’t have much to do I sleep in until 11 am or 1 pm and feel so great.

I’m gonna start working Saturday mornings as well as studying for my exams so I just need to set a schedule.

Girls who have it figured out. What are your hacks?

Yesterday I went to bed at 6 pm and I woke up at 12 am and cleaned a little and fell back asleep at 1 pm and woke up at 4 pm. Gonna clean and work a little to catch up and maybe sleep around 11.

I’m trying to clean my space and make it feel more homey given that that can also be a factor in why I feel so all over the place

I’m just feeling really exhausted and needed to vent. I (31F) have never had a relationship last longer than a year.
I am very direct about what I want: a serious relationship leading to commitment. Because of this, I choose to wait a long time (up to a year) before having sex. But it feels like every time the honeymoon phase ends and real conversations about the future begin, men lose interest. It’s almost like once they realize there are no "physical benefits" or shortcuts from my side without a real commitment, they walk away. Either that, or I keep running into men with major issues or mismatched intentions.
I realized that I now enter relationships fully expecting the guy to lose interest at some point, and I just can't get past the feeling that no one is ever going to stay with me long-term.
I look around and feel like everyone else has figured out long-term love, while I’m stuck wondering if I'm the problem.
Should I start offering sex earlier just to get them to stay? Is my approach completely outdated, or am I just weeding through the wrong crowd?
I’d love to hear from anyone who has felt this way or navigated a similar situation.

Some time back, one of my friends/ new acquaintance in my new city told me something that I could not shake off to this day. We were having a girls' sleepover and were playing drunk Truth & Dare, and I was having a blast meeting such cool people. During one of my turns, I chose Truth, and I got asked, 'What's your biggest fear in relationships?'

Now, I had been through some gut-wrenching similar experiences of being emotionally/physically betrayed, and so I answered, 'betrayal'. To which she asked me for more details in between just the 2 of us, and I, being under the influence of alcohol and good vibes, gave a brief of my dating history. After listening to me, she kinda derisively (I might be wrong, but that's how I felt) smiled and asked, 'So, why do you always choose such men?' I started feeling very vulnerable suddenly, as I didn't have an appropriate answer to her question cause honestly, why do I not see the signs? How can I fail at this every single time? She's a few years older than me and has been in a relationship from a very young age, almost a decade now, which is impressive from my pov. She obviously knows the art of choosing wisely, and idk, maybe she was trying to make me aware of my own actions, and probably it was said in good faith, but I cannot help but shake the feeling of being uncomfortable every time I see her ever since.

To date, I regret sharing the deets with her, but at the same time I cannot help but question myself-- what if she is right and it's kinda my fault that I choose the wrong people, as it's been proved time and again. Is there a way to learn how to choose wisely?
But I still cannot entirely digest her question cause it made me feel kinda accountable for failing at relationships, and also because she closed the conversation with the age-old, 'dw tho, yk it happens when you're least expecting it' in a very dismissive way, which again, I wanna give her the benefit of the doubt as said in good faith, but most women in LTR genuinely do not understand how annoying this phrase starts to sound to someone who has been burnt one too many times!

For the last 5-6 years, my pap smears have been positive for the HPV strain that can be linked to cancer. As a result, I have to get annual testing, go for a colposcopy, and usually have to get a cervical biopsy as well.

I had a LLETZ procedure one year, but have not needed to any other year.

Anyway, I find the biopsies painful. I have expressed this to the doctors, and even wrote to the health minister of our state about it, and that it's ludicrous pain relief isn't offered. It was suggested to me that I should take paracetamol.

I need to know that I'm not alone here. Do others also find them painful and the doctors are all just dismissing these claims (as usual)? Or am I just particularly sensitive?

[TW] Verbal Abuse Mention

I (30sF) was at McDonalds today and a couple was sitting beside me (they looked early 20s). The couple was straight. The woman kept talking down to her boyfriend, saying things like “are you trying to make me mad on purpose or are you just that stupid?” (She had a cracked phone screen and they were discussing whether the screen or just the protector were broken. He was very soft spoken so I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but she was explaining to him in a rude fashion abt how just bc the screen protector is broken doesn’t mean the screen can’t also be broken, if this matters). She just kept calling him stupid in different ways, then said smth along the lines of “you’re lucky I’m with you bc I’m the only one who would put up with your stupidity.” She also was calling him names, I don’t remember what it was exactly, something like “fuck-head.” It was upsetting to listen to, but I was worried that if I said something it would only make things worse for him. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. What do you think would be the best thing to do in that situation?

Has anyone read the ABC article about the Westpac Rescue Helicopter culture review?

I’m honestly disgusted by how they’ve presented the findings.

20% of staff surveyed had experienced or witnessed sexual harassment,

28% bullying, and there were serious issues with how complaints were handled.

Yet somehow the messaging is all about how they don’t have a toxic workplace culture.
Seriously?
They’ve only released 33 pages of a 207-page report & NSW Parliament has now requested the full thing.
I’d also love to know what the figures look like when broken down by gender, especially in such a male dominated workplace.

And another thing, what about women who had previously signed NDAs following workplace complaints? Were they able to participate freely in the review & talk openly about their experiences? If not, how can the review possibly capture the full extent of what was happening?

I just keep thinking about the women who came forward & shared their experiences, only to see the Westpac rescue helicopter present the findings like this.
How is this acceptable?

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-10-27/northern-nsw-rescue-helicopter-culture-review/107314676

Hello!

I'm 31 and have noticed literally in the last 2 weeks that I've started randomly leaking a bit? Not even when I have to pee too bad but just randomly. I noticed it first because I was out after lunch and it felt worse because it felt more noticeable but then I noticed it happened a few times even at home. If I sneezed or coughed or laughed.

For context I also have vaginismus which makes my pelvic floor extremely tight and painful for any kind of penetration so I've had physio for the opposite of kegels so Im so confused by this sudden change.

I havent gained any weight, changed my diet or anything really significant for months.

I live in Ontario Canada and have a family doctor I just signed up with coincidentally which should help but has anyone had to deal with this unrelated to menopause? I also have super normal and regular periods.

Another post I saw around mentioned potential UTI ( I have no symptoms so Im not sure is that a thing?) and also maybe cysts can put pressure and do that? Just freaking out a bit tbh. Any suggestions or perspectives help!

I (23F) and my bf (28M) have been together for a few years now and despite what the title may say, our sex life is pretty amazing. Our libidos are pretty in sync, both of us love pleasuring the other but I just can't finish during sex unless I touch myself.

He would never shame me for that and he tells me he likes to watch me when I do it, but it's been a little bit frustrating that it's the only way I can actually reach an orgasm. And even for that I have to touch myself in a very specific way.

He touches me and stimulates my clitoris and gives me oral, and both of it feels amazing, but I just can't finish from it. Do I need to "rewire" my brain to get used to diffedent stimulation?