I haven't really had much of a chance to discuss this with the people in my life and I hope my partner doesn't find this but whatever. My partner recently lost his father in a freak accident while at work and he had to fly out of state to see his mother and sister and help with the fallout. Since he was having to travel so suddenly I couldn't immediately join when he got the news, but we both agreed that I would fly out and support him while his family figure things out. His mother also had her sisters fly out to join them for support since his parents had only recently moved out of state to be closer to his sister, her husband and their two young kids.

We were staying with his mom and specifically in his parents' room because she wasn't ready to sleep in the bed she shared with her husband and every night my partner would ask if she was ready because we were more than happy to sleep in the guest room and every night she would decline.

On one of the days of the trip, I slept in while his family went out for breakfast and I get a call from him letting me know that his sister is coming by to drop off extra food they had in their fridge, that's it. He comes back home and lets me know he needs to look in his dad's office for work documents. While he's looking, she gets to the house and had brought her 1yr old boy. Suddenly she starts to search for documents as well because "I feel like I need to be a part of this." She asks me if I can keep and eye on her baby and my partner, knowing I'm childfree and staunchly against looking after babies specifically, asks if he could look after the baby while I help her in their dad's office. She refuses and I'm stuck with him and as soon as his mom leaves starts to cry. She comes back claiming it's because he's hungry, and tells me she'll get me a bottle to feed him. Upon noticing the distress and discomfort on my face, she asks "Wait... do you not want to do this?" I freeze and don't answer and this sets her off. She then starts yelling at me about "He was my dad! He's not your dad! You shouldn't be the one doing this! Just fake it, bro" I retreat and manage to overhear her say "Nothing is sacred. All these people that didn't even know dad are here. People that didn't know him are sleeping in his bed." and my partner proceeds to tell her she has to leave.

Mind you, I spent the holidays with his family the year prior. Part of why she did it is because she does see me as a stranger, but I believe it's in part because I think she harbors resentment over the childfree status of my partner and I overall and specifically that he doesn't have to take care of a baby and toddler while also dealing with the loss of a parent and its aftermath. Anyways I haven't spoken to her since and there's a chance they might fly in for the holidays and I'm not sure how to proceed.

EDIT: Apparently I struck a nerve with some of yall. I never said I was mad at her and I'm allowed to have thoughts on why something that hurt me deeply happened. I cried for days wishing I could be like my partner who is a wonderful uncle to his nephews and look after them, but I don't think I could've cared for him the way my partner, the baby's mother, father and grandma, or my partner's aunt could've. I don't know why she brought him over when the rest of the family were at her house. I don't know why she refused my partner's offer. What she said was hurtful but I understand how it happened. How it came to that situation or how to proceed is where I'm at a loss. My only crime is speculation and posting on reddit about it. Also, I do go to therapy and I'm incredibly lucky to have a therapist that's kind to me.

I'm kinda exhausted of the fencesitter posts or posts of people who are currently pregnant and unsure what to do with their situation. I don't recall this community being for that. I thought this community was for people who are ALREADY COMFORTABLE with their decision of being childfree, and the discussion of being childfree and navigating life together where children are heavily socially forced onto us.

If I'm misunderstanding the point of this subreddit, then I'll admit I'm in the wrong and should probably leave it. I really do feel like these posts are just populating the subreddit more than anything lately.

In a Washington, DC sub, a pregnant woman's all bent out of shape that people don't offer her a seat on the subway during commutes to and from work.

Uhhhhh, ma'am, people are tired, they're cranky, they want to get to where they're going, they're in their own heads. To ask them to focus their eyes on you is selfish.

Of course, I'll help if she asks (nicely). But I'm not gonna go out of my way to look at you and think about your situation when I haven't had my coffee or if my day has worn me out and I wanna get home to my cat. God, some parents are so selfish.

(39F) (35 M). My boyfriend read my bio that i was child free but still pursued me. I even told him on our first date i do not want children and should think seriously about pursuing me. He kept asking me on dates and a week later said that he was okay with it and wanted to be with me. He introduced me to his friends, spoke to his family about me and made future plans with me. A week later he came back and said he told his family I dont want kids and they were not happy about it and even said there were other ways to have kids because I had a total hysterectomy. I said no and he broke up with me. On our third date he pointed out a lot of women wanted him so why not go after one of them instead of coming after me? Why did he even bother to court me and make me his gf? I feel lied to and manipulated.

Does anyone else just immediately lose respect for someone as soon as you hear they want kids?

I try very hard to be an understanding nonjudgmental person but when it comes to people having kids right now I find it impossible not to judge. I’ve never wanted kids and have always felt it was wrong to have them in almost every circumstance but it was also understandable until recently. The world is an absolute mess, climate change seems to have reached a point of no return, and the list goes on. The fact that people can be so selfish as to bring another person into the world for them to suffer makes me feel physically ill

I went in at 6:05 AM this morning with my husband for my bisalp, and everything went so well! I was stressed out because it would be my first surgery, and every time I got a little overwhelmed I would just think, "this is so much safer and better than pregnancy and childbirth!" SO HAPPY I will never have to go through that shit. Nobody at the hospital made me feel judged at all, everyone was surprisingly very kind. I live in an extremely conservative state so I was worried about pushback, but everything went great! My husband has been taking care of me. Insurance should cover most of it, and if they don't I'm gonna fight it.

Just wanted to share a slice of good news with people who would understand. God I'm so happy. I feel like a free woman!

Im a woman and one of the only married people in my social circles who has chosen to remain child free. I do dread when anyone announces their pregnancies (because why though?????). What I cannot understand is other people’s obsession with trying to guess that someone is pregnant before they announce it. We had a friend recently share of their pregnancy and two people said “I knew it”! I’m an observant person and very intuitive in general but I give absolutely zero effort or energy into discretely watching whether someone has an alcoholic drink or not at the restaurant, whether their belly is growing or they’re wearing baggier clothes than usual to hide it, whether they are “glowing” or give a vibe they might be pregnant. This leaves me feeling like a bad friend, like maybe I’m not as in tune or observant, but at the end of the day I think I’m just so tired. Tired of the dumpster fire of a world we live in, tired of friends having children, tired of giving everything to the people around me and not getting a lot in return. Added the “support” flair to this but I guess it’s more of a “rant”. The exhaustion never ends.

I’m in my late 30’s, single, childfree. I have done a lot of self-awareness work on figuring out my worth and what I want and who I am. Of course, I’m still evolving and learning, but right now I live in peace. Creating a post with 10 Things I Appreciate about being Childfree! In no particular order:

1) my money is mine. I can DoorDash, donate, save, and pay the plumber as I need. It doesn’t mean I don’t worry about my money, but kids aren’t part of it.

2) I decide when I want to go to bed and when I take naps. Sleep is glorious.

3) I never have to pay for a babysitter

4) no pressure to be a PTA mom or bake cupcakes for a school party

5) my Spotify wrapped is all my music choices, the good & weird. No children’s music included

6) I have chronic illness and can barely take care of myself some days. Thank goodness I can focus on my health when I need to.

7) white bed sheets and linens. Less chance of spills in my house (knock on wood)

8) a quiet Christmas morning all to myself with coffee, my sparkling tree, vintage music carols on in the background, and a cozy blanket

9) I get to have adult conversations with my other child free friends without interruptions

10) I just bought myself orange roses for Halloween and I get to eat all the candy Twix bars that I want.

What are your fave things??

I think about this an it lowkey makes me sad. I want more for my fellow humans. I’m not saying it isn’t an achievement, but when you treat it like your only achievement you’re cutting yourself short.

I don’t know, I wrestle with this one in my head and am curious to hear other childfree opinions.

I create content online that affirms making an informed decision about becoming a mother. And every once in a while a Mom will comment something like: “Childfree women think they know what it’s like to be a Mom, but you truly have no idea until you do it.”

Then my comment section lights up with comments like: "No! YOU had no idea what it was like until you did it, we thought it through and decided against it" or "misery loves company".

Honestly, I cannot blame my community for jumping down these mom's throats because it's dismissive and just plain wrong. Childfree women have some idea of what it's like. You know?

You don't need to have been on the train to understand a trainwreck. How do you respond when you get comments like "You don't know what it's like to be a Mom until you do it, so whatever you think about motherhood is pointless".

Today I went shopping; and while waiting for my drink at the coffee shop, the lady behind me ordered a drink and was telling the lady working how much she hated her kids. This went on for 20 minutes! I was blown away. And here I am, 30 years old, carrying a beautiful expensive local hand printed shopping bag, no kids, sipping a latte, wearing my fanciest pants and high end shoes…just went shopping for fancy skin care, protein drinks and bs I don’t need. I am reaffirmed every day!

Saw a local post asking for recommendations on free or cheap parking near the hospital for when they have their baby. It's $10 to park all day in the onsite hospital garage. $5 if you walk a block or two. She mentioned "last time" they got lucky and found free parking. In what universe do you have a child and you can't afford to spend $50 or whatever to park while you pop out another one?

It’s really not that serious, but I saw an instagram reel of a mom complaining that while they have football playing in the background that none of the commercials are family friendly anymore. She specifically geared it towards her kids being afraid of the horror movie ads, which oh by the way it’s Halloween on Saturday, probably the best time to release horror films.
Correct me if I’m mistaken but ads during sporting events have always been boobs, beer, and gambling. It’s never really been family friendly.
Just because they’re too lazy to mute the tv, change the channel, or talk to the kids about movies not being real, doesn’t mean the world needs to cater to the children. Maybe put on bluey or whatever kids like instead.

TLDR: parents expect everyone else to shield their kids from what they deem inappropriate & I think that’s trash.

I know someone who I used to call a friend and she desperately wants to be a mom even though she's a hot mess and in deep shit right now. She's jobless, mentally unstable, and always complains about how her family is making her feel overwhelmed. She also keeps whining about how her financial situation is shit but SHE STILL WANTS TO GET PREGNANT like what the actual f*ck! Forgive my language but this is beyond insane..

Equal parts excited and nervous. Mostly nervous to see how the scarring looks/heals - is that vain to say? I know they are going to be small but still! I really like my stomach!

I’m 34 and have struggled with birth control options since I got put on the pill at 14. Had an accidental pregnancy (and abortion) at 21. At the time my doctor wouldn’t even entertain the conversation of permanent sterilization and I didn’t advocate for myself or push for it.

This year for my annual exam I had a new doctor. She very briefly asked my experiences with bc and after hearing them, she asked if I ever considered permanent options. She encouraged me to book a pre op consult before I left the office that day. My consult was today, the doctor asked me about 10 questions mostly regarding understanding of the procedure and standard consent forms. With less than 30 minutes in the office, everything was submitted and she let me know they’d be in touch to schedule me.

Got the email an hour later. December 1st. Merry Christmas to me!!! A huge shout out to the women and doctors at Penn Medicine in Philadelphia for making this experience so smooth. I don’t have many people in my life that understand how exciting this is for me so I wanted to share here.

Some time ago I was on sub that doesn't like work (I am not sure if I am allowed to name it here) and I read this one post about woman who was begging for help because she just had a newborn and she got laid off.

In post she said how she was working this job for long time and she slowly watched her coworkers get laid off one by one and feared for her job, and then recently she decided she wanted to have a baby and (to no ones surprise, well actually maybe to hers only) she got laid off.

She has no savings, she didn't look for new job while she had time and watched her coworkers get laid off one by one, she has no plan now and was begging for help there.

I don't have any patience for idiots since 2020 and this post pissed me off so much that I wrote a comment saying something along the lines off "Why would you do that to yourself when you watched what happened to your coworkers and it was obvious you would be next? Why did you have a baby instead of preparing for inevitable? I can't understand people who have kids and do this to themselves in 2026 when it's obvious world is only gonna get worse from now on. I am sorry but this one is on you."

I was instantly attacked by everyone saying "F off antianalist", "Don't tell others when they can or can't have children", "What is wrong with you???", "Your parents shouldn't have had you either", etc. I responded to comments such as "Now it's not the time for this" by saying how if she doesn't get told this now after she gets help she will do same thing again and have another baby and we will be back here again but to no avail. I just kept getting insulted in every reply.

I could understand her if her company was BSing her about how company is doing better than ever and how her job will be safe for long time, etc like companies do these days (my parents had this happen to them where company thanked everyone with huge lunch saying how they made record profits and their jobs were safe and then days later told them company is moving to other country and they all no longer have jobs.) but that didn't happen obviously.

She knew what was coming and I'm sorry but she gets 0 sympathy from me.

I read an article the other day that said that being emotionally dependant on your pet is not healthy, that you basically "shouldn't" make your happiness dependant on the wellbeing of your pet.That some owners become hyper vigilant of their pets and might need therapy cause they might have an anxious attachment to them. And while I was reading I was like.... 😒

People have children ALL THE TIME with the intention of getting purpose, happiness, love, not die alone etc..and it's the "healthiest" thing ever, "you'll get a love you can't compare with anything else 😌"

But oh no God forbid you use a dog for that...alert the church elders

Or your job, because then you are a workaholic.

Or video games because then you are a geek and a loser.

Or alcohol because you are sick and need to go to AA.

Or shopping because consumerism it's an addiction to try to fill up a hole.

Or football because it lame to enjoy sweaty guys running for a ball.

Or social media because you need to touch some grass.

Or traveling because then your are an irresponsible person with commitment issues

Like... HOW IS EVERYONE SEEN AS SICK EXCEPT THEM????

So basically we are all lame broken losers that need therapy, but people that just live for their children and have the heaviest anxious attachment to them, "oh no,.those are good loving parents healthy members of our community 😌"

Give me a break....

One of the things I like about Chile is that the only people who have children are in the upper classes. It’s very rare for a poor woman to start demanding grandchildren, especially when the economic situation is really bad.

Recently, the local press has been publishing articles about the alleged birthrate crisis. I don't recall reading anything on the subject before 2025. (if you ask me, I don't believe in the birthrate crisis)

It's been crazy these past few days. Local authorities have decided to grant prison privileges to 56 child abusers and 2 torturers (former military who have kidnapped people during Pinochet dictatorship). Many men are free right now.

When Jose Antonio Kast's administration began, they had promised to release people who had committed crimes against humanity. They are fulfilling their campaign promise. This was no secret. But the people decided to vote for these kinds of people.

The other day I posted about the situation of therapeutic abortion in my country. In chile, abortion for free choice is not legal. But conservative politicians say that abortion is freely available and that it should be banned. They want to ban abortion for health reasons.

This subreddit is about the childfree lifestyle. But we're living in very dark times. Please, don't have children.

So...there's this long-standing trope in literature and cinema that the "weird" one is actually the normal one, and it's the world that's crazy. I feel like that's the case with us childfrees. To me, it seems nuts to create a person and devote your life to them. Being single and childfree gives me the freedom to spread my love and good cheer to lots of people.

I lived that with my parents. They were not abusive by any means, and if it already bothers me imagine if my parents had worse mental illness. Everyone automatically thinks its ableism when I say hey if you have xyz mental illness that's really severe maybe don't have kids? I don't agree with laws that take away bodily autonomy but that doesn't mean you deserve the kids or that my judgement is ableism.

If I said if you are too poor to feed yourself you should not be actively thinking about making a baby. They automatically think classism.

Why is our world acting like everyone should have kids and if you speak out against it then you are evil or something?

And here's what's stupid. Every society does believe that some people shouldn't have kids. Felons etc.

But somehow, as long as you aren't hurting others, its fine to hurt your kids with poverty and your violent mental illness. So called child lovers really don't care about kids. They see them as property. I deserve to have kids! And if you judge me you are claiming I'm not entitled to my god given right to make a child suffer!

People who break up over kids are odd. Don't get me wrong. Better for the people but its still baffling.

Like people talk about kids like they are stuff.

"I want a child and I'm not getting any younger". these type of people will jump in bed with anyone who will make a baby with them.

I have friends like that so of course I don't tell them how messed up that sounds but its so odd. Then there's the people who end 10 year relations just cause they suddenly want a baby. Its insane. You don't even know the kid. Of course I'm not saying they should be forced to stay. Just that people are odd

I’m child free but I always somehow end up taking care of my nephews one and 6 months, I love them but Jesus Christ being expected to be all happy as they poop everywhere, hit you, scream in your ear, throw up on you, scream and cry when you try to get up and leave. Every time I show irritation at ANY of those things my mom acts like I’m some type of evil auntie😭

To be honest, it’s not just "a little bit" selfish. It is 100% selfish. There is absolute zero compassion in creating another human being.

You take a non-existent soul and force it into a physical body (and that's if it's lucky enough to be born functional). From that moment on, that person is forced to stay alive and endure sadness, sorrow, and pain. And why? Just because someone "wanted a kid." That’s literally it. That kid will eventually have to watch their parents die and go through immense grief, all because of someone else's desire to procreate.

It doesn't matter how much happiness they might experience, because you can never guarantee it. They could end up severely depressed, anxious, or miserable, and you forced them into that reality.

Meanwhile, thousands of kids without parents are waiting to be adopted. Creating a new child instead of adopting feels like a direct slap in the face to every child already suffering in the system.

Sure, people talk about "human instincts" and "passing on genes," but as modern humans with unlimited knowledge and wisdom at our fingertips, you simply cannot justify creating a new life. Name one truly non-selfish reason to have a child. You can think about it for years, and you’ll still only come up with half-assed excuses that don't hold up.

Even if a child is born healthy, they can become disabled or go through traumatic life events at any moment. By choosing to bring them here, you are ultimately the root cause of every fear, pain, and hardship they will ever have to face.

TL;DR: There are ZERO non-selfish reasons to create a child. ZERO. Adopt, ffs.