Sorry this will be a very self deprecating post but I need a place to ask for advice. I'm One year and 2months into hrt and I feel so disappointed. I think I've really hit a roadblock and the hope of simply giving things "more time" doesnt seem to keep my strengths up anymore.

Ive never passed in my life so far. Im always referred to with masculine terms and people who already know me havent mentioned any changes either. HRT hasnt really done much. I thought I was going to be lucky after my breasts became sensitive a few days in but after couple of months they stopped growing all together and they arent noticeable in the slightest. I look the exact same as when I started other than my hair growing. Id have loved the get some facial fat redistribution but nothing changed. It hurts when i was already fairly ugly in general outside of masculinity. Its hard to think things will work out when my eyes and eyebrows are so asymmetrical and I have a wide nose, huge eyebags and a very chiselled jawline.

I put the last photo in to simply prove to myself that yes, I have went out dressed fem a couple of times and when looking back no experience has ever felt good. When i first started estrogen and was on pills, taking the first pill wasnt exciting it just felt miserable knowing this is what I had to do to be a woman. When my breasts started growing all i could think about was my massive ribcage is and how the breasts now exaggerate it. Getting my first haircut to add layers was so stressful and I hated it, seeing how flat the hair at the top of my head is, and understanding that growing my hair out, isnt a quick and easy way to start passing. I hate clothes shopping, nothing looks good on me, I cant do it in public without someone else there. Ive only bought a few things over the course of a year and usually they sit at the back of my drawer because i feel so ugly in them. My friend was doing a lot work to support me while shopping but i kept crying and calling myself disgusting it must have felt so annoying for someone trying to help me. Ive had multiple laser appointments and my shadow is still evident, the laser technicians all feel really bad for me and im really trying not to be anxious but theres basically a 10 step guide on helping me while im there, i feel so bad that I get so worked up. I cant think of anything thats ever made me feel good during this process. It makes me sad realising the further I go and the more doors I open, it never leads me where I want to be. Im running out of doors and one of them is going to lead to a trash shoot.

I tried to shave my eyebrows today and they still look so masc and I didnt want to risk going further and messing it up. I really dont have the eye for fashion, style and selfcare. I got my ears pierced just to say I did it, I had no idea what piercing to actually get, I got the basic one the parlour offered and havent changed them since, I dont feel passionate about style it all feels so complicated and burdensome, especially when im ugly too, Its all very overwhelming. I dont know what hairstyle would suit me. it all seems like aesthetics and i am struggling to access a part of myself that seems able to care for accessories, make up, styling outfits. I guess not having a social life makes exploring this all seem so pointless. Plus I have a very small income so risking purchases isnt ideal for me.

Im very lonely. I dont have many people in my life. My family all know im trans but they dont refer to me as a woman and have made 0 attempt to do so, they act like im being selfish when I asked in the past and when i get upset im told I need to get off the estrogen because of the "side effects" when thats just an inevitable part of being on it. I know i need to stand up for myself and I should take pride in that but one reason i dont dress fem argue back more is I feel so bad im leaving my dad without a son. I just feel so sad knowing I had to do this and he lost a part of his life he always wanted. So i put up with it and so it feels like nothing has changed in my day to day as they interact with me the same as always so long as I dont bring up being a woman.

I dont have close relationships. Theres no one who wants to check up and ask me to do things with them. Ive never been out to a bar or dancing, dont think ive been to a party since i was 12. I have a couple of trans friends but i need to always ask them for activities, they never look for me and they have a whole community too. I havent met anyone since high school. My only interaction in college was someone saying "You look like youre on the verge of tears at all times". I installed instagram realised I could only follow 3 people. I dont know how to meet people. Im very stupid and need guidance or advice but I dont have a place for that anymore, i just rot in my room. I try to branch out and learn how to bake something or play a new game, or go to the cinema but thats my extent of being. At work I make no one laugh. That hurts me so much. I dont know how to be close to people and I really am starting to crave love. Id love to have a girlfriend but im not in a place I could have a relationship, ive never had one before and I still have the social experience of a 12 year old.

Id love some advice or guidance on how to stop feeling like its over. id love to feel content in myself and Id love to pass if anyone has tips for me. I dont know how to put "effort" in i guess. its been a lot for me over the past year and things dont seem to be getting better. I feel I need to learn how to live with looking like a man forever as I wont be able to afford ffs and im still on an almost decade long waiting list for hrt through the nhs. If anyone replies thank you so much for taking the time to <3

Hi !

So I'm trying to find the courage to finally come out to my mother and then my father, but I always get so afraid about the moment right after I tell her « I'm a transfem ». Like what happened ? It really drive me crazy to not being able to predict it.

I'm masculine in my daily life and I'm so afraid that from the moment I tell her and the moment I start to transition and finally presenting myself as a woman it can get akward, so what can I do to avoid those things ?

Hi everyone. I’m trying to get a prescription for HRT (testosterone) in the Estrie region of Quebec right now. I went to the doctor at the university I go to and she asked me for a psychologist’s letter; I didn’t have one so she referred me to an endocrinologist (takes 6 months-a year). I did my research and determined that’s totally unnecessary, so I went private to get a psychologist’s letter of referral. A month later, which was today, I had another appt. with the doctor and I showed her the letter, which she basically said was useless and I need to wait for the ending because she’s not trained to prescribe it. I feel like I was wronged. Complaints aside, I was just wondering if anyone had any tips and tricks on how to fast track this. I’m 20 years old and I know what I’m talking about; honestly just starting to get desperate. Thanks for any leads

Hi I want yall's experience and advice on who and how to come out as transfem.
I'm 17 yo and I really want to start HRT as soon as I get 18. In my country, hungary we can only access it trough the EU pharmacies, and its not the most easy thing, also Its really expensive, so I would need my parents help in order to get the treatment.

Should I tell my father, mother or aunt first?

My father is open to new things, he's really supportive but harsh at times about some things.
I know he supports LGBTQIA+ rights, but I don't know if he would be okay with me being trans.

My mother, she's a much more prejudiced person, and she never talks about anything related to LGBTQ, with most things she is supportive in life but there are times when I need to constantly explain her something about that i'm in. If I have a medical problem I need to REALLY explain to her whats the issue before accepting that it’s worth looking into this more seriously.

My aunt is really supportive towards LGBTQAI+ people, she goes to the pride parade in Budapest to show her support too. But that's all that I know from her, because she does not live with us.

If my english was not that god I'm sorry for it, I'm still learning it. :3

sorry for the rude question. I’m at the end of the rope. I’m 17 I’m kinda suicidal, I’ve recently thought of myself as nonbinary and I felt so great, I tried different pronouns I tried a new name they all felt amazing.

but at the same time I feel like it’s a fetish? like when I was younger I’d watch transformation vids and I’d feel aroused by em. but at the same time the thought of getting piercings and tattoos or dyeing my hair did the same.

but whenever I see other people that ig I have gender envy of I feel this insane knot in my stomach and it just burns me from the inside and ig the only thing stopping it from hurting so much is sexual release which in turn makes me more suicidal and empty.

I’ve got literally no one to talk to. not abt being gay not about my mental health nothing. any comments would help really.

it hurts so badly at times emotionally like I wanna throw u. and I’ve been getting more impulsive and doing stuoid stuff online like adrenaline rush wise. I’m scared. and idk if I’m safe from myself anymore

Mtf. Only aware of my gender for the last six months. My wedding is next weekend and I plan to dress femme so that I can look back at it and actually see myself. I'm part way into growing my hair out. It's at such an awkward stage I have no idea what to do with it. The back is so much longer than the rest because its growing from a typical men's haircut.

Please any advice would help

I am 11 months e and 3 months maybe 4 months prog. Idk what next steps I should pursue and I need help.

I still have a pretty good head of hair, but I am developing what pro wrestling fans would call the Arn Anderson hairstyle. Right now I am more Arn in the late 80's where it's noticeable but nothing to worry about. My main concern is I am not a fan of wearing wigs but I don't want to lose the femininity I have been able to develop during my transition. I know I can't have it both ways, but I was wondering if anyone had any helpful advice or tips or whatever.

I imagine nobody knows the answer, but I can't afford to go to a doctor so I'm unsure what else to do. I'm currently starting estradiol enanthate injections, however I also take aptiom pills (1200 mg total nightly) for seizure prevention. The issue is that aptiom accelerates hormone metabolism, meaning I'm pretty sure I'd need higher than average dosage of estradiol to maintain proper levels.

Would anyone have an idea of what estradiol enanthate dosage I should be taking?

Please & thank you! 23, FTM, he/him

I don’t agree with who I see in the mirror. Advice?

im really not sure how to use Reddit so please be mindful

I don’t want to share my name nor my age because I know family members who use this that could figure me out, so I’ll just go by one of my favorite characters- Rick.

I decided I was a trans male ( FTM ) about three years ago, maybe five? I’m really not sure. My mom suggested making this account to get advice from fellow trans people in the community ( im really sorry if that’s derogatory, im new to these terms )

For a while I’ve felt so conflicted. I don’t *feel* like a boy sometimes, and it really hurts. I feel like two diffentt people. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see myself. I see a girl who hates the person that *I* am, and I feel like we never understand each other. I don’t know what she wants, or how to free her from myself.

I don’t think I know what *I* want half the time. My dad is extremely unsupportive, and I fear coming out to him. I think masking for so long led me to be disassociative with myself. I’m still a minor, so I can’t get surgeries or anything like that. Sometimes that makes me upset because I look at myself and I feel upset.

I want advice on if this is normal, or if anyone else feels this way. Yes, I go to therapy, and I’ve talked to my therapist about this, but she isn’t trans so she doesn’t know the feeling. I don’t know what to do, and I want to learn how to be comfortable.

Again, im really sorry if this is posted somewhere it shouldn’t be or if I used any wrong terms or tags I have literally never used Reddit before and I have no idea what im doing right now and im really sorry that this is a word salad im not good at formatting my public questions

I also posted this in a different trans subreddit so idk if this is against rules

I, 14 mtf from Brazil, have tried to come out to my mother before, but she said she thinks "trans people are just in a state of mental confusion". This was 1 or 2 years ago. I decided to act like I was just confused about my gender and re-enter the closet. She also talked in a quite transphobic manner about Duda Salabert (a major transfem Brazilian politician).

Since then, I have explained to her that being is an actual thing that people experience, not just confusion, or liking to cross-dress.

I wish to get out of this god forsaken country to get puberty blockers and/or HRT. I have Italian citizenship, which makes it easier. However, we are in a tense situation, lots of fighting, they are emotionally quite immature for parents, and we are planning to move homes already, so it'll probably be in two years if we do move elsewhere. I was thinking Germany.

Hey yall i’m gwen 21 (pre hrt) trans girl very early in my transition but i don’t have any friends that are also trans to ask advice or just to relate to. hopefully i can make some on here :)✨

Is there anyway I can make this more feminine I’m going to a Halloween party and i want to be a witch