I have been a stay at home mom for three years and I loved being able to do that. My husband works his butt off for me to be able to stay at home with our kids. The thing is we have been on the same page with everything. Recently though my husband’s job changed and he works Monday-Friday 7am to 5pm. Not to bad but I decided to stop having him really help clean the house up or make dinner those types of things because I wanted him to be able to come home spend time with the kids and just relax from it all. I don’t mind doing it all. It’s actually a lot better doing it this way. I’ve noticed he helps out without me having to ask or nag at him to do something. Unlike before where I had to constantly remind him of his “chores”.
He decided to go back to school (on the computer) to help bring in some more money eventually. In about two years he will be making some good money. I told him if it was going to interfere with his time at home or spending time with his kids I would honestly prefer me to go get a job than him going back to school. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids, I just would rather me be away and bring in more money than me being the only one taking care of our kids while my husband is constantly gone. This way our kids could get time with me and their husband on the weekends. But my husband had promised me he wouldn’t let it interfere to much and he will make sure he’s helping out. So far the plan is to spend an extra hour after work to do school work and then an hour after the kids go to bed.
Well he has also decided to go hunting or shooting on Saturdays. He’s gone from 6am to 12pm. I told him I didn’t mind he went hunting or shooting once in a while because I know it’s important to get out of the house away from everything and just simply be able to relax. Well this past month of him going every Saturday has been a lot for me. I feel like he’s just constantly gone and everything is falling on me and I feel like I can never get a true break myself. My husband’s last job made him be away for long periods at a time where I was completely by myself with the kids for months at a time. It’s starting to feel like that again but in a way where he is here but not at the same time. I’ve tried to talk to my husband about this and he said that it’s just him having a hobby and that’s a normal thing. He thinks it’s not his fault that I don’t have a hobby so I wouldn’t understand. The thing is i don’t care if he goes out once in a while for this hobby but it’s every weekend that I’m caring about. Or maybe he’s right and I wouldn’t care about him going out every weekend if I’m doing the same thing. If I’m doing the same thing though when would we as husband and wife have time to connect with each other?
What should I do? Should I try to get him to understand that he shouldn’t be going out every weekend or should I be getting a hobby as well?