r/pearljam • u/BeardedInSolitarity • 9h ago
Other Jack - Gonna Save You Fucker
Friday night I left my 9 y/o, my best friend, my biggest challenge, my son in the psych unit of a hospital. The hardest easy decision i’ve ever made - the house is oddly quiet and dull. Fucking dull. I haven’t seen since sunday - longest since 2017 when he was born.
Consequences? Of course we tried that motherfucker. Hide the knives - yeah but fuck didn’t think about the meat thermometer, thats sharp too. Or all the rocks outside. Can’t lock away all the rocks on earth, even if he’s got a good arm for an undersized 9 year old. You can’t throw them at big sis for a perceived slight bug or small. You were wrong no matter the mad. She loves you. Lil sis is three - shes not laughing at you; shes coping with your chaos how she can. You can’t hit her. She loves you. Your mother would die for you - just stop with the hurtful shit, she’s not a bitch and I’d slap the fuck out of anyone else for just the thought.
The smartest, most determined, charming, empathetic and capable kid you’ll ever meet. Loved by everyone and popular at school. If only he saw it too.
I’m gonna save you fucker. I’m not gonna lose you. Don’t hit yourself - cmon hit me instead.
That fucking song, it just hits so hard right now. Been on repeat for a week straight.
Oh dear dad - can you see me now? Yeah motherfucker I can, always will. Someday riding the right wave. Let yourself fall - I’m right below you now.
Still reading? Thanks - appreciate you. I dunno what this is or for but the world’s asleep and I’m tapped out of Guinness so here I am.