I've been quietly reading this subreddit for a few years now. I'm not a nurse or even in healthcare, but I've always found the discussions here fascinating. I've learned so much from reading about your experiences and perspectives, which I'm truly grateful for.
One thing that always stuck with me was how you talk about the importance of quality of life over quantity. About how sometimes, just because we have the technology to keep someone we love alive, doesn't necessarily mean it's the kindest thing to do. And how sometimes, letting someone we love go is the biggest act of love.
I never imagined how much those comments would eventually mean to me.
This year, my mum became critically ill and ended up in ICU on a ventilator. Her lungs had suffered extensive, irreversible damage, and the doctors said she could potentially survive with a tracheostomy, but would likely remain bedridden and dependent on breathing support for the rest of her life.
Everything happened so quickly. I was dealing with it and making decisions on my own, and the entire experience felt almost out of body.
I remember laying in the hospital at night, beside my mum while she was on the ventilator, reading through this subreddit and listening to the machines, analyzing the monitors.
And I kept thinking about all those comments I'd read over the years.
Of course, I desperately wanted to keep my mum with me for as long as possible. I would have given anything for more time with her. She was my best friend. I am only 31 and she was only 62. But because of the things I'd learned from nurses here, I understood that keeping her alive wasn't necessarily the same as doing what was best for her.
My mum passed away a few days after we took her off the ventilator.
I don't think any of you realise how much your words can reach people outside of nursing. You were sharing your experiences, frustrations and perspectives, and I just wanted to say thank you. You helped me understand something incredibly difficult at a time when I needed that understanding more than ever.
And although losing my mum has been devastating, I'm grateful that I was able to think about what was best for her, rather than only how desperately I wanted her to stay.
Thank you for the work you do, and for the things you share here. They really do make a difference. ❤️