This is my (really shitty) experience with my first miscarriage. From spotting, to ultrasounds 1 and 2, to a D&C followed by two ER visits including hemorrhaging today. I read so many of your experiences this month, they’ve helped me understand the breadth of experiences, how lengthy the experience can be/feel. I’m feeling really depleted, like I just want this to be behind me and yet it keeps getting worse for me. Tomorrow is a new day, I guess…

The start of it all
Due date was estimated for 5/15/2026. I had a (suspiciously) early positive pregnancy test on August 29, first day of my last period was August 8. The lines on the test were very dark, and I had been complaining about intense fatigue for 2 days or so.

I felt like hot garbage, as one does in their first trimester (this is my second pregnancy, I’m 35 with a 2yo at home). Extremely tired, the constant need to eat snacks in order to function, everything smelling as pungent as ever.

Spotting
On September 27, I noticed very light pale pink spotting when I went to the bathroom. I immediately called the perinatology office that I planned to visit the next week (I am high risk due to HELLP with my first) and they reassured me that bleeding is very common. The next morning my spotting increased, my nerves kicked in and I was able to move my first ultrasound up to September 29.

“Too early to know”
The ultrasound rocked me to the core. It was split into two appointments across the street on a huge hospital campus. The tech who did the ultrasound couldn’t even look me in the eyes as she said I would need to wait for the provider on call to come in and read the results. They told me I had a large subchorionic hemorrhage around to the pregnancy. The measurement was 5w6d, not 7w4d, and the yolk sac was abnormally enlarged at 8mm. No cardiac motion detected.

My husband and I crossed the street to talk to a provider at perinatology, he was still feeling hopeful as I crumbled apart. The next provider told me “it’s too early to know” and I’d need to come back next week for another ultrasound to confirm. I cried in the elevator. In the exam room. The whole way home. We cancelled our trip to a family wedding out of an abundance of caution, even though the provider said, “Go! Live your life! Just know where the closest ER is incase you start hemorrhaging.”

I took a few days off of work and I started wildly painting a mural in the walls of our empty nursery. The long weekend gave me time to process and read a lot of experiences of others (thank you so much for sharing), some medical journal articles about enlarged yolk sacs and whatnot. I developed a splitting headache and could feel my pregnancy symptoms fading. I moved toward acceptance.

“Confirmed” miscarriage
October 6 was my follow up ultrasound. Everything looked the same, and yet I was still told it was “too early” however it did look like a nonviable pregnancy. I was given a handout describing the pros and cons of a d&c, miso, and the wait and see approach. I had a great convo with the provider and decided to wait and come back for further evaluation and a d&c after two weeks. Over the next weekend (October 10-11) I woke up with jaundiced eyes - this combined with cramping and headaches pushed me to schedule a d&c ASAP.

D&C
I had the procedure on October 15, 8am. I opted for nitrous oxide, no other sedation. It was beyond painful, 9/10, the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I had the nitrous mask on for 8 full minutes, I’m not sure how long the vacuum was going because the gas was very disassociating. It could’ve been 30 seconds, it could have been 5 minutes. The pain faded as I returned to breathing oxygen, but the shock of the pain was so intense I could feel it in my fingertips, in every inch of my body. I don’t think I’d do it awake if I were faced with this choice again. I was left alone to get dressed and - one more big huge sobbing meltdown in the lonely silence of the room - went to the bathroom where I blood and clots filled the toilet. I drove myself home, and felt better as the hours went by.

First ER visit
Around 3-4pm (same day as the procedure) I started experiencing chest, upper abdominal, back, or gastrointestinal pain. It felt like a belt of pain tightening around my upper abdomen area. It increased sharply and, by 7pm, it was clear I needed to rule out a heart attack. I drove myself to the ER (where I learned you’re not supposed to drive yourself if you have chest pain) where my vitals and further testing (catscan, xrays) were fully inconclusive. I had a follow up ultrasound on my liver and gallbladder the next week due to abnormal liver enzymes and elevated bilirubin, all seemingly inconsequential. My bilirubin is still high, and with piecemeal care (seeing all different providers due to urgent need), no one has been able to piece this one together, and everyone thinks it’s unrelated to the procedure.

The pain subsided and I continued to have light-ish bleeding, along with diarrhea every morning.

Second ER visit, hemorrhaging 12 days layer
October 27, today, I woke up feeling fine. Normal, dare I say. I went to the bathroom and passed a weird looking clot (?) around 9am that was firm and dense and scabby and did I already say weird? By 10am I was back and forth to the toilet, with blood and lemon size clots falling from my vagina. My husband drove me to the ER and I continued to bleed profusely, changing large medical pads every 20 minutes.

A silver lining: the ER prioritizes vaginal bleeding. After an hour or so of testing (vaginal exam from hell, transvaginal ultrasound) it was clear that a lot of clotting and blood was present (…uh huh…) and it “needed to come out.” I finally spoke with an OB on call and was provided an IV of tranexemic acid, along with pills to take home to help reduce bleeding. I asked if there was an active bleed in my endometrium, they said they can’t really tell. One provider said that I would either need a d&c or Misoprostol to expel everything from my uterus. The thought of ANOTHER d&c in my clearly ravaged uterus, when they can’t even confirm what is causing the bleeding (they said it could be a clot that tore from a blood vessel, even my first period after the miscarriage) No. Hard stop. The next OB said it was really unlikely the “materials” were pregnancy related (which would cause risk of infection and require removal). She did send me home with miso, and left it up to me to determine whether it felt necessary.

So, here I am. Wondering when this hellish experience will end.

Thanks for listening.

Hello, I had a blighted ovum and took the miso pill almost two weeks ago. And today when I went in for the follow up ultrasound they said they found a tiny piece of tissue. Does anyone have success stories of taking then a second round of miso and all the tissue clearing? I’m going down a rabbit hole of people saying it takes months to sometimes clear and I’m worried that happens to me.

I’m currently 8w3d pregnant based on very well-tracked dates (positive LH test 13 Sept, positive pregnancy test 28 Sept).

Had an ultrasound at 8w2d after 3 days of brown spotting, passing stringy brown clots/mucus and cramping.
Baby measured 6w4d so 12 days behind.
Heartbeat was detected, but unfortunately no heart rate was recorded. Small area of bleeding visible on ultrasound.
hCG today 11,000.

Having ongoing waves of gnawing, period-like cramps, sometimes reaching 7/10, but very little actual bleeding and no fresh red blood.

I’ve been assessed at hospital and am medically stable. I’m certain about my dates, particularly as the positive pregnancy test rules out ovulating nearly two weeks later.
My midwife has recommended another scan next week to check growth.
I’m preparing myself for a possible miscarriage but obviously hoping otherwise.

Has anyone experienced a baby measuring this far behind with a heartbeat, alongside cramping and spotting? What was your outcome?

Back story I lost my second baby at 14 weeks I had a d&c on the 4th September. I was tracking ovulation with LH tests and did not get a positive ovulation test until the 5th October so we began trying knowing that we should’ve waited for my first cycle we were just yearning to have a baby. I took pregnancy tests from 7-11dpo all completely negative. 12dpo which was the 18th October I got what I thought was my period that went for 5 days. I started tracking ovulation through OPK’s the day after my period finished to get my baseline. 2 days later my OPKs were very dark and stayed dark for another 2 days. Which brings me to yesterday, when I thought “this is odd I’m going to take a pregnancy test to rule it out. To my disbelief there was a second line. Digital even read pregnant 1-2. I immediately had doubts about this being a viable pregnancy due to the bleeding. My beta come in yesterday at 38. However this morning my test is noticeably fainter so I assume that I am right about it not being a viable pregnancy which I will repeat blood test tomorrow. HOWEVER I am just completely confused about what has happened, when did I implant? Was it before the bleeding, after the bleeding? The faint LH tests 2 days after my period is what is throwing me. I’m not going to lie I am a little disheartened and have doubts about being able to conceive again.

I’m super confused and need to vent.

According to my tracking my last period was August 15th. Tested positive September 12th. I had my first ultrasound last week and unfortunately no heartbeat and measuring 7 weeks instead of 9. Hcg was high but dropped after two days. Suspected missed miscarriage. I knew the it was bad the second the tech asked if my periods were consistent. They absolutely are, 28 days on the dot.

I grieved, husband and I cried. A lot. This was our first pregnancy.

But today I had my follow up and guess what, there’s a faint heartbeat + flicker. Measuring 6 weeks not 7. Turns out there’s two yolk sacs, one with a pole attached and one without and last time they think they mismeasured the pole and sac thus dated me further along.

What the fuck

It still likely isn’t viable. My provider can only say 50/50 odds. I was so hoping today I would be able to schedule a d&c and just get this over with. Instead I’m in limbo and trying really hard not to get hopeful bc there’s just no way I’m wrong about the dates.

Schrodingers baby and I wont know either way until next week.

It’s been almost 5 months since my second loss. I was okay-ish today, generally functional. Worked a ton as that’s how I cope a lot right now and working captures my whole focus so I feel some peace. And then I was standing in my kitchen making dinner and it was like being hit by a freight train of grief tonight. I was wailing as I put mustard and mayo in the bread, I know my neighbors in the apt above can hear me. It was so intense it too my breath away for a few minutes. Now I’m sitting in bed, sobbing, with absolutely no appetite to eat my fucking grief sandwiches.

It’s up and down all the time. A few days of being okay, almost like I forget or have moments where it’s not at the front of my mind. Then nights like this. I know time is supposed to help, and it has some, but I think I’m realizing that 4-5 months out from one loss and 13 months out from another is not as much as time as I thought. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this, I know I’ll never stop missing or loving my babies.

I just had to share somewhere, I don’t know where to go with my grief other than my therapist. I don’t have a supportive or caring mom, my friends don’t get it or have pulled away because they don’t know what to say. I’m so tired, this is so isolating. It feels like punishment to lose babies and then seemingly lose loved ones who can’t show up for you.

How am I supposed to make it through to my due date in late Jan? Time is flying but also so slow since the loss

Just experienced my first miscarriage for my first pregnancy. This is crazy to say but I literally stopped feeling pregnant a few days ago, before I actively miscarried/starting cramping/bleeding/clotting. Before I would feel like I was always with someone or someone was always with me, I never felt alone, that sounds cheesy but even like running errands and stuff. I always felt the spirit of my baby with me. Then it randomly went away. Did this happen to anyone else who miscarried?

Back in April I had a D&C after a missed miscarriage. Ever since I had seven cycles and my periods are still not back to normal. They went from lasting 4 days with at least one day of heavy bleeding, to lasting only 2 days and the bleeding is light both days.

I already had a SIS and ruled out Asherman’s syndrome and I also had an endometrial biopsy to rule out chronic endometritis.

I have read some posts on Reddit about this, but everyone just say that their periods went back to normal by month 6. I have had 7 periods since my D&C and there has been no improvement.

I also discovered that I have DOR and maybe I’m just not producing enough estrogen to make my uterine lining as thick as it used to be. But I was wondering if anyone had this issue for several months and discovered what was going on.

My doctors say that my uterine lining is thick enough, but I still feel like there is something wrong every time I see how light my periods have become.

Just to add more detail, I started ovulating between days 8 and 11 of my cycle. Before my pregnancy I was ovulating either day 12 or 13.

It didn't happen.

So it wasn't meant to be? I wasn't meant to be a Mother? But my best friend is?

I don't understand

Title basically covers it. I got my first period on Friday, 7 weeks exactly since my spotting first started. It came on quickly - one minute I was fine, the next I had strong back pain at my lower back and pelvic pain. 10 minutes later I felt the first bit of blood. It’s only been 5 days and I’ve had basically zero bleeding since yesterday afternoon and the only thing I’ve had on my pad is brown discharge.

I don’t know whether or not I should trust it. The back/pelvic pain only lasted a day, which was fairly normal for me since I had been on medicated cycles for PCOS infertility. But even when I was taking medication to help me ovulate, my periods were still 6 days long at least before the bleeding started to stop. 4, almost 5 days doesn’t feel like enough for my first period after a miscarriage.

How long did yours last? How long did it take for you to get it after your loss?

Like I said, I also have PCOS/PMOS, so experiences from others with the same condition would be appreciated if possible.

So when I was 6 weeks I had light spotting and dr sent me to do HCG bloodwork. 1st one came out at 10893 at 6w3d and 2nd was 13201 at 6w5d. The nurse called me and said they expected my numbers to double so they sent me for a transvaginal ultrasound. I had the ultrasound at 7w2d and they saw a gestational sac but no embryo. They want to do another one next week to make sure but she said it might be a blighted ovum. Looking for other ppl that went through similar experiences :(

I've had a few. I get dizziness and cramping then my period. I know around implantation time that it will fail again because I get dizziness. Anyone finding the same?

I am 19 me and my partner had a miscarriage 2 years ago I was a teenager we are teenagers. So we ignored it and all the emotions. We did not process it we just ignored.

We have moved in together since then. We are in college have jobs.

We stoped having sex for about a year and recently started again (just life is hard nothing really related) we are not trying or anything (actually preventing) the baby was a mistake in the first place. But I got my period a few days ago it’s the first one where I have the possibility of pregnancy and suddenly I am feeling all of the feelings.

I can’t stop crying I can’t get out of bed. It feels like it just happened. I can’t breathe. I want my baby screw everything else

I couldn‘t believe I was finally pregnant after a year of trying and finding out I have PCOS. Trying to conceive after months of negatives can make you feel like it will never happen. Seeing my first positive was the best feeling. Sadly, I am also experiencing my first loss. I started heavy bleeding at 5 weeks. My hcg levels are decreasing. It’s been days of bleeding, intense cramping and pain. The physical part of this is horrible, but mentally it is worse. I feel like my hope is gone. I am so afraid of going through this again. My due date would’ve been June 23, 2027.

I wanted to make this post for anyone else that’s going through this. I feel so alone right now. I know there’s many women out there who have gone through this and many who currently are.
I hope we all get our rainbow baby 🤍🌈

Please don’t let this scare you, but I found myself entirely out of my depth expecting this process to be like a “heavy period” as shared by every medical professional who spoke with me yesterday. I don’t know if a natural “wait and see” route would’ve been easier, but this is my experience with a medication assisted termination after miscarriage.

Found out yesterday morning at 9 weeks baby has no heartbeat. Started the process of a medical termination because I couldn’t handle still feeling pregnant knowing it was going to end sooner rather than later. Took the first pill yesterday morning with my OB, dissolved the 4 pills in my cheek for 30 minutes this morning at 7:30. By 8:15 I was in a lot of crampy pain, more severe than my worst period. It lasted about 25 minutes and then went into a lull where I was able to rest on the couch with medium discomfort. By around 10:15am I began bleeding and I was experiencing what I would consider the worst pain of my life. Severe, sharp cramping in my uterus and my back, unlike any period I’ve experienced. I can only describe this as something like an unmedicated labor. There was no physical relief for around one hour. Movement didn’t help, sitting still didn’t help. The pain was sharp, intense, and burning. I vomited multiple times, broke into a cold sweat, and was shaking uncontrollably, feeling like I was going to pass out. The only thing I can say if you’re experiencing something like this, bearing down on the toilet like you’re “pushing” was the only thing to even touch the discomfort. During this time, I was quite literally groaning and screaming in agony. My poor husband shared that it was like an exorcism. After about an hour, it was down to more of a “bad period” type of pain and I was able to rest on the couch. When I woke up, my baby and multiple clots passed at 12:30 and the symptoms nearly immediately went away. It’s 3:30 now, and I’m experiencing only moderate, intermittent cramping, but continuing to pass some tissue.

This was the worst experience of my life, and I’m absolutely devastated and I hate to say it, but traumatized. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, and that every body is different, but the multiple reassurances of “bad period” was such an understatement.

What ways have you guys memorialized your MC? For some reason planting flowers doesn’t feel right but neither does doing something temporary like throwing flowers into the river…

Does anyone have things they’ve done to memorialize that have felt right to them?

My husband and I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago at 5 weeks. We weren’t trying to get pregnant and we weren’t sure if we wanted kids.

We only knew I was pregnant for 6 days before I started to miscarry.

I don’t know what I can feel. The panic of that week of being pregnant was traumatic and then my body going through the miscarriage was/is traumatic.

I feel like I don’t have a right or a place to grieve because we weren’t trying to have a kid and there was a sense of relief in the loss. I know how many women want kids and aren’t able to have them. I just don’t think I feel like I can grieve it.

And it only being 5 weeks and we only just found out so nothing was solid yet in plans. But I know the date of what the first prenatal would’ve been. And I know what the due date would’ve been. And I got disposable cameras to track my pregnancy and now they’re just on the floor.

I just keep crying and crying but I’m so confused because I thought I didn’t want a kid yet.

Me and my husband were having marital activities and after when I went to wash off an embryo came out it was about the size a paperclip. At first I thought it was something else like cum clumped together, until we turned it on its back and stomach and you could see its arms and legs and even where its tail looking thing attaches to the head. There was this weird liquid that was almost gritty but it felt weird not sticky it was just some random fluid. I’m spotting now and I guess I just don’t know what to do or how to feel. It happened last night, I feel disturbed and shook. I didn’t take pictures because in the moment I wasn’t thinking about pictures I was thinking about holy —-I was pregnant. My boobs were getting bigger and I have mdd so I’m usually too depressed to clean much but I was cleaning the hell out of everything and I was more hungry and even got skinnier my waist got smaller and my skin was looking better on top of it me and my mom got into some HUGE arguments a few days before but for 4 days straight we were fighting. Anyway, does anyone know how I should feel or what i should do?? Is this even considered a miscarriage??? I feel shame using that word as it wasn’t as bad as I know most people’s miscarriages.

I really need some advice please. I had a missed misscarriage at 9 weeks and decided to go ahead with a manual vacuum aspiration.
2,5 weeks later I had my first ovulation confirmed with ovulation strips and a negative pregnancy test, and my period came 1,5 weeks later.
My period was a little heavier but other than that all was good.
I'm thinking of TTC again with my next ovulation but 2 different doctors have said I must wait 3 months before doing so because the endometrium must heal otherwise the risk for misscarriage is high. What should I do, there is so much conflicting information online. I'm also 35 years and my first pregnancy ended with a live baby.

Thank you!

I am fairly certain I’m having a miscarriage as I’ve been cramping since Friday and was bleeding and cramping pretty profusely yesterday. Yesterday was 7w2d and I went to the ER to have an ultrasound (I waited 6 hours for this btw). According to my labs and the ultrasound, it appears I’m having a miscarriage and that what they could see didn’t look like anything viable. However, the DR said it COULD be viable still? He said, “since you’re so early, it’s kind of hard to tell. However, from the ultrasound POV you are appearing to have a miscarriage as whatever is in there doesn’t really look like it’s forming into anything.” He told me to wait and pass the miscarriage naturally but then was like well I mean it could be viable, you never know.

What the heck does this mean? Am I having a miscarriage or not?? I’m in limbo and pissed off.

Just trying to vent to anyone who understands. It’s been a month to the day since my miscarriage. Some days I’m okay, others I dissociate, others I just cry, some days I’m so angry. Really hoping my emotions level out soon. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I want my baby back so much. Today was supposed to be my first ultrasound…we would’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat. Baby would be the size of a grape this week.

I’m so angry at my body for failing me, all I’ve ever wanted to be is a mom and I loved my little baby so, so much.

I want to get pregnant again right away but haven’t gotten my period yet (and my fiancé is not ready to try again, and I have to respect his grief too). My boobs are sore again, I’m bloated and my sense of smell is off the charts. I had no idea how traumatizing it would be to have these PMS symptoms for the first time again. I keep thinking that the last time my body was like this, I still had my baby inside me, growing and safe.

Doesn’t help that I work with young children either, I probably should’ve called out today. But at least I get to love other people’s kids. My two year olds at work get all the love and care my own baby would have had every day. They have been so sweet today giving me hugs. Surprisingly I’ve been able to hold it together so they aren’t worried why their teacher is acting sad. I will always do my best for them. I just wish I had my own baby back to love on, to care for, to protect, and to teach.

I’m sending so much love to the rest of you going through this too. I hope we heal ❤️‍🩹

Who here has had a second trimester miscarriage? How far along were you and did you have symptoms or was it missed/silent?

First, the positive(?) news: my consultation for my uterine septum removal is tomorrow. They’re hoping with the removal, I’ll have a better chance at having a pregnancy that sticks. I’m excited that it’s finally appointment time, annoyed that I have to get another procedure done that requires me to rest before trying again, but it’s whatever.

Now the vent part: my mother seems to have a special talent of sensing when I’m upset and making it worse. She messaged me two days ago asking if I’m upset at her, I told her I wasn’t. “I’m just depressed over losing my baby”. She then proceeded to send me two huge paragraphs about how I need to change my way of thinking and cant drown in my grief, and “I know you don’t believe but God has his reasons for ending the pregnancy!” I’ve been an atheist since I was ten…I won’t go into my feelings on God in this post, but her saying that felt like a slap in the face. All I said in response was “it’s only been 2 months, I think I’m still allowed to be actively sad”.

I didn’t need either of those paragraphs. All it does is make me feel angry. Now I’m actually upset at her- like I’m sorry I’m not moving on from my grief fast enough for you, mother 🙄 just leave me alone.

Is anyone else just so angry?

I’m mad at my body.
I’m mad at the doctors that don’t seem to give a fuck.
I’m mad at my family members and friends for not understanding.
I’m mad that I’m not pregnant anymore.
I’m mad that life is always so fucking hard.

I want to punish my body. I don’t want to nourish it with food. I want to do a killer workout and sweat till I’m exhausted. I want to punish the body that failed my baby.

I don’t want to see people. People seem to expect I should be moving on already when I am still currently going through my miscarriage. Stop asking me to dinner.

I promise I am eating still and taking care of myself. This is just a vent to help deal with some of the anger

Now I am going to my basement to blare a rage playlist and scream at the world.

Thank you for listening and I am sorry you are in this group too. I’m angry for you as well.