I couldn‘t believe I was finally pregnant after a year of trying and finding out I have PCOS. Trying to conceive after months of negatives can make you feel like it will never happen. Seeing my first positive was the best feeling. Sadly, I am also experiencing my first loss. I started heavy bleeding at 5 weeks. My hcg levels are decreasing. It’s been days of bleeding, intense cramping and pain. The physical part of this is horrible, but mentally it is worse. I feel like my hope is gone. I am so afraid of going through this again. My due date would’ve been June 23, 2027.

I wanted to make this post for anyone else that’s going through this. I feel so alone right now. I know there’s many women out there who have gone through this and many who currently are.
I hope we all get our rainbow baby 🤍🌈

Is anyone else just so angry?

I’m mad at my body.
I’m mad at the doctors that don’t seem to give a fuck.
I’m mad at my family members and friends for not understanding.
I’m mad that I’m not pregnant anymore.
I’m mad that life is always so fucking hard.

I want to punish my body. I don’t want to nourish it with food. I want to do a killer workout and sweat till I’m exhausted. I want to punish the body that failed my baby.

I don’t want to see people. People seem to expect I should be moving on already when I am still currently going through my miscarriage. Stop asking me to dinner.

I promise I am eating still and taking care of myself. This is just a vent to help deal with some of the anger

Now I am going to my basement to blare a rage playlist and scream at the world.

Thank you for listening and I am sorry you are in this group too. I’m angry for you as well.

Please don’t let this scare you, but I found myself entirely out of my depth expecting this process to be like a “heavy period” as shared by every medical professional who spoke with me yesterday. I don’t know if a natural “wait and see” route would’ve been easier, but this is my experience with a medication assisted termination after miscarriage.

Found out yesterday morning at 9 weeks baby has no heartbeat. Started the process of a medical termination because I couldn’t handle still feeling pregnant knowing it was going to end sooner rather than later. Took the first pill yesterday morning with my OB, dissolved the 4 pills in my cheek for 30 minutes this morning at 7:30. By 8:15 I was in a lot of crampy pain, more severe than my worst period. It lasted about 25 minutes and then went into a lull where I was able to rest on the couch with medium discomfort. By around 10:15am I began bleeding and I was experiencing what I would consider the worst pain of my life. Severe, sharp cramping in my uterus and my back, unlike any period I’ve experienced. I can only describe this as something like an unmedicated labor. There was no physical relief for around one hour. Movement didn’t help, sitting still didn’t help. The pain was sharp, intense, and burning. I vomited multiple times, broke into a cold sweat, and was shaking uncontrollably, feeling like I was going to pass out. The only thing I can say if you’re experiencing something like this, bearing down on the toilet like you’re “pushing” was the only thing to even touch the discomfort. During this time, I was quite literally groaning and screaming in agony. My poor husband shared that it was like an exorcism. After about an hour, it was down to more of a “bad period” type of pain and I was able to rest on the couch. When I woke up, my baby and multiple clots passed at 12:30 and the symptoms nearly immediately went away. It’s 3:30 now, and I’m experiencing only moderate, intermittent cramping, but continuing to pass some tissue.

This was the worst experience of my life, and I’m absolutely devastated and I hate to say it, but traumatized. I knew this wouldn’t be easy, and that every body is different, but the multiple reassurances of “bad period” was such an understatement.

I’m super confused and need to vent.

According to my tracking my last period was August 15th. Tested positive September 12th. I had my first ultrasound last week and unfortunately no heartbeat and measuring 7 weeks instead of 9. Hcg was high but dropped after two days. Suspected missed miscarriage. I knew the it was bad the second the tech asked if my periods were consistent. They absolutely are, 28 days on the dot.

I grieved, husband and I cried. A lot. This was our first pregnancy.

But today I had my follow up and guess what, there’s a faint heartbeat + flicker. Measuring 6 weeks not 7. Turns out there’s two yolk sacs, one with a pole attached and one without and last time they think they mismeasured the pole and sac thus dated me further along.

What the fuck

It still likely isn’t viable. My provider can only say 50/50 odds. I was so hoping today I would be able to schedule a d&c and just get this over with. Instead I’m in limbo and trying really hard not to get hopeful bc there’s just no way I’m wrong about the dates.

Schrodingers baby and I wont know either way until next week.

It’s been almost 5 months since my second loss. I was okay-ish today, generally functional. Worked a ton as that’s how I cope a lot right now and working captures my whole focus so I feel some peace. And then I was standing in my kitchen making dinner and it was like being hit by a freight train of grief tonight. I was wailing as I put mustard and mayo in the bread, I know my neighbors in the apt above can hear me. It was so intense it too my breath away for a few minutes. Now I’m sitting in bed, sobbing, with absolutely no appetite to eat my fucking grief sandwiches.

It’s up and down all the time. A few days of being okay, almost like I forget or have moments where it’s not at the front of my mind. Then nights like this. I know time is supposed to help, and it has some, but I think I’m realizing that 4-5 months out from one loss and 13 months out from another is not as much as time as I thought. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over this, I know I’ll never stop missing or loving my babies.

I just had to share somewhere, I don’t know where to go with my grief other than my therapist. I don’t have a supportive or caring mom, my friends don’t get it or have pulled away because they don’t know what to say. I’m so tired, this is so isolating. It feels like punishment to lose babies and then seemingly lose loved ones who can’t show up for you.

How am I supposed to make it through to my due date in late Jan? Time is flying but also so slow since the loss

It didn't happen.

So it wasn't meant to be? I wasn't meant to be a Mother? But my best friend is?

I don't understand

First, the positive(?) news: my consultation for my uterine septum removal is tomorrow. They’re hoping with the removal, I’ll have a better chance at having a pregnancy that sticks. I’m excited that it’s finally appointment time, annoyed that I have to get another procedure done that requires me to rest before trying again, but it’s whatever.

Now the vent part: my mother seems to have a special talent of sensing when I’m upset and making it worse. She messaged me two days ago asking if I’m upset at her, I told her I wasn’t. “I’m just depressed over losing my baby”. She then proceeded to send me two huge paragraphs about how I need to change my way of thinking and cant drown in my grief, and “I know you don’t believe but God has his reasons for ending the pregnancy!” I’ve been an atheist since I was ten…I won’t go into my feelings on God in this post, but her saying that felt like a slap in the face. All I said in response was “it’s only been 2 months, I think I’m still allowed to be actively sad”.

I didn’t need either of those paragraphs. All it does is make me feel angry. Now I’m actually upset at her- like I’m sorry I’m not moving on from my grief fast enough for you, mother 🙄 just leave me alone.

Just experienced my first miscarriage for my first pregnancy. This is crazy to say but I literally stopped feeling pregnant a few days ago, before I actively miscarried/starting cramping/bleeding/clotting. Before I would feel like I was always with someone or someone was always with me, I never felt alone, that sounds cheesy but even like running errands and stuff. I always felt the spirit of my baby with me. Then it randomly went away. Did this happen to anyone else who miscarried?

Who here has had a second trimester miscarriage? How far along were you and did you have symptoms or was it missed/silent?

What ways have you guys memorialized your MC? For some reason planting flowers doesn’t feel right but neither does doing something temporary like throwing flowers into the river…

Does anyone have things they’ve done to memorialize that have felt right to them?

Hello, I had a blighted ovum and took the miso pill almost two weeks ago. And today when I went in for the follow up ultrasound they said they found a tiny piece of tissue. Does anyone have success stories of taking then a second round of miso and all the tissue clearing? I’m going down a rabbit hole of people saying it takes months to sometimes clear and I’m worried that happens to me.

I’m currently 8w3d pregnant based on very well-tracked dates (positive LH test 13 Sept, positive pregnancy test 28 Sept).

Had an ultrasound at 8w2d after 3 days of brown spotting, passing stringy brown clots/mucus and cramping.
Baby measured 6w4d so 12 days behind.
Heartbeat was detected, but unfortunately no heart rate was recorded. Small area of bleeding visible on ultrasound.
hCG today 11,000.

Having ongoing waves of gnawing, period-like cramps, sometimes reaching 7/10, but very little actual bleeding and no fresh red blood.

I’ve been assessed at hospital and am medically stable. I’m certain about my dates, particularly as the positive pregnancy test rules out ovulating nearly two weeks later.
My midwife has recommended another scan next week to check growth.
I’m preparing myself for a possible miscarriage but obviously hoping otherwise.

Has anyone experienced a baby measuring this far behind with a heartbeat, alongside cramping and spotting? What was your outcome?

Back story I lost my second baby at 14 weeks I had a d&c on the 4th September. I was tracking ovulation with LH tests and did not get a positive ovulation test until the 5th October so we began trying knowing that we should’ve waited for my first cycle we were just yearning to have a baby. I took pregnancy tests from 7-11dpo all completely negative. 12dpo which was the 18th October I got what I thought was my period that went for 5 days. I started tracking ovulation through OPK’s the day after my period finished to get my baseline. 2 days later my OPKs were very dark and stayed dark for another 2 days. Which brings me to yesterday, when I thought “this is odd I’m going to take a pregnancy test to rule it out. To my disbelief there was a second line. Digital even read pregnant 1-2. I immediately had doubts about this being a viable pregnancy due to the bleeding. My beta come in yesterday at 38. However this morning my test is noticeably fainter so I assume that I am right about it not being a viable pregnancy which I will repeat blood test tomorrow. HOWEVER I am just completely confused about what has happened, when did I implant? Was it before the bleeding, after the bleeding? The faint LH tests 2 days after my period is what is throwing me. I’m not going to lie I am a little disheartened and have doubts about being able to conceive again.

Just trying to vent to anyone who understands. It’s been a month to the day since my miscarriage. Some days I’m okay, others I dissociate, others I just cry, some days I’m so angry. Really hoping my emotions level out soon. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I want my baby back so much. Today was supposed to be my first ultrasound…we would’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat. Baby would be the size of a grape this week.

I’m so angry at my body for failing me, all I’ve ever wanted to be is a mom and I loved my little baby so, so much.

I want to get pregnant again right away but haven’t gotten my period yet (and my fiancé is not ready to try again, and I have to respect his grief too). My boobs are sore again, I’m bloated and my sense of smell is off the charts. I had no idea how traumatizing it would be to have these PMS symptoms for the first time again. I keep thinking that the last time my body was like this, I still had my baby inside me, growing and safe.

Doesn’t help that I work with young children either, I probably should’ve called out today. But at least I get to love other people’s kids. My two year olds at work get all the love and care my own baby would have had every day. They have been so sweet today giving me hugs. Surprisingly I’ve been able to hold it together so they aren’t worried why their teacher is acting sad. I will always do my best for them. I just wish I had my own baby back to love on, to care for, to protect, and to teach.

I’m sending so much love to the rest of you going through this too. I hope we heal ❤️‍🩹

Me and my husband were having marital activities and after when I went to wash off an embryo came out it was about the size a paperclip. At first I thought it was something else like cum clumped together, until we turned it on its back and stomach and you could see its arms and legs and even where its tail looking thing attaches to the head. There was this weird liquid that was almost gritty but it felt weird not sticky it was just some random fluid. I’m spotting now and I guess I just don’t know what to do or how to feel. It happened last night, I feel disturbed and shook. I didn’t take pictures because in the moment I wasn’t thinking about pictures I was thinking about holy —-I was pregnant. My boobs were getting bigger and I have mdd so I’m usually too depressed to clean much but I was cleaning the hell out of everything and I was more hungry and even got skinnier my waist got smaller and my skin was looking better on top of it me and my mom got into some HUGE arguments a few days before but for 4 days straight we were fighting. Anyway, does anyone know how I should feel or what i should do?? Is this even considered a miscarriage??? I feel shame using that word as it wasn’t as bad as I know most people’s miscarriages.

It’s been 3 weeks. Had an ultrasound and everything is clear. I have the most amazing husband in the world but I just cannot fathom having sex. The days are getting better and less emotional. I still cry daily but I feel better. I just cannot fathom the idea of sex. I love my partner and he’s so sweet and supportive I just don’t know when I’m going to want to have sex again let alone try. The doctor said we can try once I get my period once but I don’t want to try ever again. The fear of this happening again is so unbelievable real.

Back in April I had a D&C after a missed miscarriage. Ever since I had seven cycles and my periods are still not back to normal. They went from lasting 4 days with at least one day of heavy bleeding, to lasting only 2 days and the bleeding is light both days.

I already had a SIS and ruled out Asherman’s syndrome and I also had an endometrial biopsy to rule out chronic endometritis.

I have read some posts on Reddit about this, but everyone just say that their periods went back to normal by month 6. I have had 7 periods since my D&C and there has been no improvement.

I also discovered that I have DOR and maybe I’m just not producing enough estrogen to make my uterine lining as thick as it used to be. But I was wondering if anyone had this issue for several months and discovered what was going on.

My doctors say that my uterine lining is thick enough, but I still feel like there is something wrong every time I see how light my periods have become.

Just to add more detail, I started ovulating between days 8 and 11 of my cycle. Before my pregnancy I was ovulating either day 12 or 13.

Hi everyone,

Sadly got the news today that my pregnancy is not viable based on hcg testing. I did not expect to feel so intensely emotional.

I haven’t seen my exact situation posted and I am hoping someone might have some experience to share. Or, if someone is in my boat in the future you can learn from my experience.

I found out I was pregnant at 4 ish weeks (according to the Flo app). My husband and I were trying and very excited. My tests were very faint at first. About 3 days later, when I was 5 weeks, I went to the ER with right sided lower abdominal pain and light bleeding (dark brown spotting). My U/S showed basically no findings. My hcg was 160. I was told it could be an early pregnancy vs miscarriage vs ectopic pregnancy.

I continued to have occasional spotting but the pain didn’t return over the next few days. I did have occasional cramping and acheing. I started to feel some pregnancy related symptoms like mild nausea, insomnia, sore breasts. I repeated an hcg 3 days later that was 238 so we were hopeful that it was a viable pregnancy. I was told spotting and cramping might be normal.

Then today, after another 3 days, my hcg is 179. OB said it’s a non viable pregnancy but that the levels are too low for us to know if it’s an ectopic on U/S and based on my recent normal scan everything looked okay. She said to repeat labs in a week to make sure it goes to less than 10.

My biggest concern — what’s about to happen to me? I’m still spotting but am not getting any red blood, it’s mostly dark brown and light, enough for a liner. I’m estimated to be 6 weeks today ( if that’s even correct ). U/S showed no intrauterine findings…. So is there any tissue to pass?
I am nervous about some stories I’m reading about the pain, cramping and heavy bleeding associated with a miscarriage.

Has anyone been in my shoes? Did you go through a lot of pain? Or has this happened to anyone that ended up having an ectopic pregnancy?

To make things slightly worse, it’s the middle of the work week. I went home early today (couldn’t stop crying). But am planning to go in the rest of the week. I’m just worried about what’s to come.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

My husband and I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago at 5 weeks. We weren’t trying to get pregnant and we weren’t sure if we wanted kids.

We only knew I was pregnant for 6 days before I started to miscarry.

I don’t know what I can feel. The panic of that week of being pregnant was traumatic and then my body going through the miscarriage was/is traumatic.

I feel like I don’t have a right or a place to grieve because we weren’t trying to have a kid and there was a sense of relief in the loss. I know how many women want kids and aren’t able to have them. I just don’t think I feel like I can grieve it.

And it only being 5 weeks and we only just found out so nothing was solid yet in plans. But I know the date of what the first prenatal would’ve been. And I know what the due date would’ve been. And I got disposable cameras to track my pregnancy and now they’re just on the floor.

I just keep crying and crying but I’m so confused because I thought I didn’t want a kid yet.

Title basically covers it. I got my first period on Friday, 7 weeks exactly since my spotting first started. It came on quickly - one minute I was fine, the next I had strong back pain at my lower back and pelvic pain. 10 minutes later I felt the first bit of blood. It’s only been 5 days and I’ve had basically zero bleeding since yesterday afternoon and the only thing I’ve had on my pad is brown discharge.

I don’t know whether or not I should trust it. The back/pelvic pain only lasted a day, which was fairly normal for me since I had been on medicated cycles for PCOS infertility. But even when I was taking medication to help me ovulate, my periods were still 6 days long at least before the bleeding started to stop. 4, almost 5 days doesn’t feel like enough for my first period after a miscarriage.

How long did yours last? How long did it take for you to get it after your loss?

Like I said, I also have PCOS/PMOS, so experiences from others with the same condition would be appreciated if possible.

So when I was 6 weeks I had light spotting and dr sent me to do HCG bloodwork. 1st one came out at 10893 at 6w3d and 2nd was 13201 at 6w5d. The nurse called me and said they expected my numbers to double so they sent me for a transvaginal ultrasound. I had the ultrasound at 7w2d and they saw a gestational sac but no embryo. They want to do another one next week to make sure but she said it might be a blighted ovum. Looking for other ppl that went through similar experiences :(

I've had a few. I get dizziness and cramping then my period. I know around implantation time that it will fail again because I get dizziness. Anyone finding the same?

I am 19 me and my partner had a miscarriage 2 years ago I was a teenager we are teenagers. So we ignored it and all the emotions. We did not process it we just ignored.

We have moved in together since then. We are in college have jobs.

We stoped having sex for about a year and recently started again (just life is hard nothing really related) we are not trying or anything (actually preventing) the baby was a mistake in the first place. But I got my period a few days ago it’s the first one where I have the possibility of pregnancy and suddenly I am feeling all of the feelings.

I can’t stop crying I can’t get out of bed. It feels like it just happened. I can’t breathe. I want my baby screw everything else