hi. my partner woke up to news of his brother passing away today. i’ve lost two brothers so i know the feeling and i know how it can feel so numb. i don’t want to leave him alone. i don’t Want to go to work. but we need money and i just got a promotion. what do i do. do i go in? i’m trying to find coverage but no one is responding.

thanks for the help. i took off work to stay with him when his cat passed and i want to do that here but i also want to get us the money we need to live especially because we’ll be buying some type of ticket or using gas money to get from north carolina to ohio. am i horrible person for going if i do? im just so lost.

My mum (53F) is the most gorgeous wife and mother to give kids 26M, 24F (Myself), 21F, 20M and 19F. Every ounce of the good human I am is because of her. She dedicated her entire life to helping others have a better life through charities, kindness and volunteering and in return she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic breast cancer in Late 2023. A Estrogen LR (0.05%), Progesterone Neg and HER- form. About as pretty close to triple neg as you can get. In last 2.5years I have watched my mother progressively struggle to give up her once active lifestyle that she loved as tens to hundreds of Mets spread throughout her skeletal system. First her spine, then her pelvis, femurs, humorous… and now it’s invaded her liver aggressively. Treatment after treatment has failed and with the new progression, what we had hoped would be 10 years now feels as though we would be lucky to have just more. I am grieving an incredible woman who I have not yet lost. It feels entirely selfish in a way.

I know I am not alone and I would love to hear from others who have been in a similar circumstance. If you had 12 more months what do you wish you could have done? How did you cope with seeing them in pain that you knew would only get worse?
So many trips and experiences have been booked. So many more photos taken. I hold her a little tighter every time. I will never be too old to cuddle into her like a child. I have hours of voicemails saved to an iCloud Drive and birthday cards galore saved.
What did you do to help process the grief?

I lost my son to suicide a little over three years ago. It’s been the most heart-wrenching, painful experience of my life. I live with it every day. Reading and support groups have helped, and I’m healing, even if it’s slow.

I still cringe when I hear the phrase “committed suicide.” To me, it makes it sound like the person committed a crime. We don’t say someone “committed” cancer or any other illness. The word “committed,” when tied to an action, brings up things like fraud, murder, or other wrongdoing. That’s why the phrase feels so painful and just wrong to me.

For me, the phrase “committed suicide” adds to the stigma that already surrounds suicide. It feels harsh and judgmental. I much prefer “died by suicide” or “took their own life,” which feel more humane and kinder.

I’m curious how others feel about this. Have you noticed this too, or do you think the language matters?

I thought it almost appropriate to be a Zombie Bride since my fiance died. Halloween has been a somber affair for me since 2012. He died a week before Halloween so every October tends to be a painful time of year for me. Friends convinced me to do a bar crawl so I went to Goodwill and bought a wedding gown for $30. The wedding dress my fiance helped me pick out is still safely packed away with his clothes. I would never defile it like I did this gown. My groom is dead, I feel dead - so this really isn't a costume so much as a portrayal of how I feel. Even 14 yrs later. A living dead girl.

I would like to share with you the chronicles that happened to me over the last couple of days – now that I have my emotions in check. If you are missing loved ones who have passed away, I hope this detailed accounting will boost your faith that your loved ones can get through to you from Heaven.

1.   Late this past Monday afternoon after putting in a 12 hour day, I was exhausted so I did what I have been doing since David passed, swiping reels while relaxing. It passes the time as the evenings are lonely without my husband. A singer on Britain’s Got Talent, Stacey Leadbeatter, hit me with a ton of bricks. I didn’t even know I was crying until the song was over. No other song, ever, has had that type of effect on me. I set her performance on ‘replay’ and watched it for over 2 ½ hours. Every single time I listened, I got chills – the good ones. My iPhone seemed to ramp up the performance – the volume was louder than usual, even though it was on max and it sounded like I was watching her live. A very emotional experience.

2.   I finally went to bed, but woke up at 2 AM. Just as I came to, I heard these lyrics from the song (Run, by Leona Lewis) in my mind – ‘Even if you cannot hear my voice, I’ll be right beside you dear, light up, light up, as if you have a choice’ Do you know what David always called me? “Dear”. Sure, he called me by name to get my attention, or when we were doing business with clients – but 99.99% of the time it was “Dear”. In the line ‘light up, light up as if you have a choice’ – David would say that to me, “as if you have a choice” when I wound up talking to a bunch of people rather than fading into the background – which is what I prefer – David would say, “I know, but you don’t have a choice, it’s instinct that makes people want to chat with you and you can’t change that.” Those lyrics resonate incredibly high with me. Yesterday, while working, I had it on replay again as I was cleaning up a few chores on my laptop. I am thrilled that she is releasing ‘Run’ on December 7^th.

3.   Mid-afternoon yesterday, I decided I needed a rest. I was thinking about what to have for supper and this popped into my head – go to Smitty’s and order breakfast for dinner. Huh? Aside from my daily Ensure, the only time I eat breakfast is when we are on vacation. I know I have NEVER ordered breakfast for dinner – but David did, all the time. Upon waking after a short nap, I ran with it and went to Smitty’s for breakfast. I sat leisurely eating my meal and scrolling. When I was finished eating, my lovely server told me that my bill had been taken care of – someone had paid for it. She didn’t know the person, but, said, “They just asked me to tell you to pay it forward.” They even left a tip! Well guess what! Paying for someone’s meal was always our thing. Our kids loved surveying the restaurant and picking out the table that we should pick up the bill for and would tell our server “Please tell them that we don’t know them and to simply pay it forward.” We picked up a tab in December of last year for a family of 4 at Swiss Chalet. We were sitting adjacent to a family and heard a young boy say, “This is so good. I wish we could eat this more.” I don’t remember the dad’s response but he made it clear, in a gentle way, that eating out was something they could only do once in a while. We had just gotten to the car when David told me he would just be a moment as he went back into Swiss Chalet. He returned a short time later and I asked him if he forgot his phone. He said, “No. I got the family three $50 gift cards so they can get out a little more often. It was such a sweet thing to do.

Here is the link to Stacey’s cover of ‘Run’ by Leona Lewis. You will NEVER forget her singing that song.

Well, there you have it and thanks for reading. After a visit from David’s spirit (the most mind blowing thing I have ever experienced) then the sign he sends for Hannah, Misty, Sharon and myself when we are together have made me 100% sure, absolutely positive, with no doubt that David can get to me from another dimension.

These occurrences have left me awestruck (cannot describe how I feel in words) and I know David is there – just beyond the veil nudging me forward – until we meet again…..

Postscript:

I did have a visit from David’s Spirit a couple of weeks after he crossed over. Just like Stephanie Leadbetter’s voice, I can’t find a word to describe that either, even with a prolific vocabulary. I have shared my encounter on a group site and found that many other spouses have had very similar experiences.

In my spare time - humph – not much of that – I need more of me to get the work done and I am fighting three antibiotic resistant bacteria – again. I am writing a paper detailing – the best way I can – my happenstances in order to show other spouses what to look for as signs their partner is trying to get through in nondescript ways. I will share it when I am finished. It will also demonstrate how my faith told me that David was in Heaven. But, after actually being enveloped in his spirit, it left not one smidgen of a doubt. Posting this when completed will, hopefully, give people the reassurance they need to be sure there is a Heaven and their loved ones are there.

My dad would have turned 80 today, and falling asleep knowing I can’t wish him a happy birthday is unbearable.

My old man passed away back in May this year from an incredibly aggressive cancer. So aggressive that it’s hard to believe that just last October, we were celebrating his 79th birthday at a Greek restaurant. He looked rather well, happy, alert, and full of joy and energy, despite already having gone through his first few rounds of chemo. You can literally see it in the photo, which was exactly a year ago…

And today, for the first time in my life, I’m going to sleep on this day of the year without having heard his voice.

When I was living abroad, he’d always stay awake because he knew I’d call to wish him a happy birthday. And what makes it even harder is that I’ve now moved back home to Germany. Had he still been here, I would have seen him tomorrow.

But I also know that, despite how much it hurts, I’m giving my dad exactly what he would have wanted today: I’m thinking of him.

He never expected or wanted presents or anything fancy for his birthday. All he ever really wanted was to know we were thinking of him and to spend some quality time together.

And how I wish I could have that time with him just once more. To be back at that Greek restaurant, or anywhere really, celebrating him for being the best dad I could have wished for. Celebrating him for simply being… there. Because coming to think of it, that’s what truly mattered.

Of course, he wasn’t perfect. But who really is? He was our dad, and he did everything he could to give us a brighter future. That’s what matters to me.

I’m fortunate to have my cats, my partner, my mum and my brothers. They’re truly my world. And my friends, although most of them are still abroad (I spent most of my adulthood in the UK before moving back to Germany), have also been an enormous source of support.

I know I’m not alone, and I know I have so much to be grateful for. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing I could hear his voice just one more time.

So I want to end this post by saying:

Happy 80th birthday, Dad.

This post is partly a way for me to vent, but more importantly, it’s a celebration of the person my dad was, the love he gave us, and the place he’ll always have in our lives.

I miss you, old man.

I'm in my early 20s and my grandpa died of cancer this past June of stage 4 esophageal cancer. For over 8 months I was by his side, taking him to appointments, grocery runs, handling doctors. All of it. I was working full time overnights and would do doctor appointments for 5-6 hours with no sleep. I handled almost everything even when it came down to the funeral. Yes I had help with a few family members but not to that extreme. I don't regret helping him I would do it again in a heartbeat. In his eyes I was his world and I was there with him all the way into hospice.

After his death I was having these dreams and nightmares (I'm a very vivid/lucid dreamer) either it be him just simply talking to me, or saying he wanted to make sure I was okay. Or just seeing him drive his truck and wave at me. Then I get the cancer and hospice dreams. I wake up crying a lot of the times or crying so hard in the dream itself. Feels like it's getting harder everyday instead of better.

Can anyone relate as a family caregiver or even with the dreams?

It all happened too quickly. My parents and my youngest out of 3 sisters had plans to visit my 1st sister’s graduation at a place 6 hours away from our hometown. My 2nd sister and I stayed back because I had work and she had university classes to attend. I got the call at 5:30AM just as I was about to head to work. My mother told me that my youngest sister is in the emergency zone. She had a high fever, before suddenly having a seizure attack and passing out.

I met up with my 2nd sister and we head there together. We received a heartbreaking call saying that she was unconscious and transferred to ICU to be intubated. The infection was spreading too fast into her organs and they found out that it was Influenza A. From there it went downhill in the span of just two days. She was declared brain dead. Just like that. No last words exchanged between us. Just the last text she sent me saying that she feels sick because of the fever.

She was undiagnosed but I’m pretty sure she exhibited mild signs of autism since she views life in a very straightforward way. Because of that, people naturally gravitate towards her friendly nature and she never had ill intent towards other people. Just a cheerful girl who liked to see people smile. I would always buy gifts for her, and she was the most appreciative. She took celebrations so seriously and never fail to make anyone feel welcomed.

But now she’s gone? Just like that? I miss her dearly. My mother is having it the worst as my youngest never pursued academics and stayed with my late her whole life. I was the one always away for boarding school and now work. Every waking moment I am reminded that I no longer get to see her, or hear her voice and it just destroys me. I feel a lot of things. I wished I did more for her, she had a future ahead of her, a future filled with sunshine. The parcel she ordered arrived before she even got to open them, she bought a new luggage because she wanted to stay with me and now she couldn’t.

I’m clutching the power bank that she gave me for my birthday, my last birthday I got to celebrate with her and i just couldn’t accept it. I don’t know how to navigate this, my heart feels like it’s trapped in a constricting cage riddled with needles. It’s painful.

I lost my brother 3 months ago still fighting battle in my head about my mental health every day i wake up in different mode nothing feels same anymore trying to shift my mind to somewhere but not able to
Just sharing my pain here since got no one to talk

i just miss my dad so much. i wish he was here, i just want him to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay. i wish i could cry into his arms, and i wish he could tell me what to do about the way i feel. sorry about the rant. i miss my dad so so so so so much.

My dad’s brother had invited a friend to the wake. He didn’t know my dad. Last time he saw him was when they were in high school. They were now 52.

This was a very small and quiet wake. Less than 15 people. My mom, sister, and I were just traumatized, devastated, and exhausted. We weren’t really speaking to anyone. Just sitting there, processing.

When this man arrives, my dads brother and his wife are obviously talking to him. Very loudly. They’re not talking about my dad. They’re kinda just laughing it up. Maybe this is selfish of me, but it was just really daunting to hear them laughing and in a great mood when my fathers dead body was sitting right in front of me. If they were reminiscing over my dad it’d be one thing, but it had nothing to do with him.

My dad wasn’t too close with his family, they were estranged for years. They only started to re-connect the year prior throughout his cancer journey. So I understand that his brother and sister-in-law (along with nieces and nephews) were not devastated or very emotional.

But I thought it was really disrespectful that they stayed in the room and didn’t even have the decency to take this jolly conversation out in the hall.

My dad’s brother & family leave the wake a little early because their kids have to “study” for an exam (…there was no school the next day).

The next day we had his funeral. Again, it was a small funeral. We really don’t have any family we’re close with, but I knew I didn’t want to lose connection with my dads side of the family. So I asked my dad’s brother (and his family) if they wanted to go out to eat. They said they couldn’t because their (20-year-old) daughter had a telehealth appointment. I go on Facebook later that day and discover the daughter had a birthday party with friends.

I do feel like some extra context is needed: Exactly one month after my dads passing, it was his birthday. Two months later, it was thanksgiving. Three months later, Christmas.

I did not hear a word from them. They invited my aunt and her cousin to thanksgiving. But they did send us their annual family Christmas card. How so very kind.

The following year, they did not send the family Christmas card.

Honestly, I was hurt and wanted to block them, but what difference would it even make lol. They clearly have no want or desire.

I know they are not obligated to keep contact. I know they don’t really want a depressed, grieving family dampening their time. But it just hurts that they didn’t even pretend to care.

Anyway, that aside, am I being unreasonable over the wake and funeral incidents? I was telling someone about this and they didn’t really think it was worth putting attention to.

My dad passed from pulmonary fibrosis when I was 23. I was his primary caretaker at 21 the entire time he was sick, and I was lucky enough to have been enrolled on Temporary Disability at the time, since it helped cover his medical expenses. In his final week, he was showing signs of the surge, and his medical team didn't have the heart to tell us. I thought my dad was making a miraculous recovery. I was already thinking about all the places I'd take him, all the yummy foods we'd eat together like we always did in his healthier days. He told me that once he woke up from his nap, that he wanted to eat a burger, a Strawberry milkshake and some fries with me, but he never woke up.

It's been 2 years since my dad passed, and I still miss him a lot, especially now that the holidays are near. We don't celebrate his favorite holiday anymore (Halloween), it's just not the same. My boyfriend's family invited us over to their Halloween celebration, maybe that will encourage us to finally start anew next year. Dia de Muertos is coming up, and I need to set up his altar, which is always bittersweet, his can of coke sits next to him year round, we change it every couple of months.

I find myself daydreaming a lot about the stuff I didn't get to do with my dad. I never got to take him out to lunch with my own money, I never drove him anywhere besides his doctors appointments. Whenever I see a new movie at the theater, I always wonder if my dad would've liked it or not, and how I wish he was still here. More than anything I wished he'd woken up and stayed with me at least a day more so we could have that burger and milkshake.

I'm glad my dad isn't suffering anymore from that cruel disease, but I grieve that I'll never get to be an adult daughter to him, always his little girl. Maybe he wanted it that way.

It’s been almost 5 years now since my grandma died. She wasn’t in the best health to begin with and it was monthly doctor check ups which I was helping her with. I was aware of her health situation and needed to be admitted but she refused month after month.

Before she agreed to be admitted to the hospital and ultimately that’s when she died, I said to her “the family is encouraging you to go because we want you around longer.” And not long after she died. I think there’s a little bit of guilt I have because of it. I know the outcome will be the same but it feels like I contributed to her death.

I woke up feeling sad today, it’s my mom’s three-month anniversary since she died. As I share with tears how I’m feeling , My spouse said I’m crazy to feel like this and that I think of her death in anniversaries, especially the first year. Am I being crazy, unreasonable here with my feelings??

I wrote this poem for my friend who lost her wife unexpectedly. They shared such an incredible love for one another… truly a relationship that made you jealous when they walked into a room. My friend is incredible and recently grief has encompassed her. I can’t understand what she’s going through fully- I don’t want to pretend like I can. I just want her to know she’s amazing and people love her. Her birthday is tomorrow. Should I send this to her?

Did my father's death change my character and make me more mature? Yes. But what is the benefit of becoming more mature in this life? Am I not going to die anyway? What good does it do if I become the most mature person in the world, or even in the history of the world, with the most developed character? What is the point? I think the people who praise this are either people who have never experienced any real hardship in their lives or people who are fooling themselves.

They say pain makes you grow as a person. Honestly, even before experiencing this pain, I was already highly empathetic, understood people, and tried my best not to hurt anyone. Nothing about me has changed. In fact, I have even started to think that being this way might have done me more harm than good, since I no longer see any benefit in it.

I have started to think that the concepts of good and evil really don't matter. I guess we just live according to nature. Doing what is best for yourself is all that matters. This might sound like a silly example, but during the pandemic, when classes were online, everyone was cheating on an exam, but I didn't because I thought it was unfair. Because of that one course, my GPA wasn't high enough for the graduate program I wanted to get into. Most of the people who cheated didn't have that problem. Now, I look back and think, "What an idiot I was." "If you cheat, you're only fooling yourself." What a load of bullshit. Who cares? Just like the whole "pain makes you stronger" bullshit.

I will carry the indescribable pain of my father's absence for the rest of my life. And there is absolutely nothing positive that has come out of it.

I lost my younger sister to suicide almost eight years ago. After she died, I went through a period where I barely ate for months. I was grieving, trying to survive, and honestly, eating was the last thing on my mind.

I've always been petite, and I actually like my body. But I think what people don't realize is that there's a history behind it that they know nothing about.
Recently, someone I've gotten close to has made comments about how skinny I am, calling me "skin and bones" and saying I have "boney hands." I know he probably thinks he's just teasing me, or it’s a way of flirting and being playful but it doesn't feel funny to me. Today he made another comment about my hands, and I jokingly told him I hated him. But a part of me was bothered.

I don't think people understand how grief can affect you physically, too. How you can go through something so devastating that even basic things like eating become difficult. And years later, people see your appearance without knowing what you went through.

I don't expect everyone to know my story, and I certainly don't want to explain my sister's death every time someone comments on my body. I just wish people understood that sometimes there's so much more behind someone's appearance than they realize.

Almost 8 years later, I'm still carrying the effects of losing her in ways I never expected.

It’s been 5 years, I was 15 when my grandpa (my honorary dad) passed away, and I wasn’t allowed to say goodbye.

The day after his 78th birthday, he started feeling sick. My grandma and I figured it was just a cold, and he’d get over it. His symptoms started to get worse, and I told my grandma he needed to see a doctor, she was skeptical and thought he’d get over it soon. It got to the point where he started being delirious and verbally aggressive towards us which he never was before. I finally convinced her to call an ambulance after a week from him beginning to feel sick.

The medics suspected a possible UTI or medication not cooperating with one another. My grandma had me go put the dogs outside so they could get him out of the house without us worrying about the dogs running out or being in the way. By the time I got back, they already had him in the driveway and loading him into the ambulance.

It was 2021, and Covid was still going around. I wasn’t allowed in the hospital to visit because I was under 16. They transported him a few hours away, my grandma stayed down there to be with him. During the time my grandma was there, she told the doctors I was 16 so I could be allowed to visit, and she was then on her way to get me.

When we got to the hospital, they turned me down because my grandpa’s daughter (from previous marriage) had told the doctors that I was actually 15 so I couldn’t come see him.

My grandma took me home, and when she got back, a nurse had to help her figure out how to be able to do a video call with me so I could see him. The entire call I couldn’t stop crying, and didn’t get to say what I wanted to be able to say. He was doing well though, unshaved but he looked good and sounded good otherwise. They estimated he’d be coming home soon.

After about 2 weeks of being in that hospital, he kept bouncing between stable and slowly slipping and gave my grandma the choice of keep trying, or make him comfortable. She chose to make him comfortable, and no one told me. I was under the impression that he was coming home soon.

He was moved to a nursing home where I was able to watch him be wheeled inside, but I couldn’t come closer than 20 feet from the door. They made me stand outside and look at him through his room window, and talk to him over the phone.

Every day, I sat out in the car for 10-13 hours while my grandma sat inside with him. She tried so hard talking with the facility to figure out a way I could say my goodbyes to him. They finally agreed that they’d wheel him out on the patio and I could sit with him, 3 days from then. That day was my first day of 10th grade.

I went to school, and I was just trying to get through the day so I could go and see my grandpa. In my first class, we all were on our phones towards the end since there was nothing to do. I was scrolling on Facebook and saw that my grandpas daughter posted “my daddy got his wings this morning at 3:46am”. I kind of laughed and showed it to my friend and was like “what is she saying?” And she gave me the weirdest look, and so I re read the post and that was when it really hit me what happened. I went up to my teacher, showed her what I saw and explained what it meant, and she just ushered me to the office. I was fine while the office ladies were so upset and giving me hugs while I was just trying to call my grandma.

She finally picked me up, and I told her what happened, and she said “I didn’t want to tell you until you got home because I didn’t want to ruin your first day of school.”

Here I am at 20 years old, still finding out new details because nobody can seem to tell me the truth. I just recently as of a few months ago found out through my grandma that his main nurse was mean to him, and her. Referred to my grandma as “what? Are you his mother?” In a condescending tone, and made him choke on his food cause she wouldn’t sit him up to feed him.

I don’t know what to do with all of this anger I have. It’s so unfair. The only sort of goodbye from him I got was a call the night he passed, he called me crying saying he was sorry he wasn’t coming home. He believed it for as long as I did that he was coming home.

Hi everyone

Unfortunaley my beautiful mother passed away a little over a week ago from colon cancer. I’m 23, an only child, and live abroad. I’ve been back in my home country for the past 3 weeks when i felt like my mom wasn’t doing well, and now she’s sadly passed and we’ve had her funeral and everything. I’m still planning on being here a little while just till things maybe calm down a bit more and to make sure my dad will be ok.

I won’t get into my heartbreak and grief, that’s maybe a post for another time.
We are very slowly trying to get back a sense of normalcy. My dad will be going back to work soon, and I will at one point go back to my home where my partner is (she flew in for my moms funeral, don’t know how i would’ve survived this without her, my mom loved her to bits).

Throughout these days we’ve had the desire to just have some lighthearted movies on, try to get our mind off of the sadness. I never noticed this as much before, but Jesus does hollywood LOVE a dead mom. It seems to be in almost every movie. Even when you put on what’s seemingly a safe lighthearted comedy, BAM, the main characters mom died of cancer or in a tragic car accident when they were younger.

Does anyone have any movie recommendations for someone going through grief? Specifically mom grief? Something lighthearted.
The day will come where i know i will want to watch movies that heavily focus on this so i can have a deep long cry. Bambi was my favorite movie growing up, but it’s an untouchable one for me right now. Maybe in a few months when im home alone i’ll put it on and sob for hours. But for now, i just need something lighthearted and fun that doesn’t put my moms passing at the forefront of my thoughts.
If anyone has any suggestions i’d appreciate it.

Last year my cat died due to cancer. She collapsed on the Kirche floor when I was not at home because of a job interview. Died while having a seizure.

A few weeks later I have watched my grandpa succumb to pancreas cancer. I have visited him nearly every day for the course of 6 months. SIX MONTHS was all it needed to turn a +100kg and nearly 6.5ft tall person into a living skeleton who cannot hold in its own pee and has to take FENTANYL to make the pain bearable. I watched his decline in real time, without being able to do SHIT about it.

And yesterday, my beloved Pet Dog died to aggressive cancer which has spread from some unidentified area to her left Kidney, her Liver, the spleen and the spine. Blood was splashing out her back and covered the floor. A few hours later we had to put her down to prevent her from
Suffering even worse.

SHE WAS ONLY 10 I could have had 5-6 years more with her but this fucking disease took her from us.

This is the third loved one in roughly 12 months.

I would love to grab the concept of cancer and everything that is cancer and torture it to death. I hate it here.

This year was my first adult birthday without my dad. No surprise he couldn't wish me a happy birthday this year because he is dead.

I remember the first time my birthday was forgotten. My dad and young daughter sat across the table from me and watched as my heart broke. I choked back the tears, put on a brace face, and showed gratitude even in the absence of the cake I asked for not being there to be served. My husband arrived over an hour late because 'he forgot' and drove home even though the reservation was set for 2 miles from his office, right after his shift, out of convenience and consideration for his schedule. The cake came a day late. I really thought it wouldn't happen a second time. This is what I get for having hope.

I have no understanding within the new pieces of my heart how this has happened again this year. Could he really have learned nothing from the last time? But I sure have learned. I've been served a fresh hot lesson I will never forget.

Even my daughter who saw the fallout of my heart breaking over having been forgotten so many years ago, also forgot or intentionally did not wish me a happy birthday either.

My heart will always be broken where these betrayals collided. I will never recover from this. I hope they never feel how they've made me feel. It really hurts my feelings, my heart, my spirit. I feel important to no one but myself. I'm the only one who will be there for me, I suppose I needed that reminder. Who do you turn to when you are hurt by those you love the most?

You may not see my tears, but do not take that as evidence they do not exist. The tears appear with a burning urgency, a hot lava that flows regardless of my preference. It is hardening in between the parts of my heart I never imagined would be fractured while I wish this wasn't happening.

When my dad died, he took my whole family with him. I've lost so much... I'm forever changed in ways I never expected or even imagined.

I've sacrificed myself for my family, changed myself for the betterment of us all, severed parts of myself to honor my commitments. All to be overlooked on mother's day and forgotten for my birthday. This has been the worst year of my life emotionally.

I started a second job this year, which was used against me and leveraged as the reason to not include me in mother's day dinner. No one asked my schedule, checked my availability, nor offered to move it to an hour later so I could attend. Or maybe they did know I couldn't be there and they didn't care. Was this intentional, or a punishment? There is no way to know, since my role as a mother has never been celebrated in this family. My husband cooked the food in my home, served it to his mother in her home, and I enjoyed left overs at home, alone. No celebration for me. No card. No care. No hugs. Just left over dinner.

Even as a baby, I was overlooked and forgotten. My 'babys first Christmas' ornament had the wrong year on it. No one noticed or cared until I cried and cried until my mom made one with my name and the correct birth year using glue and glitter. It was the biggest ornament on the tree, but it never filled the hole it left in my heart. Just an annual giant searing reminder that I matter less that everyone else, or not at all.

I feel like when you drop a bowl of cereal, I'm the Cheerio flying across the room. How do you tell a story with a bad guy and not make them look bad?

I lost my grandpa a few days ago. Apart from my dogs, he’s the first person close to me I’ve ever lost. So the first time I’m experiencing strong grief.

So I’m not use to these things I’m experiencing. And I was wondering if these things are common in grief:

- I go through these different things in waves. Sometimes I cry my eyes out and really struggle to calm down - this is often triggered by something like hearing his voice inside my head or when I think about the situation more etc. Sometimes I feel numb - none of my emotions feel “real”. Sometimes I even forget for a minute that he’s gone - which makes it more upsetting when I remember again
- My appetite is different. I don’t “feel” hungry anymore. It’s like I eat because it’s the right time of year day to. I live with my parents - I think that if I lived on my own I might not have eaten at all. When I do eat, it might taste nice but it doesn’t feel as “fulfilling”as usual. Sometimes I snack in the evening - it’s like trying to make something feel fulfilling but it doesn’t.
- I struggle to concentrate as much. Such as things on the tv
- I feel weird being “normal”. It feels strange doing a normal routine “get up, eat, sleep” etc when something “not normal” has happened.
- I’m Christian but I’ve felt more connected to my religion now. I find myself talking to god more, and it’s like my mind tells me (not through my own head voice) what he’d say back
- It feels empty, I notice his prescence gone
- Feeling more “heavy”
- Some of the things I’ve found that helps is remembering the happy memories with him and knowing he’s not suffering anymore. But that only helps a bit

My SIL has been battling cancer for a year ..and cancer won, despite her brave battle. She is in hospice. She's young with two young children. Her husband is my husband's brother.

We are devastated. We have known her for over 20 years as we all started dating in high school.

I've lost a parent in hospice before and it was brutal. I am feeling sick knowing what's to come. I feel heartbroken for my niece and nephew. For her husband and her own siblings, etc.

My husband asked his brother if he needed support - should we come and help with the kids etc. But his brother says he's okay - they've been planning for this. Her siblings are there and they have a nanny (hired one a while ago when she was starting to go downhill).

I feel helpless. I dreamt about her all night. I woke up crying. I don't know how to say my own goodbye.

They are private people. I have to respect it. What do we do?

Cancer is terrible, life is unfair.

*Edited to clarify we aren't living in the same city. We are about four hours away.

Just like that, another part of my childhood is gone. Both my grandmothers passed away within two months of each other. 💔

They were both such an important part of my childhood and took care of me when I was growing up. Now, I find myself looking through old photos, remembering those days and realising that I can never go back to them. It's heartbreaking how people who were once such a big part of your everyday life can suddenly become memories you hold on to.

I'm finding it really hard to process this loss and figure out how to move forward with life. For those who have lost people who helped raise you and loved you unconditionally, how did you cope with the grief? How do you learn to live with their absence and slowly find your way forward? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Hi all, my dearest father was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer about 4 weeks ago (small cell lung, spread to his brain and spine) and given a very short prognosis. He’s made the decision to do VAD (voluntary assisted dying) program, so I will be losing him very soon. I 100% support his decision, as although he’s in a wheelchair and needs 24/7 care, cognitively he is still the same dad I remember and I feel strangely thankful I’m able to preserve him in this way. He wishes to go peacefully, surrounded by his loved ones and has accepted his illness (he is optimistic to a fault at times lol). I understand not everyone will understand or even support VAD, so if comments can be respect and kind please 🙏🏽

I love my dad so much, and the thought of losing him is destroying me. The best way I can explain is like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. As the days pass, I’m getting closer to the edge and I’m looking down knowing within less than 10 days, I’ll be free falling. I’ve never experienced grief before, so it feels like torture my first time it being a parent. I’m constantly anxious, shutting down, sometimes I get so mad, then so, so down. I have no friends, and my family are also going through it so support feels limited.

If anyone reading this has gone through a similar experience, firstly I am so sorry. I welcome any guidance or words ✨🤍