EDIT: This got quite the response. I'd like to thank everyone for their input (even that one weirdo that's blaming mothers specifically for rape culture in the commens) 🤯 I'm no longer worried that I was in the wrong and for that I'm greatful. Love yourselves and laugh when you can peace out ✌️

Hi all long time lurker first time poster here.

I 39f saw an art post on fb with a guillotine, some flowers and the words "Dead men don't rape". As a victim of rape myself I saw this and laugh reacted to it because to me the thought of a dead rapist is rather funny.

A little while later I get a notification, I'm being called out by the post author for laughing at rape and supporting rape culture and being a mysoginist. I explained my view, my personal experience and why I thought it was funny. She goes on to laugh at the fact that I was raped, called me a few undesirable names and continues to spout that I'm in support of rape culture.

So am I the AH or is she nuts? I honestly don't know at this point

So my fiance(26m) and I (27f) have been discussing this for a while and we are hitting a bit of a wall. So his sister is getting married this coming week and we are unable to attend as we are overseas and it would cost us about 6k to attend and two 20 hr flights that I don't think I'd be able to do in such a short amount of time.

There has already been drama around this as her sister has been going around telling people that we didn't try enough and it ended with a conversation with his mom and her telling us and I quote "well y'all could've tried a bit harder" in which he hung up and I physically walked out of the room as I was about to blow up.

So, I've already made it clear to my fiance that I do not like his sister due to this event as well as some past events that happened. Part of the reason I don't want to send her money is because I genuinely believe she will complain about it and it will end with his parents bitching at him because of it. She did it when we gave her money for holidays and various other events. And I told my fiance that if she is going to be ungrateful I have no interest in giving her money. I'm not expecting to be praised with thank yous but I don't think it's a lot to ask for someone to just say thank you and move on.

My fiance says this may be taking it too far and he just wants to avoid his parents nagging at him about it but of course I mentioned they may call and nag anyways if she complains about how much money we gave her and if they are doing that anyways I would rather be a free hundred dollars richer.

Wibtah if we went though with just not sending her money?

Edit: just so I could clear things up as I do realize I probably left out a lot. We have a joint account as well as separate accounts. I have very much told him that he could send money from his separate account, just not from the joint. But I also have told him that I don't want to hear him complain when his parents call him telling him that he didn't send enough money because I almost guarantee you that call is going to come and that completely ruins the whole reason he sent the money. He also doesn't want to send money. So the main issue here is he is only doing it to avoid conflict but I think the conflict will still be there regardless. So for anyone saying I'm trying prevent or stop him, I'm not.

AITAH…I’m a service member, sharing kitchen and bathroom with one other service member. I’m 39, they are mid 20s. 1st year; I attempted to befriend; we both kept cordial. We had an understanding, I’d deep clean, and stock up on common items in turn, roomie gave me wifi. Okay, so each time I create a space/ invite to any grievances, as I have a need to address mine; roomie will take away wifi. They may/ may not address my concern( main one is slamming doors; as I’m sensitive to the vibration.)After a while; they will open up access again. CURRENTLY, they are on a new schedule and daily now, I’m awoken each night as they are shuffling drawers, dragging chair on tile( it’s wood on tile, so it’s echoing/ stutter vibration). I’ve been yelling when I’m awoken ( I know it’s passive aggressive), or I’ll single slap a wall. But this past instance, sounded like they dropped a weight, it was loud and heavy. I sent a text later in the day “ try not to arrange furniture so early, haven’t been getting sleep”. And on track, they took away wifi.
How do I approach this? I don’t care about wifi, I do care about my quality of sleep. I try to understand they are on different schedule, but I’m tired of always reach out and being only one communicating,

I live in a suburban area and mow my lawn with a push mower and I have it so the grass clippings just blow out in the air, not through a mulched or mushed down.

To be clear, I don’t blow ALL the grass clippings into the street, I just do the “perimeter” method of cutting grass so I’d say 2-3 mower-wide-rows worth of grass max are what go into the street.

Most recently, a neighbor (didn’t know her) literally rolled her window down so I stopped my mower and she scolded me saying it’s unsightly and I should leaf blow it back into my yard. I responded, “Lady, it’s just fucking grass” and she looked at me horrified.

So I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I don’t have an HOA. It’s not like I’m purposely doing row after row purposely so that ALL the grass goes in the street, just whatever is close to the road.

AITA?

So I work in sales and my wife is currently on maternity leave caring for our 6 month old. I usually work from home 2 days a week including Fridays which we both enjoy as I’m within earshot to help with the baby and our 3yo who is home from daycare, and my wife also gets some rare adult conversation.

Being end of year I have a busy schedule of ‘thank you’ lunches with key customers, essentially every Thursday and Friday until now and Christmas. Also a black tie dinner event and a couple of interstate overnight business trips.

I had to raise these with my wife to make her aware of a busy period that bends our usual routine, and tried to understate the occasions as I’m mindful of the limited social stimulation she currently gets to enjoy while I am out dining in nice restaurants.

Alas, she was upset, saying that it’s unfair that I get to enjoy these things while she is stuck at home with the kids and I was being insensitive for raising it when she had a long day and was exhausted from the kids. Don’t get me wrong, I understand her point of view given the massive contrast to her day to day currently, however it is my job, it pays our bills, and I usually make a conscious effort to say no to client dinners, always leave the office early mid-week to be home to help with the kids in the evening, rarely book Friday lunches and always limit interstate travel to days where our eldest kid is in daycare. This period is unavoidable however. Could I have picked a weekend to raise it rather than night time mid week, yes, however it came up in conversation that I had a busy work schedule so it didn’t dawn on me that I needed to pause and pick a better time to raise it when she will be less exhausted.

AITAH for being insensitive? I don’t think I am, but still think it’s understandable for her to be upset with the circumstances.

EDIT: thanks for the perspectives so far. I need to also note that baby is exclusively breast fed and doesn’t take a bottle - this sadly means babysitters are not an option. We live along way from friends and family also so the toddler rarely leaves our sight when not in daycare. I would love nothing more than to bring my wife to these events, I’ve suggested for the work trips that they all come along, stay in a nice hotel, order room service, wife can get a massage, however the thought is overwhelming to her

I have talked to my parents about this at least thrice and they still refuse to hear me out because they believe in ‘patriotism’ or whatever, but I have spoken up several times about not wanting to live in my country, simply because

1. I don’t trust anyone here. I can’t be myself around people because they’ll either call me an asshole for not being sweet all the time or just take things as a joke;

2. As ‘not important’ as this might be, how they dismiss neurodivergent teens or people overall that struggle with mental illnesses. There have been so many instances where I’ve seen people ignore or see as a joke disabilities and disorders, it makes me go crazy because I myself AM neurodivergent and I mask most of the time or people would (and have) called me lazy and other names, I hate it. How my parents also dismiss my own feelings, hell I even doubt some therapists would even be qualified enough to help other people here (has happened to my sister)

3. The way people handle things. Even if there was a person lying on the ground and bleeding, asking for help no one would help them. Only watch, pass by, ignore, laugh and film what the person is going through. I feel like this country is just so.. disrespectful to themselves in a way.

Most people here are also pretty much homophobic/transphobic, grown ups don’t take kids seriously when they ask for genuine help and it angers me. Staying in this country angers me. I don’t like living here and I don’t want to keep living here in the future, I HAVE talked to my parents how after college I’ll be moving out and living in the same country I do college (which I’m debating between South Africa or England) and they just refuse to hear me out because in their words, “living in another country is betraying yours.” And I don’t understand that. I kinda feel like I’m in the wrong at this point for wanting to live outside my country but idk. I have stated this multiple times and they just refuse to hear me out. Am I the asshole for even talking about this? For ‘betraying’ my country?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 months, and I love her very much.

We had plans to spend time together today, but I also want to go to a Halloween event that only happens once a year. The event runs until Sunday, but I wanted to go today.

Yesterday afternoon, I told my girlfriend that I was going to the event and that we probably wouldn't be able to see each other tomorrow.

She responded calmly and told me to let her know. I asked her several times if she was angry with me, and she said she wasn't. However, she eventually admitted that the change of plans had thrown her off.

I apologized and asked if there was anything I could do to make her feel better. I reassured her that I love her, but apparently, she's taking this much harder than I expected. She's been crying for hours and has told me she feels worthless. She doesn't seem to know what kind of reassurance she needs.

Here's my reasoning: this event happens once a year, whereas my girlfriend and I can see each other on other days. I don't think it's unreasonable to want to take advantage of a rare opportunity, even if it means missing one date.

I can understand being disappointed if your partner cancels plans, especially at relatively short notice. What I struggle to understand is why this has made her feel worthless and why she is taking it this badly.

I don't want to feel that I'm obligated to give up something I genuinely want to do whenever my decision upsets her. I don't think her being hurt automatically means I've done something wrong, but I also don't want to dismiss her feelings just because my reasoning makes sense to me.

So, Reddit, AITAH? Am I being inconsiderate by changing our plans at such short notice, or is my girlfriend taking this more personally than she needs to?

Me, A , B and X have all been the part of a bigger friend group for the last 3 years. I was close with all of them. A and X had been dating for 3 years now. But they broke up and in 3 days X and B started dating. I also got to know that B had confessed to another common friend about 2 months ago that they had feelings for X and also that it was X who asked B out after breaking up with A.

AITAH for thinking there is cheating involved here. X says she "didn't expect this from me" and calls another friend who came to the same conclusion an incel.

PS All the ppl in our group have also decided to cut off X and B.

This is a complicated story and my first post like this, so please bear with me as I aim to be clear, concise, and unbiased. I'll gladly clarify anything in the comments.

I (19F) had a childhood best friend, Stella (19F), for thirteen years, who recently cut me off abruptly and hurtfully. This goes back to high school when a major rift occurred between Stella and our mutual friend, who I’ll call Jen, stemming from a sports team conflict. Their animosity grew due to not addressing the conflict, leading to Stella distancing herself from the group. Despite this, Stella remained my best friend, and we happily maintained our bond, growing closer through college.

Before I continue, I feel the need to disclose that Stella struggles with several diagnosed mental health issues (OCD, ADHD, depression, anxiety, panic disorder, insomnia, and PTSD to name a few) which affected our friendship dynamic in a way that might seem unusual to outside eyes. She had a tendency to ghost me when triggered by high school drama references, particularly involving Jen, but I accepted this and worked through it due to our strong bond.

Our own conflict started in freshman year of college when Stella expressed lingering resentment towards Jen. To support Stella, I distanced myself from Jen, having been cordial with her previous to this, and things calmed down for a while. The situation escalated when a year later (now a month ago) Stella noticed I still followed Jen on Instagram, which I hadn’t even realized due to my indifference towards social media. Despite explaining this and reassuring Stella of my loyalty, she became emotionally distressed, ghosting me for about a week before sending me an emotional video message where she essentially questioned everything about our friendship, revealing she was very tormented by her belief that I was still in close contact with Jen.

I was quick to send a heartfelt reply affirming my support and correcting misconceptions about my contact with Jen. Stella appreciated my message but adamantly insisted I unfollow Jen. Now seems like a good time to mention that I have a sister with OCD through whom I have explicitly learned how to approach compulsive episodes. Keeping this in mind and concerned about enabling what I perceived as a compulsion related to Stella’s OCD, I gently refused, believing it was a healthier long-term decision.

She did not like this.

After a week without a reply, I sent her a follow-up message, knowing college had been tough for her lately. She responded a day later with a long message expressing her feelings of loss, anger, and agreeing with her therapist’s assessment that our friendship was too much for her mental health. She felt hurt and invalidated, and had ghosted me in hopes I’d reread my message and understand how I had re-traumatized her.

I felt lost at the turn of the conversation and was confused about her intentions. After a week of reflection, I apologized and asked her to call to discuss the issue. I truly felt this to be the next best step due to poor communication being the root cause of most issues up to this point. The next day, she refused to call and said my apology didn’t matter because she felt hurt. She claimed I didn’t agree with her “boundary” but didn’t define it. Ultimately, she had no energy to explain herself.

It’s hard to summarize objectively, but the message exchange has felt one-sided and unkind. I’ve invested a lot of time and thought into my messages, explaining my processes and reassuring her gently. She’s responded with blunt, accusatory messages, focusing on how she felt misunderstood. Meanwhile, I’ve been seeing her crash out on social media, spam-posting, and implying harmful things about me through her liked media. Instead of confronting me directly, she chose vague posts.

Keeping this in mind, my last message was blunt but still gentle. I emphasized that she needs to communicate about the conflict in order to be productive. I pointed out that she’s always ghosted me when upset instead of talking. She’s been treating me as if she’s been openly airing her grievances this whole time, when in actuality most of her statements are news to me. I explained how distressing it is that she won’t talk and demands vague things in hurtful ways. I clearly stated that I don’t want to be friends right now because of her lack of communication. I’d already apologized, been open to working through things, and tried to make her feel seen. I ended by saying the ball was in her court and that I was still open to a call, but I needed to distance myself since it’s been a month of zero progress.

She responded, calling me toxic, manipulative, and inappropriate. She said she was doing her best with her therapist’s advice and pitied me for thinking I could “repackage [her] issues and turn them around on [her].” She has now blocked me on almost every platform except for the obscure ones.

This has left me feeling lost and distressed. I genuinely valued our friendship and made every effort to support her, but the lack of clear communication and her hurtful accusations have been difficult to process.

AITAH in this situation?

So we are in uni (all of us are in our 20s) and we have a huge class. There's this one guy who is conventionally attractive (+ has that mystery guy thing going for him) and so many girls have crushes on him and have tried to approach him, though he's turned them down and tends to avoid interacting with girls much in general. Let's call him A. One of the girls in my friend group who I was good friends with has always found him attractive as well. Let's call her F. She used to say 'I have a crush on him' but then later on say it's all jokes and then again said I no longer have a crush on him now I just call him attractive for fun. 

F tried to talk to him a few times and they had normal interactions like classmates do. She once found out that his best friend leaked the information to someone indirectly connected to F that A was uncomfortable with F's attempts at interacting with him and that A had said some harsh stuff regarding this. F was angry and hurt, hence confronted A who apologised and said that he hadn't said anything accusatory about her but that rumours had also started to spread about this and it all piled up thus he felt uncomfortable around her . F made it clear to him there are no such feelings on her behalf. After this confrontation, F said everything's sorted and went back to her 'jokes'.

Okay for context I've never encouraged F's crush on A. In fact I and my other friends would always say that you should pursue someone who's actually into you. The few times she ranted about the 'uncomfortable' situation I had listened, not because I wanted to take joy in her pain (which she accused me of doing so afterwards) but because I wanted to be there for my friend.

Fast forward, I found out A actually likes me (we had a few conversations but I never got the hint) and we had this one conversation in which he comforted me while I was deeply disturbed and I fell for him. I actively tried to bury those feelings but a month later we talked and confessed.  We decided that we'd get to know each other more and see if this goes somewhere. With time I saw he was such a kind and caring person and I could genuinely see a future with him. 

I told F and my other friends that A and I are talking and we interact in university too and I was scared this'll hurt her but I wanted to be honest about it. I didn't want to tell her the feelings part because a) i got out of a very toxic relationship some time prior that had become very public and this had caused me a lot of mental distress b) A and I had nothing official going on and I wanted to wait till there was a solid foundation that I could announce to my friends. She said it's fine and that A is not her property.

Some months later, A brought me something and I showed F. She said he clearly likes you and she's so excited for me etc. But then a day later when we met she started completely stonewalling me. I thought to myself "okay she's hurt about it I should give her space". But then she would make very subtle and condescending jabs at me during group conversations (she used to do this while we were friends as well but now they were more about my character). 

Some time later, I was going through a lot of personal problems and was also very sick and didn't go to campus for a few days. When I showed up, I found out through our friendgroup that F had talked poorly about me to them and other classmates who were a) her friends but not mine b) ex friends of our current friends and had proven they were not trustworthy c) people F herself had beef with some months prior 

She told my friends that her and I are no longer friends because I decided to get close to someone who accused her of making him uncomfortable. She told the others who werent in my friend group that I backstabbed her, falsely accused me that i never told her him and i talk and other stuff that would make people question my character. Turns out A's best friend again went and told someone linked to F that A and I had feelings for each other (something A told him in confidence).

My friends tried to encourage her to have a last conversation with me but F said there is nothing to talk about. I was very disturbed and some time later, in my emotional pain panicked and backed off from A even though I had fallen for him by then. A also heard about what was going on + there were false rumours regarding us F's other friends were indulging in with her which were causing me a lot of distress and he was giving me a bit of a hard time about it which was making me feel even more alone and misunderstood (he was saying that I should've communicated absolutely everything from the start which is true and I take accountability for it but he was being upset about it and since I didn't want to reveal F's past 'crush' on him, it made things even more complicated as he kept insinuating that I wasn't being honest enough with him about why F is behaving this way).

I apologised to F, told her my perspective and admitted that despite everything I should've been 100% transparent from the start and she humiliated me but in the end said she needs time and will get over it. I accepted this and have continuously tried to mend things since but even after that she's still doing things that are putting me through severe mental distress. 

AITAH?

Me and 2 other friends planned to go to this event coming up in a few weeks (tickets were bought months ago). For context the tickets were $28 each and nonrefundable. I was the one designated to buy the tickets so we can make sure our seats were together, so naturally I was sent the money to be able to do so. A few days ago I had to drop them due to some antisemitic and racist jokes I had been made aware of. I just got a notification of a venmo request for the money to be sent back. AITAH for not wanting to pay them back out of my own pocket when they decided independently that they wanted to go to that event and the only thing linking me to them is that I’m the one who clicked the purchase button? I’m aware our seats are together so that makes it awkward but I’m not keeping them from going, I don’t care if they sit next to me.

Edit: I’m the one who has the tickets because the tickets aren’t made available until a few days before the event, where I can then transfer it to them either digitally or hand them over in person after printing.

Edit2: I’m not holding the tickets hostage, I’m just not able to transfer them until a few days before the event. We made the seating decision before we stopped being friends so I can’t control that aspect unfortunately. I would rather them not be right next to me but that’s the reality. They knew the tickets were nonrefundable. The tickets are theirs and they can do whatever they want with them, but because they were nonrefundable from the get go I don’t think I should be expected to now be paying for them since I dropped them.

Edit3: I worded my first edit incorrectly. I don’t actually have the tickets and nobody does until three days before the event. As soon as they reach my inbox I plan on transferring it to them immediately.

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/Bprn51XMkL

So, It's been a while since my original post and I'd like to update you all on what happened since.

Marsh and I no longer speak. While we were hanging out in secret behind Rio's back, things escalated again. We were cuddling one day when Rio had gone home for the weekend and I confessed that I still had feelings for him, he said he didn't knw how to feel about that. I asked what he'd do if I kissed him, and he said he didn't know. I ask if he'd be mad, and he said no. So, I leaned in and so did he, and we started to make out. We spent the night together, making out and stuff while he was on the phone with Rio at one point. The following morning he said we could never do that again, and I agreed, but you all know how that went. We started texting and hanging out more, going on secret date and what not, and he started calling me his second boyfriend as a joke.

One afternoon, Rio knocks on my door, Marsh's iPad in hand, open to a screenshot of our messages. He asked me to tell him everything because he knows Marsh is lying to him. I didn't know what to do, so I told him it was a joke between Marsh and I as best friends. He accepted it, but broke up with Marsh. I spoke to Marsh later that day and he said that he was gonna cut me off because he wanted to fix things with Rio. And, at that point, I knew I couldn't let that happen if i wanted to be with him, so, that night, i messaged Rio and told him almost everything, I with held the sex that happened on that weekend, and Rio told me that he was done with Marsh. He also told me that he doesn't balme me, but he never liked me, he finds my hyperverbality and eccentric personality annoying, and hates that i get along with basically everyone, saying that it means I'm a bad person, which I guess is true to him. I agreed that we shouldn't be friends.

After this, situation, Marsh said he no longer wanted to talk to me, because he was scared of growing feelings for me. He has a stable life plan with Rio and I'm too spontaneous for him to ever risk falling for. It hurt, but I understood. I reaffirmed that I loved him and if he ever wanted to be with me, i'm not opposed to it, but i just wanted my friend in my life. He said we'd be ok, but later texted me that he's cuting me out of his life bc he needs time to heal. Which i accepted, but two days later, I saw Rio leaving his room half naked and i realized why he actually cut me out. I asked him not to lie to me anymore and he insisted that Rio and he were not back together, but he doesn't want me to even be his friend anymore because I told Rio everything. I apologized and admitted that i did it because i didn't want him to get back with Rio, but everything I said, was just the truth. Regardless, he cut me off. And it's been a bit since he did. He's back together with Rio again, I'm taking some time to move on and work on myself. And I recently just turned 20. I did get drunk and call him crying on my birthday, but I've decided to move on.
I probably shouldn't even ask again, but, do you guys think i was an asshole in this situation?

Thank you guys for your comments and advice on the last post.

I (24f) recently reconnected with a friend (25f) from early high school. We grew up together and were practically like sisters until she moved away freshman year, and we just slowly drifted apart. No fights, no drama, just simply grew into other friends and were physically apart. We followed each other on socials and one day I decided to reach out because I genuinely missed our friendship and wanted to reconnect. Everything was great….

When we reconnected we were talking about how busy our lives have been as adults and all the things. When she first saw me, she was complementing my car my apartment the things that I have which I didn’t see as a bad thing at the time I thought it was just a friend complementing another friend, but we’ll get into that later. I told her about my boyfriend and how we’re planning to move in together and how I started a new job and how much craziness comes with it because that was the topic of conversation. We haven’t seen each other in like 8 years. We bonded over how hard it was to find genuine friends at our age that can understand what it means to be busy and not partying and drinking all the time and so on. We had a text cadence of responding every day to every other day and we would sync schedules to hangout.

Things seemed fine until about last month. Before I went on back to back business trips while moving we went out for lunch. I felt like the vibes were kind of off every time I mentioned my boyfriend and I’s relationship or how good work was going. I know work and relationships in her life was rocky but she asked about mine and I thought I can be honest with her that I was genuinely happy and felt fulfilled in my life. After that day, we texted for 2 days and she hasn’t responded to me since but she posts all the time on IG that she’s out drinking, partying, clubbing and everything with the same girls that she was telling me did her wrong. (Left out some details for the sake of the amount of reading)

I took it personally because I wondered if I had said or did something wrong when we had lunch but my bf and I were talking about it and he feels that even if I didn’t do anything wrong directly, she may feel that I’m rubbing my good life in her face. And although I can understand that, I’m just still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

When I came back from my trip last week, I sent her a text asking how she’s doing and would love to chat over dinner before my next trip if she’s free and I had a feeling she may be going through something and that’s why she’s distant. She never responded and left me on read. After not hearing from her, I decided to Unfollow her and remove her as a friend because I kept seeing post of her going out with other people, she’d view my stories, doing the exact things that she complained other people do and completely ignored me.

I told one of my other friends about the situation and she told me last night that the girl posted a story that was pretty much about the fact that “someone” (me) unfollowed and removed her as a follower and how “bitches are petty af”. So AITAH for removing her and reading too much into it?

TLDR this is going to be a long read Hi I’m i’m not the best at explaining stuff like this so I’m gonna type out what was said between me and my friend who is the Dm for our dnd campaign. I am Me/R the dm/my friend is J and the other letters are just friends that are either watching the campaign or playing the campaign

J: Hey were about start soon are you able to come?

Me: Yeah, I’m able to come

J: Ight bet!

Me: Just let me know when you’re starting. I’m just taking medicine for my throat

J: Were about to start now

Me: Oh ok give me 50 seconds

J: Are you not able to speak at all?

Me: Yeah, it’s really bad. I didn’t think this would happen to my voice. I’ll see if I’ll be able to talk next time

We were a little bit into the session

Me: Hey, something kind of popped up and I might need to go cause it might be an family emergency so maybe in the next 10 minutes I might have to leave

Me: OK after my turn, I need to go cause it is a family emergency.

Me: J, I gotta go I’m so sorry

A few hours after they finished

J: Hey R I can kinda feel you being a bit nervous during everything and I know you still want to be like present during the campaign. How does becoming a spectator sound like T is?

Me: Oh, it’s not that I was nervous that much. It’s just I kind of couldn’t talk or really say anything I wanted to say. I was kinda iffy at first, but then I started to get OK. I’m better a bit.

J: Alright yes we can talk about this later

A few days later

Me: Hey sorry about the last time we talked all I’m gonna say is nephew is in hospital and I wasn’t doing too hot so sorry about how I was acting

J: But that’s not the issue that we have rn. The issue that we have is that you were untruthful to me and that deeply hurt me. And for that I am going to have to have you be a spectator for the time being. This isn’t something that’s permanent, but I need for that trust to be built back up again.

A day later

Me: What are you talking about saying I’ve been untruthful I wish I could’ve talked, but I don’t wanna damage my voice anymore

J: Ok well for starters this right here, you say you wasn't nervous. But at the same time you say you couldn't talk/say anything. And then went on to say that you was iffy but was getting better. That kinda tells me that you was nervous. Next it was the first time you back tracked. When you said you strained your voice when you texted. Now it you ruptured your voice? Two totally different things ngl. Then the second time you back tracked when you said you strained it a few days ago. Then later on you said you strained the night before we was going to start. Not to mention everything happening very last minute.

Me: Not being able to speak, doesn’t make me automatically nervous. yes there are people there that I don’t know. I’m also doing a lot of get out of my comfort zone i’m literally becoming an extrovert and also helping people forcing myself to use my voice more

I use words strain and rupture all the time I usually mean them as the same thing do I know the difference no, but I know that was not able to speak without it hurting

And my fault things have a last minute I wish I could control certain things that happened, but sometimes I can’t for example I can’t control if my nephew got hurt was sent to the hospital. I didn’t know screaming that much would rapture/strain my voice that badly. i’m also doing a lot of projects for people and personal projects at the same time so I’m sorry that some of the stuff is not going as planned every single time.

J: Ok well if you was taking on all of these projects and knew that you were straining/rupturing your voice why didn't you say something earlier? Why wait to the last minute to say anything? You knew weeks in advance that we was going to have this. And despite knowing this you decide to hold it off 1 hour before we start? If you had said anything I would have worked around it. But you said nothing making me think everything was fine when it wasn't.
In the end I am serious when I say this, you have been untruthful I gave you my reason why I think that. Again you are more than welcome to spectate but I'm not letting you be a player until I can trust you again. And that's by being truthful with me and valuing my time.

Me: Because I have the memory of a goldfish J and some things I just forget about and forget to tell people if I don’t talk to people for a while. I tend to forget they even exist sometimes. Like I sometimes forgot that you and M exist cause I haven’t talked to y’all in a while. Hell I forgot that the DND thing was that Saturday. Even F and E forgot. I’ve also been figuring out a super important life shit. that I just don’t talk about. Also, if I’ve known that I had symptoms of that stuff happened to my throat it doesn’t mean I know how serious or bad it’s gonna be I just thought my voice was gonna be a little raspy(I also didn’t know that the campaign was starting that day, cause I forgot). If you don’t believe me then ask someone who’s been through my mind and knows that I forget a lot of shit. J no offense, but you just went on a touchy subject for me because I hate that I forget things, but I’ve been trying ever since I could remember and I’m slowly getting better at it and it’s something that I hate talking about to people who don’t know what’s going in my mind. The only reason i’m still going on about this it’s because that if I didn’t say anything I would feel like I’m getting punched into a corner, forcing myself to say sorry to things I can’t control. So sorry if I’m a bit irritated rn.

J: I'm going to say this one more time, I know your being untruthful and again I gave my reason why i think that. I'm not saying your gone. I'm saying can watch until you build up that trust again.

Me: Look I know as a dm things that change last minute are stressful and it’s hard to make adjustments but we both need to know we’re playing a game to have fun and some life just happens and we both need to clear our heads and realize where we’re both coming from

J: I’m not going to say it again I made my decision and I’m not changing it until you gain my trust and I know you value time. Now we can talk and anything else but I am not going to repeat myself on this topic anymore.

Am I the asshole?

My friend dated a guy for about three months. During that time, she told me he grabbed and pulled her around, took her phone so she couldn’t text anyone, and tried to keep her away from friends and family. She also described sexual abuse, including him forcing her to have sex, calling his friends during sex, making her answer calls from her mom during sex, and telling her, “Don’t say no to me. You’ll like it anyway.”
I live over an hour away at a different college, so I haven’t personally witnessed most of this. What I know comes from what she has told me, photos she has shown me, and accounts from other friends. I have photos of bruises she said he caused by grabbing her. I’ve also been told he slapped her across the face in public, then claimed it was sexual, and nobody intervened.
She finally broke up with him after he tried to stop her from visiting me. Before they broke up, he also brought up proposing—even though they had only been together for three months. When she said she wasn’t ready, he told her, “I know. I’m just telling you so you can get ready.” They’ve now been broken up for about four months, and apparently he’s looking at rings again, even though they are not together.
Despite everything, she says she’s still in love with him. She talks to him daily, spends time with him, and goes to his house alone. She has also told me she’s tempted to sleep with him again.
I’m struggling to reconcile that with the conversations we’ve had. She came to me saying she had lived through her worst fear, how horrible it was, and how she never wanted to be in a relationship like that. Then, the following week, she was spending time with him again. I don’t doubt that what she told me happened. I just feel frightened and helpless because I don’t understand how to support her through this.
I’m also frustrated with how the people around her handle it. As far as I know, most of her friends are still friendly with him. One friend tried to confront him, but my friend stopped her because she “didn’t want drama.” It’s hard to hear this described as drama when I’m worried about her being assaulted again.
She says she still sees him because they go to the same bar, but I believe he goes there because he knows she’ll be there. Once, when I went with her, he showed up after finding out she was coming. When he saw me, he kept his distance. He knows I hate him and am willing to confront him. Another time, he got agitated while she was talking to another guy, and that guy said, “At least I don’t beat women.” Her ex backed off for the rest of the night.
Those incidents leave me wishing people wouldn’t act like his behavior is acceptable. But I also don’t know what would actually keep her safe beyond those individual moments. He’s around 6’6” and muscular, and she’s about 5’3” and much smaller, which adds to my fear.
I’m genuinely terrified that he could seriously hurt or kill her. Underneath my anger is the feeling that I’m watching someone I love remain close to a person who has already hurt her, and I can’t stop it.
My boyfriend says I should stop trying to make her cut him off and just be there for her if things get bad again. Part of me understands that I can’t make her decisions for her. Another part wants to distance myself because the fear, frustration, and repeated conversations are taking a toll on me.
How can I support her without feeling responsible for preventing whatever he does next? What boundaries are reasonable here? Is there a way to take some distance for my own well-being without making her feel abandoned?

EDIT: I have also been documenting everything and my family personally knows police in her area, would it be wrong of me to take legal action? she doesn’t want to so idk if I even could

EDIT 2: I think I already mentioned that she broke up with him because he wouldn’t let her see me, but she doesn’t play about me. She broke up with another ex for shit talking me and has him blocked for what he did to me (just verbal bullying nothing physical) so part of me believes if I cut her off over this she’ll leave him.

My brother has a new gf. They’ve been dating for a couple months. They decided to be bf and gf after 3 dates (which I think is weird given the fact that they’re both in the late 30’s.) My brother is VERY socially awkward and his former girlfriend (he’s only had one other than his current) was using him for his $ and was a genuinely horrible woman. My brother also is very “showy” with flaunting his assets and that can attract the wrong type of person. That being said- I’m skeptical about anyone who dates him for the wrong reasons.

My husband and I work in law enforcement and with the social climate the way it is, I really like to protect our privacy/safety. That being said, we don’t allow strangers in our home. I think regardless of our profession, a fair amount of people wouldn’t feel comfortable having a stranger in their home.

With holidays coming up, I told my brother that his gf was welcome to come for thanksgiving BUT I had to meet her first. We live an hour away from my brother so a double date is very feasible. He got angry with me about it. Am I the asshole for not letting this girl come over without meeting her first? I value the safe space of my home and I’m not willing to compromise that for someone I’ve never met.

I (21M) have been close friends with Peggy (20F) for about three years now. We have two other friends Angelica (23F) and Eliza (22F), who Peggy is currently roommates with. We have all known each other since freshman year of college and have been in the same core and extended friend group for a while now. Recently the relationship with the three of them has taken an unfortunate turn due to some poor decisions that were made.

Eliza and I have been hooking up since freshman year. Before we started seeing each other. I made it clear to her that our relationship would be that of a FWB, in which she agreed. And in exchange she asked me to not tell our friends about our relationship, to which I agreed. We continued this relationship for about three years and all seemed well until recently. 

A year ago at some point I came to the realization that I have romantic feelings for Angelica. Even though I had developed these feelings I did not act upon them at all. While Eliza had already shown signs of jealousy towards other women I involved myself with, it was painfully apparent she felt some type of way when Angelica and I would interact. I guess you could say she had a sense I liked Angelica before I even did. It had gotten to the point where other people around us had started to notice and began asking questions.

For clarification Eliza would regularly badmouth me to Peggy and Angelica. She would talk poorly about Angelica to me while we would hangout, and would cause constant miscommunication between the two of them and I. At one point there was an incident where Angelica called me very drunk and alone late at night on the street while Eliza and I were together. Naturally I dropped what we were doing and went to help her, but as I did Eliza had a major attitude shift and was clearly bothered by this. This confused me because instead of coming with or being  concerned for our friend she threatened to leave and go home for the night.

So on Valentine’s Day me, Peggy, and a group of friends decided to go out to some parties. On our way back from the function I drunkenly decided to tell Peggy about my situation with Eliza and accidentally mentioned my feelings for Angelica. I thought it was only a matter of time until she found out and wanted to tell her on my own terms. Lets just say that Peggy was not very happy for the next 48 hours, she screamed and cussed me out the whole way back. Later that night she decided to confront Eliza about our relationship, Eliza called me infuriated that I would tell Peggy about our "secret” relationship. I say “secret” as at this point in time almost everyone had some idea of what was going on, but refused to say anything.

The next day Eliza decided to tell Angelica about my feelings towards her and that Eliza and I had been hooking up. Angelica was very upset when she received the news and proceeded to send me a very angry and hurtful text message and blocked/removed me on different platforms.
Peggy told me the details of the conversation the three of them had that day, lets just say that Eliza lied and painted our relationship in a worse light then what it was. Neither Peggy nor Angelica believed her as Eliza had been lying to the two of them for three years, but Angelica was still upset with me.

I later had two separate conversations with Eliza and Angelica. My conversation with Eliza went along the lines of her refusing to answer my questions and denying any accusations against her. While my conversation with Angelica was a bit more productive, she said she did not hate me and was not mad at me, but she could not be friends with people who she has had feelings for and vice versa. 

Since then I have not had a proper conversation with either Angelica or Eliza, but I do talk to Peggy on the daily. Peggy and Eliza are not currently on talking terms as Eliza refuses to apologize for lying and blaming Peggy for what happened. Angelica and Eliza hate each other, but are pretending that everything is ok so as to keep the peace while they live together. This has unfortunately strained the friend groups dynamic as neither one of them wish to be in the same room as me, but continue to drunk text and call me every now and then. 

So AITAH for any of this, be honest please.

Edits: After reading some of the comments I wanted to clarify a couple things.

1. I suggested and wanted her to tell the friends she was closer to about our relationship from the beginning, as we had agreed that I was allowed to tell my friends/roommates about our situation. I did not want to keep this a secret from the group in the beginning.
2. Eliza had repeatedly denied having any romantic feelings for me throughout the three years and stated she was perfectly okay with how things were. So I felt no need to question her any further.
3. Concerning the badmouthing and lying Eliza had done I was not aware of it while seeing her at the time and was only recently informed of this by Peggy and Angelica after everything had gone down.

My friend, Kate and her boyfriend, Issac, have been together for about a year. I actually introduced them, and I’m friends with both of them.

This summer, I went to Issac’s mom’s pool with them. Almost a month later, Issac texted me saying my butt looked good that day. I’m engaged, and the message made me uncomfortable. He later told me he was drunk, didn’t mean anything by it, and thought it would be funny.

I told my fiancé, who said I should handle it however I felt was appropriate. I texted Issac and told him the comment made me uncomfortable. He apologized, and I thought that was the end of it. I had other things going on at the time, so I took a big step back from the friendship.

About a week later, Kate called me because Issac had deleted our texts and she wanted to know what happened. I told her everything. She said she was going to break up with him, but ultimately that never happened.

Now, Kate hasn’t said anything to me directly, but she’s told a mutual friend that I owe her an apology for not telling her sooner.

Here’s where I’m conflicted. Earlier this year, Kate drunkenly confessed to me that she was in love with her guy best friend. She later said she didn’t mean it and specifically asked me not to tell Issac, but I’m really regretting not telling him considering all of this.

I understand why she might be upset that I didn’t tell her about Issac’s message right away. However, I was uncomfortable with the comment and addressed it directly with him. I wasn’t trying to hide anything or protect Issac. I was UNCOMFORTABLE.

So, AITAH? Should I apologize to Kate for not telling her immediately, or was it reasonable to handle the situation directly with Issac? Do I tell Issac about Kate’s drunk confession?

I’m genuinely looking for outside perspectives because I’m not sure if I should keep these friendships. They’re clearly toxic

Edit -
Thanks for all the fast replies. I’m going to cut these people out. I look forward to being an adult after it’s all over
I’ll provide updates if there are any

I’m 22, work in finance, and get home only around 8pm. I’ve been making it a habit to get back in the gym and lift metal again like I had been 4x a week in college.

I go to this Russian gym near my house which generally has a chill atmosphere and isn’t anal about rules/noise, especially if you’re Russian speaking like myself, and as long as you aren’t a pig. I had been going to this gym consistently for about 1.5 years by now, and never had an issue with anyone/anything. Until this middle aged personal trainer/staff dude joined.

My first interaction with him was a few months back where I was doing chest press and didn’t put back the 45 pound plates after I finished. This was an early morning lift right after graduation, and there were maybe 3 other dudes besides myself in this large section. Of course, this PT/staff guy was apparently paying attention to me and approached me after my first dumbbell set asking me to re rack the 45s from my previous exercise.

I was annoyed as fuck because 1) no one in this gym besides him ever gave/gives a crap about reracking, and 2) he interrupted my music and exercise. I still bit my tongue and said “alright” and put them back. Again, maybe 20% of the people here re-rack, and I’ve literally worked out right next to this other personal trainer who gave me a pointer on form, and didn’t give a rats ass when I, or others near us, didn’t re-rack. It’s clear this specific dude has nothing better to do as there isn’t even a sign or rule in this gym about re-racking.

Fast forward to yesterday, 4 months later. It’s a packed gym, and I get to the shoulder press. It’s late and I’m tired after a long work day. The press already has 35s on it, so I simply add another 5 and a 10, then do my 3x12 as usual. I finish and take all the plates off together, putting them on the same pin/bar, whatever you wanna call it.

Before I even GET to the second handle/other side, this fart comes up to me shaking his head sarcastically saying “nye, nye” (no in Russian). The guy must have literally been itching to bother me, given how ridiculously prematurely he walked up. Clearly on some power trip. I ask him point blank “Sup” and he responds with his same condescending babying re-racking BS. I tell him “what’s the problem, I re racked it?”

He responds in the same tone that I have to rerack properly, and that he had cleaned and organized it all out until I got here (which is a lie, as I only saw him enter the area after my first set, and there were literally ALREADY weights on this machine when I started). I was getting pissed and told him “there were literally un-racked 35s when I got here, and I got the other weights from 2 steps away. Does it matter that much where I put them?”. He starts responding in this same smartass manner, even though he was already re-racking for me. Mid-sentence, I said “Ok, got it” and turned my back on him, moving on with my routine, before he could finish his word salad. 50/50 on whether he was searching my membership, as I saw him at the front desk on my way out.

Mind you, I’ve seen countless people leave their 45 pound plates on, and he’s NEVER approached them. Yet not even 3 seconds after I finish my exercise before I even fully clean up, he’s on my ass.

Am I wrong here, or does this dude need to chill? If he approaches me again I’m straight up telling him to get his manager because I’m done with him. I’m not fighting, I’m not arguing, just get your manager if you have a problem with me.

EDIT:

- She said "Oh! Where are you from?"

I said: Czech Republic

- Then "Hmm. But you are not TOO difficult to understand."

I said: Yeah I have 6 years here, I just represented Brazil in a competition abroad.

- She ignored that and said "Why did you come here?"

- I said work.

I live in Brazil, I immigrated here from the Czech Republic, escaping a very physically not good situation. Logically, I live alone because I don't want to ever go through what I went through again, and I am here permanently (with docs resolved) because the wider situation in the east. Naturally I don't tell people that I live with about my history. I am in the queue for adoption and will be a solo parent soon, but for now I pour my free time into strength sports. This weekend was the first time I represented Brazil at an international competition, and I won.

I live in a condo building with front gate staff and security. Everyone who works here is very chatty and super nice. You normally stop by and have a little small talk. People with pets have a small talk about pets. People with kids have a small talk about kids. In my case, the employees here usually make comments about my trainings - we're all in a whatsapp group and they watch my statuses. To me it's a fun conversational point, I train strongman which looks very entertaining with the circus dumbbells and yokes and pulling of cars and such.

I specifically like to use this as a way to avoid talking about me being an immigrant, because I don't want to tell anybody my trauma story, without having to lie about why i immigrated because then I would have to monitor which version I told whom and inevitably I would get lost in that later.

Yesterday late at night I came home from the two day competition, with the trophy in hand (so that it doesn't break in the suitcase) and I expected it to be the safe point of the small talk at the front gate. But there was a new employee last night, and because I was tired I stuttered when I greeted her. She lighted up and started interrogating me on where I am from and what am I doing in Brazil, which annoyed me. I responded her questions as curtly as possible, kept being nice and left asap, and then vented to other people.

But all local people told me that I was an asshole to the employee for expecting that she would make small talk about sports the same way it's done about pets and kids. I was told I am conceited, that my sports achievements mean nothing in history and I need to be taken down a notch. But that's not the point - people's pets also mean nothing in history, in this context it's just a conversation, a way to make everyone feel welcome in our building and make a warm conversation. But nobody wants to hear it, it's like people feel like it's their right to question you about your past when you weren't born here and when you don't like it you get called an asshole.

Am I the asshole?

Hi everyone, I have a cousin who is literally like my twin brother. We're EXTREMELY close, to the point where people actually think we're siblings. We're always the first to know about each other's plans, especially birthdays, and we've never had anyone come between us. I also have a boyfriend of 5-6 years who is good friends with my cousin.

Around 4 years ago, my boyfriend and I broke up for about a year. During that time, a girl (let's call her Suzie) developed feelings for him. They went to homecoming together, but he made it clear they were ONLY friends because he still had feelings for me. Apparently, she didn't take that well because she's seemed to have a grudge against me ever since, even though I had never met her.

Fast forward 2 years, we're at prom with our own dates, and I kept catching her giving me nasty side eyes. I brushed it off because I didn't even know her personally.

Another 2 years later, present time, I see her at a college party and smile and wave at her TWICE, only to be completely ignored both times. At that point, I figured she still had some issue with me, but I didn't care enough to confront her.

A week later, my cousin FaceTimes me asking about the supposed "beef" between us. I told him there was no beef on my end, and if she had an issue with me, I genuinely didn't know why. Since they go to the same college, he spoke to her and explained that he couldn't be friends with someone who hated me because of how close we are. She denied having any issue with me, and he believed her. I didn't, but I let it go.

Now here's where the actual issue starts.

A month later, I receive an invitation to my cousin's birthday party, only TWO weeks before it's happening. I noticed everyone else had received theirs over a month earlier, which was weird considering we're ALWAYS the first people invited to each other's birthdays.

When I casually asked why, he told me he'd gotten really close with Suzie and had to ASK HER PERMISSION before inviting me.

I was confused until I found out she was hosting his birthday at her house. That made more sense, but I still found it weird that my own cousin had to basically get approval to invite me to HIS birthday.

What really bothered me was when he admitted he couldn't invite me earlier because my presence could've caused the ENTIRE party to be canceled. Mind you, I've never once said I had an issue with this girl.

He was actively telling everyone to save the date over a month ago, including friends he met THROUGH ME, while I wasn't even told about it.

I tried explaining why this hurt me, but he keeps shutting down the conversation. My best friends and roommates think I shouldn't even go because they see it as him prioritizing a girl he recently became close with less than a month ago, over someone who's practically his sister.

I understand it's her house, but I can't help feeling disrespected that I was treated like an optional guest at my own cousin's birthday.

Am I overreacting for feeling this way, and would I be wrong for not going?

I am 18M and have just finished school. I work two jobs: Bunnings (basically the Australian version of Home Depot) 3-4 times a week & with an Electrician once a week.The electrician job was part of my schooling; I'd go three days a week to school, then one day to TAFE (Trade School) and one day with the Electrician. There is a possibility that this will lead into an apprenticeship but my parents don’t seem to care too much about that job comparatively.

The problem is that the steel processing plant advertised an apprenticeship recently. Many people that my parents know work/ have worked there. The applications have just finished last week and my parents are still annoyed that I didn’t apply.

I didn’t want to apply because in the past when I have applied for jobs my mum always ends up doing most of the application. I write a draft and she proofreads it. But she always gets frustrated at how I have written things, takes over because she thinks she is more experienced and ends up doing most of the application. I don’t want to do this again.

Also I want to do something on my own in the next few months, like travelling alone. If I committed to an apprenticeship it would be hard to find the time to do this as it does go over the full work week. Additionally I would have to drop my current jobs that I do enjoy.

I’m not against the idea of doing a trade, especially as I have experience with the electrician and there is still hope that that job could become something. However, I don’t want to jump into something because my parents think it’s the best idea. I have other things I want to do. My parents seem to think that by not applying I have missed a great opportunity. Whereas I think I just want to have some control over my decisions.

so, AITAH?

I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Gina's wedding and she asked me to host a get together at my place since it was the most central location for all the bridesmaids (8 people total) to get together for the first time and start planning events. G took care of most of the party planning but I offered to get pizza for everyone, Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian pizza for her sister Maggie as she does not eat meat. I did so and when the pizza arrived I made sure to announce that the one vegetarian pizza was meant for Gina's sister and told her which pizza was hers.

After awhile I noticed that despite my announcement people had been taking slices of the vegetarian pizza and there were only two slices left meanwhile Maggie was occupied and hadn't had any yet. I went up to Maggie and reminded her the pizza was there but she brushed me off saying she'd get some later. After that I went and closed up that pizza box and put it to the side to make sure Maggie would still have enough to eat. There were still other pizzas on the table available for everyone else.

Another hour passed and I noticed another girl Bea was eating one of the remaining slices of the vegetarian pizza. Shocked, I asked her if she was vegetarian and she said no but said she had tried all of the pizzas earlier and that one tasted the best so she was having another slice. I told her that was supposed to be for Maggie, but she shrugged and said there was still one left for her. Later Maggie finally went to eat her pizza and seeing that there was only one slice left complained there wasn't enough for her to eat. Gina commented to me later she thought i'd get enough for everyone.

There were still other pizzas left on the table mind you, I didn't expect other people to be eating the vegetarian pizza when it was made clear that was the only pizza Maggie could eat and there were still other slices there that everyone else could have. Gina only specified to me to order one vegetarian pizza so that's what i did. But I still feel bad that Maggie didn't end up having enough to eat. AITAH?

EDIT: Wow I didn't expect this post to get so many responses. More info below

The party was an afternoon gathering (2-4pm) and initially I wasn't even expected to provide food, Gina had asked if I could book my condo's party room for us to use solely because of the location convenience and never said anything to me about food other than saying she would bring some chips and other snacks for us. I offered to get the pizzas when she asked me about using my place as I assumed the group would want something more to munch on and I felt like providing something more substantial was simply the polite thing to do as the location host. 

Before I ordered the pizzas I asked the group what everyone wanted and everyone said they didn't care, this is also when Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian option, Maggie didn't even say anything. I also brought down a pineapple and cut up other fruits for everyone along with providing drinks.

For the pizzas I simply chose the 4 most popular options that were listed at the top of the app (one of which was the veggie option which was cheese with vodka sauce and pesto) since everyone said they didn't care. They were large size with 8 slices each so 32 slices total. I assumed everyone would have 2-3 slices each so thought that would be enough for the vegetarian girl to have along with a few others to try a slice if they wanted. 

Yes this is my first time ordering pizza for a group and I honestly have never noticed that the veggie/cheese options were popular at other pizza gatherings i've been to. I had always seen those ones being leftover and unwanted so figured one was enough. To everyone saying I am TA I am sorry and I will order more veggie options next time.

This is honestly so ridiculous that I can’t believe I’m even asking this, but here we go.

My mom just wanted to print out a HUGE portrait of me and my brother on a wall near the entrance. The problem? It was AI-generated.

She showed me the picture, and it was one of those painfully obvious AI pictures with the dramatic sunset lighting and that overly perfect, uncanny look. It didn’t even feel like a real picture of me.

I told her I didn’t want it hanging on the wall and asked her to please not put it up. I even suggested that if she wanted a big portrait of us, we could just take an actual picture of me and my brother instead.
I also explained that it would honestly be
embarrassing to have guests over with a massive, obviously AI-generated portrait of myself hanging right in the middle of the wall. I don’t have anything against AI in general and laughed along with her whenever she generated some weird pictures of us for fun, but I personally don’t want a giant, fake-looking version of myself displayed in my own home.

She immediately got defensive and started arguing with me. At some point, she literally told me that I AM the most embarrassing person she knows.
For context, this isn’t an isolated incident. Whenever there’s a disagreement with my mom, she has a tendency to turn it into a personal attack instead of actually discussing the issue. Throughout my childhood, I’ve been told that I’m weird, embarrassing, that I’ll amount to nothing, and all sorts of other things that have stuck with me.
So, after she said that, I snapped and told her that she’s sick in the head.

Obviously, I could have chosen my words better, but I’m honestly exhausted by how every little disagreement turns into an attack on my character.

We were literally arguing about a freaking AI portrait, and somehow it became another opportunity for her to insult me personally.

Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for insulting her back, especially considering that the whole thing started over something so stupid.
I feel like I should be allowed to say I don’t want a giant AI-generated portrait of myself hanging on the wall without being personally attacked for it.

So, AITAH?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/zZlFU667xu link to the first post

I wish I could say things have improved but they haven't.

We'll begin with Gregs birthday. Polly changed the date, so we could have gone. But we weren't told this until after the party happened. Mutual friends have said it wasn't great, they just hung in an airbnb for a few days with no plans or anything, but it seems Greg had a good time and thats what matters most I guess.

Following that, Greg complained to their mum about how me and bf had been invited at least 6 times and refused to go. Their mum then showed him proof that polly kicked us out of the group after bf said we were busy on his actual birthday. Greg hasnt brought it up since as far as we know, but at least he knows we didnt choose not to go. If we'd known they'd changed the date, we would have 100% gone.

My bf then had his actual birthday. Greg entered our house while we weren't there and left a tin of coffee and a card that told bf to check his emails. My bf likes coffee an average amount so it was an odd gift. Also, I felt pretty negative about someone entering our house while we weren't there and not even sending a text beforehand. I considered getting cameras after because if he can do it once, who's to say he wont do it again?

Now about the email. My bf had no email. We knew it was going to be a gift card, greg had told me this prior in the last contact weve had 2 months ago. Their mum had to tell greg that bf didnt get the email. Greg got argumentative and said he'd send it again right then. He didnt. After more hassle from their mum, he finally sent it over, with a receipt that proved he hadn't even purchased it until that day, weeks after he'd given bf the card that said "check your email". So thats fun

Anyway i could say so much more about gregs recent behaviour but ill just say one more thing.

Last week, their mum was going into hospital for a procedure to test for cancer. Shes understandably worried. We all are. Greg doesn't even know because he hasnt contacted her in weeks. He happens to call her on the morning of the procedure and demands she sends his birth certificate over or he'll be fired. She tells him shes going into hospital and it will have to wait until after. He blows up on her about how he needs it immediately and it'll be her fault if he gets fired.

He doesn't even ask why shes going to hospital.

He still hasn't asked.

I dont think he'll ever ask, all he cares about is himself and polly.

Bf is understandably very worried about their mum and also angry at how greg is treating everyone. He only contacts people when he needs things.

I hope shes not got cancer. Honestly thats what matters right now and im fuming that he didnt even care to ask why his mum was going into hospital. Shes terrified and im sure shed love to have BOTH of her kids supporting her. I also wish bf had his older brother there to support him. But alas

Im sorry the update isnt good. I really hope if I update again, it'll be with good news