r/AITAH • u/Fine-Preparation-691 • Sep 16 '26
NSFW AITAH for sleeping with my best friend as soon as he left his BF?
Hey guys, so I'm (19M) kinda on the fence in this situation and I don't know whether or not I really messed up here.
So, here's some names you'll need to know in this story (all made up for privacy): Marsh (Best Friend 20M), Rio (Marsh's Boyfriend/ my friend 20M), Elsa (Rio's Best Friend 20F).
So, I met Rio over the summer at a college thing. For reference, he's a Sophomore, Marsh is a Junior, Else is a Sophomore, and I'm a Super-senior (5th year bachelors student).
We clicked pretty quickly but our friendship was made primarily online since we live in different provinces and school wasn't on. We kinda figured out each other was gay and eventually felt comfortable coming out to each other before the semester started. Now, I met Marsh back in April, however it was more of a passing thing at an event and I had no intent of ever seeing him again, despite an instant attraction to him. Marsh was also at the thing where I met Rio but he's Autistic and not really social so we didn't talk.
When the semester started in April, we quickly became thick as thieves, all living at the school dorms. Fun fact, Marsh hated me for a bit because he assumed I liked Rio. Anywho, Rio became very busy (med student) and so Rio and I were always hanging out. We quickly became best friends bc of our similar lives. Like genuinely if we wrote our our lives on paper and asked someone to guess which was which, they probably would get it wrong. So we're hanging out and Marsh confides in me that Rio's cheated before. Now at this point Ive long realized I have a crush on Marsh, so I try not to influence him. Advising him to do what he needs to to protect his own heart, but only what he wants. He ended up checking Rio's tablet again one night and saw him using grindr, having hooked up with a stranger in the days prior. Marsh kicked him out of his room and tried calling me, but it was like 3am so I was out like a lamp. The next morning at 7,i went over to Marsh's room to check on him and we end up cuddling, platonically.
I had something to go do, so I left and when I returned, they had officially broken up. We cuddled more, but as I started to fall asleep with him, I felt him pulling my fingers and leaning into me more. When we woke up, I confronted him and asked if he was doing what I thought. He confirmed, and I reassured him that I'd never take advantage of him. He bought liquor that night, but I refused to drink and turned on a movie. We ended up cuddling and he hasn't even sipped his cup yet when he turns and kisses me. I froze, stopped him and confessed my feelings, telling him to stop if it's gonna complicate what we had, that I didn't wanna be a rebound,and that no matter what, we tell Rio. He reassured me that even if he returned to Rio, we'd go back to being friends. So, I gave in. Stupid, I know.
Things went smoothly for a week or so. We never had full on sex but oral and stuff. I urged him to tell Rio, but he refused. So I chose to hold off until he was comfortable.
One day, he tried to get me to have sex with him, like penetration. I refused (I'm demisexual and value relationships over sex) and he said it was fine. But by the afternoon he was talking to Rio again, crying over his phone, and when I asked him what was happening, he kicked me out of his room.
I ended up falling asleep in my own room, waking up to a black out and the news that they were getting back together. I won't lie, I did tell him he was moving way too fasta nd needed to think it over, but that was it. Yet, that night, we ended up in bed. But Rio came knocking and the second he saw me in the room, he pulled Marsh outside to talk. Realizing how lock they were taking, I knew what was coming. I left his room and went over to Elsa's room. Telling her everything, because I knew Marsh would lie to Rio.
We all stopped talking for a while, which sucked bc I didn't know what happened between them. Marsh and Rio blocked me. But eventually, Marsh confirmed everything to me. And Rio sent me a couple pages of frustration, apparently someone lied to him and painted me out to be a monster that took advantage of Marsh. I got mad at Marsh and yelled at him over text, in frustration. But I later found out Elsa sort of twisted the story and messed everything up, kinda like a unreliable source ig. Since then, Marsh and I have reconciled but we have to hang out in secret when Rio isn't around. Elsa is still a friend I guess. I don't think I fully trust her at all, so I just haven't decided whether or not to cut her off. Rio hates me. I've tried to reach out and apologize multiple times, leaving handwritten 3-page letters at his doors. And he hasn't responded. I ran into him and said hi, he acted like I didn't exist. So Reddit, am I the asshole for sleeping with my best friend?
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u/shyfidelity Sep 16 '26
YTA for acting like immediately sleeping with Marsh and Rio walking in on you shouldn’t change the way Rio wants to engage with you lol
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u/Fine-Preparation-691 Sep 16 '26
I'm not mad at him, I get why he's upset but like. Why am I d only one getting punished for a shared situation? My thing is, why should I have to sneak around with my best friend just to hang out, while he's openly friends with his ex-hookups
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u/BeholdTheseComics Sep 16 '26
I'm a Super-senior (5th year bachelors student).
And you're 19...?
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u/Fine-Preparation-691 Sep 16 '26
Yeah I got skipped in elementary lol
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u/BeholdTheseComics Sep 16 '26
That doesn't make any sense unless you skipped every grade in elementary school
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u/Relevant_Health Sep 16 '26
Skipped 4 years??
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u/Fine-Preparation-691 Sep 16 '26
Just 1. Caribbean school is different
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u/CptKUSSCryAllTheTime Sep 16 '26
Different from what? The average age of graduation from HS is 16-18. Same as most countries. 16 being students who were “skipped” a grade or had a different graduation plan that allowed them to take extra/less classes to graduate. If you’re a 5th year senior that started uni immediately after graduation, that would mean you graduated secondary at 14. That damn near unheard of. No matter where you live.
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u/leavesonthevine- Sep 16 '26
To be a fifth year college student at 19 you would have had to started at 14.
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u/CptKUSSCryAllTheTime Sep 16 '26
So the ex came knocking on the door AND found you two in bed cuddling?
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u/Fine-Preparation-691 Sep 16 '26
Sort of? We were sitting up by the time he came in. But Marsh was pulling up his pants, he was in under wear
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u/Dabalam Sep 16 '26
I don't think any of you are actually friends tbh
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u/Fine-Preparation-691 Sep 16 '26
Marsh and I are. Honestly. It's complicated. We try to make fun of the situation but it's awkward.
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u/Dabalam Sep 16 '26
I don't think you are. You admit you had feelings for him. You had sex with him very shortly after he "broke up" with Rio. I think you both like each other more than platonically which is going to lead to these messy situations moving forward if you stay "friends".
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u/OfficialBroccoliRob Sep 16 '26
ESH. Rio cheated, Marsh immediately rebounded with his best friend, OP knowingly became the rebound, Elsa apparently rewrote the story, and now everyone is sneaking around. This friend group needs approximately six months of not dating each other.