I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Gina's wedding and she asked me to host a get together at my place since it was the most central location for all the bridesmaids (8 people total) to get together for the first time and start planning events. G took care of most of the party planning but I offered to get pizza for everyone, Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian pizza for her sister Maggie as she does not eat meat. I did so and when the pizza arrived I made sure to announce that the one vegetarian pizza was meant for Gina's sister and told her which pizza was hers.

After awhile I noticed that despite my announcement people had been taking slices of the vegetarian pizza and there were only two slices left meanwhile Maggie was occupied and hadn't had any yet. I went up to Maggie and reminded her the pizza was there but she brushed me off saying she'd get some later. After that I went and closed up that pizza box and put it to the side to make sure Maggie would still have enough to eat. There were still other pizzas on the table available for everyone else.

Another hour passed and I noticed another girl Bea was eating one of the remaining slices of the vegetarian pizza. Shocked, I asked her if she was vegetarian and she said no but said she had tried all of the pizzas earlier and that one tasted the best so she was having another slice. I told her that was supposed to be for Maggie, but she shrugged and said there was still one left for her. Later Maggie finally went to eat her pizza and seeing that there was only one slice left complained there wasn't enough for her to eat. Gina commented to me later she thought i'd get enough for everyone.

There were still other pizzas left on the table mind you, I didn't expect other people to be eating the vegetarian pizza when it was made clear that was the only pizza Maggie could eat and there were still other slices there that everyone else could have. Gina only specified to me to order one vegetarian pizza so that's what i did. But I still feel bad that Maggie didn't end up having enough to eat. AITAH?

EDIT: Wow I didn't expect this post to get so many responses. More info below

The party was an afternoon gathering (2-4pm) and initially I wasn't even expected to provide food, Gina had asked if I could book my condo's party room for us to use solely because of the location convenience and never said anything to me about food other than saying she would bring some chips and other snacks for us. I offered to get the pizzas when she asked me about using my place as I assumed the group would want something more to munch on and I felt like providing something more substantial was simply the polite thing to do as the location host. 

Before I ordered the pizzas I asked the group what everyone wanted and everyone said they didn't care, this is also when Gina asked me to make sure I got one vegetarian option, Maggie didn't even say anything. I also brought down a pineapple and cut up other fruits for everyone along with providing drinks.

For the pizzas I simply chose the 4 most popular options that were listed at the top of the app (one of which was the veggie option which was cheese with vodka sauce and pesto) since everyone said they didn't care. They were large size with 8 slices each so 32 slices total. I assumed everyone would have 2-3 slices each so thought that would be enough for the vegetarian girl to have along with a few others to try a slice if they wanted. 

Yes this is my first time ordering pizza for a group and I honestly have never noticed that the veggie/cheese options were popular at other pizza gatherings i've been to. I had always seen those ones being leftover and unwanted so figured one was enough. To everyone saying I am TA I am sorry and I will order more veggie options next time.

My neighbors have a weiner dog mix. We live out in the country so we don’t have a ton of traffic. But my neighbors live back in the woods, far from the road. We live basically right next to the road. They have this little dog who is at our house constantly. He’s cute for a bit but we don’t have dogs and we don’t want dogs. This dog likes to lay in the middle of the road right in front of our house and in the past month we’ve had 6 people stop to tell us about him being in the road. We always tell people he’s not ours but I’ll let the owners know. I’ve messaged the owners and half the time she reads it and doesn’t respond. Now tonight I just had an angry lady drive by and yell at me “YOUR DOG IS IN THE ROADDDD”. AITAH for putting a sign in the yard stating “the little white dog in the road is not ours”. The owners would make our lives hell if we called animal control. I’m surprised someone hasn’t done it already.

I (F27) received a Lego set for my birthday. It was a joint gift from two of my best friends, Harry (M29) and Alice (F27). It’s a big Lego set of a tuxedo cat, and it cost them almost £100, which is way more expensive of a gift than I’ve ever received from those two - usually we spend at most £25 on each other.

I don’t want this Lego cat. I hate saying that because it’s a really cool gift. The box sits in the corner, unopened, taunting me. Don’t get me wrong - I have lots of free time where I could be assembling this thing - but it’s 1700 pieces! This summer I bought myself a tiny Lego set at a supermarket, it was 160 pieces and that took me over an hour! I hated it! I’m just not built (haha) for Lego. I don’t have the patience. This god damn Lego cat would take me at least 10 hours. I don’t want to spend 10 hours to build this creepy looking cat that will just sit in the corner of my lounge and gather dust.

Here’s the really stupid part of this dilemma that makes me feel like an ungrateful brat…

Just before my birthday Alice (amateur filmmaker) used my house as a film set. In doing so one of her team broke one of my lamps. Not a problem! It happens! Alice said “that makes your birthday present easy - I’ll just buy you a new lamp”. Perfect. She even sent over a couple of examples to gauge what sort of lamps I liked. So I was really expecting a replacement lamp. My birthday rolls around, I get given this bloody massive box, and… it’s a Lego cat. From both Harry and Alice. So it’s not like I was going to get a separate lamp from Alice. I dread to think how confused I must’ve looked opening that box.

And now every time my friends come over (which is at least twice a month) one or both will point out that I haven’t made a start on the cat. I always want to say “I can’t, my lounge is too dark”.

Would I be an asshole for selling the Lego set online, and using the money to buy myself a replacement lamp? I don’t want to hurt Harry and Alice’s feelings but I just have absolutely no interest in Lego!

Edit: The box 100% has Lego in and isn’t a fake out.

The other day, while we were in the ER because my mother’s kidney function was declining due to her cancer, my eldest sister, A, went on a rant about how she is the only one who takes care of our mother and how we should all be thanking her. She was hysterical and screaming at my other sister, B.
I heard the commotion and went over to de-escalate the situation. I told them both that their behavior was inappropriate and asked B to stop responding. I then pulled B away to another area of the hospital.
A followed me and started screaming at me. I ignored her and responded with only one sentence: “Do you take care of Mom for people to thank you, or do you do it because she’s your mom?”
Mind you, A doesn’t even live with us. B and I are the ones who take care of our mother.
A ended up physically attacking me. I am not a violent person, nor did I want to engage with her physically, so I asked the nearest nurse to call security. I also told A that if she laid a hand on me one more time, I would not hesitate to have her admitted.
I left the hospital afterward because I didn’t want my mother, who was already in pain, to find out what had happened. However, A went to my mother crying and told her everything anyway.
My mother then called me and told me that I was inconsiderate, that I was cruel to A, and that she didn’t know how I had turned out this way. She accused me of causing a scene by calling security and said I was cruel and horrible for even considering having A admitted, rather than making sure I was okay when I was the one who had been attacked.
I tried to explain myself to my mother. I told her that I never wanted her to pick a side, but that I was the one who had been harmed, and she had somehow still found a way to make me the bad guy.
I told her that I loved her and that I was praying for her recovery, but that what had happened wasn’t right. She told me to save my prayers for myself and accused me of being jealous of A.
A few days later, I sent my mother another text, hoping she would have calmed down by then. I tried once again to explain my perspective, but she told me to stop playing the victim.
Later, she sent a message in our sisters’ group chat, saying that B and I were horrible because we hadn’t stayed in the hospital with her, unlike A. She said she couldn’t believe how heartless we both were.
I responded by explaining that she had been the one who didn’t want me in the hospital in the first place. I also reminded her that she had explicitly told B that she wanted A to be the one staying with her. When B had tried to coordinate shifts with A so that we could all take turns being with our mother, A had refused to let anyone else stay with her.
B and I explained all of this to our mother, but she continued to send voice notes of herself yelling at me, calling me cruel and heartless. She went on a long rant about how I needed to stop bringing A into every conversation, even though she was the one who had brought A up in the first place.
In the end, I told my mother that I was praying for her recovery, and I stopped replying.

So I’m a RN in a state where breaks are not mandatory and are rare. My department is pretty good about getting us our 30 minute lunch break during our 13 hour shifts but no other breaks. While sitting at lunch today one of my colleagues comes up to me and starts yammering on and on. I’m just trying to enjoy my food and some legit quiet to reduce overstimulation. I don’t respond hoping she will get the hint. Then she says ‘well aren’t you a barrel of joy to talk to’. I respond ‘I get 30 minutes to eat and relax. I don’t want to socialize. Please respect my 30 minutes’. My coworker was miffed to say the least. I don’t know if it was because I am normally bubbly and chatty/friendly and it threw her off or what. I value my 30 minutes to enjoy my food and get away from the monitor alas etc. AITAH?

I’m 21F and I recently went on a weekend trip to Paris with one of my closest friends (22F) and her boyfriend (23M). Or at least I thought I was going with both of them, turns out he had no idea I was coming until about two days before we left.
Basically my friend Lucy invited me a few months ago, saying her boyfriend had booked a really nice hotel for their anniversary but she’d rather make a weekend of it with me as well since we’d been talking about going to Paris for ages. I thought it was a little strange but she said he’d suggested it himself because he knew we were close. She also told me not to worry about the hotel because he’d already paid for a suite with two bedrooms, so I just booked my own flights.
The trip itself was fine, although looking back there were a few moments where he seemed slightly irritated by my presence. I assumed they were having some sort of argument and tried to give them space, even spent most of Saturday exploring by myself because I didn’t want to third-wheel.
Anyway on our last night he mentioned something about how he’d originally planned the weekend as a surprise for Lucy, and I jokingly apologised for crashing their anniversary. He looked confused and asked what I meant by crashing, so I said Lucy had told me he’d invited me.
He went completely quiet.
Apparently he’d booked the trip months ago as a romantic getaway, including a rather expensive suite, and Lucy had invited me without asking him because she thought it’d be more fun having me there. He’d been told I was coming two days before departure and she’d made it sound like I’d essentially invited myself after hearing about their plans.
I was mortified. Like genuinely, I can’t think of many things more embarrassing than discovering someone has spent an entire weekend thinking you’re an inconsiderate guest who decided to insert herself into their anniversary.
I confronted Lucy afterwards and she admitted she’d lied but said she hadn’t expected it to become such a big deal. Apparently she finds travelling alone with her boyfriend a bit boring because he’s quite particular about schedules and doesn’t enjoy shopping or going out as much as she does. Which seems like something she might’ve considered before agreeing to go on a romantic holiday with him.
Now here’s where it gets ridiculous. Her boyfriend has asked her to reimburse him for part of the hotel because the trip wasn’t what he’d booked or paid for, and she’s decided I should contribute £600 since I stayed there.
I initially refused because I would’ve happily paid for my accommodation if she’d told me that was the arrangement from the beginning, but I booked flights and took time off work under the impression that I was an invited guest. Had I known I was essentially being smuggled into someone’s anniversary trip I wouldn’t have gone at all.
After thinking about it though, I offered to pay £300, so half of what she’s asking. I figured that while I wasn’t responsible for the situation, I did still stay in a very nice hotel and it wouldn’t be entirely fair to pretend I hadn’t benefited from it. I thought that was a reasonable compromise considering I never agreed to pay anything in the first place.
Lucy wasn’t happy with that either. She’s saying that regardless of the circumstances I still benefited from staying in an expensive hotel for free, and that refusing to contribute the full amount is taking advantage of her boyfriend’s generosity. Which I find quite interesting considering he apparently wasn’t feeling particularly generous towards me in the first place.
I also found out she’s told a few mutual friends that I embarrassed her in front of her boyfriend by bringing up the invitation at dinner, as though I was supposed to know there was some elaborate lie I needed to maintain.
I do feel bad for him, which is partly why I offered the £300, but I really don’t think I should be financially responsible for the full cost of a situation I was deliberately misled into. And frankly if I’d known I was expected to pay £600 for a weekend in Paris I would’ve booked my own accommodation and at least had the luxury of not spending half the trip feeling like an unwanted guest.
AITA for only offering to pay half, even though I did technically get a free hotel stay out of it?

Hi.

My fiancée (30F) and I (32M) live in a 1-bedroom apartment, about 52 sqm (~560 sq ft). Her brother moved in with us in February. The plan was for him to stay with their other sister, but they didn't get along, so he ended up with us instead. We helped because he had nowhere to go, and I have no problem with him. He's moving out next week.

That sister (call her S) now wants to move in right after he leaves, so she can rent out her own apartment and save up to move to another country (not out of necessity, but out of choice). She says that she is tired of our country and has nothing here (she has a lease, a job, and most importantly, absolutely no savings). S told me it would be "a few weeks." I later found out she had told my fiancée January or February. By my math it would realistically take longer: she would need a deposit plus a few months of buffer, and she won't hear back on her job applications until somewhere between December and February.

The plan also depends on three things all going right: she gets a job, her tenant works out, and her savings are enough. If any of them fail, our home is the fallback. S also tends to make big decisions very quickly and the details of her plans change a lot, so I didn't trust the timeline nor the robustness of her “plan”. She has other options (her dad lives in the country she wants to move to, though she doesn't want to live "in the woods"), and I've helped her financially several times before.

I just want my home back with me and my fiance. No more people. I messaged S directly about this and told her that I want to have my home back with my fiance, in a way that was clear and polite, explaining that it was affecting my relationship with her sister.

Now she is angry at me for going back on my word (it’s a matter of principle, she says). I honestly don’t care much that I did go back and I know she didn’t give me the full information and that’s why I said no, but I honestly do not wish to go tit for tat with her. She is also hung up on it being wrong that I did it over text “since we’re family” but honestly I felt so tired that I just wanted to send a text and forget. So I rescinded the offer and wished her good luck.

Honestly, I feel so gaslighted.

I lost my baby and after his passing, I purchased a cemetery plot for him with enough space for additional caskets. It’s an incredibly personal place to me.

My grandfather recently passed away and my family hadn’t made any burial arrangements. They asked if he could be buried next to my baby, and I agreed without hesitation.

However, my family has now told me that I’m not welcome at my grandfather’s funeral because my cousin will be attending. This cousin sexually abused me when I was a child and my family thinks having both of us there would make things too uncomfortable(they have always favorited him and excluded me even though I was a child and him an adult)

I’m honestly devastated. I feel like I’m being punished for something that was done to me, while the person who hurt me is allowed to attend.

Now I’m seriously considering telling my family that I’ve changed my mind about allowing my grandfather to be buried in my plot.

It’s not because I don’t love my grandfather. But this whole situation has made me realize that my cousin might eventually visit his grave, which means he would also be visiting the place where my baby is resting.

The thought of the person who abused me being anywhere near my baby’s resting place makes me sick. That is supposed to be my safe and peaceful place, and I don’t want him anywhere near it.

Part of me wants to tell my family they need to find somewhere else to bury my grandfather. But I also feel incredibly guilty because I already agreed, and I know changing my mind would make an already difficult situation worse.

I don’t know if I’m letting my emotions get the best of me or if I’m justified in feeling this way.

So, AITA for wanting to withdraw my permission, or am I overreacting because I’m hurt about being excluded from the funeral?

Hi. To give you some context, I, am the branch manager at the company I work for. A very good friend of mine, works in another branch, in a different country, for the same company. He is not part of management. Whilst at work, heading to my branch, he came in contact with a customer. With whom he flirted with for 3 and a half hours. He did not get the name of the customer. He then texted me to ask if it is possible for me to check the customer lists and seats, for that customer’s name. I immediately refused and told my friend that it is not possible, as this of course is a huge breach of personal data. He got upset. I am seriously considering reporting this. AITAH?

This is honestly so ridiculous that I can’t believe I’m even asking this, but here we go.

My mom just wanted to print out a HUGE portrait of me and my brother on a wall near the entrance. The problem? It was AI-generated.

She showed me the picture, and it was one of those painfully obvious AI pictures with the dramatic sunset lighting and that overly perfect, uncanny look. It didn’t even feel like a real picture of me.

I told her I didn’t want it hanging on the wall and asked her to please not put it up. I even suggested that if she wanted a big portrait of us, we could just take an actual picture of me and my brother instead.
I also explained that it would honestly be
embarrassing to have guests over with a massive, obviously AI-generated portrait of myself hanging right in the middle of the wall. I don’t have anything against AI in general and laughed along with her whenever she generated some weird pictures of us for fun, but I personally don’t want a giant, fake-looking version of myself displayed in my own home.

She immediately got defensive and started arguing with me. At some point, she literally told me that I AM the most embarrassing person she knows.
For context, this isn’t an isolated incident. Whenever there’s a disagreement with my mom, she has a tendency to turn it into a personal attack instead of actually discussing the issue. Throughout my childhood, I’ve been told that I’m weird, embarrassing, that I’ll amount to nothing, and all sorts of other things that have stuck with me.
So, after she said that, I snapped and told her that she’s sick in the head.

Obviously, I could have chosen my words better, but I’m honestly exhausted by how every little disagreement turns into an attack on my character.

We were literally arguing about a freaking AI portrait, and somehow it became another opportunity for her to insult me personally.

Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for insulting her back, especially considering that the whole thing started over something so stupid.
I feel like I should be allowed to say I don’t want a giant AI-generated portrait of myself hanging on the wall without being personally attacked for it.

So, AITAH?

moved in with a roommate from Facebook Marketplace in April. Over time, she became passive-aggressive, changing the Wi-Fi password, locking the thermostat, and making me uncomfortable using shared spaces.

I have ADHD and struggle with procrastination, so I know I haven’t always been consistent with chores, but I’ve made an effort to contribute. As she would do dishes and slam them aggressively or take my stuff out the dryer to put her clean dry clothes in it and would complain if I took it out while she was at work bc they’d get wrinkled

My new place was available on the 24th. I told her I’d aim to move then but might need more time. She expected me to be completely out and return the keys that day, but I assumed I had until the 31st. She also wanted to move her belongings into my room so she could clean hers, but wasn’t making much progress packing her own things. When I said I’d like to have until the 31st…She freaked out and said I wasn’t following her schedule. My room is empty except for I need finish cleaning.

My best friend thinks my roommate may be rushing me unnecessarily and suspects she might be staying in the apartment herself. She also thinks I may have been overcharged for rent, though I’m not sure.
AITA for not being fully moved out by the 24

I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for approximately nine months. We both work full-time, have careers, and are in a serious relationship. He currently lives with his parents, who have always been extremely involved in his life.

I’ve always believed that having a close relationship with your parents is a good thing. However, dating my boyfriend has made me question where the line is between being a loving, involved parent and refusing to accept that your child is an adult.

His mother frequently calls him to check where he is, what he’s doing, and when he’s coming home. If he’s out longer than expected, she wants to know why.
She also questions his decisions to spend money on dates with me. For example, if he mentions that we’re going out for dinner, she’ll question why he’s taking me out and express concern that he’s going to spend too much money on me.

For context, my boyfriend works full-time and earns his own money. I also work full-time and am financially independent. I’m not expecting him to bankroll my lifestyle, and we’re perfectly capable of making decisions about how we spend our money.

What I find particularly frustrating is the expectation that his parents should be informed about practically everything happening in his personal life.

I’m a relatively private person. I don’t believe being in a relationship means our parents are entitled to know every disagreement, decision, or personal detail between us.

His family seems to view that differently.

If my boyfriend chooses not to disclose something because he considers it private, his family can interpret that as dishonesty. To me, there’s an enormous difference between lying to someone and simply not volunteering information they’re not entitled to.

And when my boyfriend started establishing boundaries or expressing opinions his parents disagreed with, the assumption became that I must be manipulating him.

That’s probably what bothers me most.
He’s a 25 year-old man with his own thoughts, opinions, and values. Yet when those opinions don’t align with his family’s expectations, it seems easier for them to believe that his girlfriend is influencing him than to accept that he might genuinely disagree with them.

The irony is that my boyfriend is just as frustrated by these expectations as I am. He’s perfectly capable of speaking for himself, and he’s made it clear that he wants more independence.

His parents also believe that family should take precedence over romantic relationships unless there’s an engagement or marriage involved.

I find that perspective strange. I don’t think a relationship suddenly becomes worthy of respect because someone purchases a ring.

I understand that we’ve only been dating for nine months. His family, from what I’ve seen and heard, only begins to really take relationships seriously at the one-year mark. I also understand that he lives under his parents’ roof, and I absolutely believe he should respect reasonable household rules.

But I don’t believe living at home means surrendering your right to privacy, financial autonomy, or independent decision-making. Especially as it relates to our relationship.

And I don’t think parents should expect to remain the most important people in their adult children’s lives indefinitely.

If we eventually get married and have children, I would expect us to prioritize the family we’re building together. I wouldn’t expect either of us to organize our lives around keeping our parents happy.

Likewise, if I have children someday, I would hope they love me and want me involved in their lives, but I wouldn’t expect them to report their whereabouts, justify their spending, or share private details of their relationships once they’re adults.

I recognize that parents spend decades raising and supporting their children, and that watching those children become independent can be difficult.
But I don’t believe parenting creates a lifelong debt of obedience.

My boyfriend agrees with my perspective, but I’m starting to wonder whether my own expectations are unreasonable, especially given that he still lives at home.

This entire situation has been the source of on-going tension in our relationship, to the point my boyfriend has told me point-blank he would understand and support me choosing to leave if it ever came to that—simply because it has caused us such a huge degree of stress.

However, I love him and aside from his family he is the most amazing man I could’ve ever asked for, which is why this situation sucks as much as it does. We’ve had many talks and he has gotten better with asserting his boundaries, but it still can be very difficult at times.

Given all this…

AITAH for believing that his parents are confusing being close to their adult son with having authority over his personal life?

My friend, Kate and her boyfriend, Issac, have been together for about a year. I actually introduced them, and I’m friends with both of them.

This summer, I went to Issac’s mom’s pool with them. Almost a month later, Issac texted me saying my butt looked good that day. I’m engaged, and the message made me uncomfortable. He later told me he was drunk, didn’t mean anything by it, and thought it would be funny.

I told my fiancé, who said I should handle it however I felt was appropriate. I texted Issac and told him the comment made me uncomfortable. He apologized, and I thought that was the end of it. I had other things going on at the time, so I took a big step back from the friendship.

About a week later, Kate called me because Issac had deleted our texts and she wanted to know what happened. I told her everything. She said she was going to break up with him, but ultimately that never happened.

Now, Kate hasn’t said anything to me directly, but she’s told a mutual friend that I owe her an apology for not telling her sooner.

Here’s where I’m conflicted. Earlier this year, Kate drunkenly confessed to me that she was in love with her guy best friend. She later said she didn’t mean it and specifically asked me not to tell Issac, but I’m really regretting not telling him considering all of this.

I understand why she might be upset that I didn’t tell her about Issac’s message right away. However, I was uncomfortable with the comment and addressed it directly with him. I wasn’t trying to hide anything or protect Issac. I was UNCOMFORTABLE.

So, AITAH? Should I apologize to Kate for not telling her immediately, or was it reasonable to handle the situation directly with Issac? Do I tell Issac about Kate’s drunk confession?

I’m genuinely looking for outside perspectives because I’m not sure if I should keep these friendships. They’re clearly toxic

Edit -
Thanks for all the fast replies. I’m going to cut these people out. I look forward to being an adult after it’s all over
I’ll provide updates if there are any

I (21F) am currently in college, studying for my degree, and I have a partner (20F). We known each other for months and haven't even been together officially for a month yet.

Recently, we've had disagreements about priorities, particularly when it comes to my education, career, and future.

For context, I'm someone who likes planning ahead. I want to graduate, get a stable job, save money, travel, and eventually build a comfortable life for myself. I'm not expecting to become rich, but I don't want to spend my adult life constantly worrying about bills or struggling financially.

My partner and I have different perspectives on this. Sometimes, it feels like prioritizing my career is being treated as though I'm choosing my future over our relationship. I don't really understand this because, to me, building a career and becoming financially stable should ultimately benefit both of us if we're planning a future together.

I'm also concerned about our financial future. My partner doesn't currently have a job(nor does she have any skills or higher education than high school) I understand that everyone has their own circumstances and timeline, and I'm not expecting someone to have their entire life figured out at 20. However, I also have to think about whether our long-term goals and expectations are compatible.

I don't want to end up being the sole breadwinner or feeling like I have to sacrifice career opportunities to accommodate a relationship. I want a partner who has her own goals and is willing to build a future alongside me, even if we don't earn the same amount.

But we're still at the beginning of this relationship, and I don't think I should have to put my future plans on hold or feel guilty for prioritizing my education.

Am I being too focused on the future and not giving the relationship enough room to develop naturally?

This is a couple days old, I thought about it a bit more and am still torn on what to do.

Hi! It was my (19F) birthday today. My boyfriend (18M) and I have been together for nearly 3 months (long I know LOL) long distance. He’s come down to visit me this week, he came on the 23rd Oct and is here until the 3rd Nov. We’ve been having a few arguments while we hadn’t seen each other for about 3 weeks (the last time I saw him was at the start of October) over social media presence and whatnot. It has always been an issue for me in relationships. I hate it if my partner follows random women, likes their photos (especially provocative ones) whatever. Keyword here being random. If they’re friends I don’t care all that much.

So, these arguments always end in me not really feeling listened to. We’ve spoke about this multiple times, even before we got together, and every time I thought it was resolved. I would bring something of this nature up, and he’d apologise, tell me he wouldn’t do it anymore “for me” and say he understood, and then after a few days went right back to following random women/liking their posts again. I don’t even go looking for these things, it just shows up on my Instagram feed that he’s liked a certain post. Around the 4th time, he got really angry with me over text because he’s had issues with cheating allegations in the past. I even explicitly told him in my message where I “confronted him” which I took time to myself after I saw it and worded it as gently as possible, that I wasn’t accusing him of anything, simply that it made me incredibly uncomfortable as I had told him before. His next few messages were all just him being angry and pissy with me and giving me reasons as to why he’s not cheating.

Now, today is my birthday. My boyfriend, my friends and I all went out for a few drinks. My boyfriend doesn’t know my friends all too well and has only met them once. Within the first 45 minutes he downs about 4 double rum and cokes and I kept telling him to slow down and he just kept saying he was fine and didn’t listen to me. He then decides to use his THC pen FAR too much as of what I’ve been told by my friends, as I wasn’t outside at this point. This was over the time span of about an hour and a half/2 hours. He then tells me he’s going to the toilet. He sits in there for 45 minutes not answering me so my friends go to check on him multiple times asking him to come out because I’m upset, and he still doesn’t. When he eventually does he passes out on the table and one of my friends makes him chug a glass of water and sugar. A couple minutes later he throws it all up and we are removed from the pub and go home. He slept downstairs, I stayed with him for about 20 minutes as he kept throwing up and apologising and asking me not to be mad at him.

At about 3:30 he came up to my room and was trying to act normal and asked if he could spoon me and I said no. He then went back downstairs.

We then spoke in the morning and I told him something really needs to change. (We have been okay for the past couple days since I started writing this post) he agreed and said he doesn’t want us to just give up and wants to work on it.

I’m just feeling very torn. At the end of the day I do really like him but it’s just like this is embedded in my head now. I felt like I had to babysit him for the entirety of my birthday evening and that he doesn’t seem to understand why I’m upset about it because when I spoke to him the next morning he asked why I was so mad.

So, AITAH for thinking this??

​

hii, i 14F parents have been separated for years, and I currently live with my mom. Recently, they've had a disagreement because my dad occasionally wants to stay at my mom's house when he's in town driving trucks. My mom doesn't want him sleeping on her couch because he's not the cleanest person, and she doesn't want him staying in her home. However, she never said he couldn't visit altogether.

My dad apparently interpreted this as her not wanting him to visit anymore. He texted me saying he wasn't going to visit anymore because my mom was mad at him and he didn't have the energy to deal with it.

I asked my mom about this, and she explained that she wasn't mad at him. She simply didn't want him sleeping on her couch. Those are two different things, but apparently my dad took it differently and decided he didn't want to visit anymore.

Now, here's where the actual problem starts.

My dad knows I'm transitioning from online school to in-person high school. He said he was happy about it because it would help us work on our communication skills. I told him I was already good at communicating, and he replied with "Yeah, right 😂."

That genuinely annoyed me because he isn't around enough to know how I communicate with other people, especially when it comes to expressing my feelings. We don't have a particularly close relationship, and he isn't very involved in my everyday life, so I didn't appreciate him making that assumption. I left him on read because I was irritated.

Fast-forward to today. My mom told me to let my dad know that she'd texted him. I texted him, "Hey, my mom said she texted you."

He replied, "Whatever she wants to tell me, she can tell you."

I responded by asking why I had to relay the message when he could simply open her text and read it himself.

About an hour later, he replied something along the lines of, "I'm sure she'll tell you whatever she wants to tell me. If not, then 🤷‍♂️."

At this point, I'm honestly irritated.

First, you make a comment implying that I'm bad at communicating, but now you're expecting me to communicate on your behalf because you don't want to open a message from my mom? How does that make sense?

Second, my mom is literally trying to communicate with you directly. Instead of reading her message and responding to her like an adult, you're trying to involve me in the situation.

I'm 14. You're 45. Why am I being put in the middle of a disagreement between two grown adults who are perfectly capable of communicating with each other?

I understand that my dad might not want to deal with my mom if he thinks she's upset with him. That's his decision. But I don't think that gives him a reason to use me as a messenger, especially when my mom has already contacted him directly.

I'm not interested in relaying whatever she wants to say, finding out what she wants to tell him, or carrying messages back and forth. They are both my parents, and I don't want to be caught in the middle of their disagreements.

What frustrates me even more is the hypocrisy. He makes a sarcastic comment about my communication skills, yet he's the one refusing to engage in a direct conversation and expecting me to do it for him.

I also feel like his ego plays a part in situations like this, although I obviously can't know exactly what he's thinking.

I believe my mom should be able to communicate her own message to him, and he should be able to respond to her directly if he wants to. I'm not responsible for managing their relationship.

So, AITA for refusing to relay the message, or am I being unreasonable?

So my fiance(26m) and I (27f) have been discussing this for a while and we are hitting a bit of a wall. So his sister is getting married this coming week and we are unable to attend as we are overseas and it would cost us about 6k to attend and two 20 hr flights that I don't think I'd be able to do in such a short amount of time.

There has already been drama around this as her sister has been going around telling people that we didn't try enough and it ended with a conversation with his mom and her telling us and I quote "well y'all could've tried a bit harder" in which he hung up and I physically walked out of the room as I was about to blow up.

So, I've already made it clear to my fiance that I do not like his sister due to this event as well as some past events that happened. Part of the reason I don't want to send her money is because I genuinely believe she will complain about it and it will end with his parents bitching at him because of it. She did it when we gave her money for holidays and various other events. And I told my fiance that if she is going to be ungrateful I have no interest in giving her money. I'm not expecting to be praised with thank yous but I don't think it's a lot to ask for someone to just say thank you and move on.

My fiance says this may be taking it too far and he just wants to avoid his parents nagging at him about it but of course I mentioned they may call and nag anyways if she complains about how much money we gave her and if they are doing that anyways I would rather be a free hundred dollars richer.

Wibtah if we went though with just not sending her money?

Edit: just so I could clear things up as I do realize I probably left out a lot. We have a joint account as well as separate accounts. I have very much told him that he could send money from his separate account, just not from the joint. But I also have told him that I don't want to hear him complain when his parents call him telling him that he didn't send enough money because I almost guarantee you that call is going to come and that completely ruins the whole reason he sent the money. He also doesn't want to send money. So the main issue here is he is only doing it to avoid conflict but I think the conflict will still be there regardless. So for anyone saying I'm trying prevent or stop him, I'm not.

Hello all, this has happened today and i don’t know if im being an asshole or not. I (F22) have my nieces and nephew visiting for the week and i noticed that my niece (F10) has my old phone (iphone 11). I am aware that this phone has gone down a lot in value over the past few years, but i was moreso keeping it as a backup in case anything happens to my phone, which I feel is valid considering it was £500 on contract at the time and i paid it all off myself. Now my niece’s mum (my sister, F30), is incredibly ADHD and is constantly losing and breaking things. I challenged my mum (F50) about giving her my old phone and i’ve been told the reason was because my sister spilt a cup of coffee over my neice’s old phone last week or so. My main frustration here is that neither my sister or my mum asked me if she could have it, in fact they made the active choice not to ask me because ‘they knew i would say no.’

I am annoyed because i take such good care of my things and i kept that phone in a very good condition so i can use it in the future if i need to, and i know that within a month or so it will now probably be broken. I find it rude that they gave it away without asking me knowing i paid for it.

I don’t know if it makes me selfish for being so frustrated about this and my mum keeps saying that i should help my family out, but they didn’t even ask me or give me the opportunity to make the decision myself, and my sister didn’t offer anything in return whatsoever. I have since called her and asked for some money in return, but she hung up and called my mum and i have not heard back about it yet.

I don’t know guys, AITAH?

I am 18M and have just finished school. I work two jobs: Bunnings (basically the Australian version of Home Depot) 3-4 times a week & with an Electrician once a week.The electrician job was part of my schooling; I'd go three days a week to school, then one day to TAFE (Trade School) and one day with the Electrician. There is a possibility that this will lead into an apprenticeship but my parents don’t seem to care too much about that job comparatively.

The problem is that the steel processing plant advertised an apprenticeship recently. Many people that my parents know work/ have worked there. The applications have just finished last week and my parents are still annoyed that I didn’t apply.

I didn’t want to apply because in the past when I have applied for jobs my mum always ends up doing most of the application. I write a draft and she proofreads it. But she always gets frustrated at how I have written things, takes over because she thinks she is more experienced and ends up doing most of the application. I don’t want to do this again.

Also I want to do something on my own in the next few months, like travelling alone. If I committed to an apprenticeship it would be hard to find the time to do this as it does go over the full work week. Additionally I would have to drop my current jobs that I do enjoy.

I’m not against the idea of doing a trade, especially as I have experience with the electrician and there is still hope that that job could become something. However, I don’t want to jump into something because my parents think it’s the best idea. I have other things I want to do. My parents seem to think that by not applying I have missed a great opportunity. Whereas I think I just want to have some control over my decisions.

so, AITAH?

I (21M) have been close friends with Peggy (20F) for about three years now. We have two other friends Angelica (23F) and Eliza (22F), who Peggy is currently roommates with. We have all known each other since freshman year of college and have been in the same core and extended friend group for a while now. Recently the relationship with the three of them has taken an unfortunate turn due to some poor decisions that were made.

Eliza and I have been hooking up since freshman year. Before we started seeing each other. I made it clear to her that our relationship would be that of a FWB, in which she agreed. And in exchange she asked me to not tell our friends about our relationship, to which I agreed. We continued this relationship for about three years and all seemed well until recently. 

A year ago at some point I came to the realization that I have romantic feelings for Angelica. Even though I had developed these feelings I did not act upon them at all. While Eliza had already shown signs of jealousy towards other women I involved myself with, it was painfully apparent she felt some type of way when Angelica and I would interact. I guess you could say she had a sense I liked Angelica before I even did. It had gotten to the point where other people around us had started to notice and began asking questions.

For clarification Eliza would regularly badmouth me to Peggy and Angelica. She would talk poorly about Angelica to me while we would hangout, and would cause constant miscommunication between the two of them and I. At one point there was an incident where Angelica called me very drunk and alone late at night on the street while Eliza and I were together. Naturally I dropped what we were doing and went to help her, but as I did Eliza had a major attitude shift and was clearly bothered by this. This confused me because instead of coming with or being  concerned for our friend she threatened to leave and go home for the night.

So on Valentine’s Day me, Peggy, and a group of friends decided to go out to some parties. On our way back from the function I drunkenly decided to tell Peggy about my situation with Eliza and accidentally mentioned my feelings for Angelica. I thought it was only a matter of time until she found out and wanted to tell her on my own terms. Lets just say that Peggy was not very happy for the next 48 hours, she screamed and cussed me out the whole way back. Later that night she decided to confront Eliza about our relationship, Eliza called me infuriated that I would tell Peggy about our "secret” relationship. I say “secret” as at this point in time almost everyone had some idea of what was going on, but refused to say anything.

The next day Eliza decided to tell Angelica about my feelings towards her and that Eliza and I had been hooking up. Angelica was very upset when she received the news and proceeded to send me a very angry and hurtful text message and blocked/removed me on different platforms.
Peggy told me the details of the conversation the three of them had that day, lets just say that Eliza lied and painted our relationship in a worse light then what it was. Neither Peggy nor Angelica believed her as Eliza had been lying to the two of them for three years, but Angelica was still upset with me.

I later had two separate conversations with Eliza and Angelica. My conversation with Eliza went along the lines of her refusing to answer my questions and denying any accusations against her. While my conversation with Angelica was a bit more productive, she said she did not hate me and was not mad at me, but she could not be friends with people who she has had feelings for and vice versa. 

Since then I have not had a proper conversation with either Angelica or Eliza, but I do talk to Peggy on the daily. Peggy and Eliza are not currently on talking terms as Eliza refuses to apologize for lying and blaming Peggy for what happened. Angelica and Eliza hate each other, but are pretending that everything is ok so as to keep the peace while they live together. This has unfortunately strained the friend groups dynamic as neither one of them wish to be in the same room as me, but continue to drunk text and call me every now and then. 

So AITAH for any of this, be honest please.

Edits: After reading some of the comments I wanted to clarify a couple things.

1. I suggested and wanted her to tell the friends she was closer to about our relationship from the beginning, as we had agreed that I was allowed to tell my friends/roommates about our situation. I did not want to keep this a secret from the group in the beginning.
2. Eliza had repeatedly denied having any romantic feelings for me throughout the three years and stated she was perfectly okay with how things were. So I felt no need to question her any further.
3. Concerning the badmouthing and lying Eliza had done I was not aware of it while seeing her at the time and was only recently informed of this by Peggy and Angelica after everything had gone down.

I (24f) recently reconnected with a friend (25f) from early high school. We grew up together and were practically like sisters until she moved away freshman year, and we just slowly drifted apart. No fights, no drama, just simply grew into other friends and were physically apart. We followed each other on socials and one day I decided to reach out because I genuinely missed our friendship and wanted to reconnect. Everything was great….

When we reconnected we were talking about how busy our lives have been as adults and all the things. When she first saw me, she was complementing my car my apartment the things that I have which I didn’t see as a bad thing at the time I thought it was just a friend complementing another friend, but we’ll get into that later. I told her about my boyfriend and how we’re planning to move in together and how I started a new job and how much craziness comes with it because that was the topic of conversation. We haven’t seen each other in like 8 years. We bonded over how hard it was to find genuine friends at our age that can understand what it means to be busy and not partying and drinking all the time and so on. We had a text cadence of responding every day to every other day and we would sync schedules to hangout.

Things seemed fine until about last month. Before I went on back to back business trips while moving we went out for lunch. I felt like the vibes were kind of off every time I mentioned my boyfriend and I’s relationship or how good work was going. I know work and relationships in her life was rocky but she asked about mine and I thought I can be honest with her that I was genuinely happy and felt fulfilled in my life. After that day, we texted for 2 days and she hasn’t responded to me since but she posts all the time on IG that she’s out drinking, partying, clubbing and everything with the same girls that she was telling me did her wrong. (Left out some details for the sake of the amount of reading)

I took it personally because I wondered if I had said or did something wrong when we had lunch but my bf and I were talking about it and he feels that even if I didn’t do anything wrong directly, she may feel that I’m rubbing my good life in her face. And although I can understand that, I’m just still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

When I came back from my trip last week, I sent her a text asking how she’s doing and would love to chat over dinner before my next trip if she’s free and I had a feeling she may be going through something and that’s why she’s distant. She never responded and left me on read. After not hearing from her, I decided to Unfollow her and remove her as a friend because I kept seeing post of her going out with other people, she’d view my stories, doing the exact things that she complained other people do and completely ignored me.

I told one of my other friends about the situation and she told me last night that the girl posted a story that was pretty much about the fact that “someone” (me) unfollowed and removed her as a follower and how “bitches are petty af”. So AITAH for removing her and reading too much into it?

My friend dated a guy for about three months. During that time, she told me he grabbed and pulled her around, took her phone so she couldn’t text anyone, and tried to keep her away from friends and family. She also described sexual abuse, including him forcing her to have sex, calling his friends during sex, making her answer calls from her mom during sex, and telling her, “Don’t say no to me. You’ll like it anyway.”
I live over an hour away at a different college, so I haven’t personally witnessed most of this. What I know comes from what she has told me, photos she has shown me, and accounts from other friends. I have photos of bruises she said he caused by grabbing her. I’ve also been told he slapped her across the face in public, then claimed it was sexual, and nobody intervened.
She finally broke up with him after he tried to stop her from visiting me. Before they broke up, he also brought up proposing—even though they had only been together for three months. When she said she wasn’t ready, he told her, “I know. I’m just telling you so you can get ready.” They’ve now been broken up for about four months, and apparently he’s looking at rings again, even though they are not together.
Despite everything, she says she’s still in love with him. She talks to him daily, spends time with him, and goes to his house alone. She has also told me she’s tempted to sleep with him again.
I’m struggling to reconcile that with the conversations we’ve had. She came to me saying she had lived through her worst fear, how horrible it was, and how she never wanted to be in a relationship like that. Then, the following week, she was spending time with him again. I don’t doubt that what she told me happened. I just feel frightened and helpless because I don’t understand how to support her through this.
I’m also frustrated with how the people around her handle it. As far as I know, most of her friends are still friendly with him. One friend tried to confront him, but my friend stopped her because she “didn’t want drama.” It’s hard to hear this described as drama when I’m worried about her being assaulted again.
She says she still sees him because they go to the same bar, but I believe he goes there because he knows she’ll be there. Once, when I went with her, he showed up after finding out she was coming. When he saw me, he kept his distance. He knows I hate him and am willing to confront him. Another time, he got agitated while she was talking to another guy, and that guy said, “At least I don’t beat women.” Her ex backed off for the rest of the night.
Those incidents leave me wishing people wouldn’t act like his behavior is acceptable. But I also don’t know what would actually keep her safe beyond those individual moments. He’s around 6’6” and muscular, and she’s about 5’3” and much smaller, which adds to my fear.
I’m genuinely terrified that he could seriously hurt or kill her. Underneath my anger is the feeling that I’m watching someone I love remain close to a person who has already hurt her, and I can’t stop it.
My boyfriend says I should stop trying to make her cut him off and just be there for her if things get bad again. Part of me understands that I can’t make her decisions for her. Another part wants to distance myself because the fear, frustration, and repeated conversations are taking a toll on me.
How can I support her without feeling responsible for preventing whatever he does next? What boundaries are reasonable here? Is there a way to take some distance for my own well-being without making her feel abandoned?

EDIT: I have also been documenting everything and my family personally knows police in her area, would it be wrong of me to take legal action? she doesn’t want to so idk if I even could

EDIT 2: I think I already mentioned that she broke up with him because he wouldn’t let her see me, but she doesn’t play about me. She broke up with another ex for shit talking me and has him blocked for what he did to me (just verbal bullying nothing physical) so part of me believes if I cut her off over this she’ll leave him.

TLDR this is going to be a long read Hi I’m i’m not the best at explaining stuff like this so I’m gonna type out what was said between me and my friend who is the Dm for our dnd campaign. I am Me/R the dm/my friend is J and the other letters are just friends that are either watching the campaign or playing the campaign

J: Hey were about start soon are you able to come?

Me: Yeah, I’m able to come

J: Ight bet!

Me: Just let me know when you’re starting. I’m just taking medicine for my throat

J: Were about to start now

Me: Oh ok give me 50 seconds

J: Are you not able to speak at all?

Me: Yeah, it’s really bad. I didn’t think this would happen to my voice. I’ll see if I’ll be able to talk next time

We were a little bit into the session

Me: Hey, something kind of popped up and I might need to go cause it might be an family emergency so maybe in the next 10 minutes I might have to leave

Me: OK after my turn, I need to go cause it is a family emergency.

Me: J, I gotta go I’m so sorry

A few hours after they finished

J: Hey R I can kinda feel you being a bit nervous during everything and I know you still want to be like present during the campaign. How does becoming a spectator sound like T is?

Me: Oh, it’s not that I was nervous that much. It’s just I kind of couldn’t talk or really say anything I wanted to say. I was kinda iffy at first, but then I started to get OK. I’m better a bit.

J: Alright yes we can talk about this later

A few days later

Me: Hey sorry about the last time we talked all I’m gonna say is nephew is in hospital and I wasn’t doing too hot so sorry about how I was acting

J: But that’s not the issue that we have rn. The issue that we have is that you were untruthful to me and that deeply hurt me. And for that I am going to have to have you be a spectator for the time being. This isn’t something that’s permanent, but I need for that trust to be built back up again.

A day later

Me: What are you talking about saying I’ve been untruthful I wish I could’ve talked, but I don’t wanna damage my voice anymore

J: Ok well for starters this right here, you say you wasn't nervous. But at the same time you say you couldn't talk/say anything. And then went on to say that you was iffy but was getting better. That kinda tells me that you was nervous. Next it was the first time you back tracked. When you said you strained your voice when you texted. Now it you ruptured your voice? Two totally different things ngl. Then the second time you back tracked when you said you strained it a few days ago. Then later on you said you strained the night before we was going to start. Not to mention everything happening very last minute.

Me: Not being able to speak, doesn’t make me automatically nervous. yes there are people there that I don’t know. I’m also doing a lot of get out of my comfort zone i’m literally becoming an extrovert and also helping people forcing myself to use my voice more

I use words strain and rupture all the time I usually mean them as the same thing do I know the difference no, but I know that was not able to speak without it hurting

And my fault things have a last minute I wish I could control certain things that happened, but sometimes I can’t for example I can’t control if my nephew got hurt was sent to the hospital. I didn’t know screaming that much would rapture/strain my voice that badly. i’m also doing a lot of projects for people and personal projects at the same time so I’m sorry that some of the stuff is not going as planned every single time.

J: Ok well if you was taking on all of these projects and knew that you were straining/rupturing your voice why didn't you say something earlier? Why wait to the last minute to say anything? You knew weeks in advance that we was going to have this. And despite knowing this you decide to hold it off 1 hour before we start? If you had said anything I would have worked around it. But you said nothing making me think everything was fine when it wasn't.
In the end I am serious when I say this, you have been untruthful I gave you my reason why I think that. Again you are more than welcome to spectate but I'm not letting you be a player until I can trust you again. And that's by being truthful with me and valuing my time.

Me: Because I have the memory of a goldfish J and some things I just forget about and forget to tell people if I don’t talk to people for a while. I tend to forget they even exist sometimes. Like I sometimes forgot that you and M exist cause I haven’t talked to y’all in a while. Hell I forgot that the DND thing was that Saturday. Even F and E forgot. I’ve also been figuring out a super important life shit. that I just don’t talk about. Also, if I’ve known that I had symptoms of that stuff happened to my throat it doesn’t mean I know how serious or bad it’s gonna be I just thought my voice was gonna be a little raspy(I also didn’t know that the campaign was starting that day, cause I forgot). If you don’t believe me then ask someone who’s been through my mind and knows that I forget a lot of shit. J no offense, but you just went on a touchy subject for me because I hate that I forget things, but I’ve been trying ever since I could remember and I’m slowly getting better at it and it’s something that I hate talking about to people who don’t know what’s going in my mind. The only reason i’m still going on about this it’s because that if I didn’t say anything I would feel like I’m getting punched into a corner, forcing myself to say sorry to things I can’t control. So sorry if I’m a bit irritated rn.

J: I'm going to say this one more time, I know your being untruthful and again I gave my reason why i think that. I'm not saying your gone. I'm saying can watch until you build up that trust again.

Me: Look I know as a dm things that change last minute are stressful and it’s hard to make adjustments but we both need to know we’re playing a game to have fun and some life just happens and we both need to clear our heads and realize where we’re both coming from

J: I’m not going to say it again I made my decision and I’m not changing it until you gain my trust and I know you value time. Now we can talk and anything else but I am not going to repeat myself on this topic anymore.

Am I the asshole?

Hi everyone, I have a cousin who is literally like my twin brother. We're EXTREMELY close, to the point where people actually think we're siblings. We're always the first to know about each other's plans, especially birthdays, and we've never had anyone come between us. I also have a boyfriend of 5-6 years who is good friends with my cousin.

Around 4 years ago, my boyfriend and I broke up for about a year. During that time, a girl (let's call her Suzie) developed feelings for him. They went to homecoming together, but he made it clear they were ONLY friends because he still had feelings for me. Apparently, she didn't take that well because she's seemed to have a grudge against me ever since, even though I had never met her.

Fast forward 2 years, we're at prom with our own dates, and I kept catching her giving me nasty side eyes. I brushed it off because I didn't even know her personally.

Another 2 years later, present time, I see her at a college party and smile and wave at her TWICE, only to be completely ignored both times. At that point, I figured she still had some issue with me, but I didn't care enough to confront her.

A week later, my cousin FaceTimes me asking about the supposed "beef" between us. I told him there was no beef on my end, and if she had an issue with me, I genuinely didn't know why. Since they go to the same college, he spoke to her and explained that he couldn't be friends with someone who hated me because of how close we are. She denied having any issue with me, and he believed her. I didn't, but I let it go.

Now here's where the actual issue starts.

A month later, I receive an invitation to my cousin's birthday party, only TWO weeks before it's happening. I noticed everyone else had received theirs over a month earlier, which was weird considering we're ALWAYS the first people invited to each other's birthdays.

When I casually asked why, he told me he'd gotten really close with Suzie and had to ASK HER PERMISSION before inviting me.

I was confused until I found out she was hosting his birthday at her house. That made more sense, but I still found it weird that my own cousin had to basically get approval to invite me to HIS birthday.

What really bothered me was when he admitted he couldn't invite me earlier because my presence could've caused the ENTIRE party to be canceled. Mind you, I've never once said I had an issue with this girl.

He was actively telling everyone to save the date over a month ago, including friends he met THROUGH ME, while I wasn't even told about it.

I tried explaining why this hurt me, but he keeps shutting down the conversation. My best friends and roommates think I shouldn't even go because they see it as him prioritizing a girl he recently became close with less than a month ago, over someone who's practically his sister.

I understand it's her house, but I can't help feeling disrespected that I was treated like an optional guest at my own cousin's birthday.

Am I overreacting for feeling this way, and would I be wrong for not going?

My fiancé’s best friend’s mom moved into a spare bedroom in his(my fiancé’s) home about 6 months ago. I moved in 4 months ago. She is 75. When she moved in every party knew it would be temporary until she could find a new home since she had to quickly evacuate the previous place she was in. Temporary meaning a couple months (that’s what I was told she told him).

Things have not gone well despite my best efforts to be friendly. It kind of comes down to a matter of respect. She’s done things to repeatedly push my boundaries like rearranging my plants and deck furniture and feeding my pet when not asked. She stays up in her room (which is right across from mine and my fiancé’s) all day watching shows. She shares a bathroom with us. When I cook she has repeatedly complained about the smell that goes into her room. When I first moved in I guess she was in the habit of going into my fiancé’s room without asking to give water to the dog or whatever and she did that when I was cooking to air it out or whatever, I got upset told my fiancé and tensions have been high ever since.

To me, if I was in her position I would be showing more humility yet she acts like the place is hers, when she’s simply renting a room. We came back from a two week trip recently and she had moved all the rugs to a different place, put my flowers in a different position in the garden.

I told my fiancé about a month ago that she has two months to find a new place. I then brought it up to him again that he needs to push her and let her know an exact date of when she needs to be out.

I’m gonna be so honest, I don’t like her. I don’t like this woman in my house pushing these boundaries, acting cold toward me when I make it clear I don’t like her presence in my home. To me, she’s overstayed her welcome. As a 75 year old woman in a house with two almost-newly weds (we are both under 40) it feels beyond weird and I’m getting more furious by the day.

AITAH in this situation? Part of me wonders if I am because I’m not being more accommodating, but part of me is honestly flabbergasted that anyone would willingly put themselves in this situation when we have made it abundantly clear that her time is up.

My fiancé is 100% on my side however he does like the extra income which may be adding to a little bit of the tension energetically maybe she feels like she can stay because he partially wants her to stay just for the money. But even then that is just so wild.

Idk.