Basically I want to know how important it is for you and your spouse to be a parent(s), to have your own children. Or have child(ren) to carry on your genes, or whatever reason why you want to have children. I want to hear from you, how important is has children for you.

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I'm long term married, 17 years he gives me his absolute fidelity faithful to me, treats me really really well, dotes on me in bed and outside of bed, he is an awesome husband.

7 years ago our toddler (child of me and him) died of brain disease, genetic gene defects inherit from me, my side the mother side. This did not tear our marriage, instead bond us even more, he still ridiculously dotes on me. Basically he tied himself to the ugly wife me and a dead toddler.

He is an Executive (C-suit level) at a big engineering corporate with a salary of 1 million a year, if count bonuses he makes more than that. With that high salary he can get any woman he wants, there people who can get free sex on Tinder, let alone an Executive with 1 million salary.

He can get a younger beautiful woman, and whom can give him alot of children. But he has been adamant refused as our toddler has died 7 years already, he had 7 years to reconsider this marriage, but he over and over to stay.

In his eyes, me and our toddler are irreplaceable (he says so), no new woman can replace me or the intimate 17 years history of us together. Just like no new child from a new woman can replace our dead toddler.

He said if he can't have a child with me then he rather not have any. Him being the only son in the family, or carry on his genes are moot to him. He is fine with being childless in exchange of grow old me the woman he loves.

But the Chinese culture me keep blame myself for the dead of our toddler as the gene defects came from me the mother side. Never once my husband blame me, he said I already give him a family, our toddler dead or alive will always be our toddler.

17 years (that his almost 2 decades) he gives his life to me, since he was 25 to now 41, he basically devoted his adulthood to me.

I just can't wrap my head around an C-suit Executive with 1 million a year salary, whom can divorce a childless wife easily, but he just not want to. And for a man, age 41 he can start over with another woman easy with that high salary career.

We have no kids, so it not like he has to stay married to me for the kids. It not like has to pay for child support, it not hard to divorce a wife when there no kids involve.! But he not wants.

I just can't wrap my head around it, I'm just a piece of pork fat (that how I see myself), he has alot of other options out there, why torture himself like this love a piece of pork fat me.

I feel I'm not good enough for him. And all my life I just want an ordinary man with an ordinary career. I do not like to be married to an Executive, I hate it tbh. I wish he was just an ordinary Chinese man and we living in the countryside back China. But he not Chinese, we live in U.S, and I HATE living in the city.

And his salary has to do with everything, if he were poor or just has an ordinary job then I wouldn't feel this much low self esteem, and self sabotage. I hate his Executive career, period. But I know I cannot change that, I'm his wife, I don't own him, I cannot dictate his career.

I'm combining another three days into one post. Lately, I've been struggling to maintain my routine, and it feels like several areas of my life are becoming difficult to manage at the same time.

I'm trying to stay hopeful, but honestly, I'm finding it hard.

The Last Three Days

I haven't gone for morning runs or swimming during these days. I did manage to work out on Day 63, but overall, my physical routine has been inconsistent.

I've also stopped posting content regularly for my personal brand. Most days, I've been procrastinating, feeling lazy, and putting things off instead of following through on the plans I made.

My compulsive habits haven't improved much either. I've talked about wanting to change them several times, but I still haven't made the consistent progress I hoped for.

It's frustrating to keep recognising the same problems without seeing enough change in my behaviour.

My First Interview

Yesterday, on Day 64, I attended my first interview.

I feel like I could have performed better, but it's done now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for a positive response.

I also received information about another interview being scheduled, although I haven't received the confirmation email yet. Hopefully, that comes through soon.

Regardless of the outcome, I'm glad that I'm getting interview opportunities. I've been looking for a job, and this is a step forward.

At the same time, it made me realise how much more preparation I need. I want to improve my technical knowledge, communicate my experience more confidently, and be better prepared for the next opportunity.

I can't change how I performed in the interview yesterday, but I can use the experience to prepare better for the next one.

I Need to Get Back to Studying

One of my biggest priorities right now is completing my institutional exams and earning my course certificate.

The problem is that I haven't studied consistently for a long time. Now, even sitting down and concentrating on a topic feels difficult.

I know I need to study, but getting started and staying focused have become challenges of their own.

Still, I can't keep waiting until I feel motivated or until my concentration magically improves. I need to start with manageable study sessions and gradually rebuild the habit.

Completing my exams and finishing the course are important steps for me, and I don't want to keep postponing them.

Financial Pressure and Comparison

Another thing that's been weighing on me is my financial situation.

I managed to save some money this week, but I had to combine those savings with money borrowed to pay the interest on a loan. So, even though I made an effort to save, it doesn't feel like I'm getting ahead.

It's difficult to feel financially secure when you're trying to manage expenses, debt, and the uncertainty of finding a better job.

Sometimes, I look at my friends and other people around me and see them moving forward in their lives. Meanwhile, I feel like I'm struggling just to maintain my current position.

I know comparing my progress with everyone else's isn't helpful, but it's difficult not to do it sometimes.

When several things go wrong at once, it's easy to start feeling as though nothing is working out.

Right now, I'm dealing with career uncertainty, financial pressure, unfinished exams, inconsistent routines, and habits I haven't been able to change. It's a lot to carry, and I won't pretend that I'm feeling positive about everything.

What I Need to Do Now

I can't solve every problem immediately, but I need to stop letting everything overwhelm me to the point where I avoid doing anything.

For now, I want to focus on a few priorities:

• Career: Prepare properly for upcoming interviews and continue applying for suitable jobs.
• Studies: Start studying consistently again and work towards completing my remaining exams.
• Finances: Understand my current obligations and make careful decisions instead of relying on borrowed money to manage recurring expenses.
• Health: Return to physical activity gradually and avoid aggravating my leg injury.
• Personal habits: Continue working on reducing compulsive behaviours and reclaiming the time and attention they consume.
• Personal brand: Resume posting content instead of abandoning it whenever my routine slips.

I don't expect to fix all six areas at once. I need to take them one at a time and make measurable progress.

My Takeaway

I'm disappointed that I'm not where I hoped I would be by this point in the challenge. I thought I would have developed more discipline and built a stronger routine by now.

But I also know that feeling disappointed in myself won't automatically change anything.

I need to take responsibility for my decisions without treating every setback as proof that I'm incapable of improving.

My first interview is one step forward. The savings I managed to make, even though they were offset by financial obligations, show that I'm still trying. And the fact that I can identify the areas where I'm struggling gives me a starting point for making changes.

These things don't solve my problems, but they remind me that my situation isn't necessarily fixed.

Day 62–64/90 complete.

I have 26 days left in this challenge.

I don't know how everything will turn out. I hope the interview goes well, I hope another opportunity comes through, and I want to finish my course and improve my financial situation.

But I need to do more than hope.

For the remaining days, I want to focus on taking small, consistent actions even when I'm struggling, instead of waiting for life to get easier before I start moving forward.

I'm not where I want to be yet. I just need to keep working towards getting there.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (26F) were together for about a year and a half. We were planning to get engaged, he’d bought a ring, and we’d talked extensively about marriage and children. He was my best friend.

I struggled with anxiety and what I’m now learning is severe pre-menstrual dysphoria (a mood disorder) and relationship OCD. I questioned his intentions and struggled to trust him, even though I loved him deeply. We had a few particularly difficult conflicts. In one of them, I accused him of planning to cheat based on something I found, and went to his place to confront him. I later found out it really hurt him.

We started couples therapy in July after that difficult fight, but I eventually canceled our planned engagement trip amid financial concerns (he had a lot of debt he hadn’t told me about) and mounting relationship stress a few weeks ago. I said some not nice things during that period of time, like assuming part of why he wanted to live with me was to benefit financially off my income, and that he wanted someone to provide for him. I’m honestly not proud of how I worded those doubts.

He became increasingly distant after that, despite telling me he wanted to reconcile. Then he broke up with me over the phone after a night out drinking with friends, just as I was beginning treatment. He said he’d been privately unhappy and lacking in confidence for a few months now in our relationship, and with the canceled trip and work stress, he just couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried explaining my diagnosis and the patterns I was uncovering through recent treatment/therapy, but by that point I don’t think he cared.

I’m devastated and physically feel sick with grief. I can’t imagine loving or wanting anyone else, and I’m consumed by guilt over how differently things might have gone if I’d gotten help sooner.

Has anyone experienced losing a relationship because of untreated mental health issues? How did you cope with the guilt and the possibility that things could have been different, and outside of obvious things like medication, how do you make sure it never happens again?

I will take any advice or tips I can get—thank you in advance.

Just as the title said, I stopped gaming a month ago. It was part of a big experiment where I took a break from a lot of things that I used to do, mostly to see the consequences and to focus more on studies.

I feel like I have more free time and I'm not that tired (though that is a screen thing not a gaming one), but I don't feel different overall. I still need I think to take a break from Reddit to actually see results.

Anyhow, I recently started daydreaming back about specific games and really getting an itchy to go back to play them. Problem is I don't really know if Gaming is healthy for me and I'm afraid I'll go back to being distracted from studies

Any help ?

Im 21M I just feel so demotivated and I starting to do stuff like get back into the gym but it’s just so hard to go stuff I feel like I’m just so lonely I also want to stop scrolling but I just feel like I need too. I want someone with me because all of my friends have gfs so they obviously don’t have time to do stuff which I’m not saying that’s bad I’m really happy for them but it also leaves me alone. I’m not bad looking or super weird I feel like I can get one but no clue where to look. I don’t want to ask my friends to put me on I feel like that’s kind of weird. I’ve been doing the I need to lock in right I need to focus on me for too long at this point I’ve been saying that type of thing since high-school. I don’t know if I should still focus on my self or just put my self out there.

Sorry if this post is all over the place

I don’t know if I’m wrong: (I will try my best to explain because my head feels full and i can’t concentrate on writing)

I have a friend who says we never do things she wants to do. However I see her almost every week and when we hang out we go to the things she likes to do like little road trips, visiting stores, or going somewhere to chill.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with going outside, so it’s become difficult for me to go places. She has suggested some things we could do (going to a theme park, ice skating) but I haven’t really followed through because I’ve been struggling with leaving the house because of my constant stress and anxiety. I feel like a bad friend because of this. I haven’t been feeling well lately, and I feel ashamed that I can’t do the things I used to be able to do. She knows I’m not doing well and tries to understand it. Also she wants to meet up and talk frequently (call everyday and meet every week) but i can’t do that because i feel depressed and stressed all the time, also so much contact is too much for me. And that’s also what’s bothering her :(

The thing is, she asked me to visit her at work so she could show me what she does, but I didn’t want to go. Now she’s angry and says I’m selfish because I refused. During our argument, she told me that going there would have made her happy and that it hurt that i didn’t want to come.

Now I feel like a bad friend, and I don’t know if I’m wrong for refusing to do something I didn’t want to do, even if it would have made her happy. I’m also trying to stop people pleasing because i say most of the times yes. I noticed that she doesn’t respond well when i say no to things. Idk if i am wrong and if it’s okay to say no to something I don’t want to do?

Hey so I’m 25F. I joined into my first fulltime job when I was 22. This place was all about targeting the influencer audience (event space) eventually I made a lot of influencer friends ofc none are my besties but yk my whole instagram is filled with them. I left my job a while back now I freelancer and I love that life for me ngl. But somewhere I feel like I lost touch with constantly going out meeting people I now only have 2 really close people to me my boyfriend and a long distance friend from uni. I love them both. But since the last few months I’ve been still feeling quite lonely in a way where I look at peoples stories and I’m like oh wow they’re hanging out together and are best friends and all of them have a life where they keep getting famous. It’s eating me on the inside that that’s the life I’ve always wanted. Recently I also went to a few events alone thinking ok I’ll make new friends get close to a few and become this group of people who always hangout together but it didn’t work all these people are so self centred like they always already have their own group and they don’t really talk much with people outside the circle. The very last event I went to I was literally sitting alone I tried to make conversation with people around me but nobody seemed interested. And that made me feel even more horrible. In a city like Mumbai it’s so hard to find people cuz the circle is so small and people always have someone unlike me. I have accepted the fact that I’m one big jealous person because I have always craved for it and I’ve never got it even though I’ll try to put in all my efforts. And this horrible feeling of self doubt emerges through it and idk what to do about it.

I have also tried journaling I have tried a therapist but I don’t think it worked for me so I’ve just been in this void of “will I ever even have a friend group when I actually grow older??”

Another story that I have is I also had an intern under me who I taught a lot of shit everything they knew was through me and they have also popped off on Instagram I got so jealous when that happened it felt like a part of me got famous but just not my name on it. Has anyone experienced anything of this sort and if yes how did you tackle it. Please be kind and any help would be great :)

Thank you for hearing my rant

I’m turning 27 in November and I have 0 friends. My last friend blocked me for no reason yesterday when I was speaking with her fine last week. May 2025 I lost everything after mental breakdown and psych ward stay and ever since then I’ve been in isolation and trying to heal. I lost 2 friends this year and I don’t know what I did. All I asked one friend was for equal effort and the other one blocked me for no reason. I’m alone and I have no family support either I’m just a 27 year old woman trying to figure everything out. It’s just me. I used to have so many friends in my early 20s now I’m alone. I don’t know what to do or if I’ll ever find my people. My life completely changed after May 2025 I came out with no job no friends no support. I don’t know what the universe wants from me

This question came up to me today when I was walking into a lab (I am a science major at university) 25 minutes early, and one of the lab TAs said, "God, no need to come in so early," with an attitude. It really pissed me off how someone would be so bitchy to a stranger for no reason. Later, I thought, no one actually likes someone like that, right?

She reminded me of the people who would bully me in high school. Does anyone actually like people like that? Do they respect their audacity and attitude or something? Why are they always so popular too? Are they just fake and trick everybody into thinking they're nice? Are people just too intimidated by them to speak out or stand up against them?

I’ll keep it short started a job 2 years ago. Last year got bought out by private equity. Leadership gets laid off or quits every 6 months. Have had about 4 switches of leadership since I started. Nothing is working properly no room for growth since everyone is in survival mode and initiatives get changed every 6 months. So we are just left fixing/blamed for the last leaderships initiative.

Before this I never really struggled with work ethic or happiness outside of work. I would use my phone a normal amount at work. You know a break every 2 hours or so for a quick 5 minute Reddit session.

I would go to the gym 6 days a week. I would play video games a healthy amount 2-5 hours a week more maybe if I really got hooked on something. Would read a book or watch a tv show.

But ever since this work thing started around 6 months ago. I have lost all motivation at work and in my personal life. I spend almost all day at work listening to YouTube videos or browsing Reddit while working. I’m addicted to my phone now but it doesn’t bring joy. Now with video games I have this unhealthy addiction I try to play at least 1 hour a day but I don’t enjoy it I hop from game to game trying to find happiness.

If I’m at home cleaning or doing a chore that takes 5 minutes I need to spend 10-30 minutes finding a YouTube video to listen to. It’s like I’m trying to maximize my joy but I never actually feel joy anymore. I stopped going to the gym because I feel I need to spend more time playing video games or doing another hobby. I never really enjoyed the gym but I did used to push myself to go and always felt better after.

My life has not changed much all my hobbies are the same except I try to do them any chance I can to the extreme and I don’t feel joy. And the big change of no gym is this a deeper addiction or depression? Or all tied to work I’ve never felt like this and I hate it

I feel like I’ve completely lost myself over the past few years, both physically and mentally, and I genuinely don’t know how to turn things around. I’ve gained over 40 pounds, and it’s taken an enormous toll on my self-esteem and the way I see myself. I feel so incredibly ugly and unattractive, to the point where I dread seeing photos of myself and actively avoid having pictures taken. I barely recognize myself anymore, and it’s devastating to feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I don’t feel feminine, beautiful, or confident, and I feel like I’ve completely let myself go. I also have no real sense of personal style, don’t know how to dress my current body, and rarely feel put together. I desperately want to be someone who takes pride in her appearance, looks polished, and feels beautiful, but I feel so far removed from that person.
Beyond my appearance, I struggle tremendously with motivation, discipline, and executive dysfunction. I have so many goals and aspirations, but I cannot seem to translate my thoughts into actions. I procrastinate constantly, struggle with basic routines and self-care, and feel overwhelmed by things that should be simple. I also struggle with brain fog, word recall, and articulating my thoughts, which makes me feel even more insecure. I feel like I’ve lost my ambition, drive, intellectual curiosity, and general excitement about life.

I spend so much time researching self-improvement, planning routines, and imagining the person I want to become, but I rarely manage to follow through with any of it.

What’s especially frustrating is that, objectively, I have a good life. I’m educated, have a professional career, and have accomplished things I should be proud of, yet I feel deeply dissatisfied with myself. I constantly feel like I’m wasting my potential and falling short of the person I know I could be. I want to feel beautiful, feminine, intelligent, articulate, disciplined, organized, and confident. I want to wake up feeling excited about my life instead of disappointed in myself. I feel like I’m stuck in this endless cycle of wanting to change everything about myself but feeling completely incapable of actually doing it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar and genuinely managed to turn their life around? I’m particularly interested in hearing what helped you rebuild your self-esteem, develop discipline, improve your appearance, and regain your sense of identity. I feel like I’ve spent years waiting to become a better version of myself, and I’m terrified of continuing to waste my life feeling this way.

The longer I go on with my life, the more I realized how much I’ve changed and the further I’m pushing the people I love away from me. I want to change (I need to change), I just don’t know how.

I (18yo) was once described to be a joyful kid who always saw the good in everything. I can’t help but ask where that went. I assumed it was because of puberty and that this negative demeanor would pass, but I feel like it’s gotten worse. I’ve always been somewhat irritable, especially when I was really young. Back then (even now) I get super irritable at small repetitive noises, mostly humming and singing. Now I find that list has grown to tapping, chewing, humming, stomping, pen clicking, and more that I can’t think of now. Everytime I’m in class and I hear something like this, I can feel the warmth in my stomach getting hotter and my fists clenching that I shoot my hand up and ask to use the bathroom. I found that digging my finger nails into this rubber part of my pencil to be somewhat therapeutic, but it’s only temporary. I also get really irritated when I’m at church. A lot of families go to my church, so it’s not uncommon to see parents with really young children. I feel like such a horrible person to say that crying babies and hearing them bang toys around annoys the crap out of me to the point where I feel my face get hot.

This anger and irritation doesn’t stop at strangers. I find myself getting mad at friends, but never lashing out at them, I just sound super passive aggressive and then I profusely apologize after. My friends means the world to me, so pushing them away (especially in my senior year) is definitely not something I want to do.

The worst of my anger is when I’m at home. Despite being at home , I have no right to lash out at my family , yet I do , and I feel horrible for it. I yell at my mom when we have disagreements, I yell at my dad when he reminds me 100 times a day to get something done, I yell at my brother when he annoys me or does something I don’t like, like watch geometry dash video on tv at 90% volume. I love my family and I don’t want to lash out at them, but I do anyways, and I feel like I’m isolating myself. I recently got into a fight with my mom today about yelling at my brother, and she told, “you’re impossible to live with. You’re always so angry you’re never going to get along with anybody ever. If you’re scared of your brother hating you, you’re just a few steps there”. I love my family so much. As much as I hate getting into the same argument with my parents about my anger, they’re 100% right: I AM unbearable. I AM horrible to live with. But my argument of “I can’t control my anger” isn’t going to cut it. I don’t know when the day will be where another argument might result in me getting kicked out, so I need to get this under control.

Another thing my mom told me is how much she hates my negativity. I agree, I’m super negative, but it’s hard not to be. In the world we live it, we’re surrounded by negativity, so it’s hard not to go, “hey you heard what insert terrible person did recently? Super bad stuff”. My negatively is mainly consisted of complaining, which is another thing I do often. I find that 90% of convos I have is me complaining about something. I can always see how sick and tired people are when I tell them about something like this. I try to keep it to myself but I feel like it ends up manifesting and once someone asks what’s wrong I unload.

This anger also manifests into envy. I never used to feel so jealous of people, even friends. Anytime I catch myself feeling like this I can’t help but feel like a horrible person. Why can’t I just be happy for people I love to succeed? I don’t want them to fail, but why do I feel so jealous?? Also, why can I never mind my own business?? I found that I’m always caught up in what others do, that I halt my own work. I don’t want to care about what others do, but my brain decides to direct my thinking to them (this probably plays into my sensitively to noises but idk)

I tried to think of reasons on why I’m like this, and I feel like it’s because my emotions build up so much that I need to release them. But because I’m always so mad, it’s a never ending release. I can cry or scream for a long time, but never feel better, because there’s always something my brain cooks up to make me feel like shit again. My parents tell me I’m paranoid and to just “quit it”, but I simply cant just stop. I’m aware things like this take time. Anytime I try to improve I always fall back into my original mess.

I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to continue pushing the people I love most away from me just because of how i act. I don’t want to constantly feel a pit in my stomach from all these negative emotions. I can’t afford therapy and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone else about this, so I hope Reddit will help. Kinda bad to put my faith into Reddit, but I feel like I’m out of options. If you read my rant , I deeply thank you.

(Sorry if this sounds too repetitive at some points)

hello people of reddit!! :) it’s my first time posting on this subreddit and i’m face palming for not finding this sooner. anyway, hope all is well with everyone!

so hopping to the meat and potatoes of this discussion, i would like to seek some advice on how to love spending time alone. despite being an introvert, i like it when i’m surrounded by or talking with people. and while i’d like to think that i’m fine being alone, i like having someone to debrief with and talk about the mundane stuff with. i used to think i’d find that in a romantic partner (which lead to me to romanticize love) but i think i just want someone i can be vulnerable and comfortable to be authentic with. however, i can’t help but overthink— that i’m too much or burden my friends with my neediness and constant need for attention. i don’t want to be a toxic friend. bc of this, i isolate myself until i’m back to being “normal.” how do i not feel so extremely and be so sensitive all the time? the self-help books are not very helping me so much 🥺

No one that is normal would spend 15-21 years of age mainly on bed,avoindjng people, possible jobs, passions. No one would go to college for something they are not even into. Everyone has some passion. My only was to doomscroll. A 21 year old Man that is a child. I dont remember anything from my past and my future is probably doomscrolling and dying before 30s

i am suffering end stage kidney failure and undergoing dialysis. IDK where to go but if I wind up homeless one of my options is to undergo hospice. Mom is kicking me out because I can't pay her rent since I quit my job and my college schooling. I'm worried this isn't fixable

I'm curious how others in their early-to-mid 20s are dealing with this stuff.

Everyone seems to have it figured out online, but I'm guessing most of us are still working through something, whether it's appearance, career, money, friendships, relationships, or just feeling "behind."

If you're 20, 21, or anywhere in your 20s:

What's one insecurity you still carry?

What are you doing to work on it (therapy, gym, journaling, new habits, just time)?

Has anything actually helped?

No judgment here.

Hoping we can learn from each other. I'll go first in the comments.

fonts. alignment. i changed the title like 9 times. then at 11pm i realized i had 11 more slides and zero energy so they’re all just bullet points i’ll read off the screen lmao
i do this with everything now that i notice. the first thing gets everything i have and the rest get whatever’s left. so now i set a timer before i start anything and when it goes off i move on even if it looks ugly

I'm 22M, I have been feeling very very lonely past few days. I've been longing to be loved and cared for a while now.

I talked to my friend about it and he just told me to do some inner work like self care, getting new hobbies and such... But I don't feel like doing any of them.

It's more like on and off, one day I do things right and next day i don't do it.

I sometimes feel like I'm victimizing myself too much but at the same time life hasn't been kind lately.

Financial issues, my depression, relationship issues with my parents.

I have to find a job soon and I have this terrible job anxiety... I've never worked and I'm scared that I might screw up and get judged or be called names.

Idk... I've been Journaling and audio Journaling as well but it just doesn't help. I need therapy so bad but I can't afford it.

Working out, sometimes twice a day and 15k steps has kept me sober, stopped me from breaking down and made me completely emotionally numb. I also take an SSRI.

Gradually over the last couple years I have:

Isolated myself from all but a few of my friends due to deep seated fears, and avoidant attachment style.

Sabotaged my relationship with a wonderful man who has since broken up with me.

Gotten into my overdraft.

Ended up in a dead end job with long hours.

Stopped speaking to family because I feel I have nothing to say or give at the end of my long working day.

Movement has kept me sane, and I've never felt more physically fit, however I feel its becoming an obsession and unhealthy coping mechanism. I'm struggling to keep weight on, and am now underweight according to the BMI but if I stop, I feel like I'll go crazy. I spend my days off working out and base my routine around it, so much so I never "have time" to sit down and fix my personal problems.

Where do you even start when there's so much you want to change, but you feel so numb and lost and isolated?

I'm 25f and I feel so depressed about my life and i have no goals right now because I can't get myself to care about anything.

I started feeling like this during my senior year of college getting super anxious and hiding in my room and skipping exams and doomscrolling all night. It's been over a year now since I've graduated and I cannot for the life of me get a freaking full time/corporate job. I've applied to over 350 jobs and nothing has passed a 2nd round interview and then I'm ghosted. I had a breakup in June and a best friend break up right after. And I just moved to a big city to try to push myself

I've tried creating content on TikTok and some videos have done really well but I don't have the drive or discipline to be consistent. My sleep is terrible and my diet is not bad and I do workout. There's no structure to my days because I lose motivation and bedrot for days without leaving my apartment. I feel like such a loser and I avoid talking to my family because I'm ashamed.

I didn't use to be like this which makes it worse. I used to have drive and feel excited for life and have big dreams and those dreams are dead. Maybe it's my stagnant job progress or the depressing state of the world. I feel so guilty with all the privilege I have and I know someone in my current position could take so much more advantage.

I don't know how to fix myself.

Between Right and Wrong

The mind demands a verdict:
Who is wrong, and who is right?
It struggles to hold two truths
within the same light.

It swings between the opposites,
as if one must be gone.

Two truths may stand beside each other
and both of them belong.
Life can hold both dark and light,
and still go on.

After we awaken, sensing the first quiet messages from within, we begin to understand every person, even those we do not know, is intimately connected.

With this understanding, we now realize it matters not if someone is family, different from us, or complete strangers. We are all one, related, brothers and sisters, alive to selflessly help everyone in their journey through life.

24M , I suffer from severe General Anxiety Disorder.

I work in a public sector bank and The anxiety i have everyday from day to night is just killing me from inside.

My manager is beyond toxic and he pressurises us on every single thing . Then there is a pressure for the customer as well. Toxic and rude customers who come to branch to fight and argue.

Now you can say keep yourself busy but even while doing other activities, I keep thinking about those incidents. I just can't get it out of my head.

Now my problem is I overthinking to the point where I physically can't even do anything. I know it's now a good thing to do but it doesn't just go away after some time. It stays forever . Little minor argument and I keep thinking about it whole day , all the time while sleeping, eating , drinking. I can't sleep at night. I keep replaying the situation and Can't get it out of my head.

I get freeze at the moment and can't reply back , neither to my manager nor to any customer . In fact I get freezed up every time I there is a situation of confrontation. Then I can't get those things out of my head. In fact I tell you something , things which happened 3 months ago I still can't get out of my head.

Please Please give me practical solutions on how I can change myself. What should I do ?

I was thinking of learning martial arts , will it make me more courageous and confrontational ?

I don't know , please help me.

Ive all along had quite poor self esteem and confidence. Recent years, I started to be more confident but it all came from my achievements and it was quite temporary. Ive made friends and can see that they are just naturally confident, walk confident, speak confidently and project a very put together image.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can work towards having intrinsic confidence? I tried therapy for a while but I found I just wasnt ready to talk about some of my past relationships so I stopped.

I feel like i lacked drive and fire since i was a kid even tho i went through many set back in life that would have drove anyone else to make a come back i just feel like i just plan and then do nothing the moment i get tired i stop or procrastinate i have no drive and I'm so undetermined how do i change that??