r/rescuedogs • u/sad_pine-tree • 22h ago
Grief How to deal with a sudden loss
My husband and I adopted our son Star in 2023 at 3 years old. He came with a lot more health issues than we were told he had (kidney disease, gallbladder disease, liver disease, chronic ear infections, allergies, polydipsia, and polyuria) but we fell in love with him and took as good care of him as we could. We worked diligently with regular vets and an internal medicine specialists for 3 years to stabilize him on a large medication regimen that made him comfortable and happy. Honestly we have a lot of debt from his medical care
In early October something changed after some medication changes and he didn’t seem right. We took him to the vet and they found a low grade heart murmur. We reversed the medication change and were waiting to see its impact before getting into see the cardiologist. He started showing signs of respiratory distress that weekend and he wasn’t well so my husband rushed him to the ER where they found out Star was in heart failure and his murmur had gotten a lot worse. I rushed home from a trip and we brought star home.
Star never got better, even after they got him through the first episode of heart failure. They told us with all of his concurrent issues, it was likely he would go into heart failure again, even if they could try and treat it. He did the next afternoon. We didn’t want him to suffer anymore, he had fought for so long and so hard all of his life. He had a really hard life before we adopted him.
I don’t know why I’m even writing this all out other than to say i cannot cope with this loss. We knew he was sick and would pass away one day, but we thought he would be old and gray. We simply weren’t ready. How am I supposed to get through this. How are we supposed to get through this. I miss him so much and I just feel like I can’t breathe every single day.
This isn’t my first time losing pets, my childhood dogs passed away at a nice old age. We don’t want kids. Star was our baby. He was with us in our first house together and there on the day we got married. It feels like no one understands how big of a loss this is to us.
Edit: I’ve spent most of the day reading all of your comments. Thank you so much for helping me feel less alone. I’m sharing them with my husband too. For everyone who also shared their losses, I’m so sorry we are going through this together. I’ve been lighting a candle for Star every night and will light an extra candle for all of your babies tonight too. Thank again for helping me feel the love. I can only hope to share it back.