r/polyamoryR4R • • 4d ago

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rules post updated.

13 Upvotes

This is only a short update. I've collated all of the various rules updates posts and automod changes into the various "rules" links. This should mean that the Rules link is now fully up to date.

If you are on "new Reddit" then please note the dropdown rules list has a character limit so cannot be a detailed reflection of the full rules. The main link contains the full rules.

In terms of auto moderation Rules 3, 4, 5, and 6 are auto enforced or are having auto enforcement trialed.


r/polyamoryR4R • • Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

99 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

​

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

​

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

​

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

​

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

​

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

​

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

​

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

​

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 1h ago

35 [F4M] SE Pennsylvania

• Upvotes

Hello! New to this subreddit, not to polyamory. I’m married to a partner of 12+ years (we both date separately for the most part) and looking for new connections.

In person would be nice if it worked out, but also happy to chat online and keep each other company through the phone. Bonus points if it’s fun, flirty, and the chemistry is there. 🔥

About me: I dabble in many things and my interests change well over week depending on my mood, available free time, and the weather. My current interests are climbing, lifting weights, reading (horror for spooky season!) board games (have a shelf-breaking collection), crafting, anime. I’m also a mom.

Physically: Fit, 5’6”, pretty heavily tattooed, long hair, and willing to send photos especially if you do first!

Shoot me a message with some info about what you’re into and we’ll see where this goes?


r/polyamoryR4R • • 12m ago

38 [M4F] [Baltimore] Looking for a genuine connection, nerdy conversations, and something meaningful

• Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I’m a 38-year-old guy living in Baltimore, happily married to my best friend of almost 10 years. We practice polyamory and date separately, and I’m looking to build an independent, meaningful relationship of my own.

**A little about me**
I’m a nerd at heart. I love Star Wars, video games, and music, especially Radiohead. I can spend way too much time talking about the meaning behind a song. My interests tend to rotate, so there’s always something new I’m getting into. I’ve also been wanting to learn the ukulele!
I enjoy exploring Baltimore, discovering coffee shops, checking out shows, finding new music, and having conversations that go from goofy nonsense to surprisingly deep topics.
I work in youth development and workforce engagement, helping young people build skills and work toward their futures. I care about making a difference in my community and also volunteer with immigrant accompaniment efforts.

**What I’m looking for**
Someone kind, curious, communicative, and emotionally available. I value honesty, transparency, mutual respect, and people who make an effort. I’d love to find someone who gets excited about talking, making plans, sharing interests, and building a connection without rushing things.
You don’t have to share all my interests. Tell me about your favorite game, the album you can’t stop listening to, or the latest rabbit hole you’ve fallen into.
I have ADHD, so my interests can change quickly, and sometimes I get distracted or lose track of messages. I appreciate understanding, open communication, and a little patience.

**The ideal first date?**
Coffee and exploring Baltimore, checking out a local event, or spending an afternoon talking about everything and nothing. I’m happy to start with a conversation and see if the chemistry is there.
If this sounds like your kind of thing, send me a message! Tell me a little about yourself and recommend a song I should listen to.

Bonus points if it sends me down a musical rabbit hole.

Looking forward to meeting you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 18m ago

USA 40[F4A] Upstate New York

• Upvotes

Hey there! I’m hoping to connect with a good friend, and ideally a future best friend if we click.

​To be totally transparent: I’m polyamorous, but I don't have the emotional or practical bandwidth for a romantic relationship right now. I’m also demisexual, so feeling a real spark takes time. For me, a genuine connection is built over time through consistency, effort, and actual patience. I know fast-paced connections are the norm lately, but I definitely prefer taking it slow and building real trust and mutual support first.

​I do hope to reach a romantic place with the right person eventually, but right now I’m entirely focused on building a solid friendship.

​What I'm really looking for is someone to chat with all day. Someone who sneaks quick replies on their phone during work, wants to share the boring and exciting parts of their day, and genuinely wants to hear about mine.

​Just a heads up: I can't meet up in person right now. I've got kids and some living situation constraints, so this is strictly online/texting for now.

A bit about me:

I’m 39, married, and have three kids. In my free time, I’m big into nature photography, hiking, writing, creative projects, and making ambient YouTube videos. I'm liberal, atheist, and neurodivergent-friendly (I manage anxiety and depression myself). Demisexual, Pansexual. I’m 420-friendly, vape nicotine, and take daily gummies for sleep and mood. I tend to open up pretty slowly. To me, building trust and comfort takes time, consistency, and mutual effort, but I love the process of really getting to know someone over time.

​What I’m hoping to find:

Someone roughly in my age group (35 to 52), liberal, non-religious, and in EST (US only). Most importantly, I’m looking for someone who likes steady, daily communication and wants to build a quiet, genuine friendship over text. I value peace and real connection, so if you like playing games or disappearing for days at a time, we probably won't be a great fit.

​Feel free to check out my profile to learn a bit more. If this sounds like what you’re looking for, send me a message and tell me a little about yourself!

​​If all of that sounds like your speed, send me a PM If you value consistent communication and letting things grow naturally without any pressure, I’d love to chat. (please don't comment!). I use a few quick questions to filter out fakes and make sure we'll actually click, so please make sure to answer all of these:

​* Age.

* ​Gender.

* ​Your state.

* ​Who you voted for in 2024.

*​A short intro about yourself.

​If any of these are missing, I'm going to pass and won't be replying.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 40m ago

29[m4f] NC

• Upvotes

Haven't always been too social talkative in social situations but looking to connect with somebody new and change that. I really enjoy being outdoors, reading, some gaming recently. Don't know what else to say here lol Anybody is free to send me a message.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 4h ago

35 [F4M] Johannesburg, South Africa / Online — A little TLC, good conversation and genuine connection?

2 Upvotes

I'm 35, short, curvy, partnered and exploring polyamory. I'm based in Johannesburg (South Africa), but I'm open to online connections too because apparently finding emotionally available people in one geographic location is harder than it should be.

I'm in the mood for a little TLC, some good conversation and someone who actually wants to get to know me. Someone to talk nonsense with, flirt a little, check in on each other and just enjoy each other's company. You know, that feeling when someone is genuinely happy to hear from you? That....

I'm open to multiple connections, and I'm not coming here with a predetermined agenda for what every connection needs to become. I'd rather meet people, talk, build trust, see if there's chemistry and let things develop naturally. But I am interested in connections that have the potential to become something meaningful, rather than endless chatting that never goes anywhere.

Emotional connection matters to me. So does companionship, affection, being able to talk about absolutely nothing and everything, laughing together and eventually becoming people who genuinely enjoy having each other in their lives.

I'm a slow burn. I'm not rushing into anything, and if your opening message is basically a sexual proposition, we're probably not going to be a great match.

I'm attracted to people who are kind, emotionally intelligent, curious, communicative and consistent. Bonus points if you're funny and can hold an actual conversation. I appreciate someone who makes an effort, shows genuine interest and isn't afraid to give a little affection and reassurance.

I'm very independent in everyday life, but here's the contradiction: I spend most of my life being capable and taking care of things, while secretly wanting someone to make me feel ridiculously adored and safe enough to switch all of that off sometimes.

I read far too many smut books, I'm fascinated by psychology and people, and I'm probably a little shy underneath all the confidence.

I'm partnered and date independently. I'm not looking for a third, and I'm not here for secrecy or anything that depends on someone else's partner being kept in the dark. Honesty, respect, communication and sexual safety are absolute requirements.

Johannesburg is ideal, but I'm willing to see where online connections go too. I'm much more interested in effort and genuine interest than a postcode.

If you're going to message me, tell me something about yourself. Give me something I can actually respond to. “Hey” is technically a word, but it's not exactly a conversation starter.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 1h ago

19 [TF4A] #NH/NE Nerdy Trans Fem looking to form a polycule with my mtf girlfriend whose 21

• Upvotes

Hello my name is Zachary I know not fem but I am nonbinary trans fem that has been on HRT since 9/1/2026. I am 19 and very nerdy. I can be very clingy and I have the energy to go around. I am looking for people around my age within 5 years and over 18. I like history, golf, video games, cars/motorcycles which I ride one I just am tired of being lonely and I have been talking to poly friends who suggested I might like it so want to give it a try and I will introduce you to my girlfriend if I like you or think she will like you and she’s from Brazil so thanks for your time and have a good day.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 2h ago

32 [M4F] #NYC - looking for connection

1 Upvotes

Hey y’all. I’m 32m living in Brooklyn in a newly open poly relationship and honestly mainly looking to build community in this space right now.

I’m seeking people to talk to ideally in the NYC area. If we end up clicking even better. FWIW I’m 6’ tall, white, slim but fit and in shape. I’m in tech but moonlight as a musician, enjoy getting outside, and trying new things. DMs are open!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 2h ago

USA 32 [M4F] NH/ Anywhere - Who ordered a charming, quirky, and geeky nurse to talk nerdy to?

1 Upvotes

I'm a nurse, which means I spend a lot of my time taking care of other people and the rest of it pursuing extremely important hobbies such as running a D&D campaign that's been going for years. I built an entire fantasy world for it, complete with history, factions, wars, religions, cities, questionable political decisions, and an alarming number of things that my players were absolutely not supposed to kill yet. Ask to see my maps! I also like painting tiny plastic soldiers. My Warhammer collection has gotten completely out of hand. Send help.

So yes, I'm a nerd. But I'm not the kind of nerd who can only talk about one thing. I like getting interested in whatever makes someone else light up. If you can spend an hour explaining some bizarre niche you're passionate about and make me want to learn more, you've probably already got my attention.

I'm sarcastic, reasonably funny, and confident enough to make fun of myself without needing to turn every sentence into a self-deprecating joke. I like playful arguing, teasing, stupid humor, and conversations that can jump from something completely ridiculous into an unexpectedly serious discussion without either of us realizing how we got there.

I'm also a dog person, unfortunately for my dignity. I have two dogs and absolutely no objectivity about either of them. They are both perfect. I have photographic evidence.

What I'm hoping to find is a woman who's curious, playful, intelligent, and has a personality of her own. Someone who can give me sass, take some in return, and isn't afraid of a little flirting once we establish that we actually like each other. I'm not looking to force this into a relationship immediately. Let's talk. If we click, we'll figure out the rest. Maybe we become friends. Maybe there's chemistry. Maybe we end up staying awake until stupid o'clock talking about something neither of us expected to care about.

And if nothing else, I can offer you unsolicited dog pictures and several hours of D&D lore that you absolutely did not ask for.

If you're going to message me, skip the "hey." Tell me something I can actually work with


r/polyamoryR4R • • 13h ago

25 [F4R] SW PA/Online- AuDHD girl for friends, hopefully more? 🖤

7 Upvotes

Hiii!! I’d love someone to play silly PC games and Spotify Jam with! I’m looking for somebody that I can truly be myself with. I want to talk about the good, bad and about whatever might come to mind.

Some things about me:

-I’m pan, demisexual and AuDHD. Soo don’t come at me, expecting me to be all lovey dovey or to not be awkward at times 🤣

-I live with my partner, two cats, and our toddler! You will hear all about the toddler shenanigans and my other partner(s)

-I love doing anything crafty and enjoy playing video games, especially of the cozy or friendslop variety.

-Music is huge for me. I listen to everything but I need someone to jam out to trap with

-Kink and BDSM are pretty important to me when it comes to partners. I’m very much a sub with a little bit of an attitude 😋🤣 (This isn’t something I want to dive into right away but it’s a big part of who I am so it’s being mentioned 🤣)

-I’m 5’5, pale with strawberry blonde hair (although it changes regularly) and squeezable in all the right places 😋🤣

-I am not okay with AI, MAGA or Christianity.

If after all that you’re still here, send me a message; I’d love to hear from you 🖤


r/polyamoryR4R • • 2h ago

USA 39 [T4T] [T4F] #Austin—Poly Trans Girl ISO Fun And Connection

1 Upvotes

Title says it all, but for more context: I’m 39, bisexual, one year on HRT, married and open, and down for pretty much anything as long as you’re nice. Fun hangs and intense connections, can be mixed together; friends and lovers, basically. Expanding the boundaries of romantic possibility, I guess.

Coffee, ice cream, drinks—as long as it’s social and involves me eating or drinking something, it’s a date. I’m not picky!

Ideally, I’m looking for someone also interested in a low-pressure, long-term relationship with a good emotional connection with some physical affection. You can be married, single, partnered, or whichever way you want to describe your non-monogamous romantic life—if we can fit some in-person time in our calendars, that’s perfect.

In addition, my goal is to meet someone who is local or travels frequently to the area.

Live with my spouse in Round Rock, close to the main highways. Hosting is inconsistent for me, so that's a limitation. I can travel, though, so if you're within reasonable distance and you can have me over, that's fine with me.

The regular stuff: I’m a massage therapist and instructor, so I’m good with my hands and giving instruction. I love touch, and I like sharing that with people (Plus: role play scene idea right there for you.). I’ve got a pretty open schedule when I’m off work, so setting things up shouldn’t be a big deal.

I have too many hobbies. Magic: the Gathering (hey girls), Roguelikes (Balatro and Dead Cells!); reading comics and novels and whatever else I can get my hands on; listening to extreme music that will almost certainly damage already damaged hearing, pop music, guitar music, and lots of other stuff that would label me as “eclectic and queer” (please ask, I would love to tell you all about it).

I love writing stories that are either about the little gay people in my head; or space gods getting shot in the face. They don’t usually mix, but never say never.

I am a musical theatre lover and moviegoer! We get out at least once a week to catch something. “Cabaret” and “Hadestown” are among my favorites.

Very much a horror fan, but my tastes are pretty diverse! We just saw “Primetime” and “You Can See Everything”, and those seem to be pretty great conversation starters.

I'm a spicy gal, so if you're spicy too, just ask!

I’m really not picky about gender or anything like that! If we click, that’s what counts. But if I’m going to be particular: trans folks to the front, cis and NB ladies are also highly welcome.

If you’ve read this far, tell me something very specific about something you love. Let’s see what sparks a conversation.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 2h ago

USA 38 [M4F] Tampa,Fl

1 Upvotes

Hi, 38M new to the Poly ENM side just looking to find a local connection and see where things take us my wife is 32F just in case you are wondering and is bi curious but its not a must if its not something your interested in I am a car guy i own 2 mustang I work on them and game in my spare time if your interested to learn more please message me and ill be happy to share/ answer any questions.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 3h ago

Europe 21 [M4F] #France #Bretagne - looking for a girl who are cute

0 Upvotes

Hi, I’m 21 old boy living in France. I live in Bretagne, if you think is too far away, please don’t message me. I’m poly and already have a partner. I love many thing like anime, drawing, reading, and going for walk and sport.

I’m looking for a partner who lives in France and is cute, kind, and lovely. Age is not a problem.

I want someone who live in France because I would like a longterm relationship and maybe that can be IRL, and even later maybe we can live in the same place.

Send me a message if you are interested <3


r/polyamoryR4R • • 15h ago

38 [F4A] online

9 Upvotes

ADHD Chaos Goblin Seeking Favorite Notification

Night-shift gremlin, WoW addict, Grey's Anatomy enthusiast, and occasional paint-slinging artist.

Mom to kids and a small zoo of dogs and cats. My ADHD brain has 37 tabs open, and at least three are playing music.

Poly and looking for a genuine online connection filled with flirting, laughs, random conversations, and mutual affection.

Bonus points if you're nerdy, a little weird, and can keep up with my chaos.

Tell me your current obsession or your most ridiculous hyperfixation!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 5h ago

38 [M4F] stepping into the Poly world

1 Upvotes

Hey, just entering the poly world. Wife found a new gf within five minutes and I can't get a bite so thought I'd try here instead. 38, Live in England, travel for work. Excellent chef, often told I'm funny and a good conversationalist. I'm looking for someone in a similar relationship, open but not looking for anything to replace what I have. Happy to swap pictures when chatting. 5ft 11, brown hair, slim and some stubble if that helps sway you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 5h ago

Europe 40 [M4F] France/Online - bookworm hoping to meet people who’ll broaden my horizons

1 Upvotes

Hi there! I’m a 40M based in France. I’ve been happily poly for a year now and currently have a lovely primary partner, hierarchical.

A bit about me

  • By day I work in engineering; the rest of the time you’ll find me driving red vehicles.
  • People tend to describe me as curious, easy-going and communicative.
  • Currently a bit obsessed with running.
  • My idea of a great weekend: a run, some reading next to a fireplace, good food, cuddling.
  • I’m 6.1 ft, reasonably fit

Who I’d love to meet

I’m open to dating/friendship/casual/seeing where it goes. You might be a good fit if you:

  • like reading and/or watching movies (what’s your favorite?)
  • practice some physical activity from time to time
  • are eager to communicate and share

If this sparks something, send me a message and tell me your favorite comfort meal so I know you made it to the end. Photos traded after a bit of chat :-) Looking forward to hearing from you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 12h ago

USA 41 [F4A] Illinois Online — Seeking a long-term connection

2 Upvotes

Hi 😊 I’m a 40-year-old, Trans Woman, living in Illinois. I’m looking for a long-term romantic connection with someone who enjoys steady communication and building something real over time.

My poly situation:

Married to my nesting partner (14 years) and live with our two other girlfriends!

ENM Polyamorous Kitchen Table

Dating independently (no couples please)  

Personality:

Liberal, introverted, anxiety/depression (managed, but real), emotional, sometimes clingy.

Neurodivergent (“neurospicy”) and intensely curious — I pick up new hobbies constantly and infodump when excited.

Living Situation:

Homeowner, Wife, 2 kids, 2 large dogs

Current Interests:

Spicy romance novels (ACOTAR, Heated Rivalry (Or any other MM/Hockey Romance), Bonds of Hercules, Zodiac Academy, Lights Out, Lola Glass (Monster Smut), sapphic romances, many more…

Crafty, love crocheting (recent special interest), being outside on nice days, gardening.

I’m a little bit nerdy for various different subjects.

What I’m looking for:

Someone who wants something consistent, enjoys conversation, and is open to letting attraction grow into something meaningful. I really just someone to talk to daily, via text/video chats/phone calls, long distance type girlfriend.

I can’t wait to meet you, send me a DM if you’re interested!   


r/polyamoryR4R • • 18h ago

USA 36 [F4R] #NYC polyamorous bossbabe seeks love

8 Upvotes

I’m in a polyamorous marriage, 36 and live in NYC. 5ft tall, curvy, green eyes.

I work a super stressful job and would love to find someone who can just take care of things and I’ll show up, have fun, look cute… let’s do romantic stuff and take care of one another!

Bowling, museums, theater, comedy shows, new restaurants, cuddles, falling in love… what else do you enjoy?

Pansexual so I want to know what makes you YOU, regardless of how you came into the world.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 22h ago

28 [F4R] Tennessee/Online - Soft artist seeking genuine connections, good laughs, and a possibly a project partner

9 Upvotes

Hello there! I’m looking to see if I can find anyone to match my love of quirk and whimsy while also possibly developing a slow burn or two along the way.

A little about me: I’m an early childhood educator by day and artist by night with my trusty sidekick orange cat (yes you may have pictures). I’m unapologetically myself in the sense that I love what I love and I will make a big deal out of it. My passions currently are printmaking, fiber arts, MtG, RPGs, and really anything I can cozy up and do. Some side hobbies I have from time to time are bookbinding, flying kites, and baking!

I’ve been polyamorous for a good while now. The honesty and open communication drew me in and I’ve been happily practicing kitchen table ever since!

What I am looking for is someone who possibly shares some of my passions with me or someone open to the idea of parallel play on a regular basis. I enjoy time well spent together by doing something together. That’s not to say I don’t also enjoy the moments where two could just be and enjoy the company that way too… Though a co-op playthrough of Stardew Valley seems very appealing at the moment…

I personally don’t need constant attention because we are all adults and have lives and such. I’m looking for something somewhat consistent at the moment so some good communication would be greatly appreciated!

If any of this appeals to you, please send me your favorite game or hobby right now! Or possibly even a pet picture if you have one? Either with a little about yourself would rouse a response out of me for sure!

Happy Tuesday and thank you for reading! ☺️


r/polyamoryR4R • • 12h ago

33 [M4F] Looking for a genuine connection, friendship, or maybe something more

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone! 😊

I’m 33, engaged, and have a daughter. I’m in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and looking to build a separate connection of my own. I’m open to friendship, something romantic, or just seeing where things naturally go.

I’m not necessarily looking to blend relationships or have everyone involved in each other’s lives. I’d love to find someone I can connect with on my own, someone who enjoys spending time together, getting to know each other, and building something genuine without putting pressure on what it has to become.

Ideally, I’d love to meet someone easygoing who shares similar interests and hobbies but is also up for a little adventure. I’m talking bonfires, random car rides, window shopping with no real destination, trying new places to eat, deep conversations that last for hours, movie nights, and those simple moments that somehow end up being the best ones.

I enjoy the idea of having someone you can laugh with, talk about anything with, make memories with, and feel comfortable being yourself around. Someone who can appreciate a quiet night in just as much as getting out of the house and doing something spontaneous.

I value honesty, communication, respect, and being upfront about expectations. I know ENM isn't for everyone, and that's completely okay! I'd rather find someone who's genuinely comfortable with my situation and interested in building a connection that works for both of us.

If any of this sounds like your kind of thing, feel free to reach out! Tell me a little about yourself, your interests, or even your idea of a perfect low-key adventure. 😊

Looking forward to seeing who I might connect with!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 12h ago

Europe 46 [M4F] #UK #Dorset #Online Looking for someone to have fun, friendship, love or all 3 😁

0 Upvotes

Hi you lovely people 😁

I'm married with 2 kids, I've been poly for the last 6 years, so I know how to communicate and deal with difficult emotions.

**ABOUT ME:**

I'm 5' 10" and 12 Stone, blue eyes, brown hair, athletic build.

I'm an active guy who loves to be adventurous both outside and inside the bedroom 😏 (feel free to ask any questions, I'm completely open about this)

I'm demisexual and leaning sapiosexual, so I value your mind and personality more than how you look, and intimacy is emotional to me.

I play cricket and love fishing. I love the outdoors but also love to watch movies and play games as well.

I have to warn anyone who is interested I love to message.

There is much more to me than this, but putting it all here would mean less to chat about later 😁

I'm more than happy to send pictures once I know you aren't a scammer or something 😂

**WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:**

Any kind of connection from friendship to a relationship, as long as it's clear from the start what you want and need, knowing boundaries and being able to negotiate when things need to change. (Not interested in ONS or non emotional intimacy)

I'd prefere someone who is also poly and partnered or someone who can be okay with me being married. (I've recently been hurt by someone after 3 years wanting to be monogamous and leaving my life)

I'd love someone who likes to improve themselves and I will take great pleasure in holding you to your word when you say you're going to go for some exercise 😉

Distance isn't an issue for me if you are worth it and you are willing to put in the effort needed to maintain a close relationship or friendship.

If you've read this far then send me a message and you never know what the future holds 🥰


r/polyamoryR4R • • 12h ago

Australia and New Zealand 31 [M4F] Aussie guy looking for connections

0 Upvotes

Hi! 31, based in Australia. I’m happy to travel or connect online first.

I work with the Army base here. In my downtime, you can usually find me working on videography projects, watching or talking rugby league, playing Pokémon, gaming, or reading.

Looking for people who appreciate a slow burn, good conversation, and doesn't mind a mix of casual chatting and occasional in-person meetups.

Shared interests in gaming, Pokémon, or nerdy stuff are a huge bonus, but mostly I'm just looking for good vibes, mutual attraction, and clear communication.

To start a conversation: Tell me what you're currently playing, reading, or your go-to comfort food!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 17h ago

USA 31 [F4F] Houston - Looking for other polyam sapphics

3 Upvotes

I’m looking for fellow polyam sapphics in Houston, Texas! Primarily seeking to build a long term romantic / sexual relationship, but very open to building friendships and introducing said sapphics to my various community spaces and groups.

I’ve been practicing solo polyamory for 9+ years! Came to it as an asexual person, but have identified as and have moved through the world in a queer / bisexual / pansexual kinda way for at least 6 years. I love the intentional building of connection and the communication skills polyamory has helped me learn and unlearn, especially as a queer orphan. I have prioritized friendships and community all my life and am interested in balancing that with building another romantic / sexual relationship with another polyam sapphic in town. I have historically felt pretty saturated at two partners at one time and do not see that changing.

I have always gravitated more towards and dated femme leaning folks in all but one of my serious relationships. Currently in a 4.5 year partnership with a kind pansexual man, and considering moving in with him and his other partner and her cat next year! That is not set in stone, but worth sharing as my solo polyam practice might shift a bit though my devotion to another partner will not. My current partner lived with a longterm ex girlfriend of mine for a year though they were not involved with each other at all, just enjoyed each other’s company. I gravitate toward kitchen table dynamics though would never force that on anyone. Have had some parallel sexual relationships that were absolutely wonderful. I am still wanting very much to find a sapphic someone to build and explore connection and intimacy in its many forms with and potentially live with them if that suits them too. I am very tidy and keep my living space clean. I do not want to have any children of my own and have an IUD, but am CPR certified and consider myself a villager in the village and absolutely love being around kids.

I love to read, write essays and screenplays, meander in the woods, lift weights, rollerblade, bike, swim, snuggle, watch movies, riff on comedic bits, play violin and electric bass, sing, write songs, hang with my newly adopted shelter kitty, paper collage, make scented candles and perfumes, shower or bathe with said scents going, consuming a raspberry popsicle in the shower, organize against the prison and military industrial complexes, go bowling with pals, play darts or disc golf, cook delicious and allergy friendly meals for friends and found family, drink mocktails, clean, travel by plane or by train or by bike or by boat, dress up for no particular reason, make cyanotypes, take portraits and capture documentary photography, develop film and make prints, share silly memes, make playlists as a love language, laugh, drink mango juice, writing letters and snail mail, playing co-op video games with friends, drink tea, yap with others about their hyper fixations and interests, talk about the world and politics and philosophy, and and and.

Favorite movies: Battle of Algiers, Moonlight, Howls Moving Castle, Bottoms, the Handmaiden - at my weekly movie club, I have won four awards at our 2nd and 3rd annual awards ceremonies! Once for being the sleepiest, and the other three for a pick of mine (the Korean lesbian revenge drama the Handmaiden) that won in the gayest, horniest, and best member pick categories. That film made me question my asexuality lol.

I’m a forever student filled with curiosity! If you’re also a polyamorous sapphic who loves other polyamorous sapphics, let’s chat! And maybe kiss ✨ and!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 13h ago

32 [M4F] #Philadelphia #Online– Board Games, Hiking Trails & a Little Mischief

0 Upvotes

Hey there! I am a 32‑year‑old guy from the Philadelphia area hoping to meet someone I genuinely click with and see where things go!

A little about me:

I am a 5’8" 215 lb well‑built guy who works in childcare. It is a job that needs a lot of patience, creativity and a good sense of humor. I have all three of those!

Outside of work I am a big nerd. I love tabletop games, D&D, board games and getting lost in a RPG. I am also into leatherworking and resin 3D printing. There is usually some project taking up space on my workbench.

I enjoy hiking, exploring nature and finding adventures. That said, I am happy spending a cozy evening inside playing games or enjoying someone’s company.

A little about my relationship style:

I am currently. Ethically non‑monogamous. I am hoping to meet a woman who wants to build a genuine connection of our own with no expectation of involvement with my existing partner.

I am also a Dom and have been actively involved in Philadelphia’s kink community for over five years. I really enjoy the trust, communication and connection that come with a D/s dynamic.

While finding someone who enjoys submission would be wonderful kink absolutely isn’t a requirement! I am more interested in finding someone I genuinely connect with than checking boxes on a list.

What am I looking for?

Someone who enjoys laughing, having conversations sharing interests and occasionally being a little ridiculous together.

I would love to find a connection that develops naturally. Whether that starts with friendship flirting or discovering we have too many hobbies in common I am happy to let things grow at a comfortable pace.

I value honesty, communication, consistency and making time for the people who matter.

If any of this sounds interesting I would love to hear from you!

Tell me a little about yourself what you are passionate about or what your ideal game night looks like.

Bonus points if you are willing to join me on a hiking trail or get way too competitive, over a board game!

Let us start with a conversation and see where the adventure takes us.