r/polyamoryR4R • • 4d ago

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rules post updated.

14 Upvotes

This is only a short update. I've collated all of the various rules updates posts and automod changes into the various "rules" links. This should mean that the Rules link is now fully up to date.

If you are on "new Reddit" then please note the dropdown rules list has a character limit so cannot be a detailed reflection of the full rules. The main link contains the full rules.

In terms of auto moderation Rules 3, 4, 5, and 6 are auto enforced or are having auto enforcement trialed.


r/polyamoryR4R • • Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

104 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

​

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

​

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

​

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

​

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

​

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

​

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

​

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

​

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 9h ago

25 [F4R] SW PA/Online- AuDHD girl for friends, hopefully more? 🖤

5 Upvotes

Hiii!! I’d love someone to play silly PC games and Spotify Jam with! I’m looking for somebody that I can truly be myself with. I want to talk about the good, bad and about whatever might come to mind.

Some things about me:

-I’m pan, demisexual and AuDHD. Soo don’t come at me, expecting me to be all lovey dovey or to not be awkward at times 🤣

-I live with my partner, two cats, and our toddler! You will hear all about the toddler shenanigans and my other partner(s)

-I love doing anything crafty and enjoy playing video games, especially of the cozy or friendslop variety.

-Music is huge for me. I listen to everything but I need someone to jam out to trap with

-Kink and BDSM are pretty important to me when it comes to partners. I’m very much a sub with a little bit of an attitude 😋🤣 (This isn’t something I want to dive into right away but it’s a big part of who I am so it’s being mentioned 🤣)

-I’m 5’5, pale with strawberry blonde hair (although it changes regularly) and squeezable in all the right places 😋🤣

-I am not okay with AI, MAGA or Christianity.

If after all that you’re still here, send me a message; I’d love to hear from you 🖤


r/polyamoryR4R • • 42m ago

35 [F4M] Johannesburg, South Africa / Online — A little TLC, good conversation and genuine connection?

• Upvotes

I'm 35, short, curvy, partnered and exploring polyamory. I'm based in Johannesburg (South Africa), but I'm open to online connections too because apparently finding emotionally available people in one geographic location is harder than it should be.

I'm in the mood for a little TLC, some good conversation and someone who actually wants to get to know me. Someone to talk nonsense with, flirt a little, check in on each other and just enjoy each other's company. You know, that feeling when someone is genuinely happy to hear from you? That....

I'm open to multiple connections, and I'm not coming here with a predetermined agenda for what every connection needs to become. I'd rather meet people, talk, build trust, see if there's chemistry and let things develop naturally. But I am interested in connections that have the potential to become something meaningful, rather than endless chatting that never goes anywhere.

Emotional connection matters to me. So does companionship, affection, being able to talk about absolutely nothing and everything, laughing together and eventually becoming people who genuinely enjoy having each other in their lives.

I'm a slow burn. I'm not rushing into anything, and if your opening message is basically a sexual proposition, we're probably not going to be a great match.

I'm attracted to people who are kind, emotionally intelligent, curious, communicative and consistent. Bonus points if you're funny and can hold an actual conversation. I appreciate someone who makes an effort, shows genuine interest and isn't afraid to give a little affection and reassurance.

I'm very independent in everyday life, but here's the contradiction: I spend most of my life being capable and taking care of things, while secretly wanting someone to make me feel ridiculously adored and safe enough to switch all of that off sometimes.

I read far too many smut books, I'm fascinated by psychology and people, and I'm probably a little shy underneath all the confidence.

I'm partnered and date independently. I'm not looking for a third, and I'm not here for secrecy or anything that depends on someone else's partner being kept in the dark. Honesty, respect, communication and sexual safety are absolute requirements.

Johannesburg is ideal, but I'm willing to see where online connections go too. I'm much more interested in effort and genuine interest than a postcode.

If you're going to message me, tell me something about yourself. Give me something I can actually respond to. “Hey” is technically a word, but it's not exactly a conversation starter.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 11h ago

38 [F4A] online

7 Upvotes

ADHD Chaos Goblin Seeking Favorite Notification

Night-shift gremlin, WoW addict, Grey's Anatomy enthusiast, and occasional paint-slinging artist.

Mom to kids and a small zoo of dogs and cats. My ADHD brain has 37 tabs open, and at least three are playing music.

Poly and looking for a genuine online connection filled with flirting, laughs, random conversations, and mutual affection.

Bonus points if you're nerdy, a little weird, and can keep up with my chaos.

Tell me your current obsession or your most ridiculous hyperfixation!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 1h ago

38 [M4F] stepping into the Poly world

• Upvotes

Hey, just entering the poly world. Wife found a new gf within five minutes and I can't get a bite so thought I'd try here instead. 38, Live in England, travel for work. Excellent chef, often told I'm funny and a good conversationalist. I'm looking for someone in a similar relationship, open but not looking for anything to replace what I have. Happy to swap pictures when chatting. 5ft 11, brown hair, slim and some stubble if that helps sway you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 2h ago

Europe 40 [M4F] France/Online - bookworm hoping to meet people who’ll broaden my horizons

1 Upvotes

Hi there! I’m a 40M based in France. I’ve been happily poly for a year now and currently have a lovely primary partner, hierarchical.

A bit about me

  • By day I work in engineering; the rest of the time you’ll find me driving red vehicles.
  • People tend to describe me as curious, easy-going and communicative.
  • Currently a bit obsessed with running.
  • My idea of a great weekend: a run, some reading next to a fireplace, good food, cuddling.
  • I’m 6.1 ft, reasonably fit

Who I’d love to meet

I’m open to dating/friendship/casual/seeing where it goes. You might be a good fit if you:

  • like reading and/or watching movies (what’s your favorite?)
  • practice some physical activity from time to time
  • are eager to communicate and share

If this sparks something, send me a message and tell me your favorite comfort meal so I know you made it to the end. Photos traded after a bit of chat :-) Looking forward to hearing from you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 14h ago

USA 36 [F4R] #NYC polyamorous bossbabe seeks love

8 Upvotes

I’m in a polyamorous marriage, 36 and live in NYC. 5ft tall, curvy, green eyes.

I work a super stressful job and would love to find someone who can just take care of things and I’ll show up, have fun, look cute… let’s do romantic stuff and take care of one another!

Bowling, museums, theater, comedy shows, new restaurants, cuddles, falling in love… what else do you enjoy?

Pansexual so I want to know what makes you YOU, regardless of how you came into the world.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 8h ago

USA 41 [F4A] Illinois Online — Seeking a long-term connection

2 Upvotes

Hi 😊 I’m a 40-year-old, Trans Woman, living in Illinois. I’m looking for a long-term romantic connection with someone who enjoys steady communication and building something real over time.

My poly situation:

Married to my nesting partner (14 years) and live with our two other girlfriends!

ENM Polyamorous Kitchen Table

Dating independently (no couples please)  

Personality:

Liberal, introverted, anxiety/depression (managed, but real), emotional, sometimes clingy.

Neurodivergent (“neurospicy”) and intensely curious — I pick up new hobbies constantly and infodump when excited.

Living Situation:

Homeowner, Wife, 2 kids, 2 large dogs

Current Interests:

Spicy romance novels (ACOTAR, Heated Rivalry (Or any other MM/Hockey Romance), Bonds of Hercules, Zodiac Academy, Lights Out, Lola Glass (Monster Smut), sapphic romances, many more…

Crafty, love crocheting (recent special interest), being outside on nice days, gardening.

I’m a little bit nerdy for various different subjects.

What I’m looking for:

Someone who wants something consistent, enjoys conversation, and is open to letting attraction grow into something meaningful. I really just someone to talk to daily, via text/video chats/phone calls, long distance type girlfriend.

I can’t wait to meet you, send me a DM if you’re interested!   


r/polyamoryR4R • • 19h ago

28 [F4R] Tennessee/Online - Soft artist seeking genuine connections, good laughs, and a possibly a project partner

8 Upvotes

Hello there! I’m looking to see if I can find anyone to match my love of quirk and whimsy while also possibly developing a slow burn or two along the way.

A little about me: I’m an early childhood educator by day and artist by night with my trusty sidekick orange cat (yes you may have pictures). I’m unapologetically myself in the sense that I love what I love and I will make a big deal out of it. My passions currently are printmaking, fiber arts, MtG, RPGs, and really anything I can cozy up and do. Some side hobbies I have from time to time are bookbinding, flying kites, and baking!

I’ve been polyamorous for a good while now. The honesty and open communication drew me in and I’ve been happily practicing kitchen table ever since!

What I am looking for is someone who possibly shares some of my passions with me or someone open to the idea of parallel play on a regular basis. I enjoy time well spent together by doing something together. That’s not to say I don’t also enjoy the moments where two could just be and enjoy the company that way too… Though a co-op playthrough of Stardew Valley seems very appealing at the moment…

I personally don’t need constant attention because we are all adults and have lives and such. I’m looking for something somewhat consistent at the moment so some good communication would be greatly appreciated!

If any of this appeals to you, please send me your favorite game or hobby right now! Or possibly even a pet picture if you have one? Either with a little about yourself would rouse a response out of me for sure!

Happy Tuesday and thank you for reading! ☺️


r/polyamoryR4R • • 8h ago

33 [M4F] Looking for a genuine connection, friendship, or maybe something more

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone! 😊

I’m 33, engaged, and have a daughter. I’m in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and looking to build a separate connection of my own. I’m open to friendship, something romantic, or just seeing where things naturally go.

I’m not necessarily looking to blend relationships or have everyone involved in each other’s lives. I’d love to find someone I can connect with on my own, someone who enjoys spending time together, getting to know each other, and building something genuine without putting pressure on what it has to become.

Ideally, I’d love to meet someone easygoing who shares similar interests and hobbies but is also up for a little adventure. I’m talking bonfires, random car rides, window shopping with no real destination, trying new places to eat, deep conversations that last for hours, movie nights, and those simple moments that somehow end up being the best ones.

I enjoy the idea of having someone you can laugh with, talk about anything with, make memories with, and feel comfortable being yourself around. Someone who can appreciate a quiet night in just as much as getting out of the house and doing something spontaneous.

I value honesty, communication, respect, and being upfront about expectations. I know ENM isn't for everyone, and that's completely okay! I'd rather find someone who's genuinely comfortable with my situation and interested in building a connection that works for both of us.

If any of this sounds like your kind of thing, feel free to reach out! Tell me a little about yourself, your interests, or even your idea of a perfect low-key adventure. 😊

Looking forward to seeing who I might connect with!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 8h ago

Europe 46 [M4F] #UK #Dorset #Online Looking for someone to have fun, friendship, love or all 3 😁

0 Upvotes

Hi you lovely people 😁

I'm married with 2 kids, I've been poly for the last 6 years, so I know how to communicate and deal with difficult emotions.

**ABOUT ME:**

I'm 5' 10" and 12 Stone, blue eyes, brown hair, athletic build.

I'm an active guy who loves to be adventurous both outside and inside the bedroom 😏 (feel free to ask any questions, I'm completely open about this)

I'm demisexual and leaning sapiosexual, so I value your mind and personality more than how you look, and intimacy is emotional to me.

I play cricket and love fishing. I love the outdoors but also love to watch movies and play games as well.

I have to warn anyone who is interested I love to message.

There is much more to me than this, but putting it all here would mean less to chat about later 😁

I'm more than happy to send pictures once I know you aren't a scammer or something 😂

**WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:**

Any kind of connection from friendship to a relationship, as long as it's clear from the start what you want and need, knowing boundaries and being able to negotiate when things need to change. (Not interested in ONS or non emotional intimacy)

I'd prefere someone who is also poly and partnered or someone who can be okay with me being married. (I've recently been hurt by someone after 3 years wanting to be monogamous and leaving my life)

I'd love someone who likes to improve themselves and I will take great pleasure in holding you to your word when you say you're going to go for some exercise 😉

Distance isn't an issue for me if you are worth it and you are willing to put in the effort needed to maintain a close relationship or friendship.

If you've read this far then send me a message and you never know what the future holds 🥰


r/polyamoryR4R • • 8h ago

Australia and New Zealand 31 [M4F] Aussie guy looking for connections

0 Upvotes

Hi! 31, based in Australia. I’m happy to travel or connect online first.

I work with the Army base here. In my downtime, you can usually find me working on videography projects, watching or talking rugby league, playing Pokémon, gaming, or reading.

Looking for people who appreciate a slow burn, good conversation, and doesn't mind a mix of casual chatting and occasional in-person meetups.

Shared interests in gaming, Pokémon, or nerdy stuff are a huge bonus, but mostly I'm just looking for good vibes, mutual attraction, and clear communication.

To start a conversation: Tell me what you're currently playing, reading, or your go-to comfort food!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 13h ago

USA 31 [F4F] Houston - Looking for other polyam sapphics

2 Upvotes

I’m looking for fellow polyam sapphics in Houston, Texas! Primarily seeking to build a long term romantic / sexual relationship, but very open to building friendships and introducing said sapphics to my various community spaces and groups.

I’ve been practicing solo polyamory for 9+ years! Came to it as an asexual person, but have identified as and have moved through the world in a queer / bisexual / pansexual kinda way for at least 6 years. I love the intentional building of connection and the communication skills polyamory has helped me learn and unlearn, especially as a queer orphan. I have prioritized friendships and community all my life and am interested in balancing that with building another romantic / sexual relationship with another polyam sapphic in town. I have historically felt pretty saturated at two partners at one time and do not see that changing.

I have always gravitated more towards and dated femme leaning folks in all but one of my serious relationships. Currently in a 4.5 year partnership with a kind pansexual man, and considering moving in with him and his other partner and her cat next year! That is not set in stone, but worth sharing as my solo polyam practice might shift a bit though my devotion to another partner will not. My current partner lived with a longterm ex girlfriend of mine for a year though they were not involved with each other at all, just enjoyed each other’s company. I gravitate toward kitchen table dynamics though would never force that on anyone. Have had some parallel sexual relationships that were absolutely wonderful. I am still wanting very much to find a sapphic someone to build and explore connection and intimacy in its many forms with and potentially live with them if that suits them too. I am very tidy and keep my living space clean. I do not want to have any children of my own and have an IUD, but am CPR certified and consider myself a villager in the village and absolutely love being around kids.

I love to read, write essays and screenplays, meander in the woods, lift weights, rollerblade, bike, swim, snuggle, watch movies, riff on comedic bits, play violin and electric bass, sing, write songs, hang with my newly adopted shelter kitty, paper collage, make scented candles and perfumes, shower or bathe with said scents going, consuming a raspberry popsicle in the shower, organize against the prison and military industrial complexes, go bowling with pals, play darts or disc golf, cook delicious and allergy friendly meals for friends and found family, drink mocktails, clean, travel by plane or by train or by bike or by boat, dress up for no particular reason, make cyanotypes, take portraits and capture documentary photography, develop film and make prints, share silly memes, make playlists as a love language, laugh, drink mango juice, writing letters and snail mail, playing co-op video games with friends, drink tea, yap with others about their hyper fixations and interests, talk about the world and politics and philosophy, and and and.

Favorite movies: Battle of Algiers, Moonlight, Howls Moving Castle, Bottoms, the Handmaiden - at my weekly movie club, I have won four awards at our 2nd and 3rd annual awards ceremonies! Once for being the sleepiest, and the other three for a pick of mine (the Korean lesbian revenge drama the Handmaiden) that won in the gayest, horniest, and best member pick categories. That film made me question my asexuality lol.

I’m a forever student filled with curiosity! If you’re also a polyamorous sapphic who loves other polyamorous sapphics, let’s chat! And maybe kiss ✨ and!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 10h ago

32 [M4F] #Philadelphia #Online– Board Games, Hiking Trails & a Little Mischief

0 Upvotes

Hey there! I am a 32‑year‑old guy from the Philadelphia area hoping to meet someone I genuinely click with and see where things go!

A little about me:

I am a 5’8" 215 lb well‑built guy who works in childcare. It is a job that needs a lot of patience, creativity and a good sense of humor. I have all three of those!

Outside of work I am a big nerd. I love tabletop games, D&D, board games and getting lost in a RPG. I am also into leatherworking and resin 3D printing. There is usually some project taking up space on my workbench.

I enjoy hiking, exploring nature and finding adventures. That said, I am happy spending a cozy evening inside playing games or enjoying someone’s company.

A little about my relationship style:

I am currently. Ethically non‑monogamous. I am hoping to meet a woman who wants to build a genuine connection of our own with no expectation of involvement with my existing partner.

I am also a Dom and have been actively involved in Philadelphia’s kink community for over five years. I really enjoy the trust, communication and connection that come with a D/s dynamic.

While finding someone who enjoys submission would be wonderful kink absolutely isn’t a requirement! I am more interested in finding someone I genuinely connect with than checking boxes on a list.

What am I looking for?

Someone who enjoys laughing, having conversations sharing interests and occasionally being a little ridiculous together.

I would love to find a connection that develops naturally. Whether that starts with friendship flirting or discovering we have too many hobbies in common I am happy to let things grow at a comfortable pace.

I value honesty, communication, consistency and making time for the people who matter.

If any of this sounds interesting I would love to hear from you!

Tell me a little about yourself what you are passionate about or what your ideal game night looks like.

Bonus points if you are willing to join me on a hiking trail or get way too competitive, over a board game!

Let us start with a conversation and see where the adventure takes us.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 22h ago

35 [M4F/R] Online/NY Fit, nerdy, bisexual, Latino interested in connections & flirty conversations

7 Upvotes

Good morning & hello to the friendly people of Reddit! 🍂🍁 Hope you’re all enjoying the Fall season so far!

I’m looking to connect online with women & non-binary individuals for friendship, connections, & potentially more, if the chemistry between us is there! I love talking & getting to know someone before anything else. Ideally, we could message each other for friendly conversation/trade memes/flirty texts/complain about the day or just people. Also down for voice memos, FT and phone calls.

About Me:

I’m 35, Latino, bilingual, Bisexual, leftist, fit/muscular build, 5’11, long, curly brown hair, in a poly marriage with my queer partner!

I’m a gym bro, without the toxic masculinity.

My Interests: I love photography, the Arts, exercising, cooking, going on long walks/runs, going to museums, movies, reading, traveling, listening to music/podcasts, watching women streamers play video games, and sports.

Favorite artists: Bad Bunny, Kendrick Lamar

Favorite movies: Motorcycle Diaries, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Amelie, Clue, Ocean’s 11, & the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Final Destination, Deadpool v Wolverine, most A24 films

Favorite TV shows: Lost, It’s Always Sunny, The Twilight Zone, The Simpsons, The Real World, The Challenge, Survivor, Big Brother, X-Files, King of the Hill, Animaniacs, Dragonball Z, Case Closed: Detective Conan

I have a wide range of NSFW kinks & interests, and would love to talk about that, as well as our vanilla interests!

Tell me one of your favorite movies in your initial messages! Have a great week!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 14h ago

34[M4F]

0 Upvotes

​

Hey all I'm located in NH

Good Conversation, Bad Jokes & a Little Chemistry 😉

I'm not here with some perfectly rehearsed pickup line or a checklist of expectations. I'm just looking for a genuine connection with someone who can match my sarcasm, appreciate a little witty banter, and isn't afraid to laugh at themselves. Bonus points if you can dish it out as well as you can take it.

I've been married for almost a decade, and we've recently decided to explore an open marriage. It's a new chapter, and I'm approaching it with an open mind, curiosity, and absolutely no idea what kind of interesting people I'll meet along the way. I've heard the open marriage and poly community is full of some pretty incredible personalities. Maybe I'll get lucky and stumble across one of them. Maybe that's you?

I'm not looking to force anything. Whether we end up being two people who make each other's phones a little more interesting or actually meet up and see if the chemistry translates beyond a screen, I'm happy to let things unfold naturally.

A little about me:

I'm a blue-collar guy, husky build. I work hard, play hard, and try not to take life too seriously. I stay active playing pickup sports, although keeping up with my little one might be the most demanding sport of them all.

Give me a bonfire, good friends, some laughs, and absolutely nowhere important to be, and I'm a happy guy.

I'm outgoing, easygoing, caring, and the type of person who can strike up a conversation with just about anyone. Seriously, I could walk into a grocery store for eggs and somehow spend 20 minutes discussing the questionable price of pickles with a complete stranger.

What catches my attention?

A woman who's down-to-earth, kind, funny, a little sarcastic, and comfortable being herself. Someone who can turn an ordinary Tuesday into a conversation worth looking forward to. Someone who understands that life is too short to sweat every little thing.

I'm not looking for perfection. I'm looking for personality, genuine effort, great conversation, and maybe that unexpected spark that makes you catch yourself smiling at your phone.

So, if you've made it this far, we already have something in common: apparently, neither of us knows when to stop reading. 😉

Don't be shy. Say hello. Worst-case scenario, we share a few laughs. Best-case scenario? Well, that's the fun part of finding out.

What is the one meal you could eat every day for rest of your life?

What is your favorite drink (doesn't have to be alcoholic)


r/polyamoryR4R • • 14h ago

30 [M4F] Washington State- Looking for online and in person dating

0 Upvotes

Happily married for 10 stellar years and practicing polyamory. I’m looking to write a few new chapters with someone who appreciates a good adventure, both on the page and out in the wild.

By day, I am a certified nerd who is equally comfortable rolling natural 20s in TTRPGs, strategizing over complex board games, or getting lost in a video game. But don't worry, I do occasionally touch grass—usually while hiking a scenic trail, traveling to new places, or heading to the gym so I can lift something heavier than a 20-sided die.

I also love to cook, which means if you play your cards right, I might just whip up a gourmet meal for our next game night.

If you are down for some witty banter, deep storytelling, or just arguing over the exchange rate of goods in Catan, hit me up. What is your go-to board game or travel destination?


r/polyamoryR4R • • 16h ago

31 [M4F]Looking for a Genuine Connection 28–35| Friends First

0 Upvotes

I’m looking to meet someone new, build a genuine connection, and see where things go naturally. I’m not interested in rushing anything or forcing a connection. I think the best relationships start with a solid friendship.
Ideally, you’re a cisgender woman between 28 and 35, easygoing, open-minded, and someone who enjoys good conversation. I like being able to joke around, flirt, talk about random things for hours, and have those deeper conversations where you really get to know someone.
I’m particularly drawn to someone who’s laid-back and independent but has a little clingy side when she likes someone. Someone who enjoys talking throughout the day, remembers the little things, gets excited when my name pops up on her phone, and isn’t afraid to get a little attached when the chemistry is right. I like mutual effort, consistent communication, playful flirting, and knowing the interest goes both ways.
I’m married, and my wife will remain my primary partner. I’m looking to develop a separate relationship of my own with someone who genuinely understands and is comfortable with that dynamic. I picture things being mostly online to start, getting to know each other through messages, conversations, and calls, with the possibility of meeting in person down the road if things develop that way.
I value honesty, consistency, affection, and being able to be yourself without playing games. I’m not expecting instant chemistry or looking to force anything into a box. If we become good friends and it grows into something more, that’s great. I’d rather let a connection develop naturally than rush it.
If this sounds like your kind of connection, send me a message and tell me a little about yourself. Tell me something you enjoy, what kind of connection you’re hoping to find, or even something random that’ll give us an easy starting point. Let’s see if we click.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 16h ago

29 [M4F] slovakia, a random medical doctor who is trying to find a good person to have nice chats with and maybe more if it'll click 😄

0 Upvotes

About me: I like active life style, i work out, run, bicycle, football, and i cook kinda good as well lol

I'm was a barista master as well so i do latte arts as well

It doesn't matter to me where r u from, or what time zone, but just be a person who likes to laugh alot and is easygoing 😄 we can chat about whatever

If you're free a wanna have a chat just leave a comment and I'll text u


r/polyamoryR4R • • 17h ago

30 [M4F] #Italy/online - tall guy who cooks, reads and loves good conversations, looking for flirty friends

0 Upvotes

Hey there! I'm 30M from Italy, and I'm putting this out there because I'd love to connect with someone open minded and a bit playful for daily chats, with the possibility of meeting up in person down the road.

A quick rundown of who I am:

  • I love being outside, hiking and camping are some of my favorite things
  • Grabbing a coffee or a spritz with friends is always a good time
  • I actually enjoy cooking, just not for myself, I get too lazy when it's only me
  • Movies and anime are my thing, plus I read for fun and keep starting DIY projects I never quite finish
  • I'm 6'5, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a beard

Hit me up, I'd love to hear from you!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 14h ago

USA 46 [M4F] Washington State- Poly Newbie-Looking for love and connection

0 Upvotes

Hi, I’m 46, 6’1”, White, Slender Build, Shaved Head and a Beard and living in the beautiful Puget Sound. I’m looking to stick my toe in the Poly water, by joining an established relationship or find someone also new to exploring. I have a stable job, divorced but no drama, and a pretty fun/funny guy. I’m a pretty typical Pacific Northwest Guy. I love being out in nature when it’s not a downpour of rain, a good cup of coffee, being on the water, but also enjoy staying in and having a lazy Sunday like I am right now. I’d love to find someone to explore this area with, and that I can grow a fulfilling relationship with. I have a playful, inquisitive attitude, always up for new adventures, and love meeting new people. I am a bit of an ambivert so I like a mix of social activity and recharging at home under the covers. Anyways before I start to ramble, if any of this sounds appealing please reach out. Have a great day!


r/polyamoryR4R • • 18h ago

41 [M4F] WashingtonDC/USA Bi seeking primary partner

0 Upvotes

'm looking for a primary partner, a nice girl to treat well and build a life with. But I also want someone who will be happy for me to go to the gay orgy, wants to go to the sapphic one herself, and in general enjoys groups, openness, and connectedness.

As the title implies, I'm based in DC. But I've started a remote job recently, and I have the ability to work from anywhere in the ConUS. If I find the right person, I'm willing to make it work.

The pros:

Have the basics of my life together - financial, emotional, aspirational

Can articulate my feelings and what I want

Cooks and cleans

Many plants

Burgeoning fashion interest

Likes the gym but in a chill way

Serious about sexual health and communication

The particulars:

I don't want kids, I've surgically foreclosed this

Drinking isn't for me

I prefer getting up early to staying up late

I'm an omnivore trying to eat less meat

Romantically, I find myself attracted more to femmes

I'm not religious

The asks:

Have your basics in line - financial, emotional, aspirational

Have an established fitness habit

Please no astrologers or tarot readers

Bonus if you like to meditate

I used to joke that my ideal woman would have a PhD and a stripper pole. While those specifics aren't limits at all, the mix of erudition, open sexuality, and fitness draws me in. I don't care if you're cis or not.

If that plants a seed of interest, please say hello.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 1d ago

USA 20[F4A] #Louisiana #Online - Looking for multiple partners male or female, or joining already established relationship

4 Upvotes

About Me:
Age / Location: 20, Louisiana/CST

What I look like: Brown skin brown eyes, on the slim side, 5’6, my style is casual or street casual

What I do: Software Dev Major, Focusing on school, and hobbies

Hobbies & Interests: I like cooking, gaming, watching movies, listening to music, gym, skating

What I’m Looking For:
Someone kind, emotionally mature, can be communicative. Someone who enjoys deep chats as well as comfortable silence. A person that’s goal oriented or atleast has a plan. Be fine with the fact that I may not want to text all the time, so while we can communicate sometimes im just not in the mood to text it gets boring for me or I’m either busy and don’t have time. Someone that’s actually ready or wants a relationship, or to atleast date to see if we’re compatible and how it goes. I myself am a loner, I don’t need a relationship right now but I want one.

Open to local people, and online but it has to turn into meeting in person!

If interested in getting to know each other, send me a message! Tell me a bit about yourself and what you’re looking for relationship wise, or what you’re offering as im open to joining an already established relationship. No blank "hey" messages, please get to the point.


r/polyamoryR4R • • 19h ago

33 [M4F] #Charlotte / Anywhere Looking for another connection

0 Upvotes

Hey internet people!

I am looking for good conversations, and someone to just share life with. I like to chat throughout the day when life is not to crazy and have that person I can call on late night drives and text good morning when they wake up.

I love talking to people that are passionate about hobbies, work, family, or anything that they would love to explain to me. I am a very passionate person myself and love diving deep into topics.

My current hobby listed is pretty wide but graphite drawing, and working out are at the top of the list. I have been running a bunch of 5ks as they come up with the goal to get under 30 mins and probably slowing down if I get sub 25. I am not the best artist but with the ever increasing use of AI at my job I have needed something more grounding and expressive in my life, and I decided drawing would be it. As for working out I like to go to the gym as often as I can but I have a full life and can't put the gym in front of family time.

I’m 33 and partnered, we date separately. I am 5' 10" with brown hair and eyes. I have a slim/athletic build. I am open to making a new connection and seeing where it leads.

I have just about a million hobbies and interests so if you are a passionate person I would love to hear from you.

If this sounds like your vibe, send a message. Tell me what you’re currently reading, playing, or watching, or just say hi.