Hi everyone. I'm really struggling and would be so grateful for advice, support and recovery stories. My OCD and emetophobia have become so distressing that I feel like I'm losing my life to them.

I'm terrified of vomiting and nausea, and my OCD now connects ordinary things like texting, taking pictures, uploading posts, using open-mouth emojis, or making phone calls with my mouth open to the fear of vomiting.

I also struggle with colour OCD (especially brown, orange and green), fear of even numbers, and religious OCD involving washing rituals, prayers, recitations, and constantly doubting whether I've done things correctly. I'm trapped in cycles of anxiety, reassurance-seeking, checking, avoiding and repeating things.

I feel like I can't even text someone without first praying my obligatory prayers, even when there's still time to pray. I worry that WhatsApp messages will stay on my phone forever and that God will punish me forever, leaving me nauseated or vomiting forever. I know these fears might sound irrational, but they feel so real and distressing that I don't know how to escape them anymore.

I can't currently afford therapy, and I'm also caring for my disabled mother, which makes everything even harder.

Please, if you've experienced similar OCD fears and recovered, tell me how you did it. Did ERP or CBT help? How did you stop obeying your thoughts and start living normally again?

I'm genuinely desperate for hope and practical advice. I want to practise my faith peacefully, use my phone without fear, and get my life back. I feel so overwhelmed, and I'd be incredibly grateful to hear from anyone who understands. Please be kind.

I’m 19, and I have a boyfriend who I love so much. He is someone I genuinely see a future with, someone I want to marry and build a family with one day. He is my best friend, and I want him close to me. I love spending time with him, being around him, and feeling loved by him. But recently, my own mind has been making me question everything, and it has been one of the most emotionally exhausting experiences of my life.

Everything started getting worse after I told my boyfriend something about my past that I had been hiding. Before we got back together, I had been involved with one of his friends. I had previously told him that we had only kissed, but eventually, I told him the whole truth. I felt so much guilt and regret about what happened, and I was terrified of losing my boyfriend because of it. At first, he told me that he might not have continued the relationship if he had known everything beforehand. That absolutely broke me because losing him is one of my biggest fears.

We talked about it, and he stayed with me, and we’re still together. Things have been okay between us, but I think that whole situation triggered something in my mind.
After that fight i remember my mind would just tell me to repeat the same details all over again if everything that happened with this other guy. But it was something that I didn’t want to do because if my boyfriend knows everything, why go into details about everything that happened when we hooked up? Is like my mind goes against all of my fears because I knew that if I said that the relationship would be over and that’s my fear.

Now, I get intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend and my relationship. My mind tells me things like, “What if you don’t love him?” “What if you don’t want to be with him?” “What if you want the other guy instead?” or “What if you secretly have feelings for that person?” Sometimes I get thoughts about wanting distance from my boyfriend, even though I genuinely want him close to me. Other times, I get thoughts about not wanting the relationship anymore, and then I panic because that’s the last thing I want.

I KNOW I love my boyfriend. I know how I feel about him when I’m not caught up in my thoughts. I want him, I want our future, and I want to be with him. I have no desire to be with the other guy. I regret what happened, and I don’t have feelings for him. I left that situation behind because I wanted to be with my boyfriend. But my mind keeps bringing the past back and making me question whether my feelings are real.

One of the worst parts is that sometimes the thoughts happen at the most unexpected moments. Even while I’m having sex with my boyfriend, an unwanted thought about the other guy can suddenly pop into my head. I don’t want to think about that person, especially not during intimate moments with the man I love. When it happens, I become so distressed that I start questioning what the thought means.

I analyze it, replay it, and try to figure out why it appeared. Then I become scared that the fact that I thought about it must mean something, even though I never wanted the thought in the first place.
Sometimes I get so anxious when someone even mentions the other guy that I start shaking. I think it’s because of all the guilt, regret, fear, and painful memories associated with that situation. But then I start questioning my reaction, too. I question why I’m reacting that way, what it means, and whether it says something about my feelings. It feels like absolutely everything can become something for my mind to analyze.
I’ve also noticed that when my boyfriend and I argue, these thoughts can become worse.

Sometimes I look for reassurance, and I feel better for a little while, but then another thought comes along, and suddenly I’m questioning everything all over again. I remember the first thoughts I had a year and half were after watching the show “monster” and I remember it freaked me out so much I stopped watching it. And then out of nowhere the thought of hurting my mother came in and then sexually abusing my little sister. I felt like I couldn’t escape those thoughts.

It’s like I cannot trust my own mind anymore. I wake up anxious because I’m scared of what I might think about that day. Sometimes I’m afraid of dreaming about the other guy because I worry that even a dream will mean something. I start wondering whether my thoughts have hidden meanings or whether they are trying to tell me something about myself. I KNOW that thoughts can be unwanted and meaningless, but when the anxiety gets bad, it’s incredibly difficult to stop questioning them.

This has affected me so much that I’ve cried uncontrollably, lost sleep, struggled to eat, felt nausea and dizzy, and experienced moments when my anxiety gets so intense that I feel like I cannot breathe. There have been times when I’ve felt desperate for my mind to stop because I just want to feel normal again. I want to be able to enjoy my relationship without constantly examining my feelings. I want to be able to have a happy moment with my boyfriend without my mind suddenly throwing something at me that makes me question everything.

At one point, I became so overwhelmed by my thoughts that I wondered whether hurting myself would be a way to escape what was happening inside my head. I want to be clear that those feelings came from how desperate I felt for relief, and I don’t want to keep feeling that way. I want help, peace, and a way to manage these thoughts without being consumed by them.
What makes this especially difficult is that my boyfriend has been supportive of me. He checks on me, comforts me, and tries to help me calm down. I don’t want my anxiety to damage our relationship or make him feel like he has to constantly prove that we’re okay. I want to enjoy the love we have instead of spending every day being afraid that my own thoughts will somehow ruin it.

I feel so guilty because I know that my boyfriend loves me, and I love him, but I keep getting stuck in my own head. I want to stop analyzing every thought, every feeling, every reaction, and every memory. I want to stop looking for certainty about things that I already know I want in my life.
I also want to mention that I have experienced intrusive thoughts about people I love before, including my mother and sister, so this isn’t the first time my mind has put me through something like this. Back then, the thoughts were different, but the fear and distress were very real. Now, the focus seems to be my relationship, and I feel exhausted. There is times where my mind tells me that I’m irritated by my boyfriend and that I don’t want him but that is NOT true.

Please somebody help me.

I know it's really stupid but they make me really paranoid for a while, I hate them so much. I love the immunity dog tho <3

My mother in law is a good mom when it comes to mental support of her children, but she's terrible at making boundaries and caring about everyone else's mental health that isn't her kids. She owns a sewing shop, my girlfriend works there too and a few months ago she gave me a job there too, and it's great... The problem is that she also lets her youngest daughter (5yo) run around the shop and just do as she sees fit.

She lets her jump on the tables, rub paint on the walls and chairs, steal her work phone to download a thousand games on it and just gives in whenever she throws tantrums. This also extends out of the shop, she doesn't even try to make the kid sit down during car rides or even fasten up.

I often catch myself wishing she falls down from the desks when jumping on them, or that we get in a small car crash, just big enough for her to go flying to the front seat and hurts herself so it teaches her to sit down and fasten up. I keep wishing the charger explodes while she's using her mom's work phone, not to hurt, but to scare her. I keep wishing she chokes badly on the food she forced my gf to buy for her by throwing a tantrum until her mother yells at my gf to go buy it.

I keep reaping the consequences of her bad raising with my gf, because i keep having to teach her basic decency since her mother didn't bother to. I keep having to teach her not to point at strangers, not to take what's not hers, not to interrupt people, stuff you should learn as a kid and it sometimes makes me hope she gets hurt too

I don't want to wish this, i hate how violent my thoughts are becoming. I know she's just a kid, but still, i keep thinking about her with a broken arm as a solution to all this. I want to stop

I was thinking my left hand is useless. It's like a third string quarterback. Yeah sure it can do the job but even he's surprised anyone asked. What if I chop it off for a pirates hook? I bet I would use that more. Heat resistance, speed, waterproof level submersible, aerodynamics, cold resilience, intimidation, meat hooking stuff, zipline transportation, I could go on all day. I know what you're thinking but no I'm not talking some back alley scrap metal hunk of trash what couldn't pierce a tomato! I'm talking 87 folds of Japanese Damascus steel forged by monks who've dedicated their entire lives to just one the 7 steps in the production process. Forged over coals made solely from the compressed carbonated droppings of three legged flying squirrels at the top of Mt. Ataka! One serendipitous rub along your courdoroy pant leg at a certain angle and thrust would send a harmonic tone frequency pulsing out into the atmosphere impregnating every woman in a 3km radius. Fasssshhhiiinnggg waaaassshhinnnggg buuutttoonnninggggggg!!!!!! Oh what was that? I just stitched a heart surgery wound ... on a SCORPION ... BABY! A scorpions baby. Wow! What did you do with your left hand today? Prop your head up. Briefly. But it went numb in minutes because it's not used to such a workload? Gimmie a break. I'll start a revolution; Hookers vs Dead Lefties. Choose your side wisely....

Seeing a tram arrive at the station, I often get thoughts like "wonder what would happen if I put my foot under the wheels", even though I logically know I'd lose the foot. As for trains, I've been getting thoughts like "jump under it! Do it!" while it's passing me by or/and my brain calculating how to survive falling under one, even debating which part of the body to sacrifice if need be.

i've been living with my roommates for the past year or so. i love them, i really do. we're all great friends who go out and do stuff together all the time. but lately, my brain won't stop telling me to kill them over little things, like petty arguments or the fact that two of them scream at each other over video games for hours on end. i had to pop one of my friend's anxiety pills recently just so that they'd stop. i don't know what to do

Keep having thoughts about exploding peoples heads victoria neuman style when I'm talking to them without doing it on purpose or even knowing I can do that. I am terrified of secretly having superpowers and killing someone I love with them even though that is literally not possible

Or like hugging someone but I have super strength and without realising I accidentally crush their entire body ?

Does anyone else get this

I get intrusive thoughts so often. I'll just be daydreaming, minding my own business when my brain will see someone and go "quick, think something bad about them!" and I have to tell that part of my brain NOPE. STOP. STOP. before it can come up with anything. This happens very rarely, but I've even had moments where a terrible thought about someone just popped into my head with no warning and I just have to go where the HECK did that come from??

I think I'm managing them okay, I just do my best to redirect my train of thought and not linger on it. But its just so irritating to deal with, especially when its happening to the person I'm talking to. I'm so busy fighting off intrusive thoughts that I can't focus on the conversation we're activley having

(English is not my first language, sorry for mistakes)

I'm 17 yo, and I live with my boyfriends family.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and since he introduced me to his uncle, I have weird thoughts of him. We always meet on the weekends, and sometimes he stays for the whole week.

He's 20 years older than me, and I have a thing for older men. I don't know why, but every time an older man gives me attention, I have sexual toughts about them, and dream about them playing with me sexually. Sometimes I have dreams about my male teachers, but thats not important rn.

This week he stayed with us, and I saw him every day. We don't talk much, usually just saying hi to eachother.

But my gosh... I felt nervous around him, and I had dreams about him touching my thighs and fucking me?? And I liked these dreams, I couldn't stop thinking about them but also i'm disgusted about the fact that i'm attracted to him..

He's working on something rn, and he's often without a shirt aswell and I hate how I like his body, and I noticed he has freckles on his back and i LOVE freckles, and I'm disgusted of myself bc I can't look away when we are in the kitchen and He has his back to me....

He has the type of body i'm dying for, and hes much taller than me, and he also wears glasses (and he's older).. I hate myself for thinking about him this way.

But don't get me wrong, I would never leave my bf for anyone or cheat on him, and I feel ashamed of having toughts like these.. I told my bf this before and he's not mad at me, he just thinks its weird, and I agreed with him.

Can anyone tell me what this is? Why am I having weird, sexual toughts and dreams of older men, especially of my bfs uncle?? Its so weird, and it souldnt be this way.

If I ever marry a man, please let him be a chef. Imagine coming home to freshly cooked meals every day? A woman can dream.

But honestly, never mind. I'll learn to cook for myself because I refuse to make marriage a survival strategy.

I'm not looking for a man to do things for me. I just think having a personal chef who happens to be your husband would be a pretty sweet deal. HAHAHA.

Anyway, ladies, what's your most unserious reason for wanting to get married?

Since puberty I've had recurring sexual/intrusive thoughts about my mom. I've never acted on them and I don't want to act on them. I know acting on them would be harmful and would destroy our family relationship.

They are distressing and cause a lot of shame. They get worse when I'm stressed, isolated, or using substances. I'm trying to stop feeding them with porn or fantasy and focus on healthy adult relationships outside my family.

I'm looking for advice from people who have dealt with persistent taboo intrusive thoughts - what helped you make them less frequent? Did therapy, journaling, exercise, etc. help? I'm also looking into local counseling/support for substance use.

Not looking for graphic stories, explicit details, or DMs - just coping strategies and support.

Thanks.

I'm posting on a throwaway. Since puberty I've had unwanted sexual fantasies about a close family member. I have never acted on them and I don't want to act on them.

It's distressing because it conflicts with how I want to see that relationship. It comes and goes, but stress and isolation make it worse.

Has anyone dealt with persistent taboo fantasies like this? What helped you reduce how often they come up or stop feeling so much shame around them? I'm looking for coping strategies and whether therapy helped.

Not looking for explicit stories or DMs, just advice/support.

When I was 17-18 years old, there were 3 guys(let's call them evil guys) in my class(they were friends with each other). They used to whisper to whoever sat behind me to annoy me/trouble me. This they did continuously for 2 years. But they pretended to be my friends.

Two of those guys lived in an area where my second cousin also lived. The second cousin's mother was envious/jealous of me and my family. I asked one of those evil guys if he knew my second cousin. He said "No". Years later I saw on his profile a pic with few other boys including my second cousin.

Also I had a political ideology different from everyone else in class.

After 2 years, when I moved to a different place to study, they called me from an unknown number.

I think they did it because they didn't want me to succeed and focus in class. They wanted me to be distracted in class because of jealousy/envy.

What do you think?

I have never come across anyone who had this experience(neither online, nor offline).

I'm 21(M) and I've been diagnosed with OCD by 1 psychiatrist and 2 different psychologists, so 3 doctors in total since July this year. I've told them everything which I'm about to say here.

I do suffer from OCD, I've suffered from ROCD, Real Event OCD, ZOCD, HOCD, Moral OCD and many more, it got significantly worse this year and it's been 10 months of me with not a single second of mental peace. But do i suffer from POCD? That is debatable.

Since the month of february, I've been convinced that I did something bad to my little cousin or m\*lested her back in 2023. This is a post where I've briefly mentioned what I remembered happening : https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/s/bgA7ZxxIvq

I've done many compulsions for 8-10 hours a day since february, including seeking reassurance from AI and other people, ruminating and mentally replaying, punishing myself etc etc. My POCD got worse in June and i started performing compulsions like checking for groinal sensations, deliberately imagining graphic things with k#ds to see if I feel something ( every single time I felt a groinal response or an erection ), I avoid kids, but i also somehow peek at them to CHECK if I feel something, and I sometimes get a mental "pull" to do something to them, which i absolutely hate and distress over, and i don't want to do anything with any k#d.

Why am I saying it's debatable? Because the things I've done as an 18-20 year old are very questionable. From the ages of 18-20, I've continuously viewed loli manga/doujinshi, back then it wasn't for checking as I didn't have "POCD" back then, it was something I just did. Back in 2025 when I was 20, I also found out about the pinterest app, and i scrolled there and eventually found escalating and taboo pictures there, they were not illegal material, but they were morally questionable. I stopped eventually and felt disgusted by them.

Matter of fact, i was always pretty disgusted when I saw someone in the internet making weird comments about k#ds, BUT I was also someone who went ahead and read loli doujinshi. Am i a hypocrite?

Currently, i still go to loli manga stuff but i DONT enjoy them, i ONLY go there to check and perform a compulsion, to see if I'm aroused.

I want genuine advice on what I should do. It's serious. Should I stay away from k#ds? Should I turn myself in? Should I treat this as OCD? or genuine pedophilia?

Please do not ignore this, just give me whatever advice you have. Be completely honest about it.

I don’t know if trigger warnings need/should be posted, but trigger warning about taking your own life.

To be ABUNDANTLY clear, I do not want to take my own life, I just have a very morbid sense of curiosity.

A long time back, fifteen years at least, my dad told me that he read a study wherein individuals who had jumped from bridges/buildings/etc. with the intention to end their lives, and survived obviously, were asked what went through their heads as they fell. And the vast majority of them said that they realized they wanted to live. I was around 10 so I didn’t ask and can’t site his research, I apologize, maybe he was full of shit.

I now live very close to train tracks and someone, one of many, took their life by jumping in front. Herein lies my question: with the bridge/building/etc. “method”, you jump and there is no going back. There is a lot of thought leading up to it, but in the last moment it is a snap decision with not return. With the train, you have to wait. And time it. What is the thought process while you are waiting and timing the train. Or do you think they just lay on the tracks. And when they hear the train coming they are so far gone that fight/flight doesn’t kick in?